Thirty Minute Express Train to Story Town

by Predhack

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Angel, Romance, Random
Length: 49984

One shots based on various prompts

An ever expanding collection of oneshots and short little stories that will likely cover a range of themes. Most of them are submissions from the Thirty Minute Pony Stories tumblr. The prompt or idea that spawned the story will be added at the bottom of each one.

Originally submitted to TMP on tumblr as Hurricane's Ghost.

Published 2012-11-12 10:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-11 06:27:35 UTC

Promise

Everypony winced as the loose storm lashed lightning across the face of the building. The storm made upper sections of the roof to ignite while the lower section creaked and groaned ominously as the water from the cloud immediately put out any fires before they could spread. The angry storm continued to boil around the building as pegasi swooped in carving away sections of the dark cloud. Somewhere in the building something collapsed with a loud crash, and the mayor could be heard to let out a terrified squeak as she mentally tallied the cost of repairing the damage.

Away from the action a grey pegasus sat, carefully obscured from sight of the crowd gathered around town hall by the pair of ponies with her. The mare was soaked and hopelessly tried to fix her mane which looked like it had had a couple close calls with the lightning as well. She looked at the mares with half a piteous expression, before burrowing her head in her hooves.

“I just don’t know what went wrong,” the soot stained said quietly.

Applejack exchanged a look with Fluttershy and then with the town hall, which was now mostly clear of the cloud but was clearly the worse for wear as pegasus ponies directed cloud fragments to extinguish fires inside the hall where the rain hadn’t been able to put them out fast enough. They sat quietly for a moment, patting the shivering grey mare gently as they tried to think of something comforting to say. Among the list of Derpy’s screw ups this top the list for destructiveness.

It couldn’t be said to be entirely her fault either. Over the next few minutes they managed to coax the story from the upset mare. The storm was supposed to have been handled by a squad of weather ponies to help spread it evenly over Ponyville. Derpy’s squad had the other two pegasi that were supposed to be helping her call in sick, each expecting the other to be able to get someone to help with the storm. Derpy was new addition to the weather patrol, another job change that was necessitated by the combination of the mare’s clumsiness, being easily distracted, and general bad luck. Not knowing the proper procedure, the mare had tried to make moving the cloud around easier by packing it up tightly like she’d been told, an errant down draft later the cloud had collided with town hall and gone off on the building like an misty bomb.

“It’s alright Derpy. Maybe it’s not as bad as it looks,” Fluttershy offered cautiously. Her statement punctuated a moment later by a crash as something in the town hall gave way again.

“A-nope,” Applejack replied, “I reckon that most of the damage is probably inside the building where there was no weather proofin’ for it. There’s a reason you don’t take clouds inside of non-cloud houses.”

Derpy groaned miserably, “Oooh, what’m I gonna do, I can’t afford to fix this. The mayor’s gonna throw me in prison, or get me banished, or banish me and throw me in a prison where they banish me to.”

Applejack and Fluttershy exchanged another glance, and Applejack suggested Fluttershy go get a bucket to help clean Derpy up.

“Now listen, sugarcube,” Applejack said, helping the pegasus to her feet, “I know yer feelin’ low but I’m gonna help you set this straight. I’m not quite sure how but I’m not gonna let you deal with this. This ain’t jus’ yer fault.”

“Thanks, Applejack,” Derpy answered back with a lopsided smile, “I’m sorry I keep screwing up…”

“Now, none of that now,” Applejack admonished, “You just gotta learn to be more careful and remember to ask when you don’t know somethin’ next time. Alright?”

“Yeah,” Derpy nodded sadly, “How’re you gonna fix this. The mayor’s gonna be awfully mad.”

“Don’t you worry your pretty head about it, I’ll come up with somethin’. Have I ever let my best gal down?”

“No.”

“Thas’ right. Now, you get over to Fluttershy an’ get cleaned up. I’m gonna talk to the mayor.”

“Thanks Applejack,” Derpy said unconvincingly.

Applejack looked around before pulling the pegasus mare into a lingering kiss that left Derpy dazed.

“Apples…” she said numbly.

“I’ll keep this comin’ down on you, alright darlin’? I promise,” Applejack pressed earnestly, “Okay?”

“Okay,” Derpy replied, still a bit dazed.

“Thas’ good. Now you go get cleaned up. I just had an idea that the mayor may go for,” Applejack said, turning toward where the mayor was fretting in front of her ruined building, “There’s a rodeo coming up after all.”

Author's Note

The prompt: Ship Derpy with one of the Mane Six.

More stories with this prompt from other authors.

My first ever submission to the TMPS crew. Direct copy pasta.

What To Expect When You're Expecting the End of the World

My Faithful Student and Agent, Twilight Sparkle,

I’m sorry to send this letter on such short notice, but Luna and I have been quite busy preparing for the end of Equestria as we know it. We would appreciate it if you would get everyone ready to help in the wake of the upcoming apocalypse as we try to ease ponykind through Equestria’s destruction as gently as possible. Your skills and expertise in particular will be most helpful. Please expect another letter from me later today, for now I have several other letters to write before we begin saving ponykind.

