Canvas

by jozeether

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Main 6, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Romance
Length: 4885

The fate of Equestria lies in the hooves of a blank flank

An epic war in Equestria's future hinges on the actions of a blank flank in the past. When Lumen finally does something worthy of a cutie mark, his flank is still blank. This raises several questions. "What is my talent? Why am I here? Who is this voice in my head?"

Published 2013-02-01 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-01 20:30:01 UTC

The New Farmhand

Year 1000 of the Celestial Calendar

Lumen had an interesting life up to this point, interesting being the nicest way of putting it. The brown earth pony had been raised at the Canterlot Orphanage. His adult life had consisted of moving from town to town picking up odd jobs, and trying his best to stay under the radar. The most interesting fact about him though, is the fact that he still didn't have his cutie mark. He was the first fully grown stallion to be a blank flank. Nopony wanted to hire him for any big jobs because other, more qualified ponies were available to do it.

Lumen looked at the newspaper clipping in his hoof, "Sweet Apple Acres, eh?" he sighed as he walked down the road. "Not as flashy as my last job, but beggars can't be choosers."

As he approached the farm he could see the large orchard where he would be harvesting apples. He saw several ponies out applebucking, and it looked like they were almost done with the entire field. This is the Sweet Apple Acres that needs a farmhand? As he neared the gate an orange mare was there to green him.

"Howdy-doo there! You must be Lumen. We got yer letter a couple days ago," said the mare.

"Yes, I wa..." Lumen started to say.

"Mah names Applejack," the mare said as she gave a hearty shake to Lumen's forehoof, "Ah sure am glad somepony responded to our want ad. Granny said it was a waste of time."

"I was wondering, do you really need any help? You seem to have it covered." Lumen pointed out as he motioned to the workers out in the orchard.

"Those are just family members that came out to help us get ready for the summer sun celebration, we still need somepony to work full-time for us." Applejack nodded toward Lumen, "You still interested?"

"Yes Ma'am!" replied the eager brown stallion.

"Good, just have a couple a questions for ya."

"Right... go ahead," Lumen timidly responded as he prepared for the worst. She's gonna ask about my flank.

"Ever worked on an apple farm before?"

"No. But I've worked at a Cherry Orchard before," was Lumen's dumbstruck response.

"Why don't you still work there? If'n ya don't mind me askin'."

"Somepony with better qualifications showed up. They didn't need my services anymore." Lumen said as he hung his head.

"So ya didn't do a good job?" Applejack asked as she scratched her head.

"No, I did a great job. The new guy was just... better..." Lumen trailed off.

"Well ya don't have to worry about that here! At Sweet Apple Acres a hard day's work and a good attitude are all that matters!" Applejack stated in an attempt to pick up Lumen's dive-bombing mood, "Why don't ya come with me and I'll introduce ya to the family."

"Wait, what abou..."

"Right! I almost forgot. Ya got the job on a trial basis. Do a good job, and I'll hire you full time." she explained.

"Thanks Applejack, I won't let you down."

Lumen was introduced to so many Apples that he wasn't entirely sure he could remember them all, but he made sure to remember Granny Smith, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom. Right when introductions were over, Applejack got everypony to head back to the house for dinner. It wasn't long after sitting down that Apple Bloom asked an awkward question.

"Mister Lumen, why don't ya have yer cutie mark?"

"APPLE BLOOM!" Applejack shouted at her sister, "We don't ask guests those sort ah questions!"

"It's ok, I'm actually surprised it took this long for somepony to ask," said Lumen as he re-adjusted his seat, "I'm sure you'd all like to know, so I might as well just get it out."

"Ya don't have to if you don't want to sonny," reassured Granny Smith.

"It's nothing tragic or embarrassing, I just haven't found my special talent yet," Explained Lumen, "Most ponies think I'm lazy or useless because of it, so I appreciate being somewhere that I'm not judged because of it."

"The Apple family don't like to judge ponies like that," said Applejack, "A hard days work is much more important than what your flank says about you."

"Thanks, that means a lot to me," Lumen looked right at Apple Bloom, "That answer your question?"

