The breeze is warm today.
You can't help as a smile slowly curves your lips, your muscles acting almost involuntarily. You take a deep, deliberate breath through your nose and let it out slowly. You swear that you can almost smell autumn in the air. You have always loved autumn, the food, the traditions, the holidays, all the family gatheri-
As you try to picture your family together, you can feel your happiness begin to falter. Like a balloon with a slow leak, your smile begins to fade. You haven't seen your family in long time... You can hardly remember their faces anymore, or what their laughs were like, even their voices have faded. All of these memories aren't totally gone though, all of it is there, in your head. But when you try to remember anything specific, you feel like you are looking through a dense haze. They are right there, so close, yet they are muddied. What you believe once were your old friend's and family's faces, look as if they were drawn in charcoal then quickly smeared around, causing them to lose their shape and unique features. You can still count the faces, but any distinguishing features are lost through the haze.
You tried for so long to think about them every day, promising yourself to never forget them. But time wore on, days turned to weeks which quickly became months. You try not to keep an exact count, you did at first of course, but you quickly felt like you were on some deserted island counting your days until escape. Once you found out that there was no knowledge in this entire land about how to send you home, you gave up counting the days.
“Damn.” you think to yourself. You had almost made it a full week without thinking of them, and in turn depressing yourself. Realizing this only worsened your mood. You hadn't even noticed that your smile had all but vanished, leaving naught but a small frown in its place.
“Y’alright there sugarcube?”
You quickly look to your side, seeking out the origin of the sudden voice. Standing a few feet away under the stretching shade of an apple tree was the orange mare who lived on the farm where you regularly worked.
“Oh, hey AJ. Yeah I'm doing fine. Just... enjoying the breeze.” You slowly turn your gaze back to the sky. You realize that you unintentionally added some disappointment to your last remark, but luckily Applejack didn't seem to notice.
“Yes sir, it is mighty fine out t'night.” Applejack closes her eyes and takes a deep breath just as you had earlier.
“You mind if I join yah Anon?” she asks cheerfully.
“Course not, go for it.” Your gaze remains on the sky as you idly watch clouds drift by.
You hear the grass rustle as Applejack lies down near you. “Ooooh Weeee. That was ah good day of harvest.” You hear her give a yawn, a stretch, and then finally settle back down in the grass to look at the sky.
For a few minutes you both remain silent. All you can hear is the rustling of leaves in the breeze and the occasional voice coming from the Apple family farmhouse just beyond the trees.
You once again begin to slide into your nirvana; watching the clouds slowly loft through the sky, not in any hurry or rush. You can admit to one thing, life certainly has a slower pace in Equestria. Besides the occasional disaster that required Ponyville's resident heroes, and the once-a-year cider season rush, working on Sweet Apple Acres was practically a dream come true.
You remember how difficult it was to find a job in your first days in Ponyville. It's not that anypony in the town resented or hated you, it was just that no one really had a clue what you could do to help. A lot of the vendors in the town made and sold their own goods. Everyone's “special talent” allowed them to provide a service extremely well and you just didn't have any qualifications to be useful. It didn't help that before living in Equestria you had spent almost eighty thousand dollars on a private college education in computer engineering. An education, while extremely marketable and valuable back on Earth, was rendered useless here.
When you first saw the standup machines that closely resembled arcade machines from earth you were excited, thinking some of your knowledge would be able to translate and be useful. However your hopes were quickly dashed after one look inside one of the machines. They were nothing but smoke and mirrors... Literally. The machines worked on magic, illusions, and eye trickery to display moving images and simulate something similar to video games back home.
Nevertheless, even without a job, you never did have to worry about starving. The citizens and rulers of this land were more than generous enough to keep you fed and sheltered. They understood your situation and didn't expect you to fend for yourself right away. That was yet another thing you admired about this land: everyone was so willing to help, so willing to give without any expectation of return. It was eye opening. You were given a small cottage outside of Ponyville and food was always available to you without question in any restaurant in the town. The bill was always just forwarded to Princess Celestia herself. All in all, you were living a pretty good life.
Still, you longed for some purpose, something to keep you occupied and useful. After being turned down politely and apologetically many times you started to lose hope. However, that all changed during your first cider season.
You can remember taking a stroll through the outskirts of town, eventually ending up near one of the many Apple family orchards. It must have been almost a year ago now...
