I never asked for this, nor had seen it coming. Everything happened in the blink of an eye, but it is all burned into my mind, running up and down. Understandable. After all, what else am I expected to think right now? I try to ignore it. I've already analysed every detail of the scene and there is no reason to assign fault. Rather, it was a giant chain of events. Perhaps it was fate, who knows. It certainly would explain how we could get to this already, when everything started just a few hours ago, with Princess Celestia sending an urgent letter by dragon mail requesting my presence at Canterlot. Just another standard issue, I had thought and awaited the pegasus carriage which arrived flawlessly as always. I didn't bother to say goodbye to my friends, other than him and her. In just a few hours at most, I would be back with them, I promised. I can only hope they won't find out how wrong I was too quickly.
Ponies always say your entire life flashes before you in this moment. Well, what can I say, I suppose they're wrong. All I can see is what happened after I boarded the carriage. The rest of my past is dead and buried, I guess. But let's not think about that for the moment. The ride had begun normally. The pegasi pulling had greeted me and, after a quick wing stretch, taken off. The acceleration at the start is something I'll never get used to, but it's always worth the feeling of flying, seeing the clouds drift by, feeling the wind blowing in my mane, almost as if I had wings myself. Admittedly, I never really wanted to be a unicorn. Sure, the entire magic thing is great, but when I picture soaring past the clouds, above the ground with all its sorrow, it all pales in comparison. Oddly enough though, in this very moment, I find myself content with what I am and forever will be.
A whinny from the side tears me from my contemplation. Perhaps they have recovered, perhaps there is hope. If there is, do I want it? Not for me. For them. They have a duty to fulfill. I, who cares about me? I suppose she does. She and the rest of my friends. I feel sorry for their loss, but I wouldn't change it if I could. Not to say I wish my dearest suffering, but it'll be for the best of all together. I sound selfish, don't I. But who else is here to consider besides me? Maybe the whole world revolves entirely around me. I couldn't tell. No, there are more in Equestria. I can see them.
About half the way in, we got ambushed by strong currents and blown off towards the Everfree Forest. That had happened before, it wouldn't do much other than prolong our journey. Long enough, however. I catch a glimpse at the sky. It has cleared up by now as if nothing had ever been in the way of the Sun's blessed warmth. I shut my eyes again. I don't want to watch when all I can see is within me anyway. Even with my lids shut, I can't stop a single tear when I have to correct myself because what's deep inside of me is what I just thought would mean nothing to me any more. Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Spike, and her. I must hope they understand why I didn't try harder to escape. Ultimately, there was no way for me, they'll tell each other, I was struck with the worst possible luck. I wonder if they would know that they are lying to themselves. She, of all, should probably know. Would she tell them? Desecrate me? Shatter what allowed them to accept the pain? Would that be for the better?
I have to fear for what Rainbow Dash will do. She's the local sky clearer, she'd keep repeating to herself. She would have had to clean up this storm before it could grow strong enough. She would have had to be here for me in time. I can only hope she sees her own impotence in this matter before she follows my example laden with guilt that is not hers or anypony's. Our mutual friends need to step in, to recognise the signs ahead of time. I don't want any case as mine to happen within their lifetimes. Never again, for whatever reason.
That aside, what about her? What would be holding her back? She always refused to talk about it, but I can't shake the feeling that she lived essentially to see me learn and grow. What if that is removed? Would I see her again, in some place behind? Would I want to? No matter how happy we could both be when reunited once and for all at last, I don't think I could stand seeing her, broken down by what gives her purely joy and euphoria in all cases since we first met personally. No, she wouldn't. They would be there for her as they are for Rainbow Dash. I still have to live with what I will cause, however.
I have to think positive. Where I am right now means that it will at least be some time until they find the unbearable, undeniable truth. Perhaps they won't find it at all. I hope they will, though. Finding refuge in the possibility that the reason for pain is nonexistent may provide the illusion that the pain also goes away, but in reality, it will only grow if left ignored. I've made that mistake plenty of times in the past, but now I've learned that pain is best encountered by absorbing the full blast together with all of your friends at your side.
I am ready. My eyes stopped watering. A smile grows on my face. I'm flying at last.
I am Twilight Sparkle, and these are my last thoughts.
