Lyra and Bon Bon's Forty Day Cruise

by Bronystories

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Berry Punch, Zecora, Alternate Universe, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Angel, Romance, Adventure, Sex
Length: 23811

Living in ancient Sodom, Lyra disguises Bon Bon as a unicorn so they can sneak aboard Noah's Ark.

In the ancient city of Sodom, Lyra and Bon Bon sneak onto Noah's Ark by pretending to be husband and wife. Thanks to a fake horn on Bon Bon, the human prophet Noah thinks the two marefriends are the missing unicorn couple he needed for the ark.

Can Lyra and Bon Bon keep their true identities hidden from Noah? It won't be easy when their every move is being scrutinized by the cripplingly homophobic earth pony couple. Will Evangelical Hope and her husband Adamic Faith expose Lyra and Bon Bon for who they are, or will this forty day cruise be smooth sailing?

Cover image by Why485

Published 2013-03-29 18:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-15 00:12:13 UTC

Genesis Chapter Six

Long ago, in the city of Sodom, there lived a unicorn named Lyra. She walked amongst humans, which wasn't particularly unique, as it was commonplace in those days for people to see unicorns. As was the case with most members of her species, Lyra possessed a wild and independent nature. It was rare to see a domesticated unicorn, and Lyra was no exception. She enjoyed her freedom, even if it made her life more challenging.

The region round about Sodom was suffering from the worst drought it had seen in decades. Due to a lack of rain, many local plants were drying up, which meant Lyra often went to bed hungry. Without an owner to care for her, Lyra had to fend for herself if she wanted to eat. Fortunately for her, Lyra's marefriend was more than willing to share her food.

Bon Bon was a domesticated earth pony who pulled a wagon for her owner, an olive oil merchant. In Sodom, as well as the neighboring city of Gomorrah, olive oil was a serious commodity. As a result of the drought, any sort of lubricant was big business, and business was certainly booming for Bon Bon and her owner. It was dinnertime as Lyra trotted through the grove of olive trees towards Bon Bon's holding pen. Lyra hid behind a tree and watched as a human set some hay out for Bon Bon.

"Eat up, pony," the man said, "Tonight's your big night."

He then tussled Bon Bon's mane affectionately before going back inside to prepare his merchandise for tonight. Over the years, Bon Bon’s owner had become quite a skilled packer. When she was sure that they were alone, Bon Bon motioned for her marefriend to come closer. As Lyra cautiously approached the fence, Bon Bon brought her dinner over for the two of them to share.

"Thanks," Lyra said as Bon Bon pushed some hay under the fence, "I'm starving."

Bon Bon made sure to give the larger portion of the food to her marefriend, as she knew how scarce food was for wild unicorns. Lyra hated feeling like a mooch, so she always tried to bring a little treat for Bon Bon whenever she visited.

"I have something for you," Lyra said, "I know eating hay every day must get dull."

Lyra used her unicorn magic to levitate what looked like a large, almond-shaped, brown raisin into Bon Bon's pen. Bon Bon curiously sniffed at it before taking a bite.

"Mmmm," Bon Bon said, happily, "It's so sweet. What is this?"

"A date," Lyra said, "A Sukkari date, to be more specific. It's the sweetest kind there is; Sweets for the sweet."

It was a cheesy line, but it made Bon Bon smile just the same. Lyra levitated a second date and popped it into her mouth. For a moment, neither pony spoke. They just chewed quietly and enjoyed one another's company.

"Well, I like these dates," Bon Bon said, smiling, "We should have dates together more often."

Once she had finished her treat, Bon Bon lowered her head to take a bite of hay. Lyra had yet to touch her dinner. She was too nervous to eat. Lyra was having difficulty gaining the confidence to propose her idea to Bon Bon. After a lengthy pause, she just blurted it out.

"Run away with me, Bon Bon," Lyra said, "Leave your wagon behind you and live a free life together with me." Bon Bon lifted her head quickly and stared at her marefriend. Lyra had hinted at running off together before, but this was the first time she had been so bold as to speak plainly about it.

"You know I can't," Bon Bon said, looking away embarrassed, "I could never abandon my owner. He raised me from a foal. He’s like a father to me."

"But he doesn't love you like I do," Lyra said, "You're just a beast of burden to him. If you left, he'd replace you without a second thought. Nopony could ever replace you in my heart."

The two ponies were silent as Bon Bon considered her options. She looked back at her soft straw bed and warm blanket. Bon Bon loved her marefriend, but she’d also grown accustomed to the life of a domesticated Earth pony. After a moment of quiet contemplation, she turned back to stare at Lyra, who looked passionate and determined.

"I love you, Bon Bon," Lyra said, "I can take care of you."

"I love you too, Lyra," Bon Bon said, wincing, "but you can barely take care of yourself." This unabashed statement of truth cut Lyra to the quick. She blushed with embarrassment and fell momentarily silent.

"We're barely surviving on my owners' hay as it is," Bon Bon said, "If I were a wild pony like you, I don't know how we'd find enough food to eat.” Lyra stared at Bon Bon without saying a word.

“You could always see if my owner would take you in,” Bon Bon said, “We could pull his cart together." The thought of trading her freedom for a harness was not something Lyra was willing to consider. Never one to shrink or admit defeat, Lyra was ready with a heartfelt, if somewhat vague, rejoinder.

"I'm working on a plan," Lyra said, "I... I'll figure out a way for both of us to be free. Isn't that what you want?" Bon Bon stared at Lyra pitiably before looking away and closing her eyes.

Feeling rejected, Lyra pressed her forehead against the wooden fence and stared at the ground. She let out a depressed sigh. Bon Bon saw her friend's despondency and felt sympathy towards her. Using one of her forehooves, Bon Bon lifted Lyra's head and gazed lovingly into her moist eyes.

"Chin up," Bon Bon said, smiling, "Of course I want to be with you. We just need to wait for the right time."

"When will that be?" Lyra asked, longingly.

"You'll know when you see it," Bon Bon said, reassuringly, "and when it comes, I'll be right there with you."

"I suppose good things are worth waiting for," Lyra said, complicity. The two marefriends nuzzled their noses before kissing each other through the fence. After breaking the kiss, Lyra realized that she wasn't going to convince Bon Bon to leave any time soon, so she decided to change the subject by asking Bon Bon about her day.

"So, how's Two Legs doing?" Lyra asked. Two Legs was Bon Bon's nickname for her owner. It wasn’t very original by pony standards. It would be comparable to calling a dog ‘Fido’ or ‘Spot.’

"He's doing well," Bon Bon said, "We've been busy traveling all over Sodom delivering oil. Both scented and unscented."

"Anything exciting going on in town?" Lyra asked.

"There's a big event happening in the high places this evening," Bon Bon said, "The city guards put up a roadblock. They wouldn't let Two Legs in, at first. He left me standing with his wagon while he bribed the guards behind a bush."

"Sounds like he had to grease a few palms before they let him inside," Lyra said, shrewdly.

"This isn't the first time Two Legs has had to conduct business under the table," Bon Bon said, knowingly, "Sometimes he has to bend over backwards to make a sale, but the payload is always worth it in the end. He’s really good at finding the best places to flaunt his merchandise. It seems like everywhere we go, someone's eager to give him a hot tip for the right price."

"Two Legs sounds like a real hardened professional," Lyra said, "So, what's the event tonight?"

"Well, the humans are having a dance to honor their fertility god, Baal." Bon Bon said, "It's the annual Baal's Balls Ball."

"That's quite a mouthful," Lyra said, chuckling.

"Two Legs managed to secure a booth at the event to sell his oil,” Bon Bon said, “Apparently, this year's Baal's Balls Ball will go down in the annals of Sodomite history."

"Sounds like something I should check out," Lyra said.

"You might even see me there," Bon Bon said, winking, "While he was setting up his booth, Two Legs arranged for me to participate in one of tonight's ceremonies!" Lyra's face lit up and she beamed with pride.

"Little Bon Bon, the center of attention," Lyra said happily, "In that case, I'll definitely be there! So, what are you going to do exactly?"

"I don't know," Bon Bon said, nervously, "I hope I don't embarrass myself." Just then, Bon Bon’s stomach rumbled. Lyra winced as she looked down and saw that her marefriend had already finished her meager portion of hay.

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Lyra said. Her face flushed with guilt, Lyra pushed the rest of her hay back through the fence for Bon Bon. Lyra couldn't bring herself to eat when she knew that Bon Bon was still hungry.

“Lyra,” Bon Bon said, in an objecting tone.

"Eat up," Lyra said encouragingly, "You'll need your strength for whatever the humans have planned." Bon Bon was about to insist that Lyra eat her share, but before Bon Bon could interject, Lyra backed away from the fence.

"I'm heading for the high place," Lyra said, "I’d better leave now if I want to get a good seat for your big debut. Look for me in the front row." Lyra gave Bon Bon a wink before walking into town. As Bon Bon watched her marefriend leave, she gave a wistful sigh before finishing her meal.

Lyra's stomach growled as she trudged through the open markets of Sodom. Merchants bartered and squabbled over the price of obscene novelties. As Lyra passed by the humans selling their wares, she noticed several other ponies on her trip. Some were tied to hitching posts, while others were pulling wagons. The Earth ponies who had difficulties carrying out their tasks were subsequently whipped by their owners. Lyra felt sorry for the domesticated ponies, and reflected on the relationship she had with Bon Bon.

"I'll show Bon Bon that we can provide for each other," Lyra muttered under her breath, "She'll be free soon enough."

All the humans around her were bustling with excitement in anticipation of tonight's festivities. Baal's Balls Ball was on everyone's lips, with one notable exception.

In the midst of the market, an old man stood on a box. He was bald on top, but had long, silvery white hair and a flowing beard. He carried a shepherds' crook and spoke as one having divine authority. The man was speaking urgently to anyone who’d listen. Many people chose to ignore him, but the few Sodomites who gathered around were openly mocking him.

"Repent!" the man shouted over the jeering crowd, "Repent, ye wicked and perverse generation! For the Lord has said He will surely destroy man from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air!"

"What a nut," Lyra thought. Beside the ranting man was a small white rabbit in a little red vest who was running around, while attempting to hand out flyers to people. The papers described how Baal was a false god and that salvation could only come by worshiping the Lord. The sheets of parchment were larger than the bunny who carried them. One strong breeze would be enough to send the rabbit and his papers flying away.

The Sodomites ignored the jumping rabbit as they passed him on the street. After it had become apparent that no one was interested in reading his message of salvation, the rabbit angrily threw the flyers on the ground and stood there scowling while folding his little arms.

When the bunny saw Lyra walking down the road, his face lit up. He hopped over excitedly and stopped in front of her. Lyra watched as he reached into his vest pocket and produced a business card. She was surprised to see the rabbit, but that didn't stop her from levitating his card and reading it aloud.

"Angel Bunny," Lyra said, reading from the card, "Assistant to the Prophet Noah." Lyra looked over at the old, bearded man ranting about a flood, while a small group of Sodomites heckled him.

“Repent of your sins and be baptized in the name of the Son of God, who shall surely come in the meridian of time,” Noah said, “If ye do not this, then the whole Earth will be baptized; yea, even by water!”

"Funny," Lyra said, turning back to look at Angel, "I didn't know deranged people needed assistants. He seems to be capable of acting crazy just fine by himself." Angel furrowed his brow at her blatant disrespect. He was tempted to just let Lyra go, but time was running short, and Angel feared that this might be his last chance to make contact with a unicorn before it was too late.

He pulled out of his vest pocket an impossibly long piece of parchment and showed it to Lyra. It was a list with every species of animal on earth. Virtually every box had a check mark beside it, with one exception near the bottom.

"Unicorns?" Lyra said as Angel pointed to her genus on the list, "What do you need with unicorns?"

Angel then proceeded to do a pantomime. He arched his right hand like a huge wave of water and smashed it on top of his left hand, which was clenched in a fist. He then wiggled his fingers while raising his arms to indicate that water was rising.

"You want to save me from a flood that will wipe out all life on earth?" Lyra said, dubiously. Angel nodded excitedly. He then made an O-shaped hole with his left hand and repeatedly inserted the index finger of his right hand into the hole to simulate coitus.

"And you want me to bring along a unicorn stallion so we can preserve our species?" Lyra said, with mild disgust. Angel nodded his head eagerly. Lyra leaned close and stared at him.

"You're just as crazy as the old man," Lyra said, “Besides, I don't swing that way. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a festival to attend.” Lyra put Angel's business card behind her left ear and continued on her way to the high places. When she was several paces away, Angel flipped Lyra the bird before crossing unicorns off the list. He then gathered his flyers and returned to Noah. Having made their final petition for repentance, the Prophet and his assistant somberly left Sodom and returned to the ark to await the Great Flood.

Lyra was far from the market as she continued east on her trek towards the high place. The old man and the rabbit were still on her mind. She looked back down on the city of Sodom. The sun was slowly setting in the west. From the high elevation, Lyra could make out the tops of the buildings. Beyond the borders of Sodom, an enormous boat had been built in the wilderness. It looked comically out of place amidst the vast expanse of desert.

"What fools," Lyra thought, "It's been years since this land received a decent rain, let alone a flood." As Lyra continued her walk towards the high place, she didn’t notice the thin, wispy clouds that began to swirl around in the evening sky.

As she drew nearer to the festival grounds, Lyra could hear the sounds of joyful music echoing throughout the hills. When she arrived at the mountainous pass, Lyra ducked behind a bush to avoid being seen by the two human guards.

"Now, time to orchestrate a plan to get me in there," Lyra thought, "with no strings attached." Lyra cast a spell which produced golden-colored musical notes that fluttered in the air like butterflies. These served as a momentary sparkly distraction for the guards, who abandoned their post to chase after the pretty music. When the pass was left unguarded, Lyra whistled happily to herself as she trotted around the barricade. From there, it was only a short distance to the Baal's Balls Ball.

As she walked amongst the humans at the festival, Lyra could feel the warmth of a large fire in the distance. Sodomites in strange costumes were dancing perversely around the fire, singing praises to Baal. Off to the side, other humans were running around a maypole with colorful ribbons tied around their waists. Lyra didn't know who Baal was, or why these humans found him so fascinating. All she knew for certain was that the Baal worshipers certainly knew how to party.

The weather became more severe with the setting of the sun. The sky grew dark as lightning crackled throughout an enormous storm cloud. The sounds of thunder rumbled throughout the mountain pass. The Sodomites cheered, as they viewed the tumultuous thunderstorm as acclamation from their god.

"Baal is pleased!" a man shouted, "Bring out the pony!" Lyra looked up expectantly, hoping to catch a glimpse of Bon Bon. Four strong men were carrying an earth pony on a portable couch, known as a lectica. At first Lyra thought it was Bon Bon, but as the men set the lectica down beside the fire, Lyra could see that it was another mare.

"Bon Bon must still be on her way here," Lyra thought anxiously.

The pony laying on the lectica was a magenta-maned pony with a faded pink coat and a perpetually flushed face. A crown of laurels had been placed upon her head. She seemed to have gotten a little too into the festivities, as she was already slobbering drunk.

