Sneezing Luna Doting Tia

by Wasabi-beans

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 18865

Luna has the cold, and Celestia acts all matronly which drives Luna crazy.

Luna has the cold, which activates Celestia's matronly instincts. Which drives Luna crazy.

New cover image courtesy of http://www.fimfiction.net/user/BlackLal.
Luna-rrrrrrrrrrrito!
Previous image: http://fav.me/d5tedm6

Published 2013-05-18 19:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-20 18:12:47 UTC

Royal Canterlot Schnoz

Celestia, in the late evening, peacefully sat on her throne, signing some letters and bills levitated by her trusty, bespectacled, white unicorn secretary, Page Turner.

But she could hear the frigid winds blowing outside of the castle. Even snow was beginning to form around the windows and spires.

"Page Turner," said Celestia.

"Yes, Princess?" said Page Turner.

"Was winter supposed to be coming earlier this year?"

"Umm, no, Princess. Would you like to inquire with the weather department about it?"

"I would like that very much, Page Turner. Just make an appointment for me in due time,"

"Of course, Princess,"

And Celestia continued signing the papers, business as usual.

And that's when she heard it.

"HAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!!!"

This caused Page Turner to jump in fright, "Oh my goodness! What was that!? It sounded like some horrible monster had a sneeze!"

"My sister," said Celestia sternly, standing straight up and getting off her throne.

"Princess Luna!?" Page Turner exclaimed, now even more frightened, "I'm so sorry, Princess Celestia, I didn't mean-"

But Celestia paid no attention to her, her eyes blazed with a rare passion, "The Royal Canterlot Sneeze has returned. My little sister needs me,"

And she blazed off like a comet, leaving Page Turner's mane singed, and unfortunately, most of the paper on fire.

"AARGH!! The papers! The bills! NOOOO!!"

Though the weather was getting chillier by the minute, Celestia managed to pinpoint the source of the Royal Canterlot Sneeze as she flew in the open air .

She saw Luna, and her own personal assistant, Spoken Softly, on the grounds, with a row of her Night Guards. Celestia was well aware that though the Night Guard had its own captains and supervisors, Luna preferred to personally conduct weekly inspections.

And in front of the Night Guards, was a line of literally ripped earth, as if a beam of power forced the dirt, snow and grass off of it.

She landed on the ground, and the Night Guards immediately stood more upright than before. Luna had her tail to her sister, staring uncomfortably close at a Night Guard and not budging.

Celestia noticed Spoken Softly, the large, yellow male pegasus with pink mane and tail and a double bass cutie mark, looking quite flustered, as if hiding something.

"Good evening, my sister," said Celestia, pleasantly, and nodded to Spoken, who nervously nodded back.

"Good evening to you as well," said Luna rather curtly, and Celestia detected an almost muffled sound to it.

"Are you alright, Luna?" said Celestia more gently, "I heard The Royal Canterlot Sneeze, and came down as soon as I could,"

"A bit of dust flew my way and I sneezed, but that was all, sister!" snapped Luna, "You may return to your business, as per usual!"

"Then let me see your face first," said Celestia.

Luna practically dug her face deeper into her starry mane. "No,"

Celestia put on her big sister voice, "Luna..."

"...Promise you will not embarrass me in front of our subjects..."

"I promise," said Celestia matronly.

And Luna turned around to show her face. And immediately regretted it.

Celestia saw Luna's snout was a bright, glowing red, with her eyes slightly watery.

Luna has the cold.

"Oh...! My little sister...!" exclaimed Celestia.

The flashbacks zoomed all around her head. Deep, buried away memories of when she was younger, and taking care of Luna, who was still a little filly when she was ill.

There was the memory of Celestia feeding a little red-nosed Luna spoonfuls of herbal soup.

Then Celestia wiping Luna's nose when she gave the cutest little giggle.

And another of Luna being wrapped up tightly with a blanket.

Even a sound-byte of a filly Luna squeaking nasally, "I love you big sister!"

All those memories were too much for Celestia to inhibit, and she did the one thing that felt most right: she spread her incredibly long forelegs and huge wings to reach out and hug her little sister.

"Celestia!! Don't you dare-" and before Luna could run away, she was enveloped in the very warm, and very public embrace of her sister.

And all of the Night Guards, and a blushing Spoken, stared as Celestia hugged a clearly embarrassed Luna in her legs and wings, softly snuggling her in her gigantic grasp.

"Oh my poor, poor, darling little sister!" comforted Celestia, snuggling and hugging with all her might, "It's okay, it's okay, don't worry, you're safe now, your big sister is here,"

"Tiaaaaa...!" whined a now red-faced Luna, "Not in front of our subjects!"

It fell to deaf ears, and she placed a hoof on her nose, "Boop,"

"Argh! Celestia! Do not boop me!" complained Luna.

"Your snout is runny, and your body is cold, dear sister," Celestia said with concern, "How long has this been going on?"

"Just today! And I feel fine! Now leave me in peace!" whined Luna, whom Celestia still was hugging close.

And Celestia turned to Spoken, who looked more than nervous than ever before.

She asked nicely, "My dear Spoken Softly, may I know how long my little sister has had this cold?"

He actually squeaked at the question and tried to hide behind his pink mane. He mustered up enough bravery, and with a surprisingly deep and gravelly voice that nervously muttered, "Umm, the Princess-"

"Not a word from thee, Spoken Softly!" threatened Luna, "Else I shall have you scrubbing the entire astronomy tower for insubordination!!"

He whimpered adorably and cowered.

"Luna, do not bully your personal assistant, it's not nice," chided Celestia softly, "Please be honest, Spoken, you have my word that no harm will come to you,"

His eyes darted left to right. Celestia's angelic softness, Luna's unearthly harshness. Angelic softness. Unearthly harshness. Softness, harshness. Soft, harsh.

Spoken Softly went soft.

"Four days she's had the cold Princess Celestia!!" blurted the panicked Softly and knelt down, hooves covering his head, "Please don't hurt me, Princess Luna!! Please!!"

"Four days, Luna?" asked Celestia, surprised.

"I feel fine, sister!" snapped Luna, "While it is true that I am feeling under the weather thanks to this dreadful cold, it is nothing I cannot handle! Besides, I have too many important matters to attend to!"

"But your little nose is so red..." whined Celestia, poking Luna's nose with her hoof again.

"I said to not boop me!" yelled Luna, finally pushing the larger pony away, "I am not a little filly anymore!"

"But you will always be my little filly, Luna," said Celestia as she nuzzled Luna's neck, and Luna cringed, "And it is my responsibility to take care of you. Now come, you can sleep on my bed and I shall prepare you some nice, warm soup,"

Luna turned away in disgust and shame, "I told you Celestia, I am not little anymore! And I do not need to be doted on, especially from you! Now leave me be so I may continue with my inspection!"

"But Luna..."

"No 'But Luna'!" she insisted.

Celestia sighed, "Stubborn as ever. How about this then? The next time I hear Royal Canterlot Sneeze, I will be at your side as soon as I can to aid you, just like how it was when you were a filly,"

"That is, if, I sneeze again, big sister!" Luna hissed.

Celestia giggled so sweetly it unnerved Luna a bit. "Till the next Sneeze, little sister,"

And she flew off.

Luna and the Night Guards kept their eyes on her.

When she finally flew back into the castle, Luna rushed to the edge of the ripped earth, slammed her head onto the softened dirt, and could finally unleash the sneeze that she was holding back.

The sneeze, although muffled, was so strong it created a small shockwave that rippled the earth, causing the Night Guards to struggle with their balance. Spoken lost his and fell.

"Uuurghhh..." moaned Luna, as she lifted her head up. The Guards tried their best to not cringe as her red nose was caked with dirt, snow and snot.

"Spoken Softly," she said nasally. And Spoken jumped up and wiped her nose with a handkerchief.

"Thank you, Spoken Softly," she said, and muttered to herself with a frustrated hoof stomp, "Celestia can be so impossible sometimes...!"

And gave the Guards an extra nasty glare.

"What happened today will remain secret and confidential, UNDERSTOOD!!?" she bellowed.

"YES YOUR MAJESTY!" the Guards declared in unison.

"Spoken Softly?"

He gulped, "Umm, yes Princess?"

"Half the astronomy tower, and put your hooves into it,"

"B-b-but, Prin-"

A bolt of lightning struck Spoken.

He was ashen all over, and after a cough of dust, weakly muttered, "...yes, Your Highness, I will..."

Fancy Pants was quite surprised, though his expression kept relaxed. He was the first one to be by the table in the conference room, with nary a Night Princess to grandly greet him.

Unlike the much more relaxed Royal Sibling, Luna would always be earlier than him in their meetings.

Even had time to sip some tea.

Until finally, the conference doors slammed wide open, revealing the Night Princess, her famously meek assistant, and the cold air outside.

She wore a sour disposition and an even redder nose.

He kept his cool as always and said, "Ah, good evening Princess, and Spoken Softly. Typically, you would be the ones greeting me,"

"This would be the last time that happened, Fancy Pants," she sharply said, taking her seat, as the guards outside shut the door and cold away.

He definitely noticed her gulping down her entire cup of tea and pouring another hot one.

"I daresay this mysterious cold we're having, has slowed you down?" asked Fancy Pants coolly.

"Watch your tongue, Fancy Pants!" warned Luna, "I am not in the mood for your silver-tongue today!"

"But of course, Princess," he said.

Luna has poured her third cup, "Let us get on to business. Now, according to your tele-"

Luna's Royal Nose twitched, and she exclaimed in terror, "Oh no! OH NO!! SPOKEN SOFTLY...!"

"Y-y-yes, your Highness!" sputtered Spoken as he quickly produced out her handkerchief.

She grabbed it and tried her best to smother her nose down, but her neck heaved, her face strained and her entire body twisting and resisting.

And still Fancy Pants remained calm. He said with a smile, "Now Princess, please go ahead and let your sneeze out, I would not mind one bit, what with this horrid cold about,"

"You... do not... COMPREHEND!" Luna screeched, her red nose winning out, "If I do... it will... Celestia...!"

And she couldn't hold it in anymore, "HAAAAAAAA-"

And she sneezed at the door.

"-CHOOOOOOO!!!"

The blast was so powerful it smashed through the doors and the wall holding it, not to mention sending Spoken midair, who gave a frightened, baritone scream.

A huge cloud of dust formed from the Royal Canterlot Sneeze that covered the entire wall. Fancy Pants calmly sipped his tea.

"My word, Princess Luna, you are quite the marvel," he said, impressed, "I am quite sure others of the Canterlot Elite would not approve, but then again, when have you ever cared on what they thought?"

"Uuuurghhh-huuurr-urrghhh..." mumbled Luna, on the floor and feeling absolutely horrid.

"Need some help, Princess?" asked Fancy Pants to a Luna who finally propped herself on the table.

And from the dust cloud came an answer, "That's quite alright, Fancy Pants, I'll be handling that,"

"Oh horseapples..." muttered Luna darkly.

And appeared Celestia majestically, from the cloud. Besides her usual regal self, on her left was an uninjured but trembling Spoken, and on her right was a large sack which she levitated with her.

It was labelled in large golden paint: CELESTIA'S BABYSITTING BABY SISTER KIT.

"And, what is in your Babysitting Baby Sister Kit, Your Highness?" asked Fancy Pants.

"Merely the essentials to take care of my little sister," she said proudly, and out of the bag, she levitated a a large blanket adorned with the sun symbol.

And before Luna could leap away in horror, Celestia's blanket rolled her up in a tight vice, which Celestia added on by hugging her lovingly.

"It's been so long since I have made a Lunar-rito. Come Luna, to my room, where I can properly nurse you," said Celestia, and with Luna levitated in the blanket and struggling to break free, trotted out of the room, with Spoken following fearfully behind.

"WE WILL NOT BE NURSED, ACCURSED SUN-LOVING SISTER! WE ARE A BIG PONY NOW!! THIS IS TREASON AND PUBLIC INDECENCY THOU HAST COMMITTED!! WE ARE THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT AND WE SHALL HAVE OUR REVENGE...!!"

Fancy Pants looked on as Luna's yelling and whining died down, and took another sip.

"Ah, never a dull moment when those two are together," he muttered to himself.

'Isn't this nice, sister? Me, giving you my homemade herbal soup, and you, laying snugly and toasty in your little Lunar-rito," said a rather pleased Celestia, who blew more flames into her fireplace. She was the Sun Princess after all.

"I AM NOT A LUNAR-RITO!!" yelled a still struggling Luna.

Her fore-hooves stuck out adorably at the edge of the blanket, wiggling desperately for freedom."Urrgh! How did you wrap this so tightly!?"

"Speaking of wrapping, sister," said Celestia, "I have relieved Spoken Softly of his punishment. That was rather unnecessary of you,"

"He is no longer under your supervision, Celestia! You have no right to-" and a spoonful of soup was shoved into her mouth.

The taste completely caught her by surprise, and that surprise mutated into Luna spitting the entire dose out. The spoonful of soup rocketed and made a crater on Celestia's wall.

