Ponies and Pactios: A Negima Crossover

by funkyferret

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure
Length: 17495

A Negima?! Crossover

Twilight finds herself saddled with looking after a weird unicorn colt and his talking pet ermine. The new pony insists that he is actually a human mage from another place, brought here by something he calls "the darkness". Yet it seems like he can barely cast any spells at all. Now, with strange creatures running about, and her friends acting odd, Twilight will have to make a decision whether or not to believe his crazy stories or not. And what exactly is this "pactio" thing the ermine keeps going on about? Wait... what do you mean it involves kissing?!

Comments are always welcome. Please note that this is a crossover of the SECOND Negima series, which was the more lighthearted one. A basic understanding of the anime/manga is recommended before reading this story in order to avoid confusion. This fic is not to be taken seriously.

Cowritten by the the stupendous HellRyden.

Published 2012-11-12 01:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-16 01:30:16 UTC

"I Should Have Just Stayed Home Today" by Twilight Sparkle

"I Should Have Just Stayed Home Today" by Twilight Sparkle

"I Should Have Just Stayed Home Today" by Twilight Sparkle

A warm beam of mid-afternoon sunlight peered in through the crack in the curtains of the top floor of the tree-turned-library, bringing light into the otherwise gloomy room. The lights were all off, and the room was silent. A figure lay in the bed, positioned where the sunlight could not reach it and disturb the beds occupant, whom was cocooned in blankets. Across the room, a lavender unicorn kept vigil over her patient's rest. Her mouth was set in a thin line and her brow was furrowed in concentration.

Twilight sighed as she stared at the lump under the covers. Only the small movement, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, indicated that the bed's occupant was still alive. She rubbed a hoof across her forehead as she looked down at the brown unicorn colt lying in her guest bed. "Why did it end up like this anyway?" she muttered to herself.

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Twilight Sparkle yawned and stretched under the covers of her bed. She glanced out the window. Celestia's sun had barely cleared the horizon; it was still quite early by the librarian's standards. She began to go through her usual mental checklist, then paused as she remembered something. Rarity had asked for her help this morning. Twilight did not know how long her meeting with the fashionista would take, which made planning the rest of her day rather hard. If she hurried over there now maybe they could finish early and then she could at least plan out her afternoon. Mind made up, she grunted and rolled out of bed, before using a flash of magic to return it to a mild semblance of order.

Twilight headed downstairs. An inviting smell lured her towards the kitchen where her scaly assistant was making breakfast. The dragon smiled at her as he continued to flip pancakes in a practiced manner.

"Good morning, Twilight," Spike said pleasantly. "You're down here earlier than usual today."

Twilight grunted in acknowledgement and shuffled over to pour herself a cup of coffee. She sipped the hot beverage and hummed happily.

"So, we're going to Rarity's today?" the dragon asked.

The unicorn took notice of his choice of words. She set her drink down on the table and looked at him sternly. "Not we, Spike, just me. You have chores to do today."

"Twiliiiight," Spike whined.

She shook her head. "If you had gotten them done yesterday you wouldn't be in this situation."

Spike's spines drooped. He sighed.

Twilight smiled at him, feeling a bit guilty. She trotted over to him and rested a reassuring hoof on his shoulder. "I bet Rarity will keep me busy most of the morning," she said gently. "When you finish up your chores, then you can come join us. I'm sure she'll have something for you to help with."

"Thanks, Twilight." The little dragon smiled at her.

She tousled the spines on the top of his head before heading back to the table and taking a seat. "Now, how about some breakfast."

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Twilight stood as still as she could. Bits of fabric, ribbons, needles, and other objects whirled around her. At times, their orbits came a little too close for comfort. "Umm, Rarity, are you sure this is necessary?" she asked.

The white unicorn looked up from her work. "Of course, darling. Having a live model brings an extra dimension that those dull cloth dummies could never have. This way I can see my work come alive and make sure it's absolutely perfect for the customer."

"But why me?" Twilight asked, trying to keep her frustration out of her voice.

"Fluttershy swore off fashion after she ended her modeling career, Applejack is 'busy', and Rainbow Dash has refused to help after I used her as a model last time. As for Pinkie, she's... Pinkie. That just leaves you, and I really do appreciate your help. I promise, it won't take much longer."

Twilight gritted her teeth, resisting the urge to mention the fact that the fashionista had said the same thing before... several hours ago. She thought wistfully of her bed, while doing her best to stay upright. Her eyes glazed over.

Twilight was torn from her stupor by a loud thump noise. She glanced around. "Was that Spike?" she asked, turning to Rarity. Unexpectedly, the white unicorn's eyes were not on the door where the tardy dragon would enter. She was looking straight up, mouth hanging open. Twilight glanced up as well. Her own jaw soon plummeted towards the floor. A mass of darkness, peppered with flashing red lights, churned overhead.

"W-what is that thing?" Rarity cried.

Twilight shook her head. "I... don't know. But it can't be good." Calling up her magic, she prepared to fight back.

As if it was a living entity that sensed her intent, the red lights flashed as one. A wind kicked up out of nowhere, forcing the two ponies to shield their eyes as Rarity's supplies were swept up in the tempest. The windows banged open, and the darkness rushed out. It hovered above the boutique, smoking in the noonday sun. For a moment it stayed there, as if uncertain. Then it flew away towards the Everfree forest, bits sloughing off of the main cloud as it went. The dregs faded away in the sun; mere moments later, nothing remained of the strange apparition.

Within the boutique, two windswept unicorns slowly rose to their feet. "What a mess," Rarity cried out as she looked around. "How horrible! This will take hours to-- good heavens, who is that?"

Lying on the ground was a small light-brown unicorn, little older than the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Twilight approached the still form, carefully looking him over. Entangled in his mane was a small white ferret with a black tail tip. The ferret wasn't moving. The mane itself was odd. The top of his mane was short, reddish-brown, and unruly. Towards the back of his neck, the mane was longer, dark brown, and drawn into a short ponytail. His tail looked similar, though it lacked the band to hold it in shape. He had no cutie mark and showed no outward signs of injury. She ran a quick diagnostic spell. "He's out cold... and seems to have a minor head injury, though that might be just a result of the fall," she said. Looking down, she noticed a pair of glasses lying partially underneath the colt's body. The frame was bent and one of the lenses had cracked.

"Who is he? If he had anything to do with that... thing, he might be dangerous," Rarity cautioned.

Twilight shook her head. "I would have sensed it if he was. Besides, why would a colt be involved in black magic?" She looked down at the little pony again. Despite what she had said, there was something a little off about him...

The door to the shop chimed, and Spike walked in. He looked around and froze in his tracks. "Whoa, what the heck happened here?" he asked.

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Twilight shook her head, clearing it of the memories of what had happened that morning. Of course she had sent a letter to the Princess immediately. The response she got was unexpected. Celestia promised to send some guards to look into the problem, but had tasked Twilight and her friends with looking after the colt instead of assisting them in the search. It was rather aggravating that she couldn't just jump into researching the topic, but she had a duty to fulfill. After all, the Princess must have a reason for her decisions.

Then there was the issue of where the colt would stay. Rarity's shop was in disarray and she still had an order to fill. Fluttershy had happily taken in the white ferret (she said it was actually an ermine), but was unwilling to house a strange pony. Pinkie Pie and the Cakes didn't have any extra room and Rainbow's house was inaccessible to earth-bound ponies. Applejack had room at the farm, but they had been worried about moving an injured pony that far. This meant Twilight got stuck looking after the colt... and by herself at that, since Spike was over at Rarity's, helping her clean up. Now Twilight's entire plan for the day was completely out the window. "I should have just stayed home today," she muttered.

The figure in the bed moved, drawing her eyes back towards it. The pony twitched, and his eyes fluttered open. "Minna-san, nigete kudasai!" he yelled.

Twilight blinked in confusion. "What? A foreigner?"

Author's Note

This chapter received minor editing to address some minor issues.

"Where the Heck am I?" by Negi

"Where the Heck am I?" by Negi

Negi Springfield was floating in a void. His thoughts were fragmented; random images flashed before his eyes. Memories and emotions swirled together. There was something important he needed to remember... it was floating just out of his grasp. He reached out for it and it snapped firmly into view. The darkness... it was coming. His students were in grave danger. Thrusting himself into consciousness, he opened his eyes. "Everyone, run away!" Negi yelled to his class.

"What? A foreigner?" an unknown female voice responded. The words were spoken in English for some reason.

Heart pounding, he looked around. Despite his blurred vision and the rooms dim lighting, he could tell that he wasn't on the school grounds anymore. From the feel of it, he was laying in bed. "What happened? Where are all my students?" he wondered. "I remember that the girls found out about my magic... I was to be stripped of my powers and changed into an animal. Then the darkness came out of nowhere. I remember Chamo reaching for me and then... nothing. Where am I?"

He struggled to focus on his surroundings. His body felt odd, his head was pounding, and his vision was still blurry. He reached up to check if his glasses were still on. A blunt hoof met a short muzzle, sending rapid signals shooting down already tender nerve endings. Negi grunted in pain. "Did the transformation happen after all? If so, why can I still feel my magic?" His magic reserve was still there, as it had been every other day in the ten years of his life. However, the level was much lower than it had ever been before... he had barely a trickle of energy left.

"Are you alright?" There was that voice again. It was odd to hear someone speaking English in Japan without it being heavily accented. The girl spoke slowly and enunciated, as if she thought he had trouble understanding her. She had to be relatively new to the country if she had yet to grasp the native language.

"Y-yes thank you," he replied in English. He looked around vainly, still unable to make out anything in the dim light. "Are you the one who has been taking care of me?"

"Wait... you speak Equestrian?" The voice sounded puzzled.

Negi was confused. He was still struggling to get his thoughts in order. "Umm... I'm not sure what you're talking about. I seem to be missing my glasses, and its rather dark in here. Just where are you?"

"Oh sorry, I'll turn on a light." The voice was apologetic.

A lamp lit, temporarily blinding him. He rubbed his eyes until he could focus again. There was something wrong with his hands. He looked down at a pair of brown hooves. "A horse? So I did transform." He looked himself over carefully.

"Sorry, I should have warned you before I turned the light on," the voice said. "Are you alright? What were you shouting about earlier?"

He turned towards the speaker. Any response he had died in his throat. He was looking at a purple horse, one about twice his size. He couldn't make out very many details, beyond that the speaker had a lavender coat and a dark purple mane and tail. He looked around, but there wasn't anyone else in the room.

The movement of the horse's mouth indicated that this was indeed the owner of the voice. "My friend Rarity has your glasses right now. They broke when you fell out of that weird black cloud... just what was that thing anyways?"

"Black cloud? The darkness!" The urgency of his situation came back to him. He needed to get back to his students right away so that he could protect them from the darkness. The mage tried to sit up, but the movement made his head spin, halting any further progress. He found himself pitching sideways instead.

