Weapon EqueXtria

by Star-Killer89

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3036

A crossover with the Marvel Universe.

The main six had always proven to be out of the ordinary ponies: tougher, more agile, possessing strength beyond expectations and defying even the toughest of challenges.
But someone had just discovered where these abilities really come from. And they're going to pay Equestria a visit.

This is a crossover with the Marvel Universe. I hope you will enjoy it.

Published 2012-11-09 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-09 19:40:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Written by: Star-Killer89. Proof-reading and Editing by: LunaLover

PONYVILLE - FLUTTERSHY’S COTTAGE

“Thanks again for helping me carry in the bags Rainbow. I couldn’t have possibly brought them all back home without your help.”

“There’s no need to thank me, Fluttershy. I still owned you one for helping us refilling Clousdale’s rainwater supply.”

It was another sunny day in Ponyville. The two pegasi had spent half the morning at the Ponyville market to restock Fluttershy’s feed for all the animals she was taking care of. At the moment, they were headed back to Fluttershy’s Cottage.

“Look Fluttershy!” Said Rainbow “You’ve got mail.”

Fluttershy looked at her mailbox, and noticed the little red flag raised up. Inside, there was a blue envelope “It’s from Cloudsdale Flight School.”

She opened the letter and gave a quick read at its contents; her expression rapidly changed from an extremely joyous one to a really concerned one.

“So? What does it says?” Asked Rainbow Dash, leaning her head over Fluttershy’s shoulder to look at the letter.

“Uhm….nothing important.” Quickly, replied Fluttershy, hiding the letter to her friend’s sight. “It seems like….uhm…they were trying to ask for donations to…ehr…replace the old sprinkler system of the main building.”

“The old sprinkler system?” Questioned a doubtful Rainbow Dash with a half raised brow.

“Yep, that’s it.” Replied Fluttershy with a fake smile on the face.

Rainbow kept focusing on Fluttershy, who, on the other hoof, was trying her best not to look directly at her friend’s eyes “Fluttershy, what does that letter really says?”

“I-I don’t get it.” Replied a worried Fluttershy “W-why do you possibly think I would have lied about that?”

“Because the Flight School was made of pure solid clouds.” Replied the cerulean Pegasus with a hint of annoyance on the last two words. “I assume is quite unlikely for clouds to catch on fire. Besides, I still clearly remember that lecture we took in the auditorium about the “Safety procedures to implement in case of emergencies”. Since the clouds they used to build the schoolhouse were made of cumulonimbi, they told us that a powerful kick to one of the walls was enough to make rain fall from the roof. Thus, none of the buildings ever had a sprinkler system.”

Fluttershy gulped nervously “Y-you remember all that after all this years?”

“Yup, because on that occasion the speaker was Spitfire.” Replied a proud Rainbow Dash ”So I’m going to ask you again.” She then added, approaching Fluttershy, until their noses almost touched, her eyes peering deeply into the large oval pupils as if to see into her soul. “What does that letter from Flight School really says?”

Fluttershy tried to avert her gaze, but after a feeble struggle, she sighed in defeat “It’s an invitation to a class reunion for the next week.”

Rainbow was a little surprised by the answer “And?” She kept asking, crossing her arms and keeping her stare focused on her friend.

“And they also wanted me to take a little speech…You know, for the fact that I’m the new Element of Kindness.”

“Aaaaaand…?” Asked Rainbow once again.

“That’s it.” Replied Fluttershy.

“So, why did you feel the need to lie to me?” She then asked with an annoyed tone.

“Because I didn’t know how you could react.” The shy pegasus replied in a guilt tone, her ears sagging on the sides and a sad look in her eyes “I mean, you… dropped out of Flight School before graduation…”

“Kicked out Fluttershy.” Corrected her Rainbow with a small smile on her face “I was kicked out of Flight School… and you thought I couldn’t bear to know they were going to make a reunion without inviting me, am I right?”

Fluttershy looked shamefully at the ground “I’m sorry Rainbow; I should have told you the truth right away.”

