Longing For Harmony

With every frantic hoofstep propelling her further, Fluttershy's lungs burned. Her legs were sore, and her throat was dry. The determined pegasus was racing to Twilight Sparkle's house like there was no tomorrow; for all she knew, there might not be a tomorrow, for herself, at least. She wouldn't entirely mind this, if it weren't for the fact that her last of her closest friends had not yet achieved peace of mind.

When she finally arrived, Fluttershy was a sweating, aching mess. Catching a glimpse of her reflection in one of Twilight's windows, she realized there was no way Twilight could see her like this and not know something was up. What was she going to say? On top of that, she didn't know how to explain the sands, or the Panacea Crystal -- knowing Twilight, she might get upset that Fluttershy didn't bring them to her as soon as she found them.

'I suppose that would have been the better thing to do, but it just didn't occur to me right then... I'm so stupid...'

Somehow, she knew she'd inevitably have to explain the situation sooner or later, a realization that she dreaded. It was understandable that Twilight would find the magical mess a higher priority than her own emotional ordeals, but it would be better approached with a calmer, clearer mindset. Hatching an idea, Fluttershy gently rested one hoof against the front door, and her other hoof onto her pouch of sands.

'I really hope this works...'

After a moment of hard concentration, she opened her eyes to the sound of Twilight obliviously shuffling about in her home. The pegasus surveyed the horizon outside, to witness that everything and everypony in sight were frozen stiff. Just as she intended, Twilight's house and everything in it remained in motion, while the world outside was stopped in time. Fluttershy sighed in relief, strangely feeling slightly accomplished as she knocked on Twilight's door.

Almost immediately, the 'emotional bleed' effect seized her once again. Twilight's morning had been full of dread, irritation, worry, and exhaustion. All of these feelings were seeping into Fluttershy, startling her. To her fearful expectation, coming here this early, while the unicorn was still unprepared for visitors, had only heightened these feelings. Fluttershy could barely hear Twilight grumble under her breath as she started to open the door, although she was greeted with a warm, possibly relieved smile.

"Good morning, Fluttershy! I hadn't expected anypony to come by this early, I was just getting ready for the day. Did you need something?"

"Well, if it's okay, I was wanting to know if I could spend some time with you. I know you're always very busy, which is why I wanted to come by this early, so we could be together before you had to do anything. I mean, if that's okay with you, I guess. I can come back later if you want."

Twilight blinked a few times, raising a hoof to rub her still-waking eyelids. "I think it should be alright. I need to slow down a little before I get started any ways." Once her vision cleared, she perked up in alarm. "Fluttershy, are you alright? You look like you've just gone through the Running Of The Leaves!"

The pegasus blushed, feeling self-conscious. She'd only just now remembered that the pouch of sands was also still in plain view. She intended to hide it under her wing a moment ago, but suddenly realized it would look suspicious if Twilight noticed it later. Nervously, Fluttershy hurried to create an explanation.

"W-well, I woke up a little too late to feed my animals, and, um, I noticed that I'd ran out of bird seed, so I hurried to the store to get some more, and that's what I have with me right now... I mean, I already fed them and everything, but, just, um, I-I needed to make sure they had what they needed for lunch and dinner." She finished this with an uncomfortable, nervous smile.

Twilight raised a concerned eyebrow. It was hard to tell if she was entirely convinced or not. "... Well... Alright, then... Come on inside and relax. You look like you're burning up in that morning sun." She gingerly escorted her friend inside.

Fluttershy soon found that the library was almost as quiet as the completely immobile outdoors. Spike was faintly audible, snoring off in the distance. There was a long piece of parchment on a stand before the towering bookshelves, a list of all the new books Twilight was waiting for. Fluttershy was tempted to comment on it, but remembered that she technically wasn't supposed to know about it just yet.

'This whole time travel thing is the most confusing situation I've ever been in. I've been living out the same morning for several days in a row!'

"So, what were you doing today, Twilight? I don't want to keep you too long from anything important."

"I'm expecting a shipment of a bunch of new books from Canterlot. They're probably not going to come for at least a few more hours, though. I think this is the largest order I've ever gotten. Ponyville's library is going to finally stack up against some of the bigger cities, like Manehattan, even Canterlot itself. All week, I've had to get new bookshelves and rearrange the old ones to make room for the new ones. It's been very exhausting. Then, when the books actually get here, I'll not only have to put them in, but move around the old ones. I know it's going to be really hard work, but I'm hoping they arrive really soon, so at least I can get it over and done with before it gets too dark outside."

Fluttershy nodded. "That sounds really tough! I can see why you'd be really tired after working that hard all week, and then doing this today."

Twilight released a frustrated sigh. "It'd be a lot easier if Spike were up already. I told him he should've gone to bed while I was still getting everything taken care of, but he refused and insisted on staying up to help me, so now he's sleeping in. He may not be a baby dragon anymore, but he's still young enough to need an early bed time at night." There was a mixture of both irritation and appreciation in her voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I know he always tries really hard to help you. Maybe sometimes a little too hard."

"I'm glad for everything that Spike does for me. He makes mistakes sometimes, just like everypony else. But... I guess... I don't know, I think I'm just upset that this is going on right now. I told him how important it was to me that we get this done today. He thought he could do that and stay up last night, and pushed himself past his limits."

With a once-over at the intimidating, large bookshelves, her pegasus friend got an idea.

"Well, if you'd like, I can help you. I'll be quiet so we don't wake Spike up, but, um, you already know I'm quiet any ways, so that will already be okay and everything... Wh-what I mean is, maybe we can save you some time by making way for the new books. I know it won't look as orderly as it is now, which is how you like it, but, that way the space available will be there and you can just put the books right in place when they get here, and it won't be as difficult."

The unicorn beamed at this suggestion. "That's a really great idea! Why didn't I think of that earlier?" She groaned before adding, "This whole Canterlot book business has wound me up so much that I'm losing my edge! I'm forgetting things and missing the obvious!"

