About Last Night

Chapters

A Cautionary Tale
Feel the Love
Awkward...
The Mission
Deep Thoughts
A Most Forgettable Evening
The First Night
Not a Morning Pony
Packing Up
Departure
Night Mare
Crusades
Manehatten I
Manehatten II
Manehatten III
Vanhoover I
Vanhoover II
Vanhoover III
Trouble Brewing
Chaos
Confession
Wrapping Things Up

A Cautionary Tale

The farmhouse frequently saw several large crowds. The Apple family was a close bunch, after all, so large dinners were common. Still, this particular group was an uncommon sight for this location. Usually, if the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony wanted to meet, they’d pick Sugarcube Corner or the Golden Oaks Library as their base of operations.

But today they were all here, with Big Macintosh with them, all at Applejack’s invitation, though at the moment none of them were quite sure why.

Applejack stood before them, looking as giddy as a schoolfilly. Next to her was something covered with a white sheet. Pinkie's attempts at uncovering it had resulted in several smacked hooves until she gave up, sitting with her forelegs folded in a pouting position.

Rarity whipped her mane behind her head. “Well, Applejack, I hope this is important. Telling us all to not have anything planned for tomorrow, making me send my little sister off to that slumber party at Scootaloo’s house.”

“Scootaloo has a house?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yeah, I want to thank y’all for comin’,” Applejack said. “Truth be told, this here is somethin’ I’ve been wanting to do ever since ya’ll helped me chase them varmits Flim and Flam off.”

“Oh. You mean, like a thank you present to us? Ooh! Ooh! Is it wrapped in colorful paper? It’s not a present unless...”

“Simmer down, it ain’t quiet like that. See, ya’ll came though for me when I really needed ya. I’ve always called ya mah family, but that was one time you really proved it. And because of that, I wanted to get you involved with an Apple family tradition.”

With that, she grabbed the sheet next to her and tore it off, revealing...

“Cider!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed happily.

Indeed, several barrels of the Apple family’s quality brew was sitting in neat stacks. “Fermented cider,” Applejack explained. “We always save a few barrels full personally for the family to let it age. It’s ready for some real drinkin’.”

“Aw yeah, let’s get to it!” the cyan pegasus exclaimed, practically drooling at the thought.

“Actual alcohol? I’ve never had that before,” Twilight said, sounding intrigued.

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked, shocked. “Twilight, you’re a grad student!”

Twilight blushed a little, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof. “Well, I was always curious about it. But I had Spike to take care of. It’s kind of bad parenting if you come home completely drunk.”

“Oh! You’ve got to try some! I’m willing to bet you’ll be the silliest!” Pinkie chirped, causing Twilight to redden further.

“That’s why I had the foals and Spike sent to that sleepover. They’re gonna be busy till tomorrow afternoon, so they won’t see us at our worst.”

“I suppose I could have a glass or two,” Rarity conceded. “But not too much! I am a lady! I do not get inebriated.”

“Um... if it means that much to you...”

The party was just starting, with each of the guest talking amongst themselves. Twilight sipped her cider slowly, recoiling a bit at the taste. Applejack, looking at her, couldn’t help but smirk. “Really is your first time drinkin’, eh Sugercube?”

The lavender unicorn felt herself blushing. “Is it that obvious?”

“You just haven’t ‘quired the taste just yet,” the cowpony noted. “Ain’t nuthin’ to be ashamed of. I understand why you haven’t had much experience. Truth be told, I don’t get too much of a chance to drink either. What with me an’ Big Mac havin’ ta take care of Apple Bloom.”

“You mean Big Mac and I,” Twilight corrected.

“Don’t bring your fancy grammar into this,” Applejack answered playfully, taking a drink.

“I can’t help it, that’s just how I was raised.”

“Well then, you need more cider. Go on, chug that thing!”

“But it tastes all weird...”

“That’s why you drink it fast, so your tongue don’t taste it. Go on, one big gulp.”

Twilight looked at the mug. Just one gulp, Twilight, come on.

She put the mug to her lips and tilted her head back, allowing the nasty liquid to leap past her tongue and down her throat. She gave a bit of a cough, but most of the gulp made it down her throat. Drops rolled down her chin, soaking her coat.

“Ya see? Just like that.”

“My throat’s burning,” Twilight complained. “Why am I drinking this again?”

“You need to wait a while for the effects to kick in,” the cowpony assured. “’Till then, how about another drink?” Not waiting for an answer, she took the mug and poured another.

“Thanks, Applejack,” the unicorn said politely. “You know, you don’t have to hang around me all night. You can look after the others.”

“Aw, they’re all big fillies, they can take care of themselves,” the earth pony dismissed. “I just want to spend time with you.”

Twilight played with her mug a moment, swishing the liquid around a moment. “Applejack... you aren’t all still feeling bad about what happened at the wedding, are you?”

Applejack’s eyes widened. She puckered her lips inward as her pupils rolled back, giving the farmer a good view of the ceiling. “I can’t imagine where you’d get that impression.”

A magic glow surrounded her cheeks and forced her to look at her friend. “First off, never make that face again. The last thing I need is a flashback to the Discord incident. Secondly, I got the idea because all of you are letting me get away with absolutely everything.”

“What do you mean?”

”You know, I think Temple of Nightmare Moon was the best Daring Do book.”

Rainbow Dash’s eye twitched. “It... it grows on you.

“Twi, that doesn’t prove...”

”Well, Rarity, here’s the dress I want,” Twilight said pleasantly, giving her friend a sketch.

The white unicorn took the drawing and scanned it over. Immediately her eyes widened, her irises shrinking. “This? You... I mean...”

“I know, the black leather really shows off my curves, and aren’t the crochet stockings a nice touch?”

“I... I...”

“I’m going to wear it to Celestia’s next party. And I’ll make sure everypony knows you designed it. Won’t that be great?”

Rarity gave a smile to show that it wouldn’t be great. “Oh yes,” she lied through her teeth.

“You didn’t.”

“Of course not, I called it off immediately. I wouldn’t ruin Rarity or embarrass the Princess like that. But the point is, you all have been doing whatever I wanted. It’s getting annoying.”

Applejack sighed. “Look, it’s just... we blew you off. You had to face that big bug alone. I... we couldn’t just let it go. You’ve been such a good friend, and I... we felt like mud when the whole thing came out.”

“Let’s not get into that again,” Twilight groaned. “You guys apologized enough. It got annoying, to be honest,” she said, trying to joke.

Applejack hung her head, raising it only to take drink. “Look,” she said, when the liquid had been swallowed. “I just... I pride myself of always bein’ a dependable pony. Ever since I met you, an’ became a Bearer, you always stayed by my side. You’ve been a great friend, Twi... one of the best I’ve ever had. I never want anything to get in the way of that.”

Twilight blushed. “I... wow,” she said quietly. “Applejack, you never have to worry about that. I love all you girls. We’ll all be together, nothing is going to change that.”

“Yes, it will,” the earth pony answered bluntly. “Don’t be a fool, Twi, that ain’t you. Dash’s gonna be a Wonderbolt, Rare’s gonna open up a Boutique in every major city from here to Fillydelphia, and you’re gonna go back to Canterlot an’ be a great royal figure. You’ll go on off an’ forget all about Ponyville… an’ me. I’ll be stuck on this farm ‘till I’m as old as Granny Smith…”

Twilight felt her heart sink as she looked at her friend, who had chosen that moment to take another gulp. “I won’t forget you. Ever. And besides, what makes you think you’re never leaving the farm?”

“Twi, I told you how I got my cutie mark. I tried goin’ to Manehatten an’ bein’ a big city pony. I didn’t fit in. It ain’t for me. I don’t fit in there… but that’s where you’re headin’. You’re goin’, and I can’t follow.”

“…Applejack,” Twilight said, a little stunned.

“Forgit I said anythin’,” the earth pony said quickly. “At least for tonight. This is a happy occasion.”

Twilight looked at her for a moment. Finally, she nodded slowly. “Okay. But you’re not getting off the hook that easy. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

Rarity's slow and diligent sipping of her mug was interrupted by Pinkie jumping up seemingly from under the table. "Hey Rarity!"

The white unicorn gave a shriek, nearly spilling her cider. "Ah! Pinkie! Don't do that!"

"Rarity! Come on, it's funnel time!" she said happily, producing a funnel with a long plastic hose.

"No, Pinkie. There is no way I would ever participate in something so crude."

"Applejack says you enjoyed pillow fighting," the earth pony protested.

"I did not!" Rarity objected. "I simply let my temper get the best of me. Happens to the best of us."

"Please do the funnel!"

"No."

"I'll be your best friend!"

"Pinkie, you're already one of my best friends," the unicorn sighed.

"Then do it. Please?" Pinkie's eyes grew three times their normal size, her lip quivering.

Rarity held her firm composure for another few seconds, then sighed. "You never speak of this again, you hear me?"

"Pinkie Promise!" she exclaimed. She quickly went through the gestures, then rather abruptly stuck a funnel into Rarity's mouth. The white unicorn gave an unladylike grunt before sighing. She resigned herself to the inevitable onslaught. That is, until she saw Pinkie was holding the funnel just under a tap.

"Whut, Punk..."

Too late. Pinkie pressed the tap, and seconds later the liquid flowed freely into the unicorn's mouth. Ten gulps later, the tap turned off, allowing Rarity to breathe again.

"Pinkie!" Rarity screeched. "That was ill mannered, uncalled for, and...and..." Suddenly, the purple maned pony was a lot more mellow. "I must say, this is pleasant."

Rainbow Dash gulped down her third mug, slamming it down on the hardwood table. Wiping her mouth, she glanced over at Fluttershy, who was finishing up a mug as well. The cyan pegasus looked over at her friend’s side to see five other mugs stacked up by her side.

“Are the others dumping their mugs on you?” she asked, a little slurred. “Cause I can tell them to cut it out.”

“Oh, no, I actually drank all of those.”

The athletic pegasus was a bit stunned by this admission. “You...but I’m only on my third cup!”

“Um, yes, well...I’m sorry, but...well, you’re kind of...a lightweight.”

“What!” Rainbow Dash demanded. “All right, nopony calls me that and gets away with it! I challenge you to a drinking contest!”

Fluttershy meaped, covering her mouth with her hooves. “Oh no, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Well then, you shouldn’t have challenged me,” her friend said, grabbing her and dragging her over to the cask. She poured them two fresh mugs. “First one to pass out loses.”

“No, no, Rainbow please...”

Rainbow Dash lifted her mug. Sighing, Fluttershy did the same. After a halfhearted toast, the pair gulped their drinks down.

“Feeling alright, sugarcube?”

By now, Twilight was moving back and forth a bit, but she looked happy. “I’m fine, Applejack, really. After the first two glasses, they’re easier to swallow.”

“That because you’re too drunk to taste it,” the blonde slurred, though she wasn’t one to talk at the moment.

“Let me tell you: being drunk? It’s pretty awesome,” Twilight said happily. “I think I’m actually thinking more clearly than ever. Of course Celestia’s not going to send me back to Magic Kindergarten for failing an assignment. That’s just ridiculous.”

“Well, alcohol does tend to make you stop worryin’, but you still shouldn’t be doin’ too much thinkin’ about anything. You’ll realize it’s a bad idea once you’re sober.”

“Or will I just think it’s a bad idea because I’m worrying again?”

“Th’ first one. Now maybe we better cut you off...

Rainbow Dash gulped down her twentieth mug. “Why don’t...why don’t you just give it up?” she asked. She was having trouble staying up at this point.

Fluttershy gulped down her twentieth mug. “I’m still feeling okay,” she explained, though by now she was a little tipsy herself. “We can stop if you want...”

“Never!” she responded, holding up her mug to pour another.

“Um...Rainbow...that mug is upside down.”

Indeed, the pegasus saw that her precious cider was spilling to the floor. She quickly righted it.

“Not a word.”

“I mean, honestly, all I wanted was to meet a charming and handsome prince, marry him, and live a life of rich luxury. Honestly, is that so much to ask?”

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh answered flatly.

“Uh uh, no way. Those ponies at the Gala were just a bunch of ultra meanie pants!” Pinkie backed her friend up.

“Exactly!” Rarity exclaimed, slamming the table. “That so called prince was the most unprincely beast that has ever slithered into my life! And I am not the only one he’s hurt!”

Pinkie tilted her head anxiously. “What do you mean?”

“I talked to some of the mares around Canterlot while we were there for the wedding. Apparently Prince Charmless had bedded as many mares as you’ve thrown parties.”

Pinkie gave an exaggerated gasp. “No!”

“Yes!” the white unicorn wailed. “Ponies wanted to shake my hoof for giving him what for at the Gala! He lures mares in, then leaves them as soon as he loves them!”

“That’s horrible!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“You’re right! It’s horrible, and I’m going to do something about it!” she declared boldly, standing up. Almost immediately she had to sit back down, due to all she had to drink.

“Uh, Miss Rarity, maybe you shouldn’t be going anywhere tonight,” Big Macintosh suggested calmly, placing a hoof on her shoulder.

“No!” she said abruptly, batting it away. “This fine beverage has truly earned the name ‘liquid courage’, for it has given me the strength to do what needs to be done!” With that, she stood again and began running, with the stallion attempting to follow.

“No, no, this is a bad idea,” he pleaded. “Please, Miss Rarity, just take it easy, I...”

“Hi-yah!” Pinkie exclaimed, suddenly flying towards the eldest Apple child. Her back right leg hit him in the cheek. With a loud “oomph” the stallion crashed to the ground.

“You go girl! Hurry, before you’re sober enough to realize what a mistake you’re making!”

Rarity stumbled out of the farmhouse and lit up her horn. In a flash, she was gone.

Dash gulped down her thirtieth mug. She mumbled something in drunk talk which loosely translated to “How did you build up such a tolerance?”

Fluttershy looked away sadly. “Um, I’d rather not talk about it,” she said quietly. By now her words were slurred as well, though still coherent to those that listened closely.

Her friend actually stopped. She knew that tone. Fluttershy was upset.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked gently, forgetting about the contest. She placed a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

The shy pegasus just turned away meekly, giving a bit of a frightened squeak.

Rainbow Dash pulled her into a hug. “Fluttershy...we’ve been...we’ve been friends for a long time. You can talk to me about anything.”

Fluttershy was quiet for a moment. “Can we go somewhere else? I don’t want to bring the others in on this...”

Rainbow Dash nodded and lifted herself up. She did a quick scan of the room. Applejack was huddled deep into conversation with Twilight, and Pinkie seemed to be tying down Big Mac, who was struggling to reach the front door. “I don’t think the others would mind us going off to be alone for awhile.”

“I love you Applejack,” Twilight giggled affectionately, nuzzling her friend. “You’re a great friend. Never forget that.”

“Gosh, you sure are a loving drunk, Twi,” the earth pony said with a blush as she nuzzled back.

“Well... I can’t help thinking about what you said earlier tonight. Getting this drunk had given me a great idea.”

“You know, I think I said somethin’ earlier ‘bout drunk ideas... ah, nevermind it, it was probably stupid drunk talk. What’s your idea?”

Filly Applejack happily trotted into the farmhouse. She had just completed all her chores, and now her parents were going to reward her with a special treat.

“You did a good job, my little apple,” the matriarch cooed. “I think you deserve a treat.” With that, the mare handed her a reward.

“Popsicle!” the little filly squealed happily. She took the frozen purple treat and began licking it. She savored the taste.

Twilight’s ear twitched as she smiled happily. “Mmm... mmm...” she moaned in pleasure. She turned her head, and something pressed against her lips. It felt good.

She opened her eyes. She found a pair of emeralds staring back at her.

Both sets of eyes widened.

What came out of both Applejack and Twilight was a surprised and terrified yell that was likely heard all the way to Canterlot. Both mares fell out of opposite sides of Twilight’s bed.

“How... what?” Twilight stammered.

“Oh no... no, no...” Applejack moaned.

“We came to my place... did Spike see me drunk? No, no, he’s at the slumber party.” The unicorn breathed a sigh of relief.

“But who else could have seen us on our way here?” Applejack panicked. “Granny Smith would have a heart attack if I did somethin’ improper... and we could have... could have...” Her eyes widened in horror.

“Oh man, my parents are going to kill me,” Twilight moaned in anguish. “And Shiny... I...and the Princess! How is she going to...”

At that point, she noticed something: Applejack was still frozen in place, her eyes wide and her jaw slack. “Um... Applejack? hello?”

“...Is that a gold ring on your horn?” she asked slowly, pointing a hoof at her friend.

Twilight didn't answer. She just widened her eyes and lowered her jaw, gaping at the earth pony. Finally, she spoke. "Is that a gold band on your hoof?"

Applejack looked down and froze in terror as she saw the metallic band across the foreleg she was using to point with. The two ponies looked into each other's eyes with shock and horror.

"We didn't," Applejack said in absolute disbelief.

"We couldn't," Twilight assured, more to herself than to her friend.

The two of them quickly looked around the room. It was Twilight who saw it first. A scroll, sitting on her nightstand, marked with the Equestrian Royal Seal. Slowly, as if the parchment had been booby trapped, she levitated it towards them. With great reluctance, she unfurled it, allowing both ponies to read.

This document hereby binds the ponies known as Twilight Sparkle and Applejack in a state of Matrimony on the date of...

They didn’t read any farther. They just looked at each other.

“Oh...”

“...hay.”

Feel the Love

“No... no, no... no, no, no... no, no, no, no... no, no, no, no, no...”

“I don’t think that’s going to do anythin’, sugar,” Applejack said breathlessly.

“Can you imagine the scandal? Princess Celestia’s personal student, getting drunk and marrying somepony they weren’t even seeing!”

"And what's mah family gonna think? Oh, they are so against divorce, what if they don't let us split up?"

"Relax, that's not going to be a problem."

"How can you say that?"

"Well..."

Twilight's reassurances were interrupted by her front door opening. "Twilight? Applejack? Rarity?" Rainbow Dash called out.

"Come out, sillies!" Pinkie Pie chirped.

The two ponies froze. They looked at each other with horror.

"Quick, take off the rings and hide the certificate!" Twilight ordered.

Applejack immediately complied, or she tried to. She stepped on the band with her unbound forehoof, trying to push it off, but to no avail. "Mine's stuck!"

Twilight lit up her magic to levitate the ring off, to no avail. She increased her efforts, and immediately regretted it. As it turned out, trying to use magic after a long night of drinking caused extreme headaches.

"Ahhhh, ahhh," she moaned, putting a hoof to the side of her head.

"Um, I think I heard something upstairs," Fluttershy said meekly.

"Aw shoot," Applejack moaned. She quickly ran to Twilight. "Come on, we gotta get these rings off!"

"Wait, what are you..."

Applejack brought her teeth down onto Twilight's ring and began to pull.

"Ah, Applejack!" Twilight shouted. "Quit it, you’re too rough! Be gentle! Be..."

Then the bedroom door opened. "Hey, Twilight, are you in..."

Pinkie trailed off. The three ponies just gaped.

Twilight and Applejack froze.

"...Thus isn't whut it luhks luike," Applejack said, with Twilight's horn still in her mouth.

There were two simultaneous thumps as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie hit the floor on either side of Fluttershy, bursting out laughing. Fluttershy herself looked more embarrassed than anything.

"She was just trying to help me get this ring off!" Twilight snapped, turning beet red.

The laughter lasted another ten seconds before the cyan pegasus found the breath to speak. "Well... why... why are you wearing a ring?"

"No reason," both of the accused said far too quickly.

"What's the piece of paper by Twilight?" she asked, pointing.

Said unicorn immediately levitated the marriage certificate behind her. "Unimportant."

"Nuthin'," Applejack offered.

"Then let me see it," Rainbow Dash grinned sinisterly, slowly flapping herself forward.

"No," the both said, quickly but firmly.

The pegasus charged forward. Twilight tried summoning a spell and was reminded of her hangover. As she gripped her head, Rainbow Dash snatched the certificate and flew back to the others, narrowly missing Applejack's attempts to tackle her.

There was a pause as the three out-of-the-loop ponies read the marriage certificate while the two victims held their breath.

The three looked at them with blank, emotionless faces.

Then there was a thud as, once again, Rainbow Dash got acquainted with the floor. This time, Fluttershy looked amused, though she was trying to hide it. Pinkie, however...

"Nuh-uh! You guys got married this quick! Do you know how many parties we have to have now! The engagement party, the bachelorette party, the reception... I hope the Cakes can rent out Sugarcube Corner for nine hours straight."

"Will ya'll knock it off!" Applejack demanded.

What Rainbow Dash said next proved she was a true friend. "I am never, ever going to let the two of you live this down!"

"And the invitations! Ooh! We'll have the princesses come down and..."

Now beet red, Twilight spoke. "No! Don't get used to this! We are going down to City Hall and..."

"Ooh! Ooh! Look at this!" Pinkie exclaimed. At some point she had caught her breath and looked around the room. She was now balancing a black video tape on her nose. "It says, 'Your Wedding'!"

"Whoever married us must have videotaped it!"

"...Videotape?" Applejack asked.

They all looked at the cowpony. "Yeah, you know, recorded it so we can watch it on a television?" Twilight asked slowly.

"...Television?"

"You know, you have one in the living room of your house!" the unicorn exclaimed

"...Sweet Celestia, I do! But still, it's almost like that kind of fancy doodads never existed before now!"

"...How much did you drink last night?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Considerin' the situation, obviously too much."

"Well, come on, let's watch it!" Pinkie said, skipping down to Twilight's living room to use her VCR.

"Now, hold on a..." Applejack began, but Twilight stopped her.

"We need to see what kind of irresponsible priest would marry two ponies who were drunk. I can report whoever it is to Princess Celestia... if I can get past the embarrassment of all this," she moaned, following the others.

A short while later the group was in Twilight living room, with Pinkie having already popped the tape in and hit play.

Onscreen, they were in a flashy steeple, with tacky-colored walls. A pink unicorn mare in black robes spoke to Twilight and Applejack, who were both staggering a bit. Looking at the happy couple, the priest spoke.

"We have gathered here today at the Las Pegasus Two-Minute Wedding Chapel to...”

"Wait, wait," Twilight panicked, speaking over the video. "Did we teleport to Las Pegasus?"

The other ponies looked at her with genuine concern. The panic in her voice sounded immense. "Would that be bad?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"The first thing Princess Celestia did when teaching me about teleportation was to pin me against a wall and tell me to never, ever teleport while drunk. Do you know how much can go wrong? We could have ended up with parts of ourselves being left behind!"

The others gasped. Fluttershy paused the tape. "Um... should we take you two to a hospital?"

Twilight sighed. "No, no... if we had hurt ourselves doing it, there'd be no question. I'm just... freaked out we did it. Twice apparently."

There was a moment of silence. "Soo... you're okay?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight nodded.

"Good!" And she hit play again.

"Do you, Twilight, take Applejack to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do," the unicorn answered, the words slurred.

"And do you, Applejack, take Twilight to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"What?"

"Do you wish to join Twilight Sparkle in marital bliss?"

"...What?"

"She's asking if you want to wake up next to this every morning," Twilight said, wiggling her flank a little.

Nothing could be heard over Rainbow Dash and Pinkie's laughing, which is why it was fortuitous that the Applejack on the video tape only leered at said flank for a few moments.

"Y-yeah," Applejack finally said.

"Excellent! I now present the rings!"

With a glow of her horn, the priest levitated the rings above her self. Twilight stuck out her neck, Applejack a hoof, and the appropriately sized jewelry secured itself. The metal seemed to shimmer a bit as it settled.

"And now, by the power invested in me by the kingdom of Equestria, I now pronounce you mare and mare! You may now kiss each other!"

And they did. Passionately.

"That's it," the priest said with a lecherous smile. "That's it. Let the tongues dance."

By this point, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie were on the ground, laughing like hyenas. Only the fact that she was the Element of Kindness was stopping Fluttershy from joining in, and even then she was barely keeping her own laughing in. Twilight and Applejack just looked at each other, then looked away in complete embarrassment.

Finally, the two newly married mares broke away. "Let's head back to my place," Twilight said seductively, walking ahead of the cowpony.

"Aw yeah," Applejack said, giving Twilight's flank a playful smack. "I'll show you just how well this cowpony can ride."

Twilight decided at that moment to work through any pain and cast an invisibility spell on herself. Applejack, who would have given anything to be able to do the same, just hid under her hat the best she could.

No sound came out of Rainbow Dash or Pinkie this time. After all, air had to be present in the lungs for that to happen. Fluttershy, meanwhile, finally gave up and was on the ground as well, giggling.

The video tape jumped to a new scene, of them on a chariot flying through the air. The two ponies were too busy having a kissing contest to see the sights.

The scene jumped to the two of them being carried in by the pegasi who had been pulling their chariots. Carefully, they were tucked into Twilight's bed, unconscious. "Leave the tape on the table there," one of them pegasus said. Then the screen went black.

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, at least we didn't..." she trailed off. This, of course, was another invitation for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie to burst out laughing.

"Alright, that's enough," Applejack yelled, but this did nothing to stop the laughter. "Y'all best knock it off!"

"Aww, heh heh, but we're just enjoying our two best friends joining each other in... in..." And Rainbow Dash burst out laughing again.

"Yeah, well, like I said, don't get used to it. This marriage is illegal."

That actually caused the other ponies to look at Twilight confused.

"What 'cha talkin' 'bout, Twi? Gay marriage has been legal in Equestria for three hundred years. Lyra & Bon-Bon have..."

"Not that," Twilight explained. "To be married, we had to sign a marriage certificate. Legally, that's a contract. And a contract is invalid if it's signed drunk. All we have to do is go down to City Hall and get this annulled.

"But... my family don't believe in divorce..." Applejack said sadly.

"It's not divorce. That's ending a marriage. Technically, this marriage never even started. It'll be like it never happened."

"Except, you know, the fact that I'm always going to rib you about it," Rainbow Dash said playfully, caring little for the glares she got.

"Listen you," Applejack said angrily, "you best keep this between us, ya hear?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Rainbow Dash said defensively, putting her hooves up. "Of course I will. Relax."

"Pinkie Promise," the pink earth pony said, performing her trademark pledge.

"Of course. Um, can I tell Rarity?" Fluttershy asked.

Applejack sighed. "I guess," she muttered. Then she paused. "Where the hay is Rarity anyway?"

Pinkie and the two pegasi suddenly looked awkward. “Um, we were hoping you knew. We haven’t seen her since last night.”

“Oh my gosh!” Twilight gasped.

“I remember me and Big Mac talking to her last night,” Pinkie said, “but that’s it.”

Suddenly Applejack tensed up. “What does mah brother think about me bein’ gone?”

“Oh, he was still asleep when we left!” the pink earth pony chirped.

“Big Mac?” Granny Smith called, opening his bedroom door. “Are you goin’ to stay in bed all...”

The eldest Apple stopped. Her grandson was currently tied to his bed, a hoof at each bedpost. But that was nothing compared to the fact that he was painted bright pink, with red hearts and yellow smiling faces all over him, topped with what looked like a roll of socks stuffed into his mouth.

“Mmmmmmpfh! Mmmmmmpfh!”

Granny stood there with a neutral expression. Then she slowly backed away.

“Well, keep this under wraps, hear?”

“Pinkie Promise!” the earth pony agreed.

Twilight sighed. “Well, I doubt Rarity’s gotten herself in any serious trouble. She said she wasn’t getting drunk, she probably just went back to her Boutique sometime.”

“Good, now let’s get down to the Mayor’s office and get this thing over with,” Applejack declared.

“Not until we get these rings off,” Twilight said, summoning her magic again. It encased her wife’s band, and she began tugging fiercely, her headaches now less intense.

“Hey! Ow! Easy, Twi!” Applejack moaned, pulling away to try and help the process. “It ain’t comin off!”

“Oh, move,” Rainbow Dash said, pushing Twilight aside. She roughly wrapped a foreleg around the cowpony’s band and pulled with all her strength.

“Ow! Dash! Quit it, that hurts!”

“Aw, quit whining, I can get it off!” the brash pegasus declared, pulling harder.

“Actually, I don’t think you can,” Twilight interrupted, causing the stop. “Let me see that.”

She leaned in to the band and lit up her horn. As she did, the gold shimmered, and strange symbols appeared all over the surface.

“Oh no,” the unicorn cringed as the symbols disappeared. “These rings are enchanted! Whoever put them on us made sure they couldn’t be taken off!”

“What!” Applejack yelled.

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said.

“No way!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“...Hahahahahahahaha!” Rainbow Dash laughed, back on the ground.

“This ain’t funny!” Applejack yelled. Then turned back to Twilight. “Can ya get ‘em off?”

“Yes,” Twilight confirmed, “but it will take time. We’re just going to have to wear them until I can get them off.”

“...Hahahahahahahaha!” Rainbow Dash laughed.

Ignoring her friend, Applejack sighed. “We’ll just say the rings are a fashion choice.”

The cyan pegasus finally finished laughing, rising to her hooves. “And here I thought our announcement was going to be the big highlight today!”

Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie all looked at her. Fluttershy suddenly blushed, hiding behind her hair.

"What the hay are ya talkin' 'bought, 'announcement'?"

"Um," Fluttershy said, her face scarlet, "well..."

Rainbow Dash smiled proudly, draping a foreleg around her fellow pegasus. "Me and 'Shy talked last night, and, well..."

The rainbow maned pony turned and kissed Fluttershy right on the lips. Her yellow coat turned red as she kissed back.

The three other ponies' jaws dropped at the scene. As the two pulled away, they looked back at their stunned friends.

“Um, we don’t exactly remember what happened last night, but...we woke up in my bed, and...”

“We talked it over, and we figured if we were attracted to each other drunk, we might want to try a real relationship,” Rainbow Dash finished. She leaned over and nudged Applejack. “You two could learn a thing from us.”

"...Aww, that's so sweet!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Ooh! Now I have another party to throw together! I hope you can wait until after the reception..."

"There's not going to be a reception!" Twilight yelled. Then she blushed. "Well, at any rate... congratulations," Twilight said, and she meant it. Though in her current mood it sounded sarcastic.

"Yeah... we're happy for ya, really," Applejack added sincerely. “But, uh...are ya sure ya should be startin’ things like this? A lot can go wrong from startin’ a relationship based on some drunk kisses.

“Hey, relax, we know that, and we’re taking it slow,” Rainbow Dash said. Fluttershy nodded.

“Ooh! We should do something to celebrate!” Pinkie cheered.

"Later, Pinkie,” Twilight said sternly. “We should wait until Rarity’s around. Besides, I want to go and get this marriage annulled now!"

"Yeah, you two enjoy that," Rainbow Dash said casually, scooping Fluttershy up in her forelegs bridal-style. The yellow pegasus gave a small meep, but by the look on her face she certainly didn't object. "Me and my little butterfly are going to take some alone time."

"Um, don't you think we should find Rarity first?" the timid pegasus objected.

"That won’t be necessary, sugar," Applejack said. "It's like Twilight said, Rarity said she wasn't drinkin' too much. I doubt she got herself in any trouble."

"I'll go by Carousel Boutique just in case!" Pinkie offered. "I bet she's been up for hours!"

Rarity snuggled down into her covers. There were times she forgot just how comfortable her bed was. If felt fit for royalty. Her eyes opened slightly, and she saw the purple silk sheets.

Then she stopped. Her sheets weren't purple.

She turned to her side.

"Morning, beautiful," Blueblood cooed.

...

"AAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Awkward...

Rarity leapt out of Blueblood’s bed, looking absolutely terrified. “What? How... What?”

“It was quite an ordeal last night,” the prince said smugly, stretching.

“You... you brute!” the mare shrieked. “You took advantage of an inebriated girl!”

“Whoa, hey!” Blueblood said defensively, “I did no such thing. What do you take me for?”

“I woke up in your bed, what am I supposed to think? After your beastly behavior at the Gala, how am I to think differently?"

"...Oh yeah, you're the cake mare from the Gala!"

"You don't even remember my name!"

He shrugged. "You're no different than any other floozy that hit on me."

"Floozy! I am a dignified mare, thank you very much, and after your beastly behavior, what am I supposed to think?"

"Okay, I acted like a jerk for one night, and you think I'd take advantage of a drunken mare?"

"What about all those one-night-stands I heard about?"

"I told them going in that it would be a one-time thing. It's their fault for not listening. Say what you will about me bedding so many mares, but I'm always upfront with how it's going to be."

"...Fair point," Rarity pouted. “...But you still let me sleep in your bed!”

“Hmm...I guess I did.”

"Don't you think that's a just a little slimy?"

"...I guess it is. But then again, you came onto me, so I can't say that I'm sorry."

"You...you beast!"

"Sticks and stones," Blueblood muttered, trotting over to his liquor cabinet. "Scotch?"

Pausing, Rarity looked at the clock. "It's ten in the morning."

"Yeah, but I didn't really sleep last night," he muttered, pouring himself a shot.

“How do I even know you’re being honest about not taking advantage of me?”

“I guess you don’t,” Blueblood said smugly. “I don’t really care if you do.”

“Oh really? You would be in real trouble since you dragged me here...” She trailed off. Then she looked around. "How did I even get here? I was in Ponyville last night!”

“I’m not sure," the prince shrugged, standing up, “You just teleported in last night. Besides, I wouldn’t be complaining. Would you rather be waking up in the dungeon? That’s where you really should be after last night."

Rarity blinked. "Wh-what do you mean?"

In response, Blueblood's horn lit up. A panel on one wall containing a rather tacky piece of artwork slid up, revealing a television screen with a VCR hooked onto it. Lighting up his horn once more, the prince levitated up a video tape and inserted it into the machine.

The screen now showed a black-and-white image of the bedroom they were currently in. Blueblood was sitting at a desk against one wall, levitating a quill to fill out several reports. At that moment, Rarity appeared in a flash of white.

"What the?" Blueblood yelped.

"Listen well, you foul," Rarity stumbled a bit, but righted herself, "...you foul beast! I have come to make you pay for your ghastly misconduct!"

"...Oh," the prince said dismissively. "This again. Look, whoever you are, I'm pretty sure I made it clear it was going to be a one-time thing..."

"Hi-yah!" Rarity screamed, suddenly giving a flying kick, an amazing feat for a quadrupedal creature. Much to the mare's surprise, Blueblood blocked it, sending her on the ground onto her back.

"Oh please, if that camel dignitary couldn't kill me, you don't have a..."

Rarity did a leg sweep that knocked him off his hooves and onto his flank. She was quickly up, bringing both of her front hooves down on him, but Blueblood was surprisingly quick, bringing up his hooves to block. She pushed her back, standing up in time to block another buck.

The two continued back and forth for a few minutes until they were deadlocked, looking into each other's eyes.

And then their lips were touching as they fell to the ground.

Blueblood stopped the tape. "Well, you get the idea."

Rarity just stared in shock. "I... whua... uh..."

"And relax, I could tell you were drunk, so it didn't get serious."

"...Right," Rarity said, clearly embarrassed. "I'll just go then," she began trotting out the door.

"Hold it," Blueblood said sternly. "You still assaulted a member of the royal family. That's going to come with some repercussions."

"Re-repercussions?" Rarity said, suddenly nervous.

"I'm afraid you'll be doing some... community service, as it were." Rarity's eyes widened in pure horror. "No, no, nothing like that, I assure you. You won’t be my personal maid or anything like that, I'm not that kind of stallion. Still, you won't be leaving until afterward."

"Oh no," the mare said angrily. "You can't keep me here."

"...Yes I can. I'm pretty much arresting you, lawfully, I might add. The guards outside know it, too, so don’t bother trying to worm your way out."

"I happen to be friends with Princess Celestia's personal student. She'll bail me out of this!"

"Ah, you're friends with Twilight? Nice filly...bit too introverted for my taste, but what can you do?"

"Well, I can call in a favor and get this whole mess dropped!"

"...Perhaps. But do you know what you can't do? Get your reputation back."

"...what?"

"You assaulted a member of the Royal Family. Even if you get a full pardon, your reputation among the elite is going to be ruined, and according to my research, your profession requires you stay in good standing. If you don't cooperate, I'll spill this entire incident to the press."