You remember hearing a labored grunt followed by a loud crack nearby, as you stopped to listen you heard another louder grunt and following crack. Although you were almost certain what the loud cracks were, the intense grunts that preceded them worried you. You decided it would be best to investigate and offer any help you could give. After dodging between tree trunks and ducking under low branches you came to a small clearing between a group of trees. On the other side of the clearing was Applejack, the orange mare that you rarely saw outside the farm. Whenever you did see her out and about she was almost always with her friends, the other elements of harmony that Princess Celestia described to you in one of your many talks.
As you started to move into the clearing, you noticed that Applejack seemed frustrated, she was also panting slightly. Just as you were about to speak, Applejack raised her hind hoofs into the air, pulled them into her body like a spring and with a grunt, shot them back into the tree causing another loud crack like the ones you had heard earlier. You had to admit you would never want to be on the receiving end of such a kick, you don't even want to guess the number of bones she could break.
Although her buck hit hard and true, nothing happened. Applejack just stared silently up at the tops of the tree. Then, after a brief moment she let out a disappointed sigh and hung her head staring at the ground. “Dag nab-it...” She whispered to herself.
Coming back to reality after watching Applejack's display of power, you remembered why you were there. “Hey, Applejack?” you asked as you stepped into the clearing.
Applejack's head shot up as she turned to you, obviously surprised to see you there in the field. “Hey there... Uh...”
“Anon.” you offer.
“Oh yeah, tha's right. Anon. I don't mean tah sound rude, but what in tarnation are yah doin' out here?” She didn't seem upset or angry, just a little surprised.
“Well, I was walking around the edge of the farm and I heard some really loud noises. I wouldn't have believed they were you unless I saw you just now.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Why is that? Apple buckin' is pretty common round the farm.”
You shrug your shoulders a little, “That's true, but you also sounded a little distressed so I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
Applejack's expression softened and she gave a small nod. “Aw shucks, I'm fine. Just a little flustered is all. Nothing to worry about, ah do appreciate the concern though.” She didn't continue, you could tell she was trying to spare you the details.
Usually you would leave the conversation at that, wish Applejack a good day, and continue your walk, but for some reason you felt like staying a little longer. Suddenly your walk wasn't very appealing any more. Instead, you took a step forward and pushed a little farther. “Are you sure everything is all right?” you ask.
Applejack turned back to you, “Oh yeah, don't worry bout me. These trees are just being stubborn as usual” She looked back to the tops of the tree in front of her.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Thank you kindly for the offer, but I don't think yah can.” She pauses and after a moment, points her hoof to the tree. “Yah see those few apples up there?” she asks.
You look up and sure enough there are still some ripe red apples clinging to the tree. “Yeah.”
“Well every year we have at least ah few apples on every tree that don't get picked. They are just too stubborn for apple bucking. A long time ago we tried to employ some of Fluttershy's birds to pick em, but the smaller birds couldn't handle the apple’s weight and her large birds, like the falcons and eagles and such, would ruin the fruit anyway with their big claws.” She paused, “Then we tried to employ some pegasus ponies, but they were never consistent. Some days they could work for a few hours, and others they would be too busy with the weather tah work at all.”
Applejack looked off to her side like she was remembering something, “And then we also had that one day where a certain pegasus, who ah will not name! Managed tah destroy half of our southern field’s crop with an accidental hail storm...”
“We politely declined any help from pegasus ponies after that...” Applejack gave a nervous chuckle and kicked the dirt idly with her front hoof, seemingly still remembering the traumatic experience.
As if she could sense your next question, she continued, “Unicorns never were an option either, they all are so busy and proper. None of them fancy magic types have time to work any kind ah labor.” Silence followed as you both looked upwards at the elusive apples.
After a moment of looking up the tree you speak up, “I think I can get those.”
Applejack gives you a skeptical look. “I appreciate the offer Anon, ah really do. But unless you have some wings hidden in those clothes of yers, I don't see how yah could.”
“I don't need to fly, just watch.” You grab one of the empty wooden buckets sitting on the ground. “Do you mind if I borrow some rope?” you ask.
“Sure thing, I guess.” Applejack responds, her voice still laced with skepticism. She hands you her trusty lasso that was draped over the edge of her nearby apple-cart.
You quickly rig a makeshift strap for the bucket and proceed to put it over your head and hang it like a messenger bag over your shoulder. The apple trees in Equestria were small compared to the ones back home, so you easily grab one of the lower branches and pull yourself up. After a brief climb, you reach the middle of the tree. From here you begin to pluck apples from the branches and carefully place them in the bucket at your side. Some of the apples were pretty stubborn, but with a quick twist or two, the apple would easily pluck cleanly from its branch.