"More wine!" the pony shouted, "Bring me (hic) more wine!" The humans were incapable of comprehending the mare's speech. It wasn't just because she was drunk and slurring her words. Ponies weren't capable of communicating with humans; so to the Sodomites, the words she made sounded like gluttonous neighs and drunken whinnies. In spite of her obvious inebriation and inability to converse in human speech, the Sodomites seemed to know exactly what she wanted. Scantily-dressed women were fanning the mare with palm fronds while other women eagerly poured more wine down the pony's throat. They worshiped the mare like a goddess and showered her body with kisses. Lyra stared at the wanton hedonism on display as excess wine dribbled down the pony's coat.

The crowd erupted with applause as a human clothed in expensive robes emerged from a tent and made his way towards the mare. Those who had been pleasuring the pony bowed reverently as the robed man approached the fire. Lyra didn't know what to expect. The women who had been fanning the mare turned around and began fanning the flames. The stoked fire illuminated the robed man’s face. Lyra's eyes grew wide when she saw him produce a golden dagger, which he held over the inebriated mare. Lyra stood transfixed as those in the crowd started to chant.

"Blood for Baal! Blood for Baal! Blood for Baal!" the humans shouted in unison.

"Blood for Baal!" the drunken mare chanted obliviously, "Blood for (burp) Baal!" After raising his golden weapon high over the animal sacrifice, the priest of Baal plunged the dagger into the mare's chest. She screamed as hot blood washed over her wine-stained coat. Lyra’s face went pale as the mare was slaughtered right in front of her eyes. It suddenly dawned on her that Bon Bon was in serious trouble.

"That's not a bonfire," Lyra thought, "That's a Bon Bon fire! I've got to warn her!" Turning around quickly, Lyra ran through the crowd towards the entrance as fast as her hooves would carry her. No one paid any attention to the wild unicorn as she ran through the festival. The Sodomites were too busy dancing licentiously as a fresh burnt offering for Baal was added to the fire.

In a rare stroke of luck, Lyra found Bon Bon tied to a tree just outside the entrance to the high place. She was wearing her harness attached to the cart full of olive oil, but her owner was missing.

"Bon Bon!" Lyra said breathlessly, "Thank goodness you're alright." It was only then that Lyra noticed the laurels atop Bon Bon’s head, which were identical to the crown worn by the drunken mare. Lyra looked around nervously when she realized that they were alone.

"Where's your human?" Lyra asked, "And where are the guards, for that matter?"

"Over there," Bon Bon said, gesturing towards the bushes. Lyra looked over towards the rustling bushes. She could tell by the sounds emanating from the other side that Two Legs was in the middle of a heated negotiation. It sounded like the two guards were giving him the business.

"Apparently, his previous payment only secured him space for a booth,” Bon Bon said, “The guards are demanding another bribe before he's allowed to bring his merchandise into the festival."

Lyra saw the leaves rustle ominously, as though the humans would finish their business negotiations at any moment. Lyra knew that if she wanted to save Bon Bon, they would have to act while the guards were busy hammering out a deal with Two Legs.

"Do you want to live?" Lyra asked. The question came as a shock to Bon Bon, but was easy enough to answer.

"...Yes," Bon Bon said, warily.

"Then come with me," Lyra said, "It’s not safe. We've got to go. Now." Bon Bon took a cautious step backward.

"Why?" Bon Bon said, worried.

"There's no time to explain," Lyra said, urgently, "All I know is, our lives are in danger and we need to find a good place to hide."

It was dark as Lyra and Bon Bon ran through the deserted marketplace. All of the shops were closed so the merchants could sell their products at the festival. Torches on either side of the road partially illuminated the market. Thick, black clouds rumbled with thunder as bolts of lightning crisscrossed throughout the sky. Lyra had just finished relaying everything that had happened at the festival to Bon Bon. Her face grew pale as she listened to the grisly fate of the drunken mare.

"And then they killed her?!" Bon Bon said horrified.

"There was nothing I could've done," Lyra said, "I'm just glad that we found each other before you became the next sacrifice to Baal." Bon Bon felt as though she was going to be sick. The human who had fed her and raised her from a foal had been willing to offer her as an animal sacrifice. As far as she was concerned, there was no bigger betrayal.

"So, what do we do now?" Bon Bon asked, panicking, "We can't stay in Sodom when we're surrounded by bloodthirsty humans!” Lyra was desperately trying to think of a solution. As the two of them ran through the streets, it slowly dawned on Bon Bon that the simple life she knew was over.

“I can't go back home!” Bon Bon said, hysterically, “I don’t want to be a burnt offering!" Even though the streets appeared deserted, Lyra was worried that Bon Bon’s hysteria might potentially invite unwanted company. Lyra led Bon Bon into an alley where they could stop and think. Bon Bon removed the crown of laurels from her head and threw it on the ground, before stomping it flat. Unable to hold her emotions back any longer, Bon Bon began to cry. Lyra slowly approached her marefriend and sat beside her. Ever since she met Bon Bon, Lyra had been held back by the fence which separated them. All previous attempts at intimacy had been awkward and cumbersome. Without a fence to stop her, Lyra was able to wrap her hooves around Bon Bon and hold her close. Bon Bon gasped as she felt herself become enveloped by Lyra’s tender embrace. Lyra nuzzled Bon Bon’s neck and tried to comfort her.

“You’re not alone,” Lyra said, “I’ll never leave you. It’s going to be alright.” A lump formed in Bon Bon’s throat as she felt her marefriend’s warm breath on her neck.

“I love you, Lyra,” Bon Bon said.

“I love you, too,” Lyra replied. Bon Bon turned her head and stared into Lyra’s eyes. It was dark, but a flash of lightning briefly illuminated their faces. It slowly dawned on the two lovers that, for the first time, nothing stood between their love. No fence. No owners. Nothing remained except their mutual affection, which burned brighter than ever before. Overcome with desire, Lyra and Bon Bon leaned in for a kiss. After breaking their overly-long osculation, Bon Bon wiped away her tears. There would be time to grieve later. As for now, Bon Bon was determined to put on a brave face for Lyra.

"I suppose we should look for someplace to hide," Bon Bon said, “Where's the last place people would think to look for a pair of lesbian ponies?” Lyra's eyes lit up as lightning illuminated the dark sky.

"I have an idea," Lyra said, "There's at least one human left on earth who's concerned about preserving animal life, and I say we take advantage of his generosity." Lyra levitated Angel's business card out from behind her ear and looked at it. Flipping the card over, she read the back of it to Bon Bon.

"Tired of the everyday routine?" Lyra said as she read from the card, "Ever dream of a life of romantic adventure? Want to get away from it all? We offer you escape! This card is valid for a forty day and forty night pleasure cruise for two aboard Noah's Ark. Free food. Romantic setting. Offer good for one male and one female of the same species."

"It sounds wonderful," Bon Bon said, "There's only one problem. Neither one of us is a stallion." Lyra gave a devious smile.

A short time later, the deception was complete. With a little ingenuity, Lyra had managed to disguise her marefriend as a unicorn stallion. Bon Bon looked into a rain barrel so she could see her reflection.

"There you go," Lyra said, "You're own mother wouldn't even recognize you now."

"I should hope not," Bon Bon said, blushing, "I look ridiculous."

Bon Bon's mane had been cut short and styled to look like a stallion's. She ran her forehoof along the length of a cream-colored shaft that was strapped to her forehead. The color blended nicely with her coat.

"It certainly was convenient that you found this fake unicorn horn behind the counter of that novelty shop," Bon Bon said.

"Yeah..." Lyra said, while making a bad poker face, "A fake unicorn horn. Let's go with that." Bon Bon used her tail to cover her gender-specific parts. To the casual observer, Bon Bon looked just like a unicorn stallion.

With her disguise now in place, Lyra and Bon Bon made it out of Sodom. Above their heads, the sky was black as pitch. As they climbed up a hill, the loud sounds of thunder caused the ground beneath them to quake and tremble. When they reached the crest of the hill, a human-sized figure was standing in front of them, which caused the two mares to jump in surprise. Lyra illuminated her horn in a threatening manner, just in case the stranger was hostile. When she cast her light on the figure, Lyra saw that it wasn't a human. It was just a block of salt carved to look like a woman.

"How very odd," Bon Bon said, "Why would humans leave such a bizarre sculpture just standing around facing the city?"

"I don't know," Lyra said as she broke off the hands of the statue with her magic, "All I know is, I could go for a snack. Salt lick?" Lyra levitated one of the salt hands over to Bon Bon, who started sucking on the fingers. Lyra licked the palm of the other hand as the two mares continued moving towards Noah’s Ark.

Author's Note

To the mods: I promise, scout's honor, that I will keep the humor of this fic Teen-rated. I now have a much better grasp of what's appropriate than when I first started writing.

To the readers: Please forgive the creative license taken with the source material.

Cruisin' for Confusion

The mighty ark rested proudly atop a hill. Large torches illuminated the boat’s perimeter. The vessel was constructed from gopher wood and measured four-hundred and fifty feet long, seventy-five feet wide and forty-five feet high. It was taller than a three story building. As Lyra and Bon Bon approached the ark, their mouths hung open in amazement.

“It’s beautiful,” Bon Bon said. A line of animals stood patiently as they waited to board the ark. Two by two; male and female. Lyra and Bon Bon stood behind a zebra couple, who were waiting their turn.

"Remember," Lyra said, "When it's our turn to board, just act like everything's natural. If we can fool Noah, you and I will have free food for the next forty days."

"And a warm bed to sleep in." Bon Bon added, excitedly. She closed her eyes and nuzzled Lyra’s neck.

"And a warm mare to sleep with," Lyra said. Bon Bon’s eyes shot open. She looked around cautiously and tried to act masculine.

"You mean stallion, right honey?" Bon Bon asked in a gruff voice. Lyra covered her mouth with her forehoof; realizing her faux pas.

"Of course," Lyra said, blushing. Feeling the need to overcompensate, Lyra wanted everyone to know how heterosexual she was.

"Yes, my husband, whom I am madly in love with," Lyra said loudly, "I can't wait to get on that ark and start making babies with you!" The zebra couple turned their heads around and stared awkwardly at Lyra. They both raised an eyebrow. Bon Bon blushed while Lyra had a huge, embarrassed grin.

"You’ll have to excuse my virgin bride’s eagerness," Bon Bon said, as she lovingly rubbed Lyra’s flank, "She's never known a stallion before." The zebras seemed convinced and resumed facing forward. The male zebra turned his head back towards Bon Bon for a moment and gave her a congratulatory sly wink. Bon Bon grimaced and returned his gesture with an embarrassed shrug. When no one was looking at them, Lyra and Bon Bon breathed a sigh of relief.

“So, I’m the virgin, huh?” Lyra whispered snarkily to Bon Bon, “That’s a laugh, considering all the things I’ve taught you.” Bon Bon’s face became beet red. The sky flashed with lightning as loud, thunderous rumblings were heard throughout Sodom. Bon Bon glanced up at the sky, cautiously.

"So, Noah thinks the Earth will be flooded..." Bon Bon said, warily.

"Don't worry," Lyra said, "There's no chance of that actually happening." She made sure to whisper quietly enough so that the zebras in front of them didn't hear.

"But won't Noah look silly with a boat filled with animals if there's no flood?" Bon Bon asked.

"He may decide to kick us out before the forty days are up, but I doubt it," Lyra said, "These religious types will usually say anything to avoid looking foolish. Noah will probably continue as planned for the full forty days, even without a flood."

"But won't the people question why the Earth wasn't flooded?" Bon Bon asked.

"Noah will probably just talk his way out of it," Lyra said, "He'll tell everyone that it wasn't meant to be a physical flood, but a spiritual flood of sin, or some BS like that."

"Religion is confusing," Bon Bon said. The parade of animals advanced quickly until it was nearly Lyra and Bon Bon’s turn. The male zebra rendered his ticket unto Noah, who welcomed the couple aboard the ark. One of Noah’s sons led the zebras to their holding pen. When Noah turned back around, he saw one last pair of animals waiting to board.

Lyra and Bon Bon stood at the ark entrance, smiling. They were met at the door by Angel and Noah. The prophet was holding onto his shepherd’s crook. A small lantern was dangling from the end of it.

Angel had a large quill in his hand and was finalizing his last minute checklist. When Angel noticed Lyra, he was shocked to see her again. Lyra levitated Angel’s business card over to Noah, who examined it before glancing down at his assistant.

"Good work, Angel Bunny," Noah said, "I was afraid that the unicorns would not survive the flood."

Angel blinked in disbelief and looked up at Noah trepidatiously. He cautiously put a checkmark in the unicorn box, even though the category was still crossed out. Angel slowly glanced up from his checklist and squinted suspiciously at Lyra.

“Welcome aboard the ark,” Noah said as he gestured for the couple to enter, “This is a sacred vessel; watched over and protected by the hand of Almighty God.” Lyra and Bon Bon bowed reverently as they walked past Noah and into the ark.

"Now that the last of the animals are on board, I'll seal up the entrance," Noah said, "Angel, please escort our unicorn friends to their living quarters."

Angel continued to stare suspiciously at Lyra. Bon Bon felt self conscience and made sure to thoroughly conceal her gender-specific parts with her tail. Lyra and Bon Bon followed Angel as he led them deeper into the bowels of the ark. There were three floors of small pens. Each one was housed with a different species of animal. They passed by pens with green alligators and long-necked geese, some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees, some cats and rats and elephants; all of them in pairs. There were also pens for the lions, tigers and bears.

“Oh my,” Bon Bon said, as she smelled the overwhelming aroma of their excrement. With more than sixteen thousand animals on board, they produced twelve tons of waste every day. To solve the problem of crap collection, the floors of the pens were slatted, allowing the animals’ waste to fall through the narrow openings onto a platform designed for disposing of fecal matter.

The wooden aqueducts which supplied the animals with fresh water had an additional purpose. A secondary channel which ran parallel to their water chute went below the pens and was used to wash away the animals’ excrement. The wet fecal matter flowed with the bilge water towards the stern of the ship, where Noah had created a bilge pump out of tanned sheep bladders, which would safely flush all collected animal waste overboard.

Angel led Lyra and Bon Bon up a flight of stairs to the second level. They walked past one of Noah’s sons, who was helping the zebras into their pen. A series of mirrors reflected light throughout the vessel. The source of the illumination came from a contained fire within Noah’s living quarters located in the top center of the ark. Smoke traveled outside through a metal funnel. The ark was a marvel of modern engineering, the likes of which had yet to be seen anywhere else in the known world.

After traveling a bit further, Angel stopped in front of an empty pen. A sign above said “unicorns.” He gestured for Lyra and Bon Bon to enter. Once they had complied, Angel kicked a wedge that propped the door up. With the wedge removed, the door slid down, trapping Lyra and Bon Bon inside. Angel nodded satisfactorily before hopping off to find Noah. Lyra and Bon Bon looked around their new living quarters. There was a thin layer of straw to serve as their bed. In the far corner of their pen were two troughs suspended to the wall. One was for food and the other was for water.

The edges of the ark’s interior were used to hold the animals’ food supply. During prescribed feeding times, Noah pulled a rope which connected to the manna storage. Sufficient rations would be dispersed for all the animals. It wasn’t very filling or flavorful, but it would keep them alive for the duration of the voyage. Bon Bon was having second thoughts about this whole cruise thing. She thought about her old life in the olive orchard. Now, instead of a warm summer breeze, Bon Bon’s nose was filled with stuffy, stale air and the overwhelming stench of animal waste. She had no space to walk around. The familiar comforts of home were calling to her.