"Aargh!! What was that!? It tastes of musty hairballs mixed with Extract of Pure Bitter-gourd!!" yelled Luna in disgust, still spitting the soup out.

"That was my herbal soup that I made for you a few thousand years ago," said Celestia, "I am quite sure you remembered my famous Hearty Healthy Homemade Herbal Soup, for a variety of ailments!"

"You just fed me liquid made a few thousand years ago!!??" screamed Luna in rare terror, struggling even harder than before.

"Oh, don't worry sister! It's meant to keep, see!" she said. She even took a deep whiff into the thermos where a dirty brown scent got sucked into her nostrils. Luna felt more ill than before.

"Mmm, it has aged quite well! It smells more aromatic than ever before!" chirped Celestia and she spooned a tiny drop and sipped.

She gave a thoughtful look, "But perhaps it will be more palatable if it's warm..."

And she poured some of its contents into a teacup. Luna nearly blanched at the sight of an assortment of shriveled and unsightly bits and bobs that poured down with the brown sewage-like liquid. Celestia gently blew flames at its bottom.

Luna thought she was seeing things, but the steam that came up evaporated into skulls. A variety of skulls.

"Celestia, as your royal equal in our fair land, I order you to not feed me your millennial old soup!!" begged Luna in desperation.

"Hmm..." Celestia actually gave a thought. then said, "But as your big sister... I overrule it,"

She scooped a big dose with extra chunks of nasties on it. Luna's fore-hooves wiggled more severely than before, which actually made Celestia gush.

"Aww, Luna, look at you, wiggling your cute little hooves!" she exclaimed, "Now be a good little filly and say 'AH',"

"Neigh," stated Luna, who then scrunched her mouth shut.

"Really?" said Celestia sadly, who turned away, "Well, if that's the case-"

And she turned back to tickle her sister's sides, "Gootchie-gootchie-GOO!"

"AAARGHH!!" screamed Luna in shock, and Celestia swiftly shoved the spoon in.

Luna's face contorted, twisted, until finally, she swallowed. A blank, empty face resulted.

"Well, feel better now sister?" asked Celestia, "If memory serves me right, my soup is not an immediate cure,"

And Luna uttered, "HAAAAA-"

"Uh oh,"

"HAAAAA-"

"Wait just a moment, Luna, I'll get your old hankie!"

"HAAAAA-"

"Oh look, sister! It has laces and your cutie mark on it! It's so cute and small!" She then placed the tiny hankie over Luna's snout.

"HAAAAA-"

"Cute and small... full-sized pony... huge, Royal Canterlot Schnoz... uh oh..."

"-CHOOOOOOO!!!"

The magnitude of Luna's sneeze blasted Celestia's entire room into a dusty wasteland, furniture and dust flying everywhere, nary a pony to be seen.

It took awhile before the dust settled, and Celestia was unharmed, having put up a golden shield just in time, though pushed back several meters from Luna.

And to her antiquated and tiny hankie's credit, it stayed in one piece as it stuck to Celestia's shield with Luna's snot.

"Luna! Luna!" yelled her sister, the dust still making things hard to see. She finally lowered the shield, fearlessly grabbed the snot-covered hankie, and flapped all the dust away.

The dust was gone, and so was Luna, leaving only a Luna-shaped hole on Celestia's wall, with the snow once again billowing in.

Author's Note

If Spoken Softly reminded you of someone, ahem, Blu Mankuma...

Luna-rrrrrrrito!

Don't forget to check out Falco9998's page! His pic of Tia and Luna are great!

Super Sniffles

Big McIntosh ran as fast as he could. The fields bathed in moonlight, and the moment he turned his head back to see his pursuers, he gulped in fear as their shadows began to pick speed.

He galloped even harder, but his ears could tell it was no use; the wings and hooves were nipping at his tail.

The owners of the shadows leaped.

And once again, night after relentless night, Fluttershy and Cheerilee pinned him to the ground, their eyes a hungry gaze.

"HAVE YOU FINALLY CHOSEN WHO WILL BE YOUR SPECIAL SOMEPONY!!?" the two mares demanded enthusiastically. Big McIntosh began to perspire at how much their eyes were twitching, how horrible the two have become.

"N-n-n-n-n-n-n-nope..." whimpered Big McIntosh. He knew that that won't satisfy them; their tirade began once again, night after relentless night.

"I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER!! I'M PRODUCTIVE!" claimed an overly cheery Cheerilee.

"Nnope..." whined a frightened Big Mcintosh.

"I TAKE CARE OF ANIMALS! YOU LIKE ANIMALS RIGHT!?" screamed an unusually loud Fluttershy.

"nnope..." whined Big Mcintosh again.

"I'M PERKY AND WILL BE A GREAT FOIL FOR YOUR CALM DISPOSITION!!" yelled Cheerilee.

"YOU SUSPECT ME OF STALKING YOU WHILE YOU WERE APPLEBUCKING!" yelled Fluttershy.

"I'LL GIVE APPLEBLOOM ALL THE TEST ANSWERS!!"

"I HAVE A TREE COSTUME AND WE CAN PLAY TOGETHER WHERE YOU CAN PRETEND TO BUCK ME AND MY APPLE PLUSHIES WILL FALL!!"

"WE WERE SCHMOOPY POOS BIG MAC!! SCHMOOPY-DOOBY-DOOOS!!"

"YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-" and it kept going and going and going...

"Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope...!" no matter how much he pleaded or struggled, the two mares' verbal barrage would not stop.

Suddenly, something finally interrupted Big McIntosh's nightmare.

From a nearby shrubbery, came an incredible force.

"AAAAHHH-CHOOOOO!"

The shock-wave shook the very earth.

"It's over 9 googolplexes!!" yelled Fluttershy and Cheerilee randomly, and they poofed away.

"Urghhh-hurghh..." moaned the sniffling shrub, but rebounded back and spoke more gently, "I mean- greetings, fair and Big MnIntosh. We see that *sniff* thou art troubled indeed. You have been in this predicament *sniff* a great many times before, have you not?"

"Err, eeyup?" Big McIntosh said uncertainly.

"And what, pray tell, do you think is the reason for this?" gently goaded the magical talking shrub.

"Well- Ah' guess-" but before he could say any further, the magical talking shrub suddenly flashed a magical yellow.

"There you are, my little sister!" exclaimed a familiarly bell-like voice. And out popped a very red-nosed Princess Luna from the shrub.

"Aarghh!" yelled Luna in shock, "Sister! How!? How did you find me here!!?"

And who gracefully stepped out of the shrub was none other than the long-legged, beautiful, and enchanting Princess Celestia, with nary a mane nor tail having any shrubbery on it, noticed Big McIntosh.

Luna had some on her mane and tail, that, Big McIntosh noticed as well.

Celestia giggled beautifully, "Like friendship, my adorable red-nosed baby sister, your sneezes are magic as well,"

Luna frowned, clearly trying to hold her temper in, though Celestia remained serene, "Yes, yes, I am one of the Elements of Illnesses, ha!," Luna complained, "Now if you would excuse me, I have one of our subjects I need to attend to!"

"Oh?" and Celestia turned to approach the stallion, "Hello there, and you are?" she chimed.

"Big McIntosh, yer' Highness," he said with a deep bow.

"Ah, I was wondering where I've seen such a handsome stallion before!" Celestia chirped, "You are of the esteemed Apple Family! And judging from these surroundings, you live in Ponyville. I daresay you are brother to a certain Applejack?"

"Eeyup..." said Big McIntosh shyly and with a smile.

"Celestia!" scolded Luna, "Cease making small talk with my current duty this instant!"

"Oh, don't mind my silly little sister!" Celestia said playfully to him, "She has the sniffles right now and it is making her temperamen- well, more temperamental than usual,"

Big McIntosh chuckled at this, "Eeyup,"

"Since you a sibling like myself, and I sure you can understand that I need take care of my own sibling, come snot nor shine, I shall be there for her,"

"Eeyup," uttered Big McIntosh sagely.

Luna's face was blushing as hard as her snout was a glowering red. "I cannot take this! I cannot tolerate this any longer! Big McIntosh, I will be back for you later! Celestia, I-"

And Luna sneezed right in between her sister and the stallion, "-CHOOO!!"

Luna sniffled, snot running down again, frown deeper again. "Not. A. Word,"

And she flew up and teleported away. Celestia sighed, "So stubborn..."

"Eeyup,"

Celestia giggled beautifully again.

"I like you, Big Mac, you're honest. Well, I better find her, she has a blanket with her name on it!"

But before her horn glowed, she leaned in to whisper to Big MacIntosh, "Actually, it's my old blanket that I'm using to keep her warm,"

He giggled again.

She flew in the air, and with a cute little wave of her hoof, she said, "Toodles!"

Her horn then glowed, and she teleported away.

Big McIntosh woke up on his bed. He sat up and noticed his alarm clock that showed it was still in the middle of the night.

He got out of bed, and went to his desk filled with documents and papers. He reached for his journal and using his mouth, picked up a pen and began to write.

Dear Diary,

My horrific nightmare of a twisted farce of my dear Cheerilee and Fluttershy appeared again tonight. Oh, how my conflicted thoughts and feelings for my two good friends linger, as if a swarm of Parasprites!

But something else transpired, and I have strong faith that what happened just moments ago may indeed be a paradigm shift.

About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Princess Celestia was an alicorn.
Second, there was a part of her- and I didn't know how dominant that part might be- that would prefer we just remained friends.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.

Sincerely Yours Truly,
Big McIntosh.

P.S. Toodles.

Author's Note

Some other dreams I thought of using:
a. Sweetie Belle being hated by her sister due to her constantly singing 99 buckets of Oats
b. Shining Armor having paranoia as to whether Cadance is still a Changeling
c. Rarity being a 'cat lady'
d. Applejack's secret, scandalous love for pears

Twilight is cute because her coat makes her look slightly chubby and cute.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GEebx72-qs

Just a little fun romp before the next chapter that will really start to heat things up!

Why the florid writing? ...why the keeping of Smarty Pants?

Ha-Ha Choo

The Royal Court of Twilight. Specifically, the Two Courts of Dawn and Dusk.

It is considered the most important court in all of Equestria, for it is the time when both Luna and Celestia are (fully) awake to see through the nation's most important matters.

The time was evening, the weather now heavily snowing and a grouchy-looking Luna sat upon the Royal Throne. The Guards, Spoken Softly, the prosecutors and the audience within the Court stared at her glowing red nose.

It actually illuminated, casting a light red shade on Spoken's face.

He also made sure to wipe her snot the second it dripped.

"Spoken Softly?" said Luna.

"Y-y-y-es, Your Majesty?"

"Where is the Princess of the Sun, whom I would rather not meet right now but is due for Court?"

"I'm not sure Your Majesty..."

"Then I shall proceed without her,"

"B-b-but, The Twilight Court is supposed-"

"If she cannot make time for Court, then I shall have to pick up her slack. Now get me the podium," said Luna bitterly, then muttered under her breath, "...sooner I get this over with, the faster I can escape from that mare..."

Spoken promptly flew away and came back with a large podium, complete with the related documents, a sounding block and an insignia in front that was of the Royal Equestrian Crest. He placed it deftly before the Royal Throne.

Typically the block would have a gavel involved; but recently, it was either Luna using her bare hoof to do it, or Celestia asking Luna to knock it, as she liked to knock it.

And Luna did knock the block, thundering the palace and trembling the earth. It brought a satisfactory nod to Luna's stony expression, "BRINGETH IN THE PROSECUTED,"

And the Throne Room's giant doors opened to reveal the escorting guards and the prosecuted: the infamous Flim Flam Brothers.

They were brought before Luna, and they too stared quizzically.

And Luna brought her hoof down on the sounding block again. "COURT, IS NOW IN- HAAA-"

And with a reaction that has been clearly practiced and repeated, Luna bolted off as a literal lightning bolt, right out of a deliberately, slightly opened window.

"-CHOOOO!! ...errghh-bur-bur-burgh..." and she flew back in groggily with a bit of airborne assistance from Spoken. Some snow was on her.

Luna settled back down, Spoken wiped her nose clean and the snow off again, and without missing a beat, "-SESSION!!"

And she looked down at them; Flim and Flam smugly stared at her. "What, pray tell, are you two looking at?"

"Well-well-well, Your Nightliness," began Flim, "That's quite the schnoz you have there!"

"Weather has been gettin' you down, eh!?"

"Not a problem, Princess, we can brew a most magnificent concoction that will-"

Luna magically grasped them by their necks, and pulled them all the way to her face.

"Thou willst only speaketh with our expressed permission...!" hissed a very, very short-tempered Luna, her bright red snout forcing the perspiration out of the brothers, "Do we make ourselves *SNIFF* clear...!?"

The dangling, struggling stallions nodded in fear, and lack of air. She then placed them back before their escorting guards, and released the choke so they could gasp back their breath.