"It's okay. You've been undergoing a lot lately. Nopony's perfect."

Twilight blushed. "I-I know, just, I would've expected myself to think of that already."

She promptly started to use her magic, levitating the book list into the air, soon doing the same for an extra piece of blank parchment that was exactly the same length. The spell pressed them together, then separated them, perfectly imprinting the exact same list on the other parchment. In the short, fulfilling years Fluttershy knew her, Twilight's already impressive magic had improved considerably, even though there was still much left for her to master. The second list then hovered in front of Fluttershy, following her every move and staying to the side for reference.

"You start from the left side of the room, with the top of the list, and I'll start from the right side with the bottom of the list. Then we'll meet in the middle when we get done."

Fluttershy nodded in confirmation, and headed towards one of the handily available ladders, carefully leaning it against the first bookshelf on the left side of the room. She was initially scared of going up so high to try to do such delicate, slow work, but took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, remembering she'd have her wings to fall back on. At this thought, Fluttershy's hoof met her forehead.

'Did I really just forget for a moment that I have wings? If Twilight saw that, she'd probably laugh her tail off. At least she's not the only one missing a little bit of clarity.'

The pegasus abandoned the ladder, instead relying completely on her feathered appendages to do the work. Even with the conveniently expedient advantages that her flight brought to this task, she found that making room for all of the new books was taking painstaking amounts of patience and concentration.

'It's a good thing Twilight is used to this sort of thing. I've only just started and I already have a headache. I couldn't handle stuff like this on a daily basis.'

On top of making sure that she was moving the correct books, Fluttershy treated them with gentleness, remembering how much personal value they all held to her friend. It felt as if time blurred, minutes melting into hours, an eternity of surveying the titles as both allies tended to them without speaking a word. Fluttershy still wasn't sure how to begin addressing her concerns with Twilight, mulling over how she'd finally deliver the necessary message about the Panacea Crystal. She became lost in a sea of thoughts, reflecting on their long friendship.

It hadn't dawned on her until now just how much her and Twilight had in common. They mostly tried to solve other people's problems and help them. That was what this whole foray with the sands was all about in the first place. When they both moved to Ponyville for the first time, they were initially quiet, shy, and anti-social. Lonely outcasts who never wanted to bother anypony, wrapped up in worlds that nopony else could seem to understand; Twilight with her books, and Fluttershy with her animals.

Even when they first met, they were reluctantly awkward in trying to introduce themselves, doing their best to be polite to one another, yet still uncomfortable. The unicorn getting acquainted with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity wasn't the first just for her at the time, but for Fluttershy as well. Sure, at the time she encountered them in passing whenever she left her cottage into the heart of Ponyville, but only to exchange greetings or occasionally make small talk. If it weren't for Twilight, would all of them ever have gotten as close as they did? Would it have even made any difference?

As they continued organizing the vacant spaces for the arriving books, Fluttershy noticed a peculiar sensation sweeping over her. Looking at every newfound gap in an otherwise orderly-looking group of bookshelves, it strangely reminded her of the cavities she felt in her own quality of life. The friendship between Twilight, herself, and the others had mostly been strong, but suffered occasional dips into bad times, like the way it had recently. She had food, shelter, and everything she needed to physically survive, but lacked mental and emotional comfort. It was only just then that Fluttershy realized these thoughts and emotions were slowly growing. She wasn't experiencing these all by herself; Twilight was sharing the same sentiments, doubling their intensity through the 'emotional bleeding' sensation.

She wanted to speak, to talk with Twilight about all these things, but found herself unable to, struggling with the frustrating difficulty of expressing herself. She remembered how both of them were often quiet and reclusive about their concerns, afraid to fully reveal their feelings in fear of being misunderstood or criticized. Upon realizing this, yet another set of emotional waves seeped into Fluttershy's awareness. These weren't just additional, different emotions, but a different person's emotions entirely, causing her to quickly realize that they came from the sleeping dragon, Spike.

The young boy had been worried about Twilight's recent relapse into an anxious overabundance of stress. As ever, he exhausted all of his efforts in assisting Twilight to the best of his ability, wanting to help as much as possible to reduce his unicorn caretaker's workload. With yesterday's tasks, Spike wanted to make sure he contributed his maximum potential for the day. He was just as scared of falling short on his assigned duties as he was of oversleeping for today, remembering how embarrassed and ashamed he'd feel if this was the case.

Bearing witness to the lingering emotions of both friends had made Fluttershy wonder if perhaps she could share them with each other, having never used the 'bleed' effect for anything more than picking up these things.

'Maybe that will help open up Twilight more to talking...'

She squinted her eyes, beginning to concentrate with all of her effort, but nothing seemed to be happening. Uttering a frustrated groan under her breath, she continued to try over and over again, but again, to no avail.

'I just want this to happen...'

Straining her efforts, Fluttershy finally achieved her goal, feeling Spike's desires for the mare's wellbeing start to share itself with the unicorn's awareness. Curiously, the pegasus glanced back and forth between the bookshelves, her list, and Twilight herself, watching to see how quickly she would realize what she was now experiencing. Twilight initially appeared to remain dutifully focused on her task of organization, but seemed somewhat distracted by some kind of hidden thought.

Finally, she relented. "I know that I definitely appreciate Spike. More than I can describe. But, sometimes I worry that I don't show that to him often enough, or not in the right ways. He's always been very intelligent and considerate for his age, even when he was a baby dragon. I remember that he even ran away once, and you were right, it was because he thought Owloysius replaced him. But I think it might also have been because I ignored his advice. He's always prodding me to be more social, and whenever I get deep into studying he's there at my side, reminding me there's a world outside. I thought at first that he just couldn't understand me, because he's a lot younger, and we have so many differences."

