A Matter of Rules of War

Chapters

Setting up the Players
Exposition
Speakin' with the Dead
Dr. Sawbones
The Schemer, the Sabatour, and the Subject
Come Together
Dead on Time
...and I feel fine

Setting up the Players

The Badlands of Equestria

Perched atop a cliff, laid an old, grey castle. The flora surrounding the castle have grown wild and vine crept the sides of the building. Much of the castle is decrepit and crumbling, save the western portion. In contrast, these walls are well cared for and several ponies patrol around it.

“SPIKE! SPIKE WHERE ARE YOU?!?!” a shrill voice echoed through the castle.
Within one of the castle’s rooms, a purple unicorn mare looked up from her tome.

“Confound and damn that baby dragon, where is he…” the mare grumbled,
“SPIKE!”

“I heard you.”

The door to the room opened as a small dragon shambled in. His left arm is crudely sewn on and his right arm is replaced by a clockwork contraption, gears ticking and turning. His entire body is also an unusual shade of grey. He continued into the room and stopped in front of her.

“Has the report arrived yet?” the Unicorn demanded.

“No, it has-”

The dragon sputtered for a moment and coughed out a sickly green flame. A rolled wad of parchment lands on the floor. It’s quickly gripped by the unicorn’s magical aura, and unrolled.

“Oh goodie it’s arrived!”

The unicorn’s smile faded, as she continued to look over the parchment. Eventually, her look of distaste faded to one of fury.

“Twilight? Is something wrong?” The dragon, Spike, inquired.

“Something wrong? SOMETHING WRONG?” she telekinetically flung the report to the side. “That...that stupid griffin said she could not obtain what I asked for! This is what I get for relying on them.
Urgh….
Have we gotten news from the other one?”

“Not ye-”
Spike sputtered again, coughing out another wad of parchment.
“…I need to work on my timing.”

Twilight levitated the paper toward her and unrolled it. Her previously upset look changed to one of joy.

“Excellent! I knew I could trust her.” She rolled up the parchment, beaming. “Spike, send some of them out to prepare the docks. I will be there shortly.
Now out.”

The dragon quickly found himself surrounded by her aura and levitated out the door.
As the doors slam shut, Spike found himself crashing to the ground, damaging his clockwork arm. The dragon sat back up, inspecting the gears of his arm.

“Even if I can’t feel pain, it would be nice for you to put me down gently” he grumbled.

SOME TIME LATER

Twilight and Spike stood on the docks waiting. Behind them were several other ponies. On closer inspection, the other ponies show various signs of rot and decay. Various stitches of uneven length hold their mismatched body parts together, as coats of different colors clash with one another.
One of the rotting stitchworks swayed with the sea breeze, bits of flesh and hair falling off.

Twilight looked that the dragon, who returned to inspecting his arm gears.

“Where is she? She’s never late; she’s not supposed to be late.” Twilight began to pace back and forth.

“Salt water makes my gears rust.” The dragon grumbled, ignoring the unicorn.

“SPIKE! Where is she?” the unicorn turned her attention to him. “What if she drowned or if she crashed or if she-”

Twilight is cut off by a loud whistle and the crash of waves. A massive Submarine appeared on the surface of the water. It pulled up to the dock, giving all present a better view of it. Modeled after a whale, the ship possessed several coiling tentacles, allowing it to freely maneuver objects. A massive glass porthole replaced the area where it’s eye would be. Standing in the porthole, a brown spotted colt stared out. He waved to Spike and Twilight, and trotted out of view.

Pausing by the dock, the metallic leviathan rumbled as a door unsealed itself.
The door slammed into the dock, snapping several planks. Two unicorn ponies quickly exit, both levitating crude matchlock rifles. As they scan the area to make sure everything is safe, a single unicorn mare exited the ship, and walked onto the dock. Her aquamarine coat is singed and burnt in some spots. Much of her aquamarine mane is tied back, keeping out of her face. Strapped to her back is a strange device with six mechanical tentacles, similar to the ones on the submarine. A cutlass and two matchlock revolvers were kept at her side.
The unicorn smiled and approached Twilight.

“Miss Sparkle.”

“Captain Heartstrings. I assume you have what I asked for?”

“Miss Sparkle, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Captain Heartstrings turned her head back towards the ship, “BOYS! Get that out here, the less time it spends in there, the less cleaning we have to do.”

“Cleaning?” Twilight’s eyebrow rose at the word, “I asked for it to be whole and undamaged.”

“You’ll have to pardon the sea.” Captain Heartstrings apologetically smiled, “T’was a bit rougher than we would have liked. Had to stay low. Admiral Bonbon is out on the hunt again.”

“Ah. The Equestrian Navy.” Twilight nodded, “As long as it’s not too damaged….”

“One of the legs broke off in transport. Still have it.” Captain Heartstrings shook her head, “Sea Swirl didn’t tie it down well. Speaking of it….”
Captain Heartstrings turned her head back to the ship “WHAT’S TAKING SO LONG!!!?!?!”

A unicorn mare trotted out of the ship and saluted, “it’s...a little harder to move than we expected, captain.”

“It’s a frozen Ursa Minor, of course it’s not going to be easy, now get back to work.”

“Minor?” Twilight’s expression changed from joy to suspicion, “I asked for an Ursa Major, not a Minor.”

“You have to understand, Miss Sparkle, we still had to kill it and get it on board. My ship cannot hold something the size of an Ursa Major. Besides,” Captain Heartstrings smirked, “you never specified it in your initial order.”

“It was a typo! How was I supposed to know that my stupid assistant eardrums rotted past usability that day?”

“Twilight, I’m right here”

“Shut up Spike, I demand…”

“If you are unsatisfied with your product, we shall take it to the next available buyer.” Captain Heartstrings yawned, “after all, she also put in an order.
And she pays better; I only work with you because it’s easier to deliver.”

“…Spike, give them their bits and bring the body to the lab.”

Twilight turned around and trotted off the docks.

“…by the Princess, I hate doing business with her.” Captain Heartstrings grumbled.

“She’s in a bad mood. Her other shipment of parts isn’t coming in today.” Spike rubbed his head.

“Oh, the Conqueror chickened out then?” Captain Heartstrings chuckled, “Typical sky pirates. They think everything is beneath them.”

“No, it was the griffin.” Spike interrupted.

“…never heard of her.”

“I think she’s called…loft captain Gilda or something like that?”

“…Nope.” Lyra turned back to her ship “HURRY UP!”

“It’s out!” a unicorn yelled back.

“Finally.” Captain Heartstrings turned her attention back to the dragon, “So we’ll take our bits and go then.”

“Right.” Spike motioned for one of the stitched up undead ponies to come forward. An earth pony stepped forward, moving with a rolling gait. Stopping in front of Lyra, it dropped a sack and shambled backward. Several tentacles from Captain Heartstring’s contraption wrapped around the sack, opening it. The captain’s horn glowed, as several golden coins levitate out of the bag.
On closer inspection, one side of the coin has a large “1”, while the other is emblazoned with a pair of crossed mismatched horns.

“Excellent.” Captain Heartstrings dropped the coins back into the bag and closed it.
“As usual, a pleasure doing business with you Spike. If she needs anything you know how to contact us.”

--
ELSEWHERE IN THE BADLANDS

Another Castle came into view. In contrast to the previous castle, this one is meticulously cared for and lavishly decorated. Surrounding its walls is a well-cared garden filled with exotic and dangerous looking plants, as well as several fields of crops. Ponies, griffins, zebras, and donkeys patrol the grounds and work in the gardens. Upon closer inspection, many of these workers are badly wounded. A pony working in a cornfield stumbled upon the coils of her own intestines, spilling around her hooves. A griffin working in another field was completely missing both wings and his lower beak. Yet another pony, this one a unicorn, was missing his entire back half.
All around the castle the undead continue in their daily routines. The castle gate rose, and a blue coated unicorn mare exited, flanked by several burly undead earth ponies.

“What is taking that foolish griffin so long? Does she not know that the Great and Powerful Trixie has much better things to do than to wait on her?” the unicorn scoffed.

As she spoke, a massive airship appeared near her castle. A military model airship, it’s heavily armored gondola is bristling with cannons and a griffin crest on the front. As it nears the ground, several ropes are tossed out, followed by griffins and pegasus ponies. The unicorn, Trixie watches as they struggle to anchor the airship.

“Buffoons. I had an area cleared out for them in the back.” Trixie grumbled.

With the ship anchored, the ponies and griffins turn their attention to unloading the gondola. They run back and forth, dragging carts of coffins towards the castle. A single griffin breaks off of the group and landed near Trixie. The griffin is clad in a thick leather coat, a peaked cap decorated with the same seal as her ship is perched atop her head.

“Luftpirat Gilda.” Trixie smiled.

“Pony.” The luftpirat’s expression briefly changed to a smile, before reverting to a frown. “As agreed upon, I have gathered the corpses from the recent war between the Grand Duchy of Gape and the Duchy of Nassauk.
About a hundred and twelve in total.”

“I only asked for eighty.” The Unicorn’s eyebrow rose. “Why the extra thirty?”

“We had to rush.” Luftpirat Gilda shrugged, “we were being shot at by both forces, and the Conqueror was approaching.”

“She was hired by one of the Duchies?”

“No, same as we were, I think. There to loot the battlefield.” Luftpirat Gilda’s frown grew, “Stupid dweeb.”

“Well, I shall pay for them. I need to replace a few anyway, all they all intact?”

“For the most part. About ten of them lost their wings, and another seven are blown in half. We left the backs and kept the fronts, like you asked, though.”

“Seven out of a little more than a hundred…” Trixie bit her lower lip in thought, “fine. Half price for those seven though.”

“Whatever.” Luftpirat Gilda shrugged. The air pirate’s face suddenly brightened, “ah, one more thing.
One of the bodies is a little special.”

“Oh? Tell the Great and Powerful Trixie at once.”

“It’s General Lothar von Trotter.” Luftpirat Gilda’s smile widened, “you might remember that name for his actions in the last War between the Griffin states.”

“Ah, the Butcher of Darmspatz.” Trixie’s own grin widened, “that would be an excellent addition to my collection. How much do you want?”

“Seven hundred and twenty-five bits.”

“Deal.” Trixie held out a hoof. Luftpirat Gilda took the hoof, and the two shook.

“I also have a little information that might be of use to you in your little ‘war’”, The Air pirate added. “Free of charge.”

“Go on.”

“I was contacted by the Sticher, Twilight Sparkle, about obtaining the corpse of an Ursa.”

“Major or Minor?” the unicorn inquired.

“No idea, she didn’t specify.” Luftpirat Gilda shrugged, “Naturally, I had to decline, Ursa aren’t found in the griffon lands. However, seeing that the Conqueror was also in Griffin lands, it leaves only one other candidate.”

“…The Science-Pirate Heartstrings.” Trixie concluded. “From what I know, there’s no way her submersible could hold a full sized Ursa Major. Perhaps she could hold an Ursa Minor….
This information is very useful for me, Luftpirat.”

“Don’t misunderstand it.” The griffin scowled, “you just pay better than she does.”

“Of course.”

PONYVILLE TRAIN STATION

Three ponies continue down the platform towards their train. The first pony is a large, red coated stallion with a cutie mark of the shape of a large green apple. Rather than the soft clinks of hooves on the platform, every other step he takes ended with the loud clack of metal on metal; His mechanical left foreleg whirls and clicks as the gears in it turn.

“I reckon this is our train.” The stallion paused to let his companions catch up.

A white coated unicorn mare was the first of his companions to catch up. Her purple mane was tied back out of her face. On her back is a heavy saddlebag, its contents clank against one another with each step. Her cutie mark is a pair of crossed wrenches.

“Where’s Time Turner? I thought he was with you.” The stallion craned his neck to look around.

“He stopped to get something from a fruit cart.” The mare scoffed, “honestly, it’s not like there won’t be any food on the train.”

Another earth stallion with a brown coat and mane trotted up behind the two of them. His cutie mark is in the shape of an hourglass. Even as he approaches the other two ponies, he continued to mutter.

“Pears.
I hate pears, why are pears the only things left?” He looked up at his companions, “Oh, sorry, sorry. Is it time to go?”

“Eeyup.” The red stallion nodded. “Ladies first, Miss Rarity.”

“Why thank you, Big Macintosh.”

The unicorn, Rarity, steps into the train. The other earth stallion, Time Turner, followed her, stopping just before entering the train. The stallion flashed a grin at Big Macintosh.

“Shall we?”

“Eeyup.”