“Wait...are you...blackmailing me?” she screeched.

“...I suppose I am, though it hardly matters. It would have leaked to the press either way. Besides, what I need you for is a bit important. I’m offering you a chance to escape jail time and serve Equestria, and it needs to be done in secret.”

Rarity was silent for a moment. "...My friends will notice I'm gone..."

"Oh, I took care of that..."

"Rarity?" Pinkie stuck her head in the front door. "Are you in here?"

"Oui," A pony said, stepping out from the back rooms. "It iz I, Rarity, at your service."

This pony looked exactly like Rarity in every conceivable way. She had the same eyes, the same mane, and the same coat. And yet Pinkie couldn’t help but feel that something was off.

"Are you trying a new accent?" Pinkie chirped.

“Uh...oui. I am trying it to improve mi image as a fashion critic.”

“Neato! That old one was a bit stuffy anyway.”

"Grazi. I forgot to tell you all that I am leaving for el fashion designers’ convention in Manehatten that will continue indefinitely."

"...Okie Dokie Lo... wait, something’s not right here...”

“Non, everything is grande!”

“...I don’t know...”

“...Look over there!”

Pinkie looked. “Ooh! A wall!”

The faux Rarity looked at the bottom of her hoof. On it was written several quick sprawls, which read “Twilight - Likes Books, Rainbow Dash - Likes Wonderbolts, Fluttershy - Likes Animals, Pinkie Pie - Likes Parties, and Applejack - Likes... Apples?”

“Hombre, let’s have a party when I return.”

“...Can we do the funnel this time?”

“Oui!”

“Okie Dokie Lokie!”

"What do you mean, it can't be annulled?" Twilight said incredulously.

"It's like I... said," Mayor Mare giggled, showing her the law books. "It's on the books: no marriage can be annulled for at least three weeks after the ceremony."

"But... but we were drunk!” Applejack protested. “Th’ priest could tell! They stuck these bands on us! We can’t even take them off!"

“What’s even the purpose of this law! It’s so arbitrary! It serves no purpose!”

"I'm sorry you two. It's... it's tragic," she stifled a laugh, "but... you two will have to... to tough it out..."

"What... but... mah family..." Applejack felt like crying, imagining Granny Smith's shamed face.

Twilight looked at the quill writing. "This seems freshly written... and it's not with the other marriage laws."

"Oh, yes... well, it's a fairly new law. I just wrote it in here until we can get a revised copy from Canterlot."

"My library gets updates on the law books all the time.... why haven’t I heard of this?"

"...It's really new," the Mayor said nervously.

At that point, a nearby wardrobe popped open, and a large sack of bits tumbled out.

There was a silence.

"What are those?" Applejack demanded.

"...Chocolate."

"Chocolate?"

"...Yes, chocolate coins."

"You have an entire sack full of chocolate coins?" Twilight chimed in.

"...Yes."

"And you're keeping them in an uninsulated wardrobe where they could easily melt instead of a refrigerated area?"

"...Yes."

Twilight's magic engulfed a coin, bringing it up in front of the Mayor's face. "Eat one," the unicorn demanded.

After a pause, the Mayor took the coin. After some hesitation, she put it in her mouth.

For a few seconds, the sound of unholy scraping of teeth against metal filled the room, until finally the Mayor gulped it down. She stopped, gagging, and swallowed a second and third time, until the coin went down. "See?" she smiled.

"...Are your teeth bleeding?" Twilight asked.

"...I don’t think so."

Twilight and Applejack sat back in the library, both of their stomachs churning. It was nearly noon, but neither of them felt like eating.

"You realize what this means, right?" Twilight said. "Somepony is trying to force us to be together."

"What kinda sick, deprived weirdo would force two ponies to be together?"

"Your sister?"

Applejack glared at the unicorn for a minute before sighing. "Well... she was just a filly, she didn't quite get what she was doing."

"I know," she sighed. Then she grimaced. “This is creepy. Who would go through all this trouble? And why?”

“I wanna know how,” Applejack admitted. “How’d they know we’d get so drunk? How’d they know we’d go to Las Pegasus?”

Twilight tensed up. She looked around. “Are...are we being watched?”

Applejack tensed up too. She looked around. Before she could open her mouth, however, Twilight gave a small breath of relief.

“I keep my library under a protection spell...we talk about missions from the Princess all the time, so I had it installed...we’re safe here, at least.”

There was another of the increasingly abundant awkward silences.

"We're going to have to tell the Princess about this."

"You sure, Twi?" Applejack said cautiously. "I mean, I know how much the Princess's approval means to ya..."

"Yeah. Believe me, I'm not looking forward to telling her," she groaned, clutching her stomach. "What if she's so ashamed she doesn't want me..."

Applejack quickly covered her mouth with one hoof. "Twi, please don't lose it, I really can't handle that right now."

"Sorry," Twi said, her mouth still covered.

"I know how you feel, though," the cowpony moaned, removing her hoof. "Mah family... what'll they think?"

"...Applejack?" Twilight said after a pause.

"Yeah?"

"Are you... you know, even into mares?"

"...Yes," the cowpony admitted finally. "What about you?"

"...Bisexual," she said. "I mean, I don't think drinking can change your orientation, so last night..."

They both blushed. "Twi... I... I just gotta know. Do you... think I'm pretty?"

Twilight blinked. "Huh?"

"I mean... we did get married last night." Applejack was being unusually shy, pawing the table with her banded hoof. "I was just wonderin', is all."

"...Well... I... I mean..." Twilight was beet red, not sure how to answer.

Applejack turned away. "Never mind, it was a stupid thing to ask."

"No, no, it just caught me off guard," Twilight assured. "I never really thought about how any of you look. I mean, this whole mess... it's a bit awkward..."

"I know, that's why I shouldn't have asked," the cowpony said dismissively. "I was just... just curious."

There was another awkward silence. It was becoming a comforting sound, in all honesty.

"...I think you're very pretty."

Applejack looked at her friend in shock, blinking and blushing. Twilight was blushing as well, as if she couldn't believe what she had just said. Stuttering, the cowpony spoke. "But... I... ain't like Rarity or any of those model ponies!”

"Well, yeah. You're... a more rustic pretty. Not everything has to look a certain way for things to be beautiful." She paused for a minute, then smiled. "You've seen Miss Cheerilee's yearbook photos, haven't you?"

Despite the awkward moment, the farmpony couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, I saw 'em. They were up once when I went to pick Apple Bloom up. How'd you see them?"

"I help her with her lesson plans sometimes. The point is, her mane style back then was considered attractive. What everypony thinks is beautiful changes too often. That's why I don't follow fashion, it's too unpredictable... too frivolous, too. I prefer practical. Your look... it's practical."

"Practical? Wow, Twi, you really know how to flatter a filly," Applejack commented, some playfulness entering her voice.

"Well, it's true. You look good, Applejack. With a little touching up, you could fit right in with those Canterlot ponies. That's all that high society look is, touching up. You don't do any of that. I think that's pretty."

Both participants were blushing again. "...Well... your turn."

Applejack blinked. "Wha..."

"I told you if I thought you were pretty. Now it's your turn. Am I pretty?"

"Oh, uh..." Applejack was beginning to wonder if her face was going to permanently change color with how often she had been blushing. "...Yeah," she said meekly. "The first time you showed up in Ponyville, I knew you had to be the one visitin' from Canterlot, ‘cause nopony else..."

Applejack stopped dead, looking flustered. Twilight gaped at her friend’s remarks.

For a few seconds, a silence hung in the air as the two just gaped at one another. Finally, through her embarrassment, Twilight spoke. “But...I didn’t have my mane styled, or my hooves done, or anything...”

“Y-you didn’t need any of that,” Applejack said, unusually meek. “I don’t like that frou-frou look. If I did, I might’a given Rare a go...if she was inta that kinda thing, anyway. You weren’t like other city ponies, but I could tell you were one. You...you looked like you put effort into yer look without really trying. You....carried yerself, I guess is how Rare would put it, like you were an important pony, but not in a snooty way...don’t know if that makes sense.”

Twilight blinked, blushing. “I...were you...”

“No, no,” she said quickly. “I thought you looked pretty, but...well, to be honest, you seemed pretty ornery that first day, it was a real turn off.”

“Yeah...I had thought Celestia was blowing me off about NightMare Moon...

“Yeah...I wasn’t attracted to ya...I just thought you were cute. I ain’t that shallow.”

For a few seconds, the two sat in silence.

"...I better start looking for a way to get these rings off," Twilight said at last, rising to her hooves.

"Won't the Princess be able to get 'em off?"

"Maybe, but I'd like to have these off as soon as possible. I don't know what other spells are weaved into these things."

Applejack gulped. "Y-yeah, good point." She gulped. "Uh, ya feelin' hungry? I can cook us up somethin'?"

"Not really... but we better eat anyway," the unicorn sighed. "I haven't had a meal since lunch yesterday."

Author's Note

Well, here's chapter 3.

This chapter sets up Rarity's subplot, establishes that this conspiracy goes deeper than they thought, and establishes that this will have some serious plot points here. Applejack and Twilight's conversation was hard to write. This seemed to be the kinds of things two friends would talk about after they woke up marrying each other (I doubt it happens too often in the real world...and if it does, I haven't lived).

And I hope the faux Rarity wasn't too unbelievable. I think Pinkie would be flighty enough to be fooled, at least for the few moments the fake would need. Those are the two scenes I'm worried about, but I worry every chapter, so here it is anyway.

BTW, since the last chapter, I've actually had an applejack! Half cider, half Jack Daniels, with a honey stick. It's good!

The Mission

The next thirty minutes passed in silence as both Applejack and Twilight went about their assigned tasks. Twilight did what might have been the fastest research of her life, trying to find a way to escape her bindings. Applejack stayed in the kitchen, cooking a meal for the two of them and, after realizing he'd be back soon, Spike.

Twilight was juggling between looking through her magic books and making a list of the ones who would try to pull such an elaborate prank on them. She had listed everypony with a grudge against them, then applied it to logic.

Trixie? No... she’s all better after we got that amulet off of her. Gilda? I doubt she has the resources... Chrysalis? This seems pretty petty for someone as big as her...but depending on what these bands do, I shouldn’t rule her out. Discord?

That actually got her to pause. The Spirit of Chaos had claimed he was turning over a new leaf, but Twilight still didn’t trust him. The only reason she had agreed to be drunk last night was that the Princess had him scouring a particularly dangerous region for Chrysalis and the changelings, part of his “public service”, in a word. Whatever the draconequus might be planning, he wouldn’t jeopardize it now.

That train of thought barrelled down a new path. Could Pinkie be responsible? She often does things she thinks are good without thinking them through... no, she wouldn’t be pretending not too if she did, and she doesn’t have the resources besides.

She sighed, returning to her books. There was nothing about about removing the bands, not yet, anyway...

"Soup's on, Twi!" Applejack called, pulling the unicorn out of her pages and beckoning her to come down. Laid out on the kitchen table was biscuits and gravy, freshly squeezed apple juice, and wheat toast.

"It looks good, Applejack," Twilight noted, taking a seat.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to make more, but you don't seem to have much in the way of ingredients here."

The unicorn shrugged. "We really don't eat around the table much. I'm usually studying, so we mostly eat sandwiches."

"Aw, that's no good, Twi," the cowpony shook her head. "Ya should be eatin' together, it's important."

"I just don't have the time, Princess Celestia always sends me more work to do."

"You have time to hang out with us," the earth pony pointed out.

"Yes, I make time for you girls, I make time for Spike too. Almost any time I'm not with all of you I'm with him."

There was a bit of a silence as the two started eating. "Hey, Twi? ...Do you ever think that maybe you work Spike too hard?"

Twilight shook her head. "He always speaks up if he thinks he's been treated unfairly. Believe me, he wants to work like that."

Applejack rubbed her head with her hoof. "Why? I can't get Apple Bloom that excited about her chores."

Twilight just beamed. "He just wants to make me happy. The day he was born he clung to my leg and wouldn't let go. I had imprinted myself on him, and he wouldn't let anypony else raise him. He always wanted to be around me. I let him be my assistant so he could have an excuse to help me."

The cowpony chuckled. "He don't seem that clingy now."

Twilight smiled a warm smile. "He's grown out of it... mostly. He still wants to sleep in my room instead of his own. That's why he always sleeps in that basket."

Applejack couldn't help but chuckle. "Silly dragon. Always wantin' to be around his mama, huh?"

Twilight blushed. "Something like that, yeah. You see..."

She was cut off by the front door opening, the bell above giving a pleasant ching as it did so. Twilight began to excuse herself to attend to the customer, but the sound of claws on wood stopped her. A moment later, a familiar baby dragon walked into the room.

"Hey Twilight, I'm back!" Spike greeted. "Oh, hey Applejack. Did you stop by for lunch?"

"Well, somethin' like that..." she said slowly.

"There's plenty for you, Spike," Twilight jumped in, not wanting to explain this just yet. "Have a seat."

Spike moved to obey, but stopped. "Hey, Twilight, since when do you wear rings?"

Twilight flinched. Spike reacted the same, afraid he had just done something bad.

"Oh, well..." Twilight said slowly. "You see, last night, me and Applejack... we had a lot of a special big pony drink..."

"You got smashed?"

Twilight's eyes widened. "How do you..."

"Twilight, I'm not sheltered. I grew up in the same place as Blueblood, remember? You and Applejack got drunk. What happened?"

Twilight made a mental reminder to give the spoiled prince a good kick in the flank...or another area, if it could be reached, perhaps while wearing bladed shoes. "...Well, you see... we... kind of... got... married."

Spike's eyes opened wide at this. Applejack and Twilight held their breaths in anticipation.

"Why haven't you gotten it cancelled?"

Both ponies blinked. That was not the reaction they had expected. It hadn't just been a tone of curiosity. It had been panic... worry.

"We tried," the cowpony stepped in, "but th' mayor said it takes three weeks to annul a marriage."

"...But you're going to get it cancelled? It's not real?"

"That's right," Twilight confirmed.

"Oh. Okay." And with that Spike happily sat down and began making himself a plate. He was about halfway through it when he noticed that neither of his tablemates had said anything. He looked up and saw the two ponies gaping at him.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Sorry, Spike," Twilight apologized, "but... everypony else has been laughing their tails off at us. You just seem... relieved."

And it was true. There had been a sense of relief in the young reptile. Scratching the table awkwardly, he spoke. "Well... I was afraid I had missed your wedding. I'd want to be around to see it."

"Oh," Twilight responded as memories of her brother's wedding kept flooding back. "I guess that makes sense." She returned to her meal.

Applejack, on the other hoof, wasn't convinced. There was just something a little... off about the explanation.

"Whoa, Spike, smaller bites," Twilight scolded as her charge swallowed a biscuit nearly whole.

"Aw, come on, Twi," the dragon muttered.

"You know, Spike," Applejack said slyly, "I don't think Rarity would wanna date somepony... or somedragon... who ate like a slob."

Spike stopped. He looked at his plate. Then, he grabbed another biscuit, extended his pinkie, and brought the food to his lips, taking a tiny nibble.

Smiling, Twilight looked at Applejack. "You're good."

In truth, Rarity probably would have welcomed ghastly table manners as opposed to where she was now. She was seated in front of Blueblood's desk, shifting nervously while the stallion leafed through a few papers.

"Alright, here's the deal. Are you aware of our progress with locating the Changeling Queen?"

Rarity shook her head. "I'm afraid not. I daresay that subject seems to have leaked out of the news."

"That was quite intentional," the prince explained. "Because we haven't gotten any significant results."

Rarity was a bit shocked. "You've been forbidding the newspapers from reporting on that?"

Blueblood shook his head. "We don't have to. One of us in the Elite just makes a donkey out of himself in front of the paparazzi. It gets the news off of things that could spread paranoia. The last thing we want is ponies attacking other ponies because they think they're changelings in disguise."

"That still seems a bit... dishonest."

"That's politics, Beautiful."

"Don't call me that."

"That's politics, Sexy."

"...Call me Beautiful," Rarity said through gritted teeth.

"If you insist," Blueblood said with a smile that he had spent years practicing to get the maximum amount of smug self-satisfaction out of. "Now then, we have been hoping to get a lead on the changelings for months, and luckily, I happen to know where to look next."

Blueblood slid a piece of paper across the desk, stopping it directly in front of the mare. She saw it was a flyer, reading 135th Annual Manehatten Fashion Designer Showoff.

"The showoff?" Rarity said, stars appearing in her eyes. "I've always dreamed of having my fashions shown off there!"

"Well, here's your chance," Blueblood responded. "Several members of the Elite are going to be there, but Princess Celestia will not. This makes it the perfect time for the changelings to swoop in and replace some key figures in society. We need somepony on the inside to keep an eye out and report back any suspicious behavior."

Rarity blinked. "Shouldn't I go get my friends for this? This sounds like Element of Harmony business..."

The prince shook his head. "If all of you are there, the changelings will know something is up. If you're alone, they'll think you're just showing off your fashions."

Rarity nodded. "I suppose that makes sense... but what if they try to replace me?"

"We'll have you under guard. They try anything we'll be right there to save you. All you have to do is go there, show off your fashions, keep a few eyes out, and you'll be a free mare, with a few new prospects too as an added bonus. See? Not that bad, is it?"

Rarity couldn't argue. This did seem like a good deal... almost too good. Still, the alternative was worse. "I suppose... am I going to have time to put together some new designs?"

"Are you kidding? That's all you're going to be doing over the next week, aside from learning how to spot a changeling in disguise. You're no good to us if you don't complete the primary objective.”

Rarity blinked. “I don’t think I can learn about that and make dresses all in a week.”

“Oh, it’s easy,” Blueblood said. “And besides, I’ll be with you. I’ll be posing as your escort for the evening...”

Rarity felt her eye twitch involuntarily. “Well...I suppose we can keep up appearances...”

“Oh, and to keep up appearances, we’ll be bunking in the same one bed hotel room.”

“...You will be sleeping on the couch.”

“I am a prince, you’re a commoner. You’ll sleep on the couch.”

Rarity buried her head in her hooves. “...Is it too late to have some of that scotch?”

"I'm afraid so, you have to be sober to work."

And with that, her head made a dent in the desk.

"And you're paying for that."

Fluttershy giggled as Rainbow Dash's kisses moved from her cheek down to her neck. She felt herself shiver a bit. Her kisses reached her collar bone. She began squirming. Her partner went lower...

"Stop!" the pegasus squeaked.

Immediately the command was obeyed. Rainbow Dash removed her lips and replaced them with a hoof. "Right here, then? Here's where you feel uncomfortable?"

Fluttershy blushed, but nodded. "Y-yes. I'm sorry, Dash..."

The cyan mare groaned, flopping down next to her. "Don't apologize, that's your problem. You shouldn't have to do anything like this that makes you uncomfortable."

"But... you'll want to eventually."

"You better believe it,” she uttered, wiggling her eyebrows in a way that made her partner giggle and blush. "But it isn't about what I want right now."

Fluttershy smiled. She wrapped her forelegs across her foalhood friend, placing her head on her chest. Rainbow Dash returned the hug, kissing her on the forehead.

"You still need to grow a backbone, honestly," the cyan mare said. "You can't live like this..."

"I've been fine so far..."

"Whenever I wasn't around in flight school, you were picked on all the time," Rainbow Dash reminded. "And after we moved to Ponyville, you hardly had any friends other than me and Rarity until Twilight moved into town."

Fluttershy found herself unable to counter that claim. She snuggled into her partner's chest, hoping she'd stop talking and just let them cuddle. Unfortunately, she kept going.

"You're just too afraid to say no to anypony. That's why we did what we just did. I was on pins and needles worried I'd take it too far."

"I... I..."

Rainbow Dash finally noted her lover's demeanor. She fought down the urge to point out that her argument had just been validated and held her more tightly.

They stayed that way for a while. So long that Fluttershy fell asleep. Dash didn't mind, she just held her close. She looked at her, truly looked at her for the first time... she was so beautiful. She hadn't noticed before. It was...

And then the powers that be, apparently being bored with running the universe, decided it would just be funny to ruin the moment. A carrot suddenly flew and hit the sleeping Fluttershy in the head. Giving a small yelp, the yellow pegasus flew straight up and out of Rainbow Dash's grip.

Angel stood, tapping his foot impatiently. Holding a pocket watch, odd for Fluttershy to own since she hardly wore clothes, he angrily pointed to the time.

"Oh my, it's feeding time, isn't it?" Fluttershy said apologetically. "I'm so sorry, I just got so caught up resting with..."

Wishing he had a whip to crack, Angel did the next best thing and stomped angrily, pointing toward the kitchen.

"Oh, yes, of course," Fluttershy said apologetically. "Sorry, Rainbow Dash, I've got to feed the animals, and..."

Rainbow Dash suppressed a groan. As rude as Angel had been, Fluttershy had neglected her duties for nearly an hour. Still...

Dash flew up. "No problem, I'll help you," she assured, glaring at the rabbit. Angel just blew a raspberry at her. He then turned and hopped toward the kitchen, waving his tail in a mocking manner.

Well, Dash thought as Fluttershy followed, here's obstacle number one...

Author's Note

Yeah...not a whole lot of humor in this chapter. And very short, shorter than I would have liked. This was mainly a set up for the rest of the plot moving...

It was hard for me to write the last scene. I needed to establish that Fluttershy still had the spine she grew in Putting Your Hoof Down while establishing there was room for improvement. I can see Fluttershy still being too submissive, especially here where she was late in her responsibilities. Thus we begin the Flutter-Dash subplot. More to come...

Deep Thoughts

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you, Applejack?"

The cowpony shook her head at her wife's worry. "I'm sorry, Twi, but I think it's best if you weren't there. Mah family's probably already worried sick 'bout me, and I don't think you bein' there will convince them that this weren't done intentionally."

She sighed, feeling pity for Applejack. With her whole family in either Canterlot or the Crystal Empire, it was easy to keep this little affair a secret from them. But for her partner, whose family was so close knit, there was no avoiding the issue. "Just make it clear this shouldn't affect anything long term and I think you'll be fine."

"I hope so," the cowpony groaned. Her cheeks were already red. "I'll see you tomorrow. You think you'll have an answer by then?"

Twilight lifted an eyebrow in a way that seemed a bit arrogant. "Relax, I'll have a way to undo this by then, at least with the rings. You just go home, I'll handle it."

"Yeah, well... good luck, Twi. I'm countin' on ya."

Angel was not happy. He was losing control on the last area of his life he had any control over. He remembered back when he had control over the other pets. Winona was too stupid, Opal too self-absorbed, and Gummy too... Gummy to stop him or put up any sort of resistance.

Owlowiscious came along. The first time they had met, Angel had commanded him to do something, and he refused, on the grounds that Angel was more than capable of fetching his own carrots. So he had slapped him. The owl glared at him, and then flew up a bit and uncurled his feet, allowing his talons to be shown. From that moment forward, they were the best of friends, meaning that Angel did as he was told or Owlowiscious might have a relapse back into the uncivilized state.

After that, Fluttershy's critter group got the addition of that bear, who, while as dumb as Winona, was at least able to grasp that the one with big muscles didn't have to put up with a fluffy weakling.

Fluttershy was his last area of control, though Iron Will had done a good deal to unravel that. But now there was the rainbowed one, coming in and trying to give her a backbone. Soon he'd have no control, and have to share a house with that slow witted ball of slime Tank too.
He was not about to let that happen.

Which is why the first thing he had done when he realized that they had arrived home was interrupt their sickening mating ritual to demand that his lunch be served. He made sure to be served first, and ate fast enough that by the time Fluttershy was finished, it would be time to wash the dishes.

Unfortunately, the rainbowed one had opted to help Mama with her chore, and the work was getting done too fast. He thought about dirtying the plates that were already cleaned and making her work longer, but it was too easy to get caught.

So as soon as the pair were done and were flying up to the bedroom to be alone, he had thrown a tantrum until Fluttershy agreed to style his tail, much to the rainbowed one's annoyance. Another tantrum got him story time, and by now her lover's patience was used up.

"You need to quit letting that bunny walk all over you," she had demanded, when he thought Angel wasn't listening.. "We don't live in Neighpon, you can say no to him!"

"He just wants to spend time with..."

"No, Fluttershy, don't you see! He's trying to keep us from spending time together!"

"Rainbow!" Fluttershy chastised gently, "Do you really think Angel would be so selfish?"

Her marefriend's level stare was all that was needed.

"...Well, what should I do?"

"Just ignore him! He is the pet, you are the master! You can..."

A tossed carrot interrupted Rainbow Dash's diatribe, as Angel stomped his feet and angrily pointed towards the outside. He wanted to go for a walk.

Fluttershy gulped, looking at her marefriend. She simply motioned at the rabbit, a clear sign to start being more assertive.

"Uh, Angel, don't you think we've spent enough time together today? I'd really like to spend some time with Rain..."

Angel began another tantrum, but he was cut off by Rainbow Dash grabbing him by the ears and hoisting him up.

"Dash, what are you..." Fluttershy began, but her marefriend silenced her.

"You need to be tougher on him," she said firmly, walking over and placing him in one of the pet carriers. She threw him in and locked it.

"We'll call this the 'time out' room," the athletic mare said, turning back to her mate.

"Don't you think that's a little mean?"

"No. Angel needs to learn how to behave." She picked up the cage, with Angel desperately rattling against his prison. "I'm going to put this outside, somewhere in the back yard, then we're going to do little snuggling to get your mind off of things."

"Um, well... okay... just stay out of my shed."

"...What?"

"That's where I keep the nocturnal animals that come to me for treatment. Opening the door would let sunlight in, and that could hurt their eyes."

"...Oh."

As he was carried out, Angel fumed, glaring at his hated enemy. The rainbowed one would pay... he swore it.

Applejack felt her stomach turn in flip flops as she strode up to the farmhouse. Gulping, she looked down at the golden wedding band, still clamped tightly around her forehoof. She considered trying to hide it, but quickly dismissed the notion. Even if she could find a way to do so, she'd have to tell them sometime. Best get it over with.

Taking a deep breath, she entered the house, yelling, "I'm home!"

"AJ? That you?" Granny Smith called out. "Get yer flank in 'ere and help me! Dinner needs to get ready, an' yer brother has his hooves full."

Applejack did as she was told, entering the kitchen to see the matriarch of the Apple Family in the midst of the preparation. As she hit a kettle with a wooden spoon, she turned to her granddaughter. "Where you been all day anywho?"

The farmpony blushed. "Uh, well..."

Thankfully she was spared from answering by Big Macintosh sticking his head in the doorway. "Where do we keep the paint stripper?"

Applejack turned. "In th'... what the hay..."

"Pinkie," Mac said bluntly, still grimacing at the dried pink paint. His eyes drifted down to the golden band on his sister's hoof. "Since when do you wear jewelry?"

Applejack looked down and blushed. "Uh... I'll explain at dinner. It's kind of a long story..."

Suddenly, Big Mac was right in front of his sister, giving her a dangerous look. "What happened to you last night?"

She blinked. "What th' hay got you so upset?"

"Miss Pinkie tied me t' my bed an' painted me pink, Miss Rarity went teleportin' to..."

"Wait, Rarity teleported?" The alarm in Applejack's voice got her brother to stop a moment.

"Eeyup."

Instantly the middle child began to panic. "Twi said that was dangerous to do when you're drunk, and we couldn't find her this morning! I gotta go back 'ta the library an' tell Twi..."

"You don't have to worry!" Pinkie chirped, suddenly entering the room.

Instantly Big Mac let out a yell and backed up, hitting the cabinets in a futile effort to get away. "Please don't hurt me," he whimpered.

Pinkie tilted her head, then giggled. "You look silly. Who painted your fur like..."

"Pinkie," Applejack said sternly, "you were sayin' somethin' about Rarity?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. I saw Rarity. She's going to a fashion convention in Manehatten. And she said she was going to go to Canterlot first for some supplies. She's fine."

"Really? That's kinda sudden without tellin' us."

"Hey, you didn't tell us you were getting married to Twilight until this morning."

"Pinkie!"

"What!?" Came the cry of the other two Apples.

"Oh, you haven't told them yet?"

"No. Pinkie. I. Hadn't," she answered through gritted teeth.

"Mah grandbaby's gettin' married!" Granny Smith said excitedly. "Ooh doggey. I better round up th' kin fer th' weddin'!"

"What? No, Granny, wait..." but she was cut off by Big Mac throwing his forelegs around her.

"Mah baby sister... yer all grown up," he said, tears in his eyes. "An' marryin' a big city pony, too. I'm so proud of you. I get to give you away, don't I?"

"I... Big Mac..." even amongst the madness, her brother's pride was wonderful to hear.

"Oh, the wedding's already happened!"

That caused them to stop. "Wha?"

Applejack blushed. "Um... I had a little too much last night, and, well... I kinda woke up married to Twi..."

There was silence..

"I see," Granny Smith said at last, her voice neutral. "And what are you fixin' to do about this?"

Applejack shifted nervously. "Well, Twi says the marriage is invalid since we was drunk, so we're gonna get an annulment... it'll be like it never happened."

"...I see," the matriarch said at last. "It ain't a divorce?"

"No ma'am."

"Well alright then. Can ya go fetch me some apples from out in th' orchard?"

Applejack blinked at the quick dismissal. “You ain’t mad?”

Granny shook her head, a smile crossing her lips. “Darlin’, we all do crazy things when we’re young. Why, I remember th’ one summer when me an yer great cousin Apple Rose took one too many mugs... let me tell you, wakin’ up in th’ city slammer was not th’ greatest thing, but it was worth it fer that night! Them stallions... they were good...”

Both Applejack and Big Mac’s eyes widened. “G-Granny,” the younger mare said weakly, “I really don’t think we need to hear this!”

“Of course you do, it’s important ta know where yer pappy came from...”

“What?” Was the cry of both grandchildren.

“Wha? Our Pa... how in th...” Applejack said faintly, though she regained some of her senses when she noticed her grandmother was laughing uproariously.

“...Yer pullin’ out leg, ain’t ya?” Applejack said bluntly.

“Yes sirree! You youngin’s are so easy!

"Granny..." Big Mac said disapprovingly, but Pinkie cut him off.

"So why is your fur pink?"

Remembering who else was in the room, the stallion back up against the cabinets once more. "You painted it!"

"I did?" Pinkie tilted her head. "I don't remember that... oh well, here, I'll help you get it off."

"Th-that's alright," he stammered, "I'm fine with..."

But Pinkie, who was a lot stronger than she looked, just pulled along. "Don't worry, I know a great trick for getting paint off! I used it every time I used paint when I was little!"

Big Mac gulped and looked to Granny Smith for help. She just kept laughing.

Twilight could barely concentrate on her research.

It made sense, because she wasn't following a basic rule that Celestia had taught her about research, namely that one should always concentrate on one problem at a time. In this case, she had three.

Finding a spell to remove the rings was the subject she had given top priority. She had found several spells that could have been the one she was looking for, and through process of elimination she had found the most likely one. Once Applejack arrived the next day, she would try it.

The following problem was finding out who had been responsible for this whole mess. They didn't have very many enemies, none that still lived, at any rate. She racked her brain trying to come up with a suspect that wasn't in the meager list they had.

The final puzzle was one that had carelessly entered her mind during her research, and would simply not leave, despite her best efforts to shoo it out: was she attracted to Applejack? She had married her, after all... drunkenly, true, but as she had said, alcohol didn't change who you were attracted to, not completely anyway. And like she had noted, she was pretty. She tried focusing on her research, but the thought came back again. Applejack... she was a mare she respected. A bit lacking in book smarts, true, but anypony who dismissed her as stupid was sadly mistaken. She was clever when she needed to be, and practical at all times, something she admired.

She grinned. Even that first day, when she was in a hurry to get back to researching NightMare Moon, she had fun at the reunion, and she had loved her cooking.

She mused a bit. Clever, practical, family meant a good deal to her, she got along well with Spike and the rest of her family, they both thought the other was cute... She thought on Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Their first reaction to being attracted to each other while drunk was to try a relationship. Maybe that was logical...

She shook her head. Love wasn't logical, that's what everypony said. She had found friendship illogical, but she was still willing to give up anything for it. What should she do? She thought a moment longer. Would Applejack even approve of such a relationship?

Then she had a start. Through the haziness of the night before, she remembered her conversation with Applejack.

“You’ll go on off an’ forget all about Ponyville… an’ me. I’ll be stuck on this farm ‘till I’m as old as Granny Smith…”

Her eyes widened as all other thought processes stopped cold. She mentally cursed herself. How could she forget? Her friend was hurting. They needed to have a talk...

She pushed the thought aside. She couldn’t do anything right now, and she had more work to do. She looked over her list of suspects once more, reading the list, ranked top to bottom in order of most likely. Chrysalis topped the chart, followed by Discord, Trixie, Flim & Flam, and Gilda ending last.

She pawed her chin. Chrysalis would be the worst, since there was no way to investigate her without knowing her location, something nopony knew at the moment. She knew where Trixie was thanks to the flow of news. She had made it to Manehatten, where she had managed a stage show that was getting attention. Gilda and the Flim Flam Brothers would be harder to find, but it was still doable.

She took a deep breath. Now came the hard part.

“Spike,” she called, “I need you to take a letter.”

“Please, Miss Pinkie,” Big Mac whined as his fellow earth pony scrubbed him. Not hard, like he expected, she was surprisingly gentle. But this was the same mare that had put him in this position in the first place.

“Uh, uh, can’t do it,” she shook her head as she washed off his paint with a mixture she had brewed herself. It was amazingly solvent to the paint, so she saw no reason in leaving. “I made this mess, I’m going to clean it up.”

“That’s kind of you, but really...” He jerked back as Pinkie moved to his back legs, knowing his... equipment was near there. “That’s fine, Miss Pinkie, I’ll get there mahself!”

“You sure?” she quizzed.

“Pinkie...” Applejack noted as she watched her bother getting bathed, “can just soakin’ in this stuff git it off?”

“Uh-huh, but it takes sooooo long...”

“Well maybe Big Mac would enjoy a soak, wouldn’t you say?”

The stallion nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes, I can handle it, Miss Pinkie! You really can go now.”

“Uh-uh, you need somepony to talk to, and I have plenty to talk about? Ooh! I thought a great new way to make a ChimiCherryChanga! You...”

“Pinkie...” Applejack said carefully. “Could you go help Granny Smith make dinner? I need to have a word with mah brother.”

“Aww, do I have...”

“Pinkie,” the cowpony repeated sternly.

“...Okay,” Pinkie said, disappointed. She brightened up quickly. “Ooh! Maybe I can get the pie recipe from her!”

The two Apples watched their friend bounce back toward the farmhouse. As Big Mac breathed a sigh of relief, his sister turned to him.

“Um, listed, Big Mac... I wanna know... all that stuff you said ‘bout me an’ Twi... you’d really have been happy if I married her?”

The stallion looked at her oddly. “Of course I would. I’d be happy if you found yerself a mare to settle down with.”

Applejack smiled. She had discovered her orientation at fifteen, and Big Mac and Granny Smith immediately switched from telling her to find a stallion to telling her to find a mare and a nice foal who need a home. “Well... I meant Twi specifically? If I had really wanted to marry her, would y’all be allright with it?”

That got a look. “Of course. Miss Twilight’s a sweet mare. I see her coddle that dragon o’ hers. An’ she’s successful, beautiful... I know you’d be in good hooves.”

“But... you know I’d hafta leave th’ farm, right?” she said suddenly, sounding exasperated. “Twi ain’t gonna be happy stayin’ here forever. She’s a mare with class. Whatever th’ Princess is teachin’ her, she ain’t gonna waste it here. There’s... there’s nothin’ here I could offer anypony...”

Big Macintosh looked at her sister with worried eyes. “...It sounds like you’ve been thinkin’ hard about this.”

Applejack’s eyes widened, as if she had just realized what she said. “Well...” she sighed.

“Sis, if you like Miss Twilight...”

