A Prince of Mars

by Andrew Joshua Talon

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 6468

The prince of Mars returns to Equestria to catch up on what his sisters have been up to.

The prince of Mars returns to Equestria to catch up on what his sisters have been up to. But what are his true intentions?

Our favorite heroines are blasting off for a new adventure on the Red Planet...

Published 2012-11-08 09:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-08 09:40:01 UTC

One

A Prince of Mars

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-based work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro and the reinvention of Lauren Faust. Please support the official release.

- - - - - -

The night sky was mainly Twilight's domain. Applejack appreciated the beauty of the night sky, of course. No pony could go without that. But remembering the names and paths the stars and planets took? That was for, to borrow a term from Dash, eggheads.

Still, even she could remember the name of the worlds in the heavens. She'd learned to associate them with the changing of the seasons, and any proper farmer would keep an eye on those.

She smiled a bit at Apollo, a star that glowed prominently when it came time to harvest grapes. To made a fine wine and to share with your friends and family. It was always a good omen to see, and never failed to cheer her up this time of year.

She then frowned as she looked at a certain star that seemed determined to steal Apollo's thunder-Bright, red, and always bringing forth an ominous feeling.

"Hmm... Mars is high t'night," Granny Smith commented, as she looked out onto the porch. Applejack started and looked over at her grandmother. Granny Smith smiled at her, wrapped in a warm shawl.

"Yeah, guess he is," Applejack said flatly. Granny Smith shook her head.

"What you got against Mars??"

"No, but he sure has a habit o' coming up when it's happenin'," Applejack snorted, the wounds from the recent Changeling invasion healed only on the outside. Granny chuckled.

"Ah, he just looks down on it. Ain't like he got a say in it..." Granny smiled. "Ya know, you can just speak t' me if you'll be wantin' to."

"You can find out any time, you know that," Applejack chided her grandmother gently. Granny Smith laughed.

"So ah can! So... Ah'll be waitin' inside..." She turned and trotted back in, the door closing behind her. Applejack smiled and turned back to Mars. She glared a bit and huffed.

"Maybe it ain't yer fault," she huffed. "You don't have to laugh about it..."

The red star seemed to grow brighter above Applejack, and the farmer blinked. She saw a streak erupt from the star, and zip down to the ground.

"Shootin' star? Huh, wonder if Twilight's watchin'," Applejack laughed. The shooting star grew larger and larger, and Applejack gasped. A roar like that of a train screamed over the farm, and Applejack covered her head with her hooves.

The ground shook and thunder boomed as something struck the ground, and Applejack was thrown to the porch.

"Oof!" She got up slowly, shook her head, and looked out over into the apple groves. Her eyes widened as she saw the glow of flames and a tower of smoke billowing over the trees.

"AH!" Granny Smith gasped as she came out. "AHH! IT'S A DRAGON! A DRAGON IS ATTACKING! AHHH!" The old lady rushed back inside. "SOUND THE ALARM! GET THE FIRE BRIGADES! CANNONS! AHHHH!"

"Hang on Granny! Calm down!" Applejack told her grandmother, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. "Calm! We don't know what this is! Let's be calm, all right?"

"Ahh! Ahh! R-Right, right," Granny said with a nod. "... Can ah still get out the cannon?"

"... Yeah, you probably should," Applejack said with a nod.

Applejack got out into the grove of trees, spying the flames burning in the center of a crater the size of the pigpen. She bore a water bucket in her strong jaws, and swung it to expertly cast water over the flames as they licked up the trunk of a fallen tree.

"Tarnation, must've been a fallin' star," Applejack growled as the flames were only briefly delayed. They resumed their climb over the grove. "We gotta get the fire brigade out here to take care o'-!"

The flames stopped their advance, and retreated like water flowing over rocks. Applejack dropped her bucket in shock as the flames spiraled down, down inside the crater. Smoke and silence were all that was left, and Applejack waited a moment, before she girded her courage and looked down into the hole.

In the bottom of the crater was a pony, curled up like a newborn foal. His coat was a burnt gray, the color of charcoal, and his mane was as red as flame. He slowly got up, legs shaking unsteadily. He groaned and stretched out wings on his back, and shook his messy mane out. Atop his head stood what looked like two horns, but when they twitched Applejack saw they were more like the eyes on a snail.

"What in the name of Celestia's fetlocks...?" Applejack gasped. The pony opened his eyes and looked up at Applejack. He bore a scar across his right eye, the color of coal. He then smiled.

"Hey... Hey! You a mare, or a stallion?"

"Uh... Mare?" She said. He spun his head around his neck.