After picking the tree clean of all the red fruit you slowly make your way down to the first branch you grabbed to begin with and after one small drop, you were back on the ground. You present the bucket to Applejack whose mouth is slightly open as she examines your haul.
“Well dip me in molasses and roll me in oats...You got every last one of 'em! An not a single bruise or blemish at all!” Applejack is donning a full blown smile as she carefully moves the apples around with her hoof, looking at all the fruits individually.
Her smile is contagious as you can't help but smile yourself. You’re not a prideful man, but making her this happy has certainly given you a long needed boost. Applejack raises a hoof to her mouth and ponders for a moment.
“Anon, have you found yourself a job yet in Ponyville?”
You admit this question surprises you, “Well no I haven't... Nobody seems to think I could be of much help.”
Applejack ponders for another moment. “How would yah like to work on the farm? Yah could follow me and Big Mac around and do what you just did, but to all the trees.”
You let the idea sink into your brain. Your first thought is that this could be a golden opportunity to become useful again. Although it was completely irrelevant to your area of expertise, at this point you plum didn't care. Then again, would you miss the slow paced, no effort life that you had become accustomed to? Every day you did whatever you wanted and you were on nobody's schedule but your own. It was pretty nice...
After letting you think for a moment Applejack began again. “If yer worried about bits ah can pay you more than a fair wage. With the amount of time and rotten apples yah could save us, you will be more than worth having around!”
Applejack had said the magic word. Bits. You were not a greedy or money-hungry fellow at all, but the idea of finally becoming self-sufficient was a dream come true. Even though you were grateful to everyone for being so generous, you hated feeling like a charity case. Maybe you could finally find your place in this world. Even if it wasn't on Sweet Apple Acres, getting a savings going would undoubtedly help you in the long run.
With that, you were decided. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”
After agreeing to work on the farm, the rest, as they say, was history. The Apple family wasted no time putting you to use, beginning your work the following week. At first the work was difficult, your days were spent climbing trees and your evenings were spent soaking your sore muscles and icing your strained joints. You weren't able to keep the same pace as AJ or Big Mac, often finishing more than two hours after the apple-buckers in front of you.
This never stopped Applejack from staying with you though. Even when you insisted she go back and enjoy the rest of her day, she always refused. She would walk with you from tree to tree and chat about the current growing conditions or the latest weather reports.
You learned quickly from your chats that Applejack was truly an intelligent mare. You could tell that the other ponies in Ponyville took her for a simple farmer, but you knew otherwise. Applejack was nothing short of a farming guru; her knowledge of growing patterns, plant genealogy, and many other farming tactics, was matched by none.
“Anon?”
Applejack was even quite good with economics as well. Based on her experience and some observation, she could predict the demand of apples for any given season and plan market strategies accordingly.
“Anoooon?”
You had to admit, she was truly an amazing mare.
“Hey! Anon! Are yah still with me partner?”
You suddenly break out of the daze you were in. Quickly surveying your surroundings, you notice that the sun has fallen low in the sky. Applejack is still laying just a few feet from you, looking at you with slight worry in her eyes.
“Y’alright there? You must have been in quite the daydream.”
“Oh yeah I'm fine.” you assure her, “Just... enjoying the breeze.”
“Well, like ah said before, we did good t'day Anon. I still can't believe how much yer help has affected the farm. We've been able tah renovate the barn, repaint the farmhouse, all thanks to the extra bits we earned because of you.”
You can't help but blush a little “Oh you don’t ne-”
“No, lemme finish Anon.” Applejack sticks a hoof out in your direction, signaling you to be silent. “If yah won’t accept the extra bits you deserve, the least yah can do is let me talk. Please.”
Even though the Apple family has tried to increase your wage over the last few months, you have always declined; you had more than enough to get by. Not seeing an out, you have no choice but to relent. You give Applejack a nod. “Alright...”
Applejack gives you a small triumphant smile before continuing. “Now, I know you didn’t need to work for us. You had the easy life, but you still were more than willing to work and help us out.” Applejack turns to you, “Yer a hard worker Anon, you always have given your all to the farm and I respect that. You show the same love and dedication to the farm as anypony in the Apple family. And that means more to us than you know.” Applejack pauses for a moment, taking another deep breath. “Ever since you started workin' here things have never been better. Shoot. You are practically part of the family now.”