“It’s okay Fluttershy.” Said Rainbow, putting her hoof on her friend’s shoulder “You were concerned about my feelings, so you don’t need to apologize.”

Fluttershy smiled back and briefly hugged her “Thank you, Rainbow.” After a couple of seconds of silent thought she piped up. “So, will you get mad if I’ll attend the reunion without you?”

“Of course not.” Replied Rainbow Dash “Although, I’d really like to see the faces of Dumb Bell, Hoops and Score when they will see you on the stand taking that speech.” She said, with a big grin on her face “I believe they will bitterly regret picking on you for all those years.”

At these words, they both started to laugh out loud.

Suddenly, they were interrupted by Fluttershy’s animals, which started to scream loudly, all at the same time, dashing towards their caretaker in fear.

“Oh my goodness, what’s wrong guys? What has frightened you so much?” Fluttershy hoarded the animals into her hooves for comfort from the mysterious disturbance.

CAROUSEL BOUTIQUE

“Hold still a little longer dear.” Said Rarity, orange glasses on her face, a couple of needles levitating around her and face a few inches from a dress Twilight was trying on “Just a dozen more stitches and we’re done.”

Twilight slightly sighed in reply “I wish sometimes I didn’t have the same frame as Pinkie.” She then smiled. “But I must say you have really outdone yourself this time Rarity. Pinkie will absolutely love this dress.”

“Thank you very much, darling. I sure hope so.”

After a couple of minutes of silence, Rarity shyly said. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“You see, next month I’ll have to take a little trip to Canterlot.” Started Rarity, while putting another couple of stitches to the dress “I’ll try to expand my business and my name promoting some of my latest models to Canterlot’s finest and most fashionable boutiques...”

“That’s a great idea Rarity. I’m sure your dresses will sell like crazy.” Happily replied Twilight, as she turned her head towards her friend.

“Hold still please…Thanks for your support Twilight, but this is where the hard part comes.” She then continued, while taking the last measurements of the dress “You see, in order to cope with the shipping costs of my dresses, I wouldn’t have enough money to afford a decent hotel to stay for the night.” She started to turn over her hooves in discomfort “So…I was wondering… obviously if you are not in any trouble… if you could…well…”

“Ask Princess Celestia if you can accommodate yourself again at the royal palace?” Asked Twilight with a little smirk on her face.

“Only if it is possible.” Rarity replied with a guilty tone, putting one hoof on her chest and the other towards the lavender unicorn “I wouldn’t like to abuse too much of your kindness nor the Princess’ helpfulness.”

Twilight giggled in reply “Don’t worry, I’m sure the Princess will be more than happy to host you a second time.”

“Oh, thank you so much Twilight!” Said Rarity, as she stretched to embrace her friend.
“OUCH!” Yelled off-hoof Twilight “You pricked me!”

“Whoops, I’m terribly sorry.” Apologized Rarity, as she resumed sewing. After a while she took her glasses off, took a couple steps back and looked at her creation. “Ok, I think I’ve finished. You can take off the dress darling…Gently, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, thank Celestia!” said Twilight as she stepped off the little round stand she stood still for the last hour and half, starting to get herself undress once again “A little longer and my knees would give way.”

Rarity smiled, as began to put away her sewing tools “If it can be of any consolation, you've proven to be a better mannequin than Rain- OWWW!” She then screamed off-hoof, slightly starting.

“What happened? Did you prick yourself too?” Ironically asked Twilight.

“No…I just had a fleeting headache…” replied the white unicorn holding her head “but it was painful…. Like somepony had stuck a needle in my br- AAAAAAARGH!”

Rarity fell on the floor, writhing in pain and screaming loudly.

“Rarity! What’s wrong?” Anxiously asked Twilight, as she approached her suffering friend “Are yo- Ugh!”

Twilight had to stop in mid-sentence, grinding her teeth in a grimace of pain, as she started to feel the same pain in the head experienced by her friend a mere moments before.

She was now bent on her knees, trying to fight back whatever was causing her and Rarity that kind of suffering.
Suddenly, from one of the obscure points of the room, a shadow began to move closer to the two unicorns.