"Turn around?" He asked. Applejack blinked, shrugged... Turned around... She felt a smack across her flanks and she instinctively kicked a hoof out. She caught the jaw of the stallion and sent him back down into the crater.

"Ah! Hey! You all right?" She called again. The stallion laughed, a throaty, deep sound.

"Ahahahaha! Fine on both ends, and a fighter? Equestria has not changed too much!" The stallion got up and grinned.

"... Who are you?" Applejack asked.

"Permit me to introduce myself," the stallion said happily. "I am Ares! Master of Mars! Lord over the Red Deserts..." He rocked his jaw. "... And I have an achy jaw."

Applejack stared in some disbelief.

"... Well that's entirely yer fault, ain't it?"

"Guess so! Well met, wench!" Ares returned.

Prince Ares of Mars, Lord of War, and owner of the Stallionest Beard for several centuries running, found himself a bit perplexed by the behavior of this Earth mare.

"I do not require any assistance," Ares boomed. Applejack glowered down at him as she tugged on the rope she had thrown down to him.

"Well, can ya fly out, Beardy?"

"That's Your Majesty, or Ares, or 'Yes, yes, more please,'" Ares corrected.

"Ya'll don't really expect me to call you that? Fer all I know, yer just a loony!" Applejack cried. Ares glowered.

"A loony? I fell out of the sky! I have wings and horns!"

"You've got antenna!" Applejack cried. "Fer all ah know, yer an alien invader like them Changelings!"

Ares growled, and stomped down a hoof onto the ground. He snorted, smoke pouring from his nostrils as his mane and beard flared in his rage. Applejack fell over, nearly losing her hat in the process.

"CHANGELINGS?! CHANGELINGS?! I hate all Changelings and will send them to the fiery doom of Tartarus for every last crime committed against my world and my ponies!" Ares snarled. "I will crush them, burn them and then CRUSH AND BURN THEM AGAIN UNTIL THEY CAN NO LONGER BE CRUSHED AND OR BURNED!"

Applejack blinked several times. She slowly put her hat back on her head. Ares blinked back, and huffed.

"It is a matter I am intensely passionate about!" Ares growled.

Applejack slowly nodded. "Ah can see that..." She sighed. "Well! Can you fly or not?"

"Not yet. I am not sufficiently recovered from my flight from Mars," Ares said. Applejack nodded.

"Well then... Hang on!"

Ares nodded and gripped the rope with his teeth. "Ready!"

Applejack pulled back and yanked on the rope as hard as she could. She yanked him up to the top of the crater. Ares pulled himself up, stretching his wings with a groan. He shook out his mane and beard with a smile.

"Thank you, fair wench!"

"Fair wench?!" Applejack growled.

"Would you prefer hot wench?" Ares asked. Applejack glowered. "Well how do I know what kind of adjective you prefer? How much have you marefolk changed?!"

Before Applejack could speak, there was a deafening boom and Ares was blasted back into the crater. Applejack gasped as she looked over at Granny Smith, standing behind her cannon.

"Got 'im! Back to Tartarus with you, ya heathen!" Granny cackled. Applejack gulped.

"G-Granny Smith... That wasn't..."

"HA! Die, you alien scum bag!" Granny laughed. "Been a while since ah had to fend off evil invaders, but ah've still got it!"

"No, no, no, that was-!"

"MARE...!" Snarled Ares as he rose from the crater with unholy flames billowing from his mane and beard. Granny stared up at him as Applejack removed her hat.

"N-Now mah Lord..."

Ares broke into booming laughter. "Hahahahahaha! Yes, yes! Truly, things have not changed that much! I admire your fire, old mare! Were you a bit younger, I would mount you like a stallion ought a mare!"

Granny Smith blushed, and held a hoof over her red cheek. "Oh ho ho... W-Well, oh my... Sure you wouldn't want a more... Experienced mare?"

"GRANNY!" Applejack cried, affronted. Granny Smith shrugged.

"What? Oh fine, he's all yers."

"GRANNY!" Applejack shrieked again. Just once didn't seem enough.

Applejack opened the door to the farmhouse and trotted in. Ares followed, looking this way and that.

"Er... Well yer Majesty, I hope this is to yer likin'?" Applejack asked. Ares grinned.

"Ha! It is fantastic! A warm, homey kitchen! Like many a tavern I have frequented!" He trotted up to the table and slammed his hooves down on it with a loud bang. Applejack (and Granny Smith) both jumped. "WENCH! I will have your finest rum!"

"We ain't got rum! And I'm not a wench!" Applejack growled.