You smile a little at that. At first, the rest of the Apple family was apprehensive about your employment, but after seeing you in action, and seeing the farm's profits rise, they have done nothing short of accept you with open arms.
You have started to become fond of them as well. Granny Smith seems like a good grandmother, was your grandmother kind like her? Apple Bloom has always sort of reminded you a little of a sister you once had... Or maybe it was a niece. Big Mac’s strong but silent personality feels like it could be similar to one of your uncles...
Damn it. Damn it all. No matter what you do, you can't help but think about those blurry faces in the back of your head. You begin to wonder what they are doing now... Do they miss you? Do they still search for you? Are they even all still alive? The questions buzz in your head like a swarm of hornets.
The worst of it all is that deep down, you are certain that you will never know. You will never see your mom and dad grow old; you will not be there when any of your friends gets married, and you will miss every party, funeral, and wedding that they will ever have. As if that wasn’t bad enough, you have to live with the fact that your family will probably never know what happened to you either; they must have no idea where you went or why. Hell you don't even know how or why you are here. You just... are.
“So, think yah can stay for some supper Anon?” Applejack asked in a chipper tone.
Again you snap back to your reality. At first you felt like politely declining the offer, after all, you usually did eat back at your cottage, especially now that you could buy and prepare your own food. Then again, you were pretty hungry, even more so than usual. You decide a nice meal could be just what you need. “Yeah, that would be nice.”
“Great! Let's head back, ah think there's a certain little filly that will be very happy to see you.” Applejack gives you a quick smile and then rolls over onto her stomach to get up.
You start to pull yourself up when AJ extends a hoof for support; she knows that your constant climbing still makes you a little sore, especially after days like today. Without hesitation, you grab onto it and finish pulling yourself up to a standing position.
“Thanks AJ.” You say with a smile.
“Don't mention it sugarcube.” She says with a quick wink.
The two of you begin the walk back to the farmhouse where no doubt a large Apple family supper was waiting.
After a few minutes you both arrive at the farmhouse, Applejack is the first inside. “Hey everypony ah'm home!” Without waiting for an answer she continues, “Ah also brought home a special guest for supper!”
“ANON?!” You hear a familiar voice call from the dining area.
“Yes?” you quickly respond.
You hear a set of quick hoof steps from the dining area and without warning Apple Bloom bursts through the nearby doorway, almost sliding into the wall opposite the dining room door.
“It is you!” without hesitation the yellow filly starts galloping towards you as quickly as her small legs will carry her, as she gets within several feet from you, she leaps into the air aiming right for your chest.
With almost perfect timing you catch the filly midflight, as you have done so many times before, and pull her in for a tight hug. Even though the filly cannot even begin to wrap her forelegs around you, she tries with all her might to squeeze you back. The yellow filly proceeds to nuzzle her head into your neck affectionately, “Anon where have you been? You promised you would start comin' round more often like yah used to!” Apple Bloom is now looking you dead in the eye with a disappointed look on her face.
Before you can respond, Applejack interjects “Oh Apple Bloom, give Anon a break. We had a hard day in tha fields gettin' ready fer cider season. Besides, he was just over fer supper less than a week ago!”
You carefully set the filly down, even as you kneel, you still tower over her. “It's okay AJ, she's right, I did make that promise.” You turn back to Apple Bloom who is now sitting and looking up at you. “I'm sorry Apple Bloom, I really am, I swear that I will try to come visit more often. Things have just been getting hectic with my cottage renovations, and I like to be there if anything happens. As soon as my cottage is done, I will be able to spend more time with you. Okay?”
Although you couldn't truthfully blame your absence on the remodel entirely, the new addition to your cottage that was destined to become a dedicated bathroom (giving your cottage a grand total of two rooms) did require some supervision by you.
Apple Bloom pondered this for a moment “You really, really promise this time?” she asks with squinted eyes.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” You end your promise by mashing an imaginary cupcake into your opened eye. Even though the rhyme was silly, for some reason it carried a great deal of weight with the residents of Ponyville.
Apple Bloom gives you a genuine smile, “Okay, I believe you. Now let's eat some supper so ah can tell you the Crusader's next plan tah get cutie marks!” Apple Bloom seemed satisfied with your promise and as quickly as she came, she galloped back into the dining room for supper.
“I swear that filly likes you more than her own sister. Did you see she didn't even say hi to me?” Applejack gives you a playful glare.
“Honestly, I have no idea why. I never was very popular with kids back home.” Well at least you don’t think you were...
