Cute Mark Crusaders Destroyers of Worlds, Yay!

“You’re sendin’ us where?”

“Back to school,” Maneson repeated. “Manehatten International, one of the best in the city.”

“But you said you would find us a job if we brought you a story,” Sweetie Belle said, still in her business-like monotone. Scootaloo and Applebloom exchanged glances. That was getting more than a little unsettling.

Maneson smiled suddenly. It was an unpleasant expression, utterly devoid of any of the positive qualities normally associated with smiles.

“I am. You see, Manehatten International is where some of the richest business ponies and politicians in Equestria send their children to be boarded. It’s a gold mine of gossip and rumors, and you’re the drill I’m going to use to finally start digging it up.”

The three fillies considered that. Scootaloo spoke up first.

“What’s in it for us?”

“A place to stay, food to eat and you get a top-flight education paid for by me.” He paused. “Through an intermediary. What else could you ask for?”

“A paycheck,” Sweetie Belle said in a robotic monotone.

“What?!” Maneson shouted in a harsh cry of outrage. “What do kids like you need with a full paycheck? I’m being generous here. Saintly even! Why I oughta throw you greedy little parasites out and find somepony else who’s more—“

“If you knew of somepony else our age who you trusted to do the job right you would have hired them by now,” Sweetie Belle interjected, cutting the rant short. Maneson tried to say something but Sweetie Belle jabbed a hoof in his face and continued.

“Full front-line stringer pay for all three of us, to be deposited in bank accounts of our choosing. One year’s guaranteed paid position if this project goes wrong. Take it or leave it.”

Maneson’s face turned beet red. “Why you little, I should—“

“Take. The. Deal.”

Being interrupted only seemed to fuel his anger. “Listen filly, your column may have been good but I don’t have to take—“

“TAKE THE DEAL!” Sweetie Belle shouted, real emotion sounding in her voice for the first time since leaving Ponyville. All three of the other ponies took a step back, and all around newspaper staff stopped to stare. Greenish sparks began to fly off of Sweetie Belle’s horn.

Maneson took a moment to scan the newsroom and directed a glare that was the textbook definition of the term “evil eye” at the on-lookers. “I’m not paying you to stand around gawking! Get back to work!”

Once the newsroom returned to normal he looked back at Sweetie Belle and said in a quieter voice, “Deal. I’ll have my secretary draw up the contract.”

Without another word Sweetie Belle turned and walked away. Applebloom and Scootaloo tried to think of something to say to their new employer, than trotted after her. Once they were gone, Maneson pulled out a shotglass and a bottle of something alcoholic. He poured himself a slug.

“I hope I don’t end up regretting this,” he said to nopony in particular. He thought about that for a moment.

Oh who the buck am I kidding?”

“Sweetie Belle, wait up!”

Sweetie Belle stopped at Applebloom’s voice, though she did not turn. The earth pony and the Pegasus caught up to her on the sidewalk outside the entrance to the newspaper.

“Yes?”

“We’re, ah, we’re starting to get…”

“We’re worried about you. You’ve been acting kinda scary,” Scootaloo said bluntly.

“Scary,” Sweetie Belle said, still in a monotone.

“Yeah…” Applebloom replied. “Ah know you’re upset about-“

“About what, Applebloom?” Sweetie Belle answered, too calmly. “About how I killed Fluttershy and made everypony back home hate us? About how I dragged my best friends down with me?”

The other two blanched. “It wasn’t your fault!” Scootaloo insisted. “You couldn’t have known!”

“Couldn’t have known?” Sweetie Belle was starting to sound angry. “Couldn’t have known?!” Her eyes flashed with a red light, and sickly little sparks of energy flew from her horn again. “I should have known!” she shouted, her voice cutting. “We all should have known better!”

Her voice dropped, became something cutting and dangerous. “But you know what? You got lucky. You’re going to be able to forget about it. I can’t. Look at me. My cutie mark is in making ponies feel horrible about themselves. And if being a monster is my special talent, than a monster is what I’m going to be!”

A shudder seemed to go through the ground around the white unicorn filly. Then, suddenly the red light went away and Sweetie Belle smiled innocently. “So what’s say we go find some dirt on some rich ponies! Cutie Mark Crusaders Undercover Operatives, Yay!”