"Then give me a beverage! Your finest!" Ares growled as he slammed his hooves down onto the table again. Granny giggled.

"Come on Applejack! Serve our handsome guest!" The old nag trotted off, bustling around in the kitchen. Applejack sighed as she went to the refrigerator, rummaging around inside. She pulled out a jug of their cider, and hoofed it over to Ares. The god took it in a telekinetic grip, and took a long pull off the beverage.

"Glug... Glug... Glug..." Ares put down the jug and wiped his lips with a hoof. He nodded happily. "EXCELLENT!" He threw the jug down, smashing it apart.

"Ah! Hey!" Applejack cried.

"I demand MORE!" Ares bellowed. Applejack glared.

"Not with that attitude!"

"Very well! I demand more, wench!" Ares cried.

"I ain't yer wench, yer Highness!"

"Maid then?" Ares asked.

"No."

"Mare?" The god asked. Applejack scowled.

"Applejack! That is mah name, Applejack!"

"Mare, a god does not address anypony by name who has not earned it," Ares growled back. Applejack's eyebrows twitched.

"You sayin' you don't respect me enough to call me properly?!"

"That is what I said, yes. Are you hard of hearing, Mare?" Ares asked imperiously. "Perhaps you should take off that ridiculous hat to improve your-"

Applejack growled, swung around, and bucked the alicorn right in the face and sent him flying through the window.

"Nopony but nopony insults mah hat!" Applejack growled.

Ares popped up again, a feral grin on his face. His aura flared.

"That's more like it! A warrior mare! Come, fight! Release your passions upon me!" Ares growled. Applejack took a deep breath.

"Now let's not be hasty-"

"Your hat is as pathetic as your apple growing skills!"

"THAT'S IT!"

And Ares smiled brightly as he was bucked through a nearby boulder. He'd found his future bride... Well, concubine at least.

Granny Smith, smiling happily, went to check out her old wedding dress. She was sure Applejack would look beautiful in it...

Applejack groaned as she slowly awakened. She had a headache the size of a boulder, and she rubbed the top of her head.

Is it worth it to open mah eyes...? She thought. Oh what the buck...

She did so. She winced immediately at the brightness of the sunlight.

"Wait... Sunlight?!" She gasped. "Ah woke up too late!"

"Oooh... My mighty head throbs!" Ares groaned next to her. Applejack yelped and jumped up, bumping into the kitchen counter. She blinked the grogginess out of her eyes and took in the disaster that was her home. Her eyes widened.

"AH!" She cried. "WHAT IN TARNATION-?!"

"Well I felt a mighty hunger after we fought, so we made some cakes. Then I complimented you on your finely toned flanks, and you hit me! And thus, did we spar again," Ares said, grinning as he adjusted Applejack's hat atop his head. "Then you demonstrated how you could spin on your nose, I could not resist the urge to smack your flanks! Then we fought again!" Ares threw his hooves up into the air with a bright grin.

"TRULY, THIS IS A GLORIOUS RETURN TO EQUESTRIA!"

"YEAH!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

"Pinkie Pie? Why are you here?" Applejack asked. Pinkie Pie shrugged.

"My party senses tingled."

"... What," Applejack said dryly. Ares laughed happily, and patted Pinkie Pie on the back.

"Another feisty Earth wench! Wonderful!"

"Eeyup."

"... Big Mac, why are you on the ceiling?" Applejack asked dully.

"Don't rightly know," he said. "But it was pretty awesome."

"Hey!" Pinkie Pie said, affronted, "defying physics is my shtick! Go get your own!"

"Sorry."

Applejack sighed.

"Okay, I think it's time to call the princesses," she said.

"Celestia! Luna!" Ares greeted his sisters happily. He hugged both mightily around the withers, hugs both returned happily. Though Celestia had a bemused smile on her face.

"Brother! Tis good to see you again!" Luna said cheerfully.

"Yes, it has been so long!" Celestia said.

"It has been a bore on Mars all this time!" Ares lamented. "I haven't had a good fight in ages!" He grinned toothily. "Well, not without having to hold back."

Luna sighed and shook her head. "Thou could never resist plunging into battle."

"But now that I've found an equal match again," Ares said, his grin and power both growing. Celestia coughed.

"Oh my. I would love to fight you until we were both a shambles and the lands around us were reduced to ruin, but uh... I can't."

"What? Why not?" Ares asked, disappointed.

"I have... A thing," Celestia said. She then grabbed Luna with her magic. "Luna though is available!"

"What?! I am n-MMPH!" Luna's mouth was shut with magic as Celestia smiled cheerfully.