The two stallions boarded the train. After a whistle blow, the train left the station.

Exposition

The three ponies stared out of the window, watching the various fauna pass by.

“So, Big Macintosh…who exactly is Braeburn?” Rarity inquired.

“Well…” Big Macintosh paused, “He’s my frontier cousin.”

“Oh, a buckaroo, I’ve always wanted to see one of those.” The elements of Generosity and Honesty stared at Time Turner with baffled expressions. The stallion shrunk back a little, “Sorry.”

“Well…” Big Macintosh paused, “I don’t reckon he’d mind bein’ called that. He’s always been a rough and humble sorta fellow.” Big Macintosh chuckled. “First time we met, we got into a bit of a fight and ended up wrecking granny’s new kitchen table.
Anyway, he was the one that set out to help Appleloosa get on their hooves.”

“Ah, Appleloosa.” Time Turner shook his head, “That was quite a shame to be honest. It had a lot of promise, from what I had read.”

“What happened to Appleloosa?” Rarity interjected.

“…Raiders. Appleloosa was caught off guard and the military didn’t make it in time.” Big Macintosh’s expression soured, “He managed to survive, but it hit him hard. After that, he started drinkin’, getting into fights with other ponies, gamblin’…
A terrible thing to see.”

“I would imagine so.” Rarity nodded sympathetically.

“Well, after all of that, he got a message from Silver Star, the former sheriff in Appleloosa. As it happens, some of the survivors headed out to the Badlands and set up a new settlement; Deadwood.”

“Ominous name.” Time Turner noted.

“Said they called it that cause there’s a gulch of dead trees near the town.” Big Macintosh shrugged, “don’t see why they couldn’t call it something more cheery. Anyway, they wanted Braeburn to help them with the orchards they were trying to get set up, so he went off.
That’s really the last we heard from him, until that letter showed up.” Big Macintosh scowled, “Reckon it’s got to be mighty important. Didn’t even say what went wrong.”

“Really?” Time Turner turned his attention back to the earth stallion, “That doesn’t seem quite right.”

“What do you mean?” Big Mac stretched his limbs out, “Miss Rarity, do you mind?”

“No, no, that’s why I’m here.” Rarity’s horn glowed; several small screwdrivers and other tools floated up. Big Macintosh adjusted his position, keeping his left foreleg out. Rarity set to work; opening up the shin guard and inspecting the gears.

“Anyway, what do you mean by that, Time Turner?” Big Macintosh turned his attention back to the other stallion.

“Well, if it’s official, then they would at least what happened. If he’s dead, and mind you I’m not saying he is, then they would inform you of such, right?”

“…Eeyup.”

“And if he had gone missing for a significant period of time, then they would also inform you that he is presumed dead.” Time Turner paused, “And I don’t mean to sound rude, but if your cousin had another…breakdown, or lapse into his pre-Deadwood state, I would think they would inform you that they were calling the proper authorities to assist, wouldn’t they?”

“I reckon so.”

“Therefore, it is safe to assume that it is a complicated situation, where they cannot tell you his official status.” Time Turner scratched his chin, “But why? What could happen in the Badlands that would be such a secret? And why would they be terrified to tell you what happened?”
The earth stallion rubbed his hooves together in anticipation, “This is just like one of those murder mystery books. Did I ever tell you I was once part of a dinner murder mystery? They kicked me out because I figured it out before the appetizers were over.”

“Charming.” Rarity deadpanned, “Big Macintosh, have you been using the shin guard I gave you? This model is slightly less protected than your previous one, so I gave that to you to help protect it.”

“Eenope.”

“Honestly Big Macintosh….” Rarity shook her head.

“Well, anyway, Time Turner, I reckon you have a point. However, I also reckon they’ll let us know once we get there.”

A knock on the compartment door caught the attention of the occupants. A mare with a refreshment cart poked her head in.

“Would you like to have anything?”

“Some apples would be nice.” Time Turner asked politely.

“I’m sorry, we’ve run out. We still have pears though.”

“I’ll pass.” Time Turner waved the thought away, “Pears… Always pears.” He muttered.

“Are there any plums?” Rarity’s attention turned away from Big Macintosh’s prosthetic.

“A few left. How many would you like?”

“Three. Will there be a larger meal later?”

“Yes ma’am. It will be in about four hours or so. Anyway, that would be seven bits.”

Rarity’s satchel opened. Seven coins levitated toward the mare’s cart and settled down in a basket. The unicorn’s telekinetic aura surrounds three plums, bringing them towards her.

“Thank you. And you sir?”

“I’ll pass. Thank you kindly, ma’am.”

The stewardess continued down the train, as Time Turner pulled the door shut.

“Well anyway, I think it’s quite possible that he’s only missing.” Time Turner continued, “The badlands are a treacherous place, so there’s plenty that can go wrong.
Or so I’ve read.”

“You ain’t making this any better, Turner.” Big Macintosh grumbled, “Carrot Top an’ my sister were buttin’ heads when I left, and I can only imagine what they’re getting into.”

“Big Macintosh, I wouldn’t worry too much.” Rarity reattached the armored guard to Big Mac’s leg, “I’m sure Granny Smith or Dizzy will help out.”

“…I have a question. If Applejack doesn’t like Carrot Top, why does she let Applebloom and Sweet Wheat stay friends?” Time Turner inquired.

“Because the two of them have been best friends for years now.” Big Macintosh chuckled, “I reckon there’s no way in Equestrian she’d be able to break that up.”

“Friendship is an amazing thing.” Time Turner smiled. The other two ponies nodded in agreement.

DEADWOOD RAILSTATION

The train’s whistle sounded as the train pulled away from the tracks. Rarity, Time Turner, and Big Macintosh scanned the town, taking in their first impressions.

“This town seems rather… empty.” Rarity frowned. “There are no stores, how do they get what they need?”

“Reckon it all comes on the train.” Big Macintosh also frowned, “What I want to know is where the water source is? I didn’t see one on the way in, and a town can’t really support itself by importing all its food.”

“No, Big Macintosh, I mean there’s nothing. No blacksmith, no mechanic, nothing that would help maintenance.” Rarity shook her head, “I for one cannot believe a frontier town would be devoid of such things. What do you think Time Tur-” Rarity blinked, “Where did he go?”

“THIS IS FANTASTIC!”

Rarity and Big Macintosh looked down the dusty road that passed as a street, and watched Time Turner run back and forth studying everything he could get his hooves on.
Big Macintosh shook his head in disapproval, while Rarity groaned.
“We can’t take him anywhere, can we?” the mare complained.

“Eenope. Grab him while I figure out where the sheriff’s office is.” Big Macintosh started off in a different direction. Rarity stared at him, frowning.

“Leave me with the difficult job, will you?” Rarity turned her attention back to the other Earth pony, currently engrossed with the rusting remains of a plow.

“This is a different model than the ones the Sweet Apple Collective uses. The angle must mean that it’s better for arid soil or perhaps one with little to no hu-”

The Earth stallion suddenly found himself engulfed in a telekinetic aura. He floated toward Rarity, stopping in front of the upset mare.

“Darling, try not to make a fool of yourself.” Rarity scolded the stallion. Time Turner blushed and shrunk.

“Sorry.”

“Quite alright.”

“Miss Rarity, it’s this way.” Big Macintosh called out. Rarity stared over to the stallion, keeping Time Turner trapped in her aura.
“Can you put me down?”

“No. It’s faster this way and we won’t have to chase after you every time you see something ‘fantastic’.”

“…Fair enough.” Time Turner grumbled.

The two ponies managed to catch up to Big Macintosh. His eyebrow cocked at the sight of the encased Time Turner.

“Don’t ask.”

“Eeyup.”

THE SHERIFF’S OFFICE

Big Macintosh pulled the door out, holding it open.

“Affer yuu” He motioned, his voice muffled by the door.

“Why thank you.”

Rarity trotted in, still holding Time Turner in her telekinetic aura. Big Macintosh followed, closing the door with a slam. a loud thud is heard from another part of the room, followed by a sleep-filled groan.

“What in tarnation…” a voice drifted out of a separate room.

A brown mustached earth stallion trotted into the room. His cutie consisted of a five pointed sheriff’s star and he possessed crumpled ten gallon hat on his head. He quickly scanned the ponies in front of him, pausing at Time Turner.

“Th’ hell’s wrong with him?” the stallion pointed at the still floating Time Turner.

“What?” Rarity turned to look, “Oh. Nothing.” She releases the aura, dropping Time Turner to the ground with a thud.

“Ow.” Time Turner pulled himself back onto his hooves, rubbing the back of his head. “Thank you.”

“Sheriff Silver Star?” Big Macintosh ignored his companions.

“That’s me.” The stallion nodded. “And you are…”

“Macintosh Apple. You sent me a telegram about my cousin, Braeburn.”

“Ah right. Didn’t think you’d get here so soon.”

“Sheriff, when it’s matters about family, there ain’t no such thing as “too soon”.” Big Macintosh frowned.

“And the other two?”

“My friends, Time Turner and Rarity.” Big Macintosh shifted his attention back to the Sheriff.
“Let’s not beat around th’ bush, what happened to Braeburn?”

The sheriff’s eyes flickered to the ground, “Why don’t you take a seat, we got a lotta talkin’ to do.”

The sheriff settled behind his desk, as the other three ponies took their own seats.

“Well…there ain’t no easy way to say it. We’re pretty sure Braeburn is dead.”

“…What do you mean, ‘pretty sure’? Either he is or he ain’t.” Big Macintosh countered, his voice rising.

“Big Macintosh, I’m sure he’ll explain more.” Rarity calmed the stallion down. “Please continue, sheriff.”

“Thank you, ma’am. I say ‘pretty sure’ because we only saw…I’d say about a fourth of him. Had his cutie mark though, so we th-”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Time Turner interrupted, “what do you mean ‘a fourth of him’?”

“…You folk don’t know?”

“Sheriff, we have our own problems back in Ponyville. I don’t reckon anypony heard about what happens here.”

“…Well, to understand it, I gotta talk about the Kingdom. As I reckon you know, they still take their unicorns and train them just like the old days. Well, as the story goes, two very promising unicorns were born, Twilight Sparkle and Trixie Lulamoon. Both got accepted to the Academy, and both did well in their studies.” The sheriff paused for a moment. “As they say the two of them where rather competitive, always trying to prove who was the better mare.
Well, they both decided to do something banned in both the Kingdom and Equestria; bring back the dead.

Seems they were fairly successful for a while, seeing that there were plenty of reports of missing bodies, before they were finally caught.

Now normally, the penalty for breaking the law like that is death, but given their age and their family’s influence, their sentences were reduced to exile. And that’s how our problems began.” The sheriff finished.

“…So yer basically tellin’ me that my cousin got caught by one of them, and turned into a walkin’ corpse?” Big Macintosh blinked, “Tell me where I can find them. I got business now.”

“Mister Macintosh, that’s suicide. Do you know why there are so little people left here? Most of them ran off, but others tried to do the same foolish thing you’re about to do.” The sheriff shook his head, “I can’t send a pony to his death.”

“Sheriff, you’ll find that I ain’t an easy pony to kill.” Big Macintosh stood up, “Now even if you ain’t gonna tell me, I’ll figure this out on my own.”

The sheriff turned his attention towards Time Turner and Rarity, “You’re his friends, aren’t you? Talk some sense into that darn fool head of his.”

Rarity shrugged, “Sheriff, if there’s one thing I can’t do, its change his mind. Once he’s set on something, he will do it.”

Time Turner shrugged as well, “We’ve been through worse.”

The three ponies stood up and headed towards the door. Sheriff Silver Star slammed his hoof onto the table.

“None of you get it. You’re going up against two of the greatest necromancers alive. You’re all gonna get yourselves killed.”

Big Macintosh and Rarity left the room without a word. Time Turner began to follow them, but paused for a moment. He looked back at the sheriff and flashed a smile.

“We’ve faced Nightmare Moon. What’s a few unicorns?”

Time Turner’s smile faded as he hurried to catch up to his friends.

Speakin' with the Dead

The three ponies continued down a dusty, beaten path. Big Macintosh was hooked up to a worn-out cart filled with supplies.

“So, I reckon we’re gonna see them sooner or later. I just wish they could have been more helpful with their directions.” Big Macintosh grumbled.

“Darling, if they weren’t terrified out of their minds, I’m sure they would have given them.” Rarity gently reminded him, “You’re going after their boogiepony, after all.”

“So what exactly are Stitchers and Graveborns?” Big Macintosh changed the subject, “Turner?”