Twilight gently quivered, then sighed. "And then I realized he's been around me for longer than anyone. Even you and our friends. Even Princess Celestia. So, he was always around to see how... Things would really bother me, and what it did to me. Spike, whether or not he took my worries seriously, always paid attention to my concern. Sometimes, so much that he'd tell Princess Celestia without me knowing. I might have gotten upset at that, but, it still meant a lot knowing he cares that much about me. I remember when he hatched, and I accidentally turned him into a giant, everypony in Canterlot was very scared of him. They thought that he was like the kind of adult dragon that lives in a cave and hoards crystals in their greed. But I was able to show them that he was completely different. That he was friendly, and didn't want to hurt anypony. And he's been deeply thankful ever since."

She lowered her head, glancing at Fluttershy a few times, trying to remain focused on the bookshelves. "Lately he keeps trying to reassure me about Princess Celestia. I know that she cares about me, and that she doesn't think that I'm not good enough for her to accept. And I know that even if I get anxious and think otherwise, it won't change that. So please don't remind me. I've heard enough of it from Spike already."

At this, Fluttershy felt a pang of discouragement in her heart. The pegasus didn't want to pry, especially if Twilight insisted on it, although she was aware that seeking and maintaining Celestia's approval was a constant worry of hers, even after all this time. Again, she was reminded of Twilight's similarity to herself in being reluctant to reveal deeply-rooted troubles, trying to think of an approach that would suit her own self if she was in Twilight's place.

'Maybe if I give her a little bit of time, she might just... Talk about it on her own...'

The thought caused her to squirm unsurely, reminded of the urgency in helping her so she could resolve the dilemma with Skylar, and yet still painfully aware that emotional trust could not be rushed. Still, she remained silent, continuing the mutual task with the books. The entire time, she would glance at Twilight every few moments to check on her. The 'emotional bleed' sensation was feeding her a number of slowly growing feelings; inferiority, love, concern, paranoia, confusion, and nostalgia. They continued to trickle into Fluttershy's consciousness, gradually molding together a distant memory that Twilight was reminiscing in from when she was a filly;

Twilight Sparkle missed being home.

She had very loving parents, who took every chance to remind her how much she meant to them. But they were also very busy, frequently working overtime, and on weekends and holidays, saving to be able to afford to provide food and necessities, and to save for Twilight's education. Far too often, she would get stuck with a complete stranger, a babysitter who callously resented what little her parents could afford to pay them, often resulting in a different sitter every time. She missed her father's laughter and cheerfulness, her mother's doting compassion.

One of her fondest rituals with her mother was when she would brush her mane, at the beginning of each dawn and dusk. Her mother always did so with such care and grace, ensuring her daughter's comfort and satisfaction, humming a soothing melody with the coaxing feel of the bristles slowly sliding through each strand of hair. They would remain close all the while, with Twilight nestled into her soft, warm fur, a relaxing embrace to maintain serenity. She would even have Twilight with her facing a mirror, to make sure that her mane looked just the way Twilight wanted, continuing until the filly was satisfied with its appearance. But what Twilight enjoyed more was getting to see her mother right there with her, to know she was around for her, as she hardly ever was. Many of her sitters had tried to emulate this ritual, but it had never been the same. She would always still feel alone.

Her parents had finally gotten her into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, where she would stay for the duration of her education. Her parents would come by to visit whenever possible, even taking her back home for the day if they could manage, but again, this happened far too scarcely. Being here was something many others told her she should be proud of, that she was very lucky to even be considered, that all fillies her age would envy her for. But it wasn't the same as being home, with her parents. She was in a strange, unfamiliar place, with new caretakers, who were just more babysitters.

It was her fourth night staying at the castle in Canterlot, peering out the window to view the splendor that was the royal grounds, a sight beyond everypony's wildest dreams. She had spent much time at the side of Princess Celestia, the Sun Goddess ruler of Equestria herself, which had earned more jealousy from her less privileged peers. But even these wonders weren't enough to dispel Twilight's lingering homesickness. On the first three nights here, she had cried herself to sleep, missing her old room and her parents, clutching her doll and only companion Smarty Pants tightly against her chest. Her ears perked as the familiar sound of Celestia's golden horseshoes trotted into the room, but her eyes never left the window.

Concerned, the princess slowly approached, keeping a few feet's distance from the somber filly. "My dear student, what's wrong?"

"I miss Mommy," she murmured in lament.

Celestia frowned, her heart sinking. She knew that this was likely Twilight's ailment, and that not much could be done about it, even with her royal status and power. "I know, Twilight. I'm sorry, but she can't come here right now."

Twilight's eyes squeezed shut, tears forcing through her eyelids. "But I miss Mommy..."

"I promise you, your mother is going to come here very soon, the first chance she gets. But she won't be able to make it tonight. I'm sorry."

The young unicorn began to cry softly, wiping her eyes with her hoof as she leaned her head onto the windowsill. "But I want her to be here now..."

The alicorn was further saddened, desperately wanting to alleviate her student's sorrow. She looked off in the other corner for her doll, levitating it towards her. "How would you like to play with Smarty Pants? Maybe that will help you feel better?"

"I don't want Smarty Pants," Twilight groaned, "I want Mommy..."

Celestia paused for a moment, hesitating, then found an idea. "You wish Mommy was here now?"

First, there was no response. Then, Twilight nodded.

"And you're sad, because you miss Mommy, and she can't be here right now?"

Once more, Twilight nodded.

"You wish Mommy could come get you, and hug you, and play with you. And take you home, and cook you dinner, and brush your mane, and read you bedtime stories. Right?"

Twilight sniffled, turning to face Celestia. At first, her head lowered, but she peered back up at her in confirmation.

"But she can't come here because she's too busy working," Celestia noted, "and that makes you feel upset."

Twilight paused, and slowly nodded one last time.

"I'm sorry."

At this, Twilight started to calm down, and slowly walked to the princess, causing them to gently hug one another.