Your loving teacher,

Princess Celestia

Twilight reread the letter held in her magical grip again before turning to her friends, who had lined up in a military fashion. They were all equipped with saddlebags full of all the things they’d need to make use of their special talents, and they tried to keep an appropriately stiff upper lip with differing degrees of success. Pinkie Pie in familiar kept snorting and giggling about how silly the whole thing was.

“Alright girls,” Twilight said forcefully, cutting off the giggles in the ranks, “Princess Celestia’s letter says that today Equestria will be destroyed.”

Twilight paused to give her friends a moment to express their distress at this most untimely news, “She goes on to say that she’ll need our help to prevent it. She wants us all on our hooves and ready to go as soon as she sends word of what we need to do.”

“Wait a sec, sugarcube,” Applejack cut in, “How exactly did she say the world was gonna end?”

“Um,” Twilight hedged, “She wasn’t really clear on that part, it must have been really sudden because she wrote the letter like she was in a big hurry.”

“So how did she ask us to prepare,” Rainbow asked.

“She wasn’t really clear on that either… She just said she wanted ‘everyone ready to help.’ She didn’t say exactly how but since she didn’t mention the elements of harmony I assumed this is probably going to be something like the time we had to deal with that dragon.”

“But… what if it’s not a dragon or a horrible monster this time,” Fluttershy interjected.

“I DON’T KNOW,” Twilight shouted, cutting off the yellow pegasus who fell back in line with a flinch, “I’m sorry Fluttershy, I just don’t know. The princess’s letter didn’t say anything about what’s coming and all my books on surviving the world being destroyed described the world ending in an obvious and easy to see coming way. I’m just doing the best I can with the information I have.”

“OH! We should have a world ending party,” Pinkie jumped in, literally, “Then everyone in Ponyville will know what’s coming and we can get their help if we need it!”

“Pinkie Pie, I don’t know if that’s a party would help. I don’t think the princess would want us worrying everyone unnecessarily until we’re sure nothing can be done. Since the way the world is ending isn’t obvious she probably wants to keep it low profile until we’re sure it can’t be saved.”

“What? But parties always help,” Pinkie replied, “The very idea that they aren’t goes against everything that I know! Seriously, Twilight, we need to throw a big party for the whole town!”

“No parties Pinkie. We’ve got to take this seriously, the princess is counting on us.”

Twilight what turned to look at Rarity expectantly, who stared back blankly.

“What?” Rarity asked, a little warily.

“Don’t you have anything to interrupt with?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“No. I think you’ve explained everything quite succinctly.”

“Ugh, thank you! Now if there are no more interruptions-“

“Uh, Twi?” Spike interjected from where he sat looking out the window.

“WHAT?! What is it? Do you have something to add to this little pick-on-Twilight party?!”

Twilight immediately thrust a hoof in the direction of the pink pony who had already produced her party cannon from parts unknown and stopped her with a glare.

“NOT THAT KIND OF PARTY!”

Everypony stood in silence for a moment while Twlight panted and glared at them.

“Um, I was just wondering. Does the end of the world look like a wall of purple light that’s erasing everything in its path as it grows closer?”

“Ugh, I don’t know Spike. It could look like any number of things,” Twilight answered, exasperated.

“Oh. Alright then.”

“Wait… Why do you ask?”

“Um, there’s a wall of purple light heading toward Ponyville that looks like its erasing everything on the other side of it.”

“WHAT?” the mares cried, running to the window and nearly trampling Spike.

Outside the library a wave of purple light rushed toward Ponyville, on the far side of it the landscape was barren and wiped clean of life. The mountains and Canterlot in the distance were gone.

“What is that?” somepony asked.

“I… I don’t know… It looks a lot like my-“ Twilight started to answer, before the wave put on a burst of speed and suddenly rand across the library.

The world disappeared in a flash of purple white light, then rumbled as everything in it but the pegasi dropped three feet. Books and assorted instruments fell from their places and the four wingless ponies, plus one dragon all landed in a heap next to the window.

Outside the world appeared much the same except that the sun had jumped ahead by what looked like several hours and the library appeared to be sunken into the ground lower than most of other buildings around Ponyville. In the distance the hills appeared to have deformed slightly but all stayed in relatively the same position.

The ponies groaned as they disentangled themselves and got back on their hooves. Outside ponies were leaving their homes and looking around confused, trying to understand what had just happened. Spike groaned as the last pony got off him and looked like he was going to throw up.

“Oh dear, is everyone alright?” Fluttershy asked looking down at her friends.

“My teleportation spell,” Twilight finished.

Further discussion was curtailed as Spike belched loudly producing a scroll. Twilight wasted no time opening it up and reading it, her friends peaking over her shoulder to read along.

Dear Twilight,

I’m afraid this will have to be a quick letter as I’m still watching to make sure the rest of Old Equestria made it through the teleport. I just wanted to drop you a quick note to thank you for alerting Ponyville to the change. Luna and I were very busy finding a planet that we could plop down most of Equestria’s crust onto and didn’t have time to send out a proper warning.

We appreciate your diligence in this matter and hope you’re ready to help the Royal Cartographers society as they start a nationwide survey to acquaint ourselves with any changes in geography between New and Old Equestria.

I’ll look forward to your report on your actions through this incident.