"Kinda, but aren't you worried about never getting your cutie mark?" Apple Bloom asked with genuine worry in her voice.

Lumen glanced down and saw her blank flank.

"Not really. A blank flank is like a canvas."

"A blank piece of cloth?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Until an artist paints a masterpiece on it. You wouldn't want to rush the Pony Lisa, would you?"

"I guess not," Apple Bloom groaned as she scraped her hoof along the ground.

Lumen looked around the table, "Well... Enough of this, who's excited for the Summer Sun Celebration?" The change in topic was very successful, as several Apples started talking about all the fun things there were to do for the celebration.

After dinner, Applejack showed Lumen to the barn.

"I hope this is ok for tonight. We'll get'cha a room ready tomorrow," Applejack explained.

"This is fine. I've definitely slept in worse," Lumen joked, "I just want to know what kind of work I'll be doing tomorrow."

"Well, we got the family takin' care of all the specifics. You just have to help with the heavy liftin' and maybe run a few errands. Can ya do that?"

"Sounds good. I guess this is goodnight then?" Lumen asked.

"One more thing. Where in Equestria did you come up with that canvas bit?"

"A friend of mine said that to me when I was in a dark place," Lumen explained, "They're my reason to never give up."

"Well then, thank Celestia for this friend of yours," Applejack smiled at Lumen, "You seem like too good of a pony to just give up. See ya tomorrow mornin'!"

"Yeah, tomorrow."

Author's Note

I had to make some changes here to make Applejack and Lumen's first interaction feel more realistic. Hope it works!

Meet and Greet

"Rise and shine everypony!" Applejack shouted while ringing a triangle, "We got lotsa work to do if we wanna be ready for the Summer Sun Celebration!"

Lumen groaned as he rolled off his comfy pile of hay. I haven't woken up this early since I worked on that cherry orchard. He walked to the barn door where Applejack was waiting for him.

"We need ya to run into town and run some errands for us."

"Where am I going and what am I doing?" Lumen asked drowsily.

"Ah need you to take some tablecloths to mah friend Rarity at city hall, and pick up some flour from Sugarcube Corner," Applejack explained, "Don't worry about money, the flour's already paid for."

"Alright, when's breakfast?" Lumen yawned as he asked.

"We're havin' brunch in a little bit, just enough time to run your errands."

"You have brunch?" Lumen tilted his head.

"Not usually, but ah let everypony sleep in this mornin'."

THIS IS SLEEPING IN?!

"Ah have the tablecloths in this here saddle bag," she said as set the bag down by the door, Might wanna get goin' so ya don't miss brunch."

Lumen strapped on the saddle bag and started toward town. He looked at his flank. Here's to hoping the ponies in Ponyville are as understanding as the Apples.

Lumen had just entered Ponyville when he heard a loud scream. He looked around, but couldn't find the source. Suddenly he was struck over the head. When Lumen came to a Cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane was standing over him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"I'm fine. You only hit my head," Lumen sarcastically responded.

"Well Mr. Sass, you must be fine. My name's Rainbow Dash by the way."

"I'm Lumen. Quite an impression you make there," he said as he pointed to his head.

"Right... Sorry about that."

"What were you doing before you crashed?" Lumen asked.

"Practicing to join the Wonderbolts!" she yelled as she stuck a hoof in the air.

"Good luck with that then," he said while rolling his eyes.

The streets of Ponyville were incredibly busy, so it wasn't hard to get directions around town.Lumen was very surprised that nopony asked about his lack of a cutie mark. He looked around and saw that everypony was working really hard to make sure every nook and cranny in Ponyville was decorated. They sure take the Summer Sun Celebration seriously here. It wasn't long before he reached his destination.

"Hello? Anypony here?"

"One second! I'll be out in a minute!" came the sweet voice. A beautiful white unicorn came out from behind a curtain, "What is it you need?"

"I'm uh... I'm here to drop off these tablecloths."

"Oh. You must be the Apple's new farm hand. I'm Rarity."

"Lumen"

"Pleasure to meet you. If you could be a dear and drop those off over there please, that would be wonderful." Rarity motioned to a stack of fabrics in the corner.