A pair of hooves steadied him. Though they belonged to an equine, they were surprisingly warm. "Easy there," the horse said. "You shouldn't exert yourself so much right after waking up from a head injury."

"B-but I have to help my students, how far is it to Mahora Academy?"

She frowned at him. "You must have hit your head pretty hard," she said in a soothing tone. "A little colt like you is too young to have 'students', and I've never heard of this 'Mare-hora' place... you're in Ponyville right now."

He blinked. "Am I even in Japan anymore?" he wondered aloud.

She cocked her head at him. "Neighpon? That's halfway around the world. This is Equestria."

Despite his scattered thoughts, the young teacher was pretty sure no country with such a name existed on Earth. A number of questions flew through his mind. "Where the heck am I? This purple horse who has been helping me... is she another cursed mage like I am?" he wondered briefly. For the most part, his thoughts were focused on the main matter at hand "... How do I get home?"

"What Kind of Messed Up World is This?" by Chamo

"What Kind of Messed Up World is This?" by Chamo

Albert Chamomile felt absolutely horrid. His head felt like Asuna had been using it as a punching bag again. Groaning, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. "Oh my, you're awake. This is wonderful, I was so worried." The voice was gentle and feminine. As the owner of the voice came closer, he caught the scent of flowers.

"Heh, just what I've always wanted, a beautiful woman to take care of me when I'm sick," Chamo thought with a mischievous grin. A cool towel was placed on his head; he could feel the girl's breath washing over him as she tended to his injuries. "With such a lovely voice, I'm sure she's a real looker." He opened his eyes... and looked into the face of a yellow pony.

It smiled at him. "Are you feeling any better?" it asked in the same melodious tone.

"You have got to be kidding me," he said flatly.

The pony's eyes widened. "Eep!" she squeaked and ran out the front door of the cottage, leaving it hanging open in her haste to escape.

"Uhh..." Chamo wasn't sure what to make of such behavior. Peeling the rag off his head, he got to his feet carefully and looked around. The cottage was small and yet it was filled to the ceiling with animals of every shape and size. Most of them were staring at him like he had two heads. He heard the door slam shut. He looked towards it to see a very angry looking rabbit standing there. It's arms were crossed, and it met the ermine's stare with a scowl. It hopped across the room and stood in front of him. Despite the fact that they were about the same size, the rabbit managed to tower over him somehow.

The uneducated reader may not know it, but even with their inability to produce audible words, animals have a language all their own. Composed primarily of body language, it is not something a human can easily understand. Luckily, Chamo was multilingual and could "speak" this complex language. For those of you reading this who lack the skill to understand, a rough translation of their conversation has been added.

"Who are you... how'd you talk to the main mare?" the rabbit asked suspiciously.

"I may look like a simple ermine, but I am actually an incredibly powerful fairy, tasked with looking after one of the greatest young wizards of all time. Try not to be too jealous." He puffed out his chest.

The rabbit was unimpressed. "Look here, twinkle toes, I don't care if you think you're Discord himself, you don't go around scaring the boss. Do that again, and I'll knock you across the Everfree."

Chamo's fur bristled. "I'm not going to be intimidated by someone who takes orders from a talking horse."

The rabbit raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what planet you're from, but the ponies are in charge around here. You'd better get used to it."

"Ponies? Where are the people who look after them?"

The rabbit rapped him on the skull. "You don't listen very well. The ponies are the ones in charge. They build the houses, they grow the food, and they take care of your furry behind."

Chamo rubbed his sore head. He thought back to the appearance of the flying pony he had met earlier. Something dawned on him. "So... the ponies are in charge?"

"Oh Celestia, you're slow. Yes."

"D-do they wear clothes?"

"Only on special occasions."

The ermine gulped. "A-and what about bras?"

"Never heard of them."

"Panties?"

"Nope."

"Cigarettes?"

"Not in Ponyville."

Chamo fell to the ground. He lay on his side and stared at the wall. "What kind of messed up world is this?" he whispered. "I've got to find Negi and get out of here before I lose it."

"Spike, Bring Me Some Tea" by Twilight Sparkle

"Spike, Bring Me Some Tea" by Twilight Sparkle

"For the last time, lie down!" Twilight Sparkle was beginning to lose her patience, and was in danger of losing her patient. The little unicorn seemed determined to leave, despite his head injury. The injury was clearly much worse than she had originally suspected, as the colt continued to spout nonsense.

"But I have to find a way out of here; I need to get back to my students," the colt said. He tried to sit up again, but the purple aura surrounding his blankets prevented any further movement.

"You have a head injury that's making you delusional. You need to get some rest."

"I'm not crazy! I'm--"

"A mage... right." Twilight sighed through her gritted teeth. "You can't even handle a basic levitation spell," she said, referring to his earlier attempt to escape by waving his hooves around and chanting gibberish. It was no surprise that his "spell" had been a resounding failure.

"If I only had my staff... where is it?"

"I didn't see a staff where you fell."

"But I need it to focus my magic... it was a gift from my father."

"I'm sorry you lost your dad's staff, but what's wrong with using your horn to focus your magic like a normal unicorn?" She waved a hoof at her own horn, which was glowing as she cast her containment spell on him.

"I don't know how," he admitted. "This is the first time I've had one."

Twilight wrinkled her brow in confusion. "What do you mean... did you use to be an earth pony or a pegasus? Did that dark cloud do something to your body as well as your head?"

"No. I was a human before... weren't you?" The colt looked nearly as confused as she was.

The purple unicorn shook her head. "I've never heard of humans. As for me, I've always been a unicorn."

He was silent for a moment. "... Huh? B-but you can talk."

"So can you."

"Yes, but-- "

The door opened and Spike walked in to the library. "Hey, Twilight, sorry that I'm so late. I was--" He looked at the foal being held in bed by the librarians magic. "Oh, he's awake... what are you doing?"

Twilight sighed. "He keeps trying to get out of bed, and won't listen to me at all. I think his head trauma must be pretty bad since he keeps speaking nonsense. I don't know how to take care of him! I'm not a medical doctor or a trained nurse... and I haven't had time to search through the books for help since our patient keeps interrupting me with his various escape attempts."

The colt frowned at her and sniffed. He scrubbed at his nose with one of his forelegs.

Twilight realized he was no longer resisting her. She canceled her spell, and the glow slowly faded away from the bed. She turned to Spike, who was watching the two ponies with concern. "How were things with Rarity?" she asked with a reassuring smile, trying to change the subject.

He grinned, a slight blush forming across his snout. "We got everything cleaned up and she said I was a big help. Oh yeah, she sent the repaired glasses back with me." He looked critically at Twilight, making her shift uncomfortably. "Maybe you should take it a little easy on our patient," he suggested, handing the lenses over to her.

Twilight smiled sheepishly and brought the glasses over to the colt as a peace offering. "Sorry, I guess I'm not a very good nurse. Maybe we could start over... only this time we could both do well to think a bit more logically." She ducked her head, ashamed that she had used force against an injured pony... and a foal at that.

The colt put his glasses on and smiled at her. "Alright. I am sorry for causing you so much trouble. My name is Negi Springfield."

She smiled gently. "Twilight Sparkle. This is my assistant, Spike."

The little dragon waved at him, and the colt smiled and nodded back.

Twilight rubbed her forehead, slumping back into her seat near the bed. Her headache was getting worse. "Ugh... I'm really not cut out for this. Spike, could you bring me some tea please?"

Her assistant nodded and headed into the kitchen.

There was a nearly imperceptible knock at the door. Twilight got to her feet with a relieved sigh. "That must be Fluttershy. I could really use her help." She opened the door with a welcoming smile. "Hey there, Fluttershy, you have great timing... Why are you out of breath? What's wrong?"

The yellow pegasus was panting heavily. Her pupils were shrunk to pinpricks and she struggled to string words together. "T-t-talking... talking ermine!" she squeaked. Then she fainted on the library's doorstep.

"I Wonder if I Can Get Ermine Bucks for Contracts in Equestria?" by Chamo

"I Wonder if I Can Get Ermine Bucks for Contracts in Equestria?" by Chamo

Chamo sat silently beside the bed, watching his closest companion sleep. "How are we going to get out of this one, bro?" he muttered. He stretched himself out and sighed. At least the ponies had stopped pestering him. It seemed they had never heard of an ermine fairy before. It had taken over an hour to get them to calm down. "I guess even the ladies here can't resist me." He grinned lewdly, then sobered again as he thought again of his situation. "No tobacco, no undergarments, and a crazy rabbit after my hide? This place is nuts." The bed's occupant stirred dragging his attention back to it. "Negi!" he cried, hurling himself onto the colt.

Negi winced as the ermine slammed into his chest. "Ouch! Chamo, are you going to do this every time I wake up?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, bro, this place is just driving me nuts. I'm having some major withdrawal symptoms."

Negi nodded in agreement. "I know, I really miss Mahora and the girls too."

"S-sure, let's go with that." He looked away.

Despite his own poor condition, the young teacher noticed his friends discomfort. "Is something bothering you Chamo?" he asked.

Chamo's grip on is sanity slipped again. He grabbed hold of the colt's mane and shouted at him, "Wrong? Of course something's wrong! These stupid ponies don't smoke or wear underwear! It totally blows!"

Negi blinked at him in confusion.

"That's enough, you're aggravating the patient's condition," a cold female voice came from behind them. They both froze.

Chamo turned and offered his best disarming smile to the agitated purple unicorn standing behind them. "Sorry about that Miss Sparkle," he said formally, "It won't happen again." Despite his calm facade, inwardly the ermine squirmed at the unicorn's wrath. She had been quite... forceful with her magic when they first met, picking him up and prodding him with all sorts of diagnostic spells that made his fur stand on end.

She sighed. "Alright, just try to keep it down. This is a library after all." She turned and left the room.

Chamo waited until the clop of her hooves faded before turning back to Negi. He wiped some sweat from his brow. "Man, that horse is scary."

Negi patted him comfortingly. "She's just stressed out is all, she's really nice once you get to know her. Why don't you try talking to her?"

Chamo looked at him. "Will you be alright on your own for a while?"

"I'm not going anywhere for a while," the colt responded wryly.

"I'm sure you'll be up and about in no time." Chamo smiled at him reassuringly and jumped down from the bed. With a final look at his bed-ridden partner, he wandered off in search of the owner of the library.

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"So, you're telling me he really is a wizard from another world, you're a fairy, and the two of you are here because of that 'darkness'?" the unicorn eyed him critically. They were sitting in the kitchen having tea. Chamo had spent the past few hours laying out the major events in the lives of Negi and himself and learning general information about their new surroundings. It had taken longer than it should have since the unicorn had insisted on taking detailed notes for some reason. The long-winded scientific monologues about Equestria's magical features hadn't helped either.