"I had more room in my pen," Bon Bon said, petulantly, “I wanna go back home.” Lyra did a double take and stared at Bon Bon.

"You were also about to be sacrificed to a pagan god, remember?" Lyra said, "We need a place to hide for a while, so let's try to stay positive, alright?"

"I'm sorry," Bon Bon said, "You're right. At least here we can be together." Bon Bon nuzzled Lyra's neck.

"Exactly," Lyra said. The two mares then kissed each other longingly, until their love was interrupted by an abrasive voice.

"It's good to know there's at least one pair of God-fearing unicorns left in the world," the stallion said, "I was beginning to think your species would die out along with all the Sodomaniacs." Lyra and Bon Bon broke their kiss and stared at the stallion in the pen to their right. He and his mare were the two earth ponies aboard the ark. The reflected light of the fire was dim, but Lyra and Bon Bon could still see their neighbors.

The stallion had a sea-blue coat. His thick mane was the color of seaweed and his cutie mark depicted three ovals that formed six points around a small apple. It looked like the symbol for an atom.

The mare had a white coat with a neon-yellow mane. Her cutie mark consisted of three golden hearts forming a 'Y' shape. The tips of the hearts were facing each other, with a golden apple in the center. All the images of her cutie mark had a black outline around them. It looked vaguely like the symbol for nuclear energy.

“My name’s Adamic Faith,” the stallion said, “but you can call me Adam. This is my mate, Evangelical Hope. I call her Eve, for short.” Eve bowed respectfully.

“So, what are your names?” Eve asked. Lyra and Bon Bon knew that if they wanted to survive this trip, they’d have to avoid raising suspicion. In an effort to make peace with their neighbors, the two marefriends tried to be as cordial as possible.

“Well, my name’s Lyra,” Lyra said.

“And I’m her husband, Bon Bon,” Bon Bon said.

“Bon Bon?” Eve said, smirking, “Isn’t that a strange name for a stallion?” Bon Bon blushed. It suddenly dawned on her that her real name made for a poor alias.

“Oh it’s, um, short for... Steve,” Bon Bon said, as she lowered her voice to sound more masculine.

“Steve?” Eve asked, skeptically.

“Yes,” Bon Bon said, emphatically. She shuffled her feet nervously as Eve raised an eyebrow.

“Well,... Steve, erstwhile known as Bon Bon,” Eve said, “Please allow me to welcome you aboard the ark.” Adam and Eve bowed respectfully. Lyra and Bon Bon exchange nervous glances.

“What were you saying before about the flood?” Lyra asked, indignantly, “What does that have to do with being a Sodomite?”

“It’s a well-known fact that God hates Sodomites,” Adam said, “Any nation which tolerates or promotes homosexuality will eventually be destroyed by God’s wrath.” Lyra bit her lip. She wanted to curse out Adam, but she held her tongue.

“First the Baal worshipers commit murder in their god’s name,” Lyra thought, “and now these zealots use their religion to justify bigotry.” Bon Bon could sense Lyra’s anger rising, so she tried to keep the peace by finding some common ground with their neighbors.

“I’ll admit that the Sodomites are wicked,” Bon Bon said, reflecting on their animal sacrifices, “but isn’t it more likely that God would be upset by their raping, stealing and murder?”

“Well Steve,” Adam said, “while those are grievous sins to be sure, we can’t discount the role homosexuality played in God’s decision to flood the Earth.”

“If anything, homosexuality is worse than murder,” Eve said, “Most murderers know what they’re doing is wicked, but homosexuals will try to convince everyone that their sinful behavior is normal; which it isn’t. Sodomy is a perversion of God’s grand design.”

Bon Bon felt as though she was going to be sick. Having been born and raised in Sodom, it had never occurred to her that someone might be opposed to same gender attraction. Such relationships were commonplace in Sodom. Their society had evolved to the point where no sexual persuasion was considered taboo. To now find herself on a boat filled with rabid homophobes, Bon Bon was in fear of her life. She realized that if these religious zealots discovered that she was a lesbian, there’s no telling what they might do to her.

“To better understand what we’re dealing with, I’ll pose a riddle,” Adam said, “What’s common amongst all living things?” Lyra and Bon Bon didn’t answer, so Adam divulged the solution.

“All living things reproduce after their own kind,” Adam said, “Mares beget foals. Trees beget seeds and so forth. Homosexual couples can’t propagate their seed; therefore, they shouldn’t be considered living things. Those who lust after their own gender are nothing but genealogical dead ends who spread disease like a fornicating plague. “ Lyra and Bon Bon winced. They didn’t feel disease-ridden.

“The fate of the Sodomites was sealed when they subjected their bodies to unnatural acts, which angered the Lord,” Eve said, “That’s why the Earth is being flooded.”

“You would think the Creator of the universe would have more pressing concerns than what the Sodomites do in their bedrooms.” Lyra said, impertinently.

“It just helps to illustrate the strictness of God’s commands,” Adam said, “He would rather see the entire Earth flooded before He allowed the Sodomites to corrupt His perfect world with their unfettered sexual depravity.”

“Once the world is purged and made clean, we’ll never have to look at the Sodomites' blasphemies ever again,” Eve said, hopefully, “Sing hosannas to the Lord! Praised be His name!” Bon Bon looked ill. Adam was so enthralled by the sound of his own voice that he didn't notice Lyra’s scowling face.

“Fear God and keep His commandments,” Adam said, “or be subject to desolation, darkness and destruction.” At that moment, the very Earth began to shake. The blaze in the fire pit was extinguished, which plunged the whole ark into darkness. The great ship was filled with commotion as all the animals murmured excitedly.

“What’s happening?” Bon Bon asked as she tried to find Lyra in the darkness.

“Divine intervention,” Lyra muttered quietly to Bon Bon, “Now let’s get out of this insane asylum while we still have a chance.” Using her unicorn magic, Lyra undid the clasp which held their pen door shut and lifted it with her horn. Adam and Eve were too busy singing hymns and praising God to notice Lyra and Bon Bon running out of their holding pen in search of an exit.

“It was a mistake to come here,” Lyra said, “We just traded one group of religious zealots for another.”

“I’d rather take my chances with the Sodomites,” Bon Bon said. Lyra’s illuminated unicorn horn dimly-lit their path as the two marefriends ran past all the other animals. Bears, tigers, lions, elephants, rats, cats, chimpanzees, camels, geese and alligators. There was great confusion as the various passengers growled until the howling of the winds outside was rivaled by the dull roar of voices within the ark. Many were shouting excitedly about the coming of the Great Flood.

“They’re insane if they believe that old crackpot’s fables about a flood,” Lyra said as they ran, “I just came because he was giving away free food.”

“The storm outside sounds pretty bad,” Bon Bon said, “What if Noah’s right?”

“The chance of a planet-wide flood is about as likely as our tribbing ending with conception,” Lyra replied with confidence, “It’s inconceivable.” The door which they had used to board the ark was sealed shut. Lyra looked over to some nearby stairs, which led to the higher levels.

“I see some light above us!” Lyra said, “It looks like a way out. Follow me.” Lyra led Bon Bon up a flight of stairs and past the contained fire pit. It’s flame had been extinguished due to the gale force winds.

When Lyra and Bon Bon stepped out onto the deck, it was pouring rain. The winds were so fierce that it caused the precipitation to pelt their coats with terrific force. Thunder crashed overhead as lightning streaked across the sky. Noah stood to the left of the ship’s bow as he surveyed the city of Sodom. All the buildings were on fire. Lyra and Bon Bon stared in horror as the anguished lamentations of the Sodomites filled their ears. A great, tumultuous noise emanated from below the city as an enormous earthquake shook the foundations of the buildings.

“This can’t be happening!” Lyra said, aghast. Up until this point, Lyra had just assumed that Noah was an eccentric old man. A new, horrifying thought slowly began to dawn on her.

“Was Noah right?” Lyra thought. Lyra and Bon Bon stared in shock as a huge wall of water rose above the tops of the mountains before bearing down on the city of Sodom. The flood extinguished the fires, along with all life. The high place was washed clean of the residue of filth which had been left behind in the aftermath of the Baal’s Balls Ball.

Once the city of Sodom was completely submerged, the tidal wave began to move towards the ark at an alarming rate of speed. Noah took this as his cue to get inside. When he turned around, he noticed Lyra and Bon Bon standing on the deck. Their manes were soaked as the fierce winds whipped around them. As the wall of water bore down upon the ark, Lyra and Bon Bon were too petrified to move.

“What are you two doing up here?” Noah said, in disbelief, “Come on little ponies, this is no place for you!” With a swiftness which belied his advanced years, Noah ran over to Lyra and Bon Bon. Holding one of them under each arm, he ran back to the ark’s entrance. Once inside, Noah placed a thick board over the door to keep it closed. A watertight seal, which was made from actual seals, helped keep the flood out.

The ark was rocked as the enormous wave crashed against the side of the ship. The structure creaked and groaned as it was pushed off of its hilly foundation. The sounds of rushing waters could be heard all around the ark. Lyra and Bon Bon were still in a soaked state of shock as Noah carried them through the ship. He passed by the darkened pens, which were filled with green alligators and long-necked geese, some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees, some cats and rats and elephants; who all looked forlorn. Noah soon stopped at the pen of the unicorns.

As Noah set the two marefriends back in their pen, their eyes were wide as saucers as they stared into space. Lyra and Bon Bon’s bodies shivered as their wet manes clung to their coats. Water dripped from their drenched bodies as they tried to process the horrors they had seen. After sliding their door closed and locking it, Noah took extra precaution by tying a piece of rope around the latch. After giving a satisfied nod, Noah left to restoke the fires.

Lyra and Bon Bon stared out into the dark interior of their cramped pen. Everything they had ever known was gone. As far as they knew, they were the only survivors of Sodom and the last lesbians on Earth. Even though they still had each other, they had never felt more alone. A sense of dread consumed their thoughts as they drifted aimlessly aboard what they considered to be a floating psycho ward. Adam approached Lyra and Bon Bon’s pen to find out what exactly happened outside.

“I could hear the winds and the waves, but I never actually saw God’s wrath unleashed upon the wicked city,” Adam said, “Judging by the state of your coats and your soaked manes, it looks like you were right in the thick of things.” Lyra and Bon Bon remained silent, but Bon Bon managed to give a slow nod to confirm Adam’s suspicions.

“Were you able to see the city’s destruction?” Adam said, eagerly, “I’m so jealous; but not in a sinful, covetous way, mind you. It’s just that I would’ve loved to have seen the looks on the Sodomites faces as everything was taken from them.”

Unbeknownst to Adam, he was looking at exactly that. The pain of loss was reflected clearly in Lyra and Bon Bon’s eyes. The city where they had grown up was lost. All the pleasant locations from their youth were now buried beneath the waves. Bon Bon reflected on the olive orchard where Lyra first confessed her undying love. Lyra wistfully remembered the rolling hills which offered a pristine view of the marketplace. The back alleyways of Sodom’s famous glory hole grotto were now lost to the sea. Everything they had ever loved or cared about was gone; the one exception being each other. Lyra’s tongue felt as though it was made of lead. She spoke, not for Adam’s sake, but because vocalizing her thoughts helped her to reconcile the emotional trauma of Sodom’s destruction.

“The entire city was engulfed in flames,” Lyra said, distantly, “No one survived.” Lyra’s personal moment of silence to reverence the dead was interrupted by a gloating Adam.

“Ah, so God set fire to a city of flaming benders,” Adam said, smugly, “Truly the Lord doeth work in deliciously ironic ways.” Lyra and Bon Bon held each other close. They didn’t reply to any more of Adam’s inquiries. They didn’t say a word. They simply remained silent until exhaustion overcame them and they fell asleep.

Biblical Bromance

Meanwhile, on the first floor of the ark, Adam and Bon Bon were patrolling the various pens. They visited all the animals to make sure they were being taken care of. Bon Bon allowed Adam to lead the way, since she didn’t want to risk him getting a good view of her from behind.

If any of the animals’ pens were in need of repair, Bon Bon would make a note of it. She wrote everything down using a piece of lead on a large leaf. She held the writing implement in her mouth and stored the leaf in a saddlebag when not in use.

“The ocelots’ food door is stuck,” Bon Bon said as she reviewed her notes, “And the aqueduct above the aardvarks’ pen is leaking.” Adam nodded in approval.

“Once we’ve finished patrolling this floor, we’ll give our report to Angel,” Adam said, “He’ll ensure that the sons of Noah make the necessary repairs.” As Bon Bon put her notes away, Adam glanced at her suspiciously.

“Steve,” Adam said, “I’m curious as to why you don’t use magic to hold the marking tool. I thought unicorns used their horns for everything.”

Bon Bon felt her heart skip a beat. It had only now occurred to her that, as a unicorn, she might be actually expected to do some magic. Adam stared at her quizzically as she tried to come up with an excuse.

“Well,” Bon Bon said, thinking fast, “I choose to avoid using magic because I don’t want to be tempted by the Devil. Sorcery and spellcraft are tools Satan uses to steal souls.” Bon Bon tried to look confident as Adam stared her down. He scrutinized her expression, as though he questioned her sincerity. Bon Bon made an effort to keep her body language as neutral as possible, lest Adam see through her deception. She breathed a sigh of relief when Adam eventually nodded his head and smiled at her.

“You’re very wise, young Steve,” Adam said, “I was merely testing your faith. If more unicorns thought like you and shunned their magical abilities, Satan wouldn’t have power over their souls.” Bon Bon felt relieved for having passed Adam’s inquisition. She was banking on the fact that he would equate anything foreign to him as evil. In spite of securing herself in Adam’s good graces, Bon Bon also had some questions for him.

“I know that magic is evil,” Bon Bon said, trying to sound sincere, “but why would God give me a horn if He didn’t want me to use magic?”

“A valid question,” Adam said, “God, in His infinite wisdom, imbued all His creations with certain flaws that they must overcome in order to be sanctified. Many are tempted by sins of the flesh, while others sell their souls for wealth and power. God’s trial for the unicorn race was to see if they could resist the temptation to use magic. In all cases, these trials were meant to test self control and obedience to God’s commandments.”

“I see,” Bon Bon said. She was beginning to understand Adam’s theology a little better. Self-sacrifice, self-denial and conformity were all strong tenants of his faith. She also couldn’t help but wonder if his hatred for magic stemmed from the fact that he was an Earth pony. Bon Bon smiled as she imagined Adam as a child being teased by unicorns using their magic to suspend him in the air until he cried.

“Most unicorns were unable to resist the allure of spellcraft and lost their souls as a result,” Adam said, solemnly, “Why do you think it was so difficult for Noah to find a pair of your species for the ark? Nearly all the unicorns were already in league with the Devil.”

Bon Bon nodded her head in agreement, even though she thought Adam was a raving lunatic. She actually tensed up when Adam put his forehoof around her back and tousled her mane affectionately with his other forehoof.