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Thank you so much, I only hope the decorations are good enough for the celebration," she said as she was looking at several options for banners.

"If that's all, I kind of need to get going." Lumen said regretfully.

"Of course, don't let me keep you."

Lumen left the City Hall and made his way to Sugarcube Corner. On his way he looked around and saw everypony checking and double-checking all the decorations. Geez. These ponies are acting like the princess is gonna be here. When he arrived at Sugarcube Corner, he wasn't ready for what was there.

"Excuse me. I'm here about Applejack's flour." Lumen stated as he walked up to the counter.

"Okey Dokey Lokey! One sec while I finish up here!" came a voice from the kitchen.

A pink pony came out of the kitchen carrying two bags of flour. "Let's see, here's the flour and... OOOOOOOOOHHHHH! Another one!"

The pony ran up the stairs and slammed a door. Lumen looked around and picked up the bags of flour. They ARE already paid for. He left wondering what could have possibly been wrong with that pony. On his way back Lumen couldn't help but wonder why everypony seemed so stressed. It was just the Summer Sun Celebration.

"Ya just missed the pony the princess sent to check on the festivities," Applejack said as Lumen walked up, "We still got plenty of food for ya in the house."

"Why would the princess send a pony here to check on us?"

"Didn't ya hear? Princess Celestia is coming to Ponyville this year!"

"WHAT?!"

"I thought you would have known. It's all anypony can talk about."

"I haven't exactly been in a position to talk to many ponies here before today."

"Right," Applejack started to blush, "Anyways, Ah got an invite to a party tonight. Ya might want to come too."

"A party sounds like fun."

When Lumen and Applejack made it to the library he saw a couple of familiar faces. They didn't have any time to socialize because they were getting ready for a surprise party. After everypony took their positions, the waiting began.

"Huh, rude much?" said a small purple dragon

"Sorry Spike, but I have to convince the princess that Nightmare Moon is coming, and we're running out of time," replied a purple unicorn,"I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time. Now where's the light?"

"SURPRISE!" yelled everypony. Lumen couldn't help but feel embarrassed for the unicorn. Even Rainbow Dash made a better first impression.

The party got started and Lumen walked over to introduce himself.

"Well, that was quite the entrance."

"I don't want to talk about it," groaned the mare, "It wasn't exactly my finest moment."

"I gathered that, my names Lumen by the way."

"Lumen huh? Sounds like a unicorn name."

"Not like I had much of a choice."

"Right, sorry. My name is Twilight Sparkle."

"Nice to meet you Twilight. I wonder if..." Lumen was interrupted by the crazy pink pony.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! When I saw you two today I knew you were both new cause I know everypony in Ponyville and if you were new that means you didn't know anypony and if you didn't know anypony that means you didn't have any friends and that made me sad so I threw a party for you both and invited everypony in Ponyville but I saw Twilight first so the party is kind of for her but it can be for you too and now you both have lots and lots of friends!"

It took a moment for everything Pinkie said to sink in, but when it did Twilight and Lumen had very different responses. Twilight hung her head in annoyance while Lumen was overcome with joy.

"Really? I've never had that many friends before."

"Of course! Nopony should have to go around without any friends!" Pinkie shouted enthusiastically.

"Ah heard you already met Rainbow Dash and Rarity," started Applejack, "There's just one more pony I need to introduce you to. Lumen, meet Fluttershy."

"Hello Fluttershy. I'm Lumen."

"Hello," she almost whispered.

"Nice party, eh?"

"Were you doing something? I'll just let you get back to that."

"But I..." Lumen began, "Ok."

"Thank you," she said as she slid off to the side of the party.

I guesss there's nothing to do but party until the ceremony.

When the ceremony started Lumen settled down in the back. He had done enough socializing for one day. Fluttershy's bird choir started singing and the mayor began her introduction.

"And now, it is my great pleasure to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day. The good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria, Princess Celestia!"

Rarity opened the curtains on the balcony, and nopony was there. Something's wrong here. The princess wouldn't be a no-show. It didn't help matters when a dark blue mist formed into what looked like a dark version of Celestia.

"Oh my beloved subjects," the black mare began, "It's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun-loving faces."