“I never said that!” she snapped. “I just...” she calmed down. “Gettin’ an Element and becomin’ friends with Twi...I guess it got me seein’ things different. In a good way. I never would have been such good friends with Rainbow, or Pinkie, or Fluttershy...heck, I probably would have never even talked to Rare without absolutely needin’ it, and now I wouldn’t trade her fer anythin’. I’m happy, but...”

Big Macintosh tilted his head. “Are you not happy on th’ farm?”

“Of course not,” she pleaded. “I love it here...but I think that’s the problem.” She sighed. “I’m always goin’ out of town now and...well, when we went to the weddin’...” She gulped. “I’m just startin’ ta wonder if I’m ever gonna find anypony ta settle down with.”

“We haven’t had a problem for several generations...”

Applejack hung her head. "We hardly left Ponyville in that time. I’m always out an’ about...”

“Not that much...” her brother tried to argue. “What makes you think nopony out there would find you attractive?”

She shifted her eyes a bit. “Well...really, I think...it’s bein’ around the others.”

Big Man raised an eyebrow. “What’s that mean?”

“I mean, look at Rarity, or Fluttershy, or even Twilight! They got stallion lookin’ them up n’ down, even if Twi don’t realize it half th’ time. Ponies admire Rainbow ‘cause she can do all those tricks. But me...I’m stuck here.”

“...AJ...” Big Mac groaned. It hurt seeing his sister like this, but she kept goin’.

“I’m nuttin’ special. I’ve got no magic, no wings, no fashion sense, no...whatever it is Pinkie has. I don’t got anythin’ to offer any mare, much less one like Twi...”

Big Macintosh pulled himself out of the tub. This alarmed his sister, who tried to stop him.

“Big Mac, what the hay...” she began before he wrapped his forelegs around her in a gentle hug.

“Applejack...you listen here. You’re a beautiful young mare. Yer gonna make somepony happy someday, I know it. Don’t be talkin’ ‘bout yerself like that.”

She blushed as she hugged back. “I...I know. I guess...I don’t know. Irregardless, mah friends are gonna drift away from me one day. I’m gonna miss ‘em. I’m just...I’m scared when that happens.”

Big Mac parted, then cupped her sister’s chin. “You wanna talk about it a little more?”

She shifted. “Well...

At that point, Granny Smith’s voice bellowed from the farmhouse. “Applejack, get yer hide in hear! Yer sister just got home, an’ somepony’s gonna hafta explain this to her!”

Applejack cringed, looking at her home. She turned back to her brother, who gave her a look that told her their conversation wasn’t over, then motioned her to go.

"So ya see," Applejack said carefully, "me an' Twi had too much of the adult drinks..."

"Ya'll got smashed?" Apple Bloom asked.

The three older Apples widened their eyes at the filly's knowledge. Angrily, Granny Smith came forward, ready to cuff her granddaughter's ears. "Where th' hay did you learn such language?"

"Last night, Spike taught us all the words he learned from an actual prince."

Applejack felt her eye twitch. "Well, I'll just have to tell Twi what her kid's been up to. Anyway, last night, after me an' Twi... got smashed... we kinda accidentally married each other."

There was a moment of silence.

"Really? That's neat!"

The three older Apples looked at each other with a bit of shock. "Apple Bloom, why are you so happy about this?"

"Twilight would be a cool sister-in-law! She knows all that magic ‘n' everything!"

Granny Smith and Big Macintosh both seemed a bit put off by this, but Applejack just sighed. "Don't get too attached now. Me an' Twi already agreed to get it annulled. We're gonna do it as soon as possible."

"Aw," Apple Bloom sulked. "But you two would be so cute together!"

Applejack blushed, while Granny Smith snorted with suppressed laughter. "Well... I'm sorry," she said, "but we ain't stayin' together... an' I don't want no matchmakin' either!"

They were all pretty sure Big Mac was blushing under his coat, remembering the incident with Miss Cheerilee.

Apple Bloom kicked the ground, but muttered a forced "Okay..."

Rarity groaned as she finished her last sketch. She hung it on her billboard with the other five. The basic designs were done. Now all that was left was the labor.

She looked around her bedroom and workroom, a place she was not allowed to leave except under escort. There was a sewing machine, a few ponnequins, and a library of fabric and accessories of every color. Blueblood was keeping her well supplied, at least.

She was just getting out her first roll when Blueblood came in. Behind him were a few baggage handlers, carrying a generous amount of Rarity's things.

"Where do you want these put?" one of the workers asked.

"Clothes in the closet, fabrics near the workbench, I'll sort everything out later," the mare answered, returning to her work and making a point not to talk to Blueblood.

Unfortunately, the prince had something to say anyway. "As soon as we leave, get cleaned and put on your best dress."

Rarity froze, a chill running down down her back. "Whyever would I do that?" she asked icily.

"Our cover is that we're dating, remember? We need to put up the appearance. I would have liked to start this a month ago, but beggars can't be choosers, I suppose."

"No, no, no, no, no!" Rarity said quickly. "I absolutely refuse to partake in this! You are taking advantage of me..."

"Oh yes, how dare I treat you to a meal at a five-star restaurant." It was said without losing the smug tone, which annoyed her more than if it had been said sarcastically. "Honestly, it's either that or gruel."

"Gruel? How could you treat a lady like this?"

"Because the lady in question committed a felony and is being punished for it. Honestly, you might get some nice surroundings, but don't forget this is a prison, not a vacation."

Rarity gritted her teeth. She couldn't argue with that, which made it all the more infuriating.

"Your best dress. I have to be with a mare who looks good.”

Author's Note

Well, this story's gotten away from me. I originally conceived it as just a TwiJack fic, but ideas kept pouring on...interesting. Well, enjoy, criticisms welcome!

And yeah, not much humor, but this was more of an exposition/get through feelings chapter.

A Most Forgettable Evening

Dinner at Sweet Apple Acres consisted of all four members of the family 90% of the time. A good deal of the time there was a fifth seat at the table for a guest, and tonight it was Pinkie Pie, who was currently entertaining Apple Bloom with a story her Granny Pie had taught her during her youth. The little filly was clapping excitedly as Pinkie explained how the Rainbow of Light destroyed Tirek.

Applejack was glad the rest of the family was distracted. It have her a chance to simply be quiet and think. Think about Twilight.

She looked at the ring on her forehoof. It was still there, still not coming off. Legally, Twilight was her wife for the next three weeks. And that made things uncomfortable. Now, she was constantly thinking about Twilight.

And what's worse, it meant that Twilight was currently thinking of her.

She felt herself squirming in her seat, hoping her family didn't see. Twilight was a naïve pony. If she started thinking about the whole thing, she might decide it was a good idea to start dating. Like it was really that simple.

She wouldn't think ahead, to the inevitable. When it was time for all of Celestia's training to come to fruition, Twilight would go back to Canterlot, or to an area of Equestria far away like the Crystal Empire, and Applejack wouldn't follow. She couldn't. She couldn't leave behind farm life, or her family, or Ponyville.

If Twilight suggested it, it would mean rejecting her. It would mean hurting Twilight, a friend she had already truly hurt once before. She couldn't allow that.

"Applejack?"

"Huh?" she said suddenly, coming to attention. The other four were staring at her.

"You seemed zoned out," Apple Bloom said.

"Uh... yeah. It's been a long day. If it's allright with y'all, I think I'm just gonna head on up to bed."

"Well, sure, if you're not feelin' good," Granny Smith said, though it was unnecessary, Applejack was already getting up and carrying her plate to the sink.

Rarity had to admit, the coach and carriage was nice, even with the present company. Blueblood hadn't been much for small talk, spending most of the ride admiring himself in a mirror. Sighing, the mare finally spoke. "Where are you taking me?"

"A nice, fancy restaurant. Good, moonlight view on the balcony... Auntie Luna just put up a new constellation, and I'd like to see it."

"Oh? You enjoy her work?"

"Of course... she is family." There was silence for a moment. "Well, technically there is no blood, but since Auntie Tia did help raise me, I consider her so."

Rarity actually raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I've heard of that. Everypony knows you as the Princess's nephew, but..."

"...My parents..." He said that not in a loving tone. In fact, it was more akin to the way Celestia talked about Discord. "...Nevermind. I don't know you well enough to get into that."

Rarity nodded, feeling somewhat surprised at getting a reaction out of Blueblood that didn't involve him sounding unjustifiably proud of himself. Slowly, she returned her gaze to the window. However, Blueblood still wanted to talk. "You say you know Twilight... does she ever talk about me?"

That surprised her. She turned and gaped at him. "Wh-what?"

"I asked a simple question. Come now, I know you were taught in public schools, but even so..."

"Oh, you..." she growled angrily, but reeled herself in when she remembered what her pardon was riding on. "No, she never talks about you."

Blueblood looked disappointed. Rarity reached. "Please do not tell me you have... romantic inclinations towards my friend."

"What? No," he said, looking out of his window regretfully. "I was merely asking because we grew up together in the palace. We didn't see each other often, mind... even when we were young, she always wanted to read or study over spending time with anypony."

"That sounds like her," she admitted. "She hardly talks about her life before Ponyville unless we directly ask her... we didn't even know she had a brother until a week before his wedding...'

He nodded. "We still spent some time together... Auntie Tia always took us both out to places... the three of us, and that dragon of hers... never got off her back if he could help it."

"Spike was clingy?" Rarity asked, intrigued.

"Very much so. I believe Twilight told me once that baby dragons in the wild don't leave their mother's sides. The poor thing thought Twilight was his mother."

Rarity chuckled. "Oh that's just adorable," she cooed. Then she sighed. "The poor thing..."

"Does he still chase after mares?"

Rarity jumped a bit at this. "Um, well... he has a crush on me... just a little puppy love... are you saying I'm not the first?"

He laughed that laugh that made Rarity want to hit him. "Far from it. He came to me wanting dating advice. He was trying to impress his foalsitter Moondancer."

Rarity's eye twitched. "What did you tell him?"

Blueblood blinked curiously. "I just told him to wait a while to see if his crush would last. I'm not going to make him think he had a chance with her... it was just one of those foalhood crushes everypony gets."

Rarity calmed. "Well, yes... I've been hoping his little crush me will end soon... I must say, you seem to like Spike. Twilight said the nobles were not fond of him."

Blueblood tapped the window of the carriage a moment. "I was... a bit skeptical when I heard there would be a dragon living in the palace. But Aunt Tia approved of it, and I trust her judgement."

"...I see," Rarity said, a bit stunned.

"Besides, Spike seems like an alright fellow... he could behave himself well enough, anyway. And I did enjoy the get togethers the three of us had with Auntie... ah, we're here."

The carriage indeed rolled to a halt at that moment. The side door opened, and Blueblood stept out. Then, he offered his hoof. "Let's let the evening commence."

"No... no..." Fluttershy whimpered as it came ever closer. "Please... please... no! No! No... wahahahaha!"

The laughter was due to hooves and feathers pressing against her. Rainbow Dash's wings and hooves gripped into her sides. "Then tell me, who's the most beautiful mare in Equestria?"

"Ah ha, ahha... you are!"

"Wrong," Rainbow Dash answered, tickling her partner faster.

"Ahha, ahha, I... I don't understand. What's the answer?"

"I think you can figure it out," she smirked, blowing a raspberry on her tummy. Lifting up and sighing at the long wail that came out, she continued, "Come on, I'll give you a hint: she lives in Ponyville."

Through the laughs, she spoke. "M-me?"

And the tickling stopped. "By Celestia's good graces, you are." She kissed her again. Fluttershy kissed back.

Rainbow Dash rolled over and pulled the covers over her both of them. "Today... has been a good day," she said contently.

Fluttershy giggled happily, snuggling up to her lover. "I can't believe we just spent the whole day inside..."

"Don't get used to it," Rainbow Dash mumbled. "I need to get back to work tomorrow, and practice..." she smirked. "... teasing Applejack and Twilight."

"You're staying here tonight?"

She nuzzled her partner. "Of course. In fact... I think I'd like to stay tomorrow too."

Fluttershy blushed. "Um, you don't think we're moving too fast?"

"...Not really. We're just cuddling. Are you uncomfortable?"

"No... I like having you around."

The cyan pegasus kissed her cheek. "And I like being here. I'll drop Tank off here tomorrow morning before I go to work. Then, when I get off, we'll go out on our first real date. Sound good?"

She blushed. "Um... yes. It sounds very good."

Dinner started up peacefully. When Rarity was offered the wine list, she first made sure she was allowed to drink on this date. When Blueblood nodded yes, she ordered the strongest they had, needing it after the day she had experienced.

"Don't drink too much," Blueblood hissed. "Loose lips and all that."

Rarity still gulped down a quarter of her glass. "I'm sorry, but being drafted into such a..."

Blueblood held up a hoof angrily. "Don't talk about it in public," he whispered harshly.

"Then what are we supposed to talk about?"

"Anything," Blueblood said, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. "As long as it's not about the mission or my family."

Rarity stayed silent a moment. "How well did you know Twilight?"

"Quite well," he said. "Our excursions with Aunt Tia were about once a month. We were a kind of family for a while..."

Rarity tilted her head in surprise. For once, the arrogance was out of Blueblood's voice. He seemed genuinely lost, remembering a better time. "Where were these... excursions?"

"Various places. Everywhere from Wonderbolt Derbies to operas to even local carnivals when she traveled. I must admit, there was a certain charm to commoner entertainment."

Rarity scowled.

"Oh, do smile. We're supposed to be dating."

Slowly, the most unconvincing smile crossed her features. "So. You. Spent. A. Good. Deal. Of. Time. With. Twilight?"

Blueblood smiled. "Of course... you know, I was her first kiss."

It took a great deal of restraint for Rarity not to blurt out a loud exclamation to that. Seeing her shock, Blueblood smiled and told the story. "We were sixteen then... Twilight was never really interested in dating. But one day, she knocked on my bedroom door and asked for some help. She was... finding her orientation, as it were. So she asked for a kiss to see if she enjoyed it."

Rarity's hoof hit her head. "She... argh... her first kiss... and she treated it like a science experiment?"

"That's Twilight, isn't it?"

Despite herself, Rarity couldn't help but grin. "I suppose so... so did she enjoy the kiss?"

"She did. But..." He paused, wondering if he should continue. Finally, he threw caution to the wind. "She enjoyed kissing Moondancer just as much."

Rarity's eyes widened. "Really? I never would have guessed. So... what happened after that?"

"I suggested we try dating, but Twilight wasn't interested. She just wanted to know her preference, and once that was done, it was back to books. Moondancer and I dated a bit, but nothing really came of it."

Rarity sighed. "That mare... what am I going to do with her?"

"So... how about you?"

She blinked. "Pardon?"

"I just told you Twilight's orientation. Forgive me, but I believe we passed the normal taboo."

Rarity blushed a bit, but to her own surprise, she wasn't angry. She answered. "I was always into stallions."

"And I was always into mares," he replied, out of obligation.

Rarity didn't answer, going deep into thought. "Twilight is attracted to mares... I wonder if she could have a crush on any of us?"

"You mean, any of the other Bearers?"

Rarity nodded. "I truly hope it doesn't come to that... romance is a good way to make a friendship awkward."

He nodded understandingly. "To be honest, I'm amazed she's made friends. From what I hear, she's happier than she's ever been. I must know, how did you do it?"

She shrugged sheepishly. "I suppose after you face a terrible villain together, it has a way of bonding you."

He smiled. "I suppose... tell me about your friends. Maybe Twilight would like one of them."

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm so, so, sooo sorry about this. I might have brought shame upon you with my recent actions. As of last night, I have put myself in a bind and I need your help.

You see, last night, Applejack and I had a little too much cider. We somehow ended up in Las Pegasus and somepony there married us.

We were clearly intoxicated, yet the mare running the ceremony let it happen. As an addendum to that, the rings we were given cannot be removed, and it seems that somepony bribed the Mayor into keeping us together. This is a disturbing development, one that I have been looking into. I've made a list of possible suspects, but nopony seems very likely. Still, I plan to look into what I have.

I'm asking for your help, Princess. I've attached my list of suspects, as well as the wedding video, and I'm asking you to send any information you have that could help me.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

Princess Celestia looked over the letter in disbelief. Her eyes shifted to the tape. Slowly, she lifted it with her magic, inserted it into her VCR, and hit play.

Several minutes later, the tape ended. Celestia double-checked her room, making sure the soundproof spells were still in place.

And then she burst out laughing.

“Hmm... honestly, this Applejack sounds like she would be the best match.”

“Applejack?” Rarity said, sounding scandalized. “But she’s completely uninterested in romance... or even looking formal.”

“Well then, the two of them would have something in common,” he grinned. She hated herself for thinking that was funny. “Honestly though, I can picture it. Twilight was always a pony of practicality... she’d likely appreciate a simple life, as long as she had her books. She did move to your backwater town, after all.”

Rarity was beginning to get deadened to the insults. “Yes, well... that’s assuming Twilight’s planning to stay there her whole life.”

“Likely not,” Blueblood muttered as he cut into his entree. “Auntie will likely stick her somewhere in the higher government.” He took a bite, thinking as he chewed. “I’m surprised you do business there.”

“I’ll have you know I’ve managed to get commissions from all over Equestria,” he said sternly, trying to keep her temper. She sighed. “Why do you not like the lower classes so much?”

Blueblood arched an eyebrow. “I have nothing against the lower class.”

Rarity snapped. “Then why treat me the way you did?”

“Because you were trying to bag yourself a trophy husband and live off my wealth,” he said sharply. “Face it, you didn’t know anything about me before this dinner. You just wanted somepony to sweep you off your hooves and carry you into the sunset, didn’t you?”

Rarity gritted her teeth at the truth of that, but still found herself acting ornery. “Then why not just say, ‘No thank you?’ Why torment me like that?”

“Okay, that I did because it was fun.”

Rarity glared at him. Then finished off her wine glass.

Twilight was feeling good. It took hours of research, but she had finally found a counterspell that would get the rings off. Now all she had to do was wait until Applejack was back in the morning to cast it.

Her research into her suspects, as unlikely as they were, had yielded results as well. She had kept tabs on Trixie since she had been corrupted by the Alicorn Amulet. She was currently headlining her own show in Manehattan, a reasonable success. After finding out that Flim & Flam had attempted to cheat Rarity's friends out of their land, she had kept tabs on them as well. They traveled a bit, though last she heard they were in Canterlot, a quick trip. Discord was currently on his mission, though it would have been child's play for him to have teleported here to play his games. Gilda was likely still in griffon territory, she could get an exact address from Rainbow Dash... hopefully.

She'd have to make travel plans to them tomorrow. She needed to question everypony.

That only left the changelings. Nopony had seen them since the wedding. It wasn't likely them motive-wise, but they had the resources. And a wedding was tied to love... maybe they did have something to do with it.

Her thoughts also drifted back to Applejack. She needed to have a talk with her sometime soon as well. Perhaps trying a relationship afterwards would not be so bad.

Spike cooked Twilight her favorite nachos for dinner. She ate hungrily, bathed, and brushed her teeth. Then, she climbed into bed, ready for a good night's sleep.

Applejack lay in bed, her mind still racing. What was going to happen? Would their friendship survive? Maybe if she got some sleep, things would be clearer.

However, any chance of sleep ended when a bright glow suddenly lit up the bedroom. Applejack sat up. "Ow. Hey! What in tarnation?"

She saw now, the ring. It was glowing. "What the hay?"

Suddenly, a beam of light shot from the ring. It struck Applejack's window, forcing it open.

"Wha-" she began, but suddenly her foreleg pulled her into the air, levitating her above the bed. "Huh?"

And then she shot out of the room, hoof first, heading across town at blinding speeds.

Twilight lay in bed, trying to get to sleep. She had a big day tomorrow, she couldn't be exhausted.

So imagine her surprise when she felt herself involuntary sitting up, and a bright flash of light blinding her vision. She was only able to give a cry of surprise before a beam of light shot out and struck her window forcing it open.

"Twilight?" Spike yelled leaping up. "What's wrong?"

Twilight didn't answer. She was too distracted by a small orange dot on the horizon that was steadily getting bigger. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And with that, Applejack came in through the window, landing on Twilight's bed and in her forelegs, completely eye to eye with each other.

"...What the? Applejack, what happened?"

"I... I don't know. Somethin' pulled me here."

"Was there a bright flash of light?"

"Yeah, I..." she began, but cut off when she got a good look at Twilight. "Twi... yer ring is glowing."

"Yours too," she noted, looking at the band across her hoof, still shimmering. "I was right, these rings have other spells woven into them.

"...I... I think they're makin' us sleep in the same bed!"

"What?"

"...HA HA HA HA!" Spike laughed, doubling over.

"It's not funny, Spike!" Applejack said angrily, blushing.

"Yes it is!" was his only reply between breaths.

Applejack lifted herself from her wife. "Twi... please tell me ya found a way ta get these rings off."

"Yes... but I'm too tired to cast it right now. Let's just get some sleep."

Applejack blinked. "Y...you want ta sleep in the same bed?"

Twilight blushed. "Not like that. You and Rarity slept in the same bed after all. We can do that and still stay platonic."

"I... I guess so," she said slowly. Carefully, as if taking her time, she eased her way under the covers.

"Comfy?" Twilight asked.

"Y-yeah... sorry, Twi, I'm a little shaken."

"It's okay. Let's just get some sleep." She thought a moment. "You think you'll able to get back to sleep, Spike?"

"Y-yeah," he laughed, still not over his amusement. "L-let's just get some sleep."

"Yeah," Applejack said slowly as Twilight lay her head down, just inches from Applejack's face. "...sleep."

Author's Note

Well, here it is. Yes, the focus this chapter is on Rarity and Blueblood. I swear, their plot is going to tie back into the TwiJack plot. Next chapter will focus on them.

Oh, and the Flim & Flam bit is referencing IDW's Micro Series.

The First Night

"...This ain't workin', Twi."

"Why?"

"Well, it's just... it's makin' me uncomfortable."

"We're just sleeping. It's like I said, it just like when you and Rarity shared a bed..."

"No, it ain't!" the cowpony said suddenly, lifting herself out of Twilight's bed and putting her hooves on the ground. "I'm sorry, Twi. With Rare, we were just friends. Here... we just got married, everythin's awkward now..."

"Applejack..." Twilight said sadly.

"Can't ya cast th' spell now?"

The unicorn shook her head. "I'm afraid not. It's a complicated spell and I'm dead tired. I'm going to need at least a full night's sleep before I cast it."

"I don't think that's gunna be happenin' here, Twi. Can't you drag out yer spare bed?"

The unicorn looked at her oddly, getting out of bed herself. "Why? The spell made us sleep in the same bed."

"Yeah, but... maybe we just have to sleep in th' same house or somethin'. Couldn't we try that first?"

Twilight sighed. "I guess we could. I don't see what the big deal is."

"Well..." she trailed off. Trying to explain social conventions to Twilight was always a tricky business. "Did ya tell th' Princess about... all this?"

"I sent her a message, I'm sure she's already deep in investigation about it."

"Sister, I have arrived!" Luna announced, trotting into her sister's room. "I came as soon as Night Court has ended. Now tell me, what important..."

She was cut off by her sister magically shutting the door and pulling her over to her bed. She was wearing the expression of a foal in a candy store. "Luna! Come here, you have to see this!"

"Sister, what has gotten into..."

Then the tape started playing.

Within minutes, Luna was rolling on the floor laughing.

It took about fifteen minutes, with Spike mumbling that he wasn't getting any sleep, but at last the guest bed was set. Applejack crawled into bed, with Twilight into her own.

They waited for ten tense seconds. Nothing happened.

"Well... I guess that's that," Applejack said as she began to relax. "We can rest like this tonight an..."

The rings lit up again, and Applejack felt herself being jerked up and flopped over, landing directly on top of Twilight. Their muzzles touched and their cheeks burned, not helped by Spike finding the display hilarious.

It took a few seconds of awkwardness before either did anything about the predicament. They quickly untangled themselves, each falling off their own side of the bed, which Spike found even more hilarious.

"Okay... that didn't work..." Twilight said.

"Maybe if we pushed th' beds together, side by side. That'd at least give us some space..."

"It's worth a try..."

The carriage ride back to the palace took the same route, but it seemed a lot bumpier after three glasses of wine. Rarity teetered, as did Blueblood, who took every occasion, including dentist appointments, as celebrations to drink to.

"You know," Rarity slurred, "maybe it's the alcohol talking, but... but... you actually look very handsome tonight."

"Thank you," Blueblood grinned cheekily. "And you look very beautiful yourself, and I know it's the alcohol talking."

"Oh, you charmer," Rarity giggled, like anything her date said was the funniest thing ever. "I could just listen to you talk all night."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"There," Twilight said. The beds were now side-by-side. "Now, let's try this again."

They climbed into their beds. They waited.

Then the rings lit up again, and Applejack was rolled until she was resting in her wife's forelegs.

And once again, Spike laughed.

"I don't believe this," Applejack fumed, pulling herself apart from Twilight.

"I guess that's that... we have to sleep in the same bed, period."

"Well then, let's just get some sleep, then," the cowpony muttered, turning her back to her partner. At the very least, she could make this as unromantic as possible.

The rings lit up, and she was flipped to be facing Twilight.

Spike laughed again.

"Spike..." Twilight said slowly, sounding a little afraid, "please go sleep in another room."

Instantly the baby dragon stopped laughing. "What? I'm sorry, Twilight, I promise I won't laugh, please don't..."

"It's not that, Spike. It's just... I'm not entirely sure what these rings are going to make us do next."

There was silence at the unicorn's point. Then, he snatched up his basket and blanket and dashed out of the room, leaving the mares in a very uncomfortable position.

Celestia entered her room, having excused herself to use the bathroom, only to find a familiar sound playing.

"She's asking if you want to wake up next to this every morning!" The tape rewound. "She's asking if you want to wake up next to this every morning!" The tape rewound. "She's asking if you want to wake up next to this every morning!" The tape rewound.

"Luna!"

"Forgive me, dear sister, but thy student truly has a delicious flank!"

Celestia felt her eye twitch a little. "Luna... you realize Twilight is like a daughter to me..."

"Well, there's no blood you share, is there?"

"No, but..."

"Then I'll allow myself the eye candy!" She rewound the tape again. Celestia put her hoof to her face.

Applejack had nice freckles, Twilight decided. There wasn't much else to do right now but count them. Five on one cheek, seven on the other. They looked cute. She had never really noticed before. Then again, there was a lot she never noticed about Applejack's face before she was forced to stare at it for an extended period of time.

Like her eyes... they were pretty too...

Twilight was beginning to understand why Applejack found this whole thing awkward.

The cowpony squirmed and shifted on her side of the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. But nothing she did could hide the fact that there were only a few inches of personal space separating her from the other mare.

"Applejack... why is it so different now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are things so awkward? It's not like we actually wanted to get married... shouldn't things still be the same between us?"

"It should, but it ain't."

"You mean, 'but it isn't'."

Despite herself, Applejack couldn't help but smile. "Still tryin' ta fix my grammar?"

"Well, somebody has to," she smiled back.

Then, suddenly, Applejack's grin faded and she was squirming uncomfortably.

"What's wrong?"

She sighed. "I guess I really don't know that much about talkin’ proper..."

"So? I don't know that much about farming."

"Yeah, but... it's not like you're expected to know that..."

"Applejack, stop. It really doesn't bother me how you talk. Where'd all this come from, anyway?"

Applejack shifted. Twilight felt her eyes widen. "Last night... Applejack, I think we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," she said stubbornly, turning away from her. The ring lit up again, forcing her to face Twilight once again. She stared at her foreleg. "Consarn it!"

"Applejack, please..." Twilight said. She threw her forelegs around Applejack's neck, pulling her close.

"What th' hay? Twi... what are you..."

"You don't have to tell me anything tonight," Twilight said softly. "But something's bothering you. And when you're ready, you can tell me." She slipped Applejack's head under her own, so that the top of her head rested comfortably under her chin.

Applejack stayed silent. Partly because Twilight's soft words had stunned her, and partly because she was pressed up against her now. There was no personal space anymore.

Twilight pulled her closer, calmly stroking her mane, hoping Applejack would start talking. She never did. She looked at the clock hanging on the wall. A minute passed. Then ten. Fifteen. Thirty.

Applejack fell asleep. Twilight wasn't quite ready to. She was thinking.

In many ways, she knew Applejack was a simple pony. She had very little in the way of wants. Her home, her family, her friends, and a field to work in were all she really wanted. And indeed, much to Twilight's shame, when they had first met she had written her off as a mere hick.

But that was a different Twilight. She was far from the pony she was before she received the Element of Magic. And she knew better now. Applejack was deep in several ways, and that included emotions. But she couldn't figure them out here.

Applejack's lack of proper enunciation had never bothered her before. So why now? Had she unknowingly made her friend uncomfortable by pointing out her deficiency?

Suddenly that seemed like a very real possibility.

Oh no, what was I thinking! I hurt Applejack's feelings, and now she thinks that she's stupid, and she has low self-esteem, and it's all my fault! What if she tries to stop being my friend because she thinks I'm not good enough! Then the Apple Family will hate me, and the others will hate me, then Celestia will...

She stopped. She remember the incident with the Equestria Games inspector. She took a few deep breaths.

Stay calm, Twi... Applejack needs you right now. She always so strong and dependable, you can't let her down if she needs you.

She looked at Applejack's sleeping form. She looked pretty cute when asleep...

Both Rarity and Blueblood wanted to just stumble into their rooms and sleep off their intoxication, but one didn't ignore a summon from both Princesses, especially when it involved entering Princess Celestia's personal chambers.

"Alright... we're here, Auntie Celestia," said Blueblood, doing a surprisingly good job of staying professional while drunk, due to all the experience he had.

"Dear nephew, what I am about to show you cannot leave this room," she said sternly. "I've called you both here because of your friendships with Twilight. Do you understand?"

Rarity lit up. "What? Is Twilight in trouble?"

"That depends on one's definition of trouble," Luna said slyly as she played the tape.

The laughter started up again. Rarity laughed the most unlady-like laughs, and it wasn't entirely the alcohol.

"Tell me, Blueblood, does thou not think Twilight Sparkle has a most alluring flank?"

"Luna!" Celestia yelled. "Honestly!"

Rarity actually stopped laughing and glared at the prince. "You best think about how you're going to answer that."

"Oh, relax. I think your flank looks nicer anyway."

"You know... you know, I think I should be hitting you for that, but... but... it's kind of hard to... to do th..." she descended into more laughing, eventually lifting up and kissing Blueblood on the cheek.

Blueblood only grinned.

Author's Note

I apologize for this chapter being so short. I promise the next one will be up quicker. Comment, fav, whatever.

Not a Morning Pony

Applejack woke up the next morning still wrapped in Twilight's forelegs. Now feeling rejuvenated, she untangled herself from her wife as fast as she could without waking her. Standing at the side of the bed, she wondered what to do next. Should she just go home? Go and do her chores? Or should she wait for her to get up?

In the end, she decided to wait, and to cook breakfast again. She went down to the kitchen, only to find Spike already there, cooking up the meal she had intended to make.

"Hey, g'mornin', Spike."

"Oh, hey, Applejack," Spike said with a weak smile. He looked like he hadn’t slept well, which considering what happened last night, wasn’t surprising. "I was just cooking something up. Is there anything you'd like?"

"I'm fine with whatever you're makin', thanks," she said. "You got a paper?"

"It's on the table," Spike said, returning to his work. Applejack took the paper and began reading, resulting in three minutes of silence before Spike finally spoke.

"Did... did the rings make you... you know," he said, a blush forming on his cheeks.

Applejack blushed again. "N-no, no... we didn't..."

"Does that mean I can sleep in the bedroom tonight?" he said, with a surprising level of hope.

"I don't know. You'll hafta ask Twi," she said. "Why are you so anxious? I thought ya'd be happy gettin' your own room..."

"If I wanted my own room, I could have had it years ago," Spike said, cutting the cowpony off so abruptly that she almost went slack-jawed at the vehemence. Spike took a deep breath and continued. "I'm going to live for a long time. A very long time. I'll have hundreds of years to have my own room. I'm only going to get about a hundred of spending time with Twilight. I..."

Suddenly the dragon blushed, realizing what he was saying and feeling like it was the wussiest thing ever. Applejack smiled sympathetically. "I understand, Spike. Twi's your family, and you're afraid of losin' her."

"Yeah," he said, turning back to the meal he was making, clearly not wanting to talk anymore.

"If you ever wanna talk 'bout anythin', Spike, you can talk to me," Applejack said. She got no answer. She lifted the paper and kept reading.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash woke up in a blissful state. They kissed, hugged, ate breakfast, and kissed some more before it was time for Rainbow Dash to get going.

"I'll go get Tank and bring him here for the day," she was saying as she was leaving, "then I've got to get to work. I'll be here around 5 and we can go out to eat. Sound good?"

"Yes, very much," she said. "Um, where do you want to go?"

She shrugged. "Why don't you pick?" She gave her marefriend a kiss on the lips. "I'll be right back."

"Okay. Um, could you stop by the library for me and pick up a book I ordered?"

"No problem. Which one?"

"Just tell Twilight I sent you and she'll know. Now, I think it's time to let Angel out."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, remember: get a backbone. You don't have to put up with all that." She flew off before she could answer.

Fluttershy went to the back and found Angel's cage, hanging from a tree branch. The bunny inside the cage saw Fluttershy coming and made a point to turn his head and pretend not to notice her.

"Are you ready to come out of the cage?" Fluttershy asked.

Angel made no move.

"Oh, okay then. I'll leave you in there if you want."

Widening his eyes, Angel turned to Fluttershy and stretched his arms as far out of the cage as they would go.

"Oh, you do want out. Okay." She let him out, and he jumped and kissed the ground.

"Now, you be a good boy, okay? And come on, I have breakfast waiting."

Fluttershy went inside, but Angel just stood there, thinking. Right then, he made a decision.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash would be broken up by the end of the week. They made a big mistake messing with Angel Bunny. A very big mistake.

Breakfast passed rather uneventfully, and it was time for what Applejack and Twilight had been waiting for. It was time to remove the rings.

"Put your foreleg on the table there," she instructed. Applejack did so, the ring glimmering in the sunlight shining through the window.

"So... whatcha gonna do, Twi?"

"It's just a spell, it shouldn't hurt at all."

"Wait... shouldn't? You not absolutely sure?"

"Applejack, magic is unpredictable and dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. Why, I could crush something just by lifting it."

"...But you've lifted me before..."

"In the heat of a battle. Don't worry, there's only a .000001% chance of it happening from levitation."

"And what's the chance of something like that happening here?"

"It depends on the skill level, but for me... .01%."

"Well, I don't know about..."

Twilight, sensing what was coming, decided to cast the spell rather than wait for her to continue having doubts. Holding her foreleg down, she cast the spell, hitting the band with a bolt of magic.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the metal began to shimmer, as if it were moving. Then, several points in the metal went down, forming into what appeared to be engraved words.

NICE TRY

"Oh come on!" Twilight yelled, casting the spell again.

YOU HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT

"Get off!" Twilight cast again.

NOT HAPPENING

"Come on!" Twilight cast again.

"It ain't workin', Twi," Applejack said at last. "Whoever made these knew what they were doing."

BRILLIANT DEDUCTION, STARSWIRL

"Aw, great, not only didn't you get it off, you gave it an attitude!"

"I've never heard of this happening before," Twilight said in amazement. "But I'll get it off."

I LIKE A CHALLENGE

"Oh shut up," Twilight mumbled.

Spike, who had been watching this whole scene and trying to suppress his giggles, suddenly burped up a scroll with the Royal Insignia on it.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Twilight said. "Maybe the Princess has found something.

Taking the scroll, Spike cleared his throat and began reading.

"My Faithful Student,

I have received your letter and the evidence you presented. I cannot blame you for wanting to investigate this yourself, it is quite the predicament. Before you begin, however, I request an audience with you to discuss a few things. I wish for both you and Applejack to be in Canterlot at sunset today, and we will talk.

Your Most Loving Teacher,

Celestia.

