Lord Xenu and His Ultimate Take Over of Ponyville!

by CrimsonEquine

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Gore, Crossover, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Pinkie Pie, Sex
Length: 1186

nununununununu

Nununununununununu( I lord Xenu shall take over the land that I created with my powers of persuasion!) Nunununununu( My power is absolute and I am the lord of all things espicially this planet!) Nuuuuu nuuuu( I am infinite!!!) Nuunuu ( All shall bow to the power of the Xenu and his sexy army!).

Published 2012-11-17 17:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-17 17:00:01 UTC

Nunununu

Vooosh! went the Starcraft as it accelerated out of Hyper Space. The spaceship was huge with multiple wings and thrusters that were the size of a small nation. It populated numerous species of aliens who were all Thetans as well as his intergalactic hoes in the alien brothel of his ship. There in the cockpit of the ship sat in his throney throne, the great and powerful Lord Xenu!

"Nunuunuu?" (Holy shit nigga have we reached the land of sparkled ponies Thetan?) said Lord Xenu as he sat on his galactic throne aboard the cockpit of the massive star destroyer that he actually made with his mind.

"Yes Lord Xenu we have arrived on the planet of Equestria!" said the Thetan right next to a data screen piloting the space craft.

"Nunununuu" (Great it is time to harness the Ponies and their power for our devises, Quickly land the star destroyer and all the other ships that look like DC-8 except with rocket engines)

"Yes mon fuhrer the ponies will get what we came for"

"Nununununununu" (We must spread the holy word of marijuana towards all the pony niggas) said Lord Xenu on his pimped out throne while he was getting head from an alien that looked exactly like Megan Fox.

Lord Xenu thus strutted to the tele-porter along with some Thetan bitches to travel towards the planet of Equestria.

Lord Xenu and his bitches and hoes came upon Sugar Cube Corner to see Pinkie Pie being all crazy and shit. Lord Xenu offered the blunt of marijuana to Pinkie Pie which she accepted with insanity. She grabbed the blunt while a doing a handstand on top of a nigga balloon that would not pop for some reason. She smoked the dark Xenu blend of marijuana and felt an ecstasy that has been never known to pony kind so then in response with her crazy ass began to suck on Lord Xenu's dick. Lord Xenu could not express his gratitude to the amount of sucking he was feeling on his member. Pinkie Pie really got at Lord Xenu's tentacle dick and she started to throw-up sugar all over it since it had unstable particles that weren't meant for ponykind. She then exploded into a shower of Stars of David. Then seeing there lord and master Lord Xenu, the jews thus began to rape the alien bitches and it was very offensive don't you think? They smelled the Stars of David and blood of a virgin pony. Then the jews went to Poundcake in Sugar Cube Corner to circumcise with a chainsaw.

They then accidentally killed Poundcake by missing his penis by an inch and cutting him in half in the most brutal ass way.

50 cent then went to Rarity and raped her in the butt-hole for the lol'z and the sexiness. Then T-pain came and gang banged them with his penis coming out of his butt-hole. Then all the black people just died for I fucking hate them fucking niggers. And then all the black people died because god hates those goddamn niggers. Lol who honestly cares about them anyway. And then Celestia uses her nigger black magic to bring back nine-eleven then she used the 9/11 nigger spell to blow it up again because nine-eleven is funny. At the end

Even them Angry Birds hate the niggers in America for life. Klu Klux Klan for lif3, hail satan. There is a recipe for cleaning our problem with niggers and jews.  Take Styrofoam and mix it with gasoline put dat shit into a bottle like my black parents and then put a rag down it. And then light those niggers up.

Youtube Video

This is the anthem of our holy cause.

1 box of pseudo-ephedrine pills, 1 Cold-Compress pack, a bottle of lye crystals, 2 AA energizer lithium batteries, Coleman fuel, Iodized salt, sulfuric acid or Muriatic acid, 2 20oz bottles, coffee filters, a clear hose about 6 - 12" long, funnel, 2 Pint Mason jars, and lineman pliers.

first off, make sure your working in a clean and safe area. Clean both of the 20oz bottles with some paper towels and a clothes hanger, rinse with Coleman fuel, and repeat. You want the bottles to be clean as possible to make clean dope.

After you clean one bottle, use your funnel and one coffee filter and put 8oz of Coleman fuel in the bottle. Then, using your lineman pliers, obtain the lithium metal from the batteries, tear them small balls and put them in your fuel. After you get both your lithium strips in, add 3 tablespoons of crushed Ammonia nitrate from the cold compress pack, and 3 tablespoons of lye crystals. Shake the bottle and get a reaction going. After you get a good reaction add your crushed pseudo-ephedrine and let it cook for 45 minutes to an hour. Burping the bottle when it get tight. refrain from shaking the bottle in the during the last 15 minutes of the cook.

Their should be a good amount of copper "b.b.s" floating with your lithium strips. this is a good sign your cook is close to finished. Clean out the mason jar you have ready, and use 3-4 filters to filter off your cook into the mason jar.

Now its time to make a smoke bottle, either using sulfuric acid or Muriatic acid. Clean the 20oz bottle like before, and make a hole in the cap big enough for your hose. if your using sulfuric acid, add 1 tablespoon of salt to the bottle and just a couple drops of sulfuric acid. If your using Muriatic acid, put 3-4 balls of aluminum foil in the bottle and a couple drops of Muriatic acid. Put the hose right above your fuel in the mason jar and watch the dope drop.

Hit it with the smoke a couple times and stir it up until it doesn't drop anymore, then filter this into another mason jar, and you got your first pull in the filter. dry it out and test it. then take the fuel you poured off and put it back in the cook bottle. cook it for about 30 minutes and try for a second pull.

You should yield about a gram, to a gram and a half of Methamphetamine. Then Lord Xenu after conquering filthy black niggers and jews and raped every female and male pony in Equestria especially Princess Luna who is his sex slave. He then focused his entire army of homosexual Thetans to an even greater threat to the free white race, The Bronies!

Lord Xenu then put all bronies into a gay homosexual concentration camp and died horribly for Bronies are gay, and gay people should have no rights. He then killed all of the british people because they were all gay and died when America pulled out of their bitch asses in world war 2. God hates british people and muslims, the queen of England was a dumb fat bitch. It was funny that the british released an Al-Queda member because the Al-Queda are awesome.