"She's a bit rusty, really, and could use your style of... Recreation to get back into fighting shape," the sun princess went on.

Ares grinned. "Great!" He powered up, his antenna crackling with energy. "Now... FINAL FLA-!"

"But! You must do it far away from any populated centers," Celestia said. Ares grimaced, but nodded and withdrew his incredible power back into himself.

"Very well."

"Good! Have fun you two!" Celestia said, throwing Luna through the window at supersonic speeds. Over the loud sonic booms those with keen ears could make out her yells.

"CELESTIA YOU BUCKING TRAITOR I'LL GET YOU FOR THISSSSSSS..."

"Huzzah! Just like old times!" Ares cried, flying after his sister. Celestia chuckled.

"Oh my, yes..."

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had flown out in response to sounds of thunder and flashes of light coming from the far side of the Everfree Forest. Dash had gone in her role as weather officer, and Fluttershy had gone out of worry for any animals caught in whatever was going on. When the two pegasi broke over the trees, they spotted the source of the disturbances: The Ghastly Gorge.

"Oh my... The gorge..." Fluttershy gasped. "Is... Is it my imagination, or is it... Um... Bigger?"

A massive energy blast erupted from within the gorge, rocketing into the sky and blowing boulders and chunks of rock the size of wagons high into the air. Dash gaped.

"It... It is now!" Dash said. Her eyes narrowed. "Come on Fluttershy!" She dove fast, Fluttershy reluctantly following behind.

They sailed over the lip of the gorge, searching down on the floor of the canyon. Fluttershy held her hooves over her mouth.

"Oh... Oh my, oh my," she mumbled. Dash spotted two light sources, and swooped down for a closer look.

"Is that... Princess Luna?" Dash asked. "Who is that guy?"

"I don't know! He looks like an alicorn but..." Fluttershy was cut off as Luna's aura flared. The princess's booming voice filled the canyon.

"TEMPEST FUGUE!"

A huge stream of lightning bolts left Luna's body and struck her opponent, and in combination with the booms of thunder it sounded like a dramatic theme played with a thunderstorm. The other alicorn was blasted into the wall of the gorge, and then right on through the ground above it. He slammed into a tree, still.

"What the hay?!" Dash gasped in disbelief. "Fluttershy! Check him out!" Dash dove down and came into a hover in front of Princess Luna. The princess of the moon was gasping for breath, looking quite exhausted.

"Your Highness! What's going on?" Dash demanded.

"Ah?" Luna asked. She smiled. "Oh... Nothing much... Haa... Just reconnecting with my... Haa... Brother..."

"Your brother?" Dash asked.

"Yes... Haa..."

"... So you blasted him through a canyon wall," Dash said slowly. Luna smiled.

"Ah... A single foal, I presume...?"

"Oh sir... Sir? Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked. Ares groaned and sat up. He rolled his neck, popping it. He then laughed, making Fluttershy stare.

"Uh, sir? Sir? Maybe you should lie down-"

"Hahahahaha! My sister still packs a wallop!" The alicorn laughed. "Ah, a great fight indeed! Puts me in the mood for wine and wenches!" He looked over at Fluttershy with a broad grin, his broad wing wrapping around her. "I now have half of what I need for a good time!"

"Eep!" Fluttershy blushed deeply. "O-Oh my, um, sir, I-I don't think, ah, this is appropriate-"

"Are you married?" Ares asked.

"Well no-"

"Do you have a stallion who would fight me for you?" Ares asked again.

"N-Not that I know of-"

"Do you find me..." And here Ares threw back his head and smiled as his beard and mane flared, "unseemly?"

Fluttershy's blush grew. That was answer enough.

"... So wait, you have names for your spells?" Twilight Sparkle asked as she and Princess Celestia trotted on a path nearby the Everfree Forest. Her mentor had made an unexpected visit and Twilight had happily taken the opportunity to go on a walk with her. Celestia nodded.

"Mm, not all of them. Frankly most of them don't, really. If I had to name them right now, off hoof, they'd be boring names like 'Solar Bolt', 'Multi-Target Solar Bolt', 'Larger Solar Bolt', 'Wide-Angle Solar Blast', 'Quick-Firing Solar Beams', and 'Don't Ever Fire This One In A Built-Up Area Solar Burst," the princess smiled wryly. "After the first few centuries you get to where you simply start mentally cataloging your magic in utilitarian terms..."

"UMBRA CONCERTO!"

A maelstrom of dark energy blasted into the sky, scattering birds into the air squawking wildly. Twilight gaped and Celestia sighed.

"Most of the time," Celestia allowed. A few moments later, a contrite Luna flew out of the trees.