“Fortunately, God was watching out for you, Steve,” Adam said, “He put you in Noah’s path so you and your mate could survive the flood to rebuild the unicorn population.” Bon Bon pushed Adam away from her and sat on the ground with her hind legs crossed, so as to obscure her gender-specific parts from view.

“Still as bashful as ever, I see,” Adam said as he grinned knowingly, “Just remember, Steve, those who keep God’s commandments are blessed. You’ve already proven your worth by shunning magic and placing your faith solely with God! We’ve been given an unspeakable gift! A second chance at life! We can show the Lord that we’re worthy of His favor by repopulating the earth and teaching our children to fear God and keep His commandments.”

Adam had expected Bon Bon to shed tears of joy and shout praises to the Lord for His infinite mercy, but she instead became quiet and contemplative. The whole concept of God testing His creations consumed her thoughts. After a moment of silence, Bon Bon turned her head sharply and stared at Adam.

“So, is that what homosexuality was for the Sodomites?” Bon Bon said, somberly, “Just a test? If they wanted to pass, all they had to do was resist their sexual desires to gain God’s blessing?”

Adam was taken aback by Bon Bon’s confrontational attitude. However, he was willing to look beyond her disrespectful tone in the interest of further enlightenment.

“That would imply that God created homosexual desires, which He didn’t” Adam said, “The Lord would never design something so ill-conceived and utterly wasteful as sodomy. Homosexual lusts are the works of Satan.”

“But I thought God created everything,” Bon Bon said, “even our desires.” Adam glared at Bon Bon. They both became silent as they listened to the creaking of the ark. Adam’s expression became grave to the point where Bon Bon began to feel frightened. His menacing countenance was partially illuminated by the reflective glow of the fire.

“You’re playing the Devil’s advocate, Steve, and that’s a very dangerous game,” Adam said, threateningly, “The Sodomites engaged in vile acts which mocked the sacred rite of procreation. God did not create them that way. They chose to reject the Lord’s commandment to multiply and replenish the Earth. When the floodwaters came, those unrepentant Sodomaniacs discovered the wages of sin.” Bon Bon realized that all attempts to shift any blame away from the Sodomites was a losing battle. Adam was visibly shaken by Bon Bon’s insinuation that God might be responsible for homosexuals.

“In any case,” Adam said, shaking off his discomfort, “it’s a moot point now that every homosexual drowned in the Great Flood. The land will never again be blighted by their abominations.”

The next half hour of their patrol was awkward for both parties. Adam and Bon Bon only spoke to one another when reporting on the status of a pen. As Adam noticed Bon Bon’s sullen countenance, he began to feel guilty for losing his temper.

“Please forgive me for snapping at you, Steve,” Adam said, humbly, “I often forget how brash and impressionable you are. I know you didn’t mean to blaspheme the Lord with your comments. You’re just an exceptionally inquisitive young stallion and there’s no sin in that.” Bon Bon tried to smile, but the things Adam said made her want to cry.

“I think we’ve wasted enough time speculating on those damned colt cuddlers, eh Steve?” Adam said, “What’s say we have a nice candid discussion about mares?”

“Oh, this ought to be rich,” Bon Bon thought. In spite of how much Adam angered her, Bon Bon was determined to try her hardest to be friends with him. Adam just wanted another stallion to talk to. All Bon Bon had to do was pretend to be his friend for now. After she got off the ark, she’d never have to listen to his bigoted ramblings again.

“I’d enjoy that very much,” Bon Bon said, lying through her teeth, “Please instruct me on how to better please my wife.”

“If you want your wife to have confidence in you, the first thing you must to do is assert your dominance over her,” Adam said, “Never let her forget who’s in charge. Remember, a wife should always be submissive to the will of her husband as he submits to the will of the Lord.”

“What?!” Bon Bon asked, irritably. Her threshold for disgust increased with every misogynistic word that came out of his mouth.

“It is improper for a wife to ever disagree with her husband,” Adam said, “For the sake of this example, let’s have you pretend to be my wife. Think you can act like a mare, Steve?”

“It’ll be a challenge,” Bon Bon said, sardonically.

“Alright Steve, pretend the sun is shining brightly overhead,” Adam said, as he glanced up at the reflected light of the fire, which illuminated the ark, “I, your husband, look up and say, ‘Good Lord! How bright and goodly shines the moon this day.’ As my wife, how would you respond?” Bon Bon looked at Adam incredulously.

“As a good wife, I would correct my husband to prevent him from appearing foolish,” Bon Bon said, smugly, “I would inform him that it was the sun, and not the moon, which shone so brightly overhead.”

“Ah, but it is never the wife’s place to correct her husband,” Adam said, “If he is wrong, then she must be wrong with him.” Adam took a step closer to Bon Bon.

“I emphasize again that it is the moon that shines so bright this day,” Adam said, as he leaned in closer to Bon Bon. Adam looked down on her as a way to further intimidate and exert dominance, but Bon Bon didn’t flinch. She narrowed her eyes and stuck to her convictions.

“And I know it is the sun, my husband,” Bon Bon said, stubbornly. Adam smiled at Bon Bon’s performance. He assumed she was just acting the part of an exceptionally difficult wife. Adam was eager to demonstrate further dominance; he just didn’t realize how genuine Bon Bon’s irritation was.

“As my wife, it is your duty before God to agree with me,” Adam said. His face was now a mere few inches from Bon Bon. She blushed from the uncomfortable closeness. Bon Bon could feel her defiance ebbing away. At this point, she would say or do anything Adam wanted to increase the distance between them. Bon Bon backed away and bowed before Adam.

“You may call it the moon, the sun or a candle,” Bon Bon said, as she acquiesced to Adam’s browbeating, “Whatever you choose, it will also be so with me.” Adam smiled as Bon Bon prostrated herself before him.

“Excellent performance,” Adam said, “You have the makings of a convincing thespian.”

“A what?!” Bon Bon said, horrified. She instinctively jumped up and covered herself with her tail. Once she landed on the ground, she pressed her hind legs together. Bon Bon thought she heard Adam say something which compromised her disguise. Adam couldn’t understand her anxiety.

“What?” Adam said, “All I said was ‘thespian.’ I just thought you’d make a convincing actor.”

“Oh,” Bon Bon said, relieved, “I thought you said I’d make a convincing lesbian.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Bon Bon would’ve done anything to take them back. Bon Bon’s eyes went wide as she covered her mouth with her forehooves. Her words hung in the air like an unpleasant aroma. She couldn’t believe she made such a critical error. Adam cocked his head and stared at her.

“Now why would you think I called you a lesbian, Steve?” Adam said. Beads of nervous sweat formed on her brow. The wheels in Bon Bon’s head were turning as she tried desperately to salvage her embarrassing gaffe.

“Uh, because I have something in common with lesbians?” Bon Bon said, as she tried to keep her voice calm.

“Oh?” Adam asked, cautiously, “and what’s that?”

“We both love having sex with mares,” Bon Bon said with a sly wink. Adam gave a hearty laugh.

“I suppose you’re right, Steve,” Adam said, “I guess that makes us both lesbians!”

“Yeah,” Bon Bon said, laughing awkwardly, “You and I... A naughty pair of filly foolers.”

Adam led the way as they continued inspecting the rest of the pens on the first floor. As they walked, Adam continued to impart pearls of wisdom to Bon Bon; much to her resentment.

“An interesting fact about mare anatomy,” Adam said, ”did you know the word “vagina” actually means sheath?”

“Can’t say that I did,” Bon Bon said, dispassionately, “Please, tell me more.” Adam’s obliviousness to blatant insincerity had become a running theme by this point; so it was no surprise when he took her apathetic acquisitiveness at face value.

“You wouldn’t put two sheaths together by themselves, would you?” Adam said, as he marveled at the habits of lesbians, “An empty scabbard is worthless. A sheath only fills the measure of its creation when a sword is inside it. It’s no different with mares.” Bon Bon bit her tongue as she stared daggers at Adam.

“Males and females were intelligently designed to be together,” Adam said, as though it were the simplest concept in the world, “It’s astounding to me that the Sodomites remained blind to their own folly for so long. Couldn’t they see that their bodies weren’t compatible? What’s the point of intimately knowing your lover if not to bring children into the world?” Bon Bon was finding it increasingly difficult to hold her tongue. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out an accusatory question.

“What about having sex for pleasure?” Bon Bon asked. Adam was momentarily stymied by her outburst. He was a stallion of faith, but he also possessed a sex drive, which he was often at odds with. He took a deep breath and pensively exhaled before continuing.

“Well Steve, I suppose those who were unlearned in the Gospel could fornicate merely for carnal pleasure,” Adam said, “but once they better understood God’s Grand Design, they would come to realize that procreation is a sacred gift which should only be utilized between a husband and wife for the purpose of propagating their species. When acts of intimacy are experienced by those who aren’t married to each other, it goes against God’s will. The Sodomites were destroyed because God could no longer tolerate their unnatural fornication.”

“Do you think all the Sodomites deserved death?” Bon Bon asked, soberly. When Adam paused for a moment, Bon Bon was taken aback. She had expected Adam to denounce and vilify all homosexuals. Instead, it looked as though he was doing some serious deliberation before he answered.

“As a God-fearing pony, I’m expected to exhibit blind faith,” Adam said, “My devotion to the Lord is unwavering, but there are times when even I find his judgements extreme.” Bon Bon was stunned by Adam’s candid honesty. For a moment, she wondered if there was more depth to his character.

“I don’t want you to think I have naught but contempt for all Sodomites,” Adam said.

“Well, you were certainly giving off that impression earlier,” Bon Bon said, churlishly.

“As God as my witness, I feel pity for the lesbians,” Adam said.

“Oh?” Bon Bon said, bemused, “and why do you only feel pity for the filly foolers and not the colt cuddlers?”

“With the females of Sodom, it’s not their fault they all became disgusting tribbers,” Adam said, “I imagine that at one time they were delightsome and beautiful.”

“Before they became lesbians?” Bon Bon said in an irritated tone.

“Yes,” Adam said, “The fault really lies at the hooves of the stallions who were flighty in the fetlocks. Satan filled their minds with unclean thoughts, which caused them to abandon the natural use of their mares. The silly sods were consumed with lust for their own gender.”

“So why wouldn’t the mares share equal blame, then?” Bon Bon asked. As maddening as it was, she was determined to at least attempt to understand Adam’s logic.

“The mares couldn’t help it,” Adam said, “Without a husband to guide them through life, they were like ships without a rudder in a sea of temptation. In moments of weakness, the mares turned to each other for companionship.”

“Tragic,” Bon Bon said, apathetically.

“Almost makes me wish I had been there when I was still a bachelor,” Adam said, “My lover’s touch would’ve cured the Sodomite mares of their lesbianism.” For the first time since they started their discussion, Bon Bon felt the need to stifle her laughter.

“How selfless of you,” Bon Bon said, sarcastically, “Not every stallion would be willing to cure all those lesbians with sexual healing. I have to ask though, wouldn't such rampant promiscuity incur the wrath of God?”

“I have faith that the Lord would’ve forgiven my fornications,” Adam said assuredly, “After all, I would've been doing more than filling the measure of their creation; I’d also be saving their souls.”

“Saving their souls, while savoring their holes,” Bon Bon said, contemptuously, “Adam, you are positively primeval.”

“Why thank you, Steve,” Adam said, nonchalantly, “I’ve worked hard to become so. Stick with me and I’ll teach you everything I know.”

“Oh goody,” Bon Bon said, bitterly.

As the hours wore on, Adam and Bon Bon inspected each animal pen, while conversing with each other at length about life, love and salvation. While Bon Bon found Adam to be insufferable most of the time, he did have brief moments of likeability.

“Do you know why the Sodomites reviled Noah?” Adam asked.

“Because he told them to repent?” Bon Bon replied.

“They hated him because of his certainty,” Adam said, “Those who live without faith are often intimidated by those who believe in God; but this is nothing new. The wicked have always taken the truth to be hard.” Bon Bon believed in God, but not in the same way Adam did. She refused to believe she’d be condemned for following her heart, in spite of Adam’s insistence to the contrary. While Bon Bon disagreed with him on many issues, she was somewhat impressed by the strength of Adam’s convictions.

“I’m not as firm in the faith as you,” Bon Bon said, “How can you be so sure about everything?” Adam answered the question with a question that caught Bon Bon off guard.

“Do you love, Lyra?” Adam asked.

“What?” Bon Bon asked. She’d never vocally declared her love for Lyra to anyone before, other than Lyra, of course.

“Your wife Lyra,” Adam repeated, “Do you love her?” Adam’s face grew soft and kind as he looked tenderly at Bon Bon. He saw in her eyes the promise of hope and young love. Bon Bon felt a warm glow permeate her body as she expressed the innermost feelings of her heart.

“Oh yes,” Bon Bon said, “I love Lyra with all my soul.”

“That’s never going to change, is it?” Adam asked, knowingly.

“No,” Bon Bon said. She smiled sweetly as pleasant memories filled her mind. Her defenses, which she had so carefully guarded, were now being lowered in order to express her love.

“Nothing could ever cause your devotion to waver, could it?” Adam asked.

“Never,” Bon Bon said. As Adam spoke tenderly about Lyra and Bon Bon’s relationship, Bon Bon felt a lump form in her throat. For a brief moment, it was as though she had found acceptance aboard the ark. Her relationship with another mare was being lauded by a stallion who would condemn them both if he knew the truth. Bon Bon realized that as long as her real identity remained a secret, she could freely express her love for Lyra.

“You’re certain that you’ll always treasure each other,” Adam said, “Your relationship is built on mutual love. It’s no different with one’s faith. My belief in God is as certain as your love for Lyra.” When Adam had Bon Bon’s full attention, he bore his testimony.

“I love the Lord,” Adam said, “My soul delights in the words of His prophets. I take comfort in the sure knowledge that God’s will is constant. When the whole world is in turmoil, God won’t make weak concessions to public opinion. He’s a firm foundation on which to build.” Bon Bon realized that there was really nothing she could say. She doubted that Adam would ever change his views and she had no intention of changing who she was. All Bon Bon could do was to smile, nod and play pretend with Adam until she and Lyra could get off the ark.

The more time Bon Bon spent with Adam, the more they grew to enjoy one another’s company. For Bon Bon, it was a classic case of the prisoner feeling sympathetic towards her captor. Bon Bon wanted to remain in Adam’s good graces to increase her chance for survival. Adam was just happy to have another stallion to talk to. Bon Bon wanted Adam to trust her, so she made a habit of saying things to him that would elicit positive and agreeable responses.

“Steve, you’re a wonderful conversationalist,” Adam said, “You’re eager and teachable, which are qualities I admire in a young stallion.”

“Thank you,” Bon Bon said, “I’m blessed to have such a knowledgeable teacher.” Now that she had bonded with Adam, Bon Bon wanted to endear herself even further.

“I’d like to share a joke with you, if I may,” Bon Bon said, as she flashed a winning smile, “Why is it so cold in Hell after the flood?”

“I don’t know,” Adam said, “Why?”

“Since the Sodomites showed up, Satan is too scared to bend over and pick up any firewood!” Bon Bon said. Bon Bon’s delivery caused Adam to laugh uproariously. He placed a forehoof against a wooden beam to steady himself. He was laughing so hard that he was afraid he might fall over.