“Oh, basically the two types of necromancers.” Time Turner glanced to his left, “Graveborns are your traditional shady ponies that wander around graveyards and reanimate whatever they can get their hooves on. A few spells, and they’re back up and shambling. Still rotting though. The upside is that it’s easy to make them and you can summon up a bunch at a time. The downside is that they are fairly normal. Pegasi or griffon undead can only fly if they’re freshly dead and still have all their parts. Unicorn undead can’t use magic, and….that’s about it.” Time Turner concluded. “Did you see something move over there?
Oh never mind.”

“An’ Stitchers?” Big Macintosh pressed on.

“Are you Familiar with the novel “Frankenstallion”?” Time Turner paused, “No?”

“Turner, I don’t exactly have th’ time to dig through a hefty novel like that one.” Big Macintosh chuckled.

“Some of it. But the general idea is that they dig up corpses, stitch them together, and bring it back to life, right?” Rarity inquired.

“Basically. But just imagine it.” Time Turner’s grin grew, “Griffons with seven sets of wings and the claws of an Ursa Minor! An actual alicorn that can use something close to the powers of all three!”
Time Turner’s expression turned to one of utter delight, as he realized something.
“Oh, what if we had a minotaur, but gave it griffon wings, a snake’s tail, and octopi tentacles and their ink sacks? It would be fantastic!” The excited stallion yelled. Time Turner blushed and quickly covered his mouth with a hoof, as Rarity and Big Macintosh gave each other a concerned look.

“Time Turner, please don’t talk about that ever again.” Rarity instructed.

“Eeyup.”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I find the idea behind it fascinating.” He blushed and shrugged, “Given all the leaps in technology and magic that have been made there is so much we haven’t done.”

“Turner, sometimes you just gotta let things lie where they are.” Big Macintosh trudged on, “Ain’t no point worryin’ about what coulda happen.
For instance, I reckon things would be mighty different if Nightmare Moon won that day. Why, we could be out fightin’ for our lives against who knows what, instead of bein’ here.”

“Indeed.” Rarity glanced to her side, “Did you hear something?”

“Hmm? No.” Time Turner turned to look in another direction, “Was it over there?” He pointed towards his left.

“No, it was coming from that way.” Rarity pointed down the path they had just taken.

Big Macintosh’s head whipped towards his right, “somethin’ over there too.”

The three ponies back up towards one another. Big Macintosh unhooked himself from the cart and snorted.
“…none o’ the townsfolk said anything about raiders.”

“I think this is worse than that” Time Turner cowered.

The first of their observers pushed its way out of the bushes. An undead unicorn shambled into view, limping along on three legs. It opened its mouth, revealing rotting teeth. Before it could do anything, a wrench surrounded by a telekinetic aura bashed the undead unicorn’s head open. As it collapsed to the ground, Big Macintosh and Time Turner glanced at Rarity.

“…What?” The mare summoned the wrench back to her, keeping it near. “I wasn’t going to let it bite any of us.”

Before either stallion could respond, the bushes rustled again, as more undead ponies and griffons shambled forward, in various states of decay. The three elements back up, bumping into one another.

“I count at least ten over here.” Time Turner mumbled.

“Same here.” Rarity nodded. Her saddlebag unhooked itself and several other tools began to float out.

“Hold it, Miss Rarity.” Big Macintosh motioned to the undead, “Best we don’t make any sudden moves. I don’t reckon we can fight our way outta this one.”

“Big Macintosh, I have no intention of simply dying to these things.”

“I ain’t saying we gotta, I’m sayin’ wait. If they wanted to kill us, they would have already.”

“…He has a point, Rarity.” Time Turner nodded in agreement.

“…Oh fine.” Rarity placed her other tools back into her saddlebags, keeping the wrench out. “But I’m leaving this one out.”

One of the fresher undead, a griffon in a blood soaked uniform, shambled forward.

“Yugh..Forrow.” It motioned with one claw.

“…it can speak?” Rarity and Big Macintosh glanced over at Time Turner.
“You never said it could do that.”

“I didn’t know it could either.” Time Turner blinked in confusion.

“Qurrent. Yugh. Forrow. Or eat.” The griffon motioned again.

“…it’s bluffing right?” Time Turner nudged Big Macintosh.

“I don’t want to find out.”

The griffon shambled off, as it's left claw rolled in an unnatural way, the other undead motion for the living ponies to follow it, growling and baring their teeth for emphasis.

THE RESIDENCE OF AN EXILED UNICORN

Rarity, Big Macintosh, and Time Turner paused, staring at the castle and its surroundings.

“My goodness!” Time Turner’s eyes sparkled in wonder, “It’s an authentic unicornia era castle! This is magnificent, and it’s in such good shape too!”

Before he could continue gushing, an undead earth mare prodded him with her head, leaving scraps of rotting flesh and hair on his coat.

“Ghep guhg khing” it managed to sputter out of it’s mangled mouth.

“No need to make a mess, my delightful decaying darling.” Time Turner chuckled.

Two of the fresher pegasi took to the air, their wings beating in an unorganized, wild fashion. They both flew over towards the drawbridge and push it forward. It slammed into the ground with a thud and a sickening crunch. The back half of an undead pony twitched for a few more moments until stopping. The other undead remained oblivious to it, as they continue on, trampling the remains and leaving bloody hoof and claw prints on the draw bridge.

“Absolutely horrifying.” Rarity balked at the scene.

“Qurret.” A new griffon, this one missing his wings, motioned for them to follow, “Fharoo. Ake ur gru astshr.”

“I think it wants us to follow him” Time Turner whispered to his companions.

“Well, I would think so. They’ve made us come this far.” Rarity grumbled.

The griffon led the three living ponies, all of whom step around the carcass, and enter the castle. As they walk down the corridors, they glance around taking in their surroundings. Pictures of a blue unicorn mare stare back at them, seemingly watching their every move. Other undead ponies and griffons wander the halls, meagerly pushing brooms, mops and dusters around. The lead griffon paused in front of a massive door and turned to the Elements.

“Ehher.” It motioned for them to pass.

Big Macintosh took the lead, pushing against the door, to find….

“WELCOME HONORED GUEST!” a voice boomed out. Big Macintosh stepped back in surprise, as Time Turner bumped into Rarity. The mechanic shot the brown stallion a dirty look.
“Sorry” he meekly apologized.

The three ponies stared into the room. A blue unicorn mare sat at the head of a massive table, laden with plates of food. The unicorn motioned for the Elements to come forward.

“Come forward! You are welcomed to dine with the Great and Powerful Trixie!” the unicorn smugly smiled.
Big Macintosh and Rarity exchange confused glances, as Time Turner stepped forward.

“Wonderful! I’m star-”

Time Turner found himeslf suddenly restrained by Rarity’s magical aura.

“Hold it right there.” Big Macintosh stepped forward, “You’re that Necromancer the sheriff was talkin’ about ain’t you?”

“I am one of them.” Trixie’s smile faded, “Do not confuse me with that charlatan Twilight Sparkle.”

“Judging by the ones scampering around your, ah, castle, I would imagine you are the…Graveborn?” Rarity ventured.

“Indeed. Unlike my…rival, I believe that the body is already perfect. There is nothing to improve upon.” Trixie smiled and once again motioned to them once again, “Now eat. All from my garden, tended by my own workers.”

“…How do we know it ain’t poisoned? You need bodies don’t ya?” Big Macintosh countered.

The smile once again dropped from the unicorn mare’s face, “I am not going to waste several days’ worth of harvest for three new bodies.” Trixie’s face lit up in a sinister grin, “Besides, if I wanted your bodies, I would have just killed you already.”

“….She brings up a fair point.” Time Turner nodded in agreement.

“..Alright.” Big Macintosh reluctantly nodded. Rarity sighed as she released Time Turner from her aura.

The three ponies took the seats on Trixie’s left, glancing at the decomposing servers and the food itself. Another magical aura surrounded several ladles, and dollop various vegetables on to their plates. Rarity and Big Macintosh exchanged wary glances, only to be interrupted by Time Turner.

“This is fantastic! What is it?” Time Turner returned to munching his way through a hunk of a grayish tuber.

“They call it Kalo. It’s from the Lio’olawe in the Hawaii Islands.” Trixie puffed out her chest slightly, “I had one of the sea pirates bring it in.”

“Sea pirates?” Rarity’s eyebrow rose, “but...”

“They keep land transports on their craft. It’s more bothersome for them, but I pay well.” Trixie replied while cutting an eggplant in half with her knife, “Oh, how do I get the money? I loot the bodies and sell whatever they have. I prefer not to kill travelers, though.
They tend to have more money, but rarely make good bodies.”

“…How did you know we were coming?” Big Macintosh warily inquired, “I don’t re-”

“A little birdie told me.” Trixie smiled smugly, “So I understand you are looking for your cousin? Orange-yellow stallion with an apple cutie mark and leather chaps?
Rather interesting fellow, always getting into bar fights and drinking…..”

“Did you kill him?” Big Macintosh’s expression darkened.

“No.” Trixie quickly responded. “He was a good body, but not one I needed at the moment.”

“Is that all he was? More fuel for your petty grudge?” Big Macintosh’s front hooves began to shake, the gears and screws rattling in his mechanical leg.

“I find it rather unfortunate that you would consider it a ‘petty grudge’.” Trixie scoffed, “yet, I do not expect an outsider from knowing the whole story.
However, now what shall I do with the three of you….”

Trixie rose from the table and began to pace the room. Several undead griffons and ponies begin to clear the table of food.

“What can I do with the Elements of Honesty, Generosity and Magic?” Trixie chuckled at their surprised expressions, “What, did you assume I did not know that? I do receive newspapers and information from the townsfolk and such.” Trixie laughed, “The element of Magic is a mere earth pony? How foolish, certainly someone as great and mighty as the Great and Powerful Trixie deserves such an ho-”.

Trixie was unceremoniously interrupted as a single screwdriver flew past the other ponies, and pinned her hat to the wall. Rarity’s aura faded from her horn and the screwdriver.

“Do shut up. If there is anything I cannot tolerate, it’s a braggart who will not shut up about how wonderful and magnificent they think they are.” Rarity paused, narrowing her eyes at Trixie, “If you continue, I will destroy you.”

The atmosphere grew heavy, as the two mares continued to glare at one another. Suddenly the tension was shattered as Trixie laughed.

“You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that.” The necromancer smiled, “I-”

Before she could continue, an undead earth stallion dressed in a decrepit suit entered, carrying a hat on his back. As he approached Trixie, a roll of parchment popped out of the hat.

“Oh, one moment, business.”

Trixie’s aura surrounded the parchment as she unrolled it and began to read it out loud.

To: Trixie Lulamoon.
From: Twilight Sparkle.
Subject: Our last conflict.

Miss Lulamoon, once again you have ignored our previous agreement.

Item One: No spontaneous reanimations.
Item Two: No luring, killing, and reanimation of travelers or non-sentient beings.
Item Three: Combatants must meet at the scheduled location and time.
Item Four: Combatants must have at least three limbs in the case of earth ponies, unicorns and other four limbed creatures, and at least five in the case of Griffons and Pegasi.

You cannot reanimate during combat! Stop sending undead swine and poultry to attack and harass my soldiers before combat! Stop flanking and sneaking up on my soldiers!
Stop using griffons that lack their hind legs and wings.
I was forced to spend more of that Apple pony’s body to repair the damage done to my Alicorn.

We both swore on the honor of our family names so this counts.

Respectively yours,
Twilight Sparkle.

“Oh, telling me what to do, will you?” a quill, inkpot and sheet of parchment suddenly appeared and Trixie began to write.

Twilight,

Must you always complain?

1: I never agreed to that. I shall raise them whenever I wish. Just because you need fifteen different corpses to make one functioning soldier, does not mean I have to wait for you.
2: If there is a pony that is stupid enough to follow the rotting corpse back, I suppose he deserves to die.
3: Predetermined place and time? This is a battle not a tea party with some half-witted Unicorn noble.
4: Those griffons are models of efficiency, unlike you who can’t make a pony walk without giving it twenty different parts.

Just because you need to take time out to make your troops, it does not mean I must remain idle.

And we have both been disowned by our families, our names don’t mean anything.

-Trixie.

“And...done.” she rolled up the letter and placed it in the hat, where the parchment vanished with a slight pop.

“Now where was I?” Trixie pondered for a moment, before her face broke into a wide grin, “Ah right. I know exactly what I am going to do with the three of you…..”

Dr. Sawbones

“How did we even get into this mess?” Rarity shook her head.