"Even though I'm the Princess, there's still a lot of things that I'm unable to do a lot of the time. But I will do what I can to help you see your parents more often. I know you miss them a lot. And it's painful and lonely to be without them for so much, and everything becomes hard. You're such a brave little girl, to keep being nice and patient and to do everything you do. I know it's not easy. Once, something happened with my sister, and I haven't seen her for a very, very long time. I miss her a lot, too. I think about her every day, and I wish I could be with her. But having you here helps make it easier. You remind me of all the nice times that I had with her."

Twilight gazed up at Celestia, mystified. "Where did your sister go?" she asked sadly, confused.

Celestia fought to resist the urge to cry. "Somewhere... To help her get better. She became very tired, and upset, and needed a break from being a Princess."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I hope so..." Celestia returned to the matter at hoof. "I know I'm not your Mommy, but, I will do my best to do everything that she did for you, okay?" she smiled comfortingly.

Twilight paused, and returned her smile. "Okay."

"Come, now, Twilight. It's time to brush your mane."

Within moments, they stood before the mirror in Twilight's room, with Twilight prone on her bed, leaning against Celestia's warm, soft fur. She began to calm down as Celestia started to hum a melody, ever so careful in brushing the filly's mane, always keeping her comfort and preferences in mind. Twilight may not have had her parents there, and Celestia didn't have her sister there, but now, they had each other.

Twilight looked into the mirror, seeing them together, and smiled. Suddenly, she didn't feel alone anymore.

Shuddering, Twilight had become a morose mess, just barely managing to keep herself from releasing an emotional outburst. She began to talk quickly, unfiltered, thinking aloud; "You know, I just wish that I didn't feel like this all the time. Always trying to make up for everything she's done for me, a-a-and, feeling all this guilt that she didn't even cause, and whenever I talk to her about it she just feels worse because she doesn't want to hurt me, and I feel like somehow I'm just not good enough!"

The unicorn panted heavily, her face flushed with a deep red, fearful eyes glazed with shock as she saw Fluttershy and realized she heard everything. Not wanting to experience further embarrassment, Twilight forcefully composed herself, swallowing a knot of nervousness in her throat, ending with a flustered sigh.

"Okay, so I'm not quite at the peak of my mental health. It's just..." she opened her mouth to speak again, then looked back to Fluttershy, her ears lowering. "I never told any of you about what it was like living in Canterlot, have I?"

"It's alright, Twilight. You can tell me anything you want. I promise."

The pegasus had expected more of a resisting answer, but surprisingly, Twilight had begun to open up at this point. "Okay... Well... Fluttershy... You know how sometimes you spend a lot of time alone at your house, with your animals?"

Fluttershy was taken aback, but simply nodded. "Uh huh..."

"That's... Well... That's how I am with my books. You probably already knew that already, um -- it's just, well, see, I, I -- it's not that I don't like being around you, and the rest of our friends, I just need a break from everything sometimes." Twilight released another deep breath, pressure beginning to alleviate.

Her friend nodded once more. "I can understand that."

Twilight suddenly became more somber in disposition, turning her eyes to the bookshelf before her as she walked closer to it. "Really, though... Reading was almost all I had before I came here. Yes, there was Spike. Yes, there was Princess Celestia. And yes, there were my parents. But, aside from that... There was nopony else I felt like I could connect with."

She hung her head and closed her eyes. "Do you know how many ponies in Ponyville can recall the last ten years of Equestrian history? Hardly any. Here's me, having spent more than eighty percent of my life with my nose in a book, and not only am I upset that others don't know what I know, but I didn't have a lot of the experience I needed to interact with them. I guess this was because every time I tried to make friends in Canterlot, I'd always get discouraged. They considered me odd, eccentric, and... 'Simple'. So, I'd always just go back home to my books, which couldn't make me feel so rejected. I figured if I didn't try to make friends, I couldn't fail at it, and I'd save myself a lot of pain."

Twilight's horn glowed, and a select few books floated from their shelves, slowly circling around her. "Except, there are so many things that even a book or a class can't teach you. I didn't learn from any of them that it felt nice to help others. I didn't learn how to be a good, understanding listener. I didn't learn how to express myself, or clarify my feelings. Not from studying. All of these things I had to learn from becoming friends with people like you."

The distraught unicorn shook her head, "And yet, even with that, ponies in general seem to be so closed-minded. They don't want to think outside the box, or give something new a chance, because they're too used to all that they know -- even if it's wrong. Whenever I ask why they stick to unhealthy practices, I just get responses saying it's because 'that's just the way things are', or 'it's traditional', or 'it's how I was raised'. Nopony ever admits it was something taught to them, and that they just never questioned it. Or when they did question it, they were scolded, or given bad answers. Nopony ever admits that it's convenient for them, or that they never thought about it, and they just do it because that's what everypony else says or does."

The flustered mare returned to a state of lament. "But, when I was still living in Canterlot, I used to think that friendship couldn't exist. I'd overhear Moondancer and her friends gossiping about me behind my back, saying I valued studying more than relationships. One day, they started to be nice to me. They would invite me to things like parties and clubs instead of make fun of me. But I learned they were only interested in my company because of my connections to Princess Celestia. They were jealous, and thought she only took me in because my parents paid her, or knew some terrible secret she had to keep quiet."

She shook her head slowly. "I wanted to be more like the ponies I read about in books. To be wise and patient like Star-Swirl The Bearded, or brave and capable like Daring-Do. To be somepony worthy of Princess Celestia's attention. The ruler of Equestria, renowned for her boundless kindness and slowness to anger, hoofpicked me, a lowly Canterlot unicorn, to study under her. I couldn't understand it. I couldn't pass the magic examination test without witnessing the Sonic Rainboom, and yet she treats me like her equal in every way. It makes no sense at all."