“You’re quite the comedian, young Steve,” Adam said, while wiping away mirthful tears, “Lyra is quite blessed to have a husband with such a healthy sense of humor.”

Meanwhile, Lyra was sitting alone in her pen, waiting for Bon Bon to return with Adam. She jumped up and ran to the door when she heard Adam call out for his wife. Eve trotted over to the door of her pen and waited for her husband.

“You’ll never guess what I found out today,” Adam said, cheerfully, “Apparently, a pair of lesbians escaped the flood and stowed away on the ark.” Lyra’s heart froze. She had horrifying visions of Adam torturing Bon Bon to get a confession. While Lyra was too petrified to move, Eve looked livid.

“Lesbians?!” Eve shouted, “Where?! I’ll get a mob together and we’ll cast the filly foolers into the sea!” As Adam and Bon Bon walked in front of the cages, Lyra saw her whole life pass before her eyes. There was nowhere to run. Lyra was preparing to fight for her life, when Adam burst out laughing. Bon Bon managed a half-hearted chuckle.

“Calm yourself, dearest,” Adam said, “It was merely a jest.” Lyra and Eve both looked dubious, but for vastly different reasons.

“A jest?” Eve said, looking around suspiciously, “But what about the lesbians?”

“It was simply a witty observation from young Steve here,” Adam said as he slapped Bon Bon on the back, “The cheeky rascal said that he and I could be compared to filly foolers, since all of us prefer the company of mares.” Lyra breathed a sigh of relief when she realized their secret was still secure. She then shot Bon Bon a look that seemed to say, “You scared me half to death with that little joke.” Bon Bon returned Lyra’s exasperated glare with a sheepish grin.

“Steve’s more than a first-rate comedian,” Adam said, “He’s also a hard worker and an excellent conversationalist.”

“You’re too kind,” Bon Bon said, “I just try to live my life with pious humility.” Adam looked in at Lyra, whose mouth was hanging open.

“Steve’s a terrific stallion,” Adam said to Lyra, “He’s kind and gentle. Tender and loving. Sensitive and compassionate. The perfect companion. You’d do well to live worthy of his love.” Bon Bon was embarrassed for all the praise Adam was giving her. She opened the door to her pen and sat down beside her marefriend. Lyra was too dumbfounded to speak. She looked at Bon Bon as though she were seeing her for the first time.

It was time to rest aboard the ark. The reflected light from the fire grew dim as the whole ark was cast into near darkness. Adam and Eve began saying their nightly prayers. When Lyra and Bon Bon were certain that their neighbors were sufficiently distracted, the two marefriends talked about their day.

“I met a nice Eweish sheep today named Eunice,” Lyra said, “She confided in me that she’s a lesbian.”

“A lesbian?” Bon Bon asked incredulously, “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” Lyra said, “It would seem we weren’t the only tribades to escape from Sodom.” Bon Bon looked rather worried.

“Lyra,” Bon Bon said, nervously, “You didn’t...”

“What? Tell her about us?” Lyra said, “Don’t worry. As far as she’s concerned, I’m just her heterosexual friend. I’d never do anything to compromise your disguise.” Once Adam and Eve finished their prayers, Lyra and Bon Bon halted their conversation. They waited until their neighbors were fast asleep before continuing. Lyra made sure that Adam was snoring before she spoke again.

“That reminds me,” Lyra asked, “When did you and Adam become such close friends?” Bon Bon glanced over at Adam. He had drifted off into a deep sleep and was exhausted from the events of the day.

“He acts differently when he’s not around his wife,” Bon Bon said, “In some respects, he’s nicer. I think Adam just feels more comfortable around stallions.”

“But you’re not a stallion!” Lyra said, a little too loudly. Bon Bon shushed her marefriend, as though worried that someone might hear.

“He doesn’t know that,” Bon Bon said, quietly, “Besides, I need to stay friends with Adam if we want to get through this. He has to be able to trust me.”

“Alright,” Lyra said, “I just worry about you alone with him.”

“Oh, Adam’s not so bad, once you get to know him,” Bon Bon said, “Aside from being an insufferable bigot, he can actually be sort of sweet.”

The ark was rocked by the waves as its inhabitants tried to rest. For some, a pleasant night’s sleep did not come easy. As Adam tossed and turned, his dreams seemed to taunt him. As he slept, he imagined that he and Steve were gay lovers. In his dream, Adam cradled Steve in his forehooves and nibbled on his ear. They reveled in their forbidden love while listening to their hearts beating as one.

“I love being around you, Steve,” Adam said in his dream, “I want to spend more time with you and show you how much our friendship means to me. I want to whisper in your ear that you’re my best friend and I... I love you, Steve.”

“Oh, Steve,” Adam muttered softly out loud, “Kiss me.” A leaking aqueduct above his pen awoke Adam from his dream. He blushed and began sweating from fear and embarrassment. With sheer panic in his eyes, Adam looked over at Bon Bon, who was sleeping peacefully beside Lyra. Adam couldn’t take his eyes off Bon Bon.

“Steve’s horn is so long and... suggestive,” Adam thought, “and his body is so petite and effeminate, for a stallion.” A knot formed in the pit of his stomach as Adam was struck with a sudden realization.

“Oh God, I’m lusting after Steve,” Adam thought, as a terrified look crossed his face, “I’m a coltcuddler.”

The Law of Sacrifice

Just sit right back and you'll read a tale,
a tale of a fateful lark,
that started with a pair of mares,
aboard this mighty ark.

Lyra was a crafty unicorn,
and Bon Bon played her ruse,
disguised as her marefriend’s husband on their forty day cruise. Their forty day cruise.

The weather started getting rough,
the mighty ark was tossed,
if not for the faith of the Prophet Noah,
all life on earth was lost. All life on earth was lost.

The ark endures this mighty flood,
while hilarity ensues,
with Lyra here,
and Bon Bon, too,
Adamic Faith,
and his wife,
the Prophet Noah,
Angel Bunny,
and Abra-ram,
on their forty day cruise!

Lyra and Bon Bon sat beside each other as their morning manna rations were poured into their bowls. The small food door slid shut when one of Noah’s sons pulled the lever which controlled the manna dispersion on the second floor. It wouldn’t be opened again until it was time for their evening meal.

Adam and Eve weren’t in their pen. After saying their morning prayers, they left straightaway to receive service instructions from Angel Bunny. While their neighbors were gone, Lyra and Bon Bon could talk more freely.

“Hm hm hmm hmm hm hmm hmm hm hmm,” Lyra hummed, while bobbing her head.

“Are you humming that song from your dreams again?” Bon Bon asked.

“I can’t help it,” Lyra said, “It’s catchy.”

“I take it your dreams of escape aren’t getting any better?” Bon Bon asked.

“No,” Lyra said, “For the past couple of weeks, the nightmares have been getting more vivid. Last night I dreamed we almost escaped the ark.”

“Oh?” Bon Bon said, humorously, “How did we nearly do it this time?”

“In my dream, I built a huge flying machine out of discarded bird feathers and coconuts,” Lyra said. She made a sweeping gesture with her forehooves to represent the scope and size of her dream creation.

“Coconuts?” Bon Bon said, dubiously, “Where did you find that many coconuts on board the ark?”

“It was a dream, okay?” Lyra said defensively, “It doesn’t have to make sense.”

“Fair enough,” Bon Bon said, as she rolled her eyes, “So, how did your dream end?”

“It ended as all my dreams end,” Lyra said, exasperated, “with failure. After flying away from the ark, my machine got struck by lightning and we fell into the ocean.”

“Ah,” Bon Bon said as she nodded her head, “I imagine God gets quite the chuckle out of watching your dreams.”

“I guess,” Lyra said, as she furrowed her brow at Bon Bon’s God comment, “In retrospect, I probably should’ve waited until after the lightning stopped before trying any escape attempt.”

Bon Bon shook her head at the folly of second guessing a dream.

“As the private parts of God are we,” Bon Bon said, “He plays with us for His sport.”

“Yeah, well I’m tired of being jerked around,” Lyra said, “I’m ready to get off this stinking tub.”

Lyra angrily pounded one of her forehooves against her feeding trough. Bon Bon patted her sympathetically on the back.

“It’ll be alright,” Bon Bon said.

“I don’t know how much longer I can fake this ‘happy homemaker’ routine,” Lyra said as her left eye twitched involuntarily, “For the past few weeks, Eve’s been on me like a bad rash. It seems like all we do now is visit and teach the other animals. We pray, sing hymns and praise God. It’s awful. I’d much rather be doing hard manual labor all day with you and Adam.”

Bon Bon sighed while looking concerned.

“Adam’s been acting really strange lately,” Bon Bon said, as she shook her head, “He was so talkative the first day we worked together; but since then, he’s hardly spoken to me at all. He just focuses on our chores and tries to pretend like I’m not there.”

“Sounds nice,” Lyra said, churlishly, “I wish Eve would ignore me. Instead, she keeps making me testify about how ‘blessed’ I am for having ‘rejected’ magic.”

“Sorry about that,” Bon Bon said, as she remembered her previous comments, “Adam cornered me and I panicked.”

“It’s okay,” Lyra said, “Telling Adam we rejected magic was the right thing to do. Otherwise, he might try to perform an exorcism on us, or something. It just requires me to add ‘spellcasting’ to the list of secrets I’m keeping.”

The word ‘secrets’ made Bon Bon think once again of Adam.

“Adam must be hiding some secret,” Bon Bon said, “During these last few weeks, he’s been all nervous and sweaty around me. I think he might be sick.” Lyra and Bon Bon’s hushed conversation was cut short by the sound of Eve knocking at the entrance of their pen. She propped open the door and let herself in. Lyra and Bon Bon turned around; clearly annoyed by this invasion of privacy.

“Good morning, Steve! Good morning, Lyra!” Eve said in her insufferably cheerful voice, “I hope you two enjoyed your breakfast.”

Lyra and Bon Bon remained silent.

“Well Lyra, are you ready for another fun-filled day of service and saving souls?” Eve asked exuberantly.

“Do you care?” Lyra asked, irritated.

“”Oh, Lyra stop!” Eve said with a laugh, “You’re simply incorrigible.”

Lyra mumbled several profane curses under her breath.

“What was that?” Eve asked.

“Nothing!” Bon Bon said, covering up Lyra’s rude remarks, “She was just telling me about how much fun she’s had with you these past few weeks.” Lyra glowered at Bon Bon, who pretended not to notice.

At that moment Adam reluctantly shuffled into the pen and stood behind his wife. Bon Bon couldn’t help but stare at him with concern. Adam’s eyes were puffy and red, as though he hadn’t slept well in weeks. He was also looking gaunt, due to a lack of food.

“Are you alright?” Bon Bon asked. The sound of her tender and compassionate voice sent Adam’s heart beating faster. He tried to resist his immense attraction to her, but his hormones were starting to get the better of him. He was about to respond to her question, when Eve interrupted her husband.

“Adam’s fine,” Eve said, “He’s just been fasting for spiritual guidance.” Adam couldn’t look Bon Bon in the face. He kept his eyes to the ground and prayed for God to remove his lustful urges.

“I’m truly blessed to have such a spiritual stallion for my mate,” Eve said, as she nuzzled his neck affectionately, “Adam’s a strong pillar of faith. The light of his testimony attracts the gaze of all the world.”

“Attracts the what?!” Adam said, panicking.

“The gaze,” Eve said, surprised by her husband’s nervousness, “Everyone who looks at you can see the fire of faith burning in your eyes. I just meant you were spiritually flaming.” Adam grimaced and whimpered as he was inundated with his wife’s unintentionally homoerotic wordplay. His frail and malnourished body was shaking and sweating. He looked as though he were repulsed by his own body.

“Temptation isn’t a sin,” Adam thought repeatedly to himself, “Temptation isn’t a sin. I’ll purge these feelings from my heart through intense fasting and devout prayer. As long as I don’t act on these... urges, I won’t lose my soul.” Adam knew that the best thing to do when confronted with unchaste thoughts was to keep busy.

“Hard work!” Adam thought, “That’s exactly what I need to squelch these unnatural lusts. If I continue to labor diligently, I’ll be too tired to fornicate!”

“I have big plans for us today, Steve,” Adam said, trying to sound normal, “I hope you’re ready to sweat.” Adam immediately regretted his choice of words, as he imagined beads of sweat covering Bon Bon’s supple body. Eve smiled as she looked at Bon Bon.

“Sounds like Adam means to wear you out today, Steve,” Eve said, “Don’t let him ride you too hard.” Eve’s comments weren’t helping. Her remarks gave Adam a slew of fresh lurid mental images, which he was desperately trying to ignore. He could feel the blood draining from his face.

“Don’t worry about me,” Bon Bon said, “No matter how hard things get between us, Adam and I always make the best out of any sticky situation.” Adam bit his lip and whimpered as his soul smoldered with what he perceived to be homosexual lust. He ran over to Lyra and Bon Bon’s water trough and dunked his face in it to cool himself off. When he pulled his head out, his wet mane clung to his face.

“Adam, what’s gotten into you?” Eve asked, concerned.

“Nothing’s gotten into me!” Adam said frantically as he subconsciously clenched his flank muscles, “And it’s going to stay that way!” Lyra and Bon Bon looked at him awkwardly. In an act of overcompensation, Adam ran over and kissed Eve full on the lips. There was no passion; only a desperate attempt to show evidences of his waning heterosexuality.

“I love my wife!” Adam shouted frantically as he broke the spontaneous kiss. He looked up, as though he was trying to make sure that God had seen and heard him. Eve looked startled by the sudden public display of affection from her husband. Adam was usually much more reserved and private when it came to intimacy.

“Come on, Steve!” Adam said, his voice cracking, “Let’s go get to work.” Bon Bon could tell that there was something strange about Adam, but as long as everyone was focusing on his behavior instead of her, she wasn’t about to complain.

“I’ll do anything to help,” Bon Bon said, “I’m willing to bend over backwards when servicing others.” Adam groaned as he pictured Bon Bon contorting herself in a suggestive manner.

“What a selfless attitude you have towards service,” Eve said, impressed, “It would seem that you’ve drawn inspiration from Adam’s charitable nature. It’s good to see my husband rubbing off on you, Steve.” That last unintentional double entendre was too much for Adam. His eyes went wide. He gave a girlish shriek of terror as he ran away from his pen, with Bon Bon having to chase after him.

“Wait, Adam!” Bon Bon said as she ran, “Slow down! We’re supposed to be doing service on the lower floor. I thought you wanted us to go down together!” Eve listened as Adam and Bon Bon’s hoofbeats echoed down the ark’s interior.

“Sometimes I worry about that stallion,” Eve said, shaking her head. Lyra wasn’t worried about Bon Bon. She knew her marefiend could handle herself around Adam. Lyra was more concerned for herself as it suddenly dawned on her that she was once again stuck spending the day with Eve.

“While our husbands are out ensuring that the animals’ physical needs are met, you and I will continue our mission of perfecting their souls,” Eve said.

“Hallelujah,” Lyra said, unenthused.