SWEET APPLE ACRES

“And that’s the last basket of apples, Pinkie.” Said Applejack, as she emptied the last load of apples in the cart pulled by her friend.

“Thank you very much Applejack.” Said the pink earth pony “I think Mr. and Ms. Cake will now have enough apples for their sweets for the whole month.”

“Are ya sure you’ll be able to pull that cart all by yerself to Sugar Cube Corner?” Asked a concerned Applejack, looking at the mountain of apples protruding from the cart, on the bridge to overflow “Ah think we may have overdone it.”

“Don’t you worry your little head, AJ.” Replied Pinkie, patting her friend’s head fondly “I may not have the same strength you have developed through years of hard work on the farm…” she kept saying, as she was getting ready to pull ”…but I believe I’ll be perfectly abl-“
*KRICK*

In the exact moment she started to pull the cart, a loud noise came from her back, and Pinkie stood on the spot.
“Maaaaaaaaaybe I’ve a little overestimated my skills.” She said while holding her back in pain.

Applejack giggled. “Ya want me to give yer a hoof, sugarcube?”

“Okay… but just because you offered to help me...” grumbled Pinkie, as she slowly and carefully slid out from under the yoke, changing her place with Applejack “…not because I was not able to do it myself.”

“I never doubted that.” replied Applejack ironically.

On the way to Sugar Cube Corner, Applejack asked “So, are ya already planning another party for the twins?”

“Sadly no. Ms. Cake forbade me to organize them other parties until they will be at least one year old.” Replied Pinkie with a slight tone of sadness, which was almost immediately replaced by a cheerful one, directly followed by her usual habit of hopping instead of simply walking “But when the time will come, I’ll throw a party so big that will compensate all the skipped ones.”

They both began to laugh as they continued to advance.

As they were just half way to the town, they could hear a faint voice singing in the distance.

“Somepony’s approaching us.” Said Applejack.
“And he seems happy too.” Stated Pinkie “What is he saying?”

Swiftly, from the horizon began to glimpse the figure of a strange creature, like the two earth ponies had never seen before; they saw he was walking on his hind legs, dressed from head to hooves in a black and white uniform, with a pair of cases around his waist and one around his left shoulder, and two katanas hilt on his back.

The only shades of color in his clothing was given by the fabric around his eyes, colored of a dark blood-red, and by two badges, one on his belt and the other on the case around his shoulder, both shaped like a black X on a red background.

The strange creature was nodding in their direction, joyfully singing:
“-ittle Ponyyyyy, My Little Ponyyyyy…"
*Ah Ah Ah Aaaaaaah"
*My Little Ponyyy…*
“I used to wonder what amusement could be.”
*My Little Ponyyyy*
“Until you slaughter some ponies with me.”
*Big killings,*
*Tons of fun,*
*Your beautiful heart…*
*…throbbing in my hand *
*Slicing ponies…*
…It’s an easy feat,*
*and blood makes it al compleeeeeeee-“

“WHAT IN TARNATION…?” Yelled a half concerned and half scared Applejack.

Hearing Applejack, the strange creature stopped singing and concentrated his look on the two earth ponies; when his eyes fell on Pinkie, he squealed in joy, and started to jump in excitement on his spot.

“OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod! I can’t believe it! I’ve been in Equestria for less than a day, and I’ve already met my favourite pony!” The strange creature wore a smile so big it could be seen through the mask.
*Awesome, dude.*
*Yeah, I mean, what were the odds?*

However, when his look fell on the farm pony, he immediately stopped and his expression changed into a bored one “Oh no. There’s Applejack too.”
*Oh come on, not Applejack!*
*Didn’t she had some Moonshine to illegally distill or a brother to make out with?*
*Man, that was unnecessarily racist. Even for us. Besides, I don’t think you can distill Moonshine in broad daylight.*
*Why not?*
*’Cause It won’t be called MOONshine anymo-*
“Will you voices shut the hell up? I can’t understand what they’re saying.”

“Ah said who the hay are ya….or rather, what the hay are ya?” asked Applejack, as she was wearing the most intimidating expression she was able to exhibit, while Pinkie was just looking at the newcomer with a quizzical expression.