Yours,

Princess Celestia

PS: Luna would like you to let everyone know that we didn’t have time to grab the moon before we left but we will have it back in time for tomorrow night. She’s very excited as New Equestria already came with a new moon and she wants to see what she can do with two.

Twilight gulped and looked at her friends’ flat stares from her friends.

“Well, now what?” Rainbow Dash rudely asked.

Twilight sighed.

“Now you guys go help Pinkie Pie throw a we-just-survived-the-end-of-the-world-let-me-tell-you-all-about-it party.”

“I told you a party would help,” Pinkie Pie chirped.

“What are you gonna do, Twi?” Applejack asked.

“I think I’m going to stay here and write a new book about this weird situation so nothing like this ever happens to me again,” Twilight said in an aggravated tone.

“What’ll you call it?”

“I don’t know I’ll think of something.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: There’s only one day. One day, before Equestria ends.

For more with this prompt from other authors go here.

The Dresses of Madness

Twilight jumped as the door to the library banged open and Rarity burst in. The fashionista pony was a mess, her mane was disheveled , she breathed heavily, her eyes were tired and red rimmed, lines of cloth were draped across her body that were shot through with lines where it had been cut torn and ripped.

“Twilight,” she panted, “Help… horror… attacking.”

“Rarity are you alright what’s going on,” Twilight asked.

Rarity’s response was overpowered by a horrifying scream from outside. As though a dozen pony voices were screaming for aid and being shouted down by the high pitched screams of some greater predator.

“What in the world? What is that thing?”

Rolling down the street outside the library was a beast, its house sized body a congeries of unnatural shapes, its mluti-colored skin undulated and shifted in and out of it as unseen forces within writhed and twisted, glittering eyes clung to the surface only to vanish as quickly they appeared. The hollow terrified voices of ponies murmured within the beasts groaning form accompanied by fluting pipe like tekili-li sounds.

“It got Sweetie and Opal, “ Rarity gasped out, “Twilight, are you still working with that parasprite the princess sent you?”

“What? Yes, but what?”

“Good, “ Rarity interrupted, “I need it and the notes you have for the spell for making them eat certain foods and you need to grab everything you need for your force field spell.”

“What? But Rarity,” Twilight started.

“No time to explain dear we have to move quickly. Every moment it feeds. It feeds and grows. If we don’t move quickly it will find us before we’re ready,” Rarity spoke in a voice of quiet desperation. She trotted in place eager to be moving.

“Alright, my things are in the basement. But the forcefield spell takes time to set up how’re we going to set it up?”

“We’re not doing it here darling we have to get to the park.”

Twilight rushed around her basement lab grabbing things and directing Rarity what to grab herself.

Rarity ran, the horror was after her. It had chased all the way from the Boutique. It lumbered slowly but with determination in Rarity’s direction, diverting only to capture ponies that got closer than her.

She chanced a glance over her shoulder and saw as a noose of rope fell over the leading of the horror.

“Settle down there partner. Rarity! What is that thing?” Applejack called, pulling the thing back with her lasso.

Rarity gasped in horror.

“Drop the rope! LET GO OF THE ROPE, APPLEJACK!”

Apple jack had time to give Rarity a confused look before the unpredictable form of the monstrosity changed, sliding jerkily out of the ropes grasp as little protuberances appeared and grabbed it. Applejack was reeled in screaming a dozen feet before she reflexively dropped the lasso for it to be slurped up like a soup noodle. The horror’s mass appeared to well up into a small mountain over the earth pony. Applejack had a single moment to scream before the beastly thing crashed down over her. There was a moment of stillness, and then the beast began to move again, with more vigor and kick in its movements. It’s first shaky lunge smashed into a building and as it pulled away nigh-invisible glistening threads attached to the building. An unlucky pony, thinking it saw a chance at freedom dashed for the opening, becoming entangled and pulled into the horrific thing, unable to do anything but scream.

Rarity watched on in horror, and turned to run again.

Twilight and Rarity ran through the streets of Ponyville, the monstrosity’s now elongated form following them as Rarity kept calling names out to, Sweetie, Applejack, Daisy, Roseluck, Matilda, and so on. Each of them a victim of the thing’s hunger, she explained. While they’d been in the library they had though they heard the crackling boom of Rainbow Dash hitting rainboom speeds but all that they saw as they left was that the beast had redoubled its speed, it’s flesh shifting colors more rapidly than before.

They’d been halfway to the park when Pinkie Pie called a greeting to them, bouncing on the thing like a trampoline, each bounce causing ripple to flow across the thing’s surface, retaliatory tendrils reaching out to grab where Pinkie had momentarily made contact. Several bounces later the beast stopped entirely and as Pinkie landed, instead of bouncing her legs sank into the thing, lines of flesh folding up around her and tying in a smooth knot above her. Horrifically, the thing flexed around the pony, her pony body visible shivering underneath the things flesh before sinking deeper into it. The beast now moved with great bounding leaps. It’s faint tekili-lis sounding disturbingly like gigglng now, along side the tortured screams and moans of ponies.

The pair dashed into the park now, dropping the reagents they had collected only for them to fall into Twilight’s magical grip as she arranged them with organized precision. Rarity scanned scrolls as she pulled a metal box with a padlock on it from her bags. The horror rushed into the park as Twilight finished her preparations. It extended into the air and appeared to wiggle, looking like nothing but a creature that had lost of its prey.