In keeping with their schedule of bringing Gospel messages to those on board the ark, Eve decided to pay a visit to the zebras. Lyra sat there looking bored while Eve preached. The male zebra, named Bagamoyo, sat beside his wife, Zecora. They had decorated their pen with trinkets from their native land. There were chicken bones tied to woven bands, a mortar and pestle for grinding potion ingredients and small statues of tribal fertility gods. The graven images made Eve recoil in horror, but she said a quick, silent prayer to calm herself.

“So you believe in the Son of God and have accepted Him as your Lord and Savior?” Eve asked.

“Oh yes indeed
His grace we need,” Zecora said. Her husband nodded in agreement.

“My wife and I were converted by Noah’s assistant.
When Angel warned of the Flood, he was very insistent,” Bagamoyo said. He had a deep, booming voice that reverberated off the walls of his pen.

“So we packed up all our things and left while it was dark,
bid farewell to our village and made tracks for the ark,” Zecora said.

“That must have taken real faith and courage to leave everything you knew behind to follow the word of the Prophet,” Eve said, “Only you didn’t quite leave everything behind, did you?” Zecora and Bagamoyo looked confused by her statement. Eve nodded her head accusingly at Zecora’s tribal fertility statues. Lyra groaned as she covered her face with her forehooves. She knew this wouldn’t end well.

“I rejoice in your conversion, but there are still some things that you need to change,” Eve said as she cast her eyes apprehensively around the zebras pen. Bagamoyo and Zecora were both surprised and slightly offended.

“We believe in God and will follow His Son.
How can you now say that there’s more to be done?” Zecora asked. Eve shook her head reproachfully and sighed.

“Having faith in the Son of God involves more than believing He will be born and accepting Him as your Savior,” Eve said, “You must also forsake your false gods.” Lyra could tell by the look on the zebras’ faces that they weren’t pleased with Eve’s condemnation of their culture and heritage.

“While you may have hearkened to the Prophet’s voice, you’re still largely ignorant concerning God’s Plan of Salvation,” Eve said, “Fortunately, Lyra and I are here to educate you on spiritual matters.”

“Leave me out of this,” Lyra said, embarrassed. Eve’s confrontational methods were making Lyra blush.

“Oh, she’s just being humble,” Eve said dismissively, while gesturing towards Lyra. Eve walked forward and attempted to remove the fertility statues, when Zecora blocked her path.

“Our charms and our trinkets are sacred to us,
We believe in God’s Son, so what is the fuss?” Zecora said. Eve didn’t get upset by Zecora’s defiance. Instead, she looked at her with a mix of pity and condescension.

“I know it must be difficult to break free of the false traditions that you were raised with, but there’s no place for mumbo jumbo superstitions in the kingdom of God,” Eve said, “You must change your stripey hearts.” Lyra did a double facehoof and slowly inched away from Eve. Bagamoyo furrowed his brow.

“You pious mare with endless gripes
now tells us we should change our stripes?” Bagamoyo said, irritated.

“Oh, don’t be silly,” Eve said, “Everypony knows that zebras can’t really change the pattern of their coats.” Lyra opened one eye and looked at Eve. For a moment, it looked as though Eve was attempting some small measure of restraint and tact. This turned out to not be the case. Eve made a saccharine smile as she looked at Bagamoyo and Zecora.

“Your stripes are a punishment from God,” Eve said, sincerely, “The inferior zebroid race was marked with striped skin so ponies would know not to mix with their seed.” Lyra, Zecora and Bagamoyo’s mouths hung open in shock. Eve remained oblivious to their stunned reactions as she continued to preach her doctrine.

“Yet even now, with all your numerous imperfections, God is still offering you a chance at salvation,” Eve said, hopefully, “You’re on the path, but there are still traces of your old culture that you must abandon before you can completely fall in line with the Great Gospel Plan.” Eve thought that those whom she was teaching were in awe of her spiritual power. In actuality, the zebras were too flabbergasted by her racist remarks to reply.

“A few weeks ago, Lyra and I met with a flock of sheep who were unwilling to abandon their false traditions,” Eve said, “They may have survived the flood, but their prideful souls won’t be able to escape the pits of Hellfire.” Eve’s mention of the flock caused Lyra to think about Eunice.

“Incantations and potions are tools Satan uses to blind the gullible,” Eve said, “You can’t follow God’s plan while dabbling in false doctrine.” Zecora glanced at her mortar and pestle before shooting Eve a dirty look. Eve knew that the zebras wouldn’t renounce their former traditions without additional spiritual promptings. She took a deep breath and exhaled. Eve realized that she had been monopolizing the preaching, so she decided to open the floor to Lyra. Eve thought that Lyra’s testimony might be able to touch the zebras’ stubborn hearts.

“Lyra, Adam told me that you and Steve don’t practice magic,” Eve said, “As a unicorn, that’s a sure sign of your faith in God. What are some of the spiritual blessings you’ve seen as a result of shunning spellcraft?” Lyra wasn’t listening to the conversation. She was still thinking about Eunice. It had been a few weeks since they had met. Lyra had wanted to go back and let Eunice know that they were still friends.

“Lyra,” Eve repeated, “How does it make you feel to know that God is pleased with your decision to shun Satan’s sorcery?” There was a long pause as Lyra sat there in silence. She looked at Eve, before turning her attention to the perturbed zebra couple. Lyra then closed her eyes and gave a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry,” Lyra said, while shaking her head, “I can’t do this today.” Without another word, Lyra stood up and walked out of the zebras’ pen. Eve stared in disbelief. She looked back at the zebras, who were both glaring at her bitterly. Eve realized she needed to salvage what was left of her lesson.

“I think that’s enough enlightenment for one day,” Eve said, “Thank you for your time and be sure to throw all those nasty fertility idols away before our next visit.” Zecora stood up and and showed Eve the way out.

“As as escort you from our home, I hope you won’t find my comments too crass,
but if you don’t like seeing our idols, why don’t you shove them up your...” Zecora said.

“May God forgive your many sins and bless you!” Eve said hastily, cutting Zecora off, “Maybe when you get to heaven, God will finally lift your stripey curse and your coats will be made pure.” Eve quickly exited the zebras’ pen and left Zecora standing there, positively fuming. Eve soon caught up with Lyra, who was standing a short distance away.

“Lyra, what’s wrong?” Eve said, “You were even more standoffish during that lesson than usual.”

“I’ve just been thinking about the Eweish flock,” Lyra said, “I really think we should pay them another visit.” Eve defiantly stomped both her forehooves on the floor, as though she were bracing herself to be hit by an oncoming tidal wave.

“We were shunned,” Eve said, gravely, “I’m not going to cast my pearls of wisdom before unlearned sheep.” Lyra knew Eve would need an evangelical reason to return. Lyra had to make it seem like they had a chance at conversion.

“But, I think the daughter can be reached,” Lyra said, “When I spoke with her before, she seemed receptive to what I had to say.” Eve’s expression softened and she smiled.

“You think the daughter might be converted to believe in the Son of God?” Eve asked hopefully.

“Yes?” Lyra lied. She honestly couldn’t imagine Eunice changing religions. She seemed determined to follow her Eweish heritage the last time they met. Lyra just couldn’t think of any other excuse that would make Eve want to visit the sheep again.

“If she denounces the vain and foolish traditions of her ancestors, it’ll break the heart of her fat-headed father,” Eve said, with sadistic glee. Lyra looked disconcerted.

“Isn’t that a little vindictive?” Lyra asked, “Whatever happened to saving souls?”

“When I first began to preach the Gospel, I knew that not everyone would accept what I had to say,” Eve said, “Our message will only be received by one from a family or two from a city. I never had much hope in converting the entire flock.” Lyra felt pretty confident about her ability to bluff her way through religious horse apples. She had learned a lot from Eve about emotional and psychological manipulation.

“Now for the most important question,” Eve said, “Is the Spirit prompting you to return?”

“I think it is,” Lyra said confidently, in another lie. Eve grinned.

“Then we should hearken to its voice,” Eve said, “We shall leave the ninety and nine to rescue that one which is lost.”

A short time later, Lyra and Eve were on their way to visit Eunice and her family. The top level of the ark was unusually quiet, but as they neared the sheep pen, Lyra could hear the faint sounds of singing.

“I was hoping that when we get there, you could keep Abra-ram distracted for a while, so I can meet with his daughter,” Lyra said, “I’d hate for his hardened heart to prevent Eunice from receiving the blessings of salvation.”

“Divide and convert,” Eve said, with a smirk, “I’ve taught you well.” When they arrived at the pen, Lyra was expecting to be reviled by the sheep after how Eve treated them last time. Instead, Abra-ram and his flock were completely unaware of their arrival. All the sheep were gathered around Eunice, who was standing atop a platform. She was crying. From what Lyra could tell, it looked like Eunice’s family was shouting at her. All the sheep surrounding her were making loud cries and shrill bleating sounds.

“Oh no,” Lyra thought, “Abra-ram must have found out his daughter’s a lesbian. Her family must be trying some sort of intervention, or exorcism, or worse!” Without a moment’s hesitation, Lyra pushed her way through the herd to get to Eunice. Eve stood at the entranceway and marveled at Lyra’s tenacity.

“She’s aflame with the spirit, alright,” Eve thought. Lyra jumped up onto the small platform and stood in front of Eunice. Lyra was determined to shield her new friend from bigotry and ridicule.

“You monsters!” Lyra said indignantly, “Can’t you see she’s hurting inside?” Eunice stopped crying and raised a hoof to try and calm Lyra down.

“It’s alright,” Eunice said, “These are tears of joy.” Lyra did a double take.

“You mean they’re not harassing you?” Lyra said, “But they were shouting at you.”

“They were singing,” Eunice said, “and shouting hoshanas to God. This is a celebration.” Before Eunice could expound further, Abra-ram stepped forward and looked irritably at Lyra.

“Get down from there, you stupid shikseh!” Abra-ram said. It suddenly dawned on Lyra that she was making a fool of herself. She blushed and hopped off the platform. In the confusion, Eve had slipped into the pen unnoticed and made her way through the crowd. She arrived at the platform and stood next to Lyra. Abra-ram looked at both of them and sighed.

“You sonems are a thorn in my side yet again,” Abra-ram said, “I can never know peace from goyim; not even at my daughter’s sacred ceremony.” For the first time, Lyra noticed that Eunice’s wool was looking particularly immaculate. She looked like she had been groomed for hours. She also had a crown of laurels on her head. Lyra’s face turned beet red. She had come to show her friend love and support, but instead ended up interrupting some important rite of passage for her faith.

“Eunice,” Lyra said, awkwardly, “You look so... clean.”

“Well, of course Eunice is clean, my gentile pony,” Abra-ram said, “She’s kosher.”

“You’ve mentioned that before,” Lyra said, slightly annoyed, “What’s the big deal about being kosher?”

“To be kosher means that one is cleansed from impurities,” Abra-ram said, “The prophet Noah has chosen Eunice for the highest honor that can happen to a sheep. My daughter shall be the next shaineh raaineh keporah.

“What does that mean?” Lyra asked.

“The beautiful, clean sacrifice!” Abra-ram said, joyfully. His eyes had become moist with fatherly pride. If Lyra had been drinking something, she would’ve done a spit take. She was sure she must have heard him wrong.

“What did you say?” Lyra said.

"We're one of the few animals God has ordained and allowed Noah to use for his sacrifices,” Abra-ram said.

“What?!” Lyra said, “You mean to tell me that Noah sacrifices animals, too?” Eve smiled at Lyra’s naivety.

“Of course,” Eve said, with an air of superiority, “Why do you think Noah allowed so many sheep on board the Ark? He brought extra so he’d have plenty to sacrifice.” Lyra couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She looked up at Eunice, before returning her gaze to Abra-ram.

“Steve and I left Sodom to get away from religious zealots and their burnt offerings!” Lyra said, angrily.

“The Sodomites made a mockery of animal sacrifice, “Abra-ram said, disdainfully, “They didn't understand the symbolism. Ordained animal sacrifices can only be performed in certain places, at certain times, in certain manners, by certain people and for certain purposes.” Lyra still looked panicky. She could still remember the smell of blood and the screaming of the mare as she was thrown on the fire. She imaged Eunice being tied up and brutally slaughtered, which caused the color to drain from Lyra’s face. Abra-ram assumed she was frightened for her own safety, so he tried to comfort her.

"Don't worry your uncircumcised little heart,” Abra-ram said, “Noah would never sacrifice an unclean shikseh like yourself. Only kosher animals, like Eunice, are worthy of that honor in the eyes of God."

“What honor?" Lyra said, “Noah’s going to murder her, plain and simple.” This profane remark caused Abra-ram’s anger to spike. He took a moment to calm himself before responding to Lyra.

“I can assure you that the law of sacrifice is neither plain nor simple,” Abra-ram said, “It is rich with symbolism. But why should I tell you, when I can have my daughter do it?” Lyra watched as Eunice stepped down from the platform and stood by her father. She seemed nervous and embarrassed to be speaking to Lyra about her impending sacrifice. She kept her head down; unable to look Lyra in the eyes.

"When one of us is sacrificed, we take upon us the sins of all those around us,” Eunice said, meekly, “We die in their place; and by so doing, help them to become clean like us. Though their sins be as red as scarlet, we can make them white and pure as our wool.” Lyra was dumbstruck. She thought that Eunice must’ve been brainwashed into joining her father’s suicide cult. Before Lyra could overcome the initial shock and form a coherent thought, Eve responded to Eunice’s remarks.

“From the foundation of the Earth, it was prophesied that the Son of God would come in the meridian of time to take upon Himself the sins of the world,” Eve said, “Since the Fall of Man, prophets have made animal sacrifices, but this was always a type and a shadow of what is to come. We are all sinners and none of us are pure. Your rituals cannot save you or anyone else. Only through faith in the Son of God can you find salvation.” The other sheep looked to Father Abra-ram for guidance. He narrowed his eyes at Eve.

“Our burnt offerings are not meant as foreshadowing for some hypothetical savior,” Abra-ram said, coldly, “You talk of sacrifice, but you do not comprehend it. We are the saviors.”

“Obedience is better than sacrifice,” Eve said, “Hearken to the voice of the Lord and believe in Him, for your works will not save you.”

“We are pure vessels,” Abra-ram said, “Whenever one of us is sacrificed, we take upon us the sins of those around us and die in their place for their transgressions. Only a sinless soul could carry such a heavy burden.”

“You stubborn sheep!” Eve said, “The law of sacrifice was made as a stumbling block. You are the old law which will be swallowed up by the new law when the Son of God is born.” Eunice had been listening to the argument between her father and Eve until she could no longer hold her tongue. Exhibiting faith and courage, Eunice stepped forward and confronted Eve.

“Belief is not merely confined to one's thoughts and feelings,” Eunice said, “To truly believe in something, one has to be willing to sacrifice everything for their faith.” Lyra had heard enough.

“You're all insane!” Lyra said, “I should've taken my chances with the Sodomites! They may have slaughtered innocent animals, but at least they weren’t part of some deranged suicide cult!” Eunice gasped. Her lip began to quiver. Lyra thought she might have offended her friend, but she didn’t care. Lyra reasoned that saving Eunice’s life was more important than sparing her feelings. Lyra was determined to give her friend one last chance to come to her senses.

“Eunice, don’t tell me you honestly believe this stuff,” Lyra said, “This isn’t who you are.” Eunice looked up; she had tears in her eyes.