Rarity, Time Turner and Big Macintosh continued down a beaten, dusty road, flanked by several undead ponies. Tied to each of the undead was a crude flagpole flying an improvised white flag of surrender.

“Well, I reckon pinnin’ her hat to the wall mighta had something to do with it.” Big Macintosh grumbled.

“It got my point across.” Rarity countered.

Before Big Macintosh could respond, Time Turner spoke, “Personally, I would worry less about that and more about what exactly we’re going to do.” The earth stallion motioned toward the undead, “here we are surrounded by our …ah, esteemed and generous host’s guards, and we’re suppose to speak to this... Twilight Sparkle about negotiating an end to their feud.” He paused, “oh, and we’re suppose to wreck the lab that she makes stitchers out of. I don’t see anything going wrong here, no sirree.”

“Time Turner, sarcasm is very unbecoming of you.” Rarity quipped, “In the mean time, I suppose a plan would be in our best interest. What do you know about this…Twilight?”

“Well, if we’re to believe our host, she’s the devil incarnate.” Big Macintosh snorted, “Although I reckon my sister says the same thing ‘bout Carrot Top.”

“…I read a little while I was still in Canterlot. From what I remember, the Sparkles were one of the bigger noble families that supported the Princesses in the Civil War. They were always known for their magical skill, and I would suppose that this Twilight is no different.” Time Turner answered.

“..So you’re basically telling me that we’re up against somepony who is a magical prodigy.” Rarity shook her head.

“Well….Sense she is a classmate of Trixie’s and assuming that they’re both the same ages as you, Rarity, I would assume that her Magical training is far from complete.” Time Turner continued, “Stitchers actually require very little magic in their craft, so it’s likely that she is out of practice.”

“I doubt it.” Big Macintosh shook his head, “Ain’t much else to do out here, so I would reckon she’s got some tricks up her sleeve. Anyway, do we have a plan?”

“I have one.” Time Turner beamed, “It goes lik-”

“I think we should wait until we see what we are up against.” Rarity interrupted, “besides, we all remember what happened the last time you came up with a plan.”

“..That’s rather rude.” Time Turner grumbled.

“Element of Honesty, darling.”

CASTLE SPARKLE

The three ponies moved forward, stopping at the moat surrounding the castle.

“…so how do we get I-”

“STATE YOUR BUSINESS”. A voice erupted out of a nearby small metallic box, startling Time Turner.

“The hell is that thing?!?!” The startled Time Turner began to examine it.

“I reckon it’s some sorta magical microphone speaker o’ some sort.” Big Macintosh trotted up to it, “Hello?”

“STATE YOUR BUSINESS”, the voice repeated.

“we’ve been sent by Th’ Great an’ Powerful Trixie, to discuss a possible ceasefire.” Big Macintosh spoke into the device. The box remained silent for several minutes, as the ponies exchanged uncertain glances.
“You reckon she heard that?”

WHUMP

The Castle’s gate falls to the ground, bridging the gap and startling all the ponies.

“I think so.” Time Turner started towards the bridge. As the others joined him, they glanced down at the wood.

“It’s so…rotten.” Rarity prodded the wood, “I don’t think it will break, but who would let this go to waste?”

“Miss Rarity, the entire castle ain’t exactly in top shape.” Big Macintosh motioned towards the crumbling walls, “lookit that. Th’ walls are tumblin’ down.”

“It’s still a vintage Unicornia period castle.” Time Turner interjected. “I-”

Time Turner is interrupted as rocks from the wall collapsed onto the drawbridge, in front of him.

“…I think we should get in there quickly.”

“Eyup.”

The three hurried off the drawbridge. Once they made it off, they turn around to see another rock fall down.

“..That ain’t safe.” Big Macintosh shook his head.

“I keep telling Twilight that she needs to devote a little time and effort to fixing things up, but she keeps putting it off.” A new voice answered Big Macintosh’s statement.

The ponies turn back around and came face to face with Spike. The dragon held out his mechanical arm for a hoofshake.

“Hi. I’m Spike, Twilight Sparkle’s Assistant.”

“Oh, a baby dragon! Fantastic!” Time Turner began to circle Spike, examining him. “Hm…seems to be part of the wurm family, as there appears to be no signs of wing growth, but there seems to be some scarring around where wings would appear…”

“That’s because Twilight tried to sew pegasus wings onto my back.” Spike grumbled, “I told her it wouldn’t work.”

“Wait, what?” Rarity stepped forward, “why would anypony try something so...barbaric?”

“You guys don’t really know anything about Twilight, do you?” Spike sighed, “Well, we better get going. She’ll want to hear what you all have to say.”

The dragon turned around and walked off. The other ponies huriedy up and caught up to him.

“..You’re not exactly alive, are you?” Time Turner inquired.

“What would make you ask somethin’ like that?” Big Macintosh’s eyebrow rose.

“Well, for starters he shows no sign of growth or shedding, he seems rather emancipated, has the faint smell of formaldehyde and other preservatives, and his right arm socket shows several visible signs of decay, as do other joints.” Time Turner shrugged and turned his attention back to the dragon, “am I right?”

“Well…”

“Correct.” Another voice answered. Twilight entered the hall, still clad in a blood splattered lab coat, “Spike, what are you doing? I told you to lead them to my office.”

“I was, Twilight.” The dragon protested, “You’re the one who walked out he-”

“Don’t argue with me.” Twilight snapped back, “Just get my office set up.”

“..Yes ma’m.” the baby dragon continued down the hall. Twilight’s expression suddenly shifted as she beamed at the Elements.
“So, as I’m certain Miss Lulamoon has mentioned, I am Twilight Sparkle, Daughter of Nightlight, The current duke of-”

“Erm, we’re from the Republic. Their titles aren’t exactly important to us. Also, if you’re out here, their titles wouldn’t mean very much.” Time Turner meekly cut her off. “Sorry.”

Twilight’s smile briefly flickered into a frown, “As I was saying, welcome. I’m certain we have much to discuss. However, I should warn you that I will have to take what Miss Lulamoon says with a grain of salt. This isn’t the first time she took advantage of a false promise of negotiation.”

“I assure you that she is not doing so.” Time Turner nodded.

“Excellent. Now if you will follow me…”

The Unicorn turned around and continued down the hall, followed by the other ponies. Twilight slowed down, allowing Rarity to catch up. The unicorn flashed a smile at the Element of Honesty.

“So I understand that you are the Elements of Harmony. Shame that who ever was in charge of the newspaper got it wrong.”

“I beg your pardon?” Rarity’s eyebrow went up.

“It said that an earth pony was the element of Magic.” Twilight laughed, “That’s obviously a mistake, I’ve done my research, and there’s nothing special about earth ponies.”

“…I believe you are in fact mistaken. I am the Element of Honesty, Big Macintosh is the Element of Generosity, and Time Turner is the Element of Magic.” Rarity responded.
Twilight’s mouth opened to reply, only for Rarity to cut her off, “and further more, I do not wish to hear you insult my friends in front of me. There is more to them than meets the eye.”

“..Phfft, if it cannot be located, isolated and examined it is meaningless.” Twilight scoffed, “although….perhaps there is more to him.” Twilight’s eye twitched.
“Anyway, this is my office. Please, come in and we may talk.”

The door to her office opened, as Spike finished setting up the last seat.

“The tea isn’t ready yet, Twilight.”

“Whatever Spike.” Twilight turned her attention back to the Elements, “please, take a seat.”

Twilight took her seat behind the desk, as the others fumbled into their own chairs.

“Now, first I would like to know what exactly Miss Lulamoon is proposing.”

“Well, she mentioned some things about restrictions on the undead used, their modifications, and…that was really it.” Time Turner paused, “Oh, and the possibility of trying to get back into your family’s good graces.”

“Really now?” Twilight’s eyebrow rose, “That doesn’t quite sound like Miss Lulamoon.”

“Well, you know how ponies can be.” Time Turner shrugged, “Temperamental, and fleeting”

“I suppose, but we have been going at this for the past five years.” Twilight paused, “or was it six? Oh, I don’t know any more, after a while all the corpses look the same.”

Big Macintosh’s expression grew darker and he slowly began to grind his teeth. Twilight carried on, oblivious to him.

“Anyway, as I was saying, what she seems to be asking for is greatly out of character for her. She has repeatedly stated that she doesn’t believe that either of us would be reaccepted by the nobles in the kingdom, even if we…oh I don’t know, located Princess Luna and brought her back to the kingdom.”

“Well, she seemed rather adamant about this.” Time Turner coughed, “Perhaps she realized something that you haven’t.”

“Oh, I doubt that.” Twilight scoffed at the thought. The Unicorn puffed out her chest and smiled smugly, “I am the superior unicorn. Anything that she has thought of is something that I have already accounted for.”

“Is that why you’re still fighting each other?” Rarity interrupted, “I would imagine that the ‘superior’ unicorn would have won such a conflict already.”

Twilight’s smiled died. “That. That is a rather unfair statement; Miss Lulamoon is rather adapt and finding ways to…”

“..To keep you from claiming victory, I would assume.” Rarity smiled.

“Rarity, try not to antagonize her.” Time Turner whispered. Turning his attention back to the increasingly distraught unicorn, he continued. “Anyway…well, we can continue to discuss things, ah tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? But you have just arrived.”

“Ah, we are rather tired from the journey from there to here. In the meantime, it will give you time to think about Miss Trixie’s offer.”

“…I suppose you have a point.” Twilight nodded. “Spike! Show them to a guest room.”

“But the tea is do-”

“Don’t argue with me, just do it!”

“Right. This way please.” The dragon grumbled. He and the ponies exit the room, closing the door behind them. A sinister grin crawled onto Twilight’s face, as the mare levitated a pair of blood stained goggles and several surgical tools towards her.

“Time for your examination, Mr. Element of Magic.”

The Schemer, the Sabatour, and the Subject

Rarity examined her room; a thread bare bed, a termite ridden dresser and several other rickety pieces of furniture.

“It’s…certainly not what I was expecting, to say the least.” Rarity forced a smile.

“Yeah, I keep telling Twilight that she needs to do something about it.” Spike responded as he carried a pile of moth-eaten sheets into the room. “She doesn’t really expect visitors, but I spent a lot of time thinking about it.”

“Ah, insomnia?”

“No, I’m physically unable to sleep.” Spike shrugged, “Remember? I’m dead.”

“Oh…right.” Rarity sheepishly smiled at the dragon, “Not really use to talking to dead dragons. Or dragons in general.”

“It’s fine. It’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t ordering me around and then changing her mind three minutes later.” Spike sat on a rickety chair, only for it to collapse under his weight.

“Oh! Are you alright?” Rarity quickly trotted to his side.

“I’m fine.” Spike sat back up. He began to flex his fleshy arm, inspecting it. “Alright, that’s good”. As he turned his attention to his mechanical arm, several gears popped out.
“Oh not again!” The dragon cried out, “I just finished trying to fix this thing…”

“Come here.” Rarity levitated her bag towards her. Spike went over, carrying the gears with him.

“Sit.” Rarity motioned for Spike to rest his mechanical arm on the bed. Her aura wrapped around the gears, as well as her screwdrivers, “Oh this…this is actually fairly simple. Who built this arm for you?”

“Well, Twilight made the original. But since she’s always so busy with the other bodies, I had to maintain it.” Spike responded.

“Ah. See here, the gears do not line up right, so it keeps grinding.” Rarity pointed to one spot in Spike’s arm with her screwdriver, she then pointed to another spot, “and here, the spring is damaged. And right here, the joint is not connected well, meaning that the overall structure is weaker. I take it you have no practical experience in this sort of thing?”

“Well…No.” The undead dragon scratched behind his head, “I don’t have a lot of time to myself, so I have to do it whenever I get the chance, and I have to do it quickly.”

“Yes, I see.” Rarity continued to work, as the dragon watched.

“You’re…really good at this.” Spike glanced away from the pony, his face changing color slightly.

“That’s my special talent.” Rarity finished screwing one last gear in, “and done. Test it out.”

Spike gets back onto his feet and flexed his mechanical arm.

“It’s a lot better than normal, Thanks Miss Rarity!”

“It’s not a problem, all in a day’s work for me.”

The dragon cheerfully left the room as Rarity watched him.

“…How could anypony as twisted as her make something as adorable as him?” Rarity sadly shook her head.

ELSEWHERE IN CASTLE SPARKLE

Big Macintosh and Time Turner stared at the run down, rusted bed and then back towards each other.

“I ain’t sleepin’ on that. Thing barely looks like it’ll support you, let alone me.”

“Suit yourself.”