“Rarity, it’ll be inside the field before I can get the spell up,” she hissed as it lurched across the border of where the spell lines were.

“It’s supposed to be dear, now you get out and whatever you do don’t release the forcefield for anything,” Rarity told her, dropping the notes and stepping to the inside of the spell circle as far from the beast as she could get.

Twilight obediently stepped out as her horn lit up in preparation for the spell.

“But what-“

“No matter what, dear,” Rarity cut her off, pulling a final item from her bag, pillaged from one of the stores on the run to the park, Rarity reached out with her magic and pulled the tab on the top of the metal container.

The effect was immediate something deep in the creature lurched and oriented on the mare. Rarity shivered as the great and terrible thing began creeping toward her on horrid pseudopodia. Gritting her teeth she wrapped her magic on the tiny metal padlock on the fist tiny metal cage.

“OPAL DINNER TIME!” Rarity called, snapping open the lock on the cage and opening it to reveal a fuzzy blue creature with insect wings. Her horn glowed and she bowed her head to direct her magic into the stunned little creature.

The horror before her stopped in no way. Something within it letting loose a feral cry as the entire unknowable form of the thing leapt into the air to land within the circle and encompass Rarity. Instantly the forcefield went up and Twilight watched as the thing inside writhed around where Rarity had stood moments before. Then it began to move again, slamming against the walls of the field. Tiny glistening compound eyes pressed against the side, and Twilight imagined they looked into her soul before they slammed in the other direction.

“Rarity, you said I could help you today. I want to try and get my fashionista cutie mark!”

Rarity stopped and considered. It was true she had said something to Sweetie to that effect yesterday, and it wasn’t as though the dress she were working on anything difficult or pressing.

“Very well Sweetie, you can help me with these dresses. Just follow my instructions to the letter or I’ll just have to undo everything we’re working on and start over.”

Sweetie Belle cried with glee, and climbed up on a footstool to see what they were working on. The dress on the bench called for some interesting but easily reproduced designs in the dress. Rarity stopped working herself, and over the next half hour Rarity guided Sweetie Belle through the work before feeling confident Sweetie had it well in hoof, sitting there whistling a little tune to herself.

Rarity busied herself around with other parts of the dresses she was working on, becoming fully ensconced with her work. After an hour had passed she turned back to find that Sweetie had somehow sewn herself into a tight knot and was now picking the stitches out of sections of what she was working on and sewing them down in others. Rarity picked up a loose edge of the former dress and saw that the fabric had somehow blended with itself in places, like it had been rewoven together.

“Sweetie?” Rarity asked, in a dubious voice.

“One sec, Rarity,” Sweetie replied, literally wrestling a new section of the dress down into the an already overtightly packed section of dress.

Further attempts at communication were cut off as Rarity noticed a section of the horror of a dress had begun throwing pins off trying to relieve stress. She ducked under one such pin, then another, and another before the last pin cracked out and the section of dress billowed upward. Behind her Rarity heard a yowl of pain and turned to see that the last pin had hit Opalescence. The snoozing cat, turned and immediately leaped at the first moving thing it could see, the dress.

Claws shredded stitches, and yanked out pins, sections of dress whipped out and snapped taut around things in the workroom and pulled them in. At the center of the mass, the angry cat and young filly continued their campaigns against the offending dress. A shocked Rarity stepped back only to be caught in the wrapping of one of the other dresses she had been working on, snagged by the pin filled fabric of the dress, and was pulled in toward the monstrous mass of cloth that even Rarity could no longer consider a dress.

Desperately Rarity lashed out with her magic as the dress pulled her in. A flash of scissors and a tearing of fabric and she was free, though still wrapped in the remains of the dress she’d been wrapped up by. Around the room sections of Sweetie’s creation pulled more material into itself. At first more fabrics, and thread and such and even the furniture wasn’t safe.

Rarity did the only thing she could think of. She screamed. And horrifically the mass turned toward her.

“I have to admit Rarity, that’s a pretty crazy story,” Twilight said through the field, as parasprites continued swarming over the rags and gems that remained of the pony eating thing, that had been made up of everything in the boutique. Dozens of ponies and at least one cat sat in various states ranging from traumatized to confused to overjoyed. Pinkie Pie hadn’t stopped laughing since she was released, talking about how the thing wouldn’t stop tickling her and how it was great.

“I know dear but hopefully we can get this whole mess cleared up and everything back to normal soon,” Rarity agreed, “You did say you sent somepony for instruments to get rid of the parasprites right?”

Twilight nodded, and the girls settled in to talk while they waited for rescue to allow them to leave the forcefield.

Author's Note

The Prompt: Rarity stops making a dress.

I would've SWORN this was the first story I did for the TMPS. Huh. Well I still liked this one when it was done.

For more on this prompt from other authors, go here.

Refraction

“Alright, Rainbow Dash, Truth or Dare?” Twilight asked, laying the grass with her friends. They were all taking a break from their pet play date to play a game, with the exception of Fluttershy who’d lain down for a nap and immediately become the approved snoozing site for all pets present.

“Dare,” three ponies interrupted before Rainbow Dash could answer.

“Hey,” Rainbow said to her friends, “I didn’t say anything yet.”