Spoken slid the relevent document to Luna, to which she haughtily bellowed to the Court, "Flim and Flam! You have been brought before the Court of Twilight, before the Royal Pony Sisters, myself, Princess Luna, and Princess Celestia, who for I am very sure is absent for very important reasons, but, is nevertheless, here with us in spirit to carry out the sentencing of Flim and-"

"YOO-HOO! SISTER!!" happily echoed a pure and melodic voice.

"Flaaaaaaaaaam..."

And the giant doors opened to reveal the Sun Princess herself, looking to be in a good mood and most crucially, Page Turner sheepishly levitated a large sack behind her.

Her happy trots echoed in the room as everyone stared at her sack that read CELESTIA'S BABYSITTING BABY SISTER KIT.

"Hi boys," she chimed at the Brothers as she passed them by.

"Hiii Princess Tiaaaa...!" swooned Flim and Flam as she passed them by, sighing deeply.

And Celestia finally sat exactly right beside Luna, a little too snugly to her in fact. "Little sister, sit up straight," said Celestia matronly, "You look silly, looking all red-faced and gloomy down there!"

Luna's snout was almost parallel to the podium's surface, her face and horn sticking out. The crowd could practically feel her frustration emanating, but her elder sister remained serene.

"Celestia... why did you greet the prosecuted...?" hissed Luna in a quiet rage.

"It is important to be on friendly terms with everypony in this day and age, sister!" whispered Celestia, obviously whispering merely to humor her beloved sibling.

"But they are being tried for their crimes, sister...!"

"And they shall be put to trial justly and firmly, I assure you,"

"Fine...! Now the least you could do is apologize to the Court for being late...!"

"Alright, alright," said Celestia, who then turned to the Court, "My faithful subjects, I must apologize for my late presence, I assure you, it will not happen again!"

Luna closed her eyes and sighed, and began to straighten her back and-

"For you see, I had to bring in extra equipment to take care of my stubborn little sister!" she proudly announced, proudly lifting the sack high in the air.

Now the Court could only see Luna's horn sticking out of the podium.

And the Big Sister continued, "Now I am sure you are wondering, equipment? For a mere little cold? Well, as some of you may very well know, my sister never plays it as a lightweight, doesn't she?" she said with a wink.

The Court giggled. And Luna's face, underneath the podium, was now as red as her nose.

"Oh no-no-no!" Celestia continued even more enthusiasically, "My sister has always done things as a heavy-duty! Have a tantrum? Thunderstorm! Lost her favorite action figure? Nation wide witch-hunt! Have a sneeze? Hurricane! That time of the-"

"SISTER!!"

"Oh, right, nearly said something inappropriate there! To put in short, since my sister is so stubborn in not taking proper care of herself, I shall be assisting her in sentencing the Flim-Flam Brothers and tending to her illness consecutively, as a good sister should,"

Some of the members of the Court actually 'aww-ed'.

"Now, as you were saying sister? Before I came in?" she said to Luna.

Luna remained underneath. And truthfully, she'd rather wish the podium would just swallow her up and never spit her out.

"Sister, no slouching!" said Celestia as she spanked her up the rear, which caused Luna to yelp and bolt straight up.

"Ahem, right," said Luna, attempting to control her composure, "Let us get on with this. FLIM AND FLAM! You have been brought to court for multiple crimes of..."

And she read the list, "Extortion! Gerrymandering! Various forms of fraud! Impersonating as two sisters in a Sisterhooves Social- wait, what?"

"Aww!" said Celestia as she leaned over to look at the evidence of the last crime, "They have photographic evidence of Flim and Flam dressed as fillies! You two looked lovely in these sundresses!"

Now it was the Brothers' turns to be red in the face.

"I told you that was a stupid idea!" Flam snapped at Flim, "But would you listen, brother!?"

"We needed that prize money, brother!" Flam snapped, "It's not as if you were thinking up of any ideas!"

"I had to shave off my beautiful mustache for that gig! It was weeks before it grew back!"

"By Celestia's mane, stop reminding me! We live in the same cell, have meals together, sleep in the same room, OF COURSE I KNOW IT WOULD TAKE YOU WEEKS TO GROW-"

And that was Luna's cue to knock the sounding block, where the sonic resonance slash reverence finalized the argument.

"No talking from the prosecuted," ordered Luna, who then glared at Celestia, "Or from other bodies for that matter..."

"Oh, I have no idea what you are speaking about sister," chimed Celestia sweetly.

"Now then, Celestia and I shall now briefly review the various offences," announced Luna to the court, "From which we shall gather our proper opinions whether as to allow The Flim Flam Brothers an appeal or to sentence them, here and now,"

Spoken Softly and Page Turner passed Luna and Celestia the criminal files of Flim and Flam, respectively.

Luna began to intensively scan Flim's very extensive criminal records, cross-examining evidences, searching for contradictions and any procedures that might have gotten out of hand.

Just as she was about done looking at Flim's first criminal case, she felt a familiar soft material wrap her body.

"Celestia," whispered Luna intensely to a Celestia that looked as if she was focusing on Flam's case file, but a mischievous smile was present, "Kindly remove your stupid old blanket off of me,"

"You are cold, little sister," said Celestia, without taking her eyes off of her case file.

"I am not cold sister,"

"Don't argue, your big sister knows best," chided Celestia softly, and began to magically wrap Luna up into the Lunar-rito again.

"Sister! You will do no-"She began to rebelliously fight back, grunting and struggling, but Luna realized the entire Court was staring at her.

Luna blushed hard; she has made a fool of herself enough times already, and resided her fate as a Lunar-rito. At least Celestia had the courtesy to magically tilt Luna at the right angle to read the files.

"Ah, Luna, there is a case here from Flam I want to cross-examine with Flim's file," said Celestia.

"Of course sister, just let me- urrghhh!" Luna tried to wiggle her fore-hooves out to reach the file, to no avail.

Celestia giggled at the sight, and then snuggled her horrified sister, "Oh Luna! No need to exert yourself! I'll just take that from you!"

Again, members of the Court went "Aww...!" at the sibling love, the one-sided sibling love.

And Celestia slid her Flim's file to herself and began to read, and flip the pages, read, and mark, all whilst Luna stared at her.

"I know what you are doing, Celestia," muttered Luna.

"What do you mean, Sister?" said Celestia softly as she flipped both pages of each file.

"You're going to hog all the work from me, so that I will have no choice but to be mothered by you!" yelled Luna.

"Now, sister, no shouting, it's not good for your throat," Celestia said firmly, but Luna frowned and magically swiped the two files away, "Hey! Luna! Give those back!"

"No! I need to work!" yelled Luna again, whose magical aura took over the Lunar-rito and she turned away in a huff, scanning the files again.

"Luna... give those back..." ordered Celestia with her Big Sister Voice. She gasped when Luna's ears went flat to close out the her voice.

Peace at last, thought Luna, finally getting the momentum she needed, and then suddenly, her files poofed away and a squarish, pastel-colored thing shoved in her mouth.

She felt a familiar liquid going down the throat, and she spat the magically floating object out. She contorted and squirmed, and slapped the taste out of her mouth.

"Aarghh!" roared Luna, "CELESTIA!! What was that!?" she finally saw what the squarish thing was, "A baby bottle!? You put your soup that is as old as me into a baby's bottle!!?"

"It's not a baby bottle, sister, I won't go that low," explained Celestia, "It's a new invention, called a sippy cup,"

"It looks like a sports tumbler meant for a filly!" retorted Luna.

"That, Luna," and Celestia smugly smirked to Luna, "is the idea,"

"Why you arrogant, confounded, oversized- MMH!" and the sippy cup was shoved in her mouth again, and stayed there.

"Now now sister, let the ones fit to work continue with the work, you just stay there and rest," she said sweetly again, giving her a little kiss on the cheek, floated her off to the side of the podium, and proceeded to read the files again.

This created a really big "Aww...!!" from the Court. Luna's face went red again, and sunk her head deeper into the Lunar-rito, and the sippy cup, now magically stuck to her lips, was dragged down into its crevice as well.

"Alright everypony, I have finally made my decision concerning Flim and Flam," announced Celestia to the Court.

Spoken Softly looked at her Princess, clearly upset that she was bested, why, it almost seemed as if she was heaving inside. Spoken realized she wasn't heaving due to sadness.

"Oh dear! Princess Luna!" exclaimed Spoken, who yanked the Lunar-rito slightly down, to reveal that Luna was once again trying to hold back a Royal Canterlot Sneeze.

But this time with the degree of wriggling, and squirming that she was doing, and how strained her face was, this was the mother-load.

"Princess Celestia!" shouted Spoken softly to Celestia, "Princess Luna's about to blow!"

Celestia's face spun and stared in horror at him, her jaw dropped at what Spoken, of all ponies, just said. Then she stared at a struggling Luna, and then said, "Ohhh!'

"W-w-we must take her outside right now, Princess Celestia!" Spoken exclaimed again, "O-o-or she'll be so upset when she sneezes at everypony!"

The Court gasped and took cover, either by ducking or hiding behind somepony else. There have been a few accidents already when a few ponies got caught in the crossfire of The Royal Canterlot Sneeze, and the collateral damage was not to be trifled with.

Celestia giggled again, "Not to worry, my former assistant, I have the tool for just this situation!"

And she pulled out from the CELESTIA'S BABYSITTING BABY SISTER KIT, a large, sparkling blue handkerchief, adorned with the Lunar Crest.

"This specially made hankie is weaved from pure Diamond Thread!"explained Celestia, "Nothing but a dragon's bite can chew through this material!"

And Celestia magically yanked the sippy cup out, which Luna heaved back as far as possibly could, and Celestia steadied the Handkerchief to catch the Sneeze.

"HAAAAAAA-"

And her snout impacted directly on the Handkerchief.

"CHOOF!!"

It was an extremely muffled sneeze and nothing came past the handkerchief; it had done its job well.

Too well in fact, for the snot and released pressure from the Sneeze backfired on Luna.

In an instant, her entire head and the Lunar-rito and even part of the Royal Throne was covered with her transparent snot.

Celestia, Spoken, Page Turner and the Court stared in horror.

"Oh sister! I'm so sorry!" Celestia cried, and finally dropped the vice-grip of her blanket and it fell, revealing Luna's body.

Luna could feel the snot covering her face. She touched it with one hoof and could feel its drippy stickiness.

Everypony stared at her, jaws agape.

And for the first time in a long time, she began to cry.

First softly, and then loudly, and then LOUDLY.

Luna felt so ashamed as she wiped the snot forcefully from her face, sniffling and sobbing her eyes out, her tears mixed with the snot.

"Oh sister, please don't cry! Please don't!" pleaded Celestia, as she attempted to assist Luna, but Luna angrily swatted her lanky hoof away.

"DO NOT TOUCH ME ACCURSED SISTER!!" yelled Luna, still sobbing, "I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU!! I AM DONE WITH YOU!! YOU HAVE SHAMED ME BEFORE OUR SUBJECTS FOR THE LAST TIME!!"

The weather outdoors began to blizzard harder than thought possible. Lightning struck, and the winds howled.

"Sister, I didn't mean for the hankie to backfire on you!" reasoned Celestia, "Let's get you out of here where-"

"I SAID TO NOT TOUCH ME! I MERELY WANTED TO BE LEFT IN PEACE WITH MY WORK BUT YOU JUST HAD TO BE THE BIG SISTER, THE GUARDIAN, THE ETERNALLY PERFECT CARETAKER OF THE PATHETIC, USELESS NIGHT PRINCESS WHO IS UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING FOR HERSELF!!"

Celestia herself was tearing up, "Luna, Luna p-p-please, don't be-"

"THIS IS THE FINAL NAIL IN THE COFFIN, CELESTIA!!" yelled Luna grimly, "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!"

And with a final, piercing, hurt glare, the snot-covered and sobbing Luna teleported away. And the blizzard howled an icy scream.

Celestia held her head low, tears flowing freely down. Spoken Softly jitterly went up to the podium and attempted to announce, "T-t-t-he Twi-twi-twi-"

Page Tuner helped, "What my associate is trying to say, is that Twilight Court shall resume at a later time and today's Court shall be postponed,"

And the members of the Court all left. And as Flim and Flam were escorted out, Flim whispered to Flam.

"Well, that's as interesting a trial as it can get, eh, brother?" commented Flim quite neutrally.

Flam said nothing.

"... you're still mad at me about the moustache, aren't you?"

Flam replied by looking away with a huff.

"Oh come on! Just because Princess Luna can huff away, that does not mean-"

And the Throne Room doors were closed, leaving only Spoken, Page and Celestia, still silently weeping.

"Princess Celestia?" said Page with concern, "I think we should go,"

But she was in deep thought, Celestia. For she cannot get that image of Luna glaring at her with such hatred at her out of her head, or the words, 'this is the final nail in the coffin, Celestia. I never want to see you again,'

That was the second time that Luna had said that to her.

The first time was when they argued for the nth time on Luna's increasingly antisocial attitude.

After that argument, Luna was transformed into Nightmare Moon.

Author's Note

Why Flim and Flam? They're funny criminals!

Luna broke all the gavels.