Chamo sipped his tea and nodded. "That's the gist of it, Sparkles." He grinned at her cheekily.

She frowned at him, but chose not to comment. Instead she turned back to the pages of notes she had spread out in front of her. "It's rather fascinating that magic in your world is based around spoken incantations, and it explains the gibberish he was speaking earlier. It's no wonder he had trouble with spells, unicorn magic is based on internal imagery, not audible words." She shifted the papers around a bit and picked up one with her magic. "You mentioned something called 'Pactio' magic and probationary contracts before, can you tell me more about them?"

Chamo paused, the cup suspended halfway up to his mouth. He carefully placed it back down on the saucer. Slowly a grin spread across his face. "So, you want to know more about contracts? The easiest way to learn would be to enter into one yourself."

The unicorn nodded her head sagely. "Hoofs-on experience would indeed help my research. It's not everyday a pony gets to study new unknown types of magic. How exactly does one enter into a contract?"

The ermine grinned at her broadly. "Why didn't I think of this before?" he wondered. "This might be just the answer to our problems! ... I wonder if I can get ermine bucks for contracts in Equestria." He winked at the unicorn. "It's easy, baby. All you got to do is share a kiss in a magic circle and you're golden!"

The unicorn blinked, her mane sticking out in odd directions. She blinked again and her face turned a lovely shade of pink. "M-maybe it's not such a good idea to try out undocumented magic first-hoof after all." She slowly got to her feet and wandered out of the kitchen unsteadily.

Chamo watched her go, rubbing his nose. "This might take more work than I thought. Well, it beats sitting around here feeling sorry for myself." Taking a deep breath, he jumped down from the table and chased after the flummoxed unicorn.

"Walking On All Fours is Hard" by Negi

"Walking On All Fours is Hard" by Negi

The brown colt stood unsteadily on his hooves. Brow knit in concentration, he slowly lifted one fore-hoof and carefully placed it in front of him. Wobbling from side to side he made his way across the room, only to fall down halfway. "Walking on all fours is hard," Negi muttered as he got back on his feet.

Chamo popped up beside him, wearing a pair of underwear on his head. The ermine had calmed down considerably since Negi had managed to talk Rarity into making it for him. "Dude, it's not that hard, you're just psyching yourself out. Calm down and take it slow."

"I don't have time to take it slow," Negi responded, "I already spent two days in bed. We need to find the darkness so we can defeat it and get back home."

The ermine frowned and shook his head. "Defeat it with what exactly? Your tiny store of magic that you can't access at all? If you keep this up you'll just get yourself killed."

Negi looked down at the floor, trying to hold back the tears. His magic was taking a lot longer to recover than usual. It was still way below normal levels, and seemingly inaccessible. He'd been doing his best to ignore the hopelessness of his situation.

A soft paw touched his snout. Chamo was looking up at him with a concerned expression. "You know I didn't mean it like that, bro. I'm just worried about you. I want to get home as much as you do, but we can't rush this until you get your magic back."

The unicorn colt smiled at his concern, though tears still glistened at the corners of his eyes. "I know, Chamo. It's just really frustrating not to be able to do anything. My spells aren't working correctly and I don't know what else we can do."

Chamo's eyes glinted mischievously. "I have an idea, why don't you try contracting with one of the ponies? Pactio works differently from other spells and doesn't take much energy to activate, so it may work now."

Negi's eyes widened, and he took a involuntary step backwards. "You want me to kiss a horse?" he asked shrilly.

Chamo waved a dismissive paw at him. "Pony, and they're not that bad. I've been talking to Sparkles the past few days, and she's willing to help us out."

"Why would she do that?" he asked, frowning.

"She studies magic for a living, why wouldn't she be interested? You've done it plenty of times already, so what's the problem?" Chamo crossed his arms and stared pointedly at the nervous colt.

Negi squirmed under the ermine's gaze. "... Nothing I guess," he said after a few awkward moments.

"Sweet, let me go get her." Chamo dashed out of the room with a wide grin on his face.

"I wonder what exactly he said to her," Negi muttered to himself.

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"It's good to see you up and about, I was really worried," Twilight said. The purple unicorn smiled at Negi.

He swallowed hard, trying to hide his discomfort. "So, Chamo told you about the contract?" he asked.

Twilight nodded. "Yes, he mentioned a magic circle, energy flows, and ritualistic osculation."

Negi blinked. "What was that last part?"

Chamo hopped up on his back and whispered, "She's uncomfortable with calling it a 'kiss', so she's using scientific terms for it."

For some reason, knowing that Twilight was nervous as well helped him to calm down. He got into position in front of her and nodded to Chamo.

"Alright then, Pactio!" the ermine raised a paw in the air and activated the magic circle.

Negi closed his eyes and leaned forward. When Twilight's lips met his, he found them unnervingly similar to those of the girls back home. He broke away as soon as he could and opened his eyes. He looked into the eyes of the purple pony in front of him and found himself wondering how she managed to blush through her fur. He turned to Chamo, who was grinning smugly. "Did it work?" he asked.

"It seemed to," the ermine replied, giving him a thumbs up. "Why don't you test it out?"

Negi shrugged and began the spell. Unlike his previous attempts, he could feel the power flowing around him as he spoke the incantation. "Maybe this will work after all," he thought. His hope did not last long. The magic surged, he heard Twilight cry out, and his consciousness fled.

"Put Me Down You Crazy Bluebird!" by Chamo

"Put Me Down You Crazy Bluebird!" by Chamo

"Well, this certainly didn't turn out as planned," Chamo said, rubbing the back of his head. He stared down at the two unconscious unicorns in front of him for a moment before running up to the smaller one and tapping him on the snout. "Negi, are you okay?"

The colt did not respond, though his breathing was even and he showed no signs of damage from his impact with the floor after he passed out mid-spell.

Chamo began pacing back and forth. "Alright I gotta think this through. What could have happened? There was obviously a magical overload of some sort, but why? There's no way I could have messed up the pactio. This place's crazy magic must have interfered with the spell. Yeah that's it, it's not done messing up my life." Tears filled the ermine's eyes. "Oh to return to the carefree days at Mahora... I'd even take Asuna's attacks over this nuthouse."

The front door of the library slammed open, and a blue pegasus flew in. "Twilight, what were all those crazy lights about--" The mare took in the scene before her with a quick glance, eyes lingering on her prone friend. Her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. In the time it took him to blink, Chamo found himself hanging upside down by his tail in the angry pony's grasp. "Alright you little weasel, what did you do to Twilight?" she demanded.

"I-it wasn't my fault, there was an accident with the spell," the ermine spluttered. "And I'm not a weasel!"

The pegasus snorted and shook him a bit, making him swing back and forth like a pendulum. "Yeah right. I heard how you scared Fluttershy, you slimy weasel. There's no way I'm going to believe you."

"Read my lips, I'm an ermine! I'm way bigger and more manly than some scrawny weasel. I didn't do anything wrong, so put me down you crazy bluebird!" Chamo's face was turning red from the blood rushing to his head.

"Why you little..." the pony bared her teeth at him.

Just then, the front door opened and Spike walked into the library carrying a small package. "Twilight, I got that book you wanted," he said. The little dragon blinked and looked around. "What the hay happened here? Why are the two of playing games while Twilight and Negi are laying on the floor?"

The blue pony dropped Chamo unceremoniously on his head and turned to the dragon, wings flared in anger. "You call this 'playing'? I'm trying to help Twilight! I'm interrogating this sorry lump of fur. How could you leave such an untrustworthy creature alone with Twilight, just to run a stupid errand?" She jabbed an accusing hoof at the package Spike had set down on the floor.

Spike crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow. "So, Rainbow, your idea of helping Twilight is leaving her passed out on the ground, possibly injured, while you beat up small mammals?"

The pegasus cast her eyes down towards the floor and shuffled her hooves. "I-I just... " she muttered, a slight blush rising on her muzzle.

Spike sighed. "Just help me get these two into bed, and then go get Fluttershy."

The blue pony nodded and flew over to her friend, picking her up gently and flying her upstairs to the bedroom.

"Her name's 'Rainbow', and she thinks the term 'bluebird' is insulting?" Chamo thought to himself, watching the pony as she returned to pick up Negi. The pony glanced his way and he froze under her harsh gaze.

"This isn't over, weasel," she said icily. Flicking her tail at him, she carried the young wizard upstairs.

"I'm not a weasel. Still, I'm glad that dragon was around to keep Bluebird in her place." Chamo muttered to himself as he made his own way up the stairs, albeit at a much slower pace. "These stupid ponies make their stairs too high," he grumbled ans he pulled himself up the steps.

Panting and shaking, he finally made it to the top of the stairs. He hurried into the bedroom and climbed up the bedspread to sit beside his friend. He quietly watched the pony sleep for a while, eyes filled with unshed tears. The slow rise and fall of the colt's chest was almost hypnotic. Chamo bowed his head. "I was in so much of a hurry to get out of here that I ended up pushing Negi into a dangerous situation," he thought. He smiled ruefully. "Sometimes I forget that my 'big brother' is so much younger than I am." Chamo patted the colt's cheek. "Sorry, bro, seems like I just set us back a step," he said softly. The shape under the covers moved, and Negi groaned. "Negi!" Chamo cried, reaching out towards his beloved friend. The colt bolted upright, sending the bedspread and the ermine sitting on it flying across the room with a stray bolt of magic.

Author's Note

I've been working on Pactio cards for Twilight, and while I have a pretty clear idea in mind for her dud card, I need help deciding on the Rare and Cosplay cards. Please refer to the accompanying blog post in order to submit your ideas.

Edit: Added a line to Chamo's dialogue in order to tie this and the following chapter together better.

"How Odd..." by Negi

"How Odd... " by Negi

Negi sat up slowly and blinked his eyes. He looked around the room until he spotted a small white figure in the corner, swaddled in blankets. "Chamo, what are you doing?" he asked.

The ermine groaned in response before slowly sitting upright. "Oh just taking a break. This place can really make you tired and-- What do you think I'm doing! You blasted me into the air, after I poured out my heart to you." The ermine put his paws over his face dramatically. He made loud sobbing noises that seemed very unrealistic.

Negi scratched his head. "How odd... " he muttered to himself. He turned his focus inwards and froze. His magic levels were back to normal. "That's impossible," he said to himself. "If anything my magic should be down a bit after activating a contract."

Chamo seemed to have gotten bored with his fake tears and climbed up into the bed next to him. "I've got an idea, bro." He pulled out a piece of paper and a crayon and started to draw on it. "Alright, so normally when you activate a Pactio the power flows from you into your partner, right?" He held up the drawing for Negi to see, using the crayon as a makeshift pointer.