"What did you do with our Princess?!" shouted Rainbow Dash before she took off after the mare.

"Whoa there nelly," said Applejack while grabbing Rainbow Dash's tail.

"Why? Am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?"

"Let me guess!" yelled Pinkie Pie, "Pokey Smokes? How about, Queen Meanie! No, Black Snooty! Black Snooty!"

Applejack shoved an apple into Pinkie's mouth. The evil princess started moving around the crowd, who were still paralyzed with fear.

"Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legends? Did you not see the signs?"

"I did! And I know who you are! You're the Mare in the Moon, Nightmare Moon!" Twilight took a step forward

"Well well well, it seems somepony remembers me.Then you also know why I'm here?" Nightmare Moon looked directly at Twilight.

"You're here to... to..."

"Mwahahahaha. Remember this day little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth the night will last forever!"

"Seize her!" shouted the mayor, "Only she knows where the princess is!"

Several royal guards charged at Nightmare Moon and were beaten with little effort. She turned back into a blue mist and flew out the door. Rainbow Dash broke free of Applejack's grip and flew after Nightmare Moon. Applejack ran over to where Lumen was sitting.

"Ah need you to calm everypony down while ah go see what Twilight knows about all this."

"But I.."

"No buts! Ah'm your boss, and you'll do as I say! Find a way to calm these ponies down!"

"Yes Ma'am" Lumen relented. He ran up to the stage and shouted, "EVERYPONY QUIET!"

The entire hall fell silent.

"I know you are all scared, but we can get through this! Right now..."

"Why should we trust you?!" shouted one pony.

"Yeah! You just came to town yesterday! How do we know that you aren't behind all this?!" accused another.

This is going nowhere quickly. I need to get somepony else to talk to them. Lumen looked around the hall. After a short search he finally found the pony he was looking for.

"Mayor Mare, I need you to calm everypony down."

"Why? There's no way anypony can beat Nightmare Moon!" said the mayor hysterically.

Lumen reached his breaking point. It's always like this. The ponies that look down on me do nothing when times get tough. I made a promise to my friend. I'll never give up. NEVER AGAIN! He brought his hoof across her face with a loud smack.

"You're the mayor damn it! Get it together and do your job!"

"Right right. But how can I get them calm?"

"Give them something to believe in. Give them hope," Lumen started walking towards the door, "Now if you'll excuse me, Twilight needs all the help she can get."

The ponies of Ponyville watched in shame and embarrassment as a blank flank walked out to do what they were too scared to do.

Nightmare Moon

It did't take long for Lumen to reach the library, but Twilight and Applejack weren't there anymore. They must have gone after Nightmare Moon. I need some kind of a clue as to where they went.

Lumen searched the library for clues, but the place was a mess. Books were scattered everywhere, and none of them seemed to be related to Nightmare Moon. On the table though was one solitary book. It was opened to a page talking about something called the Elements of Harmony in the Everfree Forest. Great.

The path into the Everfree Forest was very rough. Lumen almost couldn't follow it at some points. Not long after entering the forest he came across what looked like a landslide. Lumen found a way to the bottom, and found tracks leading deeper into the foliage. I hope they're alright. After running past a content looking manticore and some very creepy trees, Lumen came to a river crossing where a large purple serpent seemed to be dancing with joy.

"Excuse me. Have you seen any other ponies come this way?" Lumen asked the serpent.

"Why yes. Are they friends of yours?" he asked.

"Sort of. They're headed straight into danger, and I need to help them."

"OH! Then don't waste time talking to me!" the serpent straightened out his back, "Quick! Go across my back. Your friends went that way."

"Thank you" Lumen bolted across the serpent's back and galloped further into the Everfree Forest.

He kept running until he finally saw the girls. There was a thick fog around them, so he couldn't tell who was there.

"HEY! GIRLS!" Lumen shouted trying to get their attention.

"Lumen!?" Twilight called back.

"What in tar.. Ah thought ah told you to stay put." Applejack scolded Lumen when he reached the group.

"Actually, you told me to get everypony calm," Lumen began, "Nopony trusted me, so I had the mayor do it."

"He has a point," Twilight said to Applejack.