I just realized that I wrote Tia very perkily in this chapter. I think it's because I'm having her interact very, very casually with Luna. To all that have brothers/sisters, you'll know what I mean?

Your constructive criticisms, notes, and carefully-worded rants in the comments section will be greatly appreciated!

Next chapter will have a little more focus on what is up with Spoken and Page and why they appear so often.

Gaffe-aw

A few days later after the Twilight Court fiasco...

It was early evening, but Princess Luna's assistant, the well-built Spoken Softly, could not sleep. He got out of his quarters and put on a extra-thick bathrobe, for the blizzard was raging ferociously outside and darkening the skies.

His typically neat pink mane was frazzled and he was yawning as he made his way to the staff pantry for a midday snack. Turns out, Princess Celestia's new personal assistant, Page Turner, was there as well in her own thick coat.

"Good evening, Spoken," said Page, as she sipped her tea. She looked rather tired as well in spite it being day.

"Good evening, Page. How are you?" gently boomed Spoken that rattled Page's teacup.

"By Celestia's mane! Your voice...!" exclaimed Page in shock, "I didn't know you could pull off the Royal Canterlot Voice! Is that legal?"

"Hmm? Oh! Right, sorry..." Spoken coughed a bit, and his voice boomed less but still remained deep and attractive, "M-m-my voice gets that way when I'm feeling groggy and just woken up. As you can tell, I couldn't sleep well these past few days..."

"You're still worried about Princess Luna, aren't you?" asked Page concernedly.

"Yes, poor thing has stopped crying, thank goodness," said Spoken sadly as he made himself a hot cup of tea, "But she's thrown herself into her work more than ever, even without my assistance! And, well, just look outside,"

Page did. They were rather high up in the castle, and they could see everything was covered in thick snow, and the winds spread the frost and cold all over the lands.

"Luna's affecting the weather again, that's normal, err, as normal as it can be around here," commented Page, "Still, Her Majesty is only aggravating it, not causing it. Have you heard anything new from the Weather Department as to why it's snowing so badly?"

"From my understanding," said Spoken, "It's definitely something coming from beyond the borders of Equestria, but that's all they know so far. Say, how's Princess Celestia?"

"Oh, she's still upset," Page said concernedly, "She feels all guilty smothering Luna like that, to the point where she let me off from work early today! Speaking of which, did you know Princess Luna's still awake?"

Spoken's eyes were wide in shock, "What!? Since when!?"

"Well, it was in the afternoon, and she was walking back to her room with piles of files, so I'm guessing she's must've stayed up since last night,"

"Oh that stubborn princess!" stomped Spoken's hood down with rare frustration, then realized what he just did, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Page! I didn't mean to look mean and angry!"

But Page giggled, "It's okay, Spoken! It's nice to see you more confident!"

"It's just that, as a good assistant should, I've been telling her to get a good day's sleep and not to worry so much, but now she's just being more stubborn than usual!

"You know what, Page!?"

"Err, what?"

"I'm going to tell her off! I am going to tuck her into bed whether she likes it or not!"

"Wow, that's bold, especially for you. But if she starts zapping you?"

"I'll take it then! It's my job as a Royal P.A to take care of her assigned Princess!"

"... you weren't assigned to Princess Luna," smirked Page, and leaned in closer, "You chose to be Princess Luna's assistant,"

Spoken blushed and hid behind his mane, "D-d-don't judge me..."

Spoken was before the doors of Princess Luna's bedchambers. Luna's bedchambers was notorious for being the most fortified room in all of Equestria.

Some say that if the Castle would crumble, the cruelly dubbed 'Mare Cave' will still stand.

Some say that it is so strong that that was where Luna and Celestia bunked when Discord first returned.

Some say that the 'Mare Cave' is so heavy padded, the walls so thick and strong, and the doors nigh impenetrable, that it was not to protect the Princess, but to protect Equestria from the Princess.

Only a hoof-full of ponies know that Princess Luna simply snores louder than a dragon, and that the room was designed to muffle the noise.

Spoken knocked on the heavy doors.

"ENTER," proclaimed the Princess from the inside.

Spoken struggled to push one of the doors opened for a good thirty seconds, before it could open enough for her to pass through.

And true enough, Princess Luna was by her table, working. The floors were littered with hankies and tissues.

The waning daylight shone in that showed that she was working on some astronomical charts again. Her face ragged and her nose was working as another source of light,therefore omitting the use of candles.

The blizzard raged on.

"P-p-princess Luna, why are you awake?" whispered Spoken in fear.

"Why are you awake, Spoken Softly," asked Luna back, "It is not time for you to begin your duties yet, you should be getting a good day's rest,"

"I-I-I know, it's just that-" Spoken struggled to keep his voice above a baritone whisper, "Page Turner told me that you were awake, but you're not supposed to be awake-"

"You did not answer my question, Spoken Softly," insisted Luna, not angrily, but there was a hint of frustration.

Spoken squeaked in fear. "W-w-well, it's because- wait! No! No, I will not be put down today!" declared Spoken with rare charisma.

Luna's tired eyes glared at him with slight surprise, but also curiosity.

"I asked the question first, Princess!" bellowed Spoken deeply, "And as your Royal Personal Assistant, I am soundly advising you to have some courtesy to answer my question first as to why you are awake!?"

Luna's eyebrow rose, "This is the first time you are giving me the stink-eye, Spoken Softly,"

Spoken's stink-eye waned as she said that, realizing what he had done, "Oh! I'm so sorry, Princess! I don't-"

Luna's hoof came up and he remained silent.

"You are right, of course, I apologize," stated Luna, "And to answer your question: I have a lot of work that has been backlogged and slowed down due to my accursed nose... *SNIFF*"

"But that is alright, Princess!" pleaded Spoken, "You need you rest! I can help you-"

"It is currently your rest time, Spoken Softly!" Luna snapped, "You are well aware that I forbid anyone directly under my rule to forsake their rest time!"

"But what about you, Princess!?"

For the first time, Luna looked uncertain, and turned away, back to her work, "I can handle this myself, Spoken Softly. As the Princess of the Night, I have my duties to uphold. Come snot nor shine, I cannot let some foolish cold stop me... or a foolish fellow Princess from distracting me either- HAAAAA-"

And Luna bolted out of the window like a lightning bolt again, and sneezed in the outdoors, "CHOOO!!!!"

Luna teleported back beside Spoken, and Spoken instinctively wiped her dribbling muzzle,"*SNIFF* blerrrrghhh... thank you, Spoken Softly,"

Now that he was closer to her, he definitely noticed that she looked a little weaker than a few days before: poorer posture, week knees, droopy eyes, and that incredibly glowing snout.

"P-p-princess Luna...!" sputtered Spoken,"Don't you think-"

"Enough casual conversation, Spoken Softly," ordered Luna quietly, and levitated him to the door.

"No, Princess! Please, just-"

"FOR THINE LOYALTY AND TIRELESS SERVICE TO THINE PRINCESS AND THE NIGHT," decreed the Night Princess abruptly, "THOU SHALT BE GIVEN A PAY-RAISE AND A PROMOTIONAL VOUCHER FROM DONUT JOE'S DONUT SHOP!!"

And she levitated a voucher to Spoken, who was still adjusting his ear. The voucher had Donut Joe's goofy face on it.

"Here is your voucher, and I shall arrange for your raise in the coming month," she stated.

And before he could say anything else, Luna placed it in his mane, plonked him down outside her room, and using her bare hoof, closed the door.

It was a gentle closing, but it rumbled and shook the palace.

Spoken was left with the voucher, and only the chilling cold that slowly crept all over the palace accompanied him to his next visit.

Princess Celestia.

Spoken knocked on Celestia's doors.

"Enter," said a beautiful voice that was tinged with sadness and nostalgia.

He pushed opened the door (which was much lighter), and he saw that Princess Celestia was lying in the center of the room, in front of her were tissues around her and a large golden book. Spoken recognized it as one of her most cherished belongings: a photo album of her personal life.

"Spoken?" said a surprised Celestia, "What are you doing up in this time?"

"I couldn't sleep, Your Majesty," answered Spoken, "And while I don't mean to worry you more, but the last few days have been troubling..."

Celestia's ears laid flat. "Yes, it has been for me as well, obviously," she muttered, "In any case, what can I help you with, my little pony?"

"I..." began Spoken nervously, "I wanted to see how you were doing, Your Majesty,"

"Me?"

"I bumped into Page Turner and she told me you were upset and I wanted to see how you were doing,"

"I suppose I am alright, my former assistant," she said with a smile, but it faltered, "I don't know, I just feel so upset with myself. All I wanted to do was to care for... for Luna,"

Spoken sat down, "I understand, Princess. But we'll need to give her some space now. I just met her-"

"Met her?" said a surprised Celestia, "What's she doing awake at this time?"

"W-w-well, she's continued on with her work-"

"That- that is unacceptable!" exclaimed Celestia, "That is too much with her condition!"

"I know, Princess, I know!" assured Spoken, " But the second reason I came was to tell you that, and to humbly request that you do not take any action,"

"... explain yourself then," slowly said Celestia.

"Luna is, well, she's an adult. And she needs her space," he explained, "And well, umm, she especially needs her space from you,"

"Hmm..."

"Erm, don't tell her I said this, but, the little sister needs to learn how to fall, in order to learn how to get up, at least for the moment,"

"The problem is, Spoken, is that when she falls, something shatters,"

"Oh, well, if you put it like that-"

"No, Spoken, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," corrected Celestia, "It's obvious that I am very protective of my little sister. I know she can take care of herself, and I know that she's fiercely independent, but, well, let me show you something, but don't tell sister, or she'll be even angrier with me,"

And she flipped the book open to a particular chapter. Spoken peeked, then gasped, then blushed very, very hard.

"Are these, Princess Luna's baby photos?" Spoken couldn't believe his eyes. The multiple photos of a filly Luna were irrefutably, indescribably, astronomically, adorable.

"Yes, Luna was a cute little filly back in those days gone by," Celestia chuckled in near-reverence to those memories, "Though back then, I used to call her by her pet name, 'Woona',"

"Oh! That is adorable!" gushed Spoken, "But I think she won't like it if I called her that,"

Celestia rolled her eyes, "You have no idea,"

"Oh, why is the Princess in this one covered in ice-cream and sulking like that?" gushed Spoken.

"Ah, this was when she snuck into an ice-cream mare's cart to greedily eat all the ice-cream!" laughed Celestia, "She got so excited, the cart lost balance and fell down a hill. I had to pay that mare the entire cost of the cart and her supplies because of that silly little Woona!

"And as punishment, I pinned this photo up in the Royal Bulletin Board for all to see! Gave the castle staff back then a good laugh!"

Spoken attempted to hold back his laughter, "PFFFT...! Hee-hee! Oh, I feel so naughty looking at all these!"

"Now let me show you a particular section," she said cryptically.

She flipped the book a few pages forward, and she pointed to a title and the few photos it referred to: WOONA with the WOOZIES.

"Woozies, Princess?" asked a confused Spoken.

"I liked to baby my sister back then," she replied sheepishly, "Actually, well, I still would like to now,"

They both looked at the photos.

There was the one where a red-nosed filly 'Woona' looked at the camera angrily, cheeks puffed and mouth scrunched in an adorable toddler anger.

There was the one next to it where a cooing teenager Celestia was feeding Luna some soup.

The third one had Celestia wrapping Luna in the familiar sun-adorned blanket. What surprised Spoken was that Luna seemed happy to be in it.

The fourth photo was simply Celestia sleeping and hugging Luna in her Lunar-rito. They looked peaceful.

"My parents took these," sighed Celestia, "Mother always used joke that I was practically Luna's second mom, feeling responsible to little Luna all the time. As you can see, I sometimes just feel a need to care for her,"

She noticed that he wasn't really listening to her, as Spoken was enraptured by the adorableness of Woona, blush still bright, and she could hear a sliver of Spoken cooing.

She also noticed a voucher of Donut Joe's deliberately stuck in his mane, "Spoken? Did my sister give you a raise?"

He snapped out of his cooing phase, "Huh? How did you know that?"

She chuckled and pointed at the voucher that Spoken had in his mane, "Only my sister would have the ingenious idea of giving raises with vouchers to sweeten the deal!"

"B-b-but, this is the third time she's given me a raise with a voucher in the past four months!" he replied, "I feel so guilty receiving all these raises, but we know what happens if I tell her no!"

"Well, I think it's partly due to her innate loyalty to her subjects, and partly because she's never had a personal assistant before,"

Spoken stared at Celestia, not even daring to ask if she was jesting.

"...never...?"

"Never,"

"As in never-never?"

"Never-never,"

"As in never-never-in-her-whole-entire-life-never?"

"Never-never-in-her-whole-entire-life-never,'

"Never-never-in-her-" and Celestia placed a hoof on his lips, and merely nodded, and she pulled back.

"But... why? She's a Princess, she should've had a P.A before!!" exclaimed Spoken disapprovingly.