Negi blinked at the picture. It depicted two lopsided stick figures, one carrying a stick and the other wearing a skirt. Chamo had drawn an arrow pointing from the staff wielding figure to his companion. He decided not to criticize Chamo's drawings. The ermine could be surprisingly sensitive about his faults at times. He merely nodded his head in agreement.

Chamo nodded sagely and continued. Somehow the ermine had found a pair of glasses to perch on the end of his nose in the short time that Negi had been examining his drawing. "Now you've contracted with a lot of girls up to now but none of them had any magic of their own."

"What about Setsuna?"

Chamo shifted from foot to foot and frowned. "Err... she doesn't count. That's weird ninja stuff, not magic." He shook his head and puffed out his chest as he launched back into his lecture. "Anyways, as I was saying, you haven't contracted with any powerful magic users up til now. Now Sparkles is known around here as the "magical element" or something. It's probably mostly hype, but you'd have to assume that she has at least a fair bit of power to back it up, right?"

Negi nodded.

"Now since your on magic has been... lacking lately it's safe to say that your magic levels were probably lower than hers. As a result, the power flowed the opposite way and shorted out the connection." He scribbled out the first arrow and drew one that pointed in the opposite direction. "I'd think it will recover soon enough, but if not we could always try it again."

Negi glanced over at the prone form of Twilight lying on her bed nearby. The unicorn twitched and groaned in her sleep. Shaking his head he replied, "No, I don't want to put her through all that again. Now that my magic is back to normal, we should be fine, right?"

The ermine crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at Negi.

"We'll figure something out," Negi said hastily as he climbed out of bed. "I'm going downstairs to get something to drink."

"W-wait a minute, I don't think that's a good idea!" Chamo called after him as he trotted down the stairs.

Negi shook his head. "Sometimes I think Chamo is a little too eager to make me contract with someone. I wonder why." His thoughts were interrupted by a blue blur streaking across the room. A pair of hooves pinned Negi to the wall. An angry pair of magenta eyes stared at him from mere inches away.

"Alright you miniature 'wizard' weirdo, what did you do to Twilight?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm really sorry about that," Negi said, ears drooping as he slouched into the couch he was sitting on. "You just startled me is all, and I reacted... rather badly."

The blue pegasus just scowled at him and rubbed the lump on her head that was her souvenir from an unplanned magical flight into a nearby bookcase, courtesy of the young wizard. She was sitting in a chair as far from him as possible.

"That's alright, it was an accident," Spike replied in the pony's stead. He was busy picking up the books that had been knocked loose by Rainbow's cranium smacking into the hardwood. "Rainbow Dash shouldn't have jumped you after you just woke up from a major accident." He frowned at the pegasus as he walked over to sit next to the young wizard.

The mare turned away from him, wings drooping slightly. She muttered something under her breath that might remotely be considered an apology.

"You should have Fluttershy look at it when she gets here," Spike said to her, shaking his head. He then leaned closer to Negi. "Don't be too hard on her please," he whispered to the colt. "Dash may be the element of Loyalty, but she can take things a little too far sometimes."

Negi nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm glad to see we're all buddy buddy now," Chamo drawled as he sauntered down the stairs. "So, what do you say, Bluebird, you want to enter into a Pactio and help us out, or just sit there like a lump?"

Rainbow Dash twitched and her wings flared open. "Are you calling me a coward?" she asked icily.

"Maybe... since I know you won't try to turn me into a fur coat with your friends here." He jerked his head towards the little dragon, who sat frozen alongside Negi as they watched the heated exchange.

The pegasus' head snapped around. "That's it," she said. In a flash she was up and heading across the room.

Unfortunately for Negi and Spike, they were in the angry mare's way. In her haste to get her hooves on Chamo, she shoved past them with quite a bit of force. Since they were still seated close together, the impact closed what little distance they had between them. Negi's eyes widened as he felt something cool and scaly meet his lips. He looked into the eyes of an equally panicked baby dragon. His vision began to gray around the edges. Despite the ringing in his ears, he heard a muffled shout of "Pactio!" Then all conscious thought came to a screeching hault.

Author's Note

Sorry that this update took so darn long. I wasn't able to get on much during Christmas break... my parents are cracking down on my "unhealthy obsession with ponies", so I wasn't able to sneak online long enough to do more than check my email and drop a few comments. Well enough of my whining, back to the story. I had a lot of fun with this chapter, and hopefully I did well... sorry but I couldn't resist the ending. Still looking for input on Pactio cards. I haven't gotten much feedback on Twilight and now we have a second set to fill. I don't plan to Pactio all the ponies. I had originally only planned for Twilight to be Negi's partner, but now I'm trying to cap it at three. We'll see how long that lasts...

P.S. Equestria Daily annoys me. The individual who reviewed my story had never even heard of Negima, and called my work "a crossover that never should have happened". I know I'm no writing genius, but still I don't put much faith in an individual who has the nerve to call Negi a bland O.C.

"Did the Darkness Just... " by Negi

"Did the Darkness Just..." by Negi

"This is so boring," Chamo muttered.

"Shh! You're being rude," Negi shushed him and returned his attention back to the chalkboard.

The ermine grumbled, then curled up into a ball and fell asleep.

Ever since Twilight had woken up after the accident the day before, the librarian had begun to take Negi's claims more seriously. She had taken it upon herself to teach him the basics of unicorn magic and despite Chamo's objections, the lectures had been quite interesting. Still it chaffed a little, feeling like he was back in magic academy all over again.

At least Twilight was an eager teacher. She had spent a good portion of the night gathering material together for this lecture and so far was powering through quite a bit of material. Already it was late afternoon and she showed little sign of slowing down. Despite his skill in the area, Negi's head was beginning to spin as he tried to absorb it all.

Luckily, Spike wandered in to the 'lecture hall' Twilight had set up in the library's main room. "Uh, Twilight, don't you think that's enough for today? You two have been at it since breakfast."

The purple unicorn paused and frowned at him for a moment.

He pointed to the clock and raised an eyebrow.

Twilight glanced at it and blinked a few times. "It's that late? No wonder my throat is so sore. I guess I just lost track of time." She rubbed a hoof across her throat and smiled sheepishly.

Spike rolled his eyes and handed her a lozenge.

The studious unicorn popped it into her mouth and wrapped her assistant in a tight hug. "Thanks, Spike. You're the greatest number one assistant anypony could have," she cooed.

The dragon grumbled and pulled away but he was smiling while he did so. "If you're that grateful, you'll take me out to eat tonight so I don't have to cook for everyone again."

Twilight smiled. "Sure thing. We can-"

She was interrupted by a loud thud that shook the library.

Chamo fell off the arm of the chair he was dozing on and landed on his head. "Where's the elephant?" he muttered blearily.

"What was that?" Negi asked.

Twilight sighed. "Probably just Rainbow Dash crashing into the door. Again." The grumpy purple pony tromped over and yanked the door open. "Rainbow, what do you think you're... oh sweet Celestia!" A lasso flew into the library and wrapped around the frightened unicorn, whisking her away.

"Twilight!" the three boys cried in shock and dashed to the door to look outside. They gasped at what they saw.

The darkness hovered in front of the library. Seated on top of it were three ponies, their eyes blazing red. There was a grey pegasus, a mint green unicorn, and an orange pony with a cowboy hat. The orange one had a rope in her teeth which passed through the cloud and wrapped around Twilight dangling below it. "Applejack, why are you doing this? Please let me go," the purple unicorn begged, tears streaming down her face.

"No dice, Sparkles!" Chamo yelled. "She's been possessed by the darkness. You just gotta beat some sense into her."

Twilight frowned and began firing blasts of magic from her horn at the cloud. She managed to punch a few holes in it but they kept closing up. She gritted her teeth and charged up her horn. "I got this," she said. The determined mare didn't notice the possessed unicorn floating behind her.

"Twilight, look out!" Negi cried out, but it was too late.

Before Twilight could even turn, she was hit in the back of the neck my a small bolt of lightning. Her body stiffened and the spell she was working on blinked out of existence. With a strangled cry, the unicorn fell limp against her bindings.

"Twilight!" Spike screamed angrily. He aimed his snout at the smirking mint pony and shot fire at her. The unicorn sidestepped it midair and yawned, mocking his attempts to thwart her.

"Foolish lizard," the three dark ponies intoned together, "you cannot defeat us."

Spike growled and tried again, but the cloud and the ponies merely floated higher up out of his reach.

The possessed ponies laughed at his failure as Spike fell to his knees sobbing. "Why can't I ever do anything right?" he cried.

Chamo hopped up on top of the despondent dragon's head. "Whoa, calm down scale-face," the ermine said. "Lucky of you, my quick wit has made it so that your little accident yesterday can be used to our advantage. Negi!"

The colt blinked. He had been staring numbly ever since he saw Twilight go limp. He shook his head, trying to clear it. Without his other spells, there was the only thing he could do in this situation. Steeling himself, he activated the pactio.

"What the hay?" Spike cried in terror as he was lifted into the air. "What's going on?"

Negi was too busy with his spell to answer the dragon. He just focused on the magic and prayed it would all go right for once. The magic flowed through him, faster than it had the day before. The magic words rolled off his lips and he was met with a familiar sensation as the spell completed. Opening his eyes, he looked down at a black card he was somehow holding in his hoof. He smiled.

"Sweet, rare card!" Chamo hooted. He rubbed his chin as he looked over the transformed dragon. "A bit ironic, but it works."

"Whoa. This feels awesome," the dragon said. Spike had grown about a few feet in height and was wearing a full suit of armor. The metal had a golden tint to it and its accents matched his spines. The armor was normal, save for a purple belt wrapped around his middle, which contained several pockets. He poked at them. "What's this?" he asked.

"Probably your artifact. Now use it!" Chamo commanded as the possessed pegasus swooped towards him.

"How?" Spike asked. He turned towards the ermine and the pegasus swept past him and into the side of the library. He turned around and blinked at the grey pony.

Negi stared at the grey pegasus as it flipped its yellow mane out of its eyes and charged Spike again. It missed and crashed into the mint unicorn. The two went down in a tangle of limbs that crashed into a nearby bush.

Chamo face-palmed. "Seriously, I don't know what's worse, you or that pony's aim. Why don't you just get Sparkles down while those two are busy?"

Spike nodded. With his new height, he reached up and grabbed Twilight, snapping the rope with his claws. He placed the unconscious unicorn in the library and shut the door. When he turned around, the possessed ponies had sorted themselves out and were preparing a three-pronged attack against the dragon.

"Use the artifact!" Chamo shouted from the sidelines.

Reaching into one of the pockets, Spike frowned as he pulled out a handful of green powder. "What am I supposed to do with this?" he asked. The dragon shrugged and threw it at the approaching ponies. It fluttered to the ground. Spike swallowed hard. "G-guess that wasn't it," he said. The three mares continued to approach him, grinning manically. Eyes wide and knees knocking, the dragon backed away until he ran into the side of the library. The enemy laughed at him and approached him leisurely as if enjoying his suffering. Their hooves pounded the powder, kicking it up into a cloud around them. The green dust only added to their eerie appearance.