Time Turner trotted over and eased himself onto the bed, listening to the rusted springs groan under his weight.
“So do we have a plan?”

“Eyup.”

“…are you going to tell me it?”

“What’s th’ likelihood that she bugged the place?”

“Spy technology is not advanced enough to do so in the Republic, nor the Kingdom. Unless she has...oh I don’t know little reanimated heads in every dark corner of the room, I doubt she’ll be able to hear it.” Time Turner shrugged.

“Still, I reckon it’s best I don’t tell ya everythin’.” The farm pony scanned the room, “You’re gonna stay here. I’ll take care o’ it.”

“But…”

“No buts.” Big Macintosh interrupted, “This is serious business.”

“…Really now, do you expect me to believe that you and Rarity will do this all by yourselves?” Time Turner frowned, “Certainly both of you have a plan right?”

“Eyup.”

“….If I ask Rarity she won’t tell me either, will she?”

“Eyup.”

“Even though she’s the Element of Honesty?”

“It ain’t lyin’ if she doesn’t know the whole plan either.”

“….You’re mean.” The brown stallion sulked.

“Yer startin’ t’ sound like Applebloom.”

LATER THAT NIGHT

Rarity rolled out of the bed, levitating her bag towards her.

“Alright…”

The door to her room creaked open. Rarity spun around, wrench at ready.

“..Spike?”

The undead dragon glanced around as he nervously crept forward.

“Huh? You’re awake?” the dragon stepped back, surprised, “why are you…never mind.”

“Spike why are you here?”

“I…” The dragon shifted his gaze from the pony to the floor, “I came to warn you.”

“Warn me? About what?”

“Ever since the three of you showed up, She’s been preparing her lab for the…” Spike paused, searching for the right word, “Vivislection? No...Vivirectio, no that’s not it either. Um…” Spike fumbled with his hands, making cutting, sawing and other motions.
“She wants to cut you and your friends into pieces to see why you can wield the Elements of Harmony.”

“The word is vivisection, Sp-” the mare absent-mindedly correct him before realization kicked in, “wait, what was that?”

“She wants to vivisect you and your friends.” Spike responded. “I came to warn you.”

“..Then I will have to warn my friends. Take me to their room, Spike.”

GUEST ROOM

The door creaked open and a red head poked out of it. Glancing around, Big Macintosh pushed open the door.

“Stay here.”

“What if you get in trouble?” Time Turner retorted. “How will I know to come and help you?”

“Reckon you’ll figure out somethin’, I got faith in ya, after all.” The red stallion grinned and stepped out of the room, a cloth tied around his mechanical leg to muffle the sounds. The stallion scanned the area once again, and continued down the hall.

“Now where would she keep somethin’ as important as her lab….”

The stallion continued down the hall, not noticing as something peeled itself off the wall and follow him.

ELSEWHERE IN CASTLE SPARKLE

Rarity and Spike continued down the hall. The dragon looked at the mare and then back to his feet.

‘Is something a matter, Spike?”

“uh, nothing.”

“Oh, do not lie to me. There is something on your mind.” The mare prodded.

“…I think you’re nice.”

“That’s very kind of you to say so, Spike.” Rarity smiled.

“And I think you’re really pretty.”

“Thank you.” Rarity’s smile grew.

“And I think you’re up to something.” The dragon zombie quickly shifted gears.

“Of course I a-”, Rarity clammed up, realizing her mistake.

“I thought so.” Spike sighed.

“…so,” Rarity’s horn glowed with her aura, “what do you plan on doing?”

“I really meant everything I said, Miss Rarity.” Spike quickly responded. “But I had my suspicions. I mean, three ponies show up out of nowhere claiming to be here on behalf of Twilight’s arch nemesis. And at that they’re the Elements of Harmony.” Spike shot her an offended look.
“You don’t have to be a magical prodigy to figure out something isn’t quite right.”

“..Very true.” Rarity nodded ,“so…”

“I don’t plan on telling Twilight.” Spike frowned, “I can already see what she’s going to say; ‘Spike!’” the dragon’s voice changed to a more screechy, high pitched one, “‘Why didn’t you know they were here to do that? I expected better of you! Spike! Why is my hair on fire? How come you didn’t see that happening?’”
The dragon coughed, “...and that sort of thing.” Spike rolled his eyes, “Just because I’m her servant doesn’t mean she gets to treat me like this.”

“I see.”

“I really don’t like it here. I know she brought me to life, but it…it doesn’t feel like she wants me.” Spike hung his head, “does that make sense?”

“In a way.” Rarity cleared her throat.

ELSEWHERE

Big Macintosh dropped the gore-soaked mace to the floor, staring at the remains of a body. The pulverized pony head was crudely stitched to the extended neck of a dragon, which in turn was stitched to a heavily modified body of a griffon. Attached to the griffon body were a set of surgically elongated mismatched pony legs.

“..Th’ hell was that thing?” Big Macintosh glanced around, “How in the hell did it sneak up on me?”

Big Macintosh continued down the hall, stopping in front of a large door.

“This looks mighty important.”

NEAR THE LIBRARY

Spike pushed the door open, as Rarity trotted in.

“Why do you need to stop here anyway?”

“Spike, How many undead are wandering the castle?”

“Um….” The dragon paused to count off on his fingers, “about fifty.”

“And around the castle?”

“…another fifty?”

“And waiting to be reanimated?”

“…probably another fifty.”

“And there are only three of us, without our elements might I add.” Rarity levitated a book toward her, glanced at the cover and laid it on the side to find a new one. “I need to find something that will even the odds in our favor.”

“Well…You have me.” The dragon puffed out his chest a little.

“While that is a very generous offer, it would still be four against a hundred or more.” Rarity levitated a book away from her and selected another. “I will still accept it, though.”

“Miss Rarity, how do you know that I’m not doing this to trick you into helping Twilight” Spike inquired. Rarity slowly turned to face him, glaring at him with a scowl on her face.

“I think you’re rather nice, Spike. But I do not appreciate being played for a fool. If you are indeed trying to trick me into helping your master kill my friends, I will end you now, and take care of her next. Am I clear?”

“..yes ma’m.”

“I do trust you, let me make that clear.” Rarity’s scowl turned back into a smile, “You’ve already risked your, ah, existence to warn me. There has been ample time for an ambush, yet nothing has happened. I do believe that you are trying to help. Now, if you would be so kind, help me find a book.”

Time Turner entered the mayor’s office, a stack of papers piled onto his back.

“Miss Mayor, Here’s the paperwor…what on Equestria?”

The office lights were off, replaced by the dimmer glow of candlelight. Sitting on her desk was the mayor. The earth pony shifted her position, allowing Time Turner to get a better view of her flank, and the three smiling flowers on it.

“…Miss Cheerilee?” Time Turner’s eyebrows flew up.

“Oh, Time Turner.” A seductive smile lit up the earth mare’s face, “I didn’t here you come in.”

“…Miss Cheerilee, you don’t have any other appointments today, who were you expecting?”

“Why my number one assistant, of course.” The mare slinked off the table and towards Time Turner, “and I assure you that my number one assistant deserves a number one reward…”

“This...this is highly unethical-”

Cheerilee pulled the stuttering stallion towards her.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

The mare moved forward, bringing her lips to the shocked stallion…

WAP

Time Turner awoke, sputtering.

“Miss Cheerilee, you’re really into the weird stuff…” the stallion groggily muttered.

“What are you talking about?” a new voice cut him off.

“What?”

Time Turner’s eyes refocused, taking in his surroundings. A harsh, blinding light stared down at him. He struggled to move his limbs, before noticing that they had been strapped down with leather strips. Turning his head to glance around, he noticed several trays filled with metallic instruments, empty trays, several bottles of a clear, harsh smelling liquid and several other empty lidded containers.

“….oh no.” the stallion whispered.

“What are you muttering about?” Twilight stepped into the light, a pair of glasses with one cracked lens perched on her face.

“What are you doing?” Time Turner struggled against the bonds..

“I’m trying to figure out why you can wield the elements.” Twilight rolled her eyes, “Duh.”

“And how is this suppose to accomplish anything?!!”

“…I would imagine that there is something special about you and your friends. Certainly there is something tangible within you.” Twilight’s grin grew to maniacal levels, “I would imagine that it is located somewhere between the liver and the spleen….”

Time Turner continued to flail around, rocking the table around and knocking over several trays of instruments and bottles. He watched as the tools scattered on the ground and were doused in a bitter smelling liquid and glass.

“Aha! Now you’ll have to stop and clean those up if you want to use it!”

Twilight glanced at the tools and back to Timer Turner, “…No need. I have extras.” Twilight smiled again, as she brought a pair of bone saws forward, “Now…Let’s see what makes you worthy of Magic, Mr. Turner.”

“…oh bollocks.”

CASTLE SPARKLE’S STORAGE FACILITY

Big Macintosh squinted at tub filled with a foul smelling liquid.

“What in th’ hell is thi-”

Big Macintosh was cut off as a severed griffon arm breached the liquid, and then slowly sank back in. The stallion backed off, startled.

“That ain’t right.”

Big Macintosh continued to weave his way around larger glass tubes. Floating within the tubes were the bodies of earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, griffons, minotaurs, donkeys, Timberwolves, bears and many other manners of creatures. Even more shocking were creatures that had been stitched together from various different species. Big Macintosh stopped to stare at one such monstrosity: the head of a griffon crudely stitched to the upper body of a minotaur. Strapped to the minotaur’s waist were several crude metal strips, fastening it to the body of a pegasus. Two extra pairs of wings were also crudely stitched onto the minotaur’s back in a vain attempt to allow flight. Big Macintosh walked away from the patchwork creature, disgusted.

“Why th’ hell would anypony want to make something like that?” The stallion shook his head, “Th’ sooner we get this over with th’ better.”

Big Macintosh continued into the room, passing more and more tubes filled with bodies. He suddenly stopped, staring at one tube. The mutilated remains of an earth stallion with a light gold coat, and a mustardy yellow mane floated in the tube. The body was missing much of its left body and right front leg. The body slowly turned in the tube, revealing a cutie mark in the shape of a bright red apple.

“…Braeburn.” Big Macintosh’s voice dropped to a pained whisper.

Big Macintosh trotted over to the tube, staring at the body.

“This ain’t right. No, no, no, this ain’t.”

Big Macintosh spun around and bucked the tube, resulting in little more than hurting his own hooves.

“Now that is mighty impressive stuff.” Big Macintosh winced as he trotted away, “Reckon it’s gotta have some kinda control panel or something like that.”

The stallion stopped in front of an impressive looking machine, covered in knobs, levers, buttons and wiring.

“This has gotta be it…..although I don’t know which it is.” Big Macintosh continued to scan the machine, before finally settling on a rather large switch.

“….I reckon that ain’t i-”

Several things whizzed by his head, impacting the machine. Big Macintosh leapt to the side, getting out of the way, spinning around to get a look at his opponent. A monstrosity consisting of several Manticore tails fastened to the front half of a griffon dragged itself forward. It hissed as several of the tails coiled and prepared to strike.

“…Reckon this is gonna be a little rough.”

Big Macintosh sidestepped, dodging another tail as it whipped forward. He continued to circle the creature, dodging its tails.

“S’got about half a dozen of’m and it takes about…” Big Macintosh dodged another tail lash, “’bout half a second.”

The red stallion quickly glanced backwards, looking at the holes left in the concrete by the undead beast’s tail.

“Reckon that oughta do.”

Big Macintosh dashed off to the side, as the undead creature dragged itself along. He skidded to a stop in front of the tube with Braeburn’s remains in it, and spun around to face the creature.
Unbeknownst to the two combatants, a light switched off, and a hiss filled the air as another larger tank began to open.

“Now listen, you’re mighty tough, judgin’ by those holes yer leavin’ in everything ya’ hit with those tails o’ yers.” Big Macintosh grinned, “So yer gonna help me get my cousin’s body outta there.”

The beast screeched at him, sending several of its tails towards him. At the last moment, Big Macintosh leapt out of the way, causing the beast to shatter the glass tube. A torrent of foul smelling liquids gushed out, carrying the body and shards of broken glass towards the beast. As the liquid ebbed, Big Macintosh stepped out of his hiding spot, cautiously approaching the creature. It lay sprawled on the floor, several large shards of glass sticking out of its head.

“…destroyin’ the brain works either way, then.” Big Macintosh turned his attention to the mortal remains of his cousin. He trotted over to the body, and sadly sighed.
“Braeburn. I know we didn’t always see eye t’ eye, but you deserved much better th’n this.” The stallion shook his head “no pony deserves this.”