“Yeah, but you always pick dare Rainbow Dash, figuring out what you’re going to pick is super easy,’ Pinkie Pie countered.

“You are kinda a one trick pony RD,” Applejack affirmed.

“Hey, I know lots of tricks,” Rainbow dash disagreed.

“She meant, ugh, nevermind. So did you want ‘dare’ Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked.

“Y’know what, I WAS gonna pick dare, but now I’m gonna pick ‘truth’. Hit me.”

“Why would I do that? Wouldn’t that hurt?” Twilight asked. She blushed when she saw the look on her friends faces made it clear she’d misinterpreted something again.

“Oh, um, truth. I’ll be honest I didn’t have anything to ask I was expecting you to pick dare too,” Twilight scratched her head, “Um, how about… What’s one skill you have that you haven’t told any of us about?”

Rainbow stopped and looked at the sky for a minute considering.

“Whatsa matter RD? Can’t think of anything?” Applejack joked.

“No, I’ve got something. I’m just not sure I want to tell you guys,” Rainbow said. Her face was slightly twisted with discomfort.

“If it’s something that bad you don’t have to tell us, dearie,” Rarity replied.

“No, it’s not bad, I mean Fluttershy knows, I just don’t like talking about it,” Rainbow sighed, “I’m really good at art type stuff.”

“What?” the others said incredulously.

“My parents were artists so growing up they always made me practice all kinds of art stuff. They were pretty disappointed when I got my awesomeness cutie mark.”

“Hm,” Apple jack said, rubbing her chin before dropping the hoof and shaking her head, “Nope.”

“Nope? Nope what?”

“Nope, I don’ believe you. I don’t mean to call you a liar, but I jus’ can’t see you as an artist, Rainbow.”

“It is a little hard believe,” Rarity agreed reluctantly.

“I believe her,” Pinkie chirped, “I mean she’s gotta be really creative to come up with all those awesome tricks she does, who’s to say she wouldn’t be good at art stuff too?”

“Nope, I agree with you Pinkie but I need to see some evidence that she’s actually good at it before I’ll take it at face value,” Applejack returned.

“Seriously? C’mon you guys,” Rainbow pled.

“I dunno, Rainbow,” Twilight looked skeptical, “Can you give us some proof?”

“Proof? Ugh, fine.”

Rainbow looked around the sky for a second before spreading her wings and taking off. She zipped around the sky for several minutes stopping at clouds and testing them with her hooves before picking one twice her size and pushing it down to the ground.

“What’s that for?” Pinkie asked, reaching to push her hooves into the cloud only for Rainbow to gently slap them away.

“I’m gonna use this to show you guys,” Rainbow said, turning and rolling the cloud around until she appeared satisfied with it, and she began slashing most of the soft fluffy edges off the cloud with her wings.

“Oh, you sculp?” Twilight said, surprised, “I guess that’s why you didn’t just ask for some of my paper.”

“I can draw,” Dash replied, her tongue peaking out of her mouth as her wings began cutting away smaller chunks of the cloud, “I just felt like doing it this way. Now, shush.”

The others settled into watch as the cyan pegasus kept chipping away at the ball of fluff with her wings, occasionally reaching in to reform part of the cloud with a hoof. Bits of discarded cloud were collected as they were removed and pushed into a ball to one side of where Rainbow Dash worked. Her subject quickly became clear as the lumps in the clouds remains aligned with Fluttershy’s and the pet’s sleeping forms.

Time seemed to whip by as the ponies watched the pegasus work, occasionally they’d exchange quite words with each other until an annoyed grunt from Rainbow Dash would silence them. After one such grunt Fluttershy stirred. The animals around her immediately woke again and departed to their various activities and owners of choice. Only Opalescence deigning to remain exactly where she was and return to sleep.

Fluttershy looked around and released a quite, ‘oh dear’ when she saw what Rainbow was doing. She quietly sat down with the others and was filled in by them. At this point the majority of the form of the pets and Fluttershy was obvious and Rainbows swift brutal cuts with her wings had become smooth gentle swipes that barely seemed to cut away anything at all. The ball of extra cloud was not proof from this as Rainbow would reach out with a hoof and spin it, shaping it with her hooves before skimming off a cloud of the consistency she sought. The excess cloud material was mostly used where the sculpture required a softer appearance, largely the primary feathers of the wings, the fur coats, and all of Fluttershy’s mane and tail ate up the excess.

Finally, as the sun was reaching the far end of the sky and it began to color the clouds in the sky. Rainbow sat back from her work and proclaimed it done. She reached under it and placed it in the path of the streaming sunlight and like the other clouds the light passing through it changed its colors. The other girls ooh’d and ahh’d as the pegasus in the sculpture’s mane turned the same pink as the subject the coat changed to an orange that matched the pegasus in the fading light of day, around her were laying all their pets, their own colors also nearly correct due to careful application of cloud.

“Wow, Rainbow,” Twilight gushed, staring at the cloud, “That’s beautiful. I can’t believe you aren’t doing something with your art if you can make something like this.”

“Yeah, Dash. I certainly had you wrong,” Applejack agreed, looking around for the artist, “Rainbow?”

The girls tore their eyes away from the work of art to find that the cyan pegasus had left while they were admiring her work.