“Sunset, huh?” Applejack said. “Looks like we’ll be stayin’ overnight.”

“Actually,” Twilight shifted. “I was going to ask you to pack the bags for a few days.”

That perked both Applejack and Spike up. “Huh? What’s going on?”

“I’ve completed my list of suspects,” Twilight explained, “but it’s going to be a while. They live across the four corners of Equestria. With a good chariot, we can visit about one a day, but it would still take nearly a week.”

“So I better go pack.”

Twilight nodded. “Spike, could you go make me and Applejack some travel snacks? You don’t have to do any of your other chores today.”

“Sure,” Spike said. Applejack noted there wasn’t the excitement in his voice that Apple Bloom had when she was dismissed from chores for the day.

As he dashed off to the kitchen, Applejack began to follow. “Well, I guess I better...”

She was cut off by Twilight teleporting in front of her. “Not until you and I have a talk.”

The cowpony tensed up. “There ain’t nothin’ ta talk about,” she said, trying to get to the door again, only to be once again blocked by a teleporting Twilight.

“That’s a double negative, which means there is something to talk about. Now tell me.”

“Twi, quit it! Move!”

“Please, tell me? Is it upsetting you that I’m correcting you all the time?”

“No, now move!”

“Not until you talk to me.”

Applejack tried to run behind her friend, only to be flipped up and deposited on her back. “I’m not having another repeat of Applebuck Season. Now tell me what’s wrong, or I’m going to get rough.”

“It ain’t any of your business! Now let me go!” she tried to get up, but magic encased her hooves and forced them back on the ground, pinning her.

“Fine, I’m getting rough,” Twilight said, standing on top of her. “Tell me!”

“Twi, let me go!” Applejack yelled, thrashing against her bonds.

“You want it rough! You want it rough! I’ll... give... you...”

Twilight trailed off because she saw, at that moment, something that Applejack was seeing now, too.

Namely, Rainbow Dash in the window, looking at them with shrunken irises and a slack jaw.

Twilight looked at her pinned wife, then back at Rainbow Dash. As she lifted the magic, she said, in a small voice, “This isn’t what it looks like...”

Rainbow Dash hit the ground laughing as the two mare blushed furiously. “It ain’t like that!” Applejack fumed, while Twilight just stood there, embarrassed.. “It was...”

“I know, I know,” Rainbow Dash said, between breaths. “Believe me, I know what’s going on.”

Both mares blinked. “You do?”

“Oh yeah.” Then her voice got sultry. “You were a bad pony, and Twilight had to...”

Rainbow Dash had to fly up to avoid Applejack’s hoof, which was difficult because she was laughing so hard. Applejack debated jumping up to get her, but decided against it and simply went for the door. “I’m gunna go get packed,” she said, tensely.

“Aw, going on your honeymoon?” Rainbow Dash teased.

“No!” she fumed. “We’re gunna find out who did this to us!” She walked out of the room, leaving a laughing Rainbow Dash and an embarrassed Twilight.

The unicorn turned to the pegasus. “Thanks a lot, Rainbow Dash. I had nearly gotten her to talk!”

“Well, hey, sorry if I blocked...”

“Not like that! I mean, something’s bothering Applejack!”

Suddenly Rainbow Dash got serious. “What do you mean?”

Twilight sighed. “Something’s bothering her... she brought it up at the party, and I’ve been trying to talk to her about it. But with everything that happened...”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Believe me, I’ve known Applejack for years. She always bottles stuff up instead of talking to anypony. It’s a miracle you got through to her during Applebuck Season.”

She sighed. “Well, she’s going to be stuck with me for a few days... I mean, even if we weren’t going on a trip, we’d have to-” She cut herself off when she realized what she was about to confess.

“Have to what?”

“...The rings,” she admitted. “They make us... sleep... in the same bed.”

Silence.

The laughter. A lot of it. While Twilight stood there embarrassed.

Rarity moaned from under the covers as memories of last night started to come back to her.

Then she froze.

Please no, please no, please no...

She opened her eyes.

“Morning again,” Blueblood said.

“Sweet Celestia!” Rarity was out of bed in an instant. “How could you let this happen again?”

"Why am I getting all the blame here? You're the one who decided to get drunk again, even though you knew what happened the last time."

"Well..." she trailed off. "I suppose I was expecting you to actually be a gentlecolt this time! I guess I was wrong."

“Don't be so hard on yourself. I was as drunk as you were last night,” he explained getting up. “But relax, I’m sure we didn’t do anything. There isn’t enough alcohol in the world to make me bed an unconscious mare.”

“I... I can’t believe this!” she screeched. “How can you be so calm about this?”

“Because getting all loopy about something in the past solves nothing,” he muttered, levitating a robe onto himself. “Just relax. We didn’t do anything, so there nothing to worry about. We’ll drop...” He looked like he was about to vomit. “We’ll drop...” again. “...We’ll drop... alcohol,” he gave a big heave of relief as if he just had to do something particularly strenuous. “And this won’t happen again. Nothing to worry about, right?”

“I suppose...” Rarity sighed.

"There you go. Now, onto business. Are those dresses coming along fine?"

"Yes. I already had some ideas, they're drawn out. I think I can get the bases for all of them finished today."

“That’s my girl,” Blueblood said, giving a playful smack to the flank.

Rarity responded with a very not-playful hoof to the face, sending him to the floor.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."

"Rainbow..."

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."

"Rainbow..."

"Hahaha..."

"Rainbow!"

"Wh-what?" the pegasus managed to choke out.

"Is there any reason you're here other than to torment me?"

"Y-yeah... Fluttershy needs a book she ordered."

Mumbling, Twilight levitated the tome in question, one on rabbit anatomy, and thrusted it into her friend's stomach, causing her to "oof" a bit. "There. Now, if you're done tormenting me, why don't you see if you can get anything out of Applejack?"

That actually got Rainbow Dash to be quiet. "Me?"

"Yes, you. You're her best friend..."

"I don't know, I think you're her best friend. Not because you married her," she added quickly, noticing the unicorn's glare.

"Then... why?"

"Well," she rubbed the back of her head. "You two are pretty close... you seem to trust her more than us..."

"That's not true! I love all of you equally! You're all my friends, I..."

"Twilight, please don't flip out," Rainbow Dash said again. "Listen, it's okay. I love everypony in our group too... but I obviously love Fluttershy more. I can hang out with Applejack and Pinkie easier than I can hang out with Rarity. We just click better with others. It's fine."

"Well..." she took a few more deep breaths, remembering Cadance's calming techniques. "What makes you think I'm Applejack's best friend? We don't have a lot in common."

Rainbow Dash lifted an eyebrow. "Are you kidding? You two are both total buzzkills."

Twilight looked offended. "We are not!"

"Oh please. You're all always, 'we need to get back on track’, ‘stop bickering and fighting’, ‘Rainbow Dash, put me down and stop flying so fast'." Her voice took on a mocking, high-pitched tone. "It's annoying."

"I don't sound anything like that," Twilight said indignantly.

"Whatever, but you two are always hanging around each other. You always give her the big assignments whenever the Princess has us to do something important."

"Well, I can count on her... no offense, Rainbow Dash, but the rest of you can be... irresponsible."

"I understand. But that's my point. You and Applejack click. You talk to each other and spend more time together than with anypony else..."

Twilight stopped and thought. It was true, she realized. All this time, she had been gravitating toward Applejack and not even realizing it.

"...Do you think you could talk to her, anyway? See if you can find out what's wrong?"

"Sure, I'll hit her up when I'm on break," she promised.

"We're leaving for Canterlot this afternoon, so try and get back here quick."

"In Canterlot? Are you going to see the Princess about all this? Man, I wish I could be a fly on the wall during that."

"Gee, thanks," Twilight said dryly. "Could you try to get something out of her before we leave? I'm really worried about her."

"Alright, I'll see if I can figure anything out. Are you sure this is a thing, and you're not just overreacting?"

"I'm sure. Applejack's hiding something, and I'm going to find out what."

Rarity sat in one chair, huffing. Blueblood sat in the other, a hoofkerchief covered in blood at his muzzle. Celestia sat behind her desk, looking at both angrily.

"Could you both act like full-grown ponies?" she said sternly. "Blueblood, I know I can't stop you from bedding mares the way you do, and honestly I wish you'd show more class, but I want you to at least act like a gentlecolt around ponies who've made it clear they have no interest in you."

"Yes, Auntie," Blueblood said, actually sounding apologetic and ashamed.

"And Rarity," she said, equally as sternly. "I understand your anger, but considering that it was attacking him that got you in this mess, I would have hoped you could keep it in check. You're a public figure, I count on you to maintain a positive image. I do my best to keep the ponyrazzi out of Ponyville, I make it easy for you not to be involved in scandals, but you need to put forth the effort. Understand?"

"...Yes," she sighed.

"Good. The both of you are forbidden from any more alcohol consumption until the mission is over, understand?"

"Yes," they both replied in monotone.

"Good. Now then, I trust the mission is going well?"

In response, Blueblood removed the bloody hoofkerchief from his muzzle and stood. "The tabloids think we’re dating from what I can tell,” he muttered. “I’m not sure how the Elite are going to respond to this, given her behavior at the Gala.”

“My behavior?” Rarity protested, only to be shushed by a glare from Celestia that said she didn’t particularly care about that semantic. “Yes, well, the dresses are coming along nicely.”

“Then today you’ll attend your first class on how to spot a changeling imposter,” Celestia continued. “Remember, no more alcohol. This is important. And one final thing.”

“Yes?” they both asked in unison.

“I want no contact with Twilight when she’s in town tonight.”

That got a surprised look out of them. She went on. “I’ve hurt Twilight enough by not being able to stop the changelings. If she finds out about this, she’ll want to try and help out. I don’t wish to give her that burden, especially with her current... predicament.”

All three snickered, but regained their composure.

“This is not Twilight’s burden. Let her be, understand?”

They both nodded.

Packing Up

As it turned out, the Apples were only slightly concerned at Applejack being missing. There was likely nothing that could have snuck Applejack out of the farmhouse without them knowing, and figured she had left on her own. After some stifled giggles (and not-so-stifled, in Apple Bloom's case), Applejack told them of Twilight's intentions. They all nodded, figuring it was for the best for her. It was after the harvest, and the trees didn't need the constant care anymore.

Still, there were chores to do, and Applejack found herself outside mending a fence. Every once in awhile she would pause to look at her wedding band.

"Why won't ya come off?" she muttered to herself.

BECAUSE I WUV YOU, AJ!

"Aw, fer cryin' out loud! Did Twilight's spell do this, or have you always had a smart mouth?"

I DON'T HAVE A MOUTH AT ALL.

"You... why won't you come off?"

BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ME OFF.

That caused Applejack to just stare at the metallic band, wondering if she was reading the words right. The words disappeared, and new writing emerged.

YOU WANT THIS. DON'T DENY IT.

Applejack opened her mouth to protest, but stopped. This was ridiculous. She was arguing with a hunk of metal. It wasn't real.

WHATEVER HELPS YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT.

Applejack quickly slammed her hoof onto the ground and returned to her work, trying not to imagine what the metal band was thinking, if it could think at all.

As she mended the fence, wondering what to do next, a shadow loomed over her for a split second. Without looking up, Applejack knew who it was.

"Hey Dash," she muttered, not taking her eyes of her work.

"Hey, lover girl," she teased, but only half-heartedly. "What'cha doing?"

"Some last-minute chores 'fore I leave," she said, keeping her tone as flat as she could.

"Figures." Then Rainbow Dash went into a tone that Applejack recognized all too well, one that said she was trying to be serious. "Listen, Twilight wanted me to talk to you..."

"There ain't nothin' ta talk about!" she said, too quickly.

"Yes, there is. I know that look, AJ. It's the ‘I'm about to be a stubborn idiot' look. Now spill. What's wrong?"

"No..." she began, but stopped. She knew it was an exercise in futility. If Rainbow Dash felt there was something you shouldn't be hiding, she would make life hard until it was spilt, at least to her. It had led to some of the shakiest parts of their friendship, though in the end getting whatever problem she had out in the open usually did more good than harm, and Rainbow Dash always kept secrets when they were needed.

"... I... I'm in love."

There was silence.

"That's it?" Rainbow Dash declared, annoyed. "That's what all this drama's about? So when you get the marriage cancelled, just go talk to her."

"I'm in love with Twilight."

Rainbow Dash gaped. For a half a minute, she just stared at her old friend.

"Uh... wow. So... is she straight?"

"What?"

"I mean, is that why you're depressed? She only likes stallions?"

"What? No, she's a bi, but..."

"Is she in love with somepony else?"

"No..."

"So, what's the problem?"

Now Applejack was gaping. "What?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged, and Applejack's eyes widened to see she was genuinely surprised. "Well, you two are married already. Just tell her how you feel, and you'll get a hot wife without all the dating stuff."

"It ain't that simple..."

"What? You think she wouldn't like you? She married you... drunk, yes, but she still did."

"It ain't about whether she'd wanna date me," she sighed. "I know she might be willin' to give it a shot, but... it wouldn't work out."

"AJ, that's what dating's for." Rainbow Dash spoke slowly and carefully, as if speaking to a young foal. "To see if a relationship between ponies can work out..."

"Dash, think. I know you ain't known fer usin' your head, but think!" Applejack snapped, so hard that Rainbow Dash actually jumped at the anger in her friend's voice. Seeing the shock, the cowpony softened. "Celestia's been trainin' Twi fer years now. She's got big plans fer that filly. Whatever they are... I can't ask her ta give that up just to come live with me on some dusty old farm."

By the time Applejack's argument was half over, Rainbow Dash had a rebuttal in mind, but she forgot it when she heard the last sentence, purely out of shock. "Dusty..." she stammered. "...Applejack, what happened to you? I've never heard you talk about Sweet Apple Acres like that?"

Applejack bit her lip, and it was clear to the pegasus that something was said that was not meant to be said. "Well... I dunno. I guess..."

Showing rare patience, Rainbow Dash folded her forelegs and waited.

"I guess bein' around everythin' in Canterlot made me feel... I dunno. You know when I was at th' reception, a few stallions asked me to dance?"

"And they got mad when you told them you weren't into that?"

"Nah... I didn't even get that far. Th' moment they heard mah accent they started laughin'..."

"What?" the pegasus demanded. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have popped them good..."

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you. We already had enough problems, and I didn't want to shame Twi again after..."

She trailed off. Even after all this time, the wedding was a sore spot for them.

“Even th’ Changeling... back when we thought she was Cadance... she took one look at me an’ started laughin’.”

“So? She’s a jerk?”

“I know, I know, I just...” She sighs. “Half th’ time I can’t even understand what that girl is sayin’. Whenever she starts talkin’ ‘bout magic and science. But I love it when she does. Her eyes light up, her smile splits her face... it’s so cute...”

“AJ, drop the sappy stuff and get to the point.”

“Huh? Oh yeah. Well, it’s just... whenever she does that, I like it, but... it just reminds me how outta mah league she is...”

“Oh, that’s ridiculous,” Rainbow Dash said, sounding annoyed. “I hate seeing you like this. You used to not care what those snobs think, and it’s not like Twilight’s like that anyhow. Who’s to say she wouldn’t give all that up for you?”

“I can’t ask her to.”

“Why?”

“Why? It... just... I can’t! I just can’t!”

“Why? What would she be missing? Even when she lived in Canterlot, she hated big fancy parties, lived in the library, and didn’t get involved in politics. What would you possibly be taking from her?”

“Well... look, Celestia has plans for her, an’ you know it. It has to be important. It ain’t right to make her stay behind with me when other ponies may need her.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, but stayed silent for a moment, but only a moment. “Why do you like her?”

Applejack blinked. “Huh?”

“You’re not shallow enough to just like her ‘cause she’s hot, though she is... not as good-looking as Fluttershy, but not too shabby.” This, with a mischevious grin, she added, “She has a flank you’d want to wake up next to.”

Applejack went red, from both anger and embarrassment. Rainbow Dash held in her laugh, then continued. “So why do you like her?”

“‘Cause she’s so... wonderful,” she sighed, a lovesick smile splitting her face. “When she led us to th’ Elements, I knew I wanted her as a friend. When she called me out fer bein’ stubborn that one Applebuck season, I knew I wanted her as family. She’s always runnin’ ‘round, trying to learn more, to be th’ best. She wants everypony to be happy. I...” She gulped. “I don’t wanna lose her.”

There was silence.

“So what’s stopping you? If you don’t want to keep her here, follow her to Canterlot.”

“Don’t ‘cha think I thought of that? Th’ Elite would eat me alive.”

“Please,” Rainbow Dash waved her off. “The Elite are small potatoes compared to Twilight and you know it. They couldn’t do anything but snark at you, and I doubt they’d even do that to your face.”

“There’d also be no farmin’, no dancin’, no nothin’. I’d be goin’ to those dumb parties forever!”

“So, you don’t think Twilight’s worth all that?”

She looked at Rainbow Dash, sputtering at the statement. “Wha? Buh... it ain’t like that!”

“Then what’s it like?”

Applejack opened her mouth to protest, but found nothing to say for a moment. “You don’t have to put it like that...”

“How else would I put it?”

Silence. “I...I dunno...”

The tremble in her voice kept Rainbow Dash from pressing the matter any further. “Look, I won’t tell Twilight what you told me. But think about it. Twilight’s a catch. I don’t want you regretting this.”

And she took off. Applejack watched her go. Then she sighed, and looked at the ring again.

I KNEW YOU DID

MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP FIGHTING IT

She returned to her work, but her brain was now buzzing with thoughts.

Pinkie always wondered why so many of her friends skipped the entertainment section of the newspaper. Rarity kept up with gossip, and Rainbow Dash had to know if Spitfire and Soarin were dating, but Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy all considered such things frivolous, even more so since Gabby Gums.

Sighing, she opened the front of the section, reading an article on Fancypants caught cheating on Fleur with another mare. Pinkie laughed. Similar articles had sprung up after he was seen dancing with Rarity at the Wedding, and his reaction was to laugh, and tell his wife that he was now six scandals ahead of her, with the lovely unicorn vowing to catch up.

The next was an article accusing Spitfire of getting tail extensions, which Rainbow Dash would laugh at, saying that would only hinder her performance. The next article was announcing that Hoity Toity was the current celebrity they were accusing of being gay.

She flipped the page, and almost immediately a picture caught her eye.

Rarity, slightly tipsy, with Prince Blueblood, smiling happily.

She gaped. She read the article.

Then she ran out the door in a panic.

Twilight just sighed as Rainbow Dash flew away, having reported hearing nothing. She shook her head and went back inside to finish packing, only to find Spike dusting the library.

“What are you doing? I told you you could take a break for chores.”

He shrugged. “Well, it’s just going to be harder to clean if I put it off...”

Twilight sighed. “Spike... I’m worried about you. I think you need to be spending more time outside.”

“I’m fine, really...”

“No. Remember the last time I let you off for a few days? You ended up at Sweet Apple Acres working for Applejack. You need to start spending more time away from work.”

“Well, there’s really nothing I want to do...”

“And that’s a problem,” she said pulling the broom away from him. Spike jumped in panic and tried to stop it, but Twilight lightly pressed a hoof on his chest, stopping him. "Spike, I'm glad you have such a good work ethic, but it's not right that you have to work so much."

"But..." he started to protest again, but stopped. Not because of words this time, but because of her expression. It was one of deep thought, when he was thinking of something important.

"I think leaving you at the library is a mistake," she said. "I think maybe spending some time with the Apples would be better for you."

Spike just shrugged. "I'm not very good at farm work, but..."

"No," she said firmly. “I'm forbidding you from working, and I'm going to make sure Big Mac and Granny Smith don't let you. You are going to spend time with Apple Bloom and her friends."

Spike's eyes widened, his irises shrinking to the size of pencil points. "Wha? Twilight, I... I don't think I'll survive! You see those three, it's a miracle Ponyville's still in one piece!"

"Oh, they're not that bad," Twilight waved her hoof. "They helped you take care of our pets, didn't they?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, 'help'," he said bitterly.

She kissed his cheek. "I was hoping you'd play with more ponies your age when we moved here. Please? For me?"

Spike felt his heart lurch. Twilight always had a way of getting him to behave, even when his seemingly limitless loyalty was exhausted, and he knew now was one of those times. He owed Twilight a great deal, and while Twilight tried to tell him he should not feel like he had to pay back things given out of love, she was not above using that sense to lightly guilt him into doing what she thought was best.

"Oh alright," he sighed.

"Thanks Spike," she said, kissing his forehead. He gave the standard "ew," but no matter how many times he declared that, Twilight knew he enjoyed such signs of affection. "I'll go arrange things with the Apple family. Pack up, and I better not see any cleaning supplies."

He mumbled, but went upstairs to pack.

Rarity wrote her notes with a groan. She had been completely self-taught since her primary education, and she squirmed in her seat, unable to concentrate as well as her classmate.

She was surprised that Blueblood was taking the class with her. When she pressed about it, he simply said that it never hurt to have a refresher, and this was one mission he wanted to err on the side of caution.

Despite her difficulty, she still listened to their instructor note the small tells a changeling had, green magic, aversion to eating, and a desire to subtly control ponies.

Every word sent a dagger through Rarity's heart. They were all signs she should have seen before the wedding.

After an hour, the class ended, and Rarity could not have been out of the classroom fast enough. She was even willing to enter Blueblood's office for their mid-morning meeting.

"We made the gossip columns," Blueblood said, showing the paper.

Rarity suppressed a groan. She could only imagine her homecoming. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash would see, and they'd tell everypony. The entire town would be talking about it, and her shop would be overrun with gossiping mares demanding to know how it went.

Then she brightened. Gossiping mares who would likely pay...

"You know, I suppose this really isn't that bad," she mused happily. "Even if I'm going to be associated with you..."

"Oh, that hurts," he said, though he did not sound offended.

"One thing, though: while Twilight never was one for gossip, she'll likely hear the story from Pinkie before too long. How are we to avoid her when she comes to Canterlot? She'll want to know what's going on..."

"I've arranged for our date tonight to coincide with their arrival."

"And you honestly think that will stop her? Whenever she thinks something is wrong, she doesn't stop until it's solved. And she knows I don't like you..."

"Auntie will assure her nothing's wrong," Blueblood dismissed with a wave of his hoof, and that settled that. The only thing that could ever assure Twilight for sure was Celestia, and they knew it. The Princess was almost like a mother to her.

Rarity blinked. "Have you ever met Twilight's parents?"

Blueblood was confused. The question seemed to come out of nowhere. "No. I never saw them growing up, and I was on a diplomatic visit when Cadance married her brother. Why?"

"It's just... Twilight's been living in Ponyville for two years, and they've never come to visit. And I hardly saw them at the wedding."

"Well... honestly, they did visit quite a bit... at least at first. I never met them in person, but they visited her once a week," he said. "Twilight visited them, mostly on holidays... Hearth's Warming, Mother and Father's Day, things like that, but... As time went on, they visited less. Oh, they got together often enough, just not as much as they used to"

"Well, maybe they were busy... or maybe Twilight just grew apart from them."

"I thought so too," Blueblood said, a hint of uncertainty in his voice. "She wasn't as dependent on her parents. Her brother visited all the time. Once a week, when he could spare it. It was only after he started getting sent overseas that he stopped visiting..."

There was an awkward silence. "Well... what do you think of her parents not visiting Ponyville?"

"Twilight's mom is a writer, and her father a professor... they were probably busy. I don't think it's anypony's business anyway," he said simply. "Twilight's an upright mare, so it doesn't seem to be a problem."

"I suppose," Rarity sighed, though her natural gossip wanted to take over.

"You should be concentrating on the mission. Go on, start the dresses. And..." he paused, then sighed. "I suppose I'll tell the chefs to make you a better lunch than yesterday."

Big Mac hammered a loose board in the barn's side. Nodding at his work, he turned and began walking the length. Just as he came to a rain barrel, Pinkie popped out. "Hey, Big Mac!"

"Ah!" the normally stoic stallion yelped, ducking. "M-Miss Pinkie?"

"Look at this!" she chirped, showing the gossip section of the paper.

"Miss Rarity?" he said, genuinely surprised. "She's dating a prince?"

"Do you know what this means?" she said, lowering the paper and staring him in the eyes.

"N-no..."

"We have to pair the spares!"

“...Wha?”

“I’m the last member of the Mane Six without a coltfriend!”

“The what?”

“The Mane Six! Me, AJ, Dashie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight! And since Apple Bloom is in love with Spike…”

“Wait, what?” Big Mac said, his big brother instinct taking over. “She is?”

“Well, probably. I think they’d be cute together. But that’s not important. What matters is that we have to date now!”

Big Mac felt his brain crack in two. “Wha?”

“If we date, there'll be no romantic loose ends! We have to do it!”

“Miss Pinkie, I don’t think...”

“Please!”

“Miss Pinkie...”

“Wait, wait...” she thought. “Of course! It’s too early!”

“Huh?”

“We need to wait until Applejack and Twilight are together! Then we start dating!”

“... Miss Pinkie, have you been spending time with Berry Punch lately?”

“Ooh, she might have some good wine for our first date! I’ll go check!”

Without another word, Pinkie bounced off, leaving a confused Big Mac behind.

Departure

The rest of the afternoon had been a torrent of activity for both Twilight and Applejack. Spike as well, since he not only had to try and pack his own bag, but he had to perform his usual duty of making sure Twilight didn't overpack in one of her frenzied attempts to be prepared for anything.

Owlowiscious flew to Fluttershy's on his own accord, offering Pee Wee a lift. Applejack had dropped Winona off herself sometime earlier, ensuing all pets would be cared for during the week away.

Twilight arrived at the farmhouse late afternoon, finding the Royal Chariot she had requested. Spike was behind her, muttering about the current arrangements.

“I still don’t get why I have to do this,” Spike said, in a tone that took great care in being as whiny as possible. “ I mean, it’s not like I’d burn down the library or anything.”

“I know, Spike, and honestly I think I’d be less worried about you if that was my biggest concern about leaving you alone. At least most kids would have partying as an excuse for that.”

“Wha?”

Twilight spun around and looked her young charge right in the eyes with the softest and most comforting expression she could manage, which after a decade of practice was a very effective one, one which always disarmed Spike’s defenses. “Spike, I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past year, ever since… that birthday.”

Spike winced. As little as Twilight liked remembering that day, Spike liked remembering it even less.

“I’ve been thinking about your future, Spike, and at first, it was just how you’re going to grow up. But then I realized something, and it disturbed me much more.”

“What’s that?”

“That you spend a lot of your time working, so much that I don’t know you.”

“What are you talking about? Of course you know me, you know me better than anypony.”

“I know you love food, and Pee Wee, and me,” she said. “And I know you love working for me. But I’ve never seen you just have fun. You read a few books sometimes, but I’ve never seen you go out and play with any of the other kids. You’ve never had a hobby, or ever spent a day just having fun. The only time you did, you ended up as Applejack’s servant. You don’t know how to act like a foal.”

“I’m not a foal,” he said, looking away from her.

“You’re as good as,” she said, reaching out and stroking his head. She brought her hoof under him chin and made him look in her eyes. “At least to me you are. and I’m worried that you don’t know anything besides being my assistant. I want you to learn to be your own dragon. I don’t want you to be hanging off me forever…”

“Why? Am… am I doing something wrong?”

“Of course not, you’re a wonderful assistant, but I want you to be more than that. I want you to be happy, Spike, and I don’t want that to end when I’m…”

“Please don’t say it, please…”

“It’s going to happen, and I want you to carry on in spite of it. That’s why I want you to have your own life, to discover yourself. You’re a wonderful dragon, Spike, and I think it’s time you realize that. That’s why the Apples aren’t going to be giving you any chores. Your job is to play with Apple Bloom and her friends. By the time I get back, I want you to have a hobby, or some kind of activity that you can do for part of the day.”

“But what about being your assistant?”

“I’ll just have to get along without you sometimes. In fact, you’re forbidden from working so hard from now on. I want you to be able to have fun from now on.”

“But Twilight…”

“Listen Spike, you trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do!”

“And trust me when I say that I’m doing this because it’s best for you.”

Spike looked at her for a long time. Then, he took a deep breath, exhaled, and said, “Alright, I won’t do any chores, I promise.”

Twilight kissed him goodbye, causing him to make a big deal out of it, but as soon as he was sure the Apples weren't looking, he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Spike watched the chariot take off with Twilight and Applejack inside it. He had wanted to watch it until it had reached the castle visible on the mountain, but he found himself being pushed along by Apple Bloom long before that happened. “C’mon, Spike, we gotta git!”

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Granny Smith an’ Big Mac said that you ain’t supposed ta work, which means you get ta play. An’ that means you can help us with our new crusade.”

“Oh no!” he said, trying to run, but Apple Bloom clenched his tail in her teeth and pulled him on. “C’mon, we’re gunna be Cutie Mark Crusader Skateboarders today.”

Spike slowed down. “That doesn’t sound so bad...”

“Yeah! AJ says we’re not allowed in Ghastly Gorge, but Scoots reckons we can build some ramps that’d be just as good, an’ one o’ us can stand at the top and throw rocks down...”

Unfortunately, Spike didn’t escape her grasp.

Angel was fuming. Rainbow Dash had returned, and she was wearing a black dress she had commissioned from Rarity in a rush job. Ponies looked pretty disgusting to him, but Fluttershy blushed and had difficulty breathing. Grinning lecherously, Rainbow Dash took her hoof and kissed it, moving up her leg and ending at her cheek, then capturing her lips and sticking her tongue in.

Angel retched. He needed to stop this quick.

It was hard enough to get privacy in the cottage with the usual animals around, but when Fluttershy was petsitting it became near impossible. Owlowiscious in particular kept too close a watch on him, and adding in Winona's idiocy made his head hurt just thinking about it. But he finally found a place to plan in a small corner that even the mice didn't bother with.

Paper, nicked from Twilight's library, was spread around, his messy writing dotting them. He needed a plan, but nothing came to him. He couldn't ask the other animals, they all hated him as much as Fluttershy allowed hatred, which wasn't much but they still refused to help him.

Angel jumped three hooves before spinning around, seeing Winona wagging her tail and smiling, her tongue hanging out.

he said,

she asked without the slightest bit of sarcasm.

Angel placed his head in his paw.

Angel pulled his ears.

The new voice belonged to Owlowiscious, who perched right beside Angel and glared down at him. It didn't take much for an owl to look intimidating to a bunny.

He glared down at him.

Angel began, but Owlowiscious's glare silenced him.

Winona said, as if it was a great surprise.

Wynonna perked up, looking at Angel's empty paw, which was waving air.

Owlowiscious sighed.

Wynonna said, She turned her anxious smile into a glare.

Angel said, slumping his shoulders in shame.

That was all Owlowiscious had time to get out before Winona turned her anger on him.

<BAAAALLLL!>

Owlowiscious flew up and away, with Winona on his talons, yelling for the ball he didn't have.

Angel muttered. Still, the two of them and Tank could be trouble in the next few days. He had to be careful.

The flight was not a long one, so they did not have much of a chance to talk. They found themselves walking down the hallway toward the Princess’s quarters, almost not daring to speak.

Twilight felt her stomach flutter. Celestia had shown no anger in her letter, or even disapproval, but now that she was so close to her beloved mentor... she was scared. Scared of a lecture, scared of a disappointed look...

Deep breaths. She couldn’t lose it now.

Unfortunately, the downside of such a trick was that those around you knew when you were pulling it. Applejack noticed it, having become used to it since the little misadventure with the Equestria Games commissioner, and nuzzled her a bit on the side. "I'm sure th' Princess ain't mad, or disappointed."

"How do you know? I did something stupid! Oh, what if..."

"Relax," Applejack said, trying to mix firmness with a soothing tone, which thankfully she had experience with. "She's never been real mad at ya. 'Cept..." she looked like she had been stabbed in the heart. "...'Cept when she shouldn't 'ave been."

"Applejack..."

The doors they were passing swung open, interrupting the conversation with a loud bang. "Twilight Sparkle! Fair Applejack!"

Both ponies jumped. It was Princess Luna, not using her Royal Canterlot Voice but still sounding commanding, as she usually did. "I wish conference with you. Please enter my chambers ."

Twilight was frozen for a moment, debating whether these instructions overrode her teacher’s. Finally figuring there was no rush, she obeyed, and Applejack wasn't too far behind.

As the door slammed shut, Luna spoke. "I need your knowledge, Twilight. Please, will you answer my queries?"

"Of course," Twilight said, snapping to attention, her confidence replacing her worry. "Ask me anything. I will..."

She trailed off because she noticed the grin on Luna's face, which was so wide that it was splitting her face. She leaned down until she was eye level and said, in a sweet voice, "How well does the cowpony ride?"

Both Twilight and Applejack turned red as Luna fell onto her back, laughing hard all over again.

"H... how many ponies saw th' tape?" Applejack said with a hint of dread.

"Oh just..." Luna had to stop to let the last of her laughter drop off, "just me and my sister... and Blueblood."

"You showed Blueblood?" Twilight said. "He'll never let me live this down... but then again, nopony will."

"If you'll excuse us, Princess," Applejack said, moving toward the door.

"Hold up," Luna said. "I need one more thing. Twilight Sparkle, could you turn around please?"

Puzzled, Twilight obeyed.

Applejack looked at the scene, trying to piece it out... and then gave a start. Because she noticed the lusting stare.

Oh sweet Celestia...

"Thank you, Twilight," she said, a mischievous smile still on her face. "You can go now."

Still confused, Twilight left. Applejack followed, looking at the floor.

"Well, that was humiliating..." Twilight said, "and I don't know what Luna was doing. Did you notice anything, Applejack? ...Applejack?"

Oh sweet Celestia. Luna likes her? Sweet, sweet Celestia... how can I compete with that?

"Applejack?"

"Huh? Wha?" She looked at her wife. "Sorry Twi... distracted."

"I don't blame you," Twilight said. "Well, here we are."

Princess Celestia's chambers were being watched by two guards, one showing age and one who looked to be a new recruit.

"Good evening, Colonel Butterscotch."

The old timer grinned. He had been a guard since Twilight had been a young student, one who would have free access to her teacher quarters at all hours, even in the middle of the night when she had had a nightmare and needed her closest available parental figure to give her a wing to sleep under. He had a sneaking suspicion Celestia looked more fondly upon those unannounced slumber parties than Twilight did, having heard the filly giggle as she blew raspberries on her stomach, and Celestia's soft crooning lullabies.

"Hello Twilight." The old unicorn did the customary Changeling Check, an intrusive element in the old routine. Once her identity was confirmed, he began opening the chamber door.

"Whoa, whoa," the younger guard said. "We're just letting them in?"

"Rule number one, rookie, you never, ever, deny Twilight Sparkle access anywhere after you assure that it's her. All that accomplishes is getting the Princess angry, plus whatever Twilight did to you to make you move."

The door was opened now. "Thanks," Twilight said.

"Thank ya," Applejack nodded. She followed, and stopped suddenly when a strange tingling entered her mouth. It tasted... sweet. It was butterscotch.

Twilight turned to the older guard. "Still not missing a beat, are you?"

The old timer shrugged. "It just doesn't feel right unless I sneak you a sweet before dinner."

Twilight was giggling as she continued, and Applejack merely chewed her surprise gift. Entering the Princess chambers, she looked around, and was a bit surprised that she wasn't surprised. Celestia's room was one of simple elegance. It looked better than any part of her farmhouse, but it still looked like a room she'd be right at home in. The most fancy item was a large side room in view that contained bookcases of Celestia's private collection of books, and Applejack had a feeling it was only that big from a millennium of collecting.

"Princess," Twilight said.

Applejack perked up and turned to see Twilight running to nuzzle her mentor. And it replaced the book room as the most amazing thing Applejack saw.

Not because Twilight was being so informal. That surprise had come that first adventure, when their bows were contrasted with Twilight running up and nuzzling her. It was the fact that Celestia wasn't wearing her regalia.