“Oh don't be silly.” Applejack gives you a friendly push with her foreleg. “Apple Bloom adores you. You are always so patient with all her Cutie Mark Crusader plans. ”
This was true. In fact, you have helped Apple Bloom and her friends on multiple occasions in an effort to figure out their special talents. And since you were, at least according to Apple Bloom, technically a blank flank, you even became an honorary member of the club. You still have the small wooden badge that Apple Bloom made for you on your inauguration day. It was hoof carved and painted blue, with the yellow crusader logo right in the middle. It was one of your prized possessions.
You smile and turn to Applejack as you stand up, “What can I say, Apple Bloom brings out the best in me.”
“Or just maybe, you are a kind, patient, and caring person Anon.” Applejack takes a step towards you and gives the back of your hand a quick nuzzle. Before you can react, she trots down the hallway and disappears into the dining room doorway.
You can't help but blush at Applejack's last sentiment. You carefully examine the spot where she nuzzled against your hand, running your other hand back and forth over the fading warmth. Well that was certainly new, you think to yourself.
Before you can ponder any further, Applejack sticks her head around the corner to look at you. You quickly separate your hands, hoping she didn't see what you were doing. “So, are yah gonna stand there all night, or are yah goin' to come have some supper?” Applejack asks with a warm smile.
“Ha ha, very funny, I'll be right there.”
Applejack gives you one last grin and then retreats back into the dining room.
You reach to touch your hand one last time and then proceed towards the dining room. Before you even reach the doorway you can already smell the unmistakable scents of an amazing Apple family supper.
You really do need to start visiting more often.
Dinner progressed pretty normally, Applejack and you chatted about the latest growing predictions, Granny Smith once again berated you for being too scrawny, and Big Mac, well, was being Big Mac. He never talked too much, but like Applejack, you knew that he was a lot brighter than he let on.
Even though it was rare, you learned to listen when Big Mac talked; it was more often than not something worth hearing. You had a lot of respect for Mac, you had heard the stories of how he had single handily kept the farm running until Applejack was old enough to buck an apple tree. Without his hard work and contribution you were certain the farm would never have become what it is today.
Of course Mac was much too humble to ever boast about such things. No, he had Applejack for that. You found out quite quickly how much Applejack looked up to Big Mac. She could go on for hours about her brother. In fact she could go on about almost any of her family members. Applejack had a lot of pride in her family and she loved every one of her many siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
You yourself had a smaller family, or well, you think you did... maybe? Either way, it has become a lot smaller now. Just one, to be exact.
“So Anon! Wanna hear about the new Crusader cutie mark plan?”
You look up from your meal to see the small yellow filly smiling at you from across the dinner table, anxiously waiting your answer.
“You bet! Lay it on me.” Seeing Apple Bloom's smile immediately made you forget your previous thoughts.
“Okay so y'all know that nightmare night is comin' right?” Everyone around the table gave quick nods, excluding Granny Smith of course, she was happily snoring at the head of the table. Apple Bloom continued “So, ah overheard Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon talkin' the other day in school about some spooky stuff happenin' in the Everfree forest.”
Applejack gave her sister a concerned look “Now hold on a second there Apple Bloom. You already know that the Everfree forest is no place for little fillies.”
“But Aaapplejaaaack you haven't even let me finish yet!” Apple Bloom whined.
“Come on now AJ, let's at least hear her out.” you give Applejack a pleading look.
Applejack gives you a half serious glare, but then finally relents. “Alright, alright, go ahead Apple Bloom.”
Apple Bloom flashes you a smile before continuing, “So, like ah was sayin'. There has been some really weird stuff happenin' in the forest. Diamond said that one night while she was walking by the forest, she heard voices coming from the trees, like fillies and colts whispering. But whenever she tried to call out to the forest, the whispers would suddenly stop...”
You look at Applejack who was raising an eyebrow at the story.
“And Silverspoon said she could see lights, like lanterns, floating around behind the trees! But when she would try to get a better look...” Apple Bloom paused and looked at everyone “The lights would disappear! Right into thin air!” Apple Bloom threw her hoofs into the air and once again surveyed her audience.
You looked at Applejack who seemed like she was actually pretty caught up in the story, for a moment your eyes meet. Applejack quickly cleared her throat and took on a more serious look. You can't help but give a chuckle at the sudden change.
“So, what does all this have tah do with your plan?” Applejack asks, trying to ignore your poorly concealed laughter.
“Well.” Apple Bloom started, “Me and the other crusaders are gonna investigate a'course!”