Big Macintosh grabbed the remaining leg and pulled the body over his back.

“Now let’s figure out how th’ finish what we’ve st-”

He was cut off as a ferocious roar filled the entire room. Spinning around, Big Macintosh stared in shock as a massive bear creature pulled itself out of a large liquid filled pit.

“…oh crap.”

Come Together

“GET BACK HERE!”

Twilight flung a bone saw toward an overturned table. As it clanged off harmlessly, Time Turner poked his head out.

“And let somepony fondle my liver and spleen? I think not.” He ducked under the table again as another bone saw sailed past him. The stallion stuck his head back out, a taunting grin on his face.
“You have terrible bedside manner, you know that?”

The smile dropped from his face, as the unicorn’s telekinetic aura tossed the table to the side. Time Turner stepped back, dragging the remains of the leather straps with him.

“And now that that little distraction is over wi-”

The necromancer was interrupted at the sound of shattering glass and falling rock. Both ponies turned their attention toward the area of the sound.

“What on Equestria was that?” the unicorn turned her attention back to Time Turner, “Wait…what did your friends do?”

“Honestly, even if they let me in on it, I still wouldn’t tell you.” The stallion shrugged.

“….Subject Seventy three.”

An undead pony stitched together from several ponies and a griffon shambled forward. Its faded rainbow mane flopped around listlessly, as its back talons chipped across the floor.

“Stay here and guard the prisoner.” Twilight Sparkle instructed the undead pony. She shifted her attention to Time Turner, “Do not try to escape. I have more guards.”

The unicorn trotted off to investigate, leaving the undead pony with Time Turner.

“Well that was an astonishing display of genre blindness. Leaving me locked in a room filled with sharp things and only one guard.” Time Turner frowned, “Unless it’s meant for me to assume that it was a display of genre blindness, only for me to fall for an even more insidious trap.
Or is it a subversion?”

The stallion sat down, pondering his predicament.

THE LIBRARY

“Ah ha! Found it.”

Spike looked up from his book. Rarity scanned the pages, mumbling to herself.

“….this is actually a much easier spell than I thought it would be.” Rarity looked up, “I just need something to practice o-”

Her train of thought was cut off by the sound of heavy, lumbering footsteps drawing closer.

“…Spike what’s the largest undead that Twilight has?”

“…Probably the Alicorn she made.” Spike scratched his head. “It’s like six or seven ponies stitched together and it can fly. Somehow.”

“Does it sound like that when it walks?”

“No, it makes clopping noise, why?”

“…Because I think we’re about to meet somepon-”

The door of the room exploded inward as Big Macintosh entered the room. He spun around, slamming the door shut before slumping to the ground.

“Macintosh, what happened?” Rarity trotted over to the stallion. Her eyes widen slightly when she noticed the bleeding nicks and slashes covering his flank.

“Those ain’t as bad as it looks.” The stallion panted, “lil’ love taps. Bleeds more than they should.”

“That still doesn’t tell me what happened.”

“Found Braeburn’s body. Got into a little scrap with some undead guard, and next thing I know, a giant bear started to attack me.”

“A bear?” Spike’s eyes widened in realization, “What did you do?”

Big Macintosh’s gaze flickered to Rarity.

“It’s alright.” Rarity nodded, “He’s helping us.”

“Really?” Big Macintosh glanced back at Spike, “Ain’t he her assistant?”

“She’s a very poor master, as it turns out. Beside, I don’t think he’s trying to trick us.”

“…I’ll take your word for it, Miss Rarity.” The stallion turned his attention back to Spike, “You know what that thing is?”

“Ah…three days ago the science-pirate Heartstrings showed up with an…item.” Spike paused, “See, Twilight needs bodies. The last battle between their forces ended badly, sense Trixie got the jump on her with some undead cattle and buffalo.”

“There’s buffalo out here?” Big Macintosh interrupted.

“No, no, we think that she paid off one of the air-pirates to kidnap some from the west. Anyway, Twilight wanted something…bigger. She wanted an Ursa Major.”

“That’s an Ursa Major?” Big Macintosh’s eyes widened in terror.

“No, it’s an Ursa Minor” Spike corrected him. “We couldn’t get one.”

“That thing’s a baby?” Big Macintosh stared at the dragon in absolute disbelief.

“….how did you get it into the castle?” Rarity pondered.

“It wasn’t easy, we had to chop off a few more of its limbs and-”

A massive paw smashed through the wall, causing rocks to shower onto the occupants of the room. Rarity and Big Macintosh spun around as the Ursa Minor continued to struggle, trying to grab the ponies.

“Spike is there another way out of here?” Rarity backed towards the dragon.

“There’s a secret door that leads to the lab.” Spike ran over to the bookshelf and yanked out one of the books. The wall opened up, revealing a dark, dank corridor. The ponies and dragon rushed down the passage, as the Ursa Minor drove another paw through the wall.

TWILIGHT SPARKLE’S OPERATING ROOM

Time Turner rolled onto his back, rubbing his chin in thought.

“Alright, so this is most likely an attempt to trick me into thinking that she let her guard down, so that I would be tricked into keeping my guard up, even though she had let her guard down, because she anticipated that I would not think that she dropped her guard, so that I would be forced to stay on guard in a situation that doesn’t really need me to be one guard and…Oh no, I’ve gone cross-eyed.”

The stallion sat back up, shaking his head in a vain attempt to clear his thoughts. He turned his attention to the staring pony-griffon.

“So tell me, are there more of you ominously waiting to ambush me if I try to do anything? He jokingly asked. The undead pony-griffon continued to blankly stare at him.
“….I take that as a yes.”

The groaning of stone sliding on stone filled the room. The undead pony turned to look for the source of the sound, only for Big Macintosh’s metallic leg smash its head against the wall.

“That’s th’ only one, right?” Big Macintosh inquired.

“To tell you the truth, I’m not sure.” The two stallions stood in awkward silence, listening for movement or the smell of rot and the bite of preservatives.

“Alright, I think that was the only one.” Time Turner chuckled, “That means I could have escaped earlier.”

“I don’t think that would have been a good idea.” Rarity and Spike trotted out of the secret passage.

“Alright, now can I know the big secret plan?” Time Turner pleaded.

The elements of honesty and generosity exchanged a quick glance and sighed. “I reckon so.”

“Well at this point all of those plans are ruined sense we didn’t see that thing coming.” Rarity agreed.

“Miss Rarity, no pony could have accounted for that.” Big Macintosh countered. He turned his attention to Time Turner and continued, “Well, simply put, I was suppose ta sabotage the machinery that she’d need to do her work, while Miss Rarity would look around for somethin’ that would help us take care o’ the undead that are currently wanderin’ around.”

“Well that sounded simple enough.” Time Turner nodded, “So what happened?”

“She had an Ursa Minor.”

“…wait, what? Time Turner blinked in confusion, “We didn’t see anything like that when we were coming here.”

“It was in some kinda pool o’ preservatives or somethin’. I somehow let it out.” Big Macintosh blushed.

“….You WHAT?!?!” Time Turner’s expression changed to disbelief.

“…well I didn’t know it was there.”

ELSEWHERE IN THE CASTLE

Twilight continued down a hallway, flanked by several undead ponies, griffons and one minotaur. An undead filly, stitched together from several foals, and possessing two pairs of adult pony wings landed in front of Twilight.

“Subject 83, what is your report?”

“Storage facility destroyed.” The filly gurgled. “Subject 823 escape.”

“The Ursa Minor?” Twilight blinked in confusion, “How did it get out?”

“Not know.” The filly shrugged, “too much damage in facility.”

“Damn, there went all my spare parts.” Twilight scratched her head before continuing, “Subject 83, you are to take the other scouts and search for Subject 823. If you find it, do not engage and return to find me.”

“Yes master.”

The filly took off. Twilight turned to the undead Minotaur.

“Subject 662, Gather a unit, and prepare for take down.”

“As you command, master.”

The minotaur lumbered off, as an undead alicorn gracefully strided over towards Twilight’s side. The body of the Alicorn was a mess of patchwork, with abrupt shifts and changes in fur color; the unicorn head possessed white fur, magenta eyes and an electric blue mane, the body was mostly that of a yellow Pegasus mare, with crudely attached replacement hunks of body, giving it a mess of yellow, orange, grey and blue body parts, and a green tail, and finally the legs were that of an Pink earth pony.

“Master Twilight.”

“Subject 27.”

“I do not believe that this is the safest course of action to take. Your two other guests, and Subject 1 are missing.”

“The other two are nothing to be concerned about. My guards shall be more than enough to deal with them.” Twilight paused, “as for Spike, I have been considering breaking him down for spare parts. I need more…loyal servants, such as you, Subject 27.”

“Still, Master” the Alicorn paused, “It is best to be cautious.”

“I know that you pile of rejected pig slop.” Twilight snapped, “that is why I am calling everyone ba-”

Something smashed into the cobblestones in front of Twilight. The front half of an undead filly struggled to pull itself into a sitting position.

“It comes.” The filly wheezed before collapsing back to the ground. Twilight blinked.

“Where is Subject 662?” Twilight inquired.

“Subject 662 shall return shortly.” An undead pony responded. “In the meantime, Subjects 22, 92, 302, 444, and 291 have vanished.”

“Subject 321 reports that there is massive damage to the library and the secret passage has been opened.” another Undead pony chimed in.

“…Subject 27, I want you to gather Subjects 3, 88, 95 and 391, and prepare for combat.” Twilight ordered the alicorn. The Alicorn bowed.

“As you command.” The alicorn rose and trotted off. Twilight turned her attention back to the other undead ponies.
“Subjects 342, 222, and 839, go forward, and prepare to hold off the Ursa. Subject 249, come with me. The rest of you assist in delaying the Ursa.”

Twilight turned around and trotted off, followed by a six-legged Griffon-Unicorn.

“Well, this is certainly going poorly. I should have just captured them as soon as they got here, and then none of this would be happening.” Twilight blinked, “Unless… they’re only a distraction and Trixie has sent someone more competent and dangerous to actually perform the act of sabotage.”
Twilight blinked again, “Yes! That must be it. Those aren’t the real Elements of Harmony; those must be doubles, or fakes. I knew there was something suspicious about an earth pony being the Element of Magic.”
Twilight smugly puffed out her chest before continuing, “So now I believe that it is best to prepare for more competent individuals.
Unless….” Twilight’s eyes widened in realization, “Unless they’re purposely acting like that to throw me off, and fool me into thinking that they’re less competent, while they really are competent and preparing to finish their work as they make me worry about ponies who aren’t even here…..”

A roar shattered Twilight’s train of thought. Spinning around, Twilight watched in surprise as several undead ponies were torn apart by a massive claw.

“….well. That’s not a good thing.” Twilight turned to the griffon-unicorn, “Subject 249! Hold it off!”

Twilight turned around and fled, as the griffon-unicorn darted forward. The Ursa smashed the undead with a swing of its paw. Other undead ponies appear, in a vain attempt to battle the Ursa. While some of the dead manage to deal minor stab or slash wounds, the Ursa is able to shrug it all off, and destroy its assailants.

“At least its destructive power is very impressive.”

TWILIGHT SPARKLE’S OPERATING ROOM

“…and that’s how we should do it.” Time Turner concluded.

“…..Time Turner, that’s absolutely ridiculous.” Rarity shook her head.

“Do you have a better idea, Miss Rarity?” Big Macintosh countered, “I reckon it’s worth a try.”

“…If this backfires…” Rarity began, before Time Turner interrupted her.

“It won’t.” Time Turner smiled, “Trust me.”

“…let’s do it.” Rarity nodded.

Dead on Time

Big Macintosh, Spike and Time Turner continued down the hallway. The three nervously glanced around, staring at the splattered remains of ponies and the black blood that stained the walls.

“This ain’t right.” Big Macintosh stepped around a puddle of blood, “I mean, desecratin’ the bodies o’ the deceased is one thing, havin’m fight to the…second death is too much.”

“You really don’t know Twilight.” Spike shook his head, “I’ll never get her to admit it, but her ego is just as big as Trixie’s and she really can’t stand being shown up.”

“How exactly did it end up with…this?” Time Turner stepped to the side to avoid corpse parts falling off the ceiling. “I mean, I’m absolutely certain both of them didn’t wake up one morning and say ‘Hey, I know what I’ll do today, I’ll start bringing the dead to life to battle with that pony I hate.’ Right?”

“….Twilight never told me the whole story, but I…pay attention to some of the documents she orders me to destroy.” Spike sighed, “Do you really want me to tell you what happened?”