"She should, but it's partly because she was very headstrong back then, and partly because... frankly, ponies in those days were either terrified of her, or despised her,"

Spoken was visibly upset learning that. Celestia explained further.

"You must understand my little pony. Ponies knew very little of the Night back then, associating it with Nightmares and unspeakable horrors. And my dear sister, sadly, was a part of that, and was in a way, an uncomfortable link to those horrors.

"In fact, the only reason she accepted you, Spoken, as her personal assistant, was because you requested to be so," smiled Celestia, looking for the first time in their conversation rather happy.

Spoken felt the weight of the world upon him. And in a rather convoluted way, felt Luna's weight as well, and how lonely it must have been for her in all those years of suffering...

"Spoken, I want you to be honest with me," stated Celestia with a sudden firmness, "You have been my P.A for quite some time, then you requested to be Luna's P.A, and I believe the reason was that you wished to work in a brand new environment, and that, as you said before, Princess Luna seemed... 'interesting',"

Spoken blushed, "Erm, yes?"

"Now that you have been working with Luna for sometime now, how has it been working with her?"

"Oh! Well, Princess Luna is very strict and very disciplined, kind of the opposite of working with you actually,"

"Do tell, Spoken Softly,"

"Well, usually you're relaxed with most matters, but Luna is immaculate and expects nothing but the best from her staff, me including, so she will punish us if we do anything wrong, but she's very generous with rewards if we do something right, or when she thinks we're doing something right...?" he points to his voucher as an example.

"Anything else of interest?"

"Well, this may surprise you, Princess, but I think she cares for her subjects in a much more personal manner than you do, Princess. What I mean is...! Well, you know she enters and manages the Dream World, and she meets all sorts of ponies, and she really takes a more personal and nurturing approach, especially to children. She really loves children..."

That made Celestia giggle, "You seem to appreciate that about her!"

"Oh yes, I know a lot of people think she's all scary and unapproachable, but actually, well, no, she can be scary and unapproachable!"

Celestia nodded in agreement.

"But I do think she's also misunderstood, and that she's trying her best to provide for everyone, even at her own expense, sometimes. She's loyal to a fault, honestly,"

"Indeed. And to inform you, Spoken, yes, I know she takes a more personal approach, that has always been her style. And personally, I think that's a healthy counterbalance to how I govern. Now, Spoken, are you happy that you transferred to her?"

"Oh my! Umm... well... yes,"

'In spite of the recent events?"

"Well, when you put it that way... no, I still don't have any regrets being Princess Luna's P.A,"

"May I ask why?"

"Erm... she's, well, made my life more exciting actually. I'm typically in the thick of things with her, be it inspections on the troops, keeping track of her patrol routes at night, catching her sneezes, or speaking with the emissaries of Tartarus...!"

He shivered at the frightening experience; so many sharp horns...

"So your duties in comparison with mine are practically night and day?"

"That... is exactly what it is, Princess. Both night and day, but both equally rewarding," beamed Spoken.

Celestia nodded in agreement again, "Thank you, Spoken, I'm glad you're happy with her,"

"And Princess?"

"Yes?"

"I know I said to not approach her for the moment, but..." and Spoken stood tall, "I shall take care of your sister, Princess Celestia. That, I promise you!"

Spoken was quite confused when Celestia winked at him mischievously, "Oh, I know, Spoken! I know!"

Suddenly, they heard Page Turner's panicked shoutings.

"PRINCESS CELESTIA! PRINCESS CELESTIA!!" shouted Page as she barged in through the doors, "And Spoken...!? Anyways, PRINCESS!"

"What is it, Page?" Celestia asked concernedly.

"Ermm, well, you know the Flim-Flam Brothers?" she began, "They've escaped from their prison!"

"I see," the Princess said calmly, who stood up, "Just awhile ago?"

"Actually, this morning..."

"What? Then why did you not tell me sooner?" asked the Princess urgently.

"Well, you didn't look in the best shape today, and the Royal Guards were handling it," she explained, "But that's unfortunately not why I'm here. Umm... Princess Luna was at the Royal Guard's stations to get more assignments to do... and she overheard that the Brothers have escaped, and now... she's... in pursuit of them..."

Spoken and Page witnessed something very rare: Celestia slapping her hoof on her face, and dragging it down in frustration, whilst muttering, "Urrrghhhh... that filly will give me nightmares..."

And she turned to Spoken, "My little pony, I do not like to go back on your words, but I think you can agree I'll need to retrieve Luna back on this one,"

Spoken nodded nervously, and she flew up and out of the balcony, and the incredible snow tumbled in.

Page and Spoken ran atop the pile and to the balcony's edge, and they saw Celestia in the whirling cold, sticking her ears out and turning them around like radar. The two assistants recognized that gesture as listening in and pinpointing the location of the Royal Canterlot Sneeze.

"HAAAAA...CHOOOOOOOO!!!"

Her body stopped moving, and pointed. "There!" she exclaimed. But where she pointed greatly worried her. It was in the far North, where the mountain ranges bordered onto Equestria and the Crystal Empire.

What's more, she could feel the icy winds seemingly originating from there.

What's worse,Celestia could just make out through the raging blizzard, that there was a lot of lightning being struck near one of the bordering mountains.

Very deliberately placed lightning.

"Something's not right," said Celestia grimly, and turned to Luna's assistant, "Spoken! You will have to accompany me to get Luna! You won't listen to just me alone!"

"W-w-what...?" he whimpered fearfully, "Up-up-up in the North?"

But before he could say anymore, Celestia conjured up his thick bathrobe on him and levitated him on her back, "Oof! Is this my bathrobe?"

"Page Turner, send a platoon of Day and Night guards to where all that lightning is up in the North!" ordered Celestia. Page saluted and galloped back into the warmth of the palace.

And now in the chilly cold, "Hang on Spoken! I will be rocketing us to Luna's location!"

"Rocketing!?" exclaimed Spoken in horror, "Couldn't you just teleport us there!?"

"The snow makes it too risky! Hold on!" And Celestia began to flex her muscles.

'Wait! Lemme' just take some breathing exer-" but Celestia (with Spoken) turned into a living comet, blazing through the thick falling snow.

Her mane and tail were a flaming, blazing red, though not burning Spoken up.

He didn't know that however, and that fueled his very baritone scream, "AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

In mere seconds, Celestia was near her destination, and she began to cool her flames down and slowed her velocity.

She was at the borders of the vast mountain ranges, and the snow was pouring incredibly hard to the point where she could barely make out what's in front of her.

Spoken stopped screaming about halfway in the trip and just froze, gripping Celestia's neck for dear life, his mane slightly singed.

"Spoken! Spoken!" yelled Celestia through the volume of snow and thunder, "Are you alright?"

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'M GOOD! I'm good!" replied Spoken as he shivered.

He had never felt such cold before, "Now where's P-p-princess Luna!!? She's can't stay out here! It's so freezing!"

Celestia began to scan the mountain ranges, especially where the lightning was. And then she saw something at the middle of a large mountain, where the dreadful winds and storms were at its worst.

She also saw a certain dark blue shape in its distance, roaring and flying quick as lightning, zipping in and out of that particular area.

"No... it can't be..." uttered Celestia so scared and fearful, that it chilled Spoken's frazzled composure even more than the blizzard.

"What is- WOAH!!" he yelled as Celestia flew even closer to where the lightning and snow was at its most aggressive.

And she saw them.

The reason for the early blizzard.

The reason for her little sister's cold.

The Windigos have returned.

Author's Note

Nostalgia powah! Let's face, a lot of us run on nostalgia; who's to say Celestia doesn't?

I think it's pretty obvious who Spoken Softly is based on; in fact, I will give a fun little cameo shoutout of your OC in the next chapter for the first user to successfully comment as to who he's based on! Remember, be very, very specific!

Yes, I interpreted Tia as one of those sisters much older than their little sister.

Why Donut Joe? Police like donuts, and Luna has always looked like the authoritative kind.

Emissaries of Tartarus? Well, Cerberus didn't seem all that bad, so maybe some of its inhabitants aren't all that bad. After all, Equestria isn't exactly sunshine and roses, especially when Luna's around...

Next chapter: Invasion of the Windigoes!!

And It Flu Away

"BABOONS! CRETINS! HARPIES! NE-ER DO WELLS!" Luna verbally assaulted the swirling, freezing herd of Windigos as she magically and physically assaulted them, "ANIMALS! JELLYFISHES! POCKMARKS! BLIGHTS! SNOWFLAKES!!"

Spoken Softly watched in horrified amazement at Luna's unbridled powers.

He had seen her do incredible feats before; but these Windigos kept multiplying, swarming, blowing icy cold breaths at Luna, tried to knock her out of the air, all those attempts to directly fight her, as opposed to relying on a more off-hooved approach according to legend, were relentless.

And singular, red-nosed Luna could keep up with them all.

She whacked them into a snowy pulp when they got too close, zapped bolts and bolts of lightning at its masses and deftly maneuvered to achieve a better position. She even manipulated her own blizzard to hold them back.

"HUSSIES! MORONS! VILLAINS! PORCUPINES! NOISY, THIEVING SEAGULLS!!" continued Luna's verbal barrage.

It was a ferocious stalemate that Celestia could bear no longer.

"We need to get her out of there, now!" yelled Celestia in desperation over the thunder, and they flew closer to the battle.

"Luna! LUNA!" Celestia desperately called out through the roaring thunder, snow and Royal Canterlot Insults, "You need to get out of here! LUNA!"

Luna's ears pricked in horror, and briefly turned to find that that horrible Celestia and that traitorous Spoken Softly closing in on her, and growled, "By the stars, those two can't leave me in peace...!"

She directed her miniature blizzard at them that whilst continuing on her duties as a Princess. She socked a hard one on a Windigo that got too close.

"Aargh!!" screamed Spoken deeply, as Celestia braced herself from the winds and stayed her position.

"LUNA!! STOP THAT!!" yelled Celestia desperately, "Please! I beg of you! You are in no condition to fight! Spoken, please reason with her!"

"Princess Celestia is correct, Princess Luna!! Think of your cold!" replied Spoken, finally daring to take flight and inched himself closer to Luna, "You have to fall back! I'm sure Princess Celestia can-"

She repeated each word with a strike upon her foes, "ONCE! I! VANQUISH! THESE! CRETINS! SHRIMPS! SEWAGE! HALITOSIS! HACKS! HAS- HA...! HA...!"

And her sneeze blasted a huge number of them back as they whinnied in horror, "-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Blerghhh..."

And she took a hankie from Spoken to wipe her nose, "Thank you Spoken Soft- Spoken Softly! How are you beside me!?"

Celestia looked to her side and realized that his inching must've been accelerated due to his instincts to serve his Princess.

His forehoof was still outstretched, awaiting her hankie to be handed back to her, when his eyes went wide, "I... I don't know, Princess! But-but-but that's not important right now! You need to-"

A Windigo took this chance to flank Luna and blast a gust of cold air right at another target: Spoken.

Luna saw the gust in the knick of time. She pushed him away and raised a magical barrier that the gust froze into an icy surface.

She then grabbed him and forcefully flung him right at Celestia, who caught him as he screamed, "TAKE MY ASSISTANT TO SAFETY AND LEAVE!! DO NOT ENDANGER HIM ANY-"

And in another distracted lapse, the Windigos took advantage of this and they all blasted another round of icy winds at the powerful Night Princess. And this time, they hit their mark.

"AAARGHH...!!" screamed Luna in agony.

"LUNA!! NO!!" exclaimed Celestia in horror.

The winds stopped gusting, and a frost covered Luna stayed in flight, though shivering very badly. She slowly turned to the elemental creatures.

Even though she was breathing heavily, she had on a determined and frowning grimace, with bloodshot eyes and gritted teeth that did not sway the emotionless Windigos.

"You think that did anything to me!!??" roared Luna, sounding as primal as the blizzard, "I am the Princess of the Night, foul creatures!! HAVE AT THEE!!!!!"

And she jumped straight into the cloud. And battled once more.

The cloud of Windigos began to grow in size, Celestia noticed. Luna continued the Royal Canterlot Insults, along with something that worried Celestia even more.

"SHELLFISH! ACHOO! FRUITCAKES! ACHOO!" Luna's bellows were peppered with sneezes that were certainly not the Royal Canterlot variety, "Hedge fund mana- achoo! Counterfeiters! Achoo! Cake eat- achoo! Achoo! Achoo!"

Luna kept going in spite of her weakening sneezes and weakening attacks. Spoken was in hysterics.

"Sh-sh-she's gone mad!!" cried Spoken in hot tears, "She's gone mad! What-are-gonna'-do-what-are-we-gonna-do-what-"

"Head to the Crystal Empire. I will retrieve our precious Luna," and Celestia flew to the battle zone.

And the closer she got, the weaker Luna became, and the amount of Windigos increased as well. Luna began to be struck more and was clearly in agony.

Celestia was now a few yards away. Luna was fading. The Windigos now ballooned as large as the mountains.

One yard away. Luna, now covered in frost, swung weakly at a passing Windigo, but another rammed her right at the back, and she screamed.