She had only seen this once, after the infamous wedding when they all had to go apologize. The bridesmaids, Spike, and Celestia herself all marching to Twilight's chambers to beg forgiveness. But a retainer had joined them, to everypony's confusion except Celestia. Once outside Twilight's room, Celestia ordered a stop. Then she removed her crown and her other trappings and passed them along. Her servant had been scandalized, saying it wouldn't do to be seen like this. She merely barked that he best make sure they're not interrupted then.

They had all understood once the apologies began. When she was wearing that crown, she was a Princess. Without it, she was merely Celestia, a friend. That's what she wanted to be that evening. That night, she had been almost on her knees in tears, crying, while Twilight, feeling more embarrassed than anything, begged her to not feel guilty.

Here, however, she was relaxed and calm. Even with her size and her flowing mane, she seemed so approachable.

"It's good to see you, Twilight, and you too, Applejack." She motioned to two cushions in front of her, and both took their seats.

For a long time, the three just looked at each other. Finally, taking a deep breath, Celestia spoke. "Twilight... do you like bananas?"

"...What?"

"The royal kitchen got a surplus shipment," she explained, floating a bunch over, "and we're trying to use them all before they spoil."

"Oh. Sure," she said, taking a banana off the bunch.

"Applejack? I know you're an apple mare, but..."

"I ain't that obsessed with apples," she muttered, taking one after setting her hat off to the side.

"Good. Now then, I suppose we have a lot to talk about." She smiled. "I'm not upset with you, Twilight."

"You aren't?"

She shook her head. "Honestly, I'm a little relieved that you did this." That caused Twilight's eyes to practically pop out of her head, and Celestia suppressed a giggle. The last thing Twilight needed in this conversation was to think she was laughing at her.

"Yes. You see, in all those years you grew up under me, I never saw you ever have a night like this. I used to stay up late at night, worrying about the wild times that would happen once you hit you teenage years, and when they never happened, it actually worried me more."

"I don't understand..."

"It was the beginning of my realization that you were rejecting friendship. All you were for the longest time was my student. You never moved out from serving me to serve yourself, to find out more about yourself."

"That's..." Twilight began, but she stopped, her eyes widening at realization. Applejack laughed, having realized the same thing.

"That's just what she was lecturin' Spike on just fore we left," she grinned.

Celestia seemed interested. "Really? I suppose I should have kept a closer eye on him."

"No..." Twilight moaned, and it was enough to get Applejack to stop laughing. "It's my fault Spike's like that..."

"Twi... I think Spike's problems are too different from yours..."

"He looks up to me. He probably learned from me. Oh, Spike..."

"Mothers make mistakes," Celestia sighed. Applejack saw the gaze she was giving Twilight, and knew she was talking about herself. "Nopony has raised their child perfectly."

Twilight blushed. "I'm not a mother..."

"If you insist," Celestia said. "That's a topic for another day. Right now, let's return to the topic at hoof. And that's you."

She looked at her mentor. "You're actually glad I got drunk and nearly caused a scandal?"

"In a way. Believe me, you wouldn't be the first. I remember a hundred and fifty years after me and Luna took the throne. Oh that was a wild night... though that griffin was pretty cute."

Twilight looked at her and debated asking for details, but decided against it.

"I'm not encouraging wild nights like this," Celestia said. "Please don't think that. I want you to keep your hoof down. But for the most part, I'm glad you're finally getting out there. You merely made a mistake, you don't need to worry."

Twilight looked like she had been given a gift. Celestia reached over and nuzzled her.

"Thank you, Princess."

"You're welcome. Now then, I assume you'll want to go on your search as soon as possible?"

"Of course."

"And I won't stop you... for the most part. There is one thing I want you to promise me." She turned to Applejack. "Both of you."

"And what's that?" Applejack asked.

"If you suspect that the Changeling Queen is behind this, I want you not to make a move without first consulting me, Luna, or Blueblood."

Applejack blinked. "Blueblood?"

"Yes, he's the one we placed in charge of finding them."

"Wha? That jerk?"

"What are you talking about?" Twilight said. "Blueblood's a bit shallow, but..."

"Are you kiddin'? He insulted me at th' Gala, and he harassed Rare!"

"Really?" Twilight sounded confused, of course, but also a bit disturbed. "I think I'm going to need to have a talk with him before we leave."

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," Celestia said. "He's in a business meeting, and he cannot be disturbed."

"So finally, Rainbow Dash yelled, 'Okay! I get it! I won't leave you anywhere anymore! Now please, please let me take this off!'"

Blueblood laughed as loudly as he dared in this restaurant. "I must say, your friends sound... interesting. Perhaps I should visit Ponyville sometime..."

"Indeed," Rarity grinned, gulping down her drink. "This is delicious! I must say... it's making me dizzy."

"Yes..." Blueblood said. He stopped. He motioned for the waiter. "You've been bringing me nonalcoholic drinks, right?"

"...I've been bringing you your non-alcoholic drinks."

"...Please tell me you're joking."

"No. Everytime you say 'non-alcoholic', you don't want anypony to know you're drinking, so..."

"Have my drinks been... his non-alcoholic as well?"

"Yes. You said you wanted what he's having, so..."

"...We've been drinking these awfully fast, haven't- wait, wait... there it goes..."

"I truly don't want you entangled with them anyway. You've suffered enough to keep Equestria safe from this threat. You leave it to them."

"Princess..."

"It's not that I don't think you couldn't," she said, "but I don't think you should have to. You have your own concerns." She was looking at the rings.

"...Yes, Princess," she sighed.

"Now then, I assume you have a plan for your search?"

Applejack blinked as she realized she didn't know Twilight's plan either. "Hey, yeah. What're we goin' ta do, Twi?"

"We'll make a few visits," Twilight said. "We'll be going to Manehattan first. Trixie has a stage show there, and she's our first suspect. Next, the Griffin Embassy in Cloudsdale, where Gilda is staying."

"An embassy?"

"Yeah. Turns out she's a guard there."

"Yikes."

"Be careful there," Celestia said. "Remember the relations between our countries can be damaged if you're too rough."

"Of course. Next, Flim and Flam are doing 'investment ventures' in Vanhoover. After that... it's Discord or Chrysalis, and I have no clue what to do then."

"And what if none of 'em did it?" Applejack asked.

"Then... I don't know." She sounded like she suspected it would come to that. "I've brought enough books to study how to get the rings off.”

KEEP DREAMING

Applejack banged her ring. Celestia forgot herself and laughed.

Twilight's ears drooped. "I think I can get it off... I hope."

Celestia stopped and looked at her student. She lifted a wing, and Twilight rose underneath it, nuzzling against her. Then, she lifted her other wing and looked at Applejack.

The farmpony blushed when she recognized the invitation, but rose and moved forward all the same. She felt a little awkward at first, but when the wing closed over her and pinned her to Celestia side, she felt suddenly contented.

"I'm sure you'll both do fine. You've both saved Equestria many times. I've seen you grow and learn. You'll both do fine. I have faith in you."

Twilight nuzzled her teacher deeply, but Applejack just sat there, wondering if that "you" included her.

Author's Note

Special thanks to EquesTRON. He wrote the Deleted Scene, and said I could take anything from it. The two guards are his, are are a few of the elements in this chapter.

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Night Mare

Applejack walked down the hallways of the Castle, muttering to herself. Celestia had dismissed her, likely because she wanted to spend some time alone with her faithful student.

She just looked at the carpet. It was bad enough back before this happened, when she could keep her feelings under control. But now she was around Twilight far too much. Every new revelation was painful for her. Having to sleep right next to her, Luna liking her... oh sweet merciful Creator...

She sighed as she looked at the tiles.

...Wait...

The elaborate carpet had, at some unknown point, transformed into plain tile. She blinked, then looked up.

A hospital.

She blinked. She looked around. There were nurses and doctors, marked with various medical-themed cutie marks, running around with clipboards and tools while going in and out of doors. She looked to her immediate left, in which sat a pony she didn’t recognize, shaved bald for some reason. The right was another story.

“Twi!”

Indeed, Twilight lay, her face bruised and swollen, her horn wrapped tightly in bandages (“They snapped it right off... might not be able to reattach...”). There were gashes up her forelegs (“Blood loss... very severe.”) that ended with an IV tube stuck just above each hoof. She knew what lie beneath the covers, what the doctors wouldn’t let any of them, not even the Princess, look at (“They were intentionally aiming to cripple... it doesn’t bode well.”).

“No... no... it ain’t real! It ain’t! Twi was okay... she came through...”

Twilight’s eyes opened. She looked at her, her eyes looking dull and pleading. Slowly, one of the scarred forelegs raised up, pointing it at her.

Accusing her.

“No, please, Twi... I can’t...”

You... it was Twilight’s voice, made raspy from dehydration. You led them. You let them abandon me...

“No! no! This ain’t real! It’s a nightmare! A nightmare! No, I’ve had it too many times already!”

A bright white light seemed to answer her pleas. It didn’t shine in from anywhere, but rather, it ripped through the world as the scene fell apart. Had Applejack not known she was dreaming, she would have panicked, but she only welcomed it. Still, the sheer intensity made her hide under her hat until the light dimmed.

“Applejack?”

Her ears perked up.

“Fair Applejack?”

She looked. The hospital and, thankfully, the terrifying apparition of what Twilight could have been, was gone. There was merely a deep, empty white space. And the only pony with her was Princess Luna, looking at her.

“Yer Highness?”

“You were dreaming, Applejack,” she said. “You fell asleep waiting for Twilight to return to you.” Without another word, she placed a foreleg around her and pulled her close.

Applejack opened her mouth to say she was fine, but tears came spilling out instead. She pressed her face up against Luna’s chest and cried.

“I’m sorry, fair Applejack,” Luna sighed. “I should have kept a closer watch on you and your friends’s dreams.”

“W-what do ya mean?” she shuddered through tears.

“My sister suffered this nightmare herself for months after the wedding,” she sighed. “I was so determined to comfort her through that, I missed that you and your friends might be suffering the same.”

By now, Applejack had regained control of herself somewhat. Her tears were still falling, but she was at least in control enough. “I... you don’t need to worry none, Princess. I--”

“Applejack,” she cut her off simply. “You should not try to be stubborn about this. There is no use lying to me about this.”

Applejack looked at her, then at the floor. “I... I led everypony out on her...”

“They followed without hesitation. You did nothing.”

“But Twi coulda gotten hurt!” Applejack cried. “What if them changelings had beaten her down? Or... or..”

“Ah, ‘what if?’... truly the most bothersome question in existence. What if I had resisted Nightmare... what if I had talked to my sister about my troubles better... what if my sister and I had tried other tactics to prevent Discord from rising to power? I have had many sleepless days pondering those questions.”

Applejack suddenly felt an odd sort of shame. She often forgot her experiences were trivial compared to the Royal Sisters. “Princess... I’m sorry, you’ve been through so much and I...”

“Have been through much as well,” she said simply. “And your feelings are no less important in the matter. My point was only this: wondering ‘what if’ will solve little. Instead, think of this as opportunity to become the friend you feel Twilight Sparkle deserves.”

Applejack only nodded. “I will, Princess.” The sadness was still in her voice.

“You love her, don’t you?”

Applejack looked at her with wide eyes. “Huh?”

“This wedding. You wanted it, didn’t you?”

Applejack felt her face light up. “H-how did you...”

“Please. I’m the Mistress of Dreams. And yours have been... interesting. That one where Twilight Sparkle wears all that leather was especially entertaining.”

Applejack officially wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

“Oh, no need to be embarrassed. What you do in bed is your own business... and mine, since I patrol dreams.” Despite herself, there was a hint of amusement in her voice. “Though I’ll try not to intrude, but I can’t tell what dreams are until I enter, you understand.”

“Y-yeah,” she grumbled.

“I cannot say I blame thee, Twilight Sparkle is quite a lovely mare.”

“Yeah... you were enjoying her earlier, I noticed.”

Luna was surprised at the anger that had crept into Applejack’s voice, but only for a moment. “You needn’t worry. I do truly think Twilight is a lovely mare, but doing so would damage my relationship with Celestia.”

Applejack looked at her. “Huh?”

“Oh, not that badly. But she knew Twilight when she was a wide-eyed foal. I think part of her wishes she still were. My sister cares for her like her own child. I’ll look, but not touch, as it were.”

“Oh. Well... thank you,” Applejack said. She rubbed her front leg.

“So, you’ll tell Twilight Sparkle tomorrow, I trust?”

“What? No!”

“Why?”

It was a minute before Applejack realized that Luna was honestly confused. She was looking at the farmpony like a foal might look at an adult participating in a peculiar activity.

“Well, she’s outta my league! She has royalty gawking at her! She’d never...”

“Foalishness!” Luna said, in a tone that made it clear she wanted to hear no more. “A coward’s cry. Tell her on the morn!”

“What? No! Why does everypony gotta try an’ run my love life? I won’t!”

“Then I shall tell her.”

No!” Applejack’s pride failed her. She threw herself at Luna’s hooves, wrapping her forelegs around hers. “Please, Princess! Please! Don’t!”

“I will,” she said coldly. “I have always thought secret... ‘crushes’, I believe they’re called now, were foalish! The world will not end if she says no.”

“But...” She tried to get out the other half of it, about Twilight dragging her into a life she wasn’t prepared to live, but Luna was adamant.

“No buts! You tell her on the morn, or I shall!”

“Please, Princess... please listen...”

Luna stayed quiet, but her look was one of a pony prepared to hold her ground.

“Princess...” It hit her then. “Princess, do you know what yer sister is preparin’ Twi for?”

Luna blinked. “Well... yes. Are you worried about that?”

Applejack nodded. “I don’t want to keep her in Ponyville if Celestia has plans fer her, and...” She thought about what Rainbow Dash said, then decided she needed to be honest about it. “I ain’t sure I could stand bein’ away from Ponyville if we left.”

Luna was calmer now. She nodded. “I suppose that is a legitimate concern. Yes... wouldn’t want to pull Twilight Sparkle into anything until you’re sure.”

“What is your sister planning?”

“I cannot say,” Luna said. “She made me promise to keep it a secret from all. But...” She seemed to reconsider for a moment. “I trust you will stay quiet about this?”

Applejack nodded.

“It will come to fruition very soon. Very soon. I take it you will talk to Twilight Sparkle afterward?”

“Huh?”

Luna’s expression got narrow. “You will talk to Twilight Sparkle at that time. You will discuss it amongst yourselves.”

Fear gripped Applejack again, and in that fear, anger came out. “What business is it of yours?”

Luna leaned in, and Applejack’s anger evaporated. The Princess of the Night could look very intimidating. “Twilight Sparkle is my liberator. Her happiness is my business. I will not let her miss a potential mate because you refuse to speak up. Now, wake up!”

Applejack obeyed. Her eyes opened to the roof of the room they were sharing. Twilight still wasn’t there.

She took some deep breaths. This wasn’t good. Luna had threatened her over the whole thing.

...Or had she? It had been a dream, after all. Was it really Luna walking in her dreams, or just regular vanilla dreaming? Or was it even the rings, with another trick? Luna had seemed unusually aggressive...

She looked at her jewelry. “Was that yer doin’?”

YOU KNOW, TALKING TO INANIMATE

The words faded, replaced with the second line.

OBJECTS IS A SIGN OF INSANITY

She growled. Before she could go on, the door to their bedroom opened.

“Applejack?” Twilight said. “Is something wrong?”

The farmpony was silent a moment before shaking her head. “No. Nothin’.”

“Well, alright,” she said, climbing into bed. Applejack tried to keep her face straight. These rings might be messing with her dreams, but how could she explain that to Twilight without revealing exactly what her dreams were?

She sighed. She doubted she'd be sleeping tonight.

Author's Note

Okay, two things:

One: this chapter was a nightmare to write, worrying how to write it without repeating Rainbow Dash and Applejack's heart to heart. I'm not sure how it will go over. I meant for another scene with Rarity and Blueblood, but nothing worth doing with them came to mind.

Two: My editor didn't get to this in time. I didn't want to keep it in until Thursday after such a long schedule slip, so I decided to publish as is. His corrections (if any) will be up Thursday.

Anyway, next update is on the 28th.

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Crusades

Applejack had a night of no sleep. She did not want to see Luna invading her dreams again, and that combined with the fact that the pony she so desperately wanted as a mate was sleeping next to her.

Twilight awoke feeling rested and, of course, noticed the fatigue in her partner. When pressed, all she said was "Well, I'm surprised you're sleepin' so well when there's somepony tryin' ta keep us together."

Breakfast was simple for palace life, which was still more elegant than Applejack was used to. As she poked her breakfast hay on a silver platter, Twilight spoke.

"Just about everypony we’ll be interviewing had their locations confirmed. We’ve made sure that none of them will move around until we get there.”

Applejack swallowed. “How’d they do that? They didn’t arrest anypony, did they?”

She shook her head. “Different methods. I guess maybe Flim and Flam were. They’re running a shop in Vanhoover. They only rented the space out for a month, so it's probably some quick scam. The Princess has them pulled in for questioning."

Applejack looked up. "Can she do that? I mean, do we have anything we can charge 'em with?"

"They're suspects in a crime, so we can bring them in for questioning. Admittedly, we don't exactly have a lot of evidence on them... we don't have evidence on anypony. But they are ponies who would have a reason to have a grudge against us."

Princess Celestia, who was seated at the end of the table, spoke up. "They might be in jail anyway. We started going through their records since we’ve brought them in, and we’ve found that they’ve made quite a few ponies angry.”

“Ya mean they’ve been scammin’ other ponies?”

“Well, I’m not so sure ‘scamming’ is the right word. They certainly haven’t acted what I would call ethically, but the subject on whether or not it was illegal is something up for debate.”

Luna scoffed. “Laws are too soft these days...”

“Now, Lulu, remember what we talked about.”

The younger alicorn sighed. “I still have centuries of changes to catch up on, I know.” She took another sip of her coffee. “I agree that most of your policies are for the best, dear sister, but if these ponies are truly as dishonest as you say, can we not do something?”

“We shall, Luna, believe me.”

“It just seems that someponies need more forceful tactics to learn how to act.”

Her head didn’t turn a millimeter toward Applejack, but the cowpony ducked under her hat just the same.

“Anyway, they’ve been forbidden to leave town,” Twilight said. “They think they’re under some questioning for the store alone. I didn’t want them to know it was direct from Celestia herself.”

“From what you’ve told us,” Luna said, “they’d flee like dogs with their tails between their legs.”

“I’m already worried they’ll try running now,” she said, “but beggars can’t be choosers. They’re not high on our list anyway. We’re leaving for Manehattan as soon as we finish.”

“I believe that would be for the best,” Celestia said.

“Only one thing, where’s Blueblood? I was hoping to see him before I left.”

Celestia stayed silent for a moment. “Blueblood is... busy, I’m afraid. Top secret.”

“I see,” Twilight said. “Well, I hope wherever he is, he's having more fun than I am."

It was getting harder and harder to count the days since this whole affair began, likely because they had all began the same way. Waking up hungover several days in a row was not pleasant, even if it was next to a beautiful mare.

This time, there had been no accusing shouts, no accusations, merely the sounds of annoyance and resignation. There had been protests of both of their breakfasts being brought to his room.

"Why can't I go to my room and eat?"

"Because Auntie asked us to keep out of sight while Twilight was here, remember. If she or her... wife," a snicker escaped his lips, and Rarity's too, "saw us, she'd get mad. And there would be questions we don't want to answer."

Rarity nodded, then a thought occurred to her. "Couldn't they see us dating in those tabloids? Neither of them read them, but..."

"So what if they do? By tonight they'll be halfway across the country. It's not like they'd come all the way back to Canterlot to interrogate us."

"I suppose," she conceded, eating her breakfast hay. There was another awkward silence. "I hope my parents are taking care of Opal all right."

"The cat? I'm sure they're doing fine. They took care of you for eighteen years, didn't they?"

"Well, yes, but they were rather..."

"Stupid?"

"Scatter-brained. I was going to say scatter-brained."

"Sure you were," he said, taking another bite.

"I shudder to think what Sweetie Belle thinks of my disappearance. Oh, how the poor dear must be missing me."

Blueblood arched an eyebrow. "Your sister spends a lot of time with you?"

"Too much. I love her so, but... she drives me up the wall. She’s always trying to get her cutie mark, and she does all these unbelievable things to get it."

Blueblood was silent for a moment. "How old..."

"Nine years. She'll be ten by the end of the year."

"A late bloomer then. I was about that age when I got mine."

A silence. That sentence was important. Among ponies, mentioning a cutie mark meant that you were giving another permission to ask. "How did..."

"After I... came to live with Auntie... I started poking around the royal library. I saw a map with all these locations on it. Prance, Germane, Saddle Arabia. I didn't know any of them, so I went looking in the books and... what i read, the pictures I saw. I thought they were amazing. I wanted to see them all. A few months later, Auntie took Twilight, Spike, and I to Neighagra Falls in Vanhoover. I was so amazed, I wanted to see everything, to see the whole world. Then, it appeared on my flank..."

She nodded. She had wondered about his mark back when she still entertained the idea that he was a dashing pony, as opposed to a simple stallion.

She stopped at her own thought. She was getting too used to Blueblood. That really disturbed her.

She looked at him and noticed that he was looking back. He was expecting something, not eagerly but simply out of a guess that it was coming.

So she told him her story. When she was finished she nodded. "I'm glad you got yours without too much trouble. When was this?"

"The same day Twilight got hers." Blueblood looked at her. "We put two and two together and realized the same rainbow explosion happened at the same time."

"Oh yeah... what was that? Did Twilight ever find out what that was?"

"She did. But... it's another pony's story."

Blueblood nodded. "I remember Twilight poking through books on all kinds of phenomena trying to piece it together. I was curious too. That had been just before I came to live in the castle."

"Well, maybe you can meet Rainbow Dash someday."

There was another awkward silence.

"How is Spike, these days? I haven't heard from him."

"He's fine. I suppose right now Twilight has him running around doing some manner of work.”

Spike still hadn't gotten all the grime off his skin. He also hadn't gotten all the stiffness out of his muscles, or the ringing in his head to stop. He didn't think he could feel any worse.

Until Apple Bloom burst into the guest room, hopped on the bed, and happily declared that it was time for a new day of crusadin’.

"No! No! No!" he cried as the filly dragged him across the house, his tail in her teeth.

"Now you cut that out!" Granny Smith said. "You're gettin' claw marks in the floor!"

"But your granddaughter's trying to kill me!"

"Aw, quit being such a baby!" Spike hadn't noticed Scootaloo arrived. She and Sweetie Belle were standing in the doorway looking impatient.

"I'm not being a baby for not wanting to be killed."

"We're not doing anything dangerous. We were just going to head over to Fluttershy's cottage..."

Spike stopped. "That doesn't sound so bad."

"Yeah. She said her bear likes to wrestle, so we figured..."

Spike redoubled his efforts.

"Now, really, Twilight's going to have to pay fer the new floorboards."

Spike looked at her. "Didn't you hear her? She going to wrestle a bear! Shouldn't you stop her?"

"Eh, if it's one o' Fluttershy’s critters, he's probably harmless. You go on and have fun."

"But... but..."

Spike was now out the door, resorting to trying to grasp onto blades of grass. "Come on, can't we do something else? We could go to a carnival! I could send a message to Princess Celestia and have her send a chariot to take us."

That actually got them to stop. Apple Bloom released him. "Hey, that doesn't sound bad!"

"Yes, yes, it is! I went to them a lot back when I lived in Canterlot. There are rides, cotton candy, games, hayburgers, Blueblood always had to try a kissing booth..."

"Kissing booth?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Yeah. It's where you pay to get a kiss."

"Ew," Scootaloo stuck out her tongue, "who would pay for that?"

Her fellow Crusaders didn't share her sentiments. "You can do that? That means we can get a cutie mark in kissin'!"

"Ew, no way!"

"I think it sounds so sweet! We should try it!"

"But where are we gonna find somepony ta kiss?"

There was a pause. Then three heads turned to look at Spike.

He was no longer there. He was thirty feet away and getting farther away.

"After him!" Apple Bloom pointed toward her prey.

"Ew, no! Let's try bear wrestling."

"Come on, Scoots, you know th' rule. Two outta three voted. Now come on, the sooner we kiss Spike, th' sonner we can try bear wrasslin'."

"...Fine."

And thus the three ran after Spike, with the cry of "Cutie Mark Crusader Kissers!"

It was followed about thirty seconds later with "Curse these stupid stubby legs!"

Angel rubbed his paws together. Today was the day. Today was the day that Rainbow Dash got kicked out.

Angel jumped ten feet in the air, turning to see Owlowiscious looking at him. Somehow, with several mouthfuls of feathers missing on his body, he looked more intimidating than ever.

Winona's howls reached them both.

Tank said, flying his way up to the group.

Owlowiscious said, leaning in,

The sounds of hooves coming down the stairs interrupted him. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were walking down, with the latter limping a little.

“Ow... Fluttershy, you need to be more careful. I think you broke one of my ribs...”

“I’m sorry, it’s just... that movie you picked was so scary! I needed something to hold on to.”

“Well, I’ve gotta get to work.”

“No time for breakfast?”

“‘Fraid not. But if I get my work done quickly enough, I can be back by lunch.” She kissed her marefriend on the cheek. “You stay beautiful.”

She went over to the pets and gave Tank a quick nuzzle on the nose. “Be good, Tank.” Then she turned to Angel. “And nothing funny out of you, got it?”

Angel motioned that he was crossing his heart. Giving one last suspicious look, Rainbow Dash left.

“Oh, don’t worry, Rainbow Dash, I’m sure he’ll be good. We’re going to have lots of fun together.”

Angel smiled. Yes, fun indeed.

Author's Note

I'm sorry. The next chapter will be funny.

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Manehatten I

Spike pressed himself as far up against the back of the tree he was hiding behind, wishing he could melt into it and hide. He needed to get away, but it was just no use.

"Spike! Come on!" Scootaloo's voice was the single most unpleasant thing in Equestria to Spike at the moment. "The sooner we do this, the sooner we can get to real crusading."

Spike shook, never having been this scared.

"What are you doing?"

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had seen him. In fact, they had been nearby, and Spike had been too busy hoping the Crusaders didn't see him to notice.

"Shh!" he brought a finger to his lips. "Shut up! If they find out I'm here, they're going to..." he gulped.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Flicking her tail in a dismissive fashion, she trotted over to her usual victims, with Silver Spoon following beside her.

"Well, well, well," the pink filly began her usual, by now routine diatribe. "The blank flanks out looking for something they're actually good for."

"Just ignore her, girls," Apple Bloom said. "We gotta find Spike!"

"Aw, even the dragon thinks the blank flanks are freaks!" Diamond and Silver laughed as if the latter’s comment had any wit in it at all.

"Hey, he was hanging out with us yesterday," Scootaloo jumped in. Regardless of what Apple Bloom said, she was not about to let Diamond Tiara get away with insulting her. "He's just being a wimp about our next crusade."

"Oh?" Diamond Tiara gave the condescending amusement pose she had seen in her fashion magazines. "And what's that?"

"We're going to try being kissing booth operators," Sweetie said.

At this, Diamond Tiara laughed. "Seriously? That has to be your lamest idea yet!"

Sweetie blushed, but Scootaloo was ready. "You're just saying that because no colt would ever want to kiss you."

That got the bully to stop dead. "What?"

Scootaloo put on a grin, hoping she sounded as confident as Rainbow Dash usually did. "Yeah. You think it's stupid because all the colts in class think you two are icky."

"They do not!" Silver Spoon yelled.

"Yeah they do! None of the colts gave you cards on Hearts and Hooves Day!"

"They did so! And I bet we kiss better than you!"

"Well, we'll see once we find Spike," Apple Bloom went back to looking around.

"He's right behind that tree!" Diamond Tiara shot a hoof at Spike. "Now come on, I'll be he likes my kiss more than..."

A purple blur shot out from the tree and ran as fast as his short legs would carry him. "You traitor!"

"After him!" Diamond Tiara yelled.

"No! Nooo! Twilight, how could you leave me to this!"

Twilight suddenly stopped. "That's odd..."

Applejack looked at her, stopping as well. Both were getting brushed by the sheer amount of ponies brushing past them, but Twilight at least didn't seem bothered by this. "What's wrong, Twi?"

"I just got the strangest feeling Spike got himself in trouble."

"Givin' my sister an' her friends, I think that's a given. Don't you worry, I'm sure whatever Spike’s gotten into, he’ll bounce back. Ya need to not jump every time yer “mama” instincts tell ya to.”

Twilight blushed, but the comment got her moving again. “I’m not Spike’s mom.”

“Yeah, right,” Applejack said. Then at Twilight’s look she shrugged. “I ain’t gonna argue with ya. We got better things ta do. Sides, it’s not like you can avoid me forever.”

Twilight blushed even harder. Celestia said she’d need a week to get the rings off, so it looked like they were stuck sleeping together during their travels.

“So... where we goin’, exactly?”

“We’re going to the theatre where Trixie is performing. Hopefully we can get her during rehearsal and ask her a few questions.” She stopped, then pulled out a map from her saddlebag. “It should be around here somewhere...”

“Ya think Trixie will be willin’ to talk?”

“Probably... she did sound like she wanted to change after the whole mess with the Amulet. And since we have that to hang over her, it might go smoothly.”

“Yer sayin’ we’re gonna blackmail her?”

“Not quite... ah, it’s right down this street," she began walking again. "We swept the Amulet mess under the rug when everything was over. The Princess decided that the Amulet was at fault, not her. But if we decide to detain her, it could spill out."

"So... she'll cooperate to prevent that from happenin'?"

"Pretty much. She's starting to build a name for herself. This could damage it. Here we are."

They stopped in front of a theatre. Not the biggest Manehattan had to offer, but still nice. "Come on, around the back way."

The back door was guarded by an earth pony with considerable bulk. He snorted at the pair. "Dis area's fer authorized personnel only."

Twilight pulled out a letter and handed it to him. It had a simple sentence.

"The bearer of this letter acts on my authority. Do nothing to stop her and tell nopony of her actions.

Princess Celestia

High Princess of Canterlot

Raiser of the Sun"

The stallion looked at the letter, then back at Twilight. "Yeah... yer Twilight Sparkle, ain't ya?"

"Indeed," she said, putting the letter away. "We have no time to chat. We must speak to Trixie Lulamoon at once."

"...She's rehearsin'..."

"This can't wait," she said, gently but firmly. "I need to ask her a few questions, nothing more."

"...Alright. But be sure ta mention you're under orders. I need dis job."

With some reassurances they were inside. Almost immediately they were confronted by a stage hoof, who didn't seem too happy to see them. "May I help you?"

"We need to speak with Trixie Lula..."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is busy. She has no time for autographs."

"We're not looking for autographs. Could you please tell Trix..."

"I don't care why you're here, get out before..."

"Twilight Sparkle?"

The voice pierced through the conversation, and all three heads turned to look. Trixie was there, looking little different than the last time she had been seen.

Only... that wasn't quite true. Trixie looked physically the same, but something was different. It seemed a far cry from the pony they knew, either before or during the incident with the Alicorn Amulet. There was no malice or self-centeredness in her stance. Indeed, she looked happy.

"Twilight Sparkle! You came to see Trixie's show! Oh, I hoped you would!" She turned her attention to the stage hoof. "Were you trying to keep them from seeing Trixie? How dare you! Go, reinspect the backgrounds. Trixie will deal with you later."

The stage hoof shot a glare at Applejack and Twilight, as if it had been their fault, then stomped off. Trixie sighed. "Forgive Trixie. He's not exactly the easiest pony to work with. But I'm glad you're here. Trixie was about to send you and your friends tickets, but you’re here now!"

Twilight and Applejack looked at each other, then back at the showmare. This hadn’t been what they were expecting.

“You... seem awfully happy to see us.” Twilight picked her words carefully. If Trixie was actually happy, the last thing she wanted to do was offend her. Applejack thought it best not to speak. She hadn’t liked Trixie from the moment she entered Ponyville, and being forced to mush her hard-grown crop for something as wasteful as a facial mask, accompanied by tickle torture when she refused, had only soured her disposition. Twilight had claimed Trixie was on the level now, but the girl had always been quick to forgive...

But don’t forget. The fact that we’re here right now is proof of that.

To both of their surprises, Trixie actually gave a bow. Not one of worship, as so many gave to Celestia and Luna, but one that conceded that the one in front of her was superior. “Twilight... you gave me another chance, even after...” She trailed off, and looked around. Nopony else was watching, but she still lowered her voice. “...everything I’d done. I can’t thank you enough for that. I was hoping I could meet you again and... we could be friends.” She sounded like she was ashamed for even having the thought.

Twilight bit her lip. This was not going to be fun. "Trixie," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "I'm afraid this isn't a social call. We need to talk."

"...Is Trixie in trouble?" Her voice was quavering. She was really worried.

"I don't think so. But we still need to ask you a few questions. Do you have a private place we can talk?"

Spike was nearly out of breath, but he was still miles ahead of the Crusaders. He just needed to get back to the farm. He couldn't hide in the library, since he had left his only key in his room, so it was back to the Apple home to hide.

He could hear the hoofsteps, the calls for him to slow down. They were all the incentive he needed to keep running.

And then, he tripped.

He desperately tried to get up, but deep in his heart he knew he was doomed. He turned onto his back. He was just in time to see Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon both jumping down on him.

Trixie's dressing room was surprisingly plain from what Applejack had expected. Oh, there were pictures of her everywhere, but they seemed to be mostly publicity photos and posters for her show. A makeup mirror and chair, a couch, and a mess of props littered the room. It was clear that order was the last thing on Trixie's mind.

Snickering as quietly as she could, she snuck a glance at Twilight. Her natural neat freak was battling her common sense, causing her to twitch.

"Please, Trixie hasn't done anything. Trixie has been following all of the Royal Guard's instructions."

"Trixie," Twilight was fighting a losing battle to keep her voice even. "Please. We just need to ask you a few things. Will you answer?"

"Of course."

Twilight pulled out a notepad and pencil. "Where were you three nights ago?"

Trixie blinked. "Trixie was here, performing a show."

"How late does this show last?"

"Until about eleven... look, what is this about?"

"Please just answer, Trixie. We'll be out of your mane in no time. Can you teleport?"

"No, Trixie never... wait," she stopped, now looking angry. Her eyes were starting to prick with tears. "Just what am I being accused of?"

Twilight shifted. If Trixie really wasn't the one, she didn't want to admit what had happened. "Trixie, please..."

"No. Trixie has become a model citizen. She will not answer another question until she knows the meaning of this!"

Twilight and Applejack shot a look at each other. Finally, they both gave a sigh of resignation. "Somepony... messed with us a few nights ago," Twilight said. "We're trying to find out who..."

"And what makes you think Trixie did it?"

"Well... there aren't many who don't like us... we're not blaming you, I don't think it's you, but you're one of our only leads."

Trixie softened a bit, though she still looked rather offended. "Well... what is the nature of this? What..." She trailed off when realization crossed her face. “Those rings..."

Twilight froze, they had been expecting this. The shock of seeing them had worn off, and now she was looking at the rings, and noticing their similarity. "Are you... are you two married?"

"No," Twilight answered too quickly.

"...Yes," Applejack answered, cursing her Element, "but not really."

All offense was gone. Now Trixie just looked confused. "Wha?"

Twilight gave a sigh. "We... got drunk. And then... somepony married us. And they're trying to keep us together. We're trying to figure out who did it."

Silence.

Then, Trixie hit the floor laughing.

"He liked mine better!"

"Uh-uh, he liked mine!"

It was unusual to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders sharing a table with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, but neither side would leave Spike's side until he declared a winner. Refusing to do so only ensured that he'd have an entourage. He sipped at his milkshake, praying to Celestia that something would happen that would free him.

"Like you blank flanks know anything. Kissing is a big pony thing, not something for foals."

"We aren't foals!"

"Hey, I got an idea," Spike said suddenly. "Let's play the quiet game."

Silver Spoon beamed. "My parents love that game!"

"Yeah, I bet," Spike said, too quiet for the others to hear. "Why don't we start now?"