"Twilight. Who are those ruffians talking to Rainbow Dash?" Rarity nodded at a trio of pegasi.

"What!? RAINBOW! DON"T LISTEN TO THEM!" Twilight shouted, but the fog seemed to grow thicker and eat up the sound. The ponies waited to see what would happen.

Suddenly Rainbow Dash flew through the fog and revealed a bridge that Lumen hadn't noticed. The stallion and six mares started to cross.

"Good job Rainbow" Twilight congratulated the cyan pegasus.

"See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'," Rainbow Dash responded.

The castle they approached was old, and starting to crumble. Vines were crawling up the stonework. The combined effect of the age and the night light gave it an eerie feel. The group entered the castle, and saw five stones sitting on an altar in the center of the room.

"Come on Twilight, isn't this what you been waitin' for?" asked Applejack.

"The Elements of Harmony," Twilight was awestruck, "We found them!"

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy started removing the Elements from their pedestals. Pinkie eyed the Elements curiously and started counting.

"One two three four, there's only five."

"Where's the sixth?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"The book said 'when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth element to be revealed'," Twilight knelt down in front of the Elements.

"What in the hay is that supposed to mean?" Applejack asked, clearly frustrated.

"I'm not sure, but I have an idea," Twilight answered confidently, "Stand back. I don't know what will happen."

Twilight's horn started to glow as she focused on the stones in front of her. The group started to leave, but Lumen couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. He stayed right in the doorway watching the purple unicorn. His suspicions were confirmed when a dark blue mist surrounded the Elements.

"Twilight! Look out!" Lumen yelled as he charged toward her.

"The Elements!" Twilight yelled as she leapt into the blue vortex. Lumen had no choice but to go in after her.

When the room came into focus Lumen saw Nightmare Moon standing over the Elements of Harmony. We have to get to those to beat her. Twilight's our best bet. He looked over and saw Twilight was just coming to.

"Twilight," Lumen started, "I'm going distract her so you can get to the Elements."

"I can't let you do that. You can't defend yourself from her magic."

"I've come to far to give up now. I won't let her beat me." the determination in Lumen's eyes told her it was the truth.

"Alright, but don't do anything stupid."

"We are way past stupid right now Twilight." Lumen let out a light chuckle. He started walking to where Nightmare Moon was standing.

"You dare approach me?"

"You really piss me off." Lumen's voice was full of contempt.

"Do you know who I am?!" Nightmare Moon was clearly angry, "Do you know what I am capable of?!"

"I know exactly what you can do, and that's why you piss me off,"Lumen began to explain, "Princess of the night, with the power to raise the moon, and what do you do? You get jealous of you sister because ponies are awake during her daylight."

"They didn't give me the respect I deserved," Nightmare Moon was clearly angry.

"Oh boo hoo. Life must have been so hard with your subjects worshiping you just slightly less than you sister," Lumen said with an almost palpable mockery, "I've had to live my life as an almost constant pariah because of my flank! What gives you the right to claim hardships?!"

"You know nothing of my struggles!" Nightmare Moon was furious at this point.

"You're right. I don't, but that doesn't give you the right to subjugate all of Equestria because you didn't get along with your sister."

"You are a very infuriating peasant who will die painfully." Nightmare Moon was in Lumen's face.

"And you're a spoiled brat who forgot about the unicorn I had with me," Lumen said with a smug expression.

"What?!"

Twilight had finished charging the elements with her magic, and they were sparking at Nightmare Moon's hooves. The Elements gave a sharp discharge of energy and stopped almost as soon as they had started.

"Where's the sixth element?" Twilight asked in a panic.

Nightmare Moon smashed the Elements of Harmony. Lumen didn't know what could have gone wrong. Hel ooked at Nightmare Moon as she approached him.

"Before I kill you, there is one thing I must know," she demanded, "Where do you draw your strength from? How are you finding the courage to stand up to me?"

"I'm scared. More scared than I've ever been, but I refuse to back down. I refuse to lose to the likes of you."

"You refuse? I believe you've already lost."

"As long as ponies can love, WE WILL ALWAYS TRIUMPH OVER EVIL LIKE YOURS!"