“Yay,” Applebloom echoed dully.

“Yeah, yay,” Scootaloo agreed. They watched Sweetie Belle trot on ahead.

“This won’t end well,” Scootaloo said as she started after their friend.

“Oh buck me, he’s getting up again!”

Trixie stared in disbelief as the gigantic earth pony rose from the ground, blood flowing freely from his manifold bullet wounds. A crazed grin split the stallion’s face as smoke issued from his nostrils, smoke drawn from the blunt clenched between his teeth. As Trixie watched, unbelieving, the earth pony stomped hard on the stone floor of the warehouse, smashing a suitcase-sized chunk of concrete free. He quickly turned and gave the makeshift boulder a hard buck, sending it flying towards the griffon mobsters that had opened fire on him half a minute before. The projectile clipped one on the shoulder, sending him flying, before smashing into the other lead griffon, pulping him against the wall with a squishing sound that was audible even over the sound of stony impact.

The remaining griffon, Swift Claw, pulled the trigger of his machine gun again, sending a nearly solid stream of lead at the pot-crazed berserker, but the earth pony was ready this time. He reared up on his hind legs and began to swat the bullets out of the air with impossible speed and accuracy. He caught the last one between his teeth, chewed it and spit it out, all without dislodging the burning blunt for a second.

A clicking sound came from the Tommy gun. Swift Claw looked down at his weapon as if it had betrayed him. He looked up to see the huge tan stallion rushing him, forehoof swinging towards his beak in a roundhouse blow. He went flying back with a crack like dry wood snapping. Blood splattered back onto Trixie, who gulped and took a nervous step back. The maniacal earth pony caught the motion and turned his attention to her, penis swelling to enormous proportions from drug-fueled rape lust.

Trixie raised a hoof and pointed towards the back of the factory.

“Behind you!”

The earth pony froze, then sniggered, a wild giggling fit seizing him. Did she really think that was going to work?

“Behind you, stupid!” Trixie reiterated.

With a low growl the earth pony resumed his menacing advance, then staggered forward as a heavy weight landed on him from behind. Sharp talons sunk into his throat and began to drag across his jugular, leaving a bloody gash that almost reached the stallion’s spine. The bong fell from his lips and he fell forward, dying.

The griffin, Blood Beak, gave a savage shriek, then fell backwards, moaning as pain as he clutched his wounded shoulder. Trixie looked faintly pleased.

“Foolish stallion. The Great and Powerful Trixie even told you that the attack would come from behind. The blood-soaked griffon shot her a glare.

“The hell was that all about?”

“Trixie needed to make sure that he did not turn back and see you,” she answered calmly. “Trixie knew that he would think Trixie was using the oldest trick in the book and as such keep his eyes on her.”

Blood Beak took that in for a second. “Makes sense.” He gave another gasp of pain. Trixie looked him over analytically.

“How bad is it?”

“Can’t move it. Think my shoulder’s busted.”

Trixie pursed her lips. “And Swift Claw?”

When no answer was forthcoming Trixie turned to see Swift Claw’s corpse laying against the wall about ten feet away, head smashed open by the impact. She gulped again.

“The buck was that all about?”

“It’s the drug,” Blood Beak replied, smashing the bong with his uninjured front left. “Messes with your body, makes you crazy. Sometimes it amps them up like that.” He nodded towards the earth pony stallion’s long member, which stood erect even in death. “Makes em dangerous.”

Trixie took all that in. “Trixie did not know the effects were so powerful.”

“This one time, a bunch of kids got ahold of some. Turned their entire school into a bloodbath. Nasty stuff.”

He reached into his coat and pulled out a bottle topped with an oily rag. He was awkwardly trying to light it when Trixie spoke again.

“The drug, it affects the user through the smoke, yes?”

“Yeah.”

Trixie glared at the griffon. “Then what will happen if you light an entire warehouse full of it on fire?”

Blood Beak stared at his cocktail, then the crates filling the warehouse, then back at the cocktail.

“Oh. Right.”

He put the incendiary away.

“So, if we can’t burn it, what can we…”

The sound of scraping on concrete cut him off. Trixie and Blood Beak turned to see more ponies coming from behind the stacked crates. Each one of them had a large blunt clenched in their muzzles.

“Oh buck me.”