“Like go into the forest? The Everfree forest?” Applejack asks with noticeable concern in her voice.
“Well, yeah! We have to if we're gonna investigate! Who knows, we could get ghost hunter cutie marks!” Apple Bloom smiled and looked down at her thigh where her cutie mark would someday be.
“Uhh uhh, no way Apple Bloom.” Applejack said firmly. “The Everfree forest is too dangerous for a little filly.”
“Ah am not little anymore, Applejack!” Apple Bloom planted her hoofs onto the table, trying to push a little higher, making herself appear as tall as possible.
“Apple Bloom ah said no and that's final.” Applejack gave the filly a stern look.
Apple Bloom turns to you “Anon, tell Applejack I'm not little anymore!” She pleads to you with big eyes and a small pout.
Oh boy, she knows you can't resist that face... Even though you would normally side with AJ... Apple Bloom has grown a lot since you've known her.
“Now hold up AJ, Apple Bloom isn't the same little filly she was when I first met her. I think she has grown up quite a bit.” Apple Bloom gives you a wide grin before turning back to Applejack.
Applejack gives out a sigh “You may be right Anon, but the Everfree forest is just too dangerous for anypony, not just fillies.”
“But Appleja-”
“I'm sorry Apple Bloom, but I'm saying no. It's not worth the risk. Now come on, it's time for you to get ready fer bed.” Applejack carefully picks up her plate in her mouth and drops it off in the sink, she trots over to the doorway and looks back “I'll meet you upstairs in a few minutes to tuck you in, okay Apple Bloom?”
Apple Bloom let out a sigh “Fine...”
Applejack gave her sister a contented nod, “Can you stick around fer a little bit Anon?”
“Sure.” You reply.
Applejack gives you a smile and then disappears through the doorway.
Big Mac silently places his plate in the sink and then heads for the doorway, “Night.” he says as he nods towards you.
“Night, Mac.”
Apple Bloom jumps down from her chair as she grumbles to herself. She hangs her head as she walks towards the sink. You hate seeing her so disappointed.
“Hey, Apple Bloom.” You call quietly to her.
Apple Bloom perks up as she looks to you.
“Come here real quick.” you motion her over.
She quickly runs over to your chair, where you lean down to her eye level. “Just between you and me,” you whisper, “I think your plan sounds awesome.”
Apple Bloom starts to perk up. “Really, Anon?” she whispers back excitedly.
“You bet, I think you are one of the bravest ponies I know. If anyone around here could be a ghost hunter, it would be you.” You smile and pat Apple Bloom on the head.
Without warning Apple Bloom jumps onto her hind legs and wraps her forelegs around your neck, embracing you in a hug. “Thanks Anon...” she whispers quietly into your ear.
After a moment, Apple Bloom jumps down and quickly trots towards the doorway “G'night!” she calls as she runs through the doorway.
A smile quickly overtakes your face seeing the filly happy again.
Apple Bloom suddenly pops her head back around the corner, “An' don't forget! You promised you would come round more often!” the filly gives you a stern look.
You let out a small chuckle “I remember, and I meant it, I'll come around more, promise.”
Apple Bloom smiles and gives you a nod “Good.” And as quickly as she appeared, Apple Bloom disappeared back through the doorway.
You smile as you listen to the filly's quick steps up the stairs to the bedrooms.
“WHAT DID I TELL YOU 'BOUT THE BUNNY EARS?!” Granny Smith yelled as she suddenly woke from her nap. As she took in her surroundings she locked her gaze on you. “Well hey there Anon, what brings you to the farmhouse today?”
You try to stifle a laugh, “Just having some supper Granny.”
“Oh good good... You know what, ah'm mighty tired. I think I'm gonna go take a nice nap.” Without waiting for a reply, Granny Smith got off her chair and walked out of the dining room.
You chuckle to yourself quietly. Well that just leaves you now, might as well clean up. You get up and place your dishes in the sink. As you look up from the sink, you catch a glimpse of the full moon out the window. It looks really beautiful tonight. After you finish cleaning your plate, you decide you want a better look.
As you shut the farmhouse's front door you feel the cool autumn air hit your skin. The crisp air combined with the calming sounds of nature puts you immediately at ease. After a few moments of basking in the quiet of the night, you take a seat on the edge of the porch; from here you have a perfect view of the moon and the stars.
“Enjoying the view?”
You turn to see Applejack standing behind you smiling. “Yeah.” you answer. “It's one thing that hasn't changed.”
Applejack walks to your side and sits down “What d’yah mean?”