“This is how it should be,” Eunice said, before looking away, "This is who I should be." Lyra’s heart sank. Eve pursed her lips. She could see there would be no convincing Eunice. She was wholly invested in following her family’s Eweish tradition.

“Go ahead and burn then,” Eve said, coldly, “It’ll give you a nice taste of what to expect in the afterlife.” Lyra would’ve normally denounced Eve for her insensitive comment, but given the circumstance, Lyra was too upset at Eunice to defend her. Abra-ram glared at Lyra and Eve. He was too angry to waste words on them.

“Come on, Lyra. Let’s get out of here,” Eve said, “We’ve done all we can do.” Lyra clenched her teeth as her eyes welled with tears. She wanted to try and talk some sense into Eunice, but she seemed determined to sacrifice herself to preserve her family’s traditions. The sheep parted as Lyra and Eve walked out of the pen. Lyra didn’t even make a backwards glance at Eunice. Once they were outside, one of the sheep slammed the gate shut behind them. As Eunice watched Lyra leave, she started to cry. Abra-ram tried to comfort her.

"There, there,” Abra-ram said, “Everything will be alright, my little shaineh raaineh keporah.”

Once they were out of the gate, Lyra ran from the sheep pen as fast as she could. She felt as though Eunice had taken her heart and crushed it. Lyra was sobbing. Her eyes were so full of tears that she couldn’t see straight. She sat down near one of the Ark’s support beams and continued to cry. Eve caught up with Lyra and sat down beside her. Eve thought Lyra was upset about their message being ignored.

“Having someone reject the living Gospel is never easy to take,” Eve said, sympathetically, “It’s not your fault, Lyra. The path which leads to salvation is narrow and few there be that find it.” Eve could see Lyra was still distraught, so she did the only thing she could think of; Eve gave Lyra a hug. At first, Lyra was shocked. She hated Eve, and yet, in this moment of weakness, Lyra was grateful for her compassion. Lyra’s lip quivered. She continued to cry, while being hugged and comforted by Eve.

Angel's Salvation Squad

The floodwaters continued to rise as the ship was rocked by the waves. The ark’s wooden structural beams creaked and groaned under the pressure of the wind and rain. Noah and his family huddled around the fire in their cramped living quarters and made supplications to the Lord that He might preserve them on their harrowing voyage.

With the rest of the known world covered in water, Lyra and Bon Bon had no choice but to continue their charade as husband and wife. Their very lives depended on the success of this farce. For the first couple of weeks aboard the ark, Lyra and Bon Bon were too depressed to talk. They spent their days sitting silently around their pen. During that time they hardly slept or ate. On the rare occasions when they did talk to each other, they had to be careful to conduct all conversations in secret. It was on one such night, after Adam and Eve had fallen asleep, that Lyra and Bon Bon discussed their situation. Adam’s words weighed heavily on their minds. While they had both been pondering the implications of the flood for weeks, it was only now that either of them felt comfortable discussing their looming fears.

“If the flood happened like he predicted, does that mean Adam’s right about everything?” Bon Bon asked apprehensively, “Does God really hate us?” Lyra sat brooding as she glanced at Adam and Eve sleeping peacefully beside each other. The sounds of sloshing water could be heard as the ark swayed back and forth. Adam and Eve slept the sweet sleep of the vindicated. Even as they rested, their faces wore the smug expressions of self-righteous bigots. Lyra bore her teeth at them.

“Who gives them the right to call our love unnatural and wicked?” Lyra said quietly to Bon Bon, “Their deity is no more real than Baal. I can’t believe in a God who hates me.” Bon Bon was not a particularly religious mare. She was raised Pagan and was aware of all their religious holidays; mainly because they used to mean big business for her and Two Legs. In spite of these outward expressions of faith, Bon Bon didn’t truly know if God existed or not. She thought the Baal worshipers seemed harmless enough, until they tried to sacrifice her. Considering what the two of them had been through, Bon Bon was surprised by Lyra’s skepticism.

“After all the things we’ve seen, how can you not believe that God exists?” Bon Bon asked in the hopeless tone of one who had already accepted defeat, “What do you think caused the flood, if not God?”

“I don’t know,” Lyra said, her voice quivering with emotion, “but I doubt it was God who caused the flood because I refuse to believe in Him. I can’t accept anything that would try to separate us.” Lyra and Bon Bon looked lovingly at each other. Even in the dim light of the reflected fire, Bon Bon could see that Lyra’s eyes were moist.

“Oh, Lyra,” Bon Bon said. Lyra turned her head away and gnashed her teeth in frustration. Bon Bon watched helplessly as Lyra shut her eyes tight and a single, bitter tear ran down her cheek. After taking a deep breath, Lyra slowly opened her eyes.

“I may not believe in God,” Lyra said as she stared at the ground, “but one thing is clear. The universe wants us dead, Bon Bon. We were lucky to avoid the flood, but we may not be so fortunate next time.” Bon Bon moved closer and hugged Lyra in an attempt to comfort her.

“If loving you is a sin,” Bon Bon said, “then I don’t want to be saved.” Lyra choked back more tears in an effort to compose herself.

“And if God really does exist,” Lyra said, “then He played a pretty sick joke when He created us. According to Adam, we’re nothing but a pair of mistakes in God’s eyes. He hates us and now He’s trying to kill us." Based on the things she had experienced, Bon Bon felt as though she had no choice but to accept the existence of God; that being said, she wasn't about to agree with Adam's interpretation.

“God doesn’t hates us,” Bon Bon said. sincerely, “He allowed us to escape from Sodom, didn’t He? If God wanted to send us to Hell, he would’ve stopped us from boarding the ark.” Lyra stared at the ground as she processed Bon Bon’s words. After a moment of silence, Lyra raised her head and looked intently at Bon Bon.

“What if those who died at Sodom were the lucky ones?” Lyra said, with new clarity, “What if this ark is our Hell? Our punishment is to live our lives in constant dread aboard this floating coffin. We’ll linger here until we die. Slowly. Miserably. Painfully.” The mounting hopelessness was more than Lyra could bear. She started to sob. Bon Bon also began to cry as she wrapped her forehooves around Lyra and held her close. Bon Bon’s expression of love helped to lift Lyra’s sinking spirit.

“It’s going to be okay,” Bon Bon said, “I promise we’ll always be together.” Those were the words Lyra had been longing to hear Bon Bon say ever since the first day they met.

“Nothing in heaven or earth could keep me from you,” Lyra said, “I love you, Bon Bon.”

“Shhh,” Bon Bon said in a quiet whisper, “For now, call me Steve.”

“Steve,” Lyra whispered back, “I love you.”

"I love you, too," Bon Bon said. The two marefriends kissed as they eked out some small modicum of pleasure amidst their harrowing surroundings. Bon Bon’s fake horn rubbed against Lyra’s horn as the two marefriends expressed their love for each other long into the night.

The passage of time was a curiosity aboard the ark. Without a sun or moon to follow, one day would bleed into the next. When Lyra and Bon Bon awoke from their sleep, they couldn’t tell if it was morning or evening. All they saw were the usual four walls of their pen. They had been woken up by the excited voices of Adam and Eve, who were making plans for the garden they hoped to plant after the flood. Using the straw on their floor as a grid, Adam had managed to make a nice landscaping design.

“The cobblestone path will go here, alongside the fish pond,” Adam said, happily, “Your flower garden will be planted beside our prayer altar, where we’ll teach our children to worship the Lord.”

“And stone those who are different,” Lyra muttered to herself. Bon Bon yawned as Lyra stretched her body. They usually pretended to be asleep when Adam and Eve were awake, so as to avoid having to talk with them. This was one of those regrettable instances where they were all awake.

“Lyra? Steve?” Eve said, “You two have been awfully quiet this voyage.”

“Have we?” Lyra said, snippily, “Sorry. Steve and I have never been on a cruise with the last remnants of Earthly life before. Maybe when we’re as experienced as you, we’ll know how to act more appropriately.” The snide comment went over Adam and Eve’s heads, who were baffled by Lyra’s lugubriosity.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Lyra,” Adam said, “It’s just that you look so depressed. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were feeling sorry for the Sodomites.” Lyra pursed her lips as Bon Bon shot her marefriend a nervous glance. Bon Bon was silently praying that Lyra wouldn’t make a scene and blow their cover.

“While I respect and admire your tender hearts, you mustn’t shed tears for queers,” Eve said, “Their wicked souls aren’t worth your pity. The Sodomites were nothing but filthy, selfish beasts who only cared about glutting themselves on perverted fornication. Real love between two souls can only be experienced within the holy bonds of matrimony between husband and wife.” Lyra and Bon Bon scowled at their neighbors. Adam and Eve merely assumed that their new friends’ sour expressions were due to them feeling sea sick.

“Lyra and Steve,” Adam said, “You both seem to be having an especially difficult time adjusting to life on the ark, so Eve and I have taken it upon ourselves to help you.”

“Help us?” Lyra said, “You mean you’re going to throw yourselves overboard?” Adam and Eve laughed insufferably.

“Oh Lyra, how I do enjoy your fierce wit,” Eve said. Adam seemed mildly annoyed that Lyra had interrupted him to make a joke, but he was willing to look beyond it for the sake of perfecting her soul.

“But seriously,” Adam said, “Eve and I are concerned for the both of you. All you do every day is sit in your pen and mope. I never hear you singing hymns or praising God to pass the time.”

“I’ve never been much for singing,” Bon Bon said, trying to sound gruff, “I had hoped to use this voyage as a chance to rest from my labors.”

“Idle hooves are the devil’s playground,” Adam said, cautiously, “In order to save both of you from the sin of sloth, Eve and I will go with you and give service to the other animals aboard the ark, as a sign of our pious charity.”

“As true believers in the Son of God, it is our sworn duty to help others,” Eve said. Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other. Lyra discreetly glanced up a Bon Bon’s horn, which was slightly askew. Fortunately, Adam and Eve didn’t seem to notice; possibly because Bon Bon’s suggestively-shaped horn was too embarrassing for the prudish Earth Ponies to stare at for too long without thinking impure thoughts. In any case, Lyra was in no mood to press their luck.

“I don’t know,” Lyra said, trying desperately to think up any excuse to avoid spending more time with their neighbors, “The last time Steve and I got out of our pen, we got in trouble.”

“Noah won’t mind as long as you’re with us,” Eve said, “Adam and I have special authority aboard the ark from Noah’s assistant.” In the corner of their pen were a couple of badges tied with string. Eve went over and slipped one around her neck. It had an illustration of Angel Bunny’s face with the name of the group written below in gold letters.

“Angel’s Salvation Squad,” Bon Bon said as she read aloud from the badge, “A.S.S.” Eve seemed oblivious of her group’s potentially embarrassing acronym.

“This badge allows the wearer to move about the ark for the purpose of helping others,” Eve said, “If the two of you come with us, we’ll be able to double our service opportunities.” Lyra looked at Bon Bon, who vehemently said no with her eyes. Lyra was about to vocally reject the offer, when Adam opened his pen door and undid the latch on Lyra and Bon Bon’s pen.

“Trust me,” Adam said as he hoisted his neighbor’s door open, “A little selfless service will do you both worlds of good.”

Seeing that resistance was futile, Lyra decided that if they were going to explore the ark, she wanted to do it on her terms. The last thing they needed was to be separated from each other.

“Alright,” Lyra said to Adam, “Give me one of those badges and Steve and I will help the passengers on the north side of the ark. You and Eve can tend to the animals on the south side.”

Adam was taken aback by Lyra’s presumptuousness. The very idea that a mare would have the gall to demand something of him or give him orders made Adam’s bigoted blood boil. Adam refused to dignify Lyra’s idea with a response. Instead, he turned to Bon Bon and addressed her.

“Steve, if I were you I’d put a bridle on your bride,” Adam said, hotly, “Her loose tongue is going to get you in trouble one of these days.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bon Bon asked. Adam shook his head as he chuckled to himself.

“My naive young Steve, ” Adam said with a sigh, “I can see that there’s still a lot you have to learn about the proper role of a stallion. The Lord has declared that it's the duty of a wife to submit to her husband’s will in all things. Isn’t that right, my darling Eve?”

“Yes, my love,” Eve said, “I’ve actually been wanting to organize a Homemakers’ Circle by gathering some of the other wives aboard the ark and discussing how to properly serve our husbands.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Adam said, “You and Lyra should go out and find some more members. Lord knows she needs to learn some proper discipline.” Lyra and Bon Bon were physically disgusted by the chauvinistic misogyny on display.

“Can’t a couple be equal partners?” Bon Bon asked. Adam stared at Bon Bon in disbelief.

“Steve, I have to assume this is more humor at my expense,” Adam said, slightly irritated, “You’re not serious, are you? A husband and wife can’t be equal partners in marriage because they’re not created equal.” Lyra and Bon Bon stared Adam down as they tried to keep their balance amidst the rolling of the ship. They considered his reasoning to be as solid as the ocean waves which carried them.

“As a sheath is incomplete without a sword, so is a female without a male,” Adam said to Bon Bon, “In order to know full well the differences between husband and wife, Steve, you need only to look at the endowment that the Lord has blessed you with betwixt your hind legs.”

Bon Bon blushed as she crossed her hind legs. The last thing she needed was anyone getting a good look back there.

“Modesty; now there’s a quality you like to see in a stallion,” Adam said, “Stick with me, Steve, and I’ll teach you how to properly rule over your wife.” Without giving Bon Bon a chance to respond, Adam put a forehoof around her neck and dragged her out of her pen. Lyra watched helplessly as Adam led Bon Bon down the hall. Bon Bon looked back and shot Lyra a fearful glance. Bon Bon’s tail was tucked tight between her legs and her fake unicorn horn bobbed slightly as she walked. Lyra was about to rush after Bon Bon and hopefully prevent her real gender from being revealed, but Eve stepped in front of the way and blocked her path. Eve gave a coy smile as she stared at Lyra.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you, Lyra,” Eve said. Lyra looked past Eve and watched helplessly as Bon Bon reluctantly followed Adam downstairs to the first floor of the ark.

“You should know that I’m well aware of the deception being perpetrated aboard this ark,” Eve said, ominously. Lyra froze in her tracks and stared horror struck at Eve. The ark suddenly became unnaturally quiet. Lyra gulped.

“You... you do?” Lyra asked nervously. Her mouth was dry and her tongue felt like sandpaper.

“There are those aboard this ark who are living a lie,” Eve said, “Blasphemers who foolishly think that they can hide their sins from God.” Lyra began to sweat. Her heart was pounding as Eve backed her into a corner, between the outside of her pen and a support beam.

“You!” Eve shouted. Her eyes burned with the fiery passion of righteous indignation. Lyra flinched as she awaited her condemnation

“You,” Eve repeated quietly for emphasis, “are going to help me convert them.” Eve smiled tenderly as she placed a forehoof on Lyra’s back. Lyra opened her eyes in surprise.

“Excuse me?” Lyra said. She found it difficult to speak, as her heart had leapt into her throat.

“Unlike us, there are some on board the ark who still haven’t accepted the Son of God as their savior,” Eve said, “They arrogantly think that they don’t need His sacrifice. I need you to help me save their prideful souls.”

