Insert creative title....here i guess....over there works just as well...

by humankiller2341

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Dark, Sad, Romance, Comedy
Length: 1955

Read the Long Description lazy peoples.

(I only put the Gore tag just in case :) no promises)

Trey, is a troubled teen who just graduated from high school when his life gets turned upside down (nooooo. he doesnt get sent to Equestria through a magical microwave silly goose. Well…..not yet ) he gains the ability to Polymorph through a process that i will not reveal as of yet ;).

Follow Trey, in his good ol' adventures to find Hope, Love, and the ever elusive perfect Chocolate Chip Cookie.

(Btw your eyes don't deceive you. There is a dark AND comedy tag here….oh yess)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-19 07:00:06 UTC

Chapter One (change this later.....bitch)

Chapter the One.

"Im sorry Trey. but.. im going to have to let you go." These fateful words emanated from the chapped lips of -my now former- boss and friend David.

"But!" I argued, vainly trying to save my job. "I haven't done anything wrong!" A truer statement had not been said since the infamous "Ouch!" from Sir Issac Newton. My job consisted of maintenance in the hotel three blocks from my apartment. A pretty cushy job if i do say so. "Why am i being fired?"

"Honestly its just that we found someone with more experience and is willing to work for less." David shrugged his shoulders. "Look man im really sorry about this, but we have a budget and cutting a little pay here and there is gonna make it easier on the company. You understand right?" His green eyes showed deep levels of compassion, but at that moment not a cell in my body cared.

"Ya. I get it." i deadpanned, blue eyes boring a hole in the floor between my shoes. Realizing that nothing i can say will keep my job i swiftly turned about face and walked straight out the front door, not before taking the plate full of cookies for the guests. Don't judge, if they are firing me for another guy to work for a couple bucks cheaper then im takin there damn cookies.

With soft cookie flesh being crushed by my teeth i drove the silent drive home, when suddenly a pitter patter like so many tiny bullets began to ping my windshield. "Of course it would start to hail just as i wanted to relax." Pulling the truck to the side of the road to avoid causing further damage, i picked up the last of the Chocolate Chip Cookies and slowly scrutinized it. "Why does the world betray me Cookie... you would never betray me, and i would never-" CRUNCH "-betray you......" with that i finished off the cookie and leaned my chair back. "Looks like this storm is gonna last a while, might as well take a na-"BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ "Why am i always getting interrupted?"

Pulling my phone from its usual place in my pocket, i flipped it open and saw a text from my girlfriend of 10 months. "Hmm wonder what this is about."

"Hey trey...listen i don't think we should see each other anymore, you never seem to have enough time for me. I think its best for us both if we just don't see each other anymore. Im so sorry"

My mind blanked. Before i could process what i had read the phone buzzed again.

"Trey, this is John." my land lord and constant enemy over little tidbit rules such as -no lights on after 4am it bothers the neighbors dog- " I hate to inform you of this but due to your recent rule breaking and the fact that others have been offering more for the room than you pay. im going to have to evict you. You have 3 days to pack."

I calmly closed the phone and sat my chair up. Ignoring the damage to my truck i drove straight to my apartment, the hailstones pinging my hood as if god himself wanted me dead.

The Highway turned to normal pavement then to dirt as the truck cascaded over the rocks and dust. I brought the behemoth to a stop just under the protective canopy of my....canopy...shut up.

I had mostly calmed my nerves with the drive, but seeing a combination of dents in my hood and eviction notice on my door struck a chord of anger so fierce it made the very sun itself look as a match to a bonfire.

Turning about i hurled the only object within reach -my crappy 2 dollar phone- as hard as i could into the wilderness near my apartment. "For FUCKS sake! what else can go wrong?!"

I spoke too soon for as quickly as the words left my mouth, each and every panel on my beautiful truck fell to the dirt. -Presumably residual damage from the hailstones-

"I....I dont even...fuck this." and without another word i stormed into the home and turned on the computer, determined to make the last few days of internet count.

"The hell is all these Bronies doing on youtube? Don't they know the internet is a place for manly men like me?"

"Are you sure he is the One, Alpha?" The Man in White spoke.

"Of course i am sure." The Man in Black retorted "When have i ever been wrong?" he said with a smug look.

"Vegas." The first simply stated, matching his smug look.

"......Shut up"

A/N

sooooooo what do you guys think? this is my first real fanfic that i plan to follow through on :D contructive critisizm (<--- fuck that word and fuck my illiterateness...fuck that word too) is encouraged!

Chapter the second

Chapter the Second

I awoke to the delightful sound of the ever annoying blare of my alarm clock. I automatically swung my right hand to hit the large red button to silence the electronic devil.