“It's hard to explain, but the night sky hasn't changed. It seems like everything else is different here in Equestria.” You pause, “Talking ponies, magic, the changing of the seasons. Everything is different here.” You nod towards the sky. “Except the stars, the few constellations I knew from back home are still here.” You point upwards. “Aquarius.” You shift your finger to another area in the sky, “Lacerta.” Again you move your arm, “Pisces. They are all here. Just like ho...” You slowly lower your arm without looking away from the sky, not able to finish your sentence.
Applejack moves a little closer to you. “You miss them, don't you Anon.?” she asks quietly.
You let out a sigh. “Every day.” You don't have the energy to lie right now.
“Do you think you could tell me about them? You’ve never said much about yer family… I’d love to hear about them.” Applejack’s asks with a comforting smile.
Up until now you have never told anybody about your family except the princesses. Although a few ponies have asked, you’ve always turned them down, giving some excuse about them not being interesting or the like... Something felt different now though. For some reason you don’t feel like lying to Applejack. She seems to sincerely want to know about them. Too bad you have almost nothing to tell her...
You let out an audible sigh. “You see, the truth is...” You look to Applejack who is patiently waiting for your response, as your eyes meet she gives you a small, but warm smile. “I... I can't remember them Applejack. No matter how hard I try, it's like looking through a fog.” You pause, there’s no stopping now you suppose. “It feels horrible, barely being able to remember my own family. I lived with them for years, probably seeing them every day of my life, and then I come here and it’s gone. It’s all gone, their voices, their laughter, Applejack, I can’t even remember their faces, my own family’s faces.” You turn away from Applejack, afraid of what she is thinking. “I know, I’m a terrible person. My family doesn't even know if I am alive!” You lean over and cup your head in your hands. “Hell, I don't even know if they are alive...”
You feel Applejack softly nudge your head with her own, pushing it out of your hands. You look up to see her eyes watering. “Anon, ah can't even begin to understand that... Not being able to remember, it must be so hard on you.” her voice is sincere and full of sadness as she speaks. “But you need to stop putting it all on yer'self. You said you’re a terrible person, and that’s plain nonsense. You can't live yer life with that guilt, especially when it isn't your fault.”
You swallow hard as you look at Applejack. Her big green eyes look back at you, even through your cloudy vision you can see genuine caring in those eyes, she looks so sad now. You can't stand seeing Applejack like this. You reach up and cup Applejack's head in your hand, after a moment you slowly wipe away the tears on her cheek with your thumb. Applejack closes her eyes and pushes her head into your hand. She stays silent for a moment and her expression softens as she softly nuzzles your hand.
She lifts her head and looks at you again. “Now ah know nothing could ever replace your family Anon. And I don’t ever want to do that, but you know you’re not alone here right?”
You give her a quizzical look.
“You have us yanno.” She offers. “You are a part of our family Anon. Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, even Big Mac, they all care for you.” Applejack pauses and swallows. “I care for you... Whether or not you think so, you will always have us” Applejack gives you a small smile, remnants of her tears still visible in her eyes.
You look back at the sky “You have all been so great to me AJ. All in all, I couldn't ask for anything more. Even though I can't remember them very well, I like to think that my family was like yours.”
Applejack shifts a few more inches towards you until no room is left between you. You can feel the warmth of her body pressing against yours; it feels nice in contrast to the cool air of the night.
Applejack joins you in star gazing. “If your family is anything like you, I'm sure they are all amazing.”
You let out an audible laugh. “Yeah... Right. I'm a disgrace.” You lower your gaze and stare ahead at nothing in particular. “They must hate me. Leaving without so much as a goodbye... I bet they looked for me. I bet they worried and searched everywhere. And I wasn't there; I was nowhere to be found... How could they not hate me after all of that?”
You lower your gaze to the ground, “Like I said, I am a terrible person.”
Applejack pulls away from you slightly. “You really can make me upset sometimes Anon.”
Confused, you turn to her “What do you mean?”
“You are so good Anon, so caring and decent. There is ah reason the Apple family cares for you so much... A reason that ah care for you so much...” Applejack looks away from you. “But yah still insist on putting yer'self down and taking the blame for something yah had no control of. All this time you’ve been living with this, never telling anypony.” Applejack looks back to you, frustration in her eyes, “Honestly Anon, ah hate it. Ah hate seeing you taking the world on your shoulders. I don't know yer family, but ah doubt they would want yah to do this to yer'self.”