“Oh yeah yeah sure. Where are my manners?” replied the creature, patting his head.
*I think we’ve left them in the other spandex costume.*

He drew a piece of paper from his pockets, took a fake pair of reading glasses on his nose (a task he was perfectly able to perform, despite the fact the mask he was wearing didn’t allow any grip on his face to the lecture device), slightly coughed and started to recite “Greetings, ponies from the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic…”

*Do you realize that maybe they don’t even know they’re just fictional characters of a fanfiction based on the fictional characters of a show for little girls?*
*Hey, I thought we were allowed to break just one 4th wall at a time.*
*Ok, fine… Do you realize that maybe they don’t even know they’re just fictional characters of a fanfiction based on the fictional characters of a show for little girls? There, are you happy?*

“I am a human, and a member of a secret team of killers whose task is to solve thorny problems for the mutant race in the most lethal way possible, name-“

“A hoo-man?” asked an even more confused Applejack, tilting her head on one side and rising an eyebrow.

*Stupid country pony… And there’re still people asking why she’s considered the least loved background character of the show.*
“Ugh, the point is…” he continued, tossing both the piece of paper and the glasses in the air “…that I’m a human, a bipedal primate, coming from a universe different from yours….”

He then drew out a pair of Spectre M4 machine guns from the cases around his waist “…And I was just looking for you two!”

CAROUSEL BOUTIQUE

The figure of an Asian woman, with long dark-purple hair, a black suit that left much more exposed skin than it covered and a belt of white cloth with a X-shaped red buckle, was now standing in front of the two unicorns. A butterfly-like image, pulsating with an intense violet light, was covering her whole face.

“What are you doing to us?” yelled Rarity, as she was still rolling on the floor in agony.

“Just using a little Psionic Blast so that you won’t make any rash moves.” Said the woman calmly as she bent on her knee to take a closer look at the two ponies “Don’t worry though, it just makes your brain believe your body is undergoing physical pain. If I wanted you dead I would have simply shut down your minds.”

“What do you want then?” Asked Twilight, grinding her teeth in pain.

“Just asking you a question.” Replied the woman as she stood between the two.

FLUTTERSHY’S COTTAGE

“Calm down guys.” Fluttershy tried to comfort her animals in vain. “I can’t understand what you’re saying.”

Even her pet Angel, who always bossed her around, acting like he was the real master of the two, was now frantically jumping in front of the two pegasi’s hooves, trying to push them both inside the cottage.

“What is wrong with them?” asked a concerned Rainbow.

“I don’t know, it’s like something has scared them.”

As they both turned their eyes in the direction from which the animals came, their doubts were mitigated.

At a short distance was standing a man, quite short even for one of his own race, but with an appearance and posture which made him look more like a wild beast than a human.

Just like his two team-mates, he was wearing a black and white uniform, with the fabric around his eyes of a blood red color and a black X mark on a red background as buckle.

Fluttershy immediately started to shake in fear, while Rainbow automatically interposed herself between her friend and the unknown threat, raising her wing in front of Fluttershy to better protect her.

“Who are you and what do you want from us?” Asked Rainbow in a threatening tone.

“I’m the one asking the questions here, bub.” Replied the man without flinching “And for your own safety, you’d better answer me.”

Suddenly, three metallic claws came out from the back of both his hands, making the sound of a knife scraping rocks. “Now, which one of you is Weapon XX?” Asked them Wolverine.

“Just tell me which one of you unicorns is Weapon XXI and I will let the other one go.” Said Psylocke, as she formed a psyonic blade around her right arm.

“We can do this the easy way or the fun way.” Stated Deadpool.
*Uuuuuuh, I like the fun way much more.* Added the first voice in his head.
*Me too.* Quoted the second one.
“Anyway, Wolverine told me to try asking you nicely first.” He continued, as he pointed the two machineguns towards the two ponies “So, which one of you multicolored happy equines is supposed to be Weapon XXII?”

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2

A/N: I regret nothing! I just hope you had fun reading this first chapter of this silly story I came up with. XD