“She went home, “ Fluttershy supplied, “She doesn’t really like to talk about her art.”

“But why, dear?” Rarity asked, shocked, “She’s so talented.”

“Oh, um, I can’t really tell you. But she doesn’t enjoy doing art anymore. She only lets herself do cloud art occaisionally when she’s working with the weather patrol. And then only because cloud art doesn’t last long.”

“Oh no,” Pinkie cried out, drawing all their eyes back to the cloud. Without the attention of the pegasus making it an errant wind had blown in and was beginning to mar the colors of the cloud as it drifted higher into the early evening sky.

The other ponies stared at it forlornly and silently turned to ask Fluttershy, but she just shook her head and went to pick up Angel before flying home. Leaving four confused ponies behind to wonder.

Author's Note

The Prompt: One of the Mane Six or Spike reveals a skill nopony expected them to have.

I'll be honest with you guys, this is probably one of my favorite stories I've done for the TMPS. For all that as a short story it probably fails due to clarifying nothing. It's just word vomit that came out so damn pretty.

For more on this prompt from other authors, go here.

M.A.D.

The fight between two of Ponyville’s most well known ponies surprised everypony who heard about it. Not only for the strength of the argument but the speed with which it escalated , and the particular ponies involved. It started with harsh words exchanged at a Pinkie party, and grew to pranks the next day. On the third day the two were no longer able to address each other except through shouted insults and proxies. No pony at this point could even recall what the original argument had been about, and they weren’t surprised when after a week the two had begun resorting to petty vandalism.

The rumor mill was sure that the entire thing would be taken to a new level when one of the two drew on the long friendship between the two to spread one of the others darkest secrets. The victim of this shortly stopped coming to Ponyville at all to avoid the whispered comments and stares from the other ponies. The only ones in contact with her were her four other friends. The friends would bring their companion things she needed from Ponyville, and refused to answer any questions about what was going on in the ongoing conflict between friends.

Most shockingly to everypony, especially the gossiping ponies, was the lack of return fire from the newly hermitic pony. After the pony had heard that her friend had told everypony her secret she surely had plenty of secrets the other pony didn’t wish to be made known. Instead, she had just closed her eyes and left for her home. She’d made no effort to attack her friend in anyway after that.

Weeks passed and nopony heard anything from either of the two fighters. The one pony remained in her newfound hermitage and the other appeared to become increasingly aggravated as her opponent wouldn’t come out to fight with her properly. Passing the one month since the vile secret had been leaked to the grapevine the fight had been forgotten from everypony’s minds. Though mentioning of the one pony would still cause anypony ‘in the know’ to bring up the information that had driven her into seclusion.

Finally, one day the one decided to confront the other in her home.

One pony walked up to the hermit’s house, knocking gently. Around the house dozens of eyes glinted and glared at the intruder on the hiding pony’s territory.

The door cracked open and an aquamarine eye peeked out from behind a curtain of pink.

“Oh, hello. I wasn’t expecting… you,” Fluttershy said, shrinking the opening slightly.

“Shy… Can we talk?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Fluttershy said nothing but said nothing for a moment, but then stepped away from the door, leaving it ajar for the other pony to come in if she wanted, but not inviting her. The other pegasus entered and shut the door behind her, wincing slightly when it shut more loudly than she expected. A point that she was made more keenly aware of by how quiet Fluttershy’s cottage was. Usually the house was alive with the sound of small animals moving in and around it, today the only noise was of the two pegasi moving around. The only sign of small animals were from accusing glares that disappeared into hiding places as soon as they were noticed.

Fluttershy had disappeared into the kitchen where she removed a teapot from the stove a single second after it began whistling, nearly startling Rainbow Dash as badly as the sound from the door had. Fluttershy brought the pot into the sitting room with a tray holding cups and other necessities for tea on her wings. She nodded toward a chair as she put the things down and started making tea for them. Rainbow Dash sat dumbly while Fluttershy went about it. Her movements almost mechanical as though she had repeated this same ritual dozens of times, which Rainbow Dash supposed she might have.

Unable to continue watching Rainbow tore her eyes away and looked around the cottage again. The absence of animals wasn’t the only change, she noticed. Fluttershy’s table usually kept tidy now had a number of books from the Ponyville library in three stacks. One only one book high and the others different heights with the cover side up on one stack and cover side down on the other. Fluttershy’s kitchen seemed bare as most of the minor ingredients and containers were mostly empty, though the bowl of red fruit on her table overflowed and a box of baked goods sat next to the bowl.

A small cough drew Rainbow Dash’s attention back to where Fluttershy had finished her work and set a cup in front of Dash. Clumsily the pegasus lifted the china to sip at it and her eyes widened. She chuckled and looked into the cup.

“Just enough honey to make you taste the bitterness, “ she commented, swirling the cup between her hooves, “You remember how I like it.”

Fluttershy said nothing just sipping her tea and sitting quietly in the other chair. Rainbow stared at her for a moment before putting the tea down, perhaps a touch more hard than she should have.

“If you can remember all that why’d you just give up?” Rainbow Dash begged, “You’ve known me forever you could have just told somepony about the time I… I don’t the time I-“

Fluttershy held up a hoof and Rainbow stopped short before continuing again.