There was a visible reaction in Nightmare Moon. Her stance became less aggressive, and the look in her eyes softened. Her demeanor and speech shifted as if she was a different mare.

"We said words very similar to those many years ago," Nightmare Moon looked at Lumen with tears in her eyes, "Have we truly fallen this far?"

Before he could answer her two creatures stormed into the room. They stood like diamond dogs, but had black and red scales all over their bodies. Their yellow teeth looked like razors, and the ends of their hands had long sharp claws. One of them stared at Lumen with piercing red eyes. One of them leapt at Nightmare Moon while the other ran after Twilight.

Lumen sprang into action and bucked the creature right in the face. It went flying, and hit the castle wall with a loud thud. Nightmare moon used her horn to pin the other one to a nearby pillar. Lumen heard the other mares coming up the stairs, and saw Twilight's eyes get big.

"We need to use the Elements!" she shouted.

"Art thou insane?" Nightmare Moon was struggling to keep her creature in place, "We destroyed them."

"You can't destroy the Elements of Harmony. Because the spirits Elements are right here!"

Lumen's opponent had gotten to his feet , and started charging him. He grabbed the creature's arm and pinned him by his friend.

"Applejack who reasured me when I..."

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS TWILIGHT! THIS THING ISN'T AS PATIENT A NIGHTMARE MOON WAS!"

"Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Loyalty, and lastly Magic! These are the Elements of Harmony!" Twilight summed up.

The shattered bits of the elements formed around the six mares, and a bright light started to shine.

"Use it!" shouted Lumen, "We'll hold them in place!"

"But," began Twilight.

"JUST DO IT!"

The six ponies began to float, and charge up a large amount of energy. A rainbow of energy shot out from a tiara on Twilight's head and struck the creatures, Nightmare Moon, and Lumen. When the energy hit, Lumen's world faded to black.

When he came to, there was an light blue pony standing over him. She was the prettiest pony he had ever seen.

"I guess Twilight killed me." said Lumen.

"Why is that?" asked the pony.

"Because I'm waking up next to an angel," came Lumen's smooth reply.

"No, we are not an angel," she said as she started to blush, "We are Princess Luna, who you have saved from the curse of Nightmare Moon."

"Wait so you were..."

Luna nodded her head.

"And I called you..."

Luna nodded once more.

"Well, this is awkward."

"It was your courage and strength of will that made us see what we had become, and we thank you for that."

Lumen sat up and looked around. They were still in the castle, and he could see two black smears on the wall.

"What happened to them?"Lumen asked.

"They didn't have enough good in them to survive a purge," came a voice from behind Lumen. He turned around and saw Princess Celestia.

"Princess!" Lumen was incredibly surprised and tried to bow, but when he did a sharp pain shot up his torso.

"It's alright, you don't need to bow," Celestia walked closer to him, "In fact, I owe you a debt of gratitude."

"Why is that?"

"You saved my sister in a way that I never could," Celestia lowered her head, You are a true hero."

"Excuse me Princess," Twilight interrupted, "We really need to get him to the hospital to get checked out."

"Of course. I will carry him back," Celestia began to pick Lumen up when Luna stopped her.

"He is our savior, We would like to ensure his safe passage to the hospital."

Lumen felt a warm and gentle magic pick him up and set him on Luna's back. She wrapped her wings around him to hold him in place. In her embrace, Lumen drifted off to sleep.

Prologue

Year 1374 of the Celestial Calendar

The ship rocked under the sudden barrage from enemy vessels. The crew was scrambling to fire back, and keep their ship together. A powerful pegasus with a commanding presence kept his composure amidst the chaos.

"I want as much power into starboard shields as possible!" he bellowed, "We give them everything we've got! This is it everypony! We protect the station or DIE TRYING!!"

The orders were met with swift action and the tide of the battle was turned in their favor. Captain Rainbow Bolt breathed a sigh of relief as he watched the enemy ship explode. How many times will we have to do this? How much longer can we hold out?

That was the third attack that day. If it kept up like this, the science station they were trying to protect was sure to be destroyed. Bolt turned his head to look at the space station he had risked so much to protect. You better know what you're doing, Egghead.