“…I reckon so.”

“Both Twilight and Trixie got accepted to Princess Celestia Memorial Magic School. Both of them excelled in many of their subjects and that’s how this mess began.
Trixie managed to show up Twilight in one of the magic demonstrations, and Twilight couldn’t stand to be upstaged by her. Both of them kept trying to learn new spell after new spell, until….they both opened a forbidden book.”
Spike paused, “and that’s what happened.”

“It wasn’t the Book of Keshi, was it?” Time Turner inquired.

“How did….” Spike started, before nearly losing his balance in the pulped remains of an organ.

“I heard about it in my studies. Royalist forces were believed to have destroyed the book in the Civil War, to prevent the rebels from using it.” Time Turner stepped around a puddle, “guess they didn’t.”

“…how in Equestria did they let a couple o’ kids get their hands on what sounds like a forbidden book o’ magic?” Big Macintosh shook his head.

“…You know, that’s an excellent question.” Time Turner nodded in agreement. “…although I am unfamiliar with the Lulamoon family, I know the Sparkles have been treated well in the Kingdom, so that might be how she got access to it.”

“..How would you know somethin’ like that?”

“Sometimes when I was bored, I read some of my father’s notes from his meetings. Some of them were from well placed spies in the Kingdom, but I never really got to see all of their reports, just bits and pieces.” Time Turner shrugged.

“….Are we getting closer?” Spike gingerly stepped around a puddle, “because it looks like the blood and gore is getting thicker.”

“I would hope so.” Time Turner responded, “However, I want to wait. To make sure it’s the right time. A lot of this is relying on Rarity’s ability to maximize that particular spell’s power, and the more time the Ursa spends battling Twilight’s other undead forces, the less effort we will have to put into it.” Time Turner blinked, “Erm, no offense to you, Spike.”

“It’s fine. I…don’t see them as a family or anything. Outside of Subject 27, most of them are limited to simple statements.”

“…Subject 27?” Big Macintosh winced as he stepped on a rotted liver. “…Hope I can clean that outta the metal.”

“The undead Alicorn.” Spike stepped around another puddle, “She considers it her greatest weapon, sense it can still learn and plan. I can do that and more, but she likes the Alicorn better because it doesn’t talk back and argue with her.”

“….hmm, I didn’t really plan for that.” Time Turner frowned, “she has minotaurs, right?”

“Some. She made some minocentaurs out of them. Subject 888 has….” Spike paused to count on his fingers, “Three pairs of arms.”

“Do any of them have firearms?”

“She bought a few of the older matchlocks off of the luftpirat and Science-Pirate, but other than that, not really.” Spike scoffed, “Ammunition and gunpowder is another thing. She has enough for all of the firearms to shoot…two or three shots before she runs out for good. And we’re running short of Matchstrings for them.”

“I suppose her frugality paid off.” Time Turner snickered

“Eyup.”

THE LABORATORY OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Rarity remained seated, studying the book she had found.

“….Alright so this should work.” Rarity flipped a few pages, “…and this is the other spell I need, so if I put these together, it should come out alright.”

The mechanic closed the book, and headed into the secret tunnel.

ELSEWHERE IN CASTLE SPARKLE

The Ursa slammed another undead griffon through the wall. Twilight peeked out of her hiding spot, before ducking back down to avoid a shower of rotting griffon.

“Well there went my last griffon.” The necromancer grumbled, “After this, I’m going to put in a very large order.”

“Master. We have returned.”

Subject 27 arrived, flanked by a Minocentaur with Six arms, each of which carried a Wheelock pistol, a two-headed Griffon-Pony, a monstrous looking mish-mash of various animal parts, a Bear-pony combination, and several others.

“That’s excellent Subject 27. Now why don’t you lead them to defeat the giant bear that keeps WRECKING MY CASTLE?!!?” Twilight’s eyelid twitched as she screamed at the undead Alicorn.

“As you command.”

Several of the Minotaur-based undead step forward, aiming their rifles and pistols at the Ursa. Several of them open fire, peppering the beast in insignificant amounts of lead. As they stop to reload, the Ursa swings at them, tearing several of them in half. The top halves feebly continue to reload their weapons as the others open fire and scatter. As the Ursa lumbered after the other shooters, it crushed the bisected undead under its feet.

“Master, how many of us remain?” Subject 27 inquired.

“I don’t know.” Twilight frowned, “In retrospect, I should have taken the spell off before I sealed it up.”

“Master, that was very unwise of you.” The Alicorn ducked, “Subject 444 is no more. There are only a handful of us left within the castle, and nothing seems to have worked. Could you not use a spell to assist us?”

“I would need to get to the library to get the spell book.” Twilight glanced down the damaged hallway, “But I’m not certain I would be able to make it in time.”

“We shall prote-”

“And there it i- OH MY LUNA DUCK!” Time Turner, Spike and Big Macintosh hit the floor as corpse parts flew over them, showering the three with rotting blood and gore.

“….I’m gonna need one hell of a bath at th’ end of alla this.”

“Subject 54, draw it off!” a multi-winged donkey rammed into the Ursa’s face, and darted off, drawing the bear away. The Unicorn turned her attention towards the undead dragon, “SPIKE! What are you doing? Why are you with them? Why is he free?”

“well…They said the Ursa got out and they said they would help.” Spike twiddled his fingers as he kept his head down.

“Help? HELP?” Both of Twilight’s eyes began to twitch, as she screeched, “It was THEM who let the Ursa out! How can you expect them to help?!?!”

“Well…” Twilight cut Spike off, as she continued to ramble.

“Once I clean up this, I’m tearing you apart for parts.” The mare snared at the dragon.

“Beg your pardon Ma’am, but I reckon you’re gonna be needing our help.” Big Macintosh interrupted.

“Oh?” Twilight sneered, “And what makes an ignorant backasswards bumpkin like you think that I need it?”

“Cause the ignorant backasswards bumpkin can see th’ Ursa chargin’. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re getting’ outta here.”

Big Macintosh tossed Spike onto his back and took off, closely followed by Time Turner. Twilight blinked in confusion. Before she can ask Subject 27 anything, her thoughts are interrupted by a roar. Glancing behind her shoulder, Twilight’s eyes widened as the Ursa lumbered behind her. Twilight and Subject 27 took off, following Big Macintosh and the Time Turner.

“Alright, so what do you have in mind?” Twilight forced a smile.

“Now ya want help?” Big Macintosh chuckled, “If I was a lesser stallion, I wouldn’t bother, but…. Well, it’ll benefit botha us.”

“Just get on with it.” Twilight gritted her teeth.

“Well, we gotta wear it down a bit more.” Time Turner interjected.

“I’m out.” Twilight grumbled. “What else?”

Big Macintosh glanced over his shoulder; one of the Ursa’s eyes has been pulped, and it is covered in gouges and tears. As it lumbered forward, Big Macintosh’s eyes fell to its left shoulder, and the various metal plates and wires holding its arm in place.

“What’s wrong with its left forepaw?”

“It broke off during transport. Or so they claim.” Twilight growled.

“…Big Macintosh, do you think if something heavy enough fell on it, we could break it off?” Time Turner turned to the stallion.

“Hmm.” Big Macintosh stole a glance at the Ursa, “…Reckon it’s possible. If it ain’t on too good, th’ constant use from smashin’ and lumberin’ around outta have weakened it.”

“alright, keep an eye out for things we can knock onto it.” Time Turner blinked, “This would be so much easier if Rarity was here wouldn’t it? I mean she could just levitate those crumbling pil-”

“Just wait a minute!” Twilight interrupted the two stallions, “Are you discussing wrecking my castle just so you can try and stop my newest body? I refuse to allow you to do that!”

The stallion exchanged glances, “Fine.” Time Turner managed to shrug, “we’ll just let the Ursa rampage through your castle, so it will no doubt cause more damage than dropping a few walls onto it.
Oh, and you might die, but as long as the castle stays up….”

“Shut up and do it.” Twilight gritted her teeth.

“…Master, I am not certain that this is wise.” Subject 27 objected.

“Shut up and do as I command.” Twilight barked back, barely keeping her anger out of her voice, “I don’t like it either….”

Big Macintosh skidded to a stop by a crumbling wall.

“Think this’ll work?” the stallion called out to Time Turner. The Element of Magic simply nodded instead of responding.

The Farmstallion spun around, bucking the wall as hard as he could. As the vibrations crawled up that wall, the gathered ponies watched in anticipation as the loose rubble shook…and a single rock fell, missing the ursa.

“….well, that seemed like it would have worked.” Time Turner shook his head.

“…I think I mighta strained something.” Big Macintosh winced.

“Well that was a magnificent plan you came up with. Honestly, why did I even bother listening to you?” Twilight snapped, “Of all the stupid id-”

Twilight cut off her rant as the Ursa roared and continued to lumber towards them.

“…Any other plans, Turner?” Big Macintosh backed up.

“Just one.” Time Turner paused to take a breath, “RUN!”

The group spun around and took off, as the Ursa took off after them.

“…wait, what am I doing?” Twilight blinked, “Subject 27! Fly me out of here.”

“I an unable to do so, Master.” The undead alicorn shook it’s head, “the Ursa tore off one of my wings.”

“Dammit! Carry me out of here, my legs are tired!” Twilight screeched. The undead alicorn grabbed Twilight by the scruff of her neck and tossed her onto its back. The necromancer yelped in pain as her flank landed on the exposed bones from the alicorn’s missing wing.

“This is not happening, this is not happening…” Time Turner continued to mutter to himself as the group fled. Big Macintosh winced as he continued to run.

“Oh no….” Time Turner skidded to a stop. “Dead end.”

The group skidded to a stop. Each of their faces changed from desperation to despair as the gravity of the situation sunk in.

“…Aw hell.” Big Macintosh shook his head, “This wasn’t suppose to end like this.”

“….I don’t want to go.” Time Turner collapsed wimpering.

“Subject 27! Fight. You too Spike.”

“But…”

“NO BUTS!” Twilight’s aura surrounded the dragon and flung him forward. The Ursa opened its mouth and swallowed the baby dragon whole, as the Alicron made a futile charge. A single swipe from the Ursa left the Alicorn pulped against the wall.

“…It can’t end like this.” Twilight became frantic as the Ursa lumbered forward, “nononononononononononononononono-”

“They say the heroine descends at the last possible second.” Another voice called out. Rarity stepped out into the open.

“RARITY!” Time Turner leapt back onto his hooves.

“Stay where you are, I’m still not certain this will work.”

Rarity’s scrunched her face in concentration, focusing on the Ursa.

“…Rest in peace.”

A burst of magical energy from Rarity’s horn engulfed the Ursa. As it struggled against the magic, it began to dissolve; skin faded into muscle, faded into bone and organs until the entire Ursa vanished.
As the magical aura dissipated, a single clockwork arm fell to the ground. Rarity collapsed panting.

“….that was exhausting.” The mechanic struggled back onto her feet. “I’m terribly sorry; I had to dig my way out of the library.”

“It’s alright, it worked out in th’ end.” Big Macintosh managed a slight grin, “and the other part o’ the plan?”

“I disassembled everything that looked useful.” Rarity answered.

“For a moment I really thought we were going to die.” Time Turner breathed a sigh of relief, “I guess that’s all done, now we can…”

“WAIT JUST A MOMENT!” Twilight slammed a hoof down. “You tricked me into letting you enter, you destroyed my supplies and army, wrecked my Castle and now you expect to get out of here al-”

Rarity’s wrench clocked Twilight across the head. The unicorn dropped like a sack of bricks onto the hard floor.

“I have had a horrible night, do shut up.” Rarity informed the unconscious unicorn. “Big Macintosh, what happened to Braeburn’s body?”

“…musta gotten loss in the chaos. Reckon it’s probably pulp.”

“Oh, yes. I saw the…ah, path you left.” Rarity’s nose wrinkled, “I could hardly miss that.”

“…Well, we got one piece of business left.” Time Turner nodded, “and I have a plan to deal with that……”

“….one that ain’t gonna end in us almost dyin’, I hope.” Big Macintosh snarked.

“Not likely.”

CASTLE LULAMOON

The three Elements stopped in front of the castle, flanked by scores of undead ponies. In front of them, Trixie smiled.

“I have already heard news of your victory. Castle Sparkle remains in ruins, and my enemy is in no shape to continue our conflict.” Trixie’s smile grew, “and for your rewa-

“oh, indeed.” Time Turner cut her off. Trixie’s smile vanished as Time Turner continued, “now we’ll just be on our….did you say reward?”