“I don’t even remember what the stupid fight was about,” she grumbled.

Fluttershy sighed and sipped her tea.

“Rainbow, when you told everypony that I was devastated. I couldn’t believe you’d do that. You’re the element of loyalty and you just… Oooh, I was so angry I could have just screamed. And I did think about doing the same thing right back to you,” Fluttershy said without any venom, while Rainbow cringed and looked ashamed.

“But I decided not to, because if you were willing to go so far as to destroy my reputation with everyone in Ponyville to win that stupid argument then I didn’t want to win anymore. I’d rather one of us be able to salvage what was left of our image in town then take us both down. And I didn’t want to make it alright for you to do that by doing it myself. So you won Rainbow Dash. I quit.”

“But… I didn’t know what else to do,” Rainbow protested, “You just wouldn’t… I’m sorry. How can I make this up to you. I want us to be able to at least go back to being friends. If not…”

Fluttershy ignored the unspoken end of that sentence and nodded, “I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow started to object but was again silenced with a raised hoof.

“I should have been able to be more Kind. I knew that nothing good would come of our fight but I just couldn’t let it go either. Not until you,” Fluttershy stopped and sighed deeply, “I’m not angry with you Rainbow, we both made mistakes and eventually everypony will forget this ever happened and things can go back to normal.”

Rainbow Dash looked hopeful at that and Fluttershy gave her a small smile.

“Though until then,” Fluttershy started.

“Until then, I’m going to make it up to you,” Rainbow Dash cut in, “Come on, give me something to do. Make me buy all your groceries and deliver them until this blows over. I deserve it.”

Fluttershy looked at Rainbow Dash and smiled gently again.

“Rainbow Dash…”

—-

“What’s goin’ on? I can’t see,” a southern tinged filly’s voice called from under Fluttershy’s front window.

“Yeah, what’s happening Sweetie? We have to go back and tell Rarity so she’ll help us get our gem finding cutie marks.” Scootaloo added, slightly higher in the stack.

“Awww, they’re kissing.”

Author's Note

The prompt: Two ponies are in competition. One loses … but doesn’t realize it.

Ah, I'm pretty sure this was my first blatant FlutterDash on TMPS. If you guys don't like FlutterDash I recommend jumping ship just before you read this or before you continue reading.

If you want more of this prompt by other authors, go here.

Whoops

Wind shrieked in Rainbow Dash’s ears as she wheeled around in Ponyville. The weather had called for overcast with random showers. This was usually enough to drive most ponies indoors as It was common knowledge that if Rainbow was on duty “random” would be interpreted as, “anytime you see a pony, and directly on that pony.” Rainbow liked to think of them as her low altitude flight practice days. She’d reined herself in a bit lately with the encouragement of her friends but today none of them were around and she felt like letting loose a little bit.

She screamed around the corner of one building up the main thoroughfare toward the library and started doing a series of tight corkscrews that brought her within inches of the ground. As she approached the darkened library she happened to catch a glimpse of Canterlot on its mountain in the distance. The glance was long enough for her also to be blinded by an enormous flash from the castle city.

Dazzled and half blind Dash mistimed her next twist and bounced off the ground. Whipping in the air she arranged her wings to put her on a straight course again and blinked to clear her eyes. Ponyville library was in front of her, and, complying with the obstinacy one would expect from a tree, it didn’t look to be willing to move. Another wing position and her straight cruise turned into a controlled uncontrolled turn aiming for one of the windows.

Instead of the crash she expected Dash was expected as the window instead spun out of her way as she hit it. Years of flight training allowed her to adjust for the unexpected change and Rainbow flared her wings, shaving off the speed she hadn’t been able to lose before hitting the window. She still managed to land on the far wall before coming to a full stop.

“Rainbow?” a voice asked from the floor.

Rainbow blinked and looked at the floor where a teary eyed unicorn was looking at her flapping desperately to keep her position standing on the wall. Taking this as a small opportunity to show off Rainbow chose to just walk down and step onto the floor like it was gravity was where she chose it was.

“Twilight? I thought you were supposed to be in Canterlot with Spike for some egghead thing.”

“I was,” Twilight replied evasively, “Do you always crash into the library when I’m around or was this a special visit?”

“Heh,” Rainbow laughed, scratching her head abashedly, “Sorry about that. Revolving windows are cool though. Much less painful then your old ones.”

“I kind of needed them considering the frequency pegasus ponies kept crashing through them,” Twilight muttered.

“Heh,” Rainbow laughed, then narrowed her eyes as she got a good look at her friend, “Have you been crying?”

Twilight quickly wiped her eyes and ran a hoof over herself in an attempt to prevent the disaster her mane was bordering on.

“I’m sorry Rainbow Dash, I just kinda need a moment alone right now,” she explained.

“Oh, I see,” Dash nodded in understand. She laid down and crossed her hooves, waiting expectantly.

Twilight stared back with a flat look.

“Most ponies would take that as their cue to leave,” she said.

“Yeah, I know,” Rainbow agreed, “But I’m not most ponies. I’m Rainbow Dash, Equestria’s number one flier, element of loyalty, and best friend anypony could ask for.” Rainbow laid down again after posing appropriately for the unnecessary introduction.