A few feet away. Celestia was being rammed by a few Windigos but she remained on course. Her horn glowed. Luna's eyes began to roll back. She wasn't sneezing anymore; she began to lose consciousness.

One feet away. Celestia ignited her horn and its tip was aflame. Luna began to fall and her body limp. The Windigos swarmed in for the-

Celestia caught her and the Windigos pounced and the two alicorns were covered in a golden aura and Celestia's flame ignited.

A giant fireball exploded right out of her horn that engulfed the mountain-sized Blizzard. The Windigos whinnied in pain as the flames enveloped them.

And out of the fireball, with smoke and soot, was Celestia cradling her precious and unconscious sister, covered in a protective aura. Luna was barely breathing and Celestia flew as quick as she could along the mountain peaks.

The Crystal Empire is closer to these parts, Sister will get treatment there- but her train of thought was interrupted by a massive howl of snow and cold.

Celestia took a quick look back and saw in horror, that out of the giant cloud of smoke, flew the Windigos once again.

They galloped relentlessly to her, covering everything in snow.

It seemed their number have increased even further, the Frozen Herd were now the size of an entire mountain, and were gaining on them. A colossal blizzard roared forth.

Celestia tried to fly as fast as she could by the mountain ranges' side, desperately to reach the Crystal Empire, but the Windigos' acceleration was unstoppable. The blizzard now caught up to them and completely engulfed the entire area ahead of Celestia and Luna.

She was snowblind, and she could feel the merciless breaths of the Windigos on her neck now. She now had no choice but to battle them with Luna in her hooves.

Suddenly, she heard the deepest and most reverberating shout she had ever heard, coming from near a mountain up ahead.

"PRIIIINCEEESS! OVER HEEREEE!!!"

His voice created a newfound determination in her. Celestia turned into a flaming comet once again, deliberately frying right through some overzealous Windigos.

Spoken was at the entrance of a small cave, who was jumping in panic.

"Hurry Princess! The Windigos! They're coming right behind you!" he bellowed.

She rocketed right into the cave, along with some icy winds that pursued.

But before the Frozen Herd could swarm in, Celestia conjured a golden shield that covered the entrance.

Quite a lot of Windigos splatted onto the shield in surprise. They began to beat and beat on the shield. Spoken stared in quiet horror at the muffled whinnies and hoof stomps, but it was clear that Celestia's shield will hold. The snowstorm outside raged on.

"Princess...?" began Spoken, and he saw that Celestia was now tending to her still unconscious sister, her horn glowed brightly that kept the shield up and alighted the cave.

She blew a warm, soothing breath that slowly defrosted Luna, and warmed the cold cave right up. Spoken could see that Celestia was sobbing quietly, but she quickly wiped away her tears.

"Spoken, please embrace my sister," she asked.

'Huh!?" exclaimed Spoken with a blush.

"She is cold, and she needs warmth desperately,"

"Oh, umm... yes, of course," he said wobbly, but approached Luna, nervously lied down and slowly spooned her into his warm embrace. He shivered and was shocked at how chilly her body still remained.

And to his surprise, and further blushing, Celestia wrapped her huge body over theirs as well.

"Princess? W-w-why are there suddenly so many more Windigos?" asked Spoken quietly, "Legend tells that there were only three present at that time,"

Celestia looked at her grievously injured sister with great sadness, "Luna. Luna must've confronted them head-on. Windigos thrive on fighting and hatred... Luna was filled with both, so much of both..."

"Oh dear... so, w-w-what do we do now?"

Celestia looked out at the shield. The Windigos were now circling the mountain, their lifeless eyes occasionally glared within the cave. They weren't going anywhere, not when Equestria's prize Alicorns lay within their hooves.

"Our options are not many," Celestia said gravely, "My mentors, Captain Pansy, Clover the Clever and Chancellor Smart Cookie once ignited the Fire of Friendship, and vanquished the Windigos,"

"That's great!" exclaimed Spoken with hope, "I think of you as my friend, Princess!"

"That is very sweet of you, Spoken, but there is one problem," and she looked at her still unconscious sister, "Our friendship alone is not enough to vanquish a now strengthened Frozen Herd. I can feel it. And what's more, my sister's own negative feelings for me upsets that fire,"

"Oh... so, is there another way?"

"Yes..." And Celestia glared intensely at the shield. The Windigos raced around the mountain even more, "My turn,"

Author's Note

1) Why are the Windigos so powerful? Simply because, in my mind, they're dealing with Alicorns, they will take the direct approach to take them out.

2) What's with Celestia and comets?? I wanted to be visually striking when describing her magic, so making her rocket around seems a cool way to do so... just realized I could turn her into Nyanlestia, but that wouldn't fit with my fic's context!

3) In the fight scenes, I was trying to strike a balance. Narrate too much and I risk making an info dump and losing its frantic pace; narrating too little and I risk leaving too many gaps. Did my balancing act work guys?

4) Oopsie! Just realized a special cameo will only be happening on the NEXT chapter! Sorry about that!

Sweet Snot of Mine

"Princess Celestia... you can't mean...! But they're so unstoppable!"

"If confronting them head on will better ensure your safety and my sister's, then so be it. Please, Spoken, take-"

A rumbling of rocks from deeper in the cave, which bolted Celestia straight up.

"Wh-wh-what was that...!?" shivered Spoken.

Celestia's secretly pounding heart raced even further. What could possibly be in this cave!? I could've sworn there wasn't any Windigos that came past me, she thought.

Celestia saw some rocks deeper within the cave had fallen loose and she slowly approached it.

And as she did, she heard the hushed arguing.

"Keep still! I heard she tracks her prey by movement!"

"That's a dragon's legend, brother! Has that crazy Luna fried your brains!?"

"Oh look who's talking fried, brother of mine!? The moment you saw her you screamed...!

"Hey, when she swoops in with lightning bolts ablaze, she looked like something right out of Tar-"

"Boys," Celestia curtly greeted the Flim Flam Brothers who were still hiding behind the rocks. They looked up. And they gulped.

"... Hey Princess Tia...?" Flim and Flam greeted, if quite uncertainly.

"We were just... you know!" began Flim nervously.

"Taking a little and totally legal walk to the Crystal Empire!" began Flam nervously.

"I heard it's a great place to rehabilitate naughty, naughty stallions like us!"

"Too bad about Princess Luna there, however-"

"Flam! Don't talk about Her Majesty like that!"

"What!? I'm offering my sympathies, brother! Even after she mercilessly-"

"That's quite enough from you two," she ordered, "Now tell me what happened. Do you two have anything to do with the Windigos?"

"What!? Oh no, no, Princess!" Flim quickly denied, "We were just taking a really extended winter hike along the borders-"

"Then we saw Princess Luna, and wouldn't you know it, we ran-"

"Not because she was frightening or anything, but because she wanted us to-"

"Exercise! Yes! She chased us with lightning bolts and all to get us galloping as punishment for being naughty, naughty ponies!"

"And then out of the blue, from beyond these mountains, came that living blizzard thing!"

"It was nothing like we've ever seen Princess, they came from the mountains!"

"And the snow started falling even harder if that could be believed! And when we saw her expression-"

'Well, let's just say that when you've seen Luna herself scared, you best high-tail out of there!"

"And then we took cover in this very cave!"

"Yes, indeed, this very cave, Your Sunliness! That's all we know! Honestly, we wouldn't dare harm your sister, who's lying there, with eyes twitching, with one eye opening, now two eyes have opened, now staring most foully at us...!"

"RUN BROTHER RUN!!"

And before the could gallop futilely deeper into the cave (with a clearly visible dead end), a blue aura wrapped around Flim and Flam's throats once again.

Luna bolted upright so fast, she didn't noticed a terrified Spoken holding on for dear life.

"I...FINALLY... CAUGHT... YOU... TWO...!!", panted Luna in a noticeably crazed daze.

"Luna! Stand down, lie down and let them go!" ordered Celestia.

Luna still wobbled but her stubborn face remained, and her weak voice shouted, "You do not tell me what to do, cake-eater! These two scoundrels have eluded me long enough and I will bring them to Equestrian Justice!"

And she turned away to the cave's exit, only to stare in surprise at what was beyond Celestia's shield. The Windigos' howling winds howled actually trembled the ground they were standing on now.

"So The Frozen Herd wants me again, then?" Luna rumbled. Her pace was slow, but she fearlessly walked towards the shield.

Celestia leaped to block her path, "Enough, sister! You are in no shape to fight the Herd!!"

"Begone, Celestia! Not when- wait, where is Spoken?" she looked around the cave, her eyes for the first time betraying a panicked pony.

"What happened to my precious subject, Celestia!?" demanded Luna in desperation and in exhaustion, "Where is my dear Spoken Softly!??"

"I'm right here, Princess...", spoken softly did Spoken Softly.

And that was when Luna finally realized that in all her time since she regained her conscience, and for the matter standing up, that Spoken had tightly wrapped his thick legs around Luna's curvy, yet very strong body.

She was carrying his entire weight and never realized it.

She looked down at him in surprise. His face was a glowing bright red, almost as much as her nose glowed, their illumination assisting Celestia in brightening up the cave.

"Awkward..." whispered Flim to Flam, even when their throats were in an uncomfortable grip from Luna's magic.

But without missing a beat, she raised an eyebrow, "Spoken Softly, pray tell, as to why you are in an inappropriate proximity to Your Princess?"

"Umm... y-y-you were cold, and you needed warming up?"

Luna considered this, "Hmm, it is true that the vile Frozen Herd has chilled my bones so, therefore I thank you, and therefore, release your grip this instant, Spoken Softly,"

"...no..." he squeaked shyly, tucking his face under his pink mane.

"This is not a matter of negotiations, Spoken Softly!" she said angrily, and shook her body in an attempt to loosen him, but it didn't work.

"If I release my hold, that'll mean you'll fly out to your doom in a heartbeat!" answered Spoken desperately, "And I know you won't let me get in harm's way! Well, unless it's regulated harm's way, at least,"

"So you are imprisoning me here with your own body!? When we get out of this mess, you will be cleaning the entire palace for- achoo! Achoo!"

Spoken stuck a hankie-covered hoof out to wipe her nose for the nth time. "Thank you, *sniff*, Spoken Softly," sniffled Luna, Now release me,"

Spoken withdrew his hoof back quickly and hugged with all four legs once again, "No!"

And then Celestia approached Luna, much to her chagrin.

"Luna, this farce has gone on for far too long!" scolded Celestia, "You need to stay here and rest!"

"I may have a runny *sniff* nose, Celestia, but I'm not defeated just yet!" retorted Luna.

"Yes you are defeated, sister! How can you get out there and fight when you look just like Roald-dolph the Red-nosed Rain-deer!" snapped Celestia.

"WHAT!?" said Luna, embarrassed and shocked, "I do not look like that silly little Rain-deer from that children's storybook! *SNIFF*"

"As far as I'm concerned, you're certainly acting much more foolishly than that Rain-deer!"

"Ha! Says the over-sized goose who tried to feed me that swill of a soup!" Luna snapped, her eyes glared at the taller pony, who glared right back.

"It is to heal you, you ungrateful little-"

And the two began to argue again. And Spoken could barely get a word in, "Oh no! Oh, please Princesses, don't fight, please don't-"

And Spoken's mid-air pleadings fell on deaf ears.

Meanwhile, Flim and Flam were having their own conversation.

"A fine conundrum we're in, brother: two princesses arguing and a monster blizzard outside ready to wipe us all out, and a magical necklace that's been on us one too many times!" stated Flim, "How are going to get out of this one??"

"How can we get out of this one, brother!?" cried Flam, "Let's face it: we're doomed, with a capital D!"

"Aargh!! It's this kind of namby-pamby attitude that got us caught in the Sisterhooves Social in the first place!"

"Oh you just had to bring up that idiotic plan of yours! That wasn't my fault you know, that dress you picked out for me was too tight!"

"You wanted me to get you skin-tight, so I got you skin-tight!"

"Skin-tight does not mean an easily torn dress upon the first gallop! Did you realize how shameful I looked, brother, with a ripped dress and without my precious-"

"If you say mustache one more time brother, so help me, I will shave it off once again!"

And the brothers continued arguing, much to Spoken's horror, "Flim! Flam! Please don't argue! You're brothers! You're not supposed to argue...!"

But of course, his pleads once again fell on deaf ears, as the pair of siblings argued and bickered noisily, without aim and direction.

"STUBBORN MULE!" yelled Celestia.

"LEGS! *SNIFF* THOU ART NOTHING BUT LEGS!" yelled Luna.

"PRETTY PONY PRINCESS!" yelled Flim.

"YOU'RE THE PRETTY PONY PRINCESS!" yelled Flam.

Spoken was at a loss of words as he hung on desperately, having no aim or direction to solve this predicament. No clue as to what to do.

Then he noticed something close to Flim and Flam, something on the cave walls, in fact, a small little scribbling covered in dust.

It looked completely inconspicuous, which was why Flim and Flam paid it no heed.