Fluttershy could hear her friend's breath get slightly heavier. Twilight continued, "She sent me off to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She told me she didn't want me to live like her, stuck in those castle walls, unable to experience all that life had to offer, without so much attention and responsibility. At first, it was so hard. Staying here would keep me away from her, and staying there would keep me from you and our friends. I didn't want to be without either of you. But I was trying to be the student she wanted me to be."

Twilight started to slightly sniffle, tears forming in her eyelids. "After all, she's the Princess of Equestria, and the Sun Goddess, who stayed awake to raise the sun and the moon for a thousand years, and constantly managed everything around us. I'm just a young mare who works the library in Ponyville -- writing her once a week isn't too much to ask, is it? I had so little responsibility in comparison, and she never asked much of me at all -- so I tried my best to fulfill what she asked, and learn something new on friendship every week. I used to do it just for her, but, I realize that she wanted me to do it for myself."

Her eyes rested on a familiar spell book, causing her to thrust it back into its place on the bookshelf. "And when I couldn't think of what to write for her anymore... I... I wanted to go back. But I know she wanted me to stay here. I didn't want to disappoint her. I didn't want to fall short on what little she ever asked of me. That's when I got really desperate and tried to create a friendship problem, just so I could write about it. She... She's so perfect in every way, and I... I wanted to deserve all of the love she ever gave me. She keeps trying to reassure me that I already do, but, nothing I could ever do in my entire life could pay her back for what she gave me..."

The unicorn quietly sobbed, trying to remain intelligible. "I remember when her sister, Princess Luna, came back to Ponyville for the first time, on a Nightmare Night a few years past. She... She didn't know anything about friendship, either. She was stuck in what she only knew, in her cold, lonely life. Everypony else misunderstood her, and judged her. She only wanted to get along with everypony, and never meant anything bad. But she needed help. She reminded me so much of... Me... Of how I was. I could empathize with her so easily. So, I was compelled to help her."

Wiping the tears from her eyelids with a hoof, she continued. "I always did my best to help everypony else, and remain humble about it. I never tried to brag, or be arrogant. My first Winter Wrap Up in Ponyville, I screwed up everything that I tried, until I tried to help with organizing. And sure, Trixie's fans brought in the Ursa Minor that I stopped, but I was barely able to do that. And yes, I helped stop Nightmare Moon and Discord, but I couldn't have done it without you and the others. I never wanted to show off or boast about any of those things, because those were all I was good for. Just magic, books, organizing, and lecturing. Nothing else."

Twilight's head lowered. "Because I'm the Element of Magic. The element of cold, unfeeling logic. Not kindness, or generosity, or anything worth knowing anypony for. What's so harmonious about that? The only reason any of you are even my friends is because you had to show me how to be a good person."

She stopped talking, trying hard to silence her own crying. Fluttershy gingerly walked towards her, ever cautious to try not to upset her friend further.

"Oh, Twilight..." Fluttershy slowly, gently hugged the distraught unicorn. "You mean so much to me and our friends. You always have. You were always a good person, before any of us ever even knew you. You're always thinking and caring about how we feel, and you treat everypony around you kindly. You do deserve Celestia's love."

They slowly separated, although Fluttershy gingerly held Twilight's front hooves in her own. She added, "I may not know a lot about magic, personally. But, I do know that long, long ago, before pegasi ever met unicorns, they considered magic to be miracles. Fantastic things that were supposed to be impossible, or never happened. Like incurable diseases being cured, and everlasting youth. Things that seemed so amazing, or too good to be true, that witnessing it was one of the most magnificent things you could possibly experience."

Fluttershy slightly backed away, smiling. "And here you are. You always make sure that the best outcome possible happens. And that it isn't a good solution unless everypony's happy, and if that's not possible, then you find the next best thing. You enrich our lives every day, and bring so much joy just by being here. I don't know why you can't see that you're good enough for Princess Celestia, because it makes all the sense in the world. A unicorn having spent so much time feeling cold and alone, yet whose heartwarming friendliness brightens everypony and everything around her, especially when they need it the most. A much-needed friendliness that literally saved all of Equestria as we know it, more than once. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a miracle to me."

Twilight was deeply moved. Hearing firsthoof just how her existence had impacted Fluttershy, the one pony known as the epitome of kindness, helped convince her that she indeed had a place at Celestia's side. She tearfully embraced the pegasus once more, hugging her tightly and closely.

"Thank you."

Looking past her mane, Fluttershy noticed a book that Twilight had accidentally dropped onto the floor, 'Magical Artifacts'. A pang of tension hit her, remembering that she needed to hurry so that she could finally resolve the Panacea Crystal crisis.

'Well, Twilight's starting to feel better... But how is she going to take the news about the crystal? Should we talk about other things a little more to make sure she's calm enough first? Will she be understanding of the urgency, or will she be angered that it wasn't our first subject?'

The pegasus was overwhelmed by the problem. It would be a terrible shame if something happened to her before she could finish helping Twilight, but she'd never forgive herself if Skylar hurt them before she could fix this first.

Suddenly, Twilight backed away from her, looking around the room with a shocked expression. It was as if she just had an existential epiphany. Fluttershy, confused, tried to look for whatever was drawing her attention away, but couldn't find it.

"Twilight, what's wrong?"

Just then, Twilight squinted her eyes shut, and her horn glowed. Soon, the familiar magenta aura that surrounded all of her enchantments filled the room, encasing the house little by little. At this point, bewildered, Fluttershy finally recognized something familiar. She heard Vesper's voice in her mind.

'Fluttershy, please freeze time within the house now. I'm not here to hurt you or your friends. This is extremely important.'

She only briefly hesitated, somehow able to pick up on Vesper's sincerity once more. Promptly obeying, the pegasus placed her hoof on the sands, and soon all but Twilight and herself were moving or audible within the library. As if on cue, the royal purple smoke that Fluttershy attributed to the genie had appeared out of thin air, forming into his familiar silhouette before Vesper himself finally appeared.