"Oh! Princess Luna!" Twilight said, bowing. Celestia gave her younger sibling a smile.

"Doing a bit of practice for Ares?"

"Well, I haven't added many new spells to my repertoire for a while," Luna said with a blush. "I mean, I got him with Tempest Fugue, but my Fantasia was almost totally ineffective and the Noctis Irae was overkill..."

"Ah? Musical terms?" Twilight asked, tilting her head. "Your attacks are all musical terms?"

"Yes... What's wrong with that?" Luna asked.

"N-Nothing!" Twilight said quickly. "It's just, uh... Unexpected..."

"Where is Ares? I would like him to meet Twilight," Celestia said. Luna stared at her.

"... Really," she said flatly. Celestia smiled impishly. Luna sighed.

"He took off with Fluttershy last night. I was about to check on her residence. It lies over yonder hill!"

"Wait, he went off with Fluttershy?" Twilight asked as she and the two goddesses trotted over the hill. Fluttershy's cottage was soon in sight. "Why?"

Luna coughed. "Er, well..."

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" A voice bellowed from within the house, loud enough to make the ground rumble. Twilight, Celestia and Luna all froze. The front door of the cottage opened. Ares trotted out with a broad smile on his face. He looked back over his shoulder at the door, where Fluttershy slowly hovered. She was smiling dreamily.

"Take care, Fluttershy! I shall return to you in due time!" Ares said loudly.

"P-Please do," Fluttershy purred, sighing with a blissful smile on her face. Ares turned and grinned at the flabbergasted Twilight, the smirking Luna, and the groaning Celestia.

"Sisters! You have brought your young pupil!" Ares eyed her up and down. "Hmmm... Looks strong, and hot. Tell me Twilight Sparkle, are you married?"

"Ares," Fluttershy said, with a hint of steel. The god looked over his shoulder with a cough and a smile.

"A jest only, my dear wench!"

Fluttershy nodded in satisfaction. "Good..."

"Let us get to know one another better!" Ares said dramatically, grinning broadly again at his siblings.

Twilight finally managed to speak.

"... What kind of attack was-"

"No," Celestia said.

"But I-"

"No."

"But-!"

"Nooooo!"

Luna could only smirk, as Fluttershy sighed once more.

In the library, Twilight Sparkle was doing some research into the newly arrived Prince when she felt a swat across her backside.

"Eep!" She jumped, and spun around with red cheeks. Said object of her studies was standing there with a smile.

"Twilight Sparkle! I must commend you on your shapely rump! Tis a bottom stallions would die for!" He cried dramatically. This did not help Twilight's blush at all, quite the opposite.

"I-It-Th-Thanks... But you really, really shouldn't do that!" Twilight said angrily. Ares blinked.

"Why not?"

"It's impolite, for one!" Twilight said angrily.

"How is it impolite?" Ares asked, mystified. "I am complimenting you!"

"Then compliment me with your words, not... Not smacking my bottom!" Twilight said. Ares frowned.

"Are there any situations wherein I might smack the bottom of a mare I find comely?"

"Only if she's okay with it!" Twilight insisted. "And only in private!"

Ares hummed, scratching his head.

"So... I should merely tell you that you have a most comely bottom?"

"Yes!" Twilight said. "I-I mean no!"

"No? Yes? Make up your mind, mare!" Ares said angrily. "Mine intentions were nothing but pure! Appreciation of your form!"

"Yeah, but-but mares don't want to just be appreciated for that!" Twilight explained. "You have to use tact!"

Ares blinked.

"But that is all I know of you at this moment, save that you are Celestia's apprentice! Would it not be more honest to compliment you on what I know of you rather than compliment you falsely?"

Twilight blinked rapidly, her eyebrow twitching. She groaned.

"I... It... Yes... I guess... But it's not what we do!"

Ares growled, pounding his hooves into the floor. "Your world confuses me!"

"I know, I know!" Twilight said, holding up a hoof. "But it's just how you have to operate now! You don't compliment mares on their... Bottoms... Without establishing a rapport. You save that only for mares you're close to!"

Ares hummed and scratched his chin. "I see... Take me among the ponies, Twilight Sparkle! I wish to test this... Tact for myself!"

Despite the growing feeling of dread inside her, Twilight nodded and agreed. "All right... How about we visit my friend Pinkie Pie?"

"Pinkie Pie?" Ares asked with a frown.

"She's a baker, and party planner," Twilight said with a smile. And very hard to offend, she added to herself.

"Verily! I hunger for bread and cake!" Ares said, slamming a hoof down on the floor loud enough to make Twilight jump. "Take me to this Pinkie Pie, so that I might test this tact!"