Negi frowned. He took a step forward.

Chamo grabbed his leg. "Are you crazy, bro? Or did you just forget you don't have any spells right now?" the ermine asked.

Negi shook him off. "I can't just sit here," he said as he looked over at the cowering dragon. "I have to try."

"But-" Chamo began.

"ACHOO!" went the pegaus.

The wizard and his companion looked on in confusion as the grey pony went into a sneezing fit. The two other minions seemed just as puzzled, but also annoyed. The cloud overhead shuddered. A tendril of black smoke flew out of the pegasus's head and rejoined the main cloud. The grey pony blinked and her eyes turned yellow before the pony went cross-eyed and fell on her side. Chamo and Negi watched numbly as the two remaining ponies rolled the pegasus out of their way and glared down at her.

The grey pony blinked. "Hey, Applejack, whatcha doing?" she asked. "Achoo!"

Chamo blinked. "T-that..." he stuttered.

"Did the darkness just... unposses her on its own?" Negi asked dumbly.

The ermine nodded mutely.

"Uh, guys? Little help?" Spike called tentatively. The two remaining evil ponies were standing above him. The dragon opened his mouth and shot a shaky trail of flame.

"FOOMP!"

The green power exploded in a wall of flame which engulfed the possessed ponies as well as the dark cloud hovering above them. The darkness shrieked in pain and retreated, leaving behind a pair of dazed, soot covered mares. Everything was silent as the ponies all stood there blinking.

"Huh. So that's what its for." Spike said. His armor disappeared and the dragon shrunk back down to his normal size. "Ugh... hungry," he muttered as he fell on his side.

In a flash of color, Rainbow Dash arrived on the scene. "What's going on?" she demanded. "I saw this flash of light and... wow." She looked down at the dragon laying on its side, the sneezing grey pegasus, and the two mares who were only now starting to notice their surroundings.

"W-what in tarnation? This isn't mah farm," the orange pony said. She began to sweep the soot form her coat.

"Bon Bon? Where are you?" the unicorn wandered off, leaving black hoofprints behind her.

Chamo looked up at the blue mare and frowned. "Where were you, Bluebird? We could've really used your help five minutes ago." His eyes lit up and he smiled. "Say... maybe there is something you can help out with after all."

Negi frowned. He didn't like where this was going...

"Negi could use another pactio," Chamo said. "You seem a lot more capable than the lizard."

Spike looked up from the cookie he'd found to munch on. "Hey!" he protested.

Chamo ignored him. "Just one little pactio and you get magic powers and a sweet costume to help us fight evil and protect the town. What do you say?"

Rainbow Dash landed in front of him. "Super powers huh? Well, I'm already pretty super, but adding a few more powers sounds cool," she said. "Particularly if it means helping to protect Ponyville. What do I need to do?"

"Just stand next to Negi and I'll get the magic circle ready," Chamo said. "Pactio!"

The familiar light flashed up around Negi's feet. He sighed internally. Chamo sure liked to rush things at times.

"Hah! It tickles! Now what?" Rainbow asked.

"Just lean forward and kiss him," Chamo said.

"W-w-what?" Rainbow Dash spluttered. She glared at the ermine. "What do you take me for? I'm not a foal-fooler!"

Chamo rolled his eyes. "Seriously what's with girls? It's just one kiss. Don't be such a baby."

Dash bared her teeth at him.

"Didn't you say you wanted to help save Ponyville?" the ermine asked.

Rainbow Dash shuffled her hooves. "Yeah..."

"Then get to the smooching!"

"But-"

"Oh! I'll do it!" A chipper voice called.

Negi blinked as a pair of lips met his.

They didn't belong to the rainbow-maned pegasus, but to a grey one with skewed yellow eyes.

Author's Note

After a longer than predicted hiatus Negima is back on track. Kind of funny when the fic you put on the back burner gets more views and favorites than your new work... Well, at least it means folks like this story. Those who were worried about chapter length will be delighted to know that the next few chapters will be longer than usual since I don't need to change viewpoints as often anymore. Please feel free to comment and point out errors and whatnot since this story is raw (i.e., no editor).

"We're Doomed." by Chamo

"We're Doomed." by Chamo

"Remind me again why we're doing this," Twilight Sparkle said flatly.

"Come on, Sparkles. Out of all of us, you need this the most. You're so inexperienced," Chamo replied, patting her leg.

She glared at him for a while, then looked away. The bookish mare sighed. "Fine."

"Alright!" Chamo cheered. He turned to Negi. "Get going, bro. Make it good."

Negi nodded and activated the pactios of his partners.

As the glow of the transformation sequence faded, Chamo inspected the results with a practiced eye. "Nice. All cosplay cards."

Twilight was dressed in a magical girl outfit. Chamo was surprised to find that it worked quite well on her; the lacy pink fabric, the oversized bow, and the stupid hat looked good on a pony. Who knew? She was holding a long, clear, glass-like spear in her magic field, inspecting it carefully.

"What's this for?" she asked.

"That's your artifact. Just test it out and we'll see how it goes," the ermine responded.

"What does it do?"

"No idea."

She frowned at him, looking over the ermine carefully as if she expected him to say 'psyche!' and laugh. Instead he moved on to the next pactio partner.

Spike was wearing a mask and a dashing red cape. His artifact, the pouch of flammable powder, hung around his neck. He reminded Chamo of a character from one of those American movies that he and Negi had seen a while back. 'What was it called again? Zango? Zorri?' the ermine wondered to himself as his gaze drifted to the next pony in line.

Derpy was wearing a blue hat and had a satchel over one shoulder. Chamo frowned at her. 'Bleh. It's even lamer than Nodaka's cosplay outfit!' he thought to himself. The ermine blinked as he noticed something was missing from her costume. "Where's your artifact?" he asked.

The grey pony tapped her chin and scrunched up her nose, humming to herself. Just as it was getting to the point where Chamo was ready to start holding his ears and screaming like a lunatic, she stopped and smiled at him. "I dunno. How about this?" The pegasus reached into her satchel and stuffed a muffin in his mouth. She offered one to Negi, who shook his head politely.

Chamo flailed about, gasping and choking as he tried to dislodge the enormous object from his windpipe. Negi patted him on the back as he coughed. "T-t-that works I guess," he wheezed.

Climbing to his feet, he noticed another pony had joined them. The blue pegasus was hovering lazily above them smirking at Twilight and her frilly outfit. He smiled at her. "Hey there, Bluebird. Come to join the party?" he asked. 'Finally!' he thought, 'Someone actually useful to have around!'

Rainbow shook her head. "Nah. I'm just here to watch." She smirked at the unicorn. "Nice dress. Heh."

The manly ermine fairy sighed. "Seriously?" He jumped up on Negi's back and clapped his paws. "Alright, ladies, let's take a crack at those targets," he commanded, pointing across the field to a line of crude wooden figures. He leaned over towards Negi's ear. "Remember, Bro, no helping. They need to learn to stand on their own two... er, four feet," he whispered.

The young mage nodded, but his expression was worried.

Chamo gave him a reasuring pat, then looked down to find an angry dragon staring at him.

"Hey!" Spike protested once he was certain he had the ermine's attention. "We're not all mares you know."

Chamo raised an eyebrow. "You're seriously going to say that after what happened yesterday?"

Spike glared at the ermine. He only stopped when Twilight cleared her throat and shook her head. Grumbling, the dragon made his way slowly towards the nearest target, his cape billowing behind him. He reached into the pouch and pulled out a handful of powder. "I'll show you," he grumbled. With a sharp exhalation, the dragon blew the powder from his hand towards the target, quickly following it with a burst of flame.

The grass around the target caught on fire.

Spike screamed and started running back and forth. "What do I do, what do I do?"

Twilight looked up from where she had been clumsily poking at her own target with her new spear. She frowned at the panicking dragon. "Spiiiike!" she groaned.

"H-help!" the drake cried, swatting at the flames, which only made them burn all the more brightly. His erratic movements caused more powder to fall out of the pouch he was clutching, which only further aggravated the problem.

Derpy looked up from where she had been pelting her own target with an endless barrage of baked goods. "I'll do it!" She said, flying off. She returned shortly, pushing a cloud into the clearing. The mare then positioned it directly above the burning circle of grass. She adjusted the cap on her head and frowned in concentration. Jumping up and down on the cloud, she was rewarded with a short flurry of snow and a few stray lightning bolts. She looked down at the lightning seared dragon, the snow-covered (but otherwise untouched) target, and the merrily burning ring of flames. "Oops," she said. "Guess I grabbed the wrong cloud. My bad."

Off to the side, a rainbow-maned pegasus rolled in the grass, snorting with laughter and making no move to help.

Twilight sighed. She strapped her spear into its sheathe at her side and walked over to the blaze. She lit up her horn and a sharp gust of air blew the flames out like an oversized candle. She rolled her eyes at the baby dragon as he tried to wipe the soot off his face. "And the weasel said I'm the one who needs practice? Ha!" she said smugly. Smiling, she headed back towards her target. The spear strapped to her side slid slightly, digging into the ground.

Twilight then received some firsthoof experience in pole vaulting.

Chamo blinked at the mare as she lay with her horn stuck in the ground and her limbs splayed about, knocked out by her unplanned attempt to enter a new sport. "We're doomed," he groaned, cradling his head in his paws.

Negi nodded mutely.

Chamo sighed. "Guess it's time for a group meeting."

Author's Note

I know I said the chapters would be longer, but this is merely an intermission. We don't really need 3k words of fluff right? ... Right? eep...

Shameless self promotion time! If you like anime/manga, I have a new Fruits Basket crossover, which you can find here.

"We Aren't Afraid of You!" by Negi

"We Aren't Afraid of You!" by Negi

"We Aren't Afraid of You!" by Negi

Negi sat in the middle of the library with Derpy, Spike, and the Elements of Harmony as they all watched an argument unfold between the Element of Magic and the ermine fairy.

"I don't see why we can't just-" Twilight began.

"No," Chamo said flatly.

"But-"

"No! You want to get us all killed, Sparkles?"

The librarian stomped her hoof. "I'm trying to prevent everypony from being killed! The princess could-"

"The last thing we need is queen sunny-butt getting herself possessed," the ermine said snappily.

The lavender mare narrowed her eyes. "What did you call her?" she asked icily. Teeth bared, she approached him stiffly.

The fairy blinked. He started sweating heavily. "Err... nothing," he squeaked. He swallowed hard as he looked up into the narrowed eyes of the purple unicorn. She grinned at him. He turned to run, only to be caught up in her energy field.

"Nopony says bad things about the Princess on my watch. Now you're in for it." Twilight smiled and her horn brightened.

