Switch

by TenshuraX

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human
Length: 2730

a delinquent by any definition runs into a certain draquenis.

This is a HIE story, not a self-insert. the 'black-haired devil' or robert evans was always violent and irrational, and has always had really bad luck. until one day he meets a certain draquenis.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-06 17:55:51 UTC

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A/N words are power, power is greatness. the greater your words the greater you become.

I blearily opened one eye, seeing the smiling poster stuck to my ceiling and I smiled, more out of habit than actual feeling. I reached towards the poster, knowing that it's out of reach but trying anyways. My smile dissapeared when i didn't even get halfway. i just let my arm fall to my side. I started thinking, not really about anything in particular, just thinking, but my thoughts were interrupted by an incredibly annoying high-pitched squeal from my alarm clock. i really regret making that damn alarm i thought in annoyance as i slammed my hand down on the snooze button and closed my eyes again, trying to resume my thoughts, and, having no success, i eventually sat up. My room Waals sparsely decorated, and somewhat bland, but the decorations i did have at least coincided with my interests.

"i need to get a new alarm clock, the mix of pig and scorpion is just to annoying." I got out of bed and stretched. I took in the bank purple of my room and the few posters, all in states of disrepair from a mix of wear and accidents. I just closed my eyes and tried to savor the last moments of my dream, right before the alarm clock decided to interrupt m once again. i smacked the alarm and it miraculously shut off. I ground one knuckle into my temple, the beginnings of a headache already forming.

"I'm going to kill whoever invented that damn thing" I groaned in pain as my headache developed further, making me want to just lay don and restart the entire day. Then i looked at the time

"CRAP, I'M GONNA BE LATE!" I bolted out of my room, my headache forgotten, and grabbed my bag from the kitchen table. I rushed to the stairwell and slipped

"OH FU" i didn't get to finish as i was thrown down a flight of stairs before slamming into the ground. Groaning in pain I got up, and put a hand on my back.

"that's gonna leave a mark" I straightened my back with a slight cracking noise, accompanied with more pain before shuffling over to my car.

"are you kidding me" i deadpanned. There was a broken window and glass all over the driver-side seat.

"greeeeeeeeat," i said sarcastically "just what i needed. I brushed the glass off the seat and started to back up, before screeching to a halt as some maniac pulled out of the lot top-speed and almost hit me.

"i can tell this WON'T be a good day" I pulled out of the lot and started driving. Before long the telltale siren told me i was being pulled over. With another pained groan i pulled over and waited. A chunky policeman looked into my broken window and said

"sir, you are aware having a broken taillight is against the law, correct?"

"yes," i replied, trying to keep the malice out of my voice "but i need to drive the car in order to get it fixed"

"yes, but you're still driving with one taillight" my eye twitched.

"yes, but i can't change that unless i drive this car to get it fixed, plus my window is open so i can use manual signals" He nodded and I sighed.

"okay, but don't let me catch you driving with only one again, you only get one warning"

"fine, thank you officer" He walked;ked back to his car and drove off, i followed, and eventually got to school, well, it was called a school, but i imagined it more as a time-bomb of hormones and frustration. I walked into class late, the teacher, an elderly man with like 8 hairs, all white and a yellow plaid shirt.

"your late Mr.Evans" he said in a monotone

"yes, sorry Professor Gregors"

"take your seat" he said in the exact same monotone, i was wondering if he could speak with any emotion other than boredom. I went to my seat and sat down, slouching and staring at the wood of my desk. I heard a few sniggers, but a quick glare shut them up. A few of the boys were looking at a magazine, and i knew somehow I'm going to end up with the blame for this aren't i. They got louder, looking a the magazine, not paying any attention, though i didn't exactly see anyone at all paying any attention.

"now then, flip to pages 656-666" i rolled my eyes and opened the book, flipping to page 666 and closing my eyes, thinking.

"OH PROFESSOR GREGOR?" an annoying high-pitched voice interrupted my thoughts

"yes?"

"Robby's reading something naughty" i didn't even bother opening my eyes, i knew that some moron had snuck the porn mag right into my book. He walked over, i swear i could hear his bones protesting.

"Mr.Evans, you will stay after class and help clean out the classroom" then i stated snoring, causing more than a few giggles, and not the unnoticable breathy snores that you sometimes hear, no I'm talking earth-shaking snores.

