First Story Data's and Worf's first run with the Trotting "Q" Dead
View Online
The Random Collection of Stories that is Funny
First Story Data's and Worf's first run with the Trotting "Q" Dead
First Story Data's and Worf's first run with the Trotting "Q" Dead
The day started out just as normal on the USS Enterprise. Data was walking to the halo deck where he was going to learn about 21st century entertainment about zombies. Data was quite excited to learn about that interesting idea. In fact he had finished his day’s work early so that he could go to the halo deck.
Data raced through the corridors, down the elevator, and pass Worf. Data stopped and back tracked to Worf. Data then said “Hey Worf would you like to come with me to the halo deck.
” Worf said back in his usual grumpy voice “What are you doing.”
Data replied “I am going to fight a species called a zombie.” “It was quite popular to kill them in the 21st century.”
Worf rubbed his neck and said “I do not know.”
Data cut him off and said “it is like killing fish in a barrel.”
Worf ravished the idea and followed Data to the halo deck. They were 10 meters away when they were stopped by the captain.
Picard said to them “What are you doing Data and Worf.”
Data and Worf saluted Picard and said “Sir we are going to the halo deck to see what a zombie is like.”
Picard nodded off and let them continue to their destination.
When they reached the halo deck Data walked up to the door and said “Computer run program ahpha-9345-2012.”
The computer responded “Program has been loaded.”
Data stepped through the door and he said to the computer “computer spawn one zombie.”
The computer said “specify which zombies.”
Data stood there for a second before responding to the computer “Spawn one The Walking Dead zombie.” a gruesome figure appeared in front of them and started growling at them
. Worf call to the computer “bat’leth please.” The weapon spawned in his hand and Worf got to work as the zombie charged at him at its shuffling rate. Worf did a battle cry as he brought his weapon into the zombies head. The zombie cried out for a second before falling off the main body.
Worf wiped off the blood from his weapon and turned to Data. He said to Data “Is that the best that they can do.”
Data shook his head and said “Their real power is in their numbers.” “Computer spawn same zombies, this time ten of them.” This time ten figures appeared in front of them.
Worf charged them and brought down his weapon onto the first of the group. Then Worf proceeded to slash and hack the rest of the zombies. Then fell one by one until they were all dead, but the zombies managed to get a couple hits on Worf. Worf had a smug look on his face but Data did not let up.
This time 15 were summoned. Worf started hacking and slashing the zombies. Worf had killed 14 of them but one of them was able to land a bite into Worf’s right arm. Worf killed that zombie and cringed at the pain the bite was creating. Data spoke “Computer remove bite from Worf.” The bite faded away and Worf stood up.
Data said to Worf “They spread the disease through a bite like you had.” Worf was very angry with the zombies. Then there was a flash of light.
Data and Worf covered their eyes and waited for the light to go down. When the light had faded Worf and Data were surprised to see what was in front of them. It was Q.
Worf started growling and Data said “What are you doing here Q I thought that you were banned from the Enterprise,”
Q had a smug look on his face as he said “I am here for some interesting experiments.” Q snapped his fingers and the halo room changed to a village. The houses were quite colorful and they could see a giant stone wall.
Q then said “Let’s see how long you can survive THE PONIES.” Q snapped his fingers and he was gone in a flash of light.
Worf and Data survey to area. Data pulled out a Tricorder and started scanning the area. Worf pulled out a Phaser and scanned the town with his eyes.
Data said “Worf we are not on the enterprise we are approximately 300 K light years from the Enterprise.”
Worf looked at Data with disbelief, but then they heard air raid horns. Worf covered his ears and yelled “what is going on?”
Data said in his monotone voice “I think that whoever is here wants to warn the rest of something.”
Worf turned around and said “I think they were warning them about us.”
Data was turning around and talking “What makes you say… oh them.”
Data and Worf were staring into the eyes of over 100 mobsters.
Worf said “oh krap… RUN.” Data followed after Worf as they ran away from the pony mob. The mob was catching up to them to them. Worf and Data climbed up the stairs onto the wall. The mob followed suit.