"Certainly!"

Sugar Cube Corner was thankfully empty of customers when Twilight and Ares trotted in. The prince had gotten many looks from the ponies around, but his fierce smile had kept them away much to the prince's consternation.

"Does nopony smile on this world?" He complained.

"Well, um... You are a bit intimidating, Prince Ares," Twilight explained. Ares grinned again.

"Good."

"Hello!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully as she popped up from behind the counter. "Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner and-Woah!" She stared in amazement.

"Greetings, baking wench-!"

"A-hem," Twilight said, glaring at him. Ares grumbled, and tried again.

"Greetings, Pinkie Pie! I am Prince Ares of Mars! I have a mighty hunger that you will satisfy!" He slammed his hoof down on the floor, making the building shake. At another glare from Twilight, the prince added "Please."

"Oh, well, sure!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. She brought out a platter of cakes, pies, cookies and other baked goods. "This is the Deluxe Pinkie Pie Sugar Death Special! Enjoy!"

Ares hummed thoughtfully, before dumping the whole plate into his mouth and gobbling it down-The plate included. Twilight's jaw hit the floor, as did Pinkie's, as the prince noisily chewed the remains and swallowed. He hummed and then grinned.

"Excellent!" Ares boomed. "Pinkie Pie, your skills as a baker are exceptional!"

Pinkie Pie smiled cheerfully. "Wow, thanks! So are yours! I've never eaten a whole platter at once before! Well except for that one time but I learned my lesson in the emergency room let me tell you!"

Twilight smiled, allowing herself to relax...

"And your bottom is among the curviest rears my eyes have ever seen!" Ares said.

... Until that. Twilight's head dipped in mortification.

"... Thanks! I like your bottom too!" Pinkie returned, a bit uncertainly but still smiling.

Twilight sighed.

Ares wolfed down plates of food and mugs of hard cider as fast as they were served. Pinkie Pie, out of sheer determination, was matching him plate for plate with narrowed eyes. The rest of the Elements of Harmony were gathered in the Sugar Shack as well. After all, it wasn't every day that a demi-god from another world showed up in Ponyville.

Well, one that wasn't burning down the entire town.

"You'd think a god would have better table manners, ugh," Rarity murmured softly to Twilight as she and the other holders of the Elements watched the spectacle going on at Pinkie's table. Twilight smiled a bit nervously at her friends, and turned to the Prince of Mars.

"Ah, so Your Highness, you never did say what brought you to Earth..."

"Hrm?" Ares paused in his eating, and burped loudly. He patted his stomach and grinned. His eyes partially averted though. "I heard you'd had some good battles lately, and I wanted to be part of them!"

"Eh? You came here to fight?" Rainbow Dash asked incredulously.

"Of course! Mettle against mettle, might against might, brain against brain!" Ares said, slamming a hoof down. "To see your enemies driven before you, to hear the lamentations of their loved ones! THAT is what is best in life!" He looked over at Fluttershy, who had not been able to stop smiling since last night.

"Well... Second best," he said, raising a mug to Fluttershy. The pegasus giggled again, and Applejack fought down an intense burst of jealousy.

"Well we don't resolve our problems like that anymore," Rarity sniffed. "Indeed, when Equestria was founded it was on bonds of friendship!"

"And yet, do you not compete? Strain to be the best, the mightiest?" Ares asked. "Is there not risk in pushing yourself to be fastest, strongest?"

"Ya know, he has a point," Dash said. Applejack nodded, a bit reluctantly.

"Twas no different in my day, when I lived upon this globe myself!" Ares boomed.

"Eh? You lived in Equestria too?" Twilight asked, interested. Ares nodded.

"Indeed! I had been granted Mars as my dominion, but I had not yet proved myself to its inhabitants that I was worthy to be their Prince! And so I trained with my sisters. Each had gained a mentor: Starswirl the Bearded, that ancient wizard, was Celestia's. And Luna's was Helieger Scaro."

"You're kidding!" Twilight blurted out.

"Who was Helieger Scaro?" Fluttershy asked.

"Only the most bloodthirsty conqueror of the Griffin Kingdoms!" Twilight gasped. "He taught Luna?!"

"Somehow not that surprising," Dash muttered. Ares laughed.

"In her, he found the daughter he never had... Though his training of her was a bit brutal even by my standards."

"How brutal?" Twilight asked.

"Well..."

Thousands of years ago...

Ares was balancing on his nose on a stack of rocks, grunting in exertion as he maintained his poise without the use of magic. Starswirl had instructed him to do this to become stronger, and by Faust he'd do it forever if he had to!