CRUNCH

"The hell?" i turn my sleepy eyes to look at the -now remains- of my clock. "....Thats.....interesting..." My thoughts strayed to my current financial issue. "Dammit im gonna have to buy a new one.... fuck my life" I rose from the warm embrace of my bed and walked to my closet. On the way there i passed my full length mirror and froze. Backing up like a bunny that just saw a ferocious fox i went back to the mirror and looked into it. The person staring back was not me.

Sure they had the basic features. Blue eyes, short brown hair, winning smile.....ok maybe im lying there. But the rest of this stranger was all wrong, the belly fat that i had become accustomed to and the fat pretty much all over my body had gone leaving behind muscles that looked as though i had been exercising all my life.

"Wha-...ok ok ok um, i can deal with this right?" My breathing came in pants, my hands clammy. I sat down and thought back to yesterday, but nothing came to mind.

So knowing that something supernatural happened to me, i did what any rational person would do.

Screamed.

"WHAT THE FUUUUU-"

"Shut up! Ruining my damn dramatic entrance..." I whipped my head around to find the source of this new voice. Standing in my bedroom door was a man dressed in complete black suit, with a white tie. "Now if you would kindly stop screaming like a little girl who just saw the boogeyman."

"UUUUUUUUuuuuuuu.......ok.. wait who are you? why are you in my house?" I normally would be freaking out about a stranger in my house, but when your body shifts into a different weight class, little things such as B&E don't really matter.

"I am known as Alpha. I am in your..uh...." Alpha glances around at the empty pizza boxes and smashed Mountain Dew cans. "...Humble Abode because i have a need for you."

"Whoa man look i got no problem with people that like the same sex but i prefer the vah j j."

Alpha sighs heavily "No you imbecile! I need your help. But we cant talk here, we need to be somewhere safer"

"what do you mean safer? Like a safe-house? And who would we need to be safe from?"

"All will be explained. Please follow me." He gestured to my full length mirror.

"My mirror?" Ok this guy is bat-crap crazy. I slowly began to reach into my pocket for my cell phone when it got ripped from my grip into his outstretched hand.

"Now now, we cant have the police involved in this debacle." The phone dissipated into a cloud of rainbow smoke. He then adopted a stern look. "if you please?" He 'kindly' grabbed me by the nape of my neck and threw me into the mirror. I braced for impact only, there was none. I opened my eyes and looked around to see that i was in a plush office seated upon a too comfortable red velvet chair. Across the dark oak wood desk was a black leather chair with that guy in it.

"What the hell man?!?" I was honestly pissed and confused at this point that i was almost at the breaking point.

"Please be calm Trey. I only mean the best for-" Alpha started before my rude interruption.

"Best for me?! You kidnapped me and threw me into some other universe or something through my own mirror because you-" i put up air quotes " 'need me'. Well i want answers you crazy son of a whore monger!" At the end of my montage i was panting in anger, the events of the the past 10 minuets hitting me all at once.

"...Im sorry. But your right. you deserve answers. Firstly I specifically don't need you. The world of Equestria needs you. Secondly-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, who and what is Equestria?"

"Please leave all questions until the end of the tour. Now as i was saying, Equestria needs someone like you. No offense but we need someone with nothing to lose, with being fired, evicted and being dumped by your girlfriend...you seemed like the perfect candidate for a savior of sorts."

"A savior? Now why would i want to help save some world that i have no connection to?" i had no belief that i had anything to do with this world so in my mind i had no obligation to save it.

"Because Equestria will give you the things you never could have in your world. A solid home, family, friends. Im giving you a chance to start over, to start a new life where no one knows who you are. Its ultimately your choice." Alpha leaned back in his chair giving me time to think about this.

"Before i decide, why does this 'Equestria' need my help."

"As i said before, they need a savior. Someone who wasn't raised there and can make unbiased decisions. Equestria has been in a stalemate with their problem for 7 years now, normally our code dictates that we cannot directly intervene with the problems of the world we watch over, so to keep protocol i needed to find an outside source. Specifically You."

That did not answer my question and i said as such. His response was as expected.

"I cannot reveal anything to you with out disturbing the balance. I know i am not being specific about anything but surely you would not let an entire planet die when you could have done something? To watch from afar children being taken from their parents and brutally murdered, families torn by death, famine and fear?"

Dammit he had me and he knew it. "-sigh- fine....what do i need to do?"

Alpha warmly smiled. "Good, here is what you need to know."

Alpha went into a long tirade that i don't feel like completely writing down here. To paraphrase i am to help these "Ponies" in releasing their world from something that he would not mention. I am not to say who i am, where i come from, or why im there.

Alpha clapped his hands together with a grin. "Now that we have that out of the way its time to send you on your way."

"By way of...?" I really didn't like that grin it scared me, that's the grin of someone who forces a child onto a roller coaster telling them all the while that its gonna be 'fun'.

"By way of Drop Pod of course!"

Oh fuck me.