"Mister Evans" the anger was evident in his pitch and the way he was tapping his foot

"hey, you finally spoke with emotion, now try using something other than anger" a sudden pain at the top of my head caused my eyes to snap open, he was standing over me with a ruler in hand

"OW, what the heck was that for?!"

"you will be staying behind all WEEK cleaning up, any more wisecracks and it'll be 2" he grabbed the magazine and walked back over to his deck" I yawned, and just sat there, bored for the rest of the class, thanking the heavens when the bell finally rang. I hopped out of my seat and started towards the door when i was interrupted by a certain elderly teacher clearing his throat noisily

"oh right" I slumped back in my seat "what was it i needed to do again?"

"clean the classroom, i don't want you leaving until it's completely spotless \" i gave a sloppy mock salute

"sir, yes sir" I smirked

"just get it done Evans" i shrugged and looked around. There actually wasn't much cleaning to do. I cleaned and started walking out.

"and just where do you think YOU'RE going?"

"well I'm done, and you said that when I'm done i can go"

"hmm, i guess your free to go then" I sighed with relief as i walked out. The wind was building, i could tell, my long black hair whipped into my eyes, and it was annoying, but i REFUSE to cut my hair, i like it long. I got back in my car and drove to an auto-repair shop

"yep, that's one busted turn light"

"i can tell that but how much is it going to cost to fix is my question"

"hows about 150"

"and how much would it cost YOU for a trip to the hospital for a broken jaw?" he raised his arms in a gesture of mock-surrender

"fine fine, I'll go as low as 100"

"good, have it done soon, I'm going for a walk to clear my head" i tossed him a 50 and opened the door, walking out. I closed my eyes and felt the wind on my face. it was calming.

"who's' there?" i opened my eyes and looked around. after a while of seeing noone i sighed again "i could have sworn... whatever" i started walking. the forest was lush and green, the soft melody of a running brook and the gentle chirping of the birds seemed to wash away all my troubles. I heard it again, it sounded like... hoofs

"hello?!" i looked around quickly, and the sound was still there, along with another, laughing.

"is someone there???" the sounds kept getting louder and louder, like they were moving, and towards me, quickly "what the" and then a large white thing launched out of the underbrush and ran into me, i could have sworn that i heard a rib crack as i was thrown to the ground "OOF" I grunted, trying to escape the white weight when i felt something wet on my legs and pants.

"wait, what?" i managed to get one leg free and my fears were confirmed, blood. The laughter burst into the clearing in the form of an odd mish-mash of creatures, it's snaggletoothed grin immediately got on my nerves

"YOU, DID YOU DO THIS?" i yelled at it

"well of course, who did you think it would have been? the easter bunny? he started laughing out loud again right before i punched him in the jaw.

"OW!"

"yeah, now you know a BIT of the pain you've inflicted" I cracked my knuckles and scowled at the thing

"ohohohohohoho, do you really think the same trick will work twice?"

"nope" i said as i kicked him in the gonads "that's why i don't USE the same trick twice" It keeled over in pain

"ooh, cheap, shot"

"yeah, your point being?" i punched the side of it's lowered head and it staggered

"OW!" In th background the white thing stirred, i noticed, he didn't "that really hurts"

"well then, it's about to get a lot worse" i said as i grabbed him by the beard and yanked his head down to my height "and when i say worse,  i MEAN it"

"well now, that's a bit violent, wouldn't you say?"

"perhaps, but it tends to be effective" I punched him in the gut

"OKAY, enough with the wimpy act" he was suddenly on the other side of a ring that appeared out of nowhere, wearing boxing gloves and shorts and doing a somewhat comical imitation of a boxer, bouncing around and flailing his gloved fists. I looked around, confused at the sudden boxing ring

"well now, that's weird" he rushed forward and did a surprisingly good right hook to my face

"OW, fucker!" i got up, spitting out a bit of blood. i noticed the white thing completely up, and it was weird, a white horse with a horn suck to it's head and wings.

"you know what? I'm getting bored of you" he said as the boxing ring dissapeared "OH i know" he grinned at me oddly "I'll do something to you that you'd never expect" as he spoke a beam of darkness shot out of his chest and stabbed into my chest, the pain was like swallowing a thousand thumbtacks then washing it down with lemon juice, twice.

"AAAAAAAAAAH! FUCK THIS HURTS!" my vision was getting blurry, and i was barely standing, but i managed to stumble forward a couple of steps before collapsing, wheezing. He started laughing again

"HAHAHAHAHA! no NOONE can stop me! not even celes" he froze, and slowly turned towards the horse who's horn was, oddly enough, glowing white "oh dear" he said before a BRIGHT flash of light engulfed us both and i blacked out.