"What... no. He he he! S-stop. He he ha hee! I'm s-s-soreeeehehe. Negi! Help! He he."

Negi shook his head as he watched the ermine crumble under Twilight's horrible tickle torture. "You really did bring this upon yourself, Chamo." He cleared his throat. "But he does have a point, Miss Twilight. If the darkness manages to possess someone as powerful as you tell me the princesses are, we'll all be in hot water."

Twilight looked over at him and frowned. She sighed and released Chamo from her spell. The ermine fell to the ground, where he lay twitching and giggling. The mare sighed. "I-I know. I just... "

"I imagine it's hard for her not to come rushing in to help as well," the young wizard added. "I imagine she's aware of the danger. Why else would she send an entire platoon of guards to help evacuate Ponyville?"

She smiled at him gently. "I know. At least she sent us the Elements of Harmony."

"Speaking of elements, why're we here? Shouldn't we be looking for the darkness so we can kick its flank and everyone can go home?" Rainbow Dash cut in.

"It's simple, Bluebird," Chamo said. He'd finally managed to recover from the magical assault. "We're here so the rest of you lovely ladies can enter a pactio with my man Negi! Then the darkness can't hurt ya."

The blue pony snorted. "There's no way that stupid cloud could possess someone as awesome as me. Why should I bother with something so lame? I can handle this without your stupid pactico."

"Ah don't know, Rainbow," Applejack cut in. "Ah sure wasn't able to help mahself when that stuff got me in it's clutches." She sighed and looked at the purple unicorn. "Sorry about what ah did, Twilight."

The bookworm shook her head. "It wasn't your fault."

The vibrant pink pony, who had energetically introduced herself as Pinkie Pie, popped up between them and wrapped the two mares in a tight hug. "Yeah! It was the blackness that made you a meanie pants!" She turned to Rainbow. "Come on, Dashie. You don't need to be scared of a little kiss!"

"Wha... I'm not scared!" the speedster spluttered. Her cheeks flared bright red and she started to fidget.

"Wooo! Then let's do this!" The party pony cheered. "Is everypony ready?"

"Not yet, darling," Rarity said, pointing to a shivering yellow ball of fur trying to hide behind the sofa. "Come on, dear. I know you don't like this idea, but it seems this is what we have to do to save Ponyville," the elegant mare said, prodding the timid pony.

The yellow pony squeaked.

Pinkie hopped over and pulled her out. "Come on, Fluttershy, this will be fun! Just a quick peck and we all get super powers!" She shoved the frightened pegasus in Negi's face.

"But...eep," the yellow pony protested and hid behind her mane.

Looking at her, Negi was struck be her similarity to another girl he knew. A blush spread across his face. "I-if it helps, I'm nervous too," he whispered to her. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and smiled. Negi froze like a deer in the headlights. The mare leaned forward and kissed him, her lips brushing gently over his.

"Pactio!" Chamo shouted.

Rainbow smirked. "Whoa! Nice going there, Fluttershy. I didn't know you were that forward."

Fluttershy turned bright red and hid behind the sofa again.

"OOOH! Me next!" Pinkie popped into view and picked him up. She kissed him full on the mouth, long and hard. As he struggled to breathe, he distantly heard Chamo activating the pactio. "Hehe! I feel all fuzzy!" she said. The pink pony put him down and bounced off, leaving the mage lying on his side, gasping for breath.

"Really, dear, I think you went a little overboard," Rarity said. She picked Negi up with her magic, helping him get back on his hooves. Her kiss was gentle but firm, and precisely timed. As the fashionista returned to her seat, gently cleaning her face with a handkerchief, Negi got the distinct impression that someone was giving him the evil eye.

Before he could process the thought any further, Applejack approached him with a bashful grin. "Jus' don't tell Granny 'bout this," she said. The cowpony's kiss was akin to one that might be delivered to a family member. She blushed a bit, but tipped her hat to hide it as she returned to her spot.

All eyes turned to the last remaining pony without a contract (apart from the grey pegasus, who only had eyes for the muffin she was eating).

Rainbow Dash fidgeted under the combined weight of their stares before finally shouting "Alright already!" She zipped down and gave him a quick peck before returning to her post. It was a good thing that Chamo was quick on the draw, since the entire thing was over in the blink of an eye.

"Sweet! All pactios are complete!" Chamo declared, waving a pair of fans. Pinkie and Derpy quickly joined him in celebrating.

"So now what?" Rainbow asked.

A loud roar echoed through the abandoned town.

"You had to ask," Twilight said flatly as everyone raced for the door.

A large shadow hovered over Ponyville. It looked like an oversized timberwolf, but it had the tail of a manticore and its entire body was pulsing with dark energy. Long black tendrils out of its back and its red glowing eyes were scanning the town for life. Evidently it did not like what it saw, because on of the tendrils slammed into a building, breaking its support beams like toothpicks. "Where are you, little mage?" it howled. "Show yourself, or I will keep tearing this place to the ground until I find you." To illustrate its point it struck out with its tail and reduced a nearby marble fountain to rubble.

"Over here, you overgrown weed!" Rainbow yelled, calling its attention to them. The town's defenders had positioned themselves on a hill just outside Ponyville in an attempt to keep collateral damage to a minimum. The beast roared and approached them, its view focused solely on the young mage at the back of the group. "Prepare to die, little one," it rumbled.

"Not if we can help it!" Twilight declared. "Come on, girls. Let's give him a taste of the magic of frinedship!" The five other mares quickly got into position around her, their golden necklaces glowing brightly.

The creature smirked at them. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," it said. "You never know who might get hurt." Opening a panel in its head, it leaned down to show them the contents.

Everyone gasped. Wrapped in black vines, their eyes glowing red, were three little fillies. There was an orange pegasus, a yellow earth pony, and a little white unicorn.

"Sweetie Bell!" Rarity shrieked. "Give me back my sister you brute!"

"Applebloom!" Applejack cried. She stomped the ground shaking. "Dammit. I shoulda been there fer her..." she whispered. Glaring up at the beast, she shook her hoof at it. "Ah'll get you fer this!"

A technicolor streak of light zipped towards the monster. "I'm coming, Squirt!" Rainbow Dash called. The panel closed and she smacked against the hard wooden surface. "Open up!" she demanded, smacking her hooves against the surface. A tentacle lazily smacked her out of the sky.

The creature laughed. "Come, little mage. Enough distractions. Show me what you've got." It sat down with a bored expression, waiting for the group's next attack.

Rainbow pulled herself out of the shallow crater her impact with the ground had made, rubbing her head. "Ugh... now what?" she asked.

"Now we see what those pactios can do!" Chamo declared.

Negi nodded and activated the pactios.

As the light from the transformation cleared Negi and his partners examined the fruits of their labors. The Elements of Harmony were all dressed in matching gold armor. It looked similar to the armor worn by the guards who had evacuated the town, only with a few notable differences. The center of the chest-piece glowed with the stones from the Elements of Harmony, and each mare had their own head gear and weapon.

Rainbow Dash wore the traditional guard helmet, though her chromatic mane stuck up through the spot where the tassel would normally be. Metal bands ran along the edges of her wings. When she reached out to touch them she winced. Her hoof started bleeding—the edge was very sharp.

Fluttershy wore a headband made of woven twigs. Her weapon was a short staff with vines wrapped around it. When she waved it, the wand glowed faint yellow color. The small cut on Rainbow Dash's hoof disappeared, earning a grateful smile from the blue pegasus.

Rarity wore a small tiara, also bearing her cutie mark, behind her horn. A number of sharp diamond shards hovered around her. They seemed to be directed with little magical effort on her part. She looked them over with a glint in her eye, inspecting one closely as it lay in her hoof.

Applejack still wore her stetson, though her normal hair bands had been replaced with gold ones. The metal shoes on her hind legs ran all the way up to her hock. When she kicked a nearby boulder, it shattered into a cloud of fine particles. Adjusting her hat, she set her jaw in a determined frown.

Pinkie Pie wore a gold headband that was desperately struggling to hold her wild mane in a mild semblance of order. No matter how hard he stared, Negi couldn't seem to locate her weapon. The pink pony's inability to hold still only made the search harder. He eventually just gave up and allowed his gaze to move on to his next partner.

Twilight was wearing her elemental tiara. After hours of practice, she had unlocked the mystery of her spear. Aiming it at a patch of weeds nearby, she squeezed its handle in just the right place. A white beam of light shot out of the spear's point. When it hit the plants, they were instantly frozen in a block of ice. The unicorn beamed, proud of her weapon mastery.

"Nice! All rare cards! ... Well mostly," Chamo said.

Spike had received a cosplay card. He didn't seem to mind. He was busy starring at Rarity. The drake's mouth was open slightly and he was drooling. Negi shook his head. He had a pretty good idea now of the origin of the evil eye from earlier.

Derpy had received a dud card. She was dressed as a rock. It took Negi a few long moments to come to terms with it. Blinking didn't make the boulder with four stumpy legs and a blonde-maned head sticking out of it go away. He shrugged. They had more important things to worry about.

The group turned their gaze towards their opponent, whom had been waiting patiently, albeit with a bored expression. When it noticed them glaring at it, the beast stood up and yawned. "Are you through stalling?" it asked in an uninterested tone.

Rainbow flared her wings and snorted at his dismissive attitude. "Bring it, you creep!" she growled.

"We aren't afraid of you!" Negi said firmly.

"Umm.. I am," Fluttershy squeaked.

The dark golem snorted in amusement. "Very well. I shall enjoy crushing you all." It raised one mighty paw and the battle began.

Author's Note

Coming up with costumes is hard...
Next chapter we'll see how badly I can mess up a fight scene! Wooo!
Sweet Celestia, help me...

"Nobody Hurts My Friends!" by Negi

The following sheer awesomeness is brought to you by HellRyden, the best cowriter ever!

"Nobody Hurts My Friends!" by Negi

Rainbow Dash didn’t waste a second. Before the timber wolf king had even finished his sentence, she was already in the air, and she streaked forward like a missile as he brought his paw down in an effort to crush them.

It never reached the ground. Before it was even halfway down, Rainbow Dash undercut his blow, and streaked past his elbow, her blade-wings flaring out at the same time. There was the sound of shattering wood, and the wolf king howled as he pulled his foreleg back, cradling the wounded limb close.

“All right, take that you big jerk!” Rainbow Dash whooped as she looped around again, diving in with her wing-blades and scoring multiple hits as she zipped around his body in death-defying bursts of speed, avoiding his swatting paws with inches to spare.

“Rainbow’s keeping him busy, get in close while he’s distracted!” Twilight yelled, dashing towards the wolf king and his army of timber wolves as she leveled her spear forward. “Applejack, front and center! Draw their fire and keep them off us! Spike, get on my back and watch it, take out any congregation of targets you see! Rarity, keep Fluttershy safe, and pick off any stragglers or targets of opportunity! Negi, back Rarity up! Pinkie, just… do what you do best.”