Twilight was initially taken aback by the genie, but quickly composed herself, equally bewildered and fascinated. "You're... The voice that just asked me to cast the protection spell?"

"That's right," Vesper replied. His eyes rested on Fluttershy. "I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to tell you about this until now. It was too dangerous before. He could see me, and everything I did."

"Hold on a minute," Twilight interrupted. "I know you just told me that we're in danger, but please, in order, could you explain what's going on? What is it exactly that's endangering us, and how do you know Fluttershy?"

As she requested, the genie began to fill the unicorn in on mostly everything Fluttershy had already learned. He told Twilight about the impending threat that Skylar was bringing, and the Panacea Crystals and the sands within. As Fluttershy feared, she was upset that she hadn't known about this sooner, especially being such a serious situation, but was more in a mindset of getting prepared to address the emergency.

"But wait," said Twilight, "how can he be an alicorn if his parents were a pegasus and a unicorn? If that were the case, there would be alicorns all over Equestria by now."

"Remember, this was before crossbreeding amongst all ponies was socially accepted. The first few generations of these unions, like Skylar, possessed wings and a magical horn, but lacked the same raw power and ability that your goddesses Luna and Celestia have, being born of the original alicorn race. As such, this makes Skylar a kind of alternate type of alicorn, which genetically faded years later. Except, he's had many centuries to practice and nurture his magic, and has grown very powerful. So much so that I needed your protection spell to shield us from his awareness."

Fluttershy spoke up next. "And, are you really his genie, as he said?..."

Vesper was visibly weighed down by guilt. He closed his eyes, releasing a deep sigh. "Yes, it's true. I am his genie."

Although Fluttershy had suspected it before, both she and Twilight were shocked.

"It all started more than twelve hundred years ago. Skylar was still a colt just past his teen years. He was hopelessly in love with Auburn, an earth pony around his age. But being as how he was a pegasus, they had to keep their romance a secret, lest they be persecuted. So, they built a cabin outside of their town, right next to a waterfall by the forest, where they would escape to be together. Nearby was a cave that housed my chamber. Their strong affection for one another had freed me and woke me from my slumber. When I saw them together, and how happy they were with each other, I knew I had found proper candidates in my new masters. I was fond of their contagious positivity, and more than willing to begin serving them."

Vesper turned away from the mares, racked with shame. "Except, I was still very exhausted. It had been numerous centuries since I was last released. All of my previous masters had pried me from my chamber with strong emotions, but the wrong kinds; hatred, jealousy, vengeance. They used me to enact destructive purposes, such as war, genocide, and torture. It happened to me so often and for so long that my power was greatly diminished. It had weighed on my conscience a great deal, and I was eager for a change, wanting to create happiness instead of being helplessly forced to create suffering. But no matter how much I wanted it, my magic was still very weak, and so was I. So, I retreated back into my chamber to rest, and regain my strength. I figured that with such a strong love shared between them, Skylar and Auburn would be ready to summon me again when my time came."

It was here that a sharp emotional pain filled the genie. "Or, so I thought, anyhow. While I was still in a deep, deep sleep, their relationship was getting closer to being discovered by people who... Disapproved. It was becoming dangerous for them to stay together, yet they refused to separate. They devised an elaborate plan to run away together, to somewhere desolate and isolated enough that their hidden love would never be uncovered, and they could live the rest of their lives with each other. But, just before they were going to embark, Auburn vanished, leaving Skylar alone."

As he continued, Fluttershy noticed that Vesper felt deeply disgusted with himself. "He looked for her everywhere he could. He searched for the places they had planned to go, and she wasn't there. He waited for her for ten years. All the while, Skylar was still tormented by his peers, and other residents of his village who knew him. Once he had enough, he drowned himself to death in the lake below the waterfall. It was then and only then that I awoke once more, stirred by the boundless despair he experienced in his final moments. I was too late to save him, but I did manage to get his soul before it could vanish into nothing. Out of guilt, I placed him in his own personal purgatory where he could live again. Except, he didn't want this; he had wanted to vanish into nothing, after all. I tried to right my wrong by him, but I'd only made it worse, and it was too late to go back."

Vesper looked up towards the library's ceiling. "Furiously, he took out his pain on me, subjecting me to many horrors, and I accepted it all, feeling I deserved them. It was here that he was finally able to discover and nurture his dormant magic abilities, repressed in life through the spell that took his horn. Eventually, he realized he was losing the traits he held so dear in his life, such as kindness. Even with all he did to me, I still tried to help him, but was unable to; he still held me responsible for this, and he was right. Not wanting to inflict any more pain on anyone else, or suffer endless years in a purgatory without anyone he considered a friend, he created a spell which filtered out all the negative emotions he experienced, storing them to be locked away. But with no reasons to experience positive emotions, he became a hollow, empty shell, full of stoicism and apathy."

It was here that Fluttershy saw a new emotion on Vesper's face; great, and terrible, fear. He continued, "What neither of us had realized is that Skylar hadn't created a mere container with that spell. He created a sentient, living being. All it ever knew or experienced was the pain that Skylar passed on to it, and it grew with each time that Skylar would have hurt without it, which was constant, never ending. All that time trapped alone with us, unable to move or communicate, with nothing but it's own thoughts... It must have lost it's mind. As Skylar's magic grew, along with the diverted pain stored away, so had the pitiful creature, and it, too, became stronger. It grew to the point that it finally freed itself, taking over Skylar and forcing him to experience centuries of blocked pain all at once. Without the time or preparation to handle it, he became impossibly bitter and hostile. Just before the creature attacked him, Skylar had finally forgiven me, and accepted me as his friend..."