"AIEEEEEE!"

BOOM!

"AH!" Ares fell over, slamming into the hard ground of the praire. He groaned and stood up, and looked over at a new crater in his training grounds. He scowled as he sensed the energy of the pony within it.

"Luna? Are you all right?"

Luna was the youngest and smallest of the siblings, a mere filly. She pulled herself out of the crater with a whimper, and stood on shaky legs. She was bruised, but otherwise uninjured. Ares frowned all the same.

"Luna?"

"I... I'm fine," she said weakly. "Helieger is training me."

Ares' frown deepened. "Oh? What is his method?"

"Well, it's-"

A huge silver and gold griffin appeared, moving so fast neither of the alicorns had seen him. He glared down at Luna, who nevertheless smiled up at him.

"Hello Master Heliger! How'd I do that-"

"DODDDDDGE!" Helieger bellowed as he breathed a fireball into Luna's face.

"KIYYAAAHHHH!"

Ares blinked, and shivered. He was glad he wasn't Helieger's pupil...

"Oooh..." Pinkie Pie groaned, sitting back from the table with her belly comically large. She burped, and rested her hooves on her stomach with a moan. "Too... Much..."

Ares was staring in amazement. "Pinkie Pie, you are a bottomless pit!"

"Thanks," Pinkie moaned. "Ohhh... I've got such an achy-breaky-stomachy... Hee, stomachy! Stomachy!"

"Fascinatin'," Applejack said wryly. She turned to Twilight to ask her to help roll their bloated friend upstairs, given the lengthening shadows, but she found only empty space.

"So Prince Ares, what else can you tell me about the Princesses back then?"

Applejack sighed and looked back at Ares. The prince was grinning again at Twilight, and Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy were clustered around him as well, eager for another story. Fluttershy though seemed a bit more eager for something else.

And again, that strange spike of jealousy reared its head in her heart. She easily beat it down though.

"Celestia was the eldest, and a firebrand," Ares recounted. "As long as I could remember, she was the first to leap into action! To dive into adventure! We flew through the Chromatic Canyons, danced over the waves of the Emerald Sea, slid down the Mucklode Hills!" He grinned. "Well we did. Luna was shy, meek."

"Princess Luna?" Dash asked in disbelief. "Fluttershy?"

"H-Hey," Fluttershy said weakly.

"Still waters run deep, I suppose," Rarity surmised. "Celestia as a firebrand, hm... Not that surprising, I suppose."

"Huh? How do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"She is rather irreverent, after all," Applejack said as she trotted up to the table. "Like that whole Gala fiasco..."

"Celestia grew rather... Responsible as time went on, and more serious," Ares said, almost wistfully. "Luna grew more confident and more wild. Her mentor helped a great deal with that."

"And who taught you to be... You?" Dash asked. Ares grinned.

"Well..."

"Ares! Ares, wake up! Wake up!"

"Hrm...?" Ares slowly awoke from dreams of red sand and vast plains, to see his sisters above him. Celestia looked excited while Luna looked scared. "What is it?"

"Don't you sense it?" Celestia asked cheerfully. "There's something coming from Mars!"

"R-Really?" Ares asked. He extended his senses and indeed, he saw a shooting star headed for the ground. He took to the air, flying fast through the night sky.

"Wait for us!" Celestia shouted.

"Us?" Luna cried. "HEY!"

Celestia and a reluctant Luna soon caught up with their brother, and Ares zeroed in on the landing point. He came to a stop on a hill overlooking it, and Celestia and Luna joined him.

The shooting star appeared, growing bigger and bigger, before gaining a tail as it changed direction. It flew down, smashing into the plain below with a loud boom. Ares took off and flew down, Celestia right behind him.

"Wait! Wait, we should get Master Starswirl or Master Helieger!" Luna wailed.

"No time!" Ares said cheerfully. He slid to a halt just outside the fallen star, which now cooled in the small crater it had dug out. Celestia landed next to him, grinning.

"Oh wow, somepony from Mars! Who do you think it is?" Celestia asked. Ares huffed.

"No idea... I just raise the planet, I don't know anything about it," Ares grunted. Celestia blinked.

"Really? Nothing?"

Before Ares could answer, a hole opened in the side of the shooting star. A light poured out, and all three young ponies watched in awe as a visitor emerged.

The pony was tall, green and hairless save for a sleek black mane that hung down the back of his neck. His eyes were red, in stark contrast to Are's own deep blue. His ears were long and pointed, his nose sharp, and strangest of all atop his head were two antenna like those on a slug that twitched slightly. He bore grieves of an unusual metal that clinked as he stepped out of the fallen star.