“Ya got it, Twi’!” Applejack saluted swiftly while the pink mare abruptly bounded right into the midst of the horde, disappearing among their numbers for a second before bouncing right out again, stringing along several dozen distracted wolves that pursued her futilely. Without hesitation, Negi and the rest of her friends followed her into the breach, their weapons raised and their powers readied. Snarling, the army of timber wolves behind their king shot forward to defend him, their jaws snapping and baying for their enemies’ blood.

“Twilight! The Darkness is the source of the King’s power, and it’s what’s powering his army of timber wolves!” Negi shouted to the charging mare as he hung back next to Rarity. “Take out the king, and the rest will fall!”

“Got it, Negi!” Twilight yelled her acknowledgement back as she sprinted forth. Surging forward to meet the threat, Applejack spearheaded the group’s formation, wading into the horde with a powerful double-kick that sent wooden fragments flying everywhere. The earth pony let out a stirring battle cry as she began delivering Apple family-grade bucks left and right, her steel-shod hooves and greatly enhanced strength utterly shattering a timber wolf with every kick she delivered. Wooden fragments soon began to litter the ground at her hooves, but for every timber wolf she shattered, it seemed as though there were at least two to replace it.

“Applejack, behind you!” Twilight warned.

Without even turning to look, the orange farmpony dropped into a crouch, and a hissing ray of pure white frost shot over her head, freezing solid the timber wolf that had been about to leap onto her unguarded back. Turning to face Twilight, Applejack shot her friend a fierce grin before off-hoofedly bucking the frozen timber wolf into shattered fragments. “Thanks, Twi’!”

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Behind them, Rarity laid into the onrushing horde with a withering hail of piercing diamond projectiles that showed no sign of running out anytime soon, the white unicorn’s uncanny precision ensuring that not a single shot was wasted. Staying well behind the forefront of the fighting where Applejack was attracting the attention of almost every timber wolf within earshot, barring the ones Pinkie had managed to distract with her incessant hopping, she unleashed a burst of rock-hard flechettes in the direction of every timber wolf she saw separate itself from the horde or begin running their direction.

“Back, you ruffians!” Rarity screeched as she obliterated another pair of leaping timber wolves before they could even come within ten paces of her and Fluttershy. “You won’t be damaging this outfit for as long as I’m wearing it!”

“Oh, do be careful, Rarity!” Fluttershy whimpered as she hid behind Rarity, away from the resulting shower of wooden twigs and other fragments, as she held up her staff defensively. “There’s another one, coming from the lef- eeek!!!”

“I got ‘em!” Negi yelled out, his horn glowing as he thrust his head upward, grunting under the mental weight of his newly mastered levitation spell. Abruptly, the timber wolf that had been charging towards them began to rise into the air, helpless and unable to defend itself from the subsequent volley of diamond-hard shards that dismantled it a moment later.

“Bravo, Negi!” Rarity trilled. “If we keep this up, Ponyville will be free of these ruffians in no time!”

“Yeah, great shot, kid!” Chamo applauded from the mage’s shoulder, his eyes still magnetically drawn to Rarity as he intently watched the unicorn fight, earning a sarcastic roll of the eyes from Negi. “But you’d better kick up the pace, or Rarity’s gonna leave you in the dust!”

“Oh, shut up, Chamo!” Negi snapped.

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Back inside the horde, Applejack and Twilight found themselves pressed back-to-back as timber wolves surrounded them from all sides. Even as they continued putting each one down with ruthless efficiency, the broken pieces would just reanimate and piece themselves back together in a manner of seconds, and they were rapidly beginning to exhaust themselves - they wouldn’t be able to hold out for much longer if the fight continued like this.

“Spike, this isn’t accomplishing anything - we have to get in close and help Rainbow Dash!” Twilight panted as she swept her spear’s frost ray over a large group of timber wolves, freezing them over instantly as Applejack leaped upon them, shattering them with lightning-fast kicks left and right. “Open up a path towards the king!”

“On it!” The young drake shoved a hand into the pouch he carried, withdrawing a pinch of the strange powder inside before throwing it inside his mouth. Not a second later, his cheeks bulged out, straining to contain the power within as the powder reacted inside to release its potent payload. The young dragon then rose to his feet on Twilight’s back, aiming for the timber wolves that blocked their path towards the king.

Spike opened his mouth, and he let out the largest, most explosive belch he had ever released in his life. The fireball that exploded out of his mouth dwarfed any wisp of flame he had ever conjured before, and it streaked towards the teeming mass of wolves, detonating inside in a spectacular conflagration and sending charred, smoking branches and twigs flying in every direction. When the smoke cleared, the timber wolves that had survived the explosion were still wobbling about unsteadily, struggling to regain their senses, and a long, clear path lay before them to the timber wolf king, still swatting futilely at Rainbow Dash in vain attempts to bat her out of the air.

“The way’s clear!” Twilight shouted, already sprinting forward into the gap Spike’s fireball had opened. “Applejack, follow me!”

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Up ahead, Rainbow Dash was having the time of her life dueling the timber wolf king, streaking about the wolf king’s body while easily evading his blows, striking out with her wing blades whenever she could and jabbing out a taunt with every swipe of his claws she avoided. “Oh, come on, is that really the best you can do? I expected better from the king of all timber wolves!”

“You won’t be nearly as mouthy when I get my claws on you!” The huge wolf roared as he swatted at Rainbow Dash again, and let out a snarl of pain as she streaked past his side again, adding another slash from her wings to the dozens of furrows she had already carved into his wooden body. “Would. You. Just. Hold. STILL!?”

“Sorry, no can do pal!” The brash pegasus snickered as she dodged another swipe of the black tentacles that extruded from his back. “The Rainbow Train has no brakes!”

Rainbow Dash continued dodging and slashing for several moments longer, getting cockier and more confident by the second in her ability to keep the wolf king occupied. Unfortunately, it also made her more careless, and as she wove to the side to avoid another swat from his shadow tendrils, she misjudged its distance by a slip of a margin, but it was more than enough to cost her.

The shadowy mass plowed right into her, and the wolf king howled triumphantly, knocking her aside and swatting her brutally out of the air. The pegasus’ limp body went flying, and Twilight and Applejack could only watch in mute horror as it slammed through the wall of a nearby house, disappearing inside the cloud of dust her impact kicked up.

“Oh no, Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy gasped, her eyes wide with horror at the brutal sight, and she abruptly took off from behind Rarity, galloping at a dead sprint towards her fallen friend.

“Hey, where- Fluttershy!” Rarity called out in surprise as she realized just where the frail little pegasus had gone running off to - there was an entire horde of timber wolves between her and where Rainbow Dash had fallen, and she was intent on running straight through them. Not only that, but apparently the wolf king had realized just what she was trying to do, and Rarity realized with mounting horror that the massive canine was beginning to lumber in her direction, unconcerned with the much closer Twilight and Applejack, who were still swamped by the individual wolves that surrounded them. “No! Don’t go there, it’s not safe!”

“Too late, she’s already dead set on getting there!” Negi growled, the anger within the young mage already growing at the sight of Rainbow Dash being hurt like that. Not Fluttershy as well! I can’t let somepony else get hurt too!

“Negi, you know, it might be a good idea to clear a path for the lady!” Chamo chimed out from his shoulder, and the young mage’s lips thinned into a grim line, finding himself nodding in grudging agreement with the perverted ermine’s tactically-sound advice. Reaching deep within himself, Negi drew upon the boiling cauldron of his anger, and called on more power than he had ever attempted to gather before, summoning up the energy for another volley of spells. "Nobody hurts my friends!" he shouted angrily.

“You heard Chamo!” He called out to Rarity, the power he was gathering already whipping up a billowing storm of wind around him. “We have to clear a path for her!”

Gritting her teeth, Rarity grimly nodded and readied her diamond shards again, already picking out targets close to Fluttershy and lining them up. “They shan't lay a single filthy claw on her!”

As one, the duo unleashed hell upon the wolves that stood between Fluttershy and the fallen Rainbow Dash. Propelled by his rage, Negi cast forward with both of his forelegs, pushing outward with all of his will - the resulting gale blew nearly all the timber wolves in the entire area off their feet, and Rarity’s follow-up volleys utterly obliterated them, sometimes with a single burst taking out as many as three or four timber wolves at once. Spike added more of his own fireballs to the barrage, and soon enough, more than half of the wolf king’s army lay upon the ground in shattered fragments, still struggling to put themselves back together from the massive damage they had sustained.

The path ahead of her cleared, Fluttershy dashed forward, heedless of the danger around her. Surviving wolves snapped at her heels moments before they were obliterated by precise volleys of diamond shards from Rarity, but she ignored them - there was only one place she had to reach, one friend she had to make sure was all right!

So focused on getting to Rainbow Dash, she completely failed to notice the lumbering mass of the wolf king that abruptly came crashing in from the side until it nearly bowled her over and knocked her prone on the ground as it swiped at her with a claw. “You think that it will be that easy? Fool! I know what your powers are, and you won’t be reviving that pegasus so simply!”

Fluttershy stared up at the towering wolf in mute terror, shaking madly and immobilized with fear. As the wolf king raised a massive foreleg to crush her underneath his paw, the pegasus covered her face with her forelegs, letting out a scream of pure terror, and Negi’s eyes blazed, power unlike anything he had welling up from inside him.

“NO!” The young mage shouted, and he hurled everything he had at the massive wolf king in a single, concentrated burst of gale-force wind. At the same time, Rarity unleashed an overwhelming volley of diamond shards as she screamed in denial, and the two torrents combined together to propel the shards forward with incredible power. The twin combined torrents slammed into the wolf king’s raised foreleg with sledgehammer force, and completely shattered it, sending its lower half crashing lifelessly to the ground next to Fluttershy as wooden fragments rained down around her.

The wolf king let out a bloodcurdling howl of agony as it cradled the wounded limb close, and Fluttershy took the opportunity to get to her hooves and dash inside the wrecked house that Rainbow Dash had been knocked into. Turning towards the ones that had wounded it so, it began to stalk towards them threateningly.

“You dare!?” The shadow wolf lord snarled viciously. “You dare wound me so!? You shall pay for your insolence!”

“Y’know, you might want to look to your left first! There’s something you might be interested to see!” Chamo piped up from Negi’s shoulder despite the young mage’s frantic gestures for him to shut up, and the wolf king’s expression only grew more incensed.

“You would presume to make a fool out of me!?” The massive canine roared, the black tendrils on his back thrashing about madly in his fury. “You may have bested me once, but that shall not happen agai-”

“Geeeeeeeronimooooooo!!!” A bubbly voice echoed out from the wolf king’s left, right before a very familiar-looking grey boulder topped with a blonde, unruly mane came rolling out of nowhere, bouncing off a nearby hill and abruptly landing on top of the wolf king’s one remaining intact paw.