You let out a reluctant sigh. “Maybe... Maybe you're right Applejack. Since my first day in Equestria I noticed that my memory was fuzzy. I don't know if traveling here caused it, or if I was just so shocked by the experience... Either way, all my memories from back home are just muddy. And it's only gotten worse.” You tilt your head back, looking straight up at the night sky. “I just... I miss them so much. And I hate not being able to even remember the people I'm missing.”
“An' no one can blame you fer that Anon.” Applejack rests a hoof on your leg “It's perfectly normal to miss yer family, it's even more normal tah be frustrated that you can't remember them.” Applejack scoffs quietly, “Shoot, I get upset when I can't remember the weather schedule, if I couldn't remember mah family...” She pauses. “It would be awful.” Applejack pushes your face so that it turns towards her. “But yah can't blame yerself fer what happened. Yah can't live with the guilt every day for something like that.” Applejack gives you a small smile. “I can tell you love your family so much, I'm sure they knew that before you were gone.” Applejack leans into you, resting her head on your shoulder “You are a good man Anon. There's no way in all the worlds that they don't love you. How could anyone not?”
You never anticipated all this... Your eyes are watering, you can feel sobs trying to rise in your throat but you choke them back. Maybe she is right... Maybe they don't hate you, maybe they just miss you. Like you miss them. Maybe they still hope to see you again, just like you dream about seeing them someday... The sobs are starting to rise harder now, but you push them down. Even though you try not to, you can't help but shudder.
Suddenly you hear Applejack stand; she hops down off of the short porch and faces you. Without a word she lifts onto her hind legs and rests her forelegs on your shoulders. You are now face to face with the orange mare, her nose just inches from your own.
“Yah don't need tah hold back anymore.” she whispers gently. “Ah'm here for you Anon. And ah will always be here for you. Yah don't have tah carry that burden by yerself anymore.” Without warning she pulls you to her, embracing you tightly.
As she nuzzles the crook of your neck you can smell her golden-straw colored hair as it rests softly against your cheek. It smells sweet, like apple blossoms.
Applejack stops nuzzling your neck for a moment and raises her mouth to the side of your head, you can feel her warm breath on your ear. “It's not your fault Anon.” She whispers softly as she gives you a tight squeeze, “It's not your fault...”
You can hear pain and sadness in her voice, all as she desperately tries to comfort you. It's all too much for you contain anymore.
You feel something break inside you, like a dam finally being released after being under too much pressure for too long. You let your sobs come out now. No restraints, no holding back. Just... release.
Surprisingly to you, Applejack doesn't flinch, she doesn't pull away, she doesn't do anything. She just holds you close, letting you sob in her embrace. She doesn't mind that your tears are soaking her hair and coat, she doesn't mind as your sobs cause you to shake and tremble. She just holds you, and continues to slowly nuzzle your neck.
For the first time since coming to Equestria you feel light, like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.
After a while, your sobs begin to come slower; your breathing begins to become normal again. After a minute of regaining your composure, Applejack pulls away from the embrace, just enough so that you can see each other's face. Applejack's eyes are watering, but she has a warm smile on her face.
“Thanks AJ.”
“Don't mention it sugarcube.” Applejack leans in and kisses your cheek tenderly. Her lips linger for a moment before pulling away. Without a word, she lets go of you and then hops back up onto the porch.
For a moment you feel cold without Applejack's warmth.
Before you can protest her absence, Applejack tucks herself against you again and rests her head once more on your shoulder.
The two of you sit in silence, under the stars, surrounded by nature’s soft melodies.
“Hey Anon?” Applejack whispers.
“Yeah, AJ?”
“This is the part where yah hold me.” Applejack pops open one of her large green eyes to look at you as she gives you a playful smile.
“Oh... right.” You extend your arm out and wrap it around the mare’s midsection. Your hand rests softly against her stomach.
Applejack lets out a content sigh. “Yah may be kind Anon, but sometimes you can be as dense as a barn door.” she says with a smile.
You let out a quiet chuckle and look again up at the night sky.
For the first time in as long as you can remember, as you sit here with Applejack, you don't feel alone at all.
No, tonight you have another; a sweet, amazing mare that has gone out of her way to care, to help you finally forgive yourself. You may still miss your family, and still long to see them again, but you no longer have to feel all by yourself in this world. You aren't sure if things will change now, but then again that doesn't matter right now. Tonight it's just you and Applejack under the stars.
And right now, you can't think of any place you'd rather be.
End of Chapter 1
