It's Tricksy

by Ezn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Trixie
Length: 1141

Trixie has a rap battle.

The Great and Powerful Trixie's first performance in Zebrica becomes a war of words.

Published 2012-11-14 22:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-14 22:40:02 UTC

Trixie Rhymes

It's Tricksy
by Ezn

A striped hoof stuck up in the air.

Trixie looked down her snout and out at the zebras gathered before her stage, surveying the crowd until her gaze came to rest on the zebra who had accepted her challenge.

"You dare challenge the Great and Powerful Trixie?!" she boomed. "Join me on the stage and prepare for utter humiliation!"

The zebra – as Trixie had emphatically been too busy basking her own presence to take much note of before – was a young mare with a defiant look in her dark turquoise eyes and a mohawk cropped close to her coat. She wore glowing blue earrings and carried herself with a confidence that Trixie thought reminded her of own.

Trixie looked forward to crushing her. The proud ones where always the most fun.

"Because I'm feeling charitable tonight," Trixie began as the zebra mare reached the stage and made eye-contact with her, "I will let my opponent choose the challenge!"

The crowd gasped in awe.

"But be warned!" Trixie added. "The Great and Powerful Trixie's skill at magic is exceeded only by her versatility."

The zebra mare stared at Trixie with her defiant stare, letting the crowd go silent before slowly, carefully speaking:

"Proud pony, I challenge you to a form of zebra art
A noble game of words, won through wit by the smart
A battle of rhymes, a duel with flow
Slam poetry tournament, let's go!"

Trixie winked at her opponent.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie's got rhythm coming out of her horn
Just like magic, and beauty, and the greatest spectacles ever born!
You simply cannot hope to best her, not even with your finest verse
Trixie's going to leave you speechless, make your pathetic rhymes terse."

If the mare was taken aback, she didn't show it, even as the crowd gasped and murmured.

"For an Equestrian girl I'll admit you have a jam
But it's a little weak – bet you keep it in a foal's pram
That's a nice try, really a great start
But you ain't beating a zebra at her life's art!"

Trixie chuckled.

"We'll just see about that, girl, 'cause you're already running out
That's the second time you used 'art' – oh no, don't do that pout!
It doesn't look good, but then neither does your face
Better give up now, we know I'm winning this race."

"You think that's clever, pointing what you think I did wrong?
That's not what this is about, not why I sing this song!
You're so proud of your many words, but I can keep going till sunrise
You're gonna run out of rhymes, there'll be tears exiting your eyes!"

"Girl, I got words for days, I'm a certified dictionary and thesaurus
I'll be bringing fresh rhymes long after you start to bore us
That's what you're doing now with your simple diction
Didn't think you could be this bad, not outside of fiction!"

"Oooh!" called the crowd. If Trixie squinted, she swore she could see a crack in the mare's stoic expression.

"You've got some skills, but I've got more
I'll kick your flank back to your home shore
Send your tacky stage with you, it's uglying my city
And even for a pony, you ain't nowhere near pretty!"

The crowd erupted with cheers. Trixie grimaced, grinding her teeth together.

"I got some news for you
That's a remark you're gonna rue
Trixie is beautiful, intelligent and perfect in every way
Anything different you'd have to be a madmare to say
But that's understandable, definitely given your condition
How's it you can even talk, with all your mental attrition?!
You've got it bad, filly, so bad your eyes are seeing wrong
They obviously can't see me here, still standing strong!
I'm gonna break your ears, to match your eyes
Gonna fill them flow, till you finally get wise
You can't win this, deary, so don't even try
Just give up now, go give those eyes a dry!"

Everything had fallen silent – Trixie couldn't even hear the background noise of the city. All eyes were riveted on her and her opponent, who stood as still as ever. She breathed deeply, in and out.

"You think you're going to win, but pride will cause your fall
You're belting out some rhymes now, but soon you'll use 'em all."

Trixie raised an eyebrow. She raised it further moments later, when it became clear her opponent was finished. Snorting derisively, she prepared to cement her victory.

"If all you've got's one measly couplet
Don't pretend like this isn't over yet
I can rhyme all day because I'm the Great and Powerful Trixie!
I'm wise, I'm beautiful, I'm brilliant, and above all I'm tricksy!
You –"

Trixie was cut off by a loud cry from the audience. Aghast, she snapped her head around to face them. "What is the matter with you? I was in the middle of –"

The crowd's yelling grew louder and angrier. Although much of it was in a language Trixie couldn't understand, the boos and and the angry expressions translated quite well. She looked to the zebra mare with a questioning expression on her face.

The mare's mouth twitched with a faint hint of a smile, and she leaned over to whisper something in Trixie's ear. Trixie's face fell, and she bowed her head in shame.

***

The crowd dispersed quite quickly after that, and Trixie morosely packed her stage back into its caravan. Once more, her enthusiastic showponyship had led to her humiliation. With a grunt of derision for the departed audience, she scooped up her tip jar in a cloud of telekinesis.

Something was wrong. It was too heavy.

Scarcely believing her magic, Trixie upended the tip jar and watched in awe as an assortment of Equestrian bits and colourful Zebrican tokens clattered on the ground. She blinked at least ten times, and each time the money was still there when she opened her eyes.

An amused voice called from the background.

"Zebras, you'll find, enjoy a good show
They're entertained by your bravado."

Surprised, Trixie spun around to face her opponent from earlier, now smiling broadly at her.

"I must thank you for the slam, I enjoyed it a lot
My name's Imena, mind joining me for a trot?"

Trixie looked at the money on the ground, at her caravan and back at Imena. She was warming up to zebras, she thought.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie agrees to grace you with her presence!"

Imena giggled, and the two of them headed off into the night.

Author's Note

I go into more detail about Zebrica in the significantly more serious Long Distance. I go into more detail about Trixie's rap career in the significantly less serious Trixie Lulamoon: VOICE OF A GENERATION.