Chapter 2

I groaned in pain as a dull ache swept over my body. I opened one eye tentatively, expecting to see my normal poster, but seeing instead a tree.

"what happened?" when I spoke i heard a different voice speaking instead of mine. it was deeper, and a bit more gruff than mine, and it made me wonder, what the hell happened last night. I lifted one hoof towards the tree and... wait... hold up... hoof?! I jumped to my feet and stared as I realized i didn't have hands anymore, but instead, hoofs

"okay okay okay, this.,.. this is just some weird dream, yeah, i'll wake up soon and go to school again, just like any other day" i heard a rustling in the bushes behind me and spun around to face it. the squirrel was a bit surprised, but undeterred in it's quest for a nut that was on the ground.

"just a squirrel" i exhaled, then i noticed something, the squirrel was limping quite badly, and it looked like one of it's legs was broken

"huh, poor little guy... he probably fell out of his tree..." i walked... er... trotted over and got a closer look at the squirrel, it's leg was definitely broken, but it was still going after a nut.

"... jees" I sighed and picked up both the nut and the squirrel, setting them one at a time on my back "just hold on, i'll find someplace to help you" 'why am i even doing this??? it's just a squirrel for crying out loud'  I trotted off with the squirrel sitting contently on my back. I trotted towards an area that happened to have smoke rising from it,which i figured was my best bet to finding civilization.

I walked into a town, filled with colorful ponies, all different colors and sizes. I got a couple of odd stares, but none lasted very long. And then all hell broke loose

"HEY!" a pink pony that seemed to pop out of nowhere yelled "ihaven'tseenyoubeforeandifihaven'tseenyoubeforeyoumustbenewcuziknoweveryponyintownandimeanEVERYPONY"

"o...kay" was my extremely intelligent responce

"OOH, isthatasquirrel? such a cuuuute little squirrel, why is he on your back anyways?" the pink pony suddenly stopped and gasped loudly, her entire body rising off the ground and hanging there for a few seconds before she rocketed off.

"... what just happened?" i said to noone in particular.

"that was pinkie pie" a purple pony said in a matter of factly tone, then i noticed something, she had a horn coming out of her forehead

"uhh... hi"

"oh, hello, i am twilight sparkle"

"well nice to meet you twilight, my name is Robert"

"well that's an odd name"

"not really" i shrugged "not where i come from at least"

"and where DO you come from anyways?" 'i can't really go blabbing that i'm from another world, i think that several of thgese ponies would freak out and i kinda want to fit in, at least until i am able to go back'

"i don't really remember"

She gave a slightly confused look, but shrugged it off "okay, so why are you here in ponyville?"

"i don't know, i just sorta wandered in" about that time the squirrel climbed up on top of my head and decided to watch\

"you wandered in? well that's interesting... and is that a squirrel on your head?"

"yes, yes it is, i found this guy on the forest floor with a broken leg, and i was goping there'd be someplace where i could help him, and i would have asked the pink bouncing mass of energy, but... well, you know"

"Well i know somepony that could definitely help, but she's near the edge of the everfree forest and it's a while to walk alone, maybe i could go with you?"

"well that'd be okay i guess" i said blushing, i didn't know why, but being around twilight kinda made me nervous, maybe it was the way she spoke, so sure of every word before it left her mouth.

"great, let's go" and she started walking back in roughly the direction i'd come from. I followed, the squirrel on my head quite content with it's perch.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

After a while of walking we found ourselfs at a small cottage, the cottage may have been small, but there was all kinds of sounds emerging from it. Twilight knocked on the door

"fluttershy? are you there?" i heard a slight shuffling as the door was opened a crack

"twilight? is that you?" the voice was gentle and soft, it's tone conveyed only caring and kindness

"yes, and there's another pony here with an animal that he needs your help with"

"oh my... i'll be right out" she closed the door again and seemed to have a small private discussion. she emerged once again from her hut and looked at me and the squirrel perched on my head. She smiled and laughed a little at the somewhat awkward position of the squirrel.

"yeah... anyways this little guy," i motioned to the squirrel on my head "got a broken leg, so i picked him up and carried him here, and i think he likes he view from ontop of my head" Fluttershy smiled.

"well that was very kind of you... uhh"

"Robert," i said, extending one hoof "my name is Robert"