The sheer weight of Derpy’s boulder-clad body utterly crushed the wolf king’s remaining paw into dust and detritus, and the massive wolf howled in pain again as he leaped backwards and away from Negi and Rarity, struggling to stay upright despite his crippled limbs.

“What the- Oh, geez, I completely forgot about Derpy!” Twilight gasped out in relief as she and Applejack came running through the dazed remaining timber wolves to Negi and Rarity’s side.

“Nice timing, Derpy! That was just what we needed!” Chamo declared, giving her a thumbs up.

“I’m sorry, Twilight, but I have no idea what I just did!” The wall-eyed pegasus chirped cheerfully as she got to her hooves again, her eyes spinning about even more so than usual. “Can somepony tell me what just happened?”

“Hmm…” Chamo rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a second after witnessing Derpy’s magnificently dynamic entry. “Aha! Idea! Applejack, c’mere for a sec!”

The orange farmpony trotted over quickly, an eyebrow cocked quizzically. Leaning in, Chamo began whispering into her ear, and after a few seconds Applejack’s eyes widened in comprehension.

“Ya got it, Chamo!” Applejack smirked, and she beckoned towards Derpy. “Derpy, over here!”

The wall-eyed mare stepped closer, looking curiously at her, but she nodded enthusiastically regardless, eager to help. “Whatcha need, Applejack?”

“Just you,” the orange mare said.

Derpy frowned in confusion, not quite getting it. “Sorry, Applejack, but I don’t get what you have in mi-IIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN-”

The rest of the grey pegasus’ sentence trailed off as Applejack grabbed Derpy by the base of her boulder body, hefted her into the air, and tossed her upwards before spinning around and giving her a double-legged buck that would have put Big Macintosh’s kicks to shame.

The improvised cannonball streaked right towards the timber wolf king’s face, and smashed right into his snout with bone-shattering force. There was a loud crunch as twigs and branches were sent flying everywhere, and when Derpy’s rock-like body dropped to the ground again, the wolf king’s entire body soon followed suit with a heavy, shuddering impact, his burning eyes now dull and lifeless as the tendrils upon his back still waved about weakly but incessantly.

Now that the girls were finally able to get a clear look at it, they realized that his nose had been completely broken. His snout was hideously deformed, yet it was still slowly but surely knitting itself back together, the dark magicks that powered his body slowly mending the damage that it had sustained.

Negi wasn’t about to give it that chance.

“Now!” He shouted, dashing forward, and the girls quickly took off after him. “While he’s unconscious, we have to get the girls out!”

“No need to worry about that!” A familiar, scratchy voice rang out, and a prismatic blur shot past the wolf king’s head. “I got this!” Rainbow Dash declared.

There was a flash of metal, and the massive wolf’s cranium parted, revealing the three captive fillies that he had been holding hostage since the beginning of the fight. Scooping them up into her forelegs, Rainbow Dash took off again with a mighty beat of her wings, clearing the way for the coup de grâce. “Now, Pinkie!!!”

“Okie dokie loki!” Negi and the others whirled around to see Pinkie, who had been more or less missing and out of sight for the entire fight, as she pulled out a truly massive party cannon that was nearly five times her size. “You girls might want to get out of the way - this is gonna make a big bang!”

Their hanging jaws abruptly shut themselves, and the entire group threw themselves to the side as an audible whining began to build up from Pinkie’s modified cannon, a bright, incandescent light beginning to build up within the depths of its barrel. In front of the cannon, the wolf king had barely begun to recover his senses, struggling to get up.

“W-Wha… What did you do…?” Blinking rapidly as his sight returned, the wolf king cast his gaze about in an attempt to find his prey, but when he caught sight of the massive cannon and his opponents gathered behind it, his eyes widened in disbelief. “No… No, I cannot… I will not lose here! My power is absolute-!”

“Face it, wolfy!” Pinkie shouted as her hoof hovered over the firing button. “You’d already lost the moment you picked on the Crusaders and took ‘em hostage! Nopony hurts my friends and gets away with it!”

The whining building up within the cannon reached an ear-piercing crescendo, and Pinkie slammed her hoof down on the button. “The party’s over for you, you big, fat meanie-pants! EAT PARTY CANNON!”

There was an almighty flash of light, a deafening roar of sound, and the cries of the timber wolf king were drowned out by the ensuing thundering wave of confetti that sustained itself for several seconds straight. When the light finally faded and the noise finally died down, everypony looked up to see the results of Pinkie’s cannon blast.

Absolutely nothing remained of the king. Nothing marked his passage but a large singe mark to signify where he had stood when the blast had been unleashed. Not even the darkness that had possessed him was anywhere to be seen - not a single trace of it could be found, even as Negi extended his senses outward.

“We did it,” The young mage whispered in awe, barely even believing it. “Ha… HAHA! WE DID IT!!!”

“Hay yeah we did!” Rainbow Dash whooped, swooping down next to the colt to give him a high hoof. “Who’s awesome!? We’re awesome!”

"Darn straight, Bluebird!" Chamo crowed, holding out his tiny paw for a hoof-bump of his own.

Omake:

There was a flash of steel, and the massive wolf’s cranium parted, revealing the three captive fillies that he had been holding hostage since the beginning of the fight. Scooping them up into her forelegs, Rainbow Dash took off again with a mighty beat of her wings, clearing the way for the coup de grâce. “Now, Pinkie!!!”

“Okie dokie loki!” The pink mare’s voice rang out, and Twilight realized it was coming from above.

“ROAD ROLLER DA!” Out of nowhere, a massive steamroller came crashing down from the sky, utterly crushing the wolf king beneath its weight, and that was when Twilight realized that there was a pink mare riding the damn thing, laughing maniacally as she pummeled it madly with a wild flurry of punches.

“MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!!!”

Twilight could only stare in disbelief.

"Wat."

Author's Note

Ahhhhh! The amazingness! I claim no credit for the epicness! HellRyden is the creative genius behind this fight scene. I can't give him enough props. Go read his stories here right now!

In other news, I apologize for taking so freaking long to update. I used my inability to write fight scenes as an excuse to quit writing for a while after I got creative burnout from trying to write too much.

"Thank You... Whoever the Heck These Ponies Worship" by Chamo

"Thank You... Whoever the Heck These Ponies Worship" by Chamo

"It's not quite what I had in mind, but it will do," Chamo said, reclining comfortably on the arm of the library's couch and staring down at the pair of unconscious youngsters on the ground. He held a paw out, thinking wistfully of the cigarette he should have been holding. Picturing it vividly did not make one appear, and he sighed slightly.

"Will do?" Rainbow Dash parroted. "They're unconscious and probably scarred for life! Twilight's going to kill us!" She hovered frantically over Spike. The little dragon's face was pale despite his thick coat of scales, and his eyes were rolled up into his head.

He flapped a paw at her. She could be a real buzz kill sometimes. "They'll be fine, kids heal fast. Plus there's always therapy. You worry to much, Bluebird."

She charged him, snorting. "And you don't worry enough, Weasel. Seriously, you peel back his eyelid, poke him, and your done?" She jabbed him in the chest.

Chamo put his nose in the air and smoothed his fur back into place. "Negi and I have been in way worse trouble than this... not that I'd imagine you know much about danger. Trust me, he'll be just fine," he insisted as he waved her off. She gave him the evil eye, but turned back towards Spike. "Besides, you're in no position to be pointing fingers, seeing as it's your fault in the first place," he said, before smacking a paw over his mouth and eyed the Pegasus warily.

The mare's shoulder's tensed. She turned around ever so slowly. Then in the time it took him to blink, she had her hooves on him. She growled at him.

"Err... Sorry?" he muttered, covering his face as she raised a hoof.

There was a quiet knock at the door. The pair turned and watched as a familiar yellow pony entered the library, balancing a wicker basket on her back. "Sorry I'm late... " she said quietly, scuffing her hooves on the floor. "I just--" she looked up and her eyes widened in shock. "Rainbow!" She scolded, hooves on her hips with a small frown on her face. "What are you doing to that poor, defenseless critter! I... oh my, what happened to them?" She had caught sight of the two youngsters lying on the floor. Instantly her frown was gone, replaced by a concerned expression as she looked them over carefully.

Rainbow Dash had been nervous enough by the other pony's arrival, but when the other made began to scold her, the normally cocky pony's entire body drooped visibly. She brightened visibly when the other pony's focus turned away from her. Dropping Chamo in a heap, she rushed over to help her friend. "There was an... accident," she said quickly, waving her hooves about. "It wasn't a big deal really!" Her smile was a bit lopsided, and she was sweating visibly.

Lucky for her, the other pony was focused on inspecting her new patients. "Oh dear, they seem to be in shock," Fluttershy said quietly. "What happened to them? I thought Twilight was going to be my only patient."

Rainbow Dash turned red. "Well, you see... heh, they kind of... k-k..." she stammered, ears back as she glanced around.

Chamo pushed his way in between them. "They just got a little excited, they'll be fine. Don't you worry your pretty little head, I'll look after these two, so you just go check on your friend upstairs." The ermine put on his most charming smile and widened his eyes as he looked up at her.

Fluttershy smiled at him. "Oh my, thank you... I was worried that I was going to have to deal with three patients at once... Oh, not that I mind of course, it's just I wouldn't be able to treat them all at the same time. Somepony might get worse and then... " She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I got off track. Thank you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I ran away from you earlier... I can see now what a nice little ermine you are."

"I'm not a..." Chamo began automatically. He stopped, blinking. "W-what did you say?"

"Oh no, did I say something offensive? You're a nice... big ermine?" She tried again.

Chamo fell to his knees, crying. A beam of heavenly light shone down on him. "T-that's right, I'm an ermine. An ermine!" he blubbered. He grabbed onto Fluttershy's leg. "AN ERMINE!" he shouted.

Fluttershy eeped, and made some hasty, barely audible excuses before bolting upstairs.

Chamo didn't care. He turned his gaze towards the light above him above him and threw up his arms as the violins began to play. "At last, an angel has come to me in my time of need. Thank the heavens! Thank you... whoever the heck these ponies worship. An ermine!" He weeped openly, despite the blue pony's stares. She had her head cocked to one side and was scratching her head, muzzle scrunched in confusion. The two laying on the floor had begun to stir as well.

"She's awake!" Fluttershy yelled quietly from the top of the stairs.

The light snapped off and the music skidded to a hault. "Finally," Chamo said, "I was getting bored. Let's get back to work." He dashed up the stairs, leaving the rainbow pony behind to blink vacantly for a moment before she rushed to catch up.

Author's Note

Not a whole heck of a lot happened here, but it was fun to write... Don't worry though, there will be more action in the next chapter, but for now... Shenanigans!