The pegasus's 'emotional bleeding' effect took in Vesper's great sadness as the genie kept speaking, "The creature has never left him ever since. He finally resumed torturing me, after centuries of leaving me be; but these new methods made the old ones feel like tickling. He wanted to find more places and more people to unleash his pain on, and devised a plan that would allow him to do so, one that would take many more years of waiting. To do this, Skylar needed to find someone who shared the same traits he had while he was alive, and get them not just to release me from the Panacea Crystal, but to die so that he can replace them in the living world. Or, at least, to spend enough time around the artifact to release him as well, although he'd have much less power that way. Fluttershy was not only the perfect match for this, but an Element of Harmony, as well; and without even one of them, the rest would be powerless to stop him."

The genie's gaze rested on Fluttershy. "At first, I had been suffering for so long that I didn't care anymore if helping him meant the death and suffering of countless people, as long as I stopped hurting. But then I got to meet you. You reminded me of how he used to be, before any of this happened. I felt guilty, seeing how good of a person you were, and remembering how sick and tired I already was of being a tool of suffering. So then I changed my mind, and decided to help you instead. I tried to warn you away so many times, to keep him from getting a chance to hurt you, but there was only so much I was able to do without him finding out. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to help you more, and that I failed to keep you from being involved in the perversion of his original goals."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Perversion of his original goals?..."

Vesper turned his attention to her, and paused. He took a deep breath, wincing. "While with me in his purgatory, before the creature took hold of him, Skylar witnessed historical events that were of great personal significance to him. They involved your leader, Princess Celestia. While Skylar himself hadn't been a motivation for her, the kind of issues he objected to, such as discrimination and war, were. Celestia has always been a fair and just ruler, judging her subjects not by how they worshipped her, but through the virtues they lived by. Her methods differed greatly from the rule of her parents, who had confused respect with fear, and listening with obedience, notions as dangerous as mistaking poison for water.

"While she was still a young and new leader, ruling alongside her sister Luna, Celestia inspected how Equestria fared under their parents' rule, and realized how unhealthy their influence was. She decided that in order for Equestria to function better in terms of society, several changes would need to be made. She wanted it to become a land where there would be no need for greed, or hunger. Where there was nothing to kill or die for, and hatred, intolerance, and war were things of the past. Where progress would lead to everyone's happiness. Where the effort and resources spent on weapons could instead be used to feed, clothe, and educate everyone.

"Celestia sought the advice of both her sister, Luna, and her best friend, Discord. Discord in particular had given her influence with his philosophy on anarchism, which she'd use to enable people to live and do as they pleased without harming anyone else, instead of forcefully taking what they wanted from each other. Then, she replaced lethal weaponry with harmless, painless ways of pacifying hostile people, and traded punishment for mutual understanding. Next, she erased currency in favor of a resource based economy, so that everyone would be guaranteed access to necessities required to live.

"Her next goal was doing away with the concept of non-individual territories that made their occupants feel superior and spiteful towards others, trading competition for cooperation, and uniting Equestria. The princess then focused on uniting everybody together to explore the nature and existence of afterlives and higher powers, for no one knew for certain if they were there and what they were like."

Vesper seemed reluctant to tell more, but could see that he had further captured both mares' curiosity. "However, there were those among Equestria's citizens who were displeased with Celestia's new changes. They became scared and angry, and began to rebel. Much of what her parents had done during their rule was not good for them, but they didn't know anything different, and were ready to defend it when challenged with the frightening unfamiliar. These people claimed that Celestia's message of peace, however well intended, was not good or true. That erasing suffering would also erase happiness. That Celestia was trying to take away their individualism, wanting them all to blend in one conformist group, that she alone would greedily rule over in it's entirety as a tyrant.

"However, they didn't understand that these things weren't what she wanted. Her last act was going to be to step down as ruler of Equestria, so that she could be equal to everyone, preferring for people to govern themselves instead of be ruled by a leader. To maintain their individuality with self-accountability and ultimate freedom, while bonding with others over what they shared in common, coexisting with everyone peacefully. Before she could do this, however, it was already too late. The people who disagreed were revolting, and it got worse every day. It reached the point that her followers using nonviolent civil disobedience could no longer prevent the angry mobs from causing harm. The way they saw it, the one in control had abused her power, and it was their responsibility as the people to take her down.

"In the resulting turmoil, Discord had become embittered and disillusioned upon seeing his dreams of a successful anarchist society shattered. He abandoned his old, harmonious philosophy in favor of living by the greedy and harmful ways of chaos. Celestia and Luna were forced to imprison him in stone to prevent him from worsening the riots. Luna herself, sympathizing with the concerns of the rioters, and jealous of her contributions to Equestria remaining ignored, believed Celestia had gone insane and needed to be stopped. The Moon Goddess effectively took over as the leader of the revolt, wanting a return to the way of their parents' rule. Although Celestia did so against her will, this forced her to resort to drastic responses.

"Many losses were suffered. The city that is now Ponyville today was utterly destroyed in the midst of battle, and would remain barren of life until Granny Smith Apple returned it to civilization. Almost everything that Celestia fought so hard to create was overtaken, and many who believed in her dream were killed for their choices. Celestia did the best she could to peacefully deal with each of the rioters, erasing their memories of the controversies and placing them back in their homes.

"In protest, Luna refused to lower the moon and end the night sky until Celestia reverted to the ways of their parents. Celestia attempted to reason and compromise with her, but this only infuriated Luna to the point of a violent, blind rage, and she attacked. In fear of her life, Celestia immediately cast a panic-fueled, powerful spell in self defense, accidentally stripping away most of Luna's powers and sending her to the moon.

"In spite of her power and wisdom, Celestia had not yet figured out a way to bring Luna back. She searched tirelessly every day to find the right spell that would reunite her with her sister, all the while cleaning up the mess of the conflict and returning many of her parents' ways out of guilt. The Sun Goddess held no grudge towards her kin; she knew that Princess Luna was just as noble and cared for their people as much as she did, and only did what she believed was right. She wanted to make sure by the time Luna returned to Equestria, it resembled the land she knew and loved, and she never forgave herself for unintentionally banishing her.