"I-I-It can't... be..." he murmured, actually letting go of Luna, and walking towards said wall. Luna and Celestia did not notice, and continued bickering as if nothing had changed.

He was right beside it, and it was covered in ancient dust and cobwebs, even as Flim and Flam ignored him and continued arguing.

The winter outside also raged louder than ever before.

Spoken carefully wiped it with his hoof, and there it was, carved onto the cave walls itself: Private Pansy.

He wiped the cobwebs around it as well, and in its fully revealed glory:

Friends forever,
Smart Cookie, Private Pansy and Clover the Clever

Spoken quickly wiped the rest of the wall off, and marveled at his discovery.

A little tear flowed from his eye, and he began to sing from the walls, a strong, warm voice filled the cave, and blanketed all the other noises.

♪♪"The fire of friendship lives in our hearts
As long as it burns we cannot drift apart
Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few..."♪♪

It wasn't an instant process.

"-CAN'T EVEN..." and Flim stopped himself, and so did Flam, now finally looking at Spoken. His deep and gentle singing made them feel comforted and relaxed.

They looked up and gasped at his discovery.

"-TYRANT!" and then Luna sneezed, "Achoo! Thank you Spoke-"

And she realized Spoken was not there to wipe her snot-covered nose.

"Sister, look..." pointed Celestia at Spoken. And they both did, and were in shock as well.

♪♪"Laughter and singing will see us through, will see us through
We are a circle of pony friends
A circle of friends we'll be to the very end,"♪♪

The pair of siblings slowly made their way and marveled at the writings that Spoken had revealed: lyrics.

The famed and cherished songs of Hearths' Warming Eve carved in stone, signed by the three ponies that vanquished the Windigos all those years ago.

Luna's frazzled mind was taken to a different place, "Chancellor Smart Cookie, Clover the Clever..."

"And Private Pansy, or rather, Captain Pansy, when we knew him," said Celestia nostalgically, "So the three didn't make up the stories after all. They actually did create all those songs, right here in this cave. How did you come about it when none of us did?"

"I... I performed as Private Pansy very often in my school days," whispered Spoken with a blush, "So I knew what his signature looked like,"

"But why did you started singing, Spoken Softly?" inquired Luna.

Spoken looked at Celestia, almost confused, "I'm not sure, Princess. It just felt like the right thing to do, since everyone was arguing..."

"Indeed. We are in hallowed grounds," stated Luna, her head held in shame, "The very birthplace of Equestria itself,"

Celestia's ears drooped sadly, "And we have shamed it with our terrible words..."

"Our mentors would have been surely disappointed,"

Flim, Flam and Spoken were a little alarmed by the now crestfallen sisters.

"It's not too late, you know," said Spoken, "I mean, to... err, un-dissapoint them?"

Unbeknownst to the five ponies, the Windigos have been swirling the mountains to encompass it with their magical frost. Slowly, but surely, it began to seep through Celestia's shield.

"How so, Spoken?" asked Celestia.

The frost crept quietly, but came closer.

"Well, I think Smart Cookie, Clover the Clever and Private Pansy, would've liked it if you two, you know, hugged and forgave each other?"

Celestia and Luna stared at Spoken, then at each other, and then looked quickly away in embarrassment.

"I... I suppose I have been quite harsh with my words..." began Luna, without looking at Celestia.

"...and I... I guess I have been wearing nostalgia goggles..." said Celestia, "Ever since I saw you with that little bright nose,"

"...Celestia, what in blazes are nostalgia goggles...?" asked Luna disapprovingly, "You were not wearing any goggles of the sort,"

Everypony was too caught up with Luna and Celestia that nopony noticed the frost inching and surrounding the cave.

"No Luna, it's when a pony views something with a lot of nostalgia and..." Celestia rubbed her leg shyly, "I was blinded by the past, seeing you looking so vulnerable, I just couldn't help myself but be protective of you,"

"...I suppose my over-dedication to my duties did not help either, did it, Celestia?" asked Luna.

Celestia giggled quietly, "A little,"

"It's just... I know I am ill, I know this!" Luna stamped the ground in frustration, "But guilt runs in my very spirit, Tia. I am guilty for what I was, and I must atone for it,"

Without warning, Celestia once again embraced Luna in hoof and wing.

"Don't ever speak that way of yourself, sister, I beg of you!!" cried Celestia, her tears flowed immediately, and she sobbed and sobbed, "Waaaaaaaaaahhh...!!"

"Celestia, Celestia, why are you crying?" she asked in shock, her own tears started to flow.

"I am haunted, my darling Luna! Haunted by the thought of you overdoing something, being guilty over something, and losing you all over again! You have lighted the world of Equestria with your magical Night, my sister! Ever since you came back! You have done enough, my sweet sister!"

"Celestia...?"

"Yes, sister?"

"I believe you are wearing those 'nostalgia goggles' again," she whispered mischievously.

Celestia's sobs were instantly replaced with a cough and laugh, "After a thousand years of not hearing your blunt tongue, Luna, they have become quite thick,"

Luna nuzzled deeper into Celestia's warmth, "I apologize,"

"Apologize, for what? You did nothing wrong,"

"Celestia, do not be silly. I tried to worked through my foolish cold like a foalish fool,"

"Then... I'm sorry for wrapping you up in my tiny Lunar-rito,"

"I apologize for ostracizing myself from you,"

"I'm sorry I interrupted your dream-walking with that handsome stallion,"

"I apologize for calling you 'legs',"

"I'm sorry I sashayed around my babysitting baby-sitter's kit,"

"*SNIFF*I apologize for yelling at you during Court,"

"I'm sorry for shoving a sippy cup on you during Court,"

"I do not think I can forgive you for that one,"

Celestia started to cry again, "Waaaaaaahhh...!"

"Okay! Okay! I forgive you!" said Luna quickly, "Yeesh, sister! Sometimes, I think I am the elder sibling!"

"Waaaaaaahhh...!"

"What now, sister!?"

"You called me sister again!" cried Celestia through her tears, and began to snuggle her little sister.

Luna leaned back onto her, sniffling heavily and gaining back some heat, "I will always be your sister, Tia, no matter what,"

Celestia looked at Luna lovingly, "Likewise, my little sister, likewise,"

They closed their eyes, and hugged, tenderly and willingly. Spoken wiped a tear from his eye; His Princess and Princess Celestia were finally at peace with one another. A warm, pink glow emanated from them.

The Windgos felt this, and changed their tactic from slowly freezing the cave to directly ramming onto the shield as hard as they could. They brought the entire blizzard down upon the shield, and it spread the frost even quicker; the shield began to crack.

Spoken turned to the brothers; the both of them stared at the Princesses with teary eyes, caught completely up with the emotions of how loving the sisters were to each other.

"Err, Flim and Flam?" signaled Spoken.

"Huh??" snapped Flim and Flam, both stared at Spoken, then at each other, and turned away blushing and looking sheepish.

The magical frost has completely enveloped the cave with only a circle unblemished where the five ponies sat.

A plan popped in this mind.

"Flam, according to your brother's files for Twilight Court," said Spoken,"It seemed that Flim actually smuggled in some Mustache Multiplying Medicine so you could grow it back quicker, right?"

"Err, yes, he did?" answered Flam.

"And Flim, in your files, it's reported that your brother protected you when you angered a Griffon, he even sustained serious injuries, right?"

"Well, yeah," he said sheepishly, and turned to Flam, "Again, brother, I'm really I tried to flirt with that Griffon girl!"

The golden shield began to crack open and a little bit of the blizzard began to whistle in.

"I'll take a feather-brained bite for you anyday, brother," Flam said sheepishly.

They both smiled at each other. Then they broke down, started weeping, then crying, then embraced each other.

"WAAAAAAAHHH!!" went Flim and Flam.

"I love you, brother!" cried Flim.

And the shield cracked some more.

"Let's never fight again, brother!" cried Flam.

It began to shake and the WIndigos piled the pressure on.

"Okay, brother! I love you so much brother!!"

The snow and blizzard howled in. Everything but the five ponies was snow-covered.

"Let's love each other in a macho, manly, brotherly way, brother!"

The shield finally shattered.

"Okay, brother!!"

The Frozen Herd flew in.

And they both cried like little fillies, "UWAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

And they too were blanketed by a pink aura, and in tandem with the Sisters, glowed brighter and stronger.

The Windigos just about reached the nearest ponies, Celestia and Luna, but the Power of (Sibling) Love has been ignited.

The pink expanding aura began to balloon in size and it impacted upon the Windigos and caught them by surprise.

They pushed and pushed the aura, desperate to get to its power source, but the Power of (Sibling) Love would not let up.

And within the aura, Spoken felt all tingly and nice and comfy in it.

In spite of Flim and Flam's emotional torrent.

He looked at Celestia and Luna, still bathed in peace and harmony, only noticing each other.

Spoken sees his Princess, and how happy, how gentle she looked. It was such a rare sight.

He knew that he and her, would never be.

He closed his eyes to embrace the nice, comfy aura, with a little smile and a little tear for what will always be.

As it turned out, though he never felt it, a pink aura came from within him as well: The Power of (Unrequited) Love.

The combination of the two Powers, not to mention being in such a confined and concentrated space, completely threw off any chance the Windigos had.

The aura shockwave-ed through the cave, blasting the whinnying Windigos out of the cave, as if it were a beam of pink light.

The pink aura sent them hurtling far across the horizon beyond Equestria, with no trace of the Frozen Herd left.

The ponies cautiously came out of the cave; much of the snow has been cleared, and the cold weather was back to its normal mountain range temperature.

Which, to Luna's annoyance, was still frigidly biting, in spite of Spoken's unbecoming bathrobe on her that he insisted he draped over her.

"Achoo! Hmph, victory by way of magical emotional energies," commented Luna, "Efficient, *SNIFF* not my preferred method of vanquishing foes, but efficient,"

"So, we won?" asked Flim.

"Yes, indeed, Flim," answered Celestia, "Thanks in part to you and your brother, for embracing the Power of Brotherly Love,"

Flim and Flam looked at each other in amazement, then at Celestia.

"Then, that means..."

"We were part of the vanquishing of one of Equestria's greatest foes...?"

"Indeed," said Celestia.

"WOO!" hollered Flim and Flam, and gave each other a high hoof.

"So then Princess!"

"Since we have contributed in the most dangerous task of assisting you in defeating the Frozen Herd-"

"Is it not fair that we receive some reward-"

"Or maybe a pardon, perhaps? Hmm...!?"

And they flashed their most sickeningly sweet smile at Luna's sister.

Luna 'hurrumph-ed', and magically choked them, and pulled them close to her once again.

"Need I remind the two of you..." threatened Luna menacingly, with a sniffle, "That I am in this dreadful state, with Princess Celestia's and Spoken Softly's safety in jeopardy, with inadequate circumstances to combat the WIndigos, with my personal assistant's bathrobe wrapped around me, because of the two you...!?"

The two brothers gulped in fear; that Royal Canterlot Snout, so drippy...

"BUT! I am not without consideration, for without the two of you, the Windigos may not have been defeated," admitted Luna, much to everyone's surprise.

"Therefore, I will see to it that your act of heroism today is taken into account when we review your sentencing," she stated, and released her grip on them.

Flim and Flam stared at her in amazement, and out of nowhere, snatched her up and hugged her, jumping up and down in joy.

"Oh thank you, thank you, Your Nightliness!" yelled Flim happily.

"You do have a heart after all!" yelled Flam happily.

"You're our new favorite Princess!"

"Flim! Flam! Release me this-" but before Luna could choke them again, the ponies heard a voice from a distance.

"Unhand her, criminal scum!"

And a white and golden streak came rushing down, and Flim and Flam were knocked away from Luna with such precision that Luna barely felt anything.

"...instant?"

Turns out the streak was none other than Lieutenant Silver Streak, famed ex-Wonderbolt turned Royal Guard. And she's currently beating up Flim and Flam.

"ANGRY TIGER KICK!" and Silver swatted Flim repeatedly with her hooves.

"MONKEY-STYLE HOOVES!" and she kept slapping Flam repeatedly with her hooves.

"And for my Ultra Combo Finisher: RAGING HORMONAL MARE!!" Silver tossed the two stallions up in the air, jumped up, and scissored their necks with her back legs.

Gravity slammed them on the ground, with Silver's legs acting as a guillotine to perform the crushing blow.

"FLAWLESS VICTORY!! The perps have been taken out, and taken down, Princesses!" saluted Silver as she continued squeezing the two hapless stallions as a security measure, "Looks like I got here just in time! I hope you're alright Princess Luna, those two had the legendary Double Dragon Vice Grip on you... err, why are you guys looking at me funny like that?"

"Ahem, these two actually helped in defeating the Windigos," answered Celestia confidently, "And they were just hugging Luna out of joy,"

"Ohhh...!" Silver Streak looked at her hoofwork, and promptly relaxed her deathgrip as Flim and Flam's faces were turning blue.

"So the real baddies were already beaten?" she asked.

"Indeed, Lieutenant Silver Streak," said Luna.