He zeroed in on Ares, and snorted.

"Prince Ares, I presume?" He asked.

"That's me," Ares said. Celestia boldly stepped forward.

"I'm Princess Celestia!" She announced. "And that's Princess Luna."

"Uh, h-hi," Luna said, peeking out from behind a boulder. The Martian sniffed disdainfully.

"Children? You are to protect your worlds?" He demanded. Ares growled and powered up, his aura flaring.

"We can protect it just fine!" Ares shouted. The Martian smirked and his antenna glowed. Ares was thrown off his hooves and blasted into the side of a hill.

"Ares!" Luna shouted.

"You're gonna pay for that!" Celestia shouted as she fired off a Solar Bolt. The visitor dodged, and kicked her in the side. "AHHH!"

"Sister!" Luna cried as Celestia was punted into a tree. The Martian advanced on Luna, and the blue alicorn trembled in fright. "S-Stop! Stop please!"

"Bah, pitiful!" The Martian growled. "Too weak to even defend their world!"

"YAAAAHHHH!" Ares shot forth like a comet, zipping right for the Martian. The invader fired off a magic blast of his own, obscuring Ares in smoke. He smirked... And then Ares reappeared behind him, slamming his back hooves into his head.

"GAH!" The Martian bellowed, his face slammed into the dirt.

"Ares! Take Luna and get clear!" Celestia shouted. Ares swooped in and grabbed the frozen Luna, flapping hard just as a blast of solar energy erupted from the trees. The Martian, having just pulled his head out of the dirt, was engulfed by the blast. Ares set Luna down and flew back around with a grin at his sister.

"Great Celestia!" He crowed. "You really-!"

"LOOK OUT!" Celestia warned, but it was too late-Ares felt the hooves of the pony collide with his back and the force sent him crashing into the fallen star. Ares groaned and felt some paper on his nose. He pulled back and looked at it. His eyes widened in shock and his cheeks burned bright red as he saw... Pictures. Pictures of green Martian mares in... Provocative poses.

"What the...?"

The Martian landed behind him and laughed. "Good effort! But you lack discipline!" He snorted. "Your potential is pitiful! Your technique is flawed, your-!"

"LEAVE MY BROTHER AND SISTER ALONE!" Screamed Luna, as a massive shockwave erupted. Ares had pulled his head out of the pod just enough to get clear as an area-effect spell went off. The Martian was slammed back into his pod, and sent rolling into a tree. Ares stared in disbelief down at Luna, who looked quite shocked herself.

"L-Luna? What was that?" Celestia asked in disbelief.

"I-I'm sorry, I just lost my temper and then I-" Luna babbled, just as the Martian burst out of his pod in anger. He was barely scratched.

"Grrrrr...!" His eyes narrowed. "All right... You've got some potential. But that alone will not save you!" He glared at Ares especially. "You! You have done nothing for your world but lift and lower it! What have you to say for yourself?"

Ares glared down at the Martian... And then smirked.

"I think you're gonna train me," he said.

The Martian balked. He then laughed.

"Hahahaha! What makes you say thaaahhh?!" Ares was holding out the book of provocative pictures. "No, no! Put it down!"

"Uh uh uh," Ares said with a smirk, his horn glowing. "One wrong move and I'll tear it apart!"

"NO! You can't!" The Martian charged his antenna, but as he did Ares ignited flames in mid air. "AH! NO! DON'T!"

"Well? What's it gonna be?" Ares asked flatly. The Martian relented.

"Fine... I'll train you, brat... But you must tell me." And here the Martian looked deadly serious at Ares. "Are there hot mares on this planet?"

"Plenty!" Ares said, though not entirely sure what the martian meant. The Martian grinned as Celestia made a face and Luna looked confused.

"Perfect! I am now your instructor, the great Master..." And here the Martian posed dramatically, "J'onn Raiya of Mars!"

"I swear, I don't even know what's going on anymore," Celestia sighed.

"What's that funny book, Ares?"

"I'll tell you when you're older, Luna," Ares said confidently.

"But it has pictures of-"

"He'll tell you when you're OLDER!" Celestia shouted, covering Luna's eyes. Ares smirked. "Now let me see!"

"Eh?!" Ares gasped, as Celestia flew up next to him and grabbed the book. "Hey! I saw it first!"

"Let me see! Let me see!" Celestia shouted.

As the two siblings engaged in a tug of war, and Luna whined loudly that she wanted to see it too, J'onn Raiya sighed and shook his head.

"Equestrians," he muttered.

More to come. So stay tuned.