"While some amount of good changes had come out of Celestia's revolutionary attempts, it was outweighed by the damage and losses Equestria suffered. Its citizens were unprepared to accept Celestia's ways into their hearts, and thus disobeyed any laws that they disagreed with. Luna would return from the moon after a thousand years, and by then, the Celestial Revolutionary Conflict had mostly been erased from history, with few remnants to even suggest it once ever happened.

"From within his otherworldly purgatory, Skylar watched the events of the entire conflict, and it deeply resonated with him. He had much time to think over why the attempts went wrong, which parts of Celestia's philosophy he agreed and disagreed with, and how the proposed ways could have been passed with little to no refusal from Equestria's citizens. He agreed with the concept of everyone living together in harmony, and wanted to see it come true. Before the creature ever overtook him, Skylar initially wanted to give Celestia's dream a second chance, believing it would be better received in a future year when Equestria had advanced in societal progress and open-mindedness.

"He was going to enlist your help to bring him back into the living world, so that he could pursue this. Before he could do it, the creature seized him, twisting and inverting his goal; instead, he now wanted to punish Equestria for rejecting Celestia's dream, and wanted to revive the atrocities he felt they perpetuated by insisting on keeping the archaic rules. Hence, his threat of bringing violence, discrimination, and hatred back to your world."

Vesper had finished explaining, and Fluttershy was astonished and bewildered at this newfound knowledge.

"How... Dare... You..." Twilight's voice growled.

Confused, Fluttershy turned to look at her unicorn friend, shocked to find her in a boiling rage.

"How DARE you!!! I've known Princess Celestia for all of my life! She's shared everything she knows with me, and she'd never lie to me! She never said anything about this, ever! And here you are trying to say her people made her out to be some... Some kind of tyrant! This is unacceptable! Unforgivable! Get out!!! Both of you, get out!!!"

At that moment, Twilight became completely still, frozen in her outraged yelling.

Fluttershy's hoof slowly slipped off her pouch of time sands. She was fighting all urges to sob, fearing that she had just completely destroyed her friendship with the unicorn, first by neglecting to tell her about the Panacea Crystal, then by letting in Vesper, who revealed Celestia's secret. She sighed quietly, looking down at the sands as she rested her hoof back onto them, squinting her eyes shut as she focused. The pegasus had rewound time to the point that Twilight had started to feel better, embracing Fluttershy after hearing her heartwarming encouragement. It had effectively wiped the unicorn's memory of Vesper's existence. The pegasus was about to resume time's flow, then checked behind her for Vesper. He was gone.

'Vesper?'

'You've achieved your wish, Fluttershy. You've made peace with all of your friends. Please don't look for me. I can't help you anymore. I need to go now, or Skylar will know I protected you.'

'Please, Vesper, don't leave!'

Fluttershy waited, but received no reply. Disheartened, she placed her head back against Twilight's neck, wiping tears away with her hoof before embracing her again. She lamented that she wouldn't be able to talk more with her friend and solve whatever problems remained, but she couldn't risk her getting harmed by Skylar. It hurt, very badly. What would they talk about if Fluttershy could tell her this might be the last time they see each other again? There would be no more pondering -- time resumed.

"Twilight, I-I'm sorry, but I've just remembered something really important I have to go do. It's been nice seeing you." Fluttershy tried to part from the hug gently, wanting to hurry, but not wanting to hurt Twilight's feelings. Soon, she slipped out of the unicorn's hooves, and swiftly trotted towards the front door.

Twilight sniffled. "Okay, Fluttershy. Thank you for listening to me, and helping me. I'll see you later, okay?"

Those last five words sank Fluttershy's heart. She stopped at the doorway, turning to look back at one of her first friends, holding back tears. She simply smiled, warmly, and nodded once. Then, she galloped away.

The entire run back to the edge of the Everfree Forest, with the world around her frozen, Fluttershy felt light headed. It was like she was having another dream, or undergoing an out of body experience. But she knew this was definitely real. She could tell by the way her aching, morose heart pounded against her chest, the salty sting of tears copiously flowing from her eyelids, audible sobs that couldn't remain trapped in her throat. The voices of her friends echoed in her mind, hearkening back to all the joyous memories they experienced together.

'I can't even say goodbye to them.'

She squinted her eyes shut for a moment.

'For all I know, this could be the end. Skylar might take me with him when I undo his work. Or he could kill me when I'm trying. But, at least my friends are happy, now... Mostly...'

If she wanted to, she could have taken Twilight with her to stand more of a chance with her magic. But this meant a likely shattered friendship, and the possibility of the unicorn dying.

'I have to do this alone. But then, at least, if Skylar gets me, no one will die but me.'

Her hooves finally skidded to a halt, stopping her before the tree with "P.C." carved into it. Fluttershy was about to begin digging, then stopped to think.

'I should take the Panacea Crystal back to when I first found it, and destroy it, or abandon it... But... What if I can take it to the Star-Swirl the Bearded wing in Canterlot Castle? That's where all the time spells are... Celestia could help me... Or, what if I go back in time more than twelve hundred years, when Skylar was alive, and keep him from killing himself, and reunite him with Auburn? Ohh, I don't know... I've had no time to plan this out at all, and I have to make a decision really soon, or else Skylar can come back and hurt everypony!'

Fluttershy continued to panic, pressuring herself to hurry and make a decision -- all of Equestria potentially depended on what she did now.

Suddenly, a bright flash appeared just before her, briefly blinding her. Right where she was about to dig in front of her hooves was a small, white notecard. Bewildered, she opened it with her hoof to read.

'If you want to learn the rest of the truth, return to the cave where you found the crystal. Follow the light to the deepest point.'

Then just as quickly as it had appeared, the notecard vanished.

"Imagine all the people,

Living life in peace,

You may say I'm a dreamer,

But I'm not the only one,

I hope someday you'll join us,

And the world will be as one"

• John Lennon's "Imagine"