"Aww, the Royal Guards never get to save the day!" Silver Streak complained, "What the point of having a cutie mark that says 'KAPOW!!' over an awesome speech bubble if I can't beat the main baddies!? Well, at least I got to beat the two of you, right boys?"

She squeezed her legs a smidgen to get a response. They gasped for air and nodded with a whimper.

Spoken Softly tapped Luna on her shoulder, "Emm, Princess Luna?"

"Yes, Spoken Softly," and she turned to him.

Spoken Softly could barely hold back his laughter, "Princess, Hee-hee! It's got two big snot-lines down your nose! Hee-hee!"

Luna was not amused, "Wipe my nose, Spoken Softly,"

"Eep!" went Spoken and began to quickly clean Luna's snout, "And there we go, Prin...cess...?"

He was not expecting Luna's hoof to be on his shoulder, and her beautiful face (and red snout) so close to his face he could smell her breath (sure it smelt of vapor rub, but Spoken isn't one to complain).

"Spoken Softly, you have been a most loyal Personal Assistant and compatriot," declared Luna gently, "You have become the guiding star in my life..."

Celestia, Silver Streak, Flim and Flam couldn't believe their eyes. Was she finally going to...?

Now she had both hooves on his shoulders; Spoken's was blushing and not breathing.

"There is something I need to say to you," whispered Luna.

It couldn't be... is she... IS SHE...!!?, his thoughts all out the window as the two ponies were silhouetted by the evening sun (Celestia set some mood lighting to encourage Luna).

Her face was nearly touching his face, and Spoken was still as a stone, and wondering whether it was appropriate to pucker his lips.

Suddenly, Luna wrapped her hooves around Spoken's body, flew up in the sky, and did what she does best.

Declaring.

"SPOKEN SOFTLY!! FOR THINE TIRELESS SERVICE TO YOUR PRINCESS, FINDING THE ORIGINAL CARVINGS OF THE SONGS OF HEARTHS WARMING EVE, AND ASSISTING IN VANQUISHING THE FROZEN HERD, THOU SHALT BE GRANTED A PAY-RAISE AND TWO VOUCHERS DONUT JOE'S DONUT SHOP, HA-HA!! AND THINE VISAGE SHALL FOREVER BE IMMORTALIZED ON THE WINDOWS OF CANTERLOT CAST-"

"Sister, I already told you that the windows were meant for the Elements of Harmony," reminded Celestia, "Shining Armour, Cadance and especially Spike were pushing it,"

"-WILL FOREVER BE IMMORTALIZED WITH A FANCY GOLDEN MEDAL! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WE SHALT DUB THEE, SPOKEN SOFTLY: THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT'S BEST FRIEND FOREVER!!!"

Luna looked quite pleased with herself, as she held Spoken in her legs like an oversized plushie. Spoken dug his face under his mane, secretly angry with himself.

Stupid! Stupid! What was I thinking: to pucker or not to pucker! Oh Spoken, you're such a foal!, he angrily thought.

Silver Streak and looked at Celestia and mouthed to her wordlessly, 'really!?'

Celestia simply shrugged her shoulders, having seen this happen time and time again.

Luna's Friend-Zone has claimed another victim; I'm never going to marry that filly off, thought Celestia.

Celestia decided to get back to business, to save Spoken some grace, "Silver Streak, where are the rest of the Royal Guards? I believe we require some transportation back home as we had quite the draining day,"

"Aww, those slowpokes are still lagging behind!" complained Silver, "They're just not able to bolt through as fast as I- hey Princess, why are you holding your face funny like that?"

Celestia's face went all scrunchy... and sneezed, "Ah...! Chee...! Ah...! Chee...!"

Silver Streak was impressed, "Wow Princess! Even your sneezes are cute!"

"Ah...! Chee...! Oh dear..." whined Celestia, her nose now bright red as well.

"HA! Serves you right, big sister!!" laughed a very pleased Luna, "This is what you get for forgoing my personal space! Today is a good day after all!"

"Ah...! Chee...! Ha-ha! "Ah...! Chee...! I suppose I- "Ah...! Chee...! Deserve it," said Celestia with her bell-like laugh and filly-like sneeze.

Spoken looked up to see a wide, cheesy smile on Luna's face that gave a good-natured laugh. He laughed a little as well.

Beating an almightly living blizzard, getting the two sisters back together again, getting two raises on the same day, and having Celestia finally get her comeuppance.

Today was a good day after all.

Author's Note

1) I based the spelling of 'Windigos' from . Same goes with Big Mac.

2)This is slightly off-topic, but I realized that the Windigos was actually Sombra done right. The Windigos had a genuine psychological effect on the ponies, whilst Sombra had a scary door and throwaway lines. A pity really. That door was cool however.

3) Spoken's bathrobe looks just like the one Fluttershy wore in Hurricane Fluttershy!

4) Yes Silver Streak 1, I made your OC a kung-fu slinging butt-kicker. Because it's awesome.

5) It was carved because Clover the Clever can.. I dunno', laser the walls I guess?

6) Hearths' Warming Eve, I personally think, is a seriously underrated episode, and arguably one of the best 'adventure' episodes, having a great mix of hilarious politicking and high drama.

7) The next, and final chapter are two epilogues, that are... well... you'll see.

I Sneeze You

The Gates of Tartarus was an unearthly portal with two massive doors, that when fully opened, could easily fit through an Ursa Major.

It bordered Equestria's mountain ranges and the dark forest regions of the Badlands, thusly located in a secret, hidden location, far beyond anybody who cherished their life.

However, its faithful, if slightly scatterbrained gatekeeper, the massive three-headed Cerberus, was nowhere to be seen.

But worst of all, the Gates were slightly opened.

A tiny rustle was heard by nobody from the edge of the forest region. And out galloped Trixie, panting and running, with her hat and cape in tatters.

She skidded to a halt in front of the Gates and screamed at the thundering noise from the forest region that got closer and closer.

"THE GREAT AND EXHAUSTED TRIXIE DOES NOT HAVE ANYMORE BANANAS, YOU THREE-HEADED NINNY! STOP CHASING TRIXIE!!"

And out popped the great Cerberus, panting and three tongues flopping out, happy to see his new friend and giver of the yummy yellow sticks. He liked sticks, especially when they're edible.

Trixie screamed again, and ran off to the Equestria's mountain ranges, equally as dangerous as the Badlands.

"ALL TRIXIE WANTED TO DO WAS TO CHECK IF TWILIGHT SPARKLE ACTUALLY CAME HERE, NOT BE CHASED BY A GIANT MUTT!! AAARGHHHH...!!!"

His new friend's screams excited him even further; this was much more fun than when his purple friend played fetch with him with a ball for a bit, and then merely teleported him back to the Gates of Tartarus. At least she gave him the ball.

He would've pursued his new blue friend but he heard something. Something that should not be out in this world that he guards.

And Cerberus saw from the distance, came the Windigos.

Their tumbling and panicked whinnies were a sign that their momentum was not their own.

He looked at the Gates, and all three heads gasped that it was slightly opened. The Windigos must have forced themselves out when he wasn't here!

The left head looked up again, and could see that the Windigos were tumbling straight for the Gates. He barked at the other two, and Cerberus began to pull the Gates wider and wider until it almost fully opened.

Cerberus braced himself, and the Frozen Herd, along with their blizzard, rocketed straight into the Gates.

Cerberus began to close the Heavy Gates shut, but a Windigo tried to slip out. He quickly jumped up to bite its ethereal tail and flung it back in with the rest.

The Windigos from behind the Gates looked at him with almost pleading eyes, but Cerberus's three mouths growled, which frightened the scared Windigos deeper back in, until Cerberus finally closed the Gates shut.

Cerberus shook his body; he did not like the Windigos.

He sniffed the air for his blue friend; all three heads whimpered when he caught no scent of her, not even the scent of the tasty yellow sticks.

His minds were put to ease however, when he saw his ball given by his purple friend.

He played with it, and all was well.

At a later time, in a location probably impossible to pinpoint...

Spoken Softly could not remember where he was before this. But he was now lying on a vast field and he was looking up. And what a sight it was.

On one half was the night, serene and starry. But by his right shoulder, was the day, perfectly sunny and warm. And in between was a little twilight, looking a little awkward and neurotic, but beautiful nonetheless.

He noticed a huge red stallion with an apple cutie mark right beside him, on the borders of where the day cast the field with light. He noticed that on his side of the field was a moonlit night.

The red stallion continued looking up, but blinked, and finally turned to his left and looked straight onto Spoken's face. His eyes was wide in surprise, almost alarmed. Spoken looked at him shyly, his pink mane hiding parts of his face.

"Um... hello?" greeted Spoken.

The stallion cocked his head in confusion and said, "Fluttershy?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not her," Spoken answered politely, "I know I get mistaken often for her as we both have the same mane and fur color, but I'm not her,"

The red stallion gave a smile, and mysteriously, a sigh of relief, "Eeyup,"

"I... I'm Spoken Softly, if that helps,"

"I'm Big McIntosh," he replied. This 'ere pony must be some Jazz singer or someth', he thought.

And he continued admiring his side of the sky, "Nice weather we're havin',"

"Oh yes, definitely," answered Spoken a little more confidently. He found Big McIntosh to be nice and quiet.

"So, why's your side of the sky night and my side as purty as day?" asked Big McIntosh.

Spoken looked up at the perfect skyline(s). He gave a brief though before asking, "Hmm... by any chances, do you know Princess Celestia?"

"Eeyup," answered Big McIntosh briefly, "Not closely, but ah' met her once in a dream. Princess Luna was there too, matter of fact. And mah' sister meets 'er often enough. She's one of them Elements o' Harmony,"

"I see, I see," thought Spoken, "If Princess Luna was there, then that means the Celestia you saw was the real one... may I ask something a little personal, Big McIntosh?"

"Ah' don't see why not," chirped Big McIntosh in a friendly manner.

"By any chances, are you in love with the Sun Princess?"

Big McIntosh looked at him in surprise. Then his own cogs started turning, and smirked, "Are y'all in love with the Nite' Princess, then?"

Spoken blushed sheepishly.

"Yer' a brave stallion," complimented Big McIntosh.

"Oh no, I'm not brave," replied Spoken, "I actually work as Princess Luna's personal assistant, so I know her personally,"

"Yer' a stallion that's lost his mind," retorted Big McIntosh.

Spoken chuckled from the deep chasm that is his diaphragm, "She's actually quite nice once you get to know her. I would know, I got charmed rather quickly by her, She's so strong and so proud..."

"Princess Luna once came to celebrate Nightmare Night where ah' live," explained Big McIntosh, "Ah' know yer' right,"

"Wow... it's rare to find a stallion who does, frankly," marveled Spoken in quiet amazement.

"And ta' answer 'yer question: eeyup," and Big McIntosh sighed, "Ahm' in love with the Sun Princess, in spite livin' miles away, she bein' a Princess, an' me just a farmpony,"

"Lemme' guess: but she doesn't know your feelings for her?" prodded Spoken further.

"Eeyup,"

"Same here,"

"...but, don't cha' work fer' Princess Luna?"

"...My Princess is famously, umm, how should I put this nicely... all work and no play makes Luna a very, very thick-headed mare?"

Big McIntosh openly chuckled at that one, "Eeyup. We're both two 'lil stallions in love with the two most unattainable mares in Equestria,"

"Eeyup," said Spoken, and they both sighed at the same time.

"So, ahm' guessin' we're in some shared dream?" inquired Big McIntosh.

"This must be the case," said Spoken, "Shared dreams only occur when the two strong feelings of two ponies are properly aligned in such a way as to be intrinsically linked with one another, in order to give some resolution to the two ponies,"

"So, what yer' sayin' is that yer' how I feel... bro?"

Spoken nodded, "Yes indeed. I know how you feel as well... bro,"

"So..."

"So..."

"Are we supposed ta' be givin' each other a 'I know that feel bro' hug?"

"Oh, well, yes, I think that would be the logical outcome out of all of this, Big McIntosh,"

"Eeyup,"

"Eeyup, and thank you for knowing how I feel... bro,"

"Thank y'all for knowin' how ah' feel... bro,"

And they turned shyly to one another, slowly spooned each into a hug, right above the twilight zone, and patted each other sympathetically, if not a little awkwardly, on their respective backs, to know that feel bro.

THE END... BRO.

Author's Note

1) that epilogue... why??? I dunno', I just realized I had the opportunity to make a ridiculously long and convoluted joke with the two stallions, so as usual, I ran with it, scissors and everything... bro.

2) To be frank, I actually didn't want Spoken Softly to have such an important role, but usually for these kinds of fic, I allow for a natural ebb and flow to allow it to narrate itself naturally. And Spoken naturally evolved into becoming an important character. I think it's 'cos I needed someone to bounce Luna off on, and a Fluttershy-esque character seems to fit.

That, and the above chapter/joke.

3) Bananas, in case it wasn't obvious. I feel that I have a tendency to want to wrap up every plothole I have.

4) http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/107/432/i_hug_that_feel.png

Thanks for reading everypony!