Rainbow Rush

by 7-4

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Alternate Universe
Length: 784

Inspired by some weird math me and an irl friend did, and ignited my a recent comment on a story

What is so spectacular about the Sonic rainboom? What is it really?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-05 22:17:09 UTC

Applied Aerodynamics chapter 7

Applied aerodynamics chapter seven

Written by the head of the pegasi physics institute, High Flier

As many of you may know, there is a barrier that prevents pegasi from reaching their true top speeds. While many pegasi have demonstrated theoretically by using Su pacrus' theorem (1000[W/b]= S/atm) Of course I have no idea why you wouldn't know what that represents, you DID read the first 6 chapters. W= wing length b=body mass in kg S= top speed that they can indeed go faster than the max speed for fliers that I stated in the very first chapter, 6187 kmh, attempts at doing so will always fail. A few vague reports involving failed magic zones have shown that magic has something to do with the max speed. I will hesitate no longer. The reason why fliers speeds have been capped is because of the speed of magic.

As any unicorn will tell you, magic works at the speed of light. This is complete garbage. Magic works at a speed completely dependent on how much magic is in the area. Because of the magic that Earth ponies apply to the ground in their daily lives, magic appears to work instantaneously. Because of this, the contemporary laws of physics [WHICH ARE WRONG are based on the speed of magic. Therefore, whenever anything goes faster than the speed of magic [such as say light] it will observe the true way that physics interact with the world.

Another thing that unicorns will tell you is that magic has no mass. More garbage! Magic has a relative mass based on the density of magic. Quite literally, the more magic there is, the more magic there is. If you take a sample of air where unicorns have lived for centuries and compare the sample to that of laboratory synthesized air, you will see a difference in mass. A very slight difference in mass that can easily be attributed to the errors of scales. This is important because, as any flier knows, the more stuff in the air, the slower you'll be forced to go.

The reason why the speed of magic affects the speed of pegasi and other fliers is directly because of magic. Magic has infected every pore of our bodies. Whenever a flier attempts to break the fabled Rainboom barrier, they are in effect, trying to force their bodies to release the bonds that should theoretically hold their cells together. The brain, sensing this, aborts trying to break the barrier. The affected cells simply become dust. [It is interesting to note that the brain of a pegasus does not gain this sense until after the 9th year.]

But, enough on Biology. Several theories have been presented by me and my colleagues on ways to break through the barrier. Their theories were wrong and involved unicorns. Theoretically, a sufficiently motivated pegasus could force the sense of self demise to not interfere with their flight, and that brings me to my real world example.

Rainbow Dash

Many of you know of Rainbow Dash from her part in the take down of the supposed Nightmare moon. No real evidence of Nightmare moon exists besides that scrambled testimonies of a few townsfolk. But few of you may know of her role in rewrite modern Equestria's physics. She is a visionary in her chosen field, pioneering many of the greatest tricks that happen to mock unicorns known to all of Equestria. Her Buccaneer blaze itself caused the rewrite of the unicorn book Weather theory. It also shattered String theory and super string theory with it's quite clear dismissal of it's key components. The ability to conjure a lightning bolt with the power to wipe away the actual memory of the act implies that the base theory of magic [That it travels at the speed of light] is wrong. Memory spells are instant, and the audience is able to cheer and get the very clear [and true] impression that it was awesome and amazing before their memories are forcefully faded to just give the impression that they should want to see Rainbow Dash perform again. Many unicorns have claimed that her ability to use magic should disqualify her from performing in front of crowds, [and thus invalidating the point and indeed the inspiration for her numerous addition to science] but thankfully, a look at the modern equestria rulebook says that any pegasus who can use magic is royalty and of courseunicorns would never let someone so unroyal join their little snobfest they call a royalty.

But I digress. The next sub chapter will cover Rainbow Dash's completely true journey through time and space and her eventual disproval of paradox theory.