Against her better judgement, Lyra followed Eve upstairs to a nicer part of the ark on the third floor. The holding pens closer to Noah’s living quarters were well-lit. They were also roomier than the pens on the second and first floors. This was because they each housed more than two creatures.

“Since you’re not as well versed in the words of the prophets, I’ll do most of the talking,” Eve said, “While I’m saving souls, you should just concentrate on finding someone willing to join our Homemaker’s Circle.”

“Might as well,” Lyra muttered quietly to herself, “After all, misery loves company.” They passed by several roomy pens. Each of them housed seven members of their respective animal species. Cattle, deer and goats cautiously watched the two mares as they walked by.

Eve suddenly stopped in front of the spacious sheep stable. Some of the ewes were knitting shawls from each other’s wool. One sheep in the back was plucking on a small, twanging instrument, which she held in her mouth.

“How come there are more of these animals?” Lyra said, “I thought the limit was two per species.”

“Ma-a-a-a-ybe for you gentiles,” an elderly-looking sheep replied, “but not for us kosher animals.”

The large, curly-horned ram who addressed Lyra approached the fence where she stood. He wore a small, round cap, known as a yarmulke, atop his head. His shaggy wool formed long, tight curls which ran down either side of his face.

“Well, don’t just stand there like a couple of Schlemiels,” the elderly sheep said, “Come inside. There’s plenty of room.” After being welcomed in, Eve and Lyra stood there awkwardly.

“Well?” the wizened sheep said, curtly, “What do you want, Eve? Are you here to host another prayer circle on behalf of my soul?” Eve ignored his question and pressed forward with introductions.

“Lyra, this is Abra-ram,” Eve said, dispassionately, “He’s the patriarch of his Ewe-ish flock.”

“Ewe-ish?” Lyra asked, “What’s that?” Lyra didn’t realized that she had stumbled across Abra-ram’s favorite subject. He would talk ad nauseum about his Ewe-ish heritage at the drop of a yarmulke.

“It means one whose mother was a ewe,” Abra-ram said, proudly, “We are God’s chosen sheeple.” Lyra stared at him awkwardly.

“I can see you’re still confused,” Abra-ram said, “Allow me to explain. From the foundation of the world, God set forth the standards for clean and unclean animals. We sheep have cloven hooves and chew our cud, which makes us pure and kosher in the eyes of the Lord.” Much of the Ewe-ish tradition and religious symbolism was completely lost on Lyra. She could tell that Eve and Abra-ram had a different system of beliefs. As far as she could tell, they both worshiped the same God, but in different ways.

“My Ewe-ish heritage includes my covenants with God,” Abra-ram said, with an air of superiority, “The Lord has declared that I will bring forth a great nation, which God shall bless above measure, and my name shall be great among all nations, and I shall be a blessing unto my seed.” As Abra-ram spoke at length about all the blessings God had prepared for the Ewes, Eve was getting more and more anxious.

“Father Abra-ram thinks that only kosher animals can receive the full blessings of the Lord,” Eve said to Lyra, “but he’s wrong.” Eve and Abra-ram scowled at each other. Lyra looked decidedly uncomfortable.

“Kosher animals aren’t any purer than the rest of us,” Eve said, “We’re all sinful creatures in the eyes of the Lord. None of us are worthy to return to His presence on our own.” Lyra slowly backed away as Abra-ram and Eve prepared to bash religions.

“That’s what I’ve come to talk to you about today,” Eve said, “I bring glad tidings of great joy! God has made it known through his holy prophets that the Son of God will be born in the meridian of time to take upon Himself the sins of the world. Through His sacrifice, everyone will have the opportunity to become cleansed from sin.”

“I could believe that God would need to send a savior for the unclean goyim like you,” Abra-ram said, “But we sheep are pure and kosher. We don’t need a savior.”

“You stubborn Ewe!” Eve said, “Your pride will lead to your downfall!” The war of words between Abra-ram and Eve continued to escalate, with each side devolving into slinging slurs at one another. Lyra was embarrassed by the scene Eve was making. She was so focused on tearing down Abra-ram’s faith and traditions, that the notion of “saving souls” seemed more like an afterthought. Lyra hesitated to join in the loud discussion and decided to distance herself from Eve.

Lyra wandered over to the far corner of the room, where a solitary ewe was twanging happily on her mouth harp. The instrument was shaped like a horseshoe, with a flexible metal reed attached to the frame. When the ends of the instrument were placed in the mouth, the reed could be plucked, which gave off a cheerful twanging sound.

“You’re pretty talented with your instrument,” Lyra said, “...I’ve always had an affinity for music.”

Lyra swiveled her hips to give the ewe a good view of her flank and lyre cutie mark. The ewe removed the harp and wiped her saliva-slickened instrument against her soft, wooly coat.

“Thank you,” the ewe said, “The harp was a gift from my father.” With a nod of her head, the ewe gestured over to Abra-ram, who was beginning to curse at Eve in yiddish.

“You stupid Shikseh!” Abra-ram said, “Noah would’ve saved a lot of time and effort on this ark if he only allowed the clean animals on board! You noch-schleppers are lucky to be here at all!” Lyra winced as Eve’s face became red with anger. It looked like she was going to have a meltdown.

“I must apologize for Eve,” Lyra said, as she shook her head sadly, “She seems to be upsetting your father.”

“It’s alright,” the ewe said, with a chuckle, “Shouting at goyim is one of father’s favorite pastimes.” Lyra smiled as she glanced back at Eve and Abra-ram. Eve was stomping her hooves in frustration as she matched words with the stubborn sheep. She touted the need for a savior by citing the words of the prophets.

“Since the foundations of the Earth, God has made known to His prophets the need for a savior,” Eve shouted, “And His name shall be called, Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace!” The other sheep were gathering around Abra-ram as he defended his faith.

“Eve may be insufferable,” Lyra thought, “but at least she’s fearless. It can’t be easy when you’re the only contrary voice in the room.”

“You can sit by me and rest your hooves if you like,” the ewe said, “It looks like they could be a while.” Lyra shook her head sadly before sitting down beside the ewe.

“My name’s Eunice,” the sheep said, “What’s yours?”

“Lyra,” Lyra said, “Thanks for letting me rest here with you. I hate contentions.” Eve was making wide, sweeping gestures with her forehooves as she extolled the great mercies of God and prayed vocally for Abra-ram that the scales of doubt would fall from his eyes. Abra-ram looked highly irritated.

“Your friend sure seems passionate about her religion,” Eunice said as she nodded her head towards Eve.

“She’s not my friend,” Lyra said, bitterly.

“Oh,” Eunice said, “Then why are you with her?” Lyra glanced back at Eve, before sighing heavily.

“It’s complicated,” Lyra said.

“Sounds like my life,” Eunice said, with a smirk. Even though they had just met, Lyra felt a strange connection to Eunice. For the first time since boarding the ark, Lyra felt as though she had found a new friend.

“Would you care to join our Homemakers’ Circle?” Lyra said, “We discuss how to be obedient wives and... ugh, submit to the will of our husbands.” Lyra couldn’t even say the words without wanting to retch.

“You don’t sound very passionate about the group,” Eunice said, smiling.

“I’m not,” Lyra said, sincerely, “Adam and Eve are a little too backwards thinking for my tastes.”

“I can relate,” Eunice said, as she glanced toward Abra-ram, “My father is very strict about following Ewe-ish tradition. You wouldn’t believe the pressure I’m under.”

“It seems like we’re both stuck keeping up appearances,” Lyra said, “That’s all the more reason to join the Homemaker’s Circle! Between you and me, I’m secretly trying to subvert the group from within.” Eunice giggled.

“I wish you luck,” Eunice said, “but I still shouldn’t join, since I don’t have a husband.”

“Marriage isn’t a prerequisite to join,” Lyra said, “I’m sure your father would be impressed to learn that you’re serious about your future marriage responsibilities.”

“In our family, they’re more like marriage obligations,” Eunice said, “and as far as my father is concerned, he wouldn’t want me associating with unclean animals.” The hairs on Lyra’s neck tensed up. She hated being labeled.

“Oh, so because I’m not a kosher sheep, I’m not good enough for you. Is that it?” Lyra said indignantly.

“Please, don’t be upset,” Eunice said, “You seem nice enough... for a gentile.” Before Lyra allowed her anger to get the better of her, she reflected on her efforts to prove herself to Bon Bon. Lyra tried to empathize with Eunice’s desire to respect her father’s wishes. After taking a deep breath, Lyra managed to calm herself down.

“It’s alright,” Lyra said, “I understand completely. We often have to change ourselves for those we love.” At these words, Eunice’s lip began to quiver. It looked as though she were going to cry.

“I’m sorry,” Lyra said, “Did I say something wrong?”

“It’s not you,” Eunice said, “It’s me. I have to hide who I really am from my father.” Eunice had never told a soul her secret before. She was frightened by the prospect of saying such things out loud. And yet, there was something about Lyra that gave Eunice the courage to confide in her new friend.

“I have a confession,” Eunice said in a whisper, “I like ewes.”

Lyra smiled.

“Well, I like ‘youse,’ too,” Lyra said, “I like ‘youse’ as a friend, of course.”

“No. Ewes. E-W-E-S,” Eunice said, “I’m a lesbian.” Lyra did a double take. She never expected to find another tribber on board the ark.

“It’s scary to be a homosexual when your family is steeped in Ewe-ish tradition,” Eunice said, “There isn’t even a yiddish word for ‘lesbian.’” Eunice was shaking from shame and fear. Lyra wasn’t about to let her new friend suffer from the things she couldn’t control. Before Eunice realized what was happening, Lyra leaned over and hugged her. Eunice gasped in surprise.

“It’s okay,” Lyra said, “You’re not alone.”

“But I am,” Eunice said, sorrowfully, “You wouldn’t understand. I’m the only lesbian sheep in my flock. You don’t know what it’s like being the only homosexual aboard the ark.”

“You never know,” Lyra said, covertly, “There may be other tribbers who escaped Sodom.”

As much as Lyra appreciated her new friend, she didn’t feel comfortable outing herself as a lesbian to Eunice at this time. They still had a long voyage ahead, and Lyra wasn’t about to say or do anything to compromise her secret. For her sake, as well as Bon Bon’s, Lyra would have to continue her ruse as a straight mare.

“If you ever need any help, or someone to talk to, my husband and I will always be here for you,” Lyra said, “We can sympathize. You’re not alone.”

“Since I first discovered my sexuality, I struggled with fear and self-loathing,” Eunice said, “I was taught from a young age to shun what my father calls ‘unnatural lusts.’ When I boarded the ark, I prayed to God that He would remove my lesbian desires and leave them at the door. All I wanted was to be normal like my family. I had hoped that my deviate urges would drown with the rest of the world.”

“But they didn’t,” Lyra said, “because your sexuality is linked with your identity. You can’t change who you are inside, and you shouldn't try.” Eunice’s lip quivered. Lyra’s heart was moved to compassion as Eunice looked wistfully at her father. It looked as though he and Eve were both running out of steam. Their voices were becoming strained due to the shouting.

“I can see that your family’s heritage is very important to you,” Lyra said, “Take it from me. It’s pointless to try and accept anything before you can accept yourself.”

Eunice sat silently as she let Lyra’s advice sink in. Lyra took a deep breath and tried to not let her emotions get the best of her.

“You’re right,” Eunice said, “I’m a kosher Ewe. I have a responsibility to live up to my heritage, even if I‘ll never fully understand it. I need to learn as much as I can about my family’s traditions and bring my whole soul into that world, including my desires.” Eunice leaned in and hugged Lyra around her waist. Lyra tried not to giggle as the soft wool tickled her. She put her fore-hoof around Eunice’s back and hugged her.

“Thank you, Lyra,” Eunice said, “Your husband is fortunate to have a compassionate mare like you.” Lyra blushed as she thought about Bon Bon. She suddenly became very worried about Bon Bon alone with Adam.

“I realize that I’ll probably never find another ewe like me,” Eunice said as she sat up and looked at Lyra, “All I've ever wanted was to find a nice, quiet meadow where I could be myself. Someplace where I could graze peacefully and play my music.”

“I’ll come and visit you,” Lyra said, “as long as you’re willing to be friends with a gentile.” Lyra gave a wink. Eunice giggled.

“I’d like that,” Eunice said. Lyra and Eunice’s reflective revery was interrupted by Eve’s abrasive voice.

“Lyra!” Eve shouted with her strained vocal chords, “Let’s go! These hook-nosed hobgoblins wouldn’t recognize real salvation if it came up and bit them on the tuchus!”

“You unclean carbuncles look towards a savior to fix all your problems,” Abra-ram said, derisively, “God’s salvation requires personal sacrifice.”

“Faith is better than sacrifice,” Eve snapped, “The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can be cleansed from sin.”

“The only sin was not kicking you out sooner,” Abra-ram said, “Now begone and never return!” Following Abra-ram’s commands, the other sheep began to nudge and push Lyra and Eve out the stable door. Eunice watched from the back as Lyra was roughly escorted out. Once they were outside, Abra-ram closed the door. All the sheep turned their backs on Lyra and Eve. Eve tapped her forehooves against the ground.

“You’ve got to kick the dust off of your hooves after your message is rejected,” Eve said to Lyra, loud enough for Abra-ram to hear, “This signifies to the Lord that we regard the stubborn Ewes as impure and profane. They had their chance at salvation, but they shunned it.” Lyra’s face was beet red. She had never felt more embarrassed. As Eve turned to leave, Lyra followed slowly behind. Eunice turned her head to watch her new friend leave. Lyra glanced back and saw Eunice smiling at her.

“Thank you,” Eunice mouthed silently. Lyra responded with a single head nod. Eunice watched as Lyra and Eve descended the stairs to the lower floor.

Lyra had hoped to walk in silence, but Eve ruined that idea when she tried to strike up a conversation.

“I saw you talking with Abra-ram’s daughter,” Eve said, “What did you two end up discussing?” Lyra wasn’t going to lie, but she didn’t have to tell Eve the whole truth, either.

“It looked like you weren’t going to get anywhere with the father,” Lyra said, “He’s too set in his ways to change religions, so I thought I might have better luck converting the daughter. I invited her to join our Homemaker’s Circle.” Eve smiled.

“Divide and conquer,” Eve said, shrewdly, “I can already tell you’re starting to listen to the Holy Spirit.”

“Uh... sure,” Lyra said.

“The Spirit of God will tell you what to say, if you listen,” Eve said, “I’ve followed the guidance of the still, small voice for years and its influence has helped me convert many heathens.”

“The fact that you hear voices inside your head explains so much,” Lyra said, mirthlessly.

“I couldn’t do it alone,” Eve said, oblivious at Lyra’s attempts to question her sanity, “It’s a sacred gift from God. Live worthily of the Holy Spirit, Lyra, and it will always be with you.” Eve’s words of spiritual counsel were lost on Lyra. She was too busy thinking about Eunice.

When Lyra and Eve returned to their pens, their spouses hadn’t arrived yet. It would soon be time for the evening meal.

“I wonder where our husbands are?” Eve said, “I thought they would’ve returned from their service by now.” A knot formed in Lyra’s stomach.

“We’re doomed,” Lyra thought, “By now, Adam’s probably trying to coax Bon Bon into having a dick-measuring contest.”