"Come on, Spike, just pick a winner!" Diamond Tiara said. "You hang around that egghead all the time, you should be smarter than this!"

Spike rubbed his head. This was not a pleasant day. "Look, can we just do something else?"

Diamond Tiara sneered. "Like what? The blank flanks just do stupid things that nearly get them killed."

"How about something nice and quiet, like... stargazing! It'll be dark in a few hours. I could get Twilight's telescope out and..."

"Spike, the keys words there are "In a few hours". Now quit trying to fool us and pick one of us!"

Scootaloo's outburst sent Spike back for a moment. "Uh... oh, look! Pound is doing loop-the-loops in the air while doing the Wonderbolts salute!"

"What?" Scootaloo whirled around to catch the younger pegasus once again outmatching her at flying. The other fillies looked as well.

He wasn't there.

But the sound of Sugar Cube Corner's bell sounding was evidence of where Spike was.

"He's getting away! After him!"

After Trixie finally stopped laughing, she gave straight answers. They had run them by the other members of Trixie’s crew, who all confirmed her story.

“Could they be coverin’ fer her?” Applejack whispered into Twilight’s ear.

“Maybe, but I don’t know.” Twilight noticed Trixie reapproaching. “We’ll talk later.”

“Is Trixie off the hook?”

“For now,” Twilight said, giving a reassuring smile. “Probably for good. I really wasn’t expecting to find anything here, but this was the first stop.”

“Then will you stay for Trixie’s show? Pretty please?” She was actually widening her eyes, making them as pouting as possible.

The two looked at one another. Applejack didn’t want to show any expression, but she was hoping that Twilight would say no.

“Why not? We had nothing planned, and we can’t leave until the chariot gets back. Sure Trixie, we’ll be there.”

It took all of Applejack’s willpower not to facehoof. Trixie practically squealed.

“Great! You’ll have balcony seats to the best show in Manehattan!”

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Manehatten II

You could get food easily in Manehattan, as long as you had the bits, but most of it was terrible, at least in Applejack's opinion. It lacked the care that either home-cooked meals or the chefs in Canterlot could provide. Still, food was food, so she sat munching on an oatburger on a park bench, trying not to taste it.

It was easy enough, she had other things on her mind.

"Twi... why'd ya take Trixie up on her offer?"

The unicorn looked at her wife with an odd look. "Why wouldn't we? We can't go to Vanhoover until tomorrow morning. We might as well take in some culture until then."

"Yeah, but Trixie? Have you forgotten what she did ta us?"

Twilight shook her head. "You know that it was the Amulet that made Trixie act like this. Before she left, Princess Celestia put her under so many scanning spells I thought she was going to get magical sickness. There's no more dark energy in her. And if you're talking about the Ursa Minor, you know that was Snips and Snails’s fault more than hers."

"Twi... you weren't there. You didn't have to work fer her, doin' all these insane demands from 'er an' gettin' yer belly tickled if ya refused."

"Applejack... you know how lucky you were to get off with just tickling? I looked up the Amulet after it was over. There were stories of ponies who crucified anypony who stood against them... as well as a few other things that I can't tell you about without feeling sick." Indeed, her purple coat turned a bit green. "If her punishments were only that, I think that's a sign that the Amulet couldn't corrupt her bad enough."

"What if she had kept it on?"

"...Maybe," she admitted. "We don't really understand how the Amulet works. But ponies who only had it for a week were far worse than her."

"I... I guess," Applejack mumbled. "'Cept fer Snips an' Snails, she left the foals alone... mostly."

Twilight nodded. "See? Not that bad."

"I guess. Still wasn't fun..."

"...Are you mad that I took Trixie up on her invitation?"

"...A bit. Look, I know it weren't her fault... not entirely, anyway, but seein' her after everythin' ain't gonna be pleasant."

"Maybe it'll be better than you think. In fact, it might be just what you need."

Celestia's Sun lowered as Rarity and Blueblood entered the carriage from the palace to their usual restaurant.

"Now then, are you sure there will be no alcohol?"

Blueblood just grinned. "Aww, what, can't handle waking up to..."

His lips were squeezed shut by Rarity's magic. "I'll give you another black eye. I swear it."

Blueblood waited until Rarity released him before speaking. "That's a threatening statement to a member of nobility. I think that's good for another day of community service."

Rarity tried to keep a straight face. She knew by now that getting angry at Blueblood would only encourage him, so she kept her voice even. "And what, pray tell, would you have me do? The changelings will be caught in a week."

Blueblood grinned, and it was the kind that had nothing good behind it. "Maybe we can try the maid thing..."

Rarity lost her composure. "You... you!"

"Relax, I'm kidding," he said. "...Unless, of course, you want to..."

"You pig!" She turned and looked out the window, crossing her forelegs.

Blueblood chuckled. "You know, Auntie says your friends are in Manehattan right now."

That actually got Rarity to look back at him. "What? What if they try to find me there? That could cause this whole thing to fall apart..."

"I doubt they will. Given they they still don't know that you know about the wedding," both Blueblood and Rarity snickered, "and they'll likely want to keep it secret as long as they can. Besides, we have the cover story with you here, remember?"

"Yes... that's right. Why are they in Manehattan, anyhow?"

"They're interviewing that pony that got her hooves on the Alicorn Amulet a few months back... Trixie, I think her name was."

"Trixie?" That was a surprise. She was about to ask how Blueblood knew about her, but stopped. His job was dealing with potential security threats, of course he'd know about something like that. "What is she doing down there?"

"Some sort of show or other," Blueblood brushed off. "She's not my department."

"Well, I hope they're having more fun than I am."

Rarity regretted that statement when she saw Blueblood grinning. "Aw, is my company..."

A hoof inserted itself into Blueblood's mouth. "Finish that and I will give you one."

As soon as the hoof was removed, he spoke. "Hmm, a little pain for a lovely maid... sounds like a fair trade."

She scoffed, deciding it was best not to feed the fire.

"And Luna put up that one just a few nights ago," Spike said pointing to a cluster of stars. "It's supposed to be the great warrior Silver Sword."

Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Silver Spoon looked up at the cluster. "It looks so beautiful," the latter filly mused.

"It's my turn for the telescope!" Apple Bloom called, trying to shove Diamond Tiara away from Twilight's custom made tool.

"Blank flanks don't get a turn," the pink filly said, pushing into her at the side.

By now, their four companions had learned to tune out their arguing, though Spike was keeping a close eye on the telescope to make sure the pair didn't break it. "And to the right is the original Ursa Major."

"The original?" Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow at that.

"Twilight told me that all the Ursa Majors on Equus were brought down from the stars by NightMare Moon when she started to stand up to her sister."

"So they're like the Timberwolves?" Silver Spoon asked. "They were made from the magic run off from Celestia and NightMare Moon's fight." The other looked at her. "What? I pay attention in class."

"Well, kind of," Spike said, "The Timberwolves were made by magic. The Ursas already existed, and were brought down from the sky."

"You're a nerd," Diamond Tiara said. Then, remembering that beating Apple Bloom counted on her being on his good side, she added, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Spike rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. He just looked back up at the stars.

"Did Twilight teach you all this?"

"Yeah," Spike answered Sweetie's question without thinking. Then decided to go on. "When I was real little she had astronomy class. She'd bring me along on all her stargazing. She always told me everything she saw. I thought it was cool back then."

Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow. "Back then?"

Spike shrugged. "Once astronomy class ended, we kind of stopped doing it. We'd seen all the stars... Luna wasn't around to make any more back then, so it got kind of dull."

"Then what did you do for fun?"

"Read comic books while Twilight worked. Of course, when those ran out I had to settle for textbooks... which could be cool, if I found something good enough."

"Didn't you and Twi hang out at all after that?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Yeah. I became her assistant, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but didn't the two of you just have fun?"

"I doubt it," Diamond Tiara said. "No offense Spike, but your mom’s way too much of a bookworm. Has she ever even had a coltfriend?"

Spike blushed. "Twilight's not my mom," he said, his words coming out incoherently from his fluster. "And no... she kissed Blueblood and Moondancer, but that was it."

"You're lucky," Diamond Tiara said, "your mom wasn't like mine, running off with some Canterlot stallion..."

Apple Bloom and the others looked at her, Silver Spoon was a bit surprised that she brought it up. "I... I'm sorry..."

"Peh," she scoffed, returning to looking through the telescope. She spoke as if discussing the weather. "She was just a gold digger who married Dad since he had bits. She hated me for not having a horn, anyway. I was actually glad to see her gone. Well... I didn't like Dad being so depressed, but it needed to happen. He needed to see how bad she was."

Everypony (and Spike) was silent for a moment. "Well... um..." Spike stumbled. "Twilight was hard to live with sometimes, but she's a good pony, and I was happy to help her. I doubt she'd... do that."

"Hmm?" Diamond Tiara tore herself off of the telescope.

"You know... run off with..."

"Oh, I know that. Anypony who would move to here from Canterlot can't care about money. I was talking about her being duped by some peasant."

"Could that really happen?" Scootaloo looked skeptical.

"Oh, it can," Silver Spoon said. "Mom made sure to marry a stallion in her money bracket because of that.”

"Well, look on the bright side, Spike," Apple Bloom said. "If Twi stays married to Applejack, that won't be a problem."

"Wait what?" Diamond Tiara said, now curious.

Spike shot Apple Bloom a glare, but it was Scootaloo who spoke. "Twilight and Applejack got smashed and married each other a few nights ago."

Silence.

Then, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon hit the ground laughing.

Rainbow Dash approached Fluttershy's cottage in a simple dress that Rarity had made for her long ago and given as a birthday present, just in case. She was holding a bouquet of flowers in one hoof, something that she made sure Fluttershy would find pretty.

She didn't see Angel on the limb of a tree just above her. Grinning, he lifted up a jar that was filled with honey that he had snatched from that dumb bear. He popped the top and dripped the sticky substance down. His aim was true, and it sprinkled the top of the flowers. Rainbow Dash didn’t notice.

She knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Fluttershy answered, wearing a stunning white dress. “Oh, h-hello, Rainbow. You know you don’t have to knock.”

“I know, but I wanted to surprise you,” she said. She started to pull the flowers out from behind her back.

Angel was doing the same with another jar, this one full of bees. Grinning, he loosened the lid just enough, then dropped it toward the ground, making sure it landed just out of their sight.

The glass didn’t shatter, Angel had dropped it too small a distance for that. But the top popped off, and the bees went free. And in their freedom, they went right for what they considered the safest source: the smell of honey.

“What the?” Rainbow Dash tossed the bouquet in surprise. Then, realizing that they were bees, she moved to shield Fluttershy from them.

She missed because Fluttershy flew up to catch the discarded flowers, a happy gasp escaping her lips. “Oh my gosh, Rainbow Dash, this is perfect!”

Before Rainbow Dash could respond, her fillyfriend flew up toward the backyard, the bees following.

Seconds later, she returned to the still stunned Rainbow Dash. The flowers were gone, but she was happy. “I’ve been meaning to get some bees to the flowers in my backyard. They’ll attract others in their hive, and now they’ll be pollinated!”

Rainbow Dash blinked. “Uh... you like them?”

Fluttershy nodded. “You’re so sweet! Oh, you beautiful mare!”

And she kissed her. Deeply.

Angel looked down, his jaw hanging. How could that go so wrong? His teeth and fists clenched. Oh, Rainbow Dash was going to pay for this.

He turned to march in, but stopped.

Now that they had their bearings together, they remembered who put them in that jar in the first place.

Spike packed up the telescope, ignoring Diamond Tiara’s protest that she wasn’t finished. “It’s Apple Bloom’s curfew. Time to go home.”

“But you didn’t pick one of us,” Silver Spoon said.

“You noticed,” Spike said with no emotion.

“You can just tell us tomorrow,” Sweetie said.

Diamond Tiara stepped up. “Oh no! I’m not letting Apple Bloom get alone time with him. She’ll bribe him or something.”

“I will not!” Apple Bloom said.

“Look,” Spike said, “unless you want to throw a slumber party or something, we’re out of luck.”

Spike’s claw instantly went up to his mouth. His eyes widened, and his irises shrunk.

The fillies looked at each other.

“You know,” Scootaloo said, “Twilight did want him to spend time with us.”

Applejack blew a few strands of her mane out of her face. Twilight sighed and used her magic to readjust her wife’s hair.

“Twi, why’d I hafta get my mane done? And why no hat?”

“I told you, we have box seats for an evening show. We might not have dresses, but I want us to look like we dressed up.”

Applejack sighed. She hated having her mane out of a ponytail. But she refused to let Twilight spend any money on her for more hair decorations, so her mane hung loose. The hotel had a few complimentary hair care products, and against her will her hair was straightened for the evening.

Twilight hardly had to change, mainly because she picked a manestyle that was both easy and worked for a formal look. Still, she was wearing earrings, stars as close to the ones Rarity made her for the Gala as she could find. She had considered makeup, but she was as adverse to it as Applejack was.

“Look, it’s a two-hour show, then Trixie wants to take us out to dinner. I think we can handle being dressed up for that long.”

Applejack sighed. Trixie’s theater was in view. “I guess. Here goes nothing.”

Jump to top

Manehatten III

Much to Applejack's surprise, the most unpleasant thing about Trixie's magic show had not been Trixie herself. Far from it. As much as the cowpony didn't like her, she had to admit the showmare had flair. Her appearance on stage had consisted of a mere scrap of cloth floating onto the stage, only to twist and turn and make her appear, strobe light highlighting her (fire was risky in an indoor theatre, Twilight said, citing something about how airflow worked).

No, what stopped her from enjoying it was Twilight herself, who looked rather bored through the whole thing. When pressed, Twilight admitted that learning everything from Princess Celestia had left her with an understanding of how tricks like this worked, and while it looked good, her mind couldn't stop herself from breaking apart each flashy trick and figuring out which comparatively simple spell made it work. All throughout, she mentioned how happy she was to be in the balcony where Trixie couldn't see her expression.

The show ended after three hours of tricks, storytelling, and flashy lights, and left the crowd roaring in applause. Afterward, ponies crowded to leave the theatre, and Twilight and Applejack were escorted backstage to Trixie's dressing room.

"Well? Wasn't Trixie's show the most amazing you've ever seen?"

"It was the best stage show I've seen," Twilight said truthfully, leaving out how unimpressed she was with any other she saw. "I can see why it's such a hit."

"Naturally," Trixie smiled, looking like she had when she first met them. Then she softened. "And I owe it all to you! That loan you convinced the Princess to give me... it helped me get started here."

"I'm sure you could have made it on your own. Right, Applejack?"

“Yeah... sure,” Applejack said.

“Now that the show’s over, Trixie would like to treat you two to a meal.”

“I don’t...” Applejack began, but Twilight shot her a look that silenced her.

“We’d be happy too... as long as it’s not too expensive.”

“Oh, pish-posh, Trixie is in no need of money for the first time in years! Please let me treat you.” Then she put on a mischievous grin. “It’ll be Trixie’s wedding present.”

Twilight blushed, but smiled. Applejack blushed and scowled, causing Trixie to back off.

“If you insist, we’ll be happy to.” It was Twilight’s statement. Applejack didn’t say a word.

Angel put his pillow over his head, trying to drown out Winona’s yapping. It was bad enough he still hurt, but being kicked out of Fluttershy’s soundproof bedroom so she could play kissyface with that Rainbow broad was just too much, especially with the roommates he picked up.

Owlowiscious said with his unnatural patience,

Owlowiscious said again, sighing.

The restaurant had indeed been fancy, but not so much that it required them to dress up any further. Trixie had insisted on paying, and it had taken every bit of Applejack’s self-control not to buy the most expensive thing on the menu strictly to spite her.

Twilight had been the one to break the ice. “How did you get this show? You sure are successful...”

“Well, after the whole mess, Princess Celestia tracked down the pony who sold Trixie the Amulet. It seemed like he was dealing in some serious black market deals. He was arrested, and Celestia gave me back the money I spent on the Amulet, since I had earned it, and told me I better spend it better. So Trixie went up to Manehattan to try and get in a production.” She looked down into her drink. “It’s funny... Trixie always dreamed of starring in a Manehattan show, and she had earned enough bits to try... but she had been so consumed with revenge she didn’t even notice.”

Twilight patted her hoof gently.

Applejack fumed a bit at this. But she shook it off. She was just comforting somepony. Why get jealous?

Trixie went on. “Trixie auditioned for a theatre troupe. She got in, but an agent was in the crowd. He said Trixie could carry her own show. He said something about following a lead to be there that day.”

Applejack noticed Twilight suppressing a grin, and worked to suppress her own. Celestia seemed to have worked her magic again.

“And Trixie’s made all sorts of new friends here! The rest of the crew loves her!”

“Really? That stagehoof didn’t seem too friendly...”

Trixie got an exasperated expression. “She’s jealous of Trixie.”

Applejack arched an eyebrow. “Jealous?”

“She’s been trying to get a show of her own for a few years. She resents that Trixie was able to get one so soon after coming to Manehatten. Trixie tried to tell her she had spent years on the road perfecting her act, but she still thinks Trixie’s just a scene stealer.”

“I... see...” Applejack said slowly. She wondered if this is how Rainbow Dash felt whenever she tried to bite back a remark.

“But enough about Trixie. Tell her: how did you two meet?”

“You’re hogging all the blankets!”

“Then go sleep in your room, blank flank!”

“And let you get alone time with Spike? Yeah right!”

Spike pressed the pillow against his ears. At least none of them had insisted on sleeping in the guest bed with him.

“And so the two sped out of town, just seconds ahead of the mob,” Rarity said. Despite her lady-like demeanor, she couldn’t stop the grin crossing her face. “They couldn’t have gone faster if a manticore was chasing them.”

Blueblood chuckled. “Ah, those two...” Then his look turned into one of annoyance. “They are managing to just barely keep their activities legal. We don’t have anything on them.”

Rarity looked at her date. “Really?”

“Flim and Flam are disgusting ponies, but they keep within the law. We’ve been trying to find something, anything we can use to put them away. They aren’t running around free due to lack of trying.”

“Yes... Princess Celestia told us she couldn’t have them put away for what happened... in between scolding the Apples for even betting the farm in the first place.”

He nodded. “This farm... it seems like it shouldn’t be so close to being shut down. From what you told me, its crops sell well.”

Now Rarity looked annoyed. “Applejack and her family are stubborn. I keep telling Applejack she needs to take some sort of money management course, but she keeps insisting that,” she cringed as she put on her best accent, “she don’t need no fancy mathematics muddyin’ the issue.”

Blueblood chuckled. “Well, maybe her... wife will lay the hammer down.” Both of them snickered at that.

“You know, Spike never told me how he knew Hoity Toity,” Rarity said. “Would you know anything about that?”

Blueblood shrugged. “Not much to tell. When he stayed at the castle, he asked for one of the staff to assist him. Spike wanted some extra bits, so he asked Celestia to send him. Toity was skeptical, but he ended up liking him enough to request him every time.”

“He is a dear,” she nodded. “Such a help...”

“Excuse me.”

The faux couple stopped at the interloper. A waiter was now beside the table, holding a tray with two wine glasses on it, as well as a folded hoofkerchief. “These come with compliments.”

“I thought we made it clear, no alcohol.”

“These do not come from the house, Your Highness,” the waiter explained, “it comes courtesy of the party at table seven.” The waiter pointed a hoof in that direction.

Blueblood rolled his eyes. “More social climbers. Who is it, Jet Set? I swear...”

Then his eyes shrunk to the size of pencil points. Rarity, who had been distracted long enough by Blueblood’s spiel, began turning to look, but was stopped.

“Don’t look,” he whispered harshly. “Put the check on my tab. I’ll pay tomorrow night.”

“What? What’s going...”

Rarity never got to finish her question. “Don’t ask. Just come on. Don’t look back.”

“But...”

“Sir, they wanted you to take this...” the waiter levitated a hoofkerchief toward him.

“I don’t want it,” he said in a harsh whisper, all while continuing to drag Rarity out.

The fashionista resisted only long enough to snatch the hoofkerchief and place it in her pocket.

Trixie smiled at Twilight’s tale of Fluttershy convincing a dragon to leave Ponyville for a more peaceful place.

Applejack was silent. She hated being the only earth pony at a table with two unicorns. While Trixie and Twilight ate neatly with her magic, she was forced to eat face-first. She still hadn’t figured out how high-class earth ponies like Filthy Rich managed it.

Neither of her companions had said anything, and she kept praying it stayed that way.

“Trixie is amazed by your tales, Twilight Sparkle.” She popped the last bit of dessert in her mouth. “She understands why you’d have a list of those who would seek to mess with you.”

“Well... being the Princess’s personal student does lead to you making enemies.”

Applejack said nothing.

When the check was brought, there was a small argument over who’d pay it. Twilight won (Applejack wasn’t surprised, she seldom let anypony take up a bill when it hardly put a dent in her savings) and placed down the bits.

“Will Trixie be seeing you again?”

“Not for a while,” Twilight said, “we leave in the morning to interview the next suspect. But why don’t I bring the others down soon? We can all attend your show.”

“Trixie accepts your proposal.”

The trio parted. It was two blocks down before Twilight spoke. “Applejack?”

“Hm?”

“You hardly said a word tonight.”

“...You know how I feel about her. I was bein’ polite.”

“I know..” Twilight said. Then, after considering, she added, “At least, as polite as somepony would expect you to be. But I’m hoping the next time we see her, you’ll be more open. She’s not the same pony she was when we first met.”

“Sure, sure,” she said, her voice taking on a sharper tone. “So tell me, are we havin’ Flim an’ Flam fer tea an’ cookies when we hit Vanhoover?”

“Applejack...”

“...Sorry.” It was mumbled, to the point that Twilight had to strain her ears to hear her. “But when yer first impression of somepony is humiliatin’ ya, yer not too keen on makin’ friends...”

“I know, but I think you’ll like her if you just talked. You know, you didn’t like Rarity when we first met.”

“...Why do you like Trixie so much?”

Twilight blinked. “What do you mean? I’m just trying to be a friend.”

“Ya seemed to be gettin’ close to her.”

“I was... wait.” Her eyes widened. “Are you jealous?”

Applejack’s eyes widened. Two thoughts ran across her mind: She’s onta ya and Yer a bad liar, end this quick.

“Why that’s plum crazy Twi, I ain’t ever heard of somethin’ so ridiculous, look I’m tired, think I’ll sprint ta the hotel an’ go ta sleep, see ya!”

And she shot like a rocket. She bumped into every other pony on the street who, in true Manehattan fashion, didn’t even look up from their newspapers.

“Good goin’, AJ, now she’s gunna find out. Nice goin’, you dumb hick.”

“What was that about?”

The carriage ride had been quiet, with Blueblood refusing to answer any of Rarity’s questions. Now that they were back in the castle, she was demanding answers.

“Nevermind. Just go to bed.” And he walked away.

“Wait...” No response.

She groaned with exasperation as she made her way back to her room. She slammed the door and took a deep breath.

Then she pulled out the hoofkerchief and examined it. It was monogrammed with a family seal. It was nothing fancy, simply a golden shield with a navy blue B on it.

“What the...”

Jump to top

Vanhoover I

The chariot ride to Vanhoover was uncomfortably silent. Come to think of it, the whole trip had been that way. From the previous night, when she managed to beat Twilight to the hotel and feigned sleep, she had been deathly afraid of her questioning her about last night’s conversation. Thankfully, Twilight seemed to have forgotten about it.

She sighed. That was hoping too much. Twilight had her blind spots, but she was no fool, especially when it came to her friends. She was probably analyzing every word said, looking for some meaning, and she would find it sooner or later. She…

“We should be there pretty soon,” Twilight said. Applejack nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Huh? Uh… yeah, that’s great.”

Twilight looked at her. “Are… you okay?” She put a foreleg up her wife’s forehead. “You seem warm.”

“Uh, it’s nuthin’.” Nuthin’ but bein’ so close to ya... “Us, so what are we gunna be doin’?”

Twilight looked at Applejack, scanning her in a way she always did when she knew there was a problem to be solved. “Well, Flim and Flam are at their shop. We’ll go there while the guards check us in to our apartment. It should be pretty in and out, unless those two try anything.”

“Wouldn’t put it past them,” Applejack said, hiding her relief at the change in subject. “I might believe Trixie’s changed, but those two… there’s somethin’ about them. Like every time they shake yer hoof they’re stealing yer wallet.”

“Sociopaths can be like that,” Twilight said. “We can… only… hope…”

As the chariot landed, Twilight saw something that made her eyes widen in terror. A confused Applejack saw it seconds later, and was equally terrified.

They were landed outside Flim and Flam’s shop, about thirty feet away. But even from this distance, they could see it.

It was a banner. And on that banner was a long, blown up picture of Twilight and Applejack’s drunken wedding kiss.

Both of their jaws practically put holes in the chariot bottom. For a few seconds, all they could do was stare and stutter in horror.

“Um… this is your… stop,” one of the drivers said, clearly far too amused at the situation. “If you’ll… step off… we’ll go book our rooms.”

Too stunned to do anything but obey, the pair stepped from the chariot, nearly tripping over their hooves while doing so. Even after the chariot took off, they could do nothing but gape.

“…No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…”

And that was the only words from Twilight’s mouth as the pair ran toward the shop.

As they got closer, they saw Flim at the entrance, making his spiel. “Step right up, there’s no need to crowd. We have the best memorabilia celebrating the greatest wedding since the union of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance! Witness the never-before-seen union of two of the Elements of Harmony, a pair of star-crossed lovers whose wonderful affair has been kept under wraps, until now! Step in, and my brother Flam will be happy to sell you everything you need to mark this momentous occasion!”

“Look, there they are!”

The voice in the crowd got everypony’s attention. They turned to see the still-shocked couple.

“And here they are, the two whose love is an inspiration for us all! Give them a...”

And then Twilight’s magic surrounded around Flim's throat, tightening it in a rare show of violence for the pony. "You. Inside. We need to have a word."

"Of course, of course," Flim managed to get out, still sounding cheerful despite his restricted windpipe. "Don't worry… folks, I'll be right back."

Flim was dragged inside, where several ponies already browsing the aisles, where such treasures awaited as the copies of the same books that Twilight browsed when she started as Celestia's student ("Selling outdated textbooks. Blasphemy!"), gold imitation bands of their wedding rings, and photos of their kiss. Flam was working the cash registers, eagerly stuffing bits into the drawer.

"Don't crowd, don't crowd… why, as I live and breathe, if it isn't the happy couple themselves. Everypony, give them…"

Flam soon suffered the same grip as his brother. "In the back," Twilight said bluntly.

"Sure, sure. Silver Shill, run the register, would ya?"

A small pony that neither Twilight nor Applejack had noticed before stopped sweeping. He went over to the register just as his bosses were dragged into the back room.

The several boxes of waiting-to-be-stocked merchandise and order forms for various companies to make some form of trinket weren't as flashy as outside, thankfully. Both twins were deposited on the ground.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" Twilight demanded. Applejack had not seen her this angry since she had reached her wits end about Pinkie Sense. "That is supposed to be classified information!"

"Is it?" Flim said. He had apparently gone to smug school with Blueblood. "We just overheard some guards laughing about it. Apparently they aren't very good at keeping secrets."

"Besides, what's there to be embarrassed about? We haven't told anypony that it was an… accident, shall we say," Flam said.

Flim shook his head. "But that could change. It could get out if we were, say, shut down unexpectedly. There'd be questions as to why you two wanted to keep things quiet."

"Oh, imagine the Princess, dying of shame. Imagine the Prince and Princess of the Crystal Empire. After the black mark they got from the invasion, I wonder if he could stand the disgrace."

The twins's words sent Twilight from anger to horror. Her mouth hung open as she tried to find the words. "I… I…"

Applejack, however, was even more angry. "You snakes."

"Sticks and stones," Flim shrugged. "I don't know why you're mad. Everypony is adoring you."

"And what happens when we annul th' weddin'?"

"We're really more ‘in the now’ kinds of ponies," Flam said.

"You can't get away with this. Ain't there any likeness rights? Any invasion of privacy laws?"

"Not for you," Flim said, levitating a lawbook over to him. "According to the law, any important part of the Equestrian government forfeits his or her privacy interests in personal matters as long as they are important to the government. When you received the Elements, you became an important branch of the military, and forfeited all privacy rights therein."

“What? How could th’ Princess allow somethin’ like that?”

Twilight knew. It was a tactic. Whenever they needed to get the press out of important affairs, the highest nobles would make an idiot out of themselves for a distraction. But now…

“Well, if that’s all, we really need to get back to...”

“Not so fast,” Twilight said. “You might be off the hook for this, but we came to question you for another reason.”

“Oh, and what’s that?”

Twilight took a deep breath. “First off, where were you on the night of the wedding? That would be about three nights ago.”

Both brothers looked at each other. “We were here,” Flam said, sounding calm. Flim, meanwhile, was starting to look frazzled.

“Doing what?”

“Um… we simply had some cider and were reading a few books… I think. Who remembers every little thing they’ve done?”

“Do you have anypony who can account for all this?”

“Now, hold on,” Flim said, “Why are we being asked these questions? I think we deserve a lawyer!”

“Oh, that’s rich, you two whinin’ ‘bout bein’ pressured,” Applejack said. “Just tell us.”

“Absolutely not,” Flim said. “We refuse. It’s our right!”

At that, Twilight looked immensely happy. “No it’s not. Not in this case.” Now she picked up the law book. “There’s a hundreds-of-years-old law that states if it’s a matter of national security, we don’t need a warrant, a lawyer, or even to tell you anything about what you’re being questioned about. Me and Applejack, whom you just acknowledged were two important members of the government, were used and manipulated. So refuse at your own risk. You’ll be interrogated by royal guards instead, and there’s a prison sentence for obstructing justice.”

“You don’t scare us,” Flam said. “We know it’s law that everypony gets due process before too long. We could beat every charge you give us.”

“Maybe. But you have done a lot of terrible things. Every member of the government wants to put you away. Are you sure you want to go up against them? And even if you do manage to get out, a subject like this is bound to make national headlines. That means the public will hear of you. You won’t be able to get away with your typical cons anymore. So, are you going to cooperate, or are we going to have to get a bit more extreme?”

The brothers looked at each other in pure shock. Twilight and Applejack just gave an evil smile.

“S-Silver Shill could vouch for us…”

Rarity usually made it a point to get at least eight hours of sleep a night unless she absolutely had to fill a big order. Right now, however, there were more important things than sleep.

She set her alarm for three hours ahead of schedule in order to have the time. She was grateful Blueblood had only restricted her to the castle, since it meant a visit to the Royal Library was allowed.

The librarian, an aged old colt with a beard to rival Star Swirl’s, hefted a book marked in a certain location over to her. “Here you are. I’m afraid this is everything we have on it.”

“Thank you,” she said, flipping it open.

What she saw filled her with shock.

It was labeled, “The Crest of Blueblood.”

She blinked. That wasn’t right. Back in the days when she fawned over him, she had read that the Blueblood crest was a gold shield with a red B, and garnished with so many tacky decorations that it hurt to look at.

She saw the description. “This shield was used by the Blueblood family until 1990 PD. It’s reason for the change has been restricted by Royal Decree…”

Rarity was perplexed again. That was the only page on the subject, the next page moved onto the Brand family.

“Are you sure this is everything?” She caught the librarian as he passed by.

“Oh yes…” Then, after a pause. “Well, it’s everything I’m allowed to show you. There might be more in the StarScribe wing, but that’s forbidden for civilians.”

“I see… well, no matter. Thank you, sir.”

As Rarity left, she thought of her conclusion. With this, and the way Blueblood acted toward his old seal and his parents, it was clear there had been a falling out with his family. The only question was what she was going to do about it.

She stopped dead.

What she was going to do about it? Why should she care? Blueblood is a brute. She should just focus on getting out of her obligation. Let Blueblood sort out his own affairs.

She started walking again. By the time she got out of the library, she was thinking of what to say when she confronted him.

It had been a long interview process. Twilight had made a list of every question she could think of, and every question was told in every wording she could think of, to stop the brothers from finding loopholes out of her questions.

“Very good, we’re done with our questions.”

“Excellent,” Flim said, suddenly pushing the two mares. “Now, if you’ll be so kind, we have a business to run.”

Suddenly, Flim hit an invisible wall.

“We’re done with questions,” Twilight said. “We’re not done with our investigation. I need to see all your business paperwork.

At that, both brothers tensed up. “Wh-why would you need to see that?”

“Well, you have weak alibis, but a search of your store and a look through your business might turn up something. That comes up clean, you’re free to go. Now, go on, see to your customers.”

The two brothers looked at each other. Slowly, they turned and moved out of the room.

“Twi, what exactly are we lookin’ for?”

Twilight pulled a piece of paper out of her saddlebag and handed it to her. On it were several long words she didn’t recognize.

“These are the materials that are probably in the rings. Start looking to see if they ordered these supplies. Let’s get to it, we only have one day to look through everything.”

Applejack took the list and went to one of the boxes, just missing Flim looking back in with a scowl on his face.

Jump to top

Vanhoover II

"How do ya do it, Twi?" Applejack muttered. "You manage to sift through things like this ev'ry day since you were a filly. I can't stand this from day one."

Twilight shrugged. "I guess I just have an eye for detail," she said. "Have you found anything?"

The cowpony shook her head. "Not a thing. At least, I don't think so. There was nuthin' on yer list that was in their order forms, and there was nuthin' on them I couldn't tell what it was."

"Well, it looks like this might be another dead end. Still, we need to be thorough. Keep it up, we're more than halfway done."

Applejack nodded and kept leafing through the sales orders, not noticing Flim once again sticking his head in.

Not they she hadn't noticed him and his brother looking in before. Twilight had as well, leading both of them to suspect they were up to something.

Both of them were nervous by this point. They had long since closed the shop, doing it as soon as they could without alerting their unwanted guests. Now they were pacing in the front room.

"What are we going to do? They're going to find it eventually and put two and two together!”

“Easy, there,” Flam said, calming his brother, though his voice was swaying as well. “Let’s not be hasty. That’s what cost us in Ponyville.” He took a deep breath. “Twilight Sparkle might be a legendarily studious pony, but even she can miss things. We don’t even know if she’ll notice anything. Or maybe Applejack will be the one to see it and not look inside.”

Flim took a few deep breaths. “Well… what if they do? We can’t take them both on…”

“Oh yes we can,” Flam said calmly.

“But… they’ve taken on armies…”

“Dear brother, they lost to the changelings,” he said. “Trust me. If it comes down to it, we’ll be able to handle it.”

Hours passed with nothing being found. Flim and Flam, acting unusually magnanimously, sent Silver Shill out for pizza. The two continued working between bites. As much as Applejack hated it, she wanted this task done today. There was little that could be worse than letting whoever did this get away.

Still, the cowpony was getting tired. Not being up and about was making her lethargic, and having a full belly was making her feel sleepy. But she needed to stay awake. Twilight was counting on her, she needed to…

…

“APPLEJACK!”

The Earth Pony jumped, her eyes wide open. “Huh? Sorry, Twi, I…”

Twilight was nowhere in sight. She wasn’t even in Flim and Flam’s shop.

She was dreaming again. And Luna was in front of her, looking somewhat disappointed.

“Falling asleep in enemy territory is foalish,” the Princess of the Night stated.

“It ain’t like Flim n’ Flam are killers or nothin’,” Applejack mumbled, a little embarrassed. “Now if it were Trixie, maybe…”

“Those two would steal Twilight Sparkle’s horn off the top of her head if they could get away with it. You’re lucky she’s still awake.”

Applejack kicked at the ground a bit, feeling like she was a filly getting scolded by Granny Smith. “Well… look, is there any particular reason you’re here? I don’t suppose you could tell us that you found out anythin’?”

“Well, I was going to tell you that Flim and Flam ‘spilled the beans’, I suppose the expression is, but I believe you’ve discovered that for yourselves.”

Applejack’s ears drooped. “H-how far has it spread?”