The ponies surrounded them and said “Surrender and we will take you to our dungeon.” Worf and Data looked at each other and at them. Worf then said “Not going to happen.” Worf grabbed onto Data’s chest and jumped off of the wall.
Meanwhile on the Enterprise
Crew woman Mary was walking to the halo deck to act out hamlet when she saw a flash of light appear in front of her. The light died down and Q was in front of her. She tapped her com badge and said “get me the captain.”
The captain’s quarters
Picard was reading Romeo and Juliet when his com badge started to beep. Picard sighed and tapped it. He said “Yes what is it.”
She replied “Sir its Q” As soon as she had said those words he jumped up and dropped his book.
He yelled “Where is he?”
Q got onto the com badge and said “Picard you should lower your voice, no need to yell.”
Picard’s anger started to flow as he said “where are you Q?”
Q said “behind you Picard.”
Picard turned around and he saw the crewwomen and Q standing next to the halo deck. Picard talked to Q in a harsh voice “What are you doing here and what do you want?”
Q smiled and said “Ask your computer where are Worf and Data.”
Picard tapped his com badge and said “Computer where are Worf and Data?”
The computer said back “Data and Worf are 300K light years away from the Enterprise in the beta sector.” Q started laughing and chuckling out loud.
Picard pissed off said “Q BRING MY CREW MEN BACK.”
Q said back in a calm voice “Not yet Picard they need to learn a bit but till then…” Q snapped his fingers and they were in 10 forward.
They were sitting on by a table “Join me in a little game of 3D chess.” Picard sat there and started playing with Q.
Meanwhile Worf and Data had survived the landing and ran into the nearby forest. Worf had killed a bear that had tried to eat Data.
Here is the now time. Worf perked up a bit. He was acting like a deer when a predator is nearby. Then suddenly a zombie pony jumped out of nowhere where and started attacking Worf. Data jumped up and shot the Phaser at the zombie. The zombie disintegrated into a fine dust. Worf was sputtering and hacking.
Then ponies jumped onto both of them and injected needles into them. Worf fell down with a big thud while Data was none affected. He threw the ponies off of him and started to pick up Worf when he was hit in the back of his head.
The last thing before Data shut down was a zebra.
They both woke up in a dungeon cell. They both got up and walked around. The only other occupant was a unicorn with a purple mane and purple fur.
She was shackled to the wall. Worf and Data walked up to her. Data kneeled down and asked “What are you doing here and what your name is?”
The purple pony stirred and said in a weak voice “My name is Twilight and I am here because I started the plague.” Worf and Data looked at each other and grabbed the chains. They pulled with all their might and they pulled the chains from the walls.
She got up and said in a weak voice “Thank you I need some water.” Data looked over to his side and spotted a bowl of water. He picked up the bowl and gave it to the pony. She levitated it and drank the water. Data and Worf were fascinated by this power. When she had finished the water, she said “Thank you so much if you could break us out of the prison I could stop the plague.”
Worf and Data did not have to think about that twice, they stood back and fired their Phasers at the door. The door melted away and they were free. The group ran through the door to the outside world.
They ran past the guards and mobs. The mobs started chasing after them. They kept running to the center of town.
She stopped and her horn started glowing. She rose into the air as the weather changed. Lightning bolts hit the zombies and they were transformed back into their old selves. The Princess descended from the heavens.
Data and Worf bowed to the Princess. The Princess said “I thank you for saving our land what could we do for you?” but before any one said anything.
Q appeared next to them. Q said “Hi Princess, watch out for discord.”
The Princess became very angry with Q. Q then said “Bye Princess I am taking them too.”
With a snap they were all back one the Enterprise. Worf and Data turned to face Q but he was gone. They were in 10 forward and the captain was there.
Picard walked up to them and said “What happened?”
Worf and Data said “You would not believe us even if we told you.”
The epic ending music plays as the ship flies away into the stars at warp speed.