“Turner, she’s gonna let us go home with our lives, don’t push it.” Big Macintosh grumbled.

“as I was saying…” Trixie smile returned as she continued, “and now for your reward; the honor and privilege of joining my undead army for all of eternity.”

“….what.” Time Turner blinked.

“…you never intended for us ta leave alive, did you?” Big Macintosh took a defensive step back.

“Indeed. Why should I lose such valued…assistants? Certainly having three of the elements of Harmony on my side would be of great value.”

“….is this all of your undead forces?” Rarity piped up.

“Indeed.” Trixie’s chest puffed out in, as she vainly smiled, “I don’t know how you defeated Twilight’s forces, but now you face one Five hundred stro-”

“Rest in peace.” A magical pulse erupted from Rarity’s horn, spreading through the entire area. All of the undead began to dissolve, layer by layer until nothing was left. Trixie stared in shock as her army vanished.

“You…You betrayed me!” Trixie angrily shouted.

“You’re the one who was trying to back out of our deal.” Time Turner interjected.

“I will not stand for thi-” Trixie was cut off as Big Macintosh, leapt forward, and delivered a left hook. The crunch of metal on bone was heard, as Trixie tumbled backwards, unconscious. Big Macintosh trotted over and checked on the mare.

“…she’s alright. Mighta knocked out some teeth.”

“I’m certain she deserved tha-” Rarity swayed before teetering over. Time Turner managed to make it to her side, allowing the Unicorn to rest on his back.

“Are you alright?” Time Turner worriedly inquired.

“No, No I’m not. That’s quite a powerful spell. Certainly took a lot out of me.” Rarity yawned.

“Can you walk?” Time Turner asked the mare. When he was given no response, Time Turner looked over to Big Macintosh, “I think we should find a cart.”

“Eyup.”

...and I feel fine

THE DODGE CITY-PONYVILLE RAILWAY

Big Macintosh and Rarity gazed out the window, while Time Turner snoozed away on the seat next to Big Macintosh. Rarity shifted her gaze to the floor and bit her lip, uncertain about something.

“Bit for your thoughts.” Big Macintosh interrupted the mechanic’s train of thought.

“Oh. Just…” Rarity sighed, “This is not the sort of life I’ve expect to have. I mean, Nightmare Moon, becoming one of the Elements of Harmony, Sky Pirates, and….undead ponies. I’ve seen things I think I could have done without.”

“Miss Rarity...”

“Please, you can drop the ‘miss’ part, Big Macintosh.” Rarity interrupted him.

“Right,” Big Macintosh politely nodded before continuing, “Rarity, th’ would is fulla fantastic things. We got a city in th’ clouds, technology that is greater than anythin’ that came before us, we’ve found distant lands, amazin’ ponies and other beings, an’ we got things that I reckon we haven’t even seen yet.”
He motioned out the window, “I mean I know what that is. But on o’ these days I’d like to go to Plumerania, Taishushima, and hell, maybe even the Kingdom.
But marvels like that always come with a dark side.”

“He’s right you know.” Time Turner yawned and sat up, “My father would tell me that the world is a wondrous place full of things that will astonish and disgust you. But it is not safe, nor is it kind. If you can’t stand a little bloody nose, you best crawl back under your bed sheets. You must face it, and while doing so, you shall conquer it.” Time Turner smiled before he continued, “My father was right, I would like to add. If I had not taken the offer he gave me I would not be sitting here, discussing this with you splendid fellows.”

“…I suppose. I just do not feel that I am…worthy of such privilege.” Rarity returned her gaze to the window, “out of the many ponies in the Republic, why me?”

“Average ponies are sometimes destined for great things, that’s what my father would say.” Time Turner shifted in his seat.

“Rarity, how do you think I feel?” Big Macintosh chuckled, “how do you think the others feel? None of us were that important before this, and now we are.”

Rarity sighed and the cabin fell back into silence.

“Thank you.” Rarity smiled at the two stallions, “Sometimes I just…doubt myself.”

“Self-doubt is sometimes a fine thing. It lets us know what our limits are and how we may push pass them.” Time Turner smiled back.

“Eyup.” Big Macintosh nodded.

The cabin once again grew silent as the group watched the passing flora and fauna.

PONYVILLE TRAIN STATION

The Three ponies stepped out of the train and onto the platform.

“Well we didn’t really tell them what time we were coming back, did we?” Time Turner shrugged, “Oh well. It’s not like we needed a welco-”

“Hey! There they are.” a stallion’s voice called out, interrupting Time Turner’s train of thought.

A dark grey pegasus stallion with a blue-silver mane trotted over, followed by a yellow unicorn mare with a blue mane. The unicorn smiled at the other three.

“Welcome home.” The pegasus grinned

“It’s fantastic to see you again, Lemon Hearts. You too, Tunderlane.” Time Turner responded.

“Everything ended up the way you hoped?” Lemon Hearts inquired.

“…Not quite.” Big Macintosh chuckled.

“Anyway, you better go back to the farm, Mac.” The element of Kindness jerked his head back toward the town, “Your sister and CT are really goin’ at it. I tried to intervene, but it’s not working so well.”

“…I can’t leave’m alone for five days without th’ two of them findin’ somethin’ th’ fight over…” The stallion grumbled, “Lead th’ way.”

The two stallions trotted off. Lemon Hearts shrugged, “I took care of your work while you were gone. Cheerilee’s a little annoyed, but still.”

“Thank you.” Time Turner politely nodded.

“And for that,” the Element of Laughter’s smile transformed into a frown, “You own me something.”

“What’s that?” Time Turner took a step backwards, “This entire trip has been full of ponies asking for favors.”

“Tell me what happened over lunch.” Lemon Hearts’s smile returned, “Your treat.”

“…I suppose that’s fair.” The stallion nodded in agreement.

“I thought you would agree.” Lemon Hearts turned her attention to Rarity, “Dizzy’s house.”

“Thank you.”

The three ponies trotted off in different directions. Rarity continued through town, stopping in front of a slightly rundown two story cottage. Rarity knocked on the door. It opened inwards and a young gray unicorn filly with a yellow mane peeked out.

“Oh, hello Dinky. Is Dizzy Twister home?” Rarity asked.

Before the filly could respond, an orange pegasus filly with a purple mane popped up next to her, forcing the door open.

“Hi Rarity!” the pegasus smiled, “Thanks for letting Sweetie Belle stay over with us for the last few days.”

“Hello Scootaloo. Did the three of you have a good time?” Rarity smiled back at the filly.

“Yep!” Scootaloo grinned, “We accidently knocked over the fountain in the middle of the town, and blew a hole in the library.”

Rarity blinked. “…..You what?” Rarity stared at the filly in disbelief.

“It was her idea and she always has bad ones.” Dinky grumbled.

“That’s not true! I have some good ones!” Scootaloo countered. Before Dinky could argue back, an older mare’s voice called out from further inside of the house.

“Who is it, girls?” the door opened more and a khaki colored pegasus mare with a two-toned pink mane poked her head out, “Oh, Rarity. You’re back.” The mare turned her attention to the two fillies, “Girls, tell Sweetie Belle to pack her stuff so she can go home.”

The two fillies ran off, as the pegasus breathed a sigh of relief.

“…Not a moment too soon.” The pegasus muttered.

“Was it that bad, Dizzy Twister?” Rarity continued, “Scootaloo said something about blowing a hole in the library. How on equestria did they manage that?”

“….you would not believe me if I told you how she managed that.” the Element of Loyalty shook her head at the memory of the incident, “Lemony took it rather well, but I still promised her to pay for the renovations.”

“…ah, I owe you something for taking care of Sweetie Belle on such short notice.” Rarity began to dig through her saddle.

“Oh, don’t worry about that” Dizzy Twister waved away the thought with her hoof, “I’m always glad to. Even if they do try and destroy half of Ponyville every time they ge-”

“Ah, Here it is.” Rarity dropped a bag of gold onto the ground. “I believe that should be more than enough for the renovations and for taking care of Sweetie Belle.”

Dizzy opened the bag and peeked inside. Her eyes widened in shock and she quickly closed the bag. “Rarity, I can’t accept this much.”

“Nonsense, I owe you for the last time, and the last time we went to the spa together.” Rarity shook her head. “I know you’re having some, ah, financial problems, so just take it. Please.”

“No, I feel like I’m taking advantage of your generosity.” Dizzy shook her head, “Where did you even get all this?”

“It’s a long story and possibly illegal.” Rarity shrugged, “it involves a few wanted fugitives and the desecration of earthly remains.”

Dizzy Twister blinked in confusion, “….I beg your pardon?”

“It’s perfectly fine.” Rarity quickly responded, “It’s legitimate Republic money, although there might be some griffon marks and Kingdom bits, but you can get those exchanged.”

“….Alright.” Dizzy Twister gave Rarity a wary look as she pulled the bag into the house. “If you insis-”

“HI RARITY!” a new filly’s voice echoed through the house.
A light grey filly with a mulberry and grey rose streaked mane bounded out the door, and grinned at Rarity.

“Did you have a good time?” Rarity asked the filly.

“YEP!” Sweetie Belle bounced in excitement.

“Thank Miss Dizzy before we go home.” Rarity reminded Sweetie Belle.

“Thank you Miss Dizzy!” Sweetie Belle beamed.

“You’re welcome Sweetie Belle, come back anytime.” Dizzy Twister’s smiled dropped for a moment, “Just don’t destroy anypony else’s property, next time.”

“…We apologized to Miss Lemon Hearts.” Sweetie Belle sulked as she and Rarity turned to leave.

THE MECHANICAL BOUTIQUE

Rarity placed her pack on her table and collapsed onto her fainting couch. She took a deep breath, taking in the scent of oil, grease and other mechanical lubricants.

“And now, I can finally relax.”
Rarity closed her eyes for a moment, “Maybe I should head to th-”

“Rarity, what’s this?”

Rarity opened her eyes as Sweetie Belle trotted over. Engulfed in the filly’s magical aura were the remains of Spike’s mechanical arm.

“Oh…that is something to remind me of a friend.”

“…Seems like a weird gift.” Sweetie Belle frowned.

“It’s not the gift, Sweetie, it’s about the memories,” Rarity’s plucked the arm out of Sweetie Belle’s aura with her own magical aura; “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

ONE DAY LATTER

Time Turner trotted down the street, a letter in his mouth. Lemon Hearts and Big Macintosh followed him. The elements of generosity and laughter exchanged a quick glance with one another, before Lemon Hearts spoke.

“You know, I could just carry it with my magic.”

“nuh Hiss hohay.” Time Turner smiled and continued to speak, “hy huhnt hink hit hathers hat huht.”

“….Y’know for a scholar you do some pretty silly things at times.” Big Macintosh shook his head.

“hohen. Hut’s hu hoint huh hart hif hyu hant he huhish hunhimes?” Time Turner continued.

“……” Lemon Hearts and Big Macintosh glanced at each other and shrugged.

“Here he har!” Time Turner pushed open the door to the Mechanical Boutique. Rarity glanced up for a moment before returning to her work on a prosthetic limb.

“Time Turner. Can I help you with something?”

“Plah!” Time Turner spat out the letter, “I got a response from the Government. And I think I got a paper cut on my tongue.”

“Well? What does it say?” Rarity inquired, never looking up from her work.

“Let’s wait for…” Time Turner paused as Big Macintosh and Lemon Hearts entered the room, “well, let’s find out.” Time Turner tore open the letter and unfolded it.

Dear Time Turner.
It’s wonderful to hear from you again, especially since the whole Nightmare Moon thing. Your father is less than thrilled to find out that you nearly died, but he’s just being a good parent. That and Funerals are expensive.
In the meantime, Aerial scouts have confirmed the information that you have sent to us, and have reported seeing two ponies that match the description of Twilight Sparkle and Trixie Lulamoon. However, seeing that the situation with the Kingdom has changed, we are currently more focused on national security and making sure our allies are prepared or preparing for the worst case scenario.
At the same time, if things are as you described them, then neither of the ponies should be able to menace Deadwood or any of the surrounding area for some time. Once an opportunity presents itself, we shall seek to take care of those little problems.

Ciao,

Discord, Eternal Advisor for the Republic of Equestria.

PS: Tell the other Elements that I hope they’re doing well.

PPS: let the one on the weather team know that I plan on sending another chocolate rain storm to Ponyville sometime on Thursday, just because I haven’t sent on in a while.

PPPS: On second thought, make that Friday. Who doesn’t like to kick back after a hard week’s of work, and enjoy a nice cool glass of freshly fallen chocolate milk?