“I doubt there’s a single creature in Canterlot or Ponyville who doesn’t already know about the wedding.” Despite the sympathetic tone, Luna’s face gave away her amusement. “And it’s spreading quickly. I say that it should be in the Crystal Empire by tomorrow night.”

Applejack’s face turned red. “Figures. How are we gonna get that separation without everything comin’ out?”

“I would not worry,” Luna said, actually sounding reassuring. “My sister tells me that stories like this come and go quickly. In a week it will be old news, and within another week we can pass the whole thing off as a hoax. All the two of you must do is watch what you say and do.”

“I… I suppose…” It would involve telling lies, something she wasn’t any good at, but it had to be done.

“Of course, there’s the easier option.”

The Earth Pony blinked. “Wha…”

“You could just stay married like I know you want to.”

Applejack’s face turned redder, anger mixed with her embarrassment. “I can’t… Not now…”

“Fine, whatever you claim,” Luna shrugged. “Now then, I think perhaps it’s time to wake up.”

Rarity finished her third dress. She had worried excessively about finishing the dresses she needed in time, but she was on autopilot now, and without her worry her subconscious was working uninterrupted.

She needed to be careful how she approached Blueblood with this.

Should she confront him directly? That would likely be a disaster. Try weedling something out of him? Doubtful that would work. Trying to outtalk a politician was a recipe for disaster. Maybe… maybe some champagne would loosen his lips.

She shook her head, silently scolding herself for that thought. Getting somepony drunk on purpose? That would be uncouth… but effective…

Then she shook her head again. If she got the answer out of him that way, he’d likely shut down against any further attempt to help him. A short-term gain would be a long-term loss. And it seemed doubtful that Blueblood would get drunk again on accident, given the restrictions Celestia had put onto him. Add to that she couldn’t risk being caught disobeying Celestia’s instructions, given how much trouble she was already in.

Then what? What could she do? What could she say?

The door opening silenced her thoughts. Quickly, she tried to remember if she had hidden the crest she had stolen. She had, thankfully.

“I came by to make sure you were keeping up with your job,” Blueblood said.

Rarity was silent. The prince was… different today. There was none of his playfulness, to use a generous term. His voice was flat, all business, something she thought would sound more in place on a prince, but not on Blueblood.

“Why yes… much better than I have been doing, I must say. If this keeps up, I should be finished with the last of the dresses by tomorrow evening.”

“That’s… excellent.” Again, no emotion.

“I’m going to need some more gems for the next design. It’s one from the line that Sapphire Shores is modeling for, and she loves her gems, so I wanted to add a few more to the headdress and…”

“You went to the library this morning.”

Silence.

“You’ve… you’ve heard about that?”

“Honestly, you’re a prisoner, remember? I have guards watching you. Let me guess, you went looking into the crest after last night?”

Rarity felt herself sweat. “Wow… you are good.”

Blueblood, normally not one to pass up a chance to have his ego stroked, just looked at her. “Look, I know you think you’re going to help me… but you’re not. There’s nothing you can say that Auntie Celestia, or Twilight, or Moondancer hadn’t already tried saying to me.”

Now Rarity was just shocked. Blueblood being this direct about it was the last thing she expected.

“Well… I thought maybe…”

“Why do you care anyway?” It wasn’t said angrily, like Rarity expected, only flatly. “You don’t even like me.”

“I suppose… it’s because I didn’t get the Element of Generosity by only being generous to those I liked.”

That sentence hung in the air.

“Just… be ready for dinner tonight.” He trotted out. “And… I asked the Royal Chef to cook you something special for lunch.”

Applejack’s eyes fluttered open. The back of her head was on something soft, and warm… and moving.

“You’re awake.”

Applejack bolted up. “Ah, Twi, I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” She turned her face away, hoping that Twilight wouldn’t see her blush.

“Relax, you got enough done awake. We’re almost done anyway, there’s only another stack left.”

“Uh, then let me handle it,” Applejack said quickly. “You’ve done plenty.”

“I can...”

“I know ya can,” the Earth Pony said, hurrying to snatch the papers out of Twilight’s grip (forgetting, as she often did, that she could grip it with her magic). “I just don’t wanna make you do everything.”

“Applejack, it’s fine, I don’t…”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Twi. I ain’t gonna shirk my share of the work.” Before the Unicorn could object further, Applejack slammed the orders down on a nearby table and began sifting through them.

Twilight sighed, but smiled just the same. “As stubborn as ever, aren’t you?”

Applejack mumbled something under her breath that sounded like a defense.

“Don’t feel embarrassed. I actually admire that about you.”

Now Applejack was embarrassed. “Huh?”

“When I was a filly attending Princess Celestia’s school, I was so excited to learn. But the work was harder than I expected. Still, I really wanted to learn magic, so I kept pushing and got straight As, and I did it all while taking care of Spike. So I was confused when so many of my classmates left in the first two years.

“When I asked them, they said it was too hard. I never got that, at first. It was weird to me that somepony would just give up because it got hard. I found out later that not everypony thinks like me.

“You did. Whenever I see you work like that, it reminds me that you know something that’s so obvious, but not a lot of ponies get: if you want something, you have to keep working at it, even if it gets hard. I used to think everypony thought that way. I… I guess it was good seeing that again.”

Applejack blinked. “Wha… Twi, you were the one tellin’ me ‘ta slow down durin’ Applebuck season.”

Twilight shook her head. “I admire that you don’t give up, but I don’t like it when you try to go it alone. Whenever I needed help, I asked Princess Celestia, or Moondancer if they could lend me.”

“...Moondancer?”

“Spike’s babysitter when I had too much work. We were kind of friends. The point is, I like how stubborn you are, but I’m going to call you out when it’s a problem.”

Applejack just smiled. Now it was a fond memory. “And… I wanna thank you for that. That was the day I decided I wanted you as part of my family… er, that is, to make ya an honorary Apple.”

Now Twilight was confused. “Why?”

“Twi, it’s easy to tell somepony you don’t like when they’re bein’ an idiot. A friend… not so much. You came in an’ gave gave me a good swift kick in the flank when I needed. I respect that, Twi. A real friend…”

She had been focusing on Twilight and hadn't been paying the greatest deal of attention to the papers in front of her. Which is why her hoof managed to knock a small packet onto the floor. One it hit the ground, it spilled out photographs of the wedding.

"Well, I guess we stumbled upon the photos," Twilight said after an awkward silence. She used her magic to levitate them up, cringing at the drunken kiss. "Man, I really hope Mom and Dad don't get… too… what the?"

"What's wrong, Twi?"

"Look at this."

She gave the picture to Applejack, and the Earth Pony saw the problem. Instead of the wedding, it was the scene from just two months ago, with the Elements of Harmony surrounding Discord.

"What the… why would they have this?"

"It's not just that. Look, here's a show of the Wonderbolt Academy when Lightning Dust got kicked out… here's us fighting that giant timberwolf outside the Everfree Forest when Spike decided he owed you a life debt…”

"Then… Flim an' Flam have been spying on us! Those varmints!" Applejack made a move to the door. "I'm gonna give those two a piece o' my…"

She stopped then the door smacked her in the nose. Falling back, she rubbed her muzzle. "What?" She worked the doorknob. "It won't open!"

Twilight reached for the door with her magic. Only to step back herself. "There's magic," she said. Her eyes widened. "Flim and Flam enchanted the door. We're locked in!"

Author's Note

I apologize for this being so late. I had a nightmare's amount of writer's block. The good news is that regular updates resume now. Thank you and have a good day.

Yes, I took the power differences into account. Wait until next update.

Jump to top

Vanhoover III

Applejack stood in shock for a few moments… and then burst out laughing. “They put a spell to lock us in? On you?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty basic… I can get rid of this is no time. Just give me half a minute and I can undo it.”

“Heh… sounds good ta me. Them… them varmints… won’t know…”

The sound of Applejack hitting the floor was enough to break Twilight’s concentration. She looked over to her wife, now on her side with her eyes closed.

“Applejack? Applejack!” She ran over to her, carefully rolling her onto her back. Her cheek was a bit swollen from where she had been hit, but there wasn’t pain in her face, or at least it wasn’t the most noticeable emotion. Applejack looked like she had attempted another Applebuck season on her own.

“Mmm… soup’s on, ev’rypony…”

“Applejack, stay focused!”

“Mmm… I’m… sleepy…”

Twilight took a few deep breaths. Her mind raced for a few moments, until she hit the spell she needed.

Her horn lit up as she trailed it over Applejack’s body. “Come on, come on…”

Twilight had never performed this spell on an actual live pony before, and practicing it on a cadaver had been one of the most unpleasant bits of teaching Celestia had given her. But as bad as it was, seeing a pony’s insides while they were still moving was ten times worse. Still, her mind was focused enough on her duties that it found what it was looking for instantly.

The foreign substance. A lot of it, seeping in Applejack’s cardiovascular system, and going in and out of her lungs.

She stopped immediately. First she cast an air bubble over her own head, then did the same to Applejack. Then, she lit up her horn again. As she suspected, it was all over the room. A spell designed to put ponies to sleep, one that would take a while to somepony as magically inclined as Twilight, but would come easier to an Earth Pony, even one as strong as Applejack.

Gritting her teeth, she floated Applejack up and placed her on her back. She was a bit of a load, but she needed all her magic focused.

Ponies heard the explosion, of course, but with no noticeable damage anywhere they had no clue where to look. They all began panicking until a tall Unicorn reminded folks that a movie theatre was nearby, likely playing a movie a little too loud. Bystander syndrome set in quickly enough, and everypony returned to their duties.

Inside, Twilight walked through the now destroyed wall, carefully levitating Applejack off her back. After sweeping a counter clean she laid her wife on top of it. Almost immediately she began coughing. She opened her eyes.

“Twi? Wha happened? Did Pinkie slip us sleepin’ powder again?”

“No, Flim and Flam did,” she said. She lit up her horn. “Flim? Flam? Where are you two?” She trotted around the store. “You two are in a lot of trouble!”

As she spoke, a purple mist began to appear. It was simply there one moment, then was moving toward the door.

“Looks like they left… and thankfully, not too long ago. We can still catch them if we hurry. Are you okay to run?”

Grinning, Applejack rose to her hooves. “You know it, sugarcube.”

The Apple family dining room was looking like it did on Hearth’s Warming Day, at least in the number of tables. The main table was set up with Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash occupying Apple Bloom and Applejack’s usual spot, while the kids table was dragged out to make room for Spike and the five fillies, all of home were sporting bruises and blisters from the day’s activities, not that any of them seemed to mind.

As the group was deciding what to do tomorrow, the adults were chatting. Big Mac was glancing over at Pinkie every few minutes, but Pinkie seemed to have dropped her fancies… almost.

“See, now they’re at the relationship building part of the story, where they all become good friends and Spike sees something good in each of them so the final choice will be that much more difficult!”

…

“Pinkie, life isn’t a romance movie,” Rainbow Dash said in a flat tone.

“It’s sure looking like one lately,” Pinkie said.

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth… and then closed it. “Yeah, I guess.”

Granny couldn’t help but laugh. “And here I thought it’d be borin’ with Applejack outta town!”

Fluttershy giggled as she looked over at the children. “It’s nice to see Spike playing with ponies his own age. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that.”

“Yeah, Twilight does work him pretty hard,” Rainbow Dash said. Then she thought a bit. “How old is Spike anyway? I never see him in school.”

“I think Twilight said he was about twelve…” Fluttershy said, looking over at the group. “But he’s not even a year old in dragon years…”

“Ah, what’s dragon years matter here?” Granny Smith said. “Why, I betcha he don’t leave for…”

The conversation was cut off by Pinkie suddenly shaking all over, to the point where her chair rattled along with her, the legs hitting the floor in several little hops.

“Pinkie…”

“I…” Pinkie was actually speaking rather slowly, “my Pinkie Sense went off.”

“With what? A doozy?”

“Yeah, something’s about to happen…”

“Whatever it is, we can handle it,” Rainbow Dash said. She lifted her cider mug up and began to drink.

“Rainbow,” Fluttershy said, still looking at the other table, “how many foals do you think we should have?”

Luckily, Pinkie had an umbrella ready before Rainbow Dash spit all over her.

“Come on, hurry,” Flim said, cracking his whip. “Hurry, before they catch up!”

Silver Shill breathed heavily. “You know, we could go faster if one of you helped with the pulling…”

“We don’t pay you to complain,” Flim said from up in the carriage seat. “Just go!”

“Hold it, you two!”

The twins jumped and looked behind them. Twilight and Applejack were coming up to them fast.

“Quick, Shill, come on, faster!”

In a panic, Shill doubled his speed, pulling with all his might and vigor. It would have been impressive, if he wasn’t simply a small Earth Pony pulling a large carriage filled with Flim and Flam’s valuables.

“Okay, seriously?” Twilight said, barely trotting next to the carriage. “What were you expecting was going to happen? Did you really think you could trap me?”

The two brothers looked at each other.

“Well, you see... uh... smokescreen!”

The flash was down before anypony could do anything. However, that did not mean Twilight and Applejack were vexed for long. Twilight instantly summoned up the wind necessary to clear the area.

“Where’d those varmints…”

“There,” she said, pointing down the street. “Hurry!”

The pair ran off in their direction, shouting thief.

Silver Shill coughed up the last of the smoke that had entered his lungs. Then, he looked at the retreating figures in the distance.

He stood awkwardly for a few minutes. Then, he threw his yoke off and walked away.

Then he came back, grabbed two of the abandoned saddlebags full of bits that the pair had abandoned, and left for real.

“Stop them! Thieves!”

Twilight’s cries were heard, but largely fell victim to the bystander effect, as several ponies watched the scene in awe but didn’t intervene.

Flim and Flam, in their years of grifting and scamming, had acquired good endurance for running. Applejack could keep up, but Twilight, used to sitting in the library and quick sprints at best, was already running out of breath. Taking heavy gasps, she began to slow down.

“Twi?”

“Keep going…” she took a few breaths. “Just keep going. I’ll be fine.”

“Gotcha Twi,” she said, pulling out her second wind. Soon she was gone too.

Taking a deep breath, Twilight lit up her horn for a signal. If she couldn’t catch up, then calling backup was the next best thing.

Flim and Flam were at top speed when they found a cab to pile in. “Take us to the outskirts of town, and hurry,” Flim said.

Without another word, the cab took off. However, Applejack was still keeping speed. “Hold on! Hold on!” she yelled. She was fast, but she knew somepony who did nothing but pull ponies around was going to be faster. And indeed, it was just inching ahead.

Flim looked back, smiling as Applejack slowly got farther away. “We did it! We lost her!”

And then the cart stopped.

Flim and Flam blinked. “What the… why did we stop?” Flim said.

“Uh, red light?” the driver said, confused. “Like we usually get.”

“We’ll pay you double to ignore them.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” the driver said. “That’s not worth the risk to my job or my safety.”

“Triple your pay!”

“...Seriously? I’m not stupid.”

“How much money!”

“Uh, Flam, I think we left all our bits in the other carriage.”

Before they knew it, the twins were on the curb, the carriage going off, with Applejack right beside them.

“Alright, look you two,” Applejack said. “There ain’t anyway yer gettin’ outta this one. Just tell us what you know.”

“No way!” Flim said. “It’s us versus you! There’s no way…”

“Eh hem.”

The two brothers stopped. They turned to see Twilight with the two pegasus guards that she brought.

“…I think we can work something out,” Flim said.

Angel grinned as he nicked some of Fluttershy’s lipstick. He hopped up to wear Rainbow Dash’s flight suit was sitting.

He was stopped by Owlowiscious swooping in and snatching the tube from his paw. Over Angel’s indigent shout, he dropped it back on Fluttershy’s dresser.

<…I don’t get it.>

The owl rolled his eyes.

Since the Creator had a sense of humor, the door opened at that moment.

“Rainbow! Don’t you think having children would be good for us?”

“We already have Scootaloo! She already looks up to both of us, isn’t that enough?”

“Scootaloo’s not our foal. Come on, we could have a little one to mold into an upstanding pony.”

“No way! Do you know the things Twilight would have to do to let us make a foal? I’m not adding anything to my anatomy!”

“…What? Rainbow I was just thinking about adopting.”

“…Oh.”

"Why was something like that the first thing you thought of?"

"…All those Daring Do fanfictions… never mind, we don't really need kids."

"But I want kids! Are you saying you won't give them to me?"

"I… I hadn't really thought about it…"

"Why don't we go upstairs... we really need to talk about this."

“What? But... we just started dating? Do we really need to do this now?”

“Well, is there any point in us dating if we’re going to break up later?”

As the two Pegasi flew upstairs, Angel rubbed his paws together.

Owlowiscious groaned.

"So… you didn't actually commission those pictures?"

Flim and Flam hung their heads. They were finally in a police station, something half the authority figures in Equestria wanted to see, and there didn't look like any way out.

"They were delivered to us from an anonymous source," Flam said. "We don't know who took them or why they sent them. It just came with a note saying it thought we could use them."

"So why'd you try to run?" the guard asked.

"Well… we started getting photos of… of Twilight Sparkle in secret proceedings. Day Court and stuff like that. We knew those were illegal. We destroyed them, but since she came to question us we figured she was already suspicious."

As the guard wrote the answers in their notebooks, Twilight and Applejack watched on the other side of the one way mirror.

"This is great," Applejack said, stopping just short of a "yee-haw". "Flim and Flam aren't getting out of this one. They're ending up in jail for sure."

"Not for long, I'm afraid," one of the officers said.

The pair look at him. "Huh? Why not?"

"The charges against them are pretty weak. Mostly it's not reporting the photographs and resisting arrest. And given that they mostly resisted what amounts to a citizen's arrest, that's not much."

"Wha? But… they attacked us."

"Using non-lethal and relatively non-damaging means. Altogether, the most we can hold them is a year, and given how good they are in court it likely won't be that long."

"Wha? But… but…"

Applejack was silenced by Twilight putting a hoof on her shoulder. "Let it go, AJ. We have more important things to worry about."

"But… they're just gonna get out an' scam again."

"And there are people dedicated to stopping them. They can deal with them. Our time is better spent looking for the one behind the wedding. If they have all these resources then it's officially time to start worrying."

"I… I guess."

"Good. Now let's just get to the hotel room. I don't think he's going to tell us anything else."

Silver Shill smiled happily as he signed the final papers.

"Alright Mr. Shill, it's your lucky day. Everything's in tip top order," the mare behind the desk said. "The property is now yours."

Shill grinned as he looked over the caravan. Nothing particularly big or fancy, but it was his. He spent the money, and he still had enough for goods and to hire somepony to pull it. And with Flim and Flam already paranoid of guards, they'd never report the money missing.

He hitched up and began to trot away. He'd get everything in the next town. Flim and Flam had dealt with a lot, but there was one thing they weren't prepared for: honest competition.

Author's Note

Ohh boy, this took forever. I must have written and rewritten this three times, because I couldn't get the tone right. The first version was way too dramatic. But now with this out of the way, maybe weekly updates will start again.

Jump to top

Trouble Brewing

Rarity hummed to herself as she sewed the final dress together. One might have thought she was happy, but those that knew her would identify it as simply a working habit. Music drowned out the world around her, and it helped her concentrate.

As she added the collar, the door to her workroom opened, and Prince Blueblood trotted in. His face was of firm defiance.

"Are you almost finished?"

"Yes."

Blueblood faltered. He had expected a dressing down for his curt reply; being a prince meant nothing to this mare, but he steeled himself and went on. "Good. We'll be leaving in the morning. And I don't want to hear another word about my personal affairs."

"You won't."

"I don't want to..." Blueblood trailed off as his brain registered Rarity's words. He looked at her, watching as she continued her work as if her jailer wasn't in the room with her. "You... aren't? You really are going to just drop it?"

At that, Rarity truly did stop, though she still didn't look at him. After a moment, she spoke. "I... I let the gossip in me get out. For that, I truly am sorry. You're right, it's really none of my business. I'm just going to do as I'm told and get this over with."

Blueblood blinked. Of all the reactions she had been expecting, this was the absolute last one. “Really? That’s it?”

She nodded. “Unless you ask me for help, yes. Now then, if you don’t mind, I have so much to do. If there’s nothing else, I’d like to get back to work.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“...Sure. Um... keep up the work.” Blueblood turned to go. “Oh, I almost forgot: no dinner together tonight. It’s unnecessary. Well, if you want to, I can arrange something.”

“Whatever you think is for the best,” Rarity said, turning back to her work.

Blueblood lingered a bit before he turned and trotted out of the room. As the door closed, she let out a breath. It was painful, seeing him go. He was somepony who was hiding something, somepony who needed help, and she was just walking away. But what could she do? He had made it clear he didn't want her help.

Sighing, she continued her work. It helped her think.

Blueblood didn't even realize he was back into his office until he was sitting behind his desk. He was disappointed. Of course he was. He loved shutting ponies down. Whether they be politicians who dismissed him as a boorish drunk, or mares who thought they'd be the ones to tame him.

But Rarity hadn't been shut down, at least not by him. She had walked away before his chance came, a situation he wasn't used to. Either mares were too thick to give up, or they were decent enough not to try the fanfilly routine on him.

Then again, Rarity was a special case, wasn't she? She had been successfully chased off, only to have their paths cross again. He had hoped the hatred she had for him would keep her distance, but she had tried anyhow.

She was taking herself away. That only left...

He shuddered at the attempt to get his attention at the restaurant. They were trying again. Luckily, he wasn't going out for the next few days. Not until after Rarity left.

Blueblood couldn't help but cringe at that.

He reached for his scotch. He needed a drink.

The griffon embassy was not a welcoming place, but the ponies visiting were confident it would end well.

They had gotten their interview with Gilda, and despite being even less cooperative than the Flim Flam Brothers, they had gotten their questions answered. She had been on duty the last few weeks, with no time to pull off anything. A pony liaison managed to confirm her story. Another dead end.

They gave Gilda a pleasant goodbye. Gilda told them where they could stick their goodbyes before storming off. The ponies didn't fire back.

"Well, that was pleasant," Applejack muttered as the pair left the embassy. "We've been all over Equestria and accomplished nothing."

"Don't remind me," Twilight said. "This means it has to be Chrysalis, and there's no way we can even find her." Then, after a pause, said. "So we might as well enjoy our night. How about dinner?"

Applejack nearly had a heart attack. "D-Do somethin'? Like a date?"

Twilight blinked. "Um... not really. We always do stuff together. It's just right now we'll do it without the others."

Applejack blushed. "Uh, right. Heh. Sorry, Twi. Guess everythin's gettin' to me."

Twilight smiled. "I don't blame you. My knees are still shaking from what my family must be thinking right now."

Applejack was confused for a moment, but she understood. Thanks to Flim and Flam's antics, their relationship was all over Equestria. Likely Twilight's family had found out by now that they had a new in-law.

"I bet Mom's freaking out right now. And Dad... they're probably ashamed."

"Twi, don't be like that," Applejack said. She put a foreleg around her friend and pulled her close. "You always got a way of makin' things sound worse than they really are. I'm sure yer parents an' Shiny won't think anything less of ya. You just made a mistake. I'm sure they aren't doin' anythin' less than wantin' to meet me." Applejack stopped,. then shuddered. "I wonder what they'll think of me."

"Relax, Applejack. I'm sure my family will love you."

Twilight Velvet and Night Light were dealing with conflicting emotions. They had heard that their daughter had gotten married, a ridiculous notion that simply had to be a tabloid rumor. However almost immediately after they decided this a chariot arrived to summon them to the palace, saying that the Princesses had something to discuss with them.

After spending the entire ride there trying to convince themselves it was a coincidence, they had arrived at the Palace only to be brought not to the throne room, but to Princess Celestia's private chambers.

They had simply been shown a video. Throughout it, thoughts of horror, disgust, anger, and shock passed through them at the sight they were seeing. However, eventually, one emotion won out.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

The pair hit the floor laughing, trying to get air in their lungs. Celestia, used to this routine by now, simply waited for them to finish.

After the final chuckles came out, Twilight Velvet turned serious. "How could you not tell us about this?"

"I assumed Twilight would tell you when she was ready," the Princess answered. "She's a grown mare, you know. She doesn't need you constantly watching over her."

"Still, you don't think we deserved to know this?"

"Whether you did or didn't, this is Twilight's business... and mine, since I'm running damage control."

"Damage control?" Velvet demanded.

Night Light spoke up. "What damage control?"

Celestia poured tea for her two guests. "The fact that they got married drunk can't be allowed to get out," she said, offering the cups. "Twilight and Applejack are public figures, and this could be a blow to our credibility. So I've devised a cover story. For the next few weeks, we'll be telling everypony they simply dated and married in secret because they wanted to keep everything private."

"And then what?" Velvet hadn't taken the cup, though her husband had. "What's going to happen when she gets this annulled?"

"Then we hold a public wedding for them. We’ll claim it’s something ceremonial for the citizens to celebrate.”

“And what will that accomplish?”

Celestia looked at Twilight Velvet. “If you’ll let me finish, I’ll tell you.” Celestia took a sip while Velvet gave an annoyed growl. “After another week, we’ll announce that the whole thing was a ruse, an attempt to lure the Changelings out by staging another Royal Wedding. We’ll act sad that it failed.”

Velvet bristled. “And what if the Changelings do attack the wedding?”

“Then a plan succeeds that we never even intended.” Celestia took a sip.

“But you’ll be putting our daughter in danger!”

“As opposed to anything else?” Celestia said. “Your daughter is a Bearer of an Element of Harmony. She’s in danger by default.”

“And whose fault is that?”

Night Light tensed up. While he was angry at Celestia for what had happened, yelling at the Princess seemed to be a recipe for disaster. “Um, dear...”

“You told us you’d be making Twilight your student, not a soldier!”

“And why do you think I wanted a pony with that much raw power? Do you really think I’d have her simply studying all day?"

"Yes! We wanted her to be a great scholar! Not risking her life on your orders!"

"But you're fine with your son doing so?"

"Shiny knew what he was signing on for!"

"Dear?"

Finally Night Light's voice carried over the mares that were just seconds from a shouting match. He squeaked a bit at both looking at him, but he went on. "Perhaps we should be asking if Twilight knew what she was getting into?"

Velvet glared at her husband, but eventually turned back to Celestia and remained silent. The princess took it as an invitation to speak.

"I never forced your daughter into anything. I might have set her on a path, but she made the decision to stand up to NightMare Moon, and she has never hesitated when I've asked her to do anything else. I would let your daughter walk away from everything if she chose, but I know she won't.

"And may I remind you, your daughter made the decision to get drunk. Actions have consequences, and we can only thank the Creator that we can turn this to our advantage."

"...Twilight never even drank before..." Velvet mumbled.

Celestia chuckled. "Indeed. That's why I'm not too disappointed in her. The fact that she stayed sober throughout her studies is a miracle. You should be proud."

Velvet gave a smile. "I am."

Applejack squirmed, feeling uncomfortable. Twilight had decided a fancy meal at the town's fanciest restaurant was a good way to celebrate, which meant a fancy dress and no hat, which made her uncomfortable enough. But the fact that Twilight was across from her, looking absolutely stunning, was too much.

Twilight has packed formal wear in what Applejack first credited to her tendency to over prepare, but what she now realized was simply preparing for the possibility of eating at a nice restaurant in one of three big cities.

Applejack could tell the food was good even as she barely tasted it. Made it a shame it was being wasted on somepony who was currently incapable of enjoying it.

"I appreciate you coming here. I wanted to try this place. I know it's not your thing..."

Applejack waved a hoof. "Ain't no trouble, Twi. I owe you more than I can say..."

"You don't owe me..." Twilight began, but she trailed off. She knew it was pointless trying to tell Applejack that. She changed the subject. "Well... I'm not too fond of dressing up either."

"Really? But you're Princess Celestia's student."

"She doesn't like getting dressed up either," she said after taking a bite of salad. "Didn't you notice she was the only one not in a dress at the Grand Galloping Gala?"

Applejack blinked. "I guess I kinda figured she was regal enough already..."

Twilight shook her head. "You remember her saying she thought the Gala was boring? Well, when we were talking that night she told me the only keeps it up because it incapacitates a lot of social climbers."

The cowpony arched her head. "Come again?"

"There are several ponies who don't like Celestia's policies. Usually the elite. They always trying to get in Celestia's good graces because they think they can talk her into their way of thinking. So she holds the Gala as an event where she invites the best, which usually means the ones lobbying for change. As long as they think they can talk her into accepting it, it stops outward rebellion... usually."

"Wow... I never figured there was a lot of backhoofed work in bein' princess."

"That's the breaks." She took another bite. After she swallowed, she continued. "That's why I like Ponyville so much. Do you know why I never made friends in Canterlot?"

Applejack shook her head. "Never did figure. I woulda thought bein' Celestia's student woulda made you popular."

"It did... a little too popular. Everypony was trying to kiss up to me since they figured it would get them in with the princess, or wanted me to do their homework for them. When I refused, they started bullying me."

“...Twi, I had no idea.” She shifted a little. “You said you never had any friends before coming to Ponyville, but I thought you were just a bookworm.”

Twilight smiled. “Well... that was kind of it. Books don’t talk back. Of course, than can be a bad thing too...”

“You had Spike, right?”

Twilight poked her meal with her fork. “Well... to be honest, I don’t think I really had Spike until I moved here. I don’t think I ever really appreciated him until I came here.”

Applejack blinked. “What do you mean?”

"I was never unkind to him... don't get me wrong, I made sure he was taken care of. I read every child psychology book I could find and made the best decisions I thought would help him. But... before I came to Ponyville, he was more like a project. I don't think I realized how much I loved him before you girls came into my life."

"Aww, I think you're too hard for yourself. You're a great mama."

Twilight blushed. "I'm not his mother."

"Really? Could have fooled me. You're such a momma."

"N-no I'm not," she looked embarrassed.

"You are. That's why you're makin' Spike stay with my family. You want him to loosen up so he can grow up better."

Twilight fidgeted. "I... guess... maybe..."

"No maybes. 'Sides, Granny wants great gran'kids, so she'll be happy that we already have one lyin' around."

Twilight turned crimson, then started playing with her food again.

"Hey, come on, I was just teasin'."

Twilight was silent for a moment, but eventually she looked up. "I know. But... I worry about Spike. How... how he'll react if I ever do find somepony."

Applejack tilted her head a bit. "You afraid he'll be clingy?"

"Maybe a little. And what if whoever I find doesn't like him?"

"Who wouldn't like Spike? He's a good boy... not perfect, but honestly I wish Apple Bloom was half as well behaved."

"What? Apple Bloom is nice."

"She's nice, but she's got almost as much energy as Pinkie, and when she's hangin' around those friends of hers, you can hardly get them to sit still. Somethin' breaks nearly every place they try anythin'."

Twilight gave a small smile. “She’s just excited. Have you ever considered that maybe she needs to learn to set aside some time on something that would make her slow down? Maybe get her interested in a book program?”

“What’dya mean?”

“When I was in school, there was a reading program where we had to read a different book every week. Maybe having to sit down and work on something she enjoys will calm her down?”

“I dunno... did it work for Spike?”

Twilight got quiet. She pushed what little food was left on her plate around with her fork. “Spike didn’t need it. I think... I think he was too afraid to spend time away from me. He became my assistant because he was just happy being around me. And I let it happen for so long, he just...”

Applejack was silent for a moment. Then she reached across the table and slowly lifted Twilight’s chin with her hoof.

“I know how you feel. Me an’ Big Mac havin’ ta raise Apple Bloom after our parents died was hard. Sure, Granny Smith was there... but she’s kinda out of touch. And gettin’ on so she can’t keep up. We always worried we weren’t good enough, wishin’ Ma an’ Pa were there. I still worry. So does Big Mac, even though he never shows it. But so far, Apple Bloom hasn’t been killed or gotten arrested, an’ she pretty obedient, so I’d say we're doin’ good.

“Maybe we didn’t do the best. Maybe you didn’t either. But yer a great mama anyway. I’m sure Spike thinks so.”

Twilight blushed again.

Applejack, apparently realizing what she was doing, pulled away. “Um, well... things are gonna work out. I’m sure Spike is fine, and the only thing yer family is gonna do is laugh an’ move on.”

“Shiny, no!”

Cadance flew down the steps after he husband, who was still moving forward despite several crystal pony guards trying to stop him.

“Shiny, no! No! Please, put down the axe and listen to me.”

“Must... reach... Ponyville.”

“Shiny, come on! Applejack was one of my bridesmaids!”

“She got Twily drunk!”

“But...”

Shiny activated a shield around himself, knocking the guards away.

“Twily!” he yelled, racing to the train station.

Cadance hit her forehead with her hoof. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

"I feel so naked without my hat."

"...Applejack, we usually are naked."

"You know what I mean," the cowpony said. They were now walking through the streets, on there way back to their hotel room. "I wish you didn't make me leave it behind."

"I told you the restaurant didn't allow hats. You wouldn't be allowed to wear it anyway."

"I know but..."

A sudden blur stopped them. A Unicorn, looking dirty and messy was now in front of them. It took them a split second to realize he had come out of the allyway they were passing. His horn, pocking out of the hole in the baseball cap he wore backwards, was glowing, and his magic was holding a knife.

"All right, we'll start with all your bits. Fork 'em over!"

"It's not the same," Applejack muttered, throwing the cap back at the fallen mugger. He had had the misfortune of mugging two powerful ponies with different ideas of self-defense. So while Twilight instantly froze him in place, Applejack delivered a dark buck, leaving him with a broken muzzle and several missing teeth.

"I sent up a medical flare. An ambulance should come for him."

"Ya think we should stay until they get here?"

"I checked his vitals, he'll be fine. They'll be able to find us through my magic signature, and with his word against ours, we'll be believed."

"I guess," Applejack said. "But maybe we should wait an'... Twi?"

Twilight was stopped dead, her eyes wide.

"Twi... wha..."

Twilight moved again, toward a nearby newspaper stand. There she snatched a gossip rag off the stand and gaped at it. Then she opened it and flipped a few pages until she found what she was looking for.

"Aw, no, are we..." she began, but was cut off when Twilight shoved the paper in her face.

"Not that, look at the back-up story."

Applejack looked, and her mouth dropped. She vaguely heard the newspony say he wasn't running a library and Twilight paying a bit before turning back.

There was Rarity and Prince Blueblood, eating dinner together. And if that weren't enough, the headline read "Canterlot's Latest Celebrity Couple."

"What the... has Rare lost her mind?" Applejack said. "What's she thinkin', datin' that..."

"Don't you see?" Twilight said. "It's all coming together now. We're tricked into getting married. The next day Rarity packs up for Canterlot and starts dating somepony she can't stand. And it's somepony important."

"...I'm not sure what you're gettin' at."

"I theorized the Changelings were behind this, and this proves it! They were watching, waiting for us to get drunk. Then they take the opportunity to replace Rarity and force us into getting married. They're trying to set up another Royal Wedding! It would give them another chance at an invasion.

"Then, they have Rarity leave to go to Canterlot and seduce another important pony to replace him! Look, this says they'll be attending the Annual Manehatten Fashion Designer Showoff. I remember Rarity saying she wanted to go but didn't get an invite. Now she does. So many important ponies are going to be there, it would be easy for the Changelings to pick and choose who to replace!"

"That's crazy... but it makes so much sense!"

"I know. Now come on, we have to get to Manehatten. We'll make that Changeling tell us where the real Rarity is, even if we have to beat her to a pulp to do it!"

Jump to top

Chaos

While the Apples had many visitors, not many of them came in wielding large axes. Big MacIntosh took a step back, but eventually held his ground as the Unicorn stallion advanced on him.

“Where’s Applejack?”

“Who are you?” Big Mac demanded.

The question got its answer when Spike and the fillies, attracted by the noise, came around from the other side of the room.

"Shining Armor?"

The Unicorn smiled, the bloodlust actually leaving his voice and expression. "Hey, Spike. Do you know where your mother is?"

"Twilight's not my mom, and according to her last message, she's in Manehattan."

"Is Applejack with her?"

"Yep."

The anger returned. "Good. Then I can cut that farmpony up for defiling my sister!"

And then Big Mac roared. "Like hay you are!"

"And what are you going to do to stop me?"

"This!"

Big Mac lunged at Shining Armor, but the Unicorn showed more foresight and conjured up a shield that the Earth Pony struck. Still, as he slid down it he beat at the barrier with his hooves, determined to stop the pony within.

Shining Armor didn't give him the chance. Ignoring Apple Bloom's cry of "Kick his plot, Big Mac!", he undid the shield and ran back toward the chariot he had parked a hundred feet away. Big Mac gave chase, and while he was pretty fast, Shining Armor was in his seat and taking off before he could reach him.

"Dear, please, don't do this...”

“Twilight!”

As the chariot sped off, Big Mac began to chase after it, yelling profanities all the while. After a hundred feet, he stopped and fumed. He had to get to Manehattan, protect his sister...

Then he got an idea. In a hurry, he raced off.

The five fillies and Spike had watched the scene in silence. It was Diamond Tiara who broke the silence.

“Uh... aren’t you going to go with him?”

Apple Bloom looked at her rival. “Huh? Why?”

“Uh, don’t you want to stop him from hurting your sister?”

The young farmpony scoffed. “Please. My sister’s the strongest pony I know other than my brother, and with Twilight there I doubt he’ll get anywhere near her. Let’s just go swimmin’ in the lake.”

Rarity had never been more grateful to get to any destination than she had been that day. The ride from Canterlot to Manehattan had been an awkward one, with several bits of small talk that only left the rift between them even wider than when they had left.

True to his word, Blueblood had taken the bed and left her with the couch. However, much to her surprise he had promised he’d take the couch on night two. He had also, through much stuttering, tried to offer to share the bed, but it was so awkward he couldn’t finish.

It was surreal. As horrid as Blueblood had been, he was always a smooth talker and completely sure of himself. This stuttering, awkward mess was kind of unnerving.

Deciding she needed time apart from Blueblood, she opted to take a walk. Some time alone would do her good. Well, not completely alone. Two stallions were shadowing her at all times, no doubt Royal Guards in disguise, but they wouldn’t interfere with her thinking.

Blueblood was on edge, no doubt about it. Rarity had been content to let the matter drop, but it had so easily set him off. She should do something, right? It would be intrusive, but Blueblood needed it.

Then again, Celestia and the others in the Palace had made an effort to get through to him and failed. They obviously knew him better than she did. Despite the last few days, she was an outsider to him. And with his beastly behavior, he certainly deserved to be miserable.

As she crossed the lobby, she mentally chastised herself. Nopony deserved to be miserable. But what could she do that Celestia couldn’t?

Then a thought occurred to her. She really only had Blueblood’s word that Celestia had tried anything. Was the Princess even aware of the problem? She was good at reading ponies, but having a country to run might have left her with her blind spots.

That’s a start. When they returned to Canterlot she’d have tea with the Princess and tell her of her suspicions. Then she’d get Celestia’s side of the story and...

“You!”

Rarity was snapped out of her thoughts by that one word. She looked and saw Twilight and Applejack standing at the entrance of the hotel, glaring at her.

“Twilight? Applejack? What are you two...”

“Save it, Changeling!”

There were gasps as everypony began giving Rarity a wide berth. The Unicorn’s eyes widened. “What?”

“The real Rarity would never date Blueblood!” Applejack said, advancing forward with her wife. Twilight’s horn began glowing.

Rarity backed up. “Wait, wait, I can explain...”

Twilight hesitated, remembering her brother’s wedding. “Fine. Answer a question only the real Rarity could answer.”

The white Unicorn brightened up. “Ask away.”

“Spike told you his favorite food just before the party. What was it?”

“...Uh...”

”Oh boy, Rarity, Twilight told me Scootaloo’s mom who I didn’t think existed got instructions on how to make...”

Oh this poor boy. Spike, when are you going to get over this little puppy love? You’re simply too young for me. Now that Trenderhoof... mmm... unless I miss my guess, he’s a catch. Oh, what I’d like to do to him...

Twilight’s horn lit up again.

“Wait, ask me something else!”

Twilight sighed. “Fine. Who’s my favorite historical character?”

“Uh...”

What do you mean, you don’t recognize my costume? He only set the stage for every magical discovery ever! He...”

Twilight, dearie, your brains are admirable, but you simply must get out more. You look fantastic, and you look even better dressed up. You should have stallions banging down your door. I wish you’d join me on speed dating...

Again, Twilight’s horn lit up.

“Wait, one more chance.”

“What’s your mother’s maiden name?”

After a moment of silence, Rarity spoke. “...Pass?”

Twilight’s beam was fired. Rarity dodged and immediately began fleeing.

“Blueblood, help!”

“After her!”

Rarity scrambled for the elevators before remembering that was a bad idea and heading for the stairs. Twilight and Applejack followed.

As they did, two guards that had been watching over Rarity looked on.

“Um, you think we should do something?”

“Do you want to try taking on the Princess’s personal student?”

“Good point.”

Rarity scrambled up the stairs with Applejack right behind her. Thankfully, Twilight wasn’t as fast and she wasn’t willing to risk another shot if it meant she might hit Applejack.

The farmpony was fast, but thankfully so was Rarity. Not quite fast enough to outrun her friend, but enough to get back to Blueblood. Maybe he could sort this out.

“Get back here!”

Rarity ran. “Look, Applejack, I’m Rarity, I swear!”

“I ain’t fallin’ for that again!” the cowpony yelled. “Twilight was right the last time she said a Changelin’ was around.”

Rarity cried and ran. Much to her relief, fear provided a good adrenaline rush. It wasn’t long before she reached their suite.

“Blueblood! Help!”

The Prince in question looked up from the paperwork he was doing. Before he could ask anything, Applejack burst in.

“What in Celestia’s name?”

“Stay away from her,” Applejack yelled. “She’s a Changeling in disguise!”

“What? No she’s...”

A purple aura engulfed Blueblood. Twilight had entered.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put you somewhere safe!” Twilight yelled.

“No, wait...”

Twilight opened a closet and shoved Blueblood in, slamming the door and sealing it with her magic. “Now you have no shield to hide behind!”

“No, no, wait!”

Twilight shot out another blast. This one was barely dodged, hitting the wall behind it and leaving a large hole that the guests in the room behind them peeped through. Rarity’s survival instinct kicked in, and she was through the hole and out the door on the other side before Twilight could recover from her spent energy.

Applejack, however, was not restrained by any such fatigue. She leapt through after her. She had made it to the door and was about to turn the corner when she ran into a strong barrier. She shook off the ringing in her head to see...

“Shining Armor?”

The bulky Unicorn just glared at her.

“Good, you’re here. We got a Changeling on the run and...”

Shining Armor lifted his axe. Applejack got quiet.

“...Shiny?”

“You corrupted my sister!”

Applejack’s eyes widened. “Wait, Shiny!”

“GAAAAAAH!”

“AAAAAAAAH!”

Applejack barely dodged the axe. Yelling in terror, she bolted in the other direction, with Shining Armor following.

Sadly, Applejack turned into another hallway, which is why Twilight didn’t see her leave as she entered the hallway in search of her target.

Blueblood was a lot stronger than most ponies gave him credit for, and with a few good kicks he managed to get the closet door knocked down. Thankfully, Twilight’s rush job, while better than what many Unicorns could have done in the same situation, was still not up to par with what it should have been.

He saw the hole in the wall and groaned, hitting his hoof with his forehead. His mind was racing. Twilight had probably ruined everything. He needed to save Rarity, and get the guards to swarm the hotel and search it in case the Changelings were here. He needed to find a window and...

A loud crash caused him to jump three feet in the air. His hotel wall had been busted through, by what appeared to be a peddled flying machine. And at its controls was a pink Earth Pony that Blueblood recognized as one of the Bearers.

“We’re here!”

A large red Earth Pony jumped off the back. “Where is he!”

Blueblood blinked. “Who are you?”

“I’m here to stop Shining Armor from hurting my sister!”

Blueblood saw the Apple on his flank and put two and two together. “Oh for... I’m guessing your sister went that way,” he responded, waving a hoof toward the first hole. “While you’re at it, could you stop her from killing Rarity? She thinks she’s a Changeling in disguise.”

Big MacIntosh charged after his sister. Blueblood, meanwhile, went over to the hole he had made in the wall and shot a spell from his horn. The light lit up the sky, and he knew his soldiers would start moving.

Smiling, he turned back into the room and was surprised to see Pinkie still there, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Um... hi?”

“So, are you really dating Rarity? Is Rarity a Changeling? Are you on the misunderstanding part of your relationship?”

“Uh, no we’re not and no she isn’t. This was a plot to catch Changelings that your friends ruined. Aren’t you worried about them?”

“Not really. They can all take care of themselves.”

“Gah! Help!” Applejack ran down the hallway, followed by Shining Armor.

“Aah! Help!” Rarity ran down the perpendicular hallway, followed by Twilight.

Big Mac came charging until he came to a four-way intersection. He looked around, listened for his sister’s screams of panic, and followed.

In the lobby, three parties came together at once.

“Shiny?” Twilight asked.

“Twiley!” Shining said.

“Twi! Help!”

“I’m not a Changeling!

“Get away from my sister!” Big Mac yelled.

It was a melee. Twilight was trying to catch Rarity while stopping Shining Armor from killing Applejack, Shining Armor trying to kill Applejack, Big Mac trying to kill Shining Armor for trying to kill Applejack, and poor Rarity trying to slip away. By now, every civilian had fled, leaving the group to battle.

That is, until...

“Alright, everypony, STOP!

A wave of magic crossed over the five ponies, stopping them dead. Twilight had a large shot charged up, aimed at Rarity, Shining Armor had his axe above his head while Applejack cowered, and Big Mac was crouching to leap at Shining Armor. They turned to see a very unhappy looking Cadance standing next to an equally unhappy looking Blueblood and a happy Pinkie, who was munching on box of popcorn.

“Honestly, you’re acting like children! Twilight, did you learn anything from the wedding?”

“But... Rarity couldn’t answer anything about herself!”

“Really?” Cadance asked, eyeing the white Unicorn.

“I... haven’t paid the greatest bit of attention when others have been talking.”

Cadance shook her head. “That’s not good, Rarity. It’s polite to listen.” She turned to her husband. “And honestly, Shiny, you were ready to disown Twilight when she tried interfering with your love life. Now you’re trying to kill Twilight’s partner?”

“Uh, well... it wasn’t a real axe... I was just gonna hurt her a little...”

“That’s no excuse!” She turned to Big Mac. “You can totally kick my husband’s plot later.”

“Hey!”

“Uh, Cadance?” Twilight asked.

“Don’t give me that, Shiny! You were running around like an animal!”

“Cadance, you need to let me go n-”

“Twiley, I’m not done lecturing you. I’m just as unhappy as you...”

“Cadance, I’m about to drop my...”

Too late.

Twilight had been stopped when she had a spell charged up, and it hadn’t faded. It had hung on Twilight’s horn, and when it wasn’t fired, it began to drop. Unfortunately, it wasn’t any less powerful dropped.

The five were blown in different directions, hitting different walls. They all struck walls, sending cracks across them. But as their vision cleared, they all saw the hole in the floor their spell had caused. They saw into the hotel’s underground basement.

They saw all the equipment sitting down in it, making it clear it had been lived in.

And they saw the creatures that were previously operating them, the same creatures that were now crawling out of it.

“Well, well, well,” Chrysalis said, as her Changelings surrounded her. “Look who finally found us.”

Jump to top

Confession

In no time at all it was a battlefield. Changelings were everywhere, and they found themselves at the mercy of the most powerful Unicorn in existence, a pair of incredibly strong Earth Ponies, the Captain of the Royal Guards, the Princess of Love, several Royal Guards, and Pinkie Pie. In this close quarters, almost nopony could tell what was going on, they just attacked whatever was black.

Prince Blueblood ducked behind a chair in the lobby. He considered joining in the fray, but common sense told him getting outside to alert more back up was the smarter move. Besides, he had always been more capable in a one-on-one battle. While he took shots at any Changeling that attacked him first, he knew that when ganged up on, he was done.

As he crawled for the exit to summon more troops, the battle raged. Twilight was firing as wildly as she could while still being careful not to strike anypony innocent. Applejack was making anypony who came within striking range of her regret it. Shining Armor was showing that his rank wasn’t nepotism. And several Royal Guards, who had been waiting on alert, were pouring into the hotel.

Applejack kicked at another Changeling, causing it to give a shrill cry as it fell. She could keep it up. She could kick these varmints into next year, and keep everypony safe. There was no way these bugs were getting the better of her again.

However, one thing happened that stopped her, but only for a split second. The Changeling Queen was sneaking through an entryway, trying to slip away from the battle.

In a rage, Applejack moved forward, kicking and hitting any Changeling that tried to stop her. By the time she had reached the exit, the Queen had already disappeared through the entryway. She followed into the darkened halls.

“Hold it right there!”

The Queen stopped. When she looked at Applejack, however, her face didn’t show fear, or anger, but amusement.

“Well, well, Applejack, you’re actually trying to stop me? That’s so cute.”

Applejack charged forward. The Queen summoned a shield, and the cowpony turned on a dime and kicked.

The shield shattered.

Chrysalis was shocked, but only for a moment. Applejack leapt at her, but the Queen’s green glow enveloped her, stopping her in midair.

“And here I thought you’d have more brains than to just come charging in like an animal.” Then she slammed Applejack into the ground. “That’s what I get for assuming you have any brains.”

“Lemme go, you two-bit...”

Chrysalis shot a beam out of her horn. The pain it caused Applejack was unbearable. She cried and wailed in agony until it stopped and the Queen slammed her hoof onto her back. “No. I am a queen. You are a dirt farmer. I give you the orders.”

Applejack tried to break away, but all it got her was further pressure from Chrysalis’s hoof.

“It’s hilarious. The most useless of the Bearers thinks she can stop me? The dumb muscle thinking she was the brains. It’s sad.”

“I’m not use...”

The attempted protest got Applejack rolled onto her back. Chrysalis’s hoof slammed down on her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. Tears filled her eyes as the hoof came twice more.

“Yeah, I guess you are good for something: playing in the mud. Being Twilight Sparkle’s attack dog. Or at least, until somepony gives you the chance to pretend you’re worth something. Then you’ll walk out on her without a second thought.”

“Huh... huh.... stop...” Applejack couldn’t breathe. Both from Chrysalis kicking the wind out of her and her tears which were starting to fall.

“You know, the first time I met you, I laughed. And do you know why? It was because I felt the love you had for her. I had to laugh. A dumb little mud pony thinking she had any chance with a high born pony like that! It was so pathetic. Like a dog begging for a scrap she couldn’t hope to have.”

Applejack’s eyes were swimming in tears. She struggled, but it was becoming weaker and weaker.

“You were so desperate to prove you were worth something you latched onto me, even as I was spitting in your face. So desperate you got right on your back and spread your hind legs for me like a...”

Then a white blur slammed into Chrysalis’s side.

Applejack was too emotionally wrecked to even realize what had happened. She didn’t see Princess Celestia use her horn to deliver a long gash down Chrysalis’s barrel. She didn’t see the two Royal Guards trying to help her up. The pain, both emotionally and physically, caused her to black out.

Applejack awoke feeling like she had been stampeded over by every pony in Equestria. She was in a hospital, bandaged and broken, in more ways than one.

She struggled to get up, but a hoof on her stopped her. Flinching, she turned to see Princess Celestia, smiling warmly.

“P-Princess?” By some miracle, she could speak, and it didn’t hurt much. “What happened? Where’s Twilight?”

“She’s helping with cleanup,” Celestia spoke. “You needn’t worry. As soon as I got the message that Twilight was heading to Manehattan to confront Rarity, I went to try and stop her from blowing the operation.”

“How long have I been out?”

“Just a few hours,” Celestia said. Then her expression turned dark. “It seems that Chrysalis learned how to inflict pain without truly hurting a pony. You had a few cracked bones, but it’s nothing to an Earth Pony. You’ll be fine in a day or two.”

Applejacked moaned. She noticed Celestia had a fold out desk with several papers with her. “Princess... why...”

“I wanted to be here when you woke up,” she said. She turned to a Royal Guard. “Leave, and make sure nopony enters until I say so.”

The guard nodded, showing himself out.

That done, Celestia turned her attention to Applejack once more. “Applejack... before I could get to you, one of the guards overheard what Chrysalis said. I swore him to secrecy, do not worry. But I truly want to know: do you have feelings for Twilight?”

The cowpony’s heart caught in her throat. She looked at Celestia with a pained expression. Too tired and disoriented to even think of denying anything, she nodded. “Y-yes.”

Celestia smiled, then placed a wing over Applejack in a hug. “Oh Applejack, you don’t know how happy that makes me.”

The Earth Pony looked at the Princess. “Huh? You’re... happy?”

Celestia smiled. “Of course I am. I love Twilight very much,. and I’ve always hoped she’d find a suitable partner.”

“Y-you think I’m...”

Much to Applejack’s shock, the Princess leaned in and kissed her softly on the forehead. “Applejack... do you truly believe any of the hurtful things Chrysalis said? Do you truly believe you’re unworthy of my student’s love?”

Applejack looked at herself. “I have nothin’ I can give her...”

“How about a partner who will be there for her when she needs somepony to lean on? A pony who is too stubborn to stop loving her when things get hard? Your love is enough... no, it’s the most important thing. I’ve lived longer than anypony, and I guarantee you: there is never enough love in the world. Any you offer is welcome.”

“But... I’m...”

“Were you thinking in material terms? Are you afraid you can’t offer her any riches? Why worry about that? As my student, she could have anything she wanted. Material items are a non-issue. All she’d ever need is you. Believe me, you’re more than enough.”

Applejack blushed. “I guess, but... I... I don’t know. There....” She had to stop to catch her breath. “There has to be... somepony who can treat her... better. Somepony who... knew her way... around them fancy... frou-frou things”

‘No, Applejack,” Celestia shook her head. “What happened to that proud and stubborn pony I met after liberating my sister? You’re focused so much on what you don’t have... and in many cases, what you think you don’t have... that you aren’t focusing on what you do have. You’re a Bearer of an Element of Harmony, and I think you could have just as easily have been chosen to wield Loyalty and Kindness as well. You are brave and compassionate, and you’ve always been there for those who need you. I’m very pleased such an exceptional mare has taken an interest in my student.”

Applejack felt her face heat up.

“You’ll have to forgive Luna. She meant well, but she forgets you must listen to a pony’s problems before you can help them. Now then, I’m going to send word to Twilight so you can tell her how you feel.”

Applejack blinked. “What?”

“Applejack... hiding your love serves no purpose. If she reciprocates, you’re only denying yourself happiness. And if she doesn’t, and yes, there’s a chance she won’t, you’re delaying the needed healing process. It might hurt for a bit, but it’s like pulling off a band-aid: the quicker you do it, the less pain.”

Applejack spluttered. “But...” She stopped. She couldn’t argue.

Celestia placed a hoof on her. “Please, Applejack. I’m not asking for anything that isn’t beneficial to you. Do you really think Twilight is one to just let friendships end?”

“...No.”

Celestia smiled, then gave her another kiss on the forehead. “Then I’ll summon her at once.”

Applejack gave a smile, one that did little to hide her fear. Then she looked down at herself and stooped.

“The rings...”

“Yes, it seems they were a form of love magic that Cadance was familiar with. She got them off quite easily, and she assured me that there was nothing in them that would affect your mind. I’ve also had the wedding annulled, though I want you to keep quiet on that until I’ve had a chance to talk to you both. If this works out, I’ll throw you a proper wedding.”

Applejack smiled. “Could it... be in my orchards?”

Celestia paused. “It can... we can talk about it soon. For now, Twilight awaits.”

Twilight and Shining Armor hadn’t had a moment this awkward since he had gone to her not long after the Wedding to apologize for what had happened. Only here it was even worse. At least then there had been blame to share. Here, he couldn’t say Twilight had a share in it. So, as they walked down the hospital corridors, he struggled to speak.

“Twiley...”

“Don’t ‘Twiley’ me!” she snapped. “For Celestia’s sake, Shiny, I’m not a foal anymore! You can’t go around chasing everypony I date, I can take care of myself!”

“You know, a pony who can take care of herself doesn’t get...”

“Don’t even,” Twilight said. “If one mistake destroyed every bit of credibility somepony had, you’d be back down to Private right now.”

Shining Armor winced. “Look... you’re right. Running in like that was inexcusable. I’ll apologize to Applejack as soon as I can. I’m sorry, really.”

Twilight stopped. Then she gave her brother a hug. “Just... be more careful next time, okay?”

Shining Armor hugged back. “I promise.” After it was over, Twilight went toward Applejack’s room. Pleased, Shining Armor turned around.

He found a large red Earth Pony stallion blocking his way, flexing his muscles. Cadance was right behind him.

“I promised him,” the Alicorn said.

Twilight entered Applejack’s room. She was sitting there, looking at her with a worried expression of fear.

“Applejack,” she smiled, giving her a gentle hug.

“Hey Twi,” she said, trying to return it.

“Everything’s fine, AJ. The Changelings have been caught, the marriage is annulled, and the rings are off. Everything can go back to normal once we get back to Ponyville.”

Applejack started tearing up. “No...”

“Applejack? What’s wrong?” Twilight tilted her head. She placed a hoof on hers.

“No... I...”

Twilight’s breath caught in her throat. “Applejack... is this about whatever’s been bothering you? Please, tell me.”

“I... I...” Applejack tried. She couldn’t get the words out.

She looked into Twilight’s eyes. She had pretty eyes. And they were looking at her with an expression that was encouraging. No matter what you say, the eyes said, I’ll still be here for you.

“...I don’t want things to go back to normal.”

For Applejack, time seemed to stop. Twilight looked at her with an unreadable expression, trying to process the information. Or maybe thinking of a way to turn her down.

“I don’t understand. Applejack, what do you mean?”

Applejack blinked. “Um... well... I’m not sure I really wanted those... those rings off.”

Silence again. Now it was all in the open.

“Huh? But... wait...” Realization was beginning to cross her features. So was a blush. “A-Applejack. A-are you saying... that you...”

Applejack took a deep breath, released it, and then spoke before her fear could catch up with her. “Yes Twi. I... I love you. I have fer a long time. I was too afraid to tell you how I feel. It wasn’t all the alcohol talkin’ fer me. I love you, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight sat in a daze.

She started breathing heavily. Her face red.

And she started crying.

“How?”

That wasn’t the question Applejack had expected. She had expected “Why?” or “Really?”

“What do you mean?”

“The only reason any pony shows any interest in me is for social standing. I know you don’t care about that. So how can you love me?”

Applejack was so stunned that any fear she had over this conversation was instantly forgotten. “Wh... what? You really have to ask that question? Yer beautiful, Twi! And yer the sweetest mare I’ve ever seen. You’re always tryin’ to do what’s right, and doin’ right by others, even when it’s hard! You’ve been there to help me, and not just against varmints like the Flim Flam Brothers, but against myself! I’ve seen you chase Spike into dragon-infested territory ‘cause you wanted to see him safe! You forgave Trixie after everything that happened. You... you forgave us every time we’ve let you down, and all you’ve asked is to be forgiven when it’s the other way around. Twi... yer somepony that I’d have to be a fool not to love.”

Twilight looked at Applejack.

For a few seconds everything was silent except for a few soft sobs.

Then, Twilight threw herself across the room, threw her forelegs around Applejack, and kissed her.

Applejack was shocked, but kissed back, holding it for ten seconds.

Finally, the cowpony broke it off. “Twi...”

Twilight kissed her again, then broke it. “Twi...”

Twilight moved in.

“Twi, I’m really sore an’ yer crushing me!”

Twilight gave a yelp and released Applejack. The cowpony took a few deep breaths.

“Applejack, I am so, so sorry!”

“Relax, sugarcube, it’s the good kind of pain,” she smiled. She was crying. “Since I guess this means you like me back.”

“I... um... well, I’d like to give it a try... I’m sorry, Applejack, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m... I’m just not used to ponies liking me, and now I might have ruined everything because I was an idiot and moved too fast before I was sure and...”

Applejack placed a hoof against her chest. This actually got Twilight to stop and look at her. The cowpony smiled.

“Say you’ll give me a chance, Twi. That’s all I want.”

“Yes. yes, Applejack, I will give you a chance. I’ll be your marefriend.” Twilight actually squealed. “I have a marefriend!”

Applejack just laughed. “Well, we can thank Chrysalis fer this at least.”

Twilight blinked, then realization struck her. “The Changelings weren’t behind this.”

“...Huh?”

“We put Chrysalis under lie detection, truth serums, and everything, but nothing came up. The Changelings had nothing to do with this.”

Applejack just looked at her. “Then... who is?”

Cadance looked around the hotel hallway and, when she was sure nopony was looking, she opened the door and went in.

She crossed the suite and sat on the couch where the priest was casually munching popcorn, his eyes fixed on the television screen. Absently, he offered some to her. She took it, proclaiming “Why are you still in that form?”

“Picky, picky,” he said, allowing the hoof holding the bowl to become a lion’s paw. An eagle’s talon reached in to grab another bite.

The pair sat in silence as they watched Applejack and Twilight on the television screen, each giddy about their new relationship.

As the purple pony leaned in for another kiss, Cadance and Discord hoofbumped.

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Wrapping Things Up

Rarity sipped her tea, her nerves a little shot. Twilight had apologized over and over, to the point where Rarity began to suspect her fellow Unicorn was trying to punish her for her own excessive apologizing after the wedding. She forgave her, of course. Had she been in Twilight’s situation, she would likely have done the same.

Blueblood was in the chair next to her, writing on some form or another. For the last half hour he had been running through the paperwork necessary for the mass arrest and the resulting property damage. The crown would cover it all.

Rarity set her tea down. “I’m going to head out on a walk,” she said, heading toward the door.

“My parents practically committed treason.”

Rarity froze at the admission. She didn’t turn around. She realized, at that moment, that Blueblood had stopped writing.

“My parents were caught funneling some of their money into a Unicorn supremacist group. When they were caught, Aunt Celestia knew that the public would punish me for what they did. So she gave them a choice: go to trial and get life in prison, or turn me over to her care while they did a few... missions for her.”

Rarity turned to look at him. His face was neutral, clearly being a politician had given him a good poker face.

“So... it was similar to what you had me doing?”

Blueblood shook her head. “Your job was to sit there, sell dresses, and look for Changelings They were doing far dirtier work. Still can’t tell you exactly what. They eventually completed their work long after Aunt Celestia raised me. They’ve been trying to get in my good graces ever since. And before you tell me that maybe they’ve changed: I agreed to meet with them once, and believe me, they haven’t.”

Rarity looked at him, trying to read his face. “Why are you telling me all this?”

Blueblood took a breath. “My parents... hearing about what they were was painful. I actually hated Auntie for a while for taking them. But it wasn’t long until I heard what that group did. I went to her and apologized over and over. I had Celestia, but I never forgave my parents.” He took another deep breath. Rarity was beginning to suspect he was trying to stop himself from breaking down. “Auntie, Twilight, Moondancer... they were there for me. I’ll bet Spike would have been too, if he had been old enough to understand. They all helped me, but nopony has ever let me get completely over it.

“When I met you, I dismissed you as just another social climber. But... believe it or not, the fact that you stopped pushing it convinced me otherwise. Mares just trying to get a nobility position would have kept pushing me, thinking they had found a crack in the armor. You actually respected my wishes and backed off. You... aren’t the mare I thought you were.”

Rarity looked at him for a moment, unsure of what to do.

“I... well, I try to be a good pony. I don’t always succeed, but I like to think getting the Element of Generosity has made me better.”

Blueblood nodded. then he slipped into a stare into nothingness. Not one of a pony spaced out, but one of contemplation. Then he spoke.

“Well, your service is over. But... I don’t suppose you would be willing to join me for dinner again?”

Rarity blinked. “You mean... like a date?”

“No. Not ‘like a date’, just a date.”

There was silence for a moment. “Are you saying you want to be my coltfriend?”

“I’m saying I want to give you a chance to convince me that I want to be your coltfriend. I don’t meet many mares who are after anything but my status and bits. Anypony willing to show me real kindness is worth a shot.”

Rarity was unsure what to think at the moment. A mix of sympathy, excitement, nervousness, and uncertainty. Still, in the end, she could only give a small smile. “I think that sounds lovely. At the same restaurant?”

“No. My quarters in the palace. As soon as you’re done with the Expo.”

Rarity blinked. “But the mission...”

“Are you saying you don’t want your designs in the most exclusive expo in Equestria?”

“Oh no no!” Rarity suddenly said. “I’d be delighted.”

Blueblood just grinned.

“So... we’re going to take the rest of this carefully,” Twilight said. True to Celestia's assurances, Applejack’s Earth Pony magic resulted in a quick healing, so they were riding home at noon the following day.

“I don’t think you can take a relationship carefully,” Applejack said. “Ya just gotta take whatever comes.”

“Well, we don’t want to make a decision too rashly. What if we move in together too soon? Or what if we... do that too soon? Oh, I better get out every relationship book the library has and...”

Applejack kissed her on the lips, holding it there for a few seconds. When she pulled away, Twilight was speechless.

“Hmm... a good way to cut you off. Good. I love ya, Twi, but sometimes you start babblin’ about worries and you can get pretty silly.”

“Um... seriously Applejack, some research...”

“Ain’t what we’re gonna be doin’. If we gotta problem we can’t figure out, we’ll take a look, but promise me you won’t go crazy tryin’ to map out everythin’.”

Twilight looked at her fillyfriend (yes, she really had a fillyfriend) and smiled. “Okay, Applejack. I promise.”

Applejack smiled. She gave Twilight one more kiss before the chariot landed.

The pair got out, and they didn’t have to wait long before being greeted.

“Twilight!”

“Applejack!”

The two ponies caught two blurs, each turning out to be the child they had left behind. As Spike wrapped his arms around Twilight’s neck and Apple Bloom placed her head against AJ’s, the two ponies nuzzled into their respective charges. Three other fillies ran up to them. Surprisingly, two of them were Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Sweetie was there with them, while Scootaloo remained unseen.

“We’re back, and we got the rings off. Everything’s back to normal!” Twilight said.

“Well... not everythin’!” Applejack said. She leaned over and planted a kiss on Twilight’s cheek, causing the Unicorn to blush.

In a flash Apple Bloom was out of Applejack’s grip and bouncing around the two older mares in a wild glee. “Yes! Yes! Twilight’s gunna be mah sister-in-law! Twilight’s gunna be mah sister-in-law!”

“Whoa, sugar, little early to be gettin’ that far,” Applejack said, looking over at her blushing fillyfriend.

Twilight looked down at Spike to see him looking up at her with a blank expression.

“Spike?”

The dragon blinked. “Sorry, Twilight. It’s just... a surprise. I mean, I’d figure you two would want time away from each other after all that. I’m happy for you, really.”

Twilight smiled, but she mentally filed away talking to Spike on her “to do” list.

“So... when Applejack marries Twilight, is that gonna make Apple Bloom Spike’s aunt?”

Twilight and Spike jumped at Sweetie’s question.

“Twilight’s not my mom,” Spike said, convincing nopony.

“We better get home,” Twilight said. She gave Applejack a quick peck on the cheek. “Come on, Spike.”

“Aw, really? Do we have to?”

Twilight stopped, looking at Spike. She was smiling. “You made friends after all.”

Spike blinked. “I... guess I did.”

“Well, I still want you to come home now. But I promise you can play with them tomorrow.”

“So we’re still on for the lake tomorrow?” Silver Spoon asked.

“Sure thing!” Spike said.

“And I’ll be seeing you tomorrow,” Twilight told Applejack, the Earth Pony nodded.

Applejack and the five fillies waved goodbye as Twilight and Spike walked down the road. Then Silver Spoon spoke. “Wait... he never picked a winner.”

Apple Bloom stopped. “Hey, yeah, Spike never said who the best kisser was.”

“...What?” Applejack said flatly.

“Wait... I’ve been hanging around the blank flanks for nothing?” Diamond Tiara wretched. “Ew, ew, nasty! I’m contaminated! I’m...”

“So do you not want to go to the lake with us?” Sweetie asked.

“...I didn’t say that.”

Fluttershy sat in her cottage, silently moping, Rainbow Dash had been avoiding her these last few days. Maybe she should have listened to her and just dropped the subject until later. But how much later? How long could they put off a discussion about their future?

Angel sat in his basket, happily munching a carrot. Rainbow Dash was gone. Applejack had come by to pick up Winona, and Owlowiscious had taken that as the cue to fly home. He finally had Fluttershy to himself again. Life was good.

And then the door opened.

“Fluttershy!”

The Pegasus in question jumped, but calmed when she saw who it was. “Rainbow Dash?”

“Fluttershy... I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

Rainbow Dash sat down next to her. “Listen, I was thinking about what you said today and while I was, Scootaloo came up to me and started pestering me. Something about the other fillies having an argument about a kissing contest or something. Anyway, she just kept pressuring me to hang out with her and just kept being annoying, so I figured she needed a trip to the Rainbow Factory.”

“...Really?”

“Yeah, and it worked. We went on a guided tour and she loved all the machines and ran around in the play area. I had a lot of fun too. By the end, she was so tuckered out I had to carry her home. When I got there, I found out her parents were abusive alcoholics and I was the the only one who cared about her. So I went to police, had them arrested, and adopted her.”

“...Really?”

“...Okay, not really. But it did make me realize that I wanted to have foals some day. Not right away, but... I think we’ll be okay in this department.”

Fluttershy squealed and threw herself at Dash, kissing her on the lips.

Angel dropped his carrot in horror. Then he buried his head in his paws, sobbing.

Tank was to his side, watching the scene.

<...So what was the explanation as to how Miss Fluttershy got such a high tolerance level?> Tank asked.

Angel said, managing to keep his voice steady.

<...That hardly seems shameful.>

Angel actually shivered.

Twilight stopped in the doorway to her bedroom. She looked around. It felt good to be home, but the extra guest bed they had tried to use for Applejack and the absence of Spike’s basket made it seem odd.

Spike had declined moving his basket back, having grown accustomed to having his own room. While that was what Twilight had been hoping for, she’d felt a sense of loss at the same time. Almost like...

No, not like a mother watching her child grow up. It certainly wasn’t anything like that.

She sighed, getting into bed. No Spike, no Applejack, whoever forced them together was still out there. She was going to have trouble getting to sleep tonight.

For hours she tossed and turned, hoping sleep would find her. She had gotten too used to sharing a bed. She was never going to get to sleep.

Then she heard the library’s bell ring.

She got up. Somepony had come into her house. Nopony locked their doors in Ponyville, there was no need, so whoever this was wasn’t breaking in.

She got up and went out into the main room.

“Applejack?” Twilight asked.

The cowpony was indeed at the base of the stairs. She looked up at her fillyfriend with a weak smile. “Hey, sugarcube.”

She looked tired, like she had been struggling to sleep as well.

“Listen... this might sound silly, but... I got used to havin’ ya around... now I can’t sleep. So, do ya think... fer just one more night...”

A purple aura practically dragged Applejack upstairs.

In no time at all the two were in bed, under the covers, stealing kisses and holding each other tightly. Their relationship might have its troubles coming, but they felt like they could take on anything.

Author's Note

Well, here it is.

Got kind of out of control there for awhile, but it's finished.

I was originally thinking of having Rainbow Dash's story about Scootaloo being abused be real, with the joke being that Angel was worse off than ever with Fluttershy acting as a mother to Scoots as well, but I decided that was too off the wall.

And, a bigger one. You might remember, early on, that I wrote that Twilight's parents drifted away from her. The original plan was to have them suddenly show up to push Twi and AJ's relationship. Then it would have been revealed that they were really changelings, and that they had replaced her parents since a mere month after Twilight's entrance exam. However, I took a step back and realized this twist was way too dark for this story. Plus, Twilight would have had no time to grieve.

You know, I might do another chapter of Luna and Fluttershy's drunken night...

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