“So lay it on me, what’s on your mind?”

“Rainbow, I really don’t think you’re the best person to help me with this and I really don’t want to go into it right now.”

“Oh, alright.” Rainbow examined one hoof and started buffing it on her coat.

“You’re not going to leave until I tell you what happened are you?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh,” Twilight groaned, rising to her feet, “Fine? You want to know what happened? I screwed up. Happy?”

Rainbow just tilted her head in confusion and nodded for Twilight to go on.

“I blew it. I went up to give my presentation on uses for pneumoichthian alignment spells and I got nervous and completely blew my horn.”

“You screwed up a presentation?” Rainbow asked incredulously.

“No,” Twilight disagreed, “Something scared me and I turned half of Canterlot into a new city park.”

“Oh,” Rainbow said, intelligently.

“Yeah, ‘oh,’” Twilight agreed, “I’m supposed to be past this. I haven’t had this kind of problem since I was a filly and the Princess took me on as a student. I worked so hard on control for YEARS and all it took was one nervous meeting and a loud noise and suddenly I’m standing in the hanging gardens of Baybylon!”

“Wow,” Rainbow said, “That’s pretty bad. But it’s not like you’re doing that badly, I mean you don’t panic like that all the time so you just need to try harder next time.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not that easy Rainbow. It’s not just one screw up it’s a huge screw up that could hurt innocent ponies.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Rainbow countered, “But… Hm… Think of it like this. Doing magic for you is kinda like doing tricks for me right? And how many times have you seen me screw up and get hurt.”

“Rainbow, most everypony in town has had to install a new window after you’ve crashed into their house.”

“Yeah, but how many times has anypony gotten HURT?” Rainbow pressed.

“Um,” Twilight hemmed, querying her considerable memory and coming almost blank, “Just that time you crashed after doing that new trick.”

“Exactly,” Rainbow agreed, “And the reason is that I’ve practiced a lot so that if something happens I can adjust instantly to do the least damage to anypony if something DOES happen. The reason I hurt myself after that crash was because I forgot to make an exit plan for the new trick. And I still did it outside town so nobody would get hurt if the trick did go wrong.”

“Oh, but what does that have to do with my magic?”

“I’m saying you just need to work on your kneejerk response to things. Instead of just blasting magic when you’re surprised practice doing some harmless spell or something, like that moustache thing. That would be cool.”

“It’s hardly that easy, Dash. And even if that did work I’d still look kinda silly if I gave everypony in Canterlot a moustache when I freaked out.”

“As opposed to leaves?” Dash asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Point,” Twilight agreed, “I… I guess I’ll try that in the future. Thanks Dash. I… didn’t think you’d actually have something useful to say about this.”

“Hey, just because we’ve got different talents doesn’t mean there isn’t overlap.”

“Well, thank you Rainbow. I’m glad you were here to help me out.”

A knocking at the door interrupted further conversation and Twilight flinched when she saw the distinctive silhouettes of royal guards outside.

“Um, what’s going on?” Rainbow asked Twilight.

“Well… when I panicked I may have teleported back here and left everypony a plant. The princess probably wants a word with me.”

Rainbow considered this before taking an action stance.

“Okay, you open the door and I’ll tackle them, then while you run away.”

“Or I could just go with them and explain what happened.”

“Oh. Yeah that works too,” Rainbow agreed.

“Would you like to come with me? I’d kinda like to have a friend along when I’m explaining.”

“Sure, Twi. Just let me sneak out the back and soak those guys first. I’ve got to get some ‘random’ showering in before I go or I might get accused of abandoning my post.”

Twilight snerked and waved Rainbow toward the back window. The cyan pegasus pony needed no more encouragement and was out the window in a flash. Those revolving

Author's Note

The Prompt: “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ~ Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

I honestly don't remember writing this one. Huh, not sure how I feel about it.

If you want more from this prompt by other authors, you know where to go. Here. Here, is where you go.

Free Climbing

Why don’t I ever ask for help with my tricks? Huh, wow, that’s a doozy. I’m sure if I wanted to I could have gone to some fancy flight school or found a totally awesome flight instructor to give me tips, but I didn’t really want the help. I guess if I had to think of a reason it’d be because of something Fluttershy did once.

Back when we were just out of flight school Fluttershy and I used to meet to help work on her flying. Though now that I think about it the flying practice usually just turned into me trying to do a sonic rainboom again. Sorry Shy.

Anyway, we’d meet out by this hill that was perfect for posing coolly and taking off from. The hill was kinda shaped like a wedge on its side so there was a big cliff on one side that you could use to extend the dive without flying up as high from where you took off. It was a pretty short walk back of a side trail to get to the top but it was good for resting your wings on the back up. Y’know, if you weren’t awesome like me and had to rest between flights when you were a filly.

So this one day on my way there to meet Fluttershy I was runnin’ late, I was feeling kinda down cuz I must’ve tried to do a rainboom like a million times and hadn’t gotten close. But when I got there I saw Fluttershy was climbing up the cliff face. That was weird cuz Fluttershy wasn’t a great flier but she could at least fly to the top of the cliff if she really wanted to. So I flew over to the cliff and asked her what she was doing, but she was breathing really hard and had to focus on what she was doing so I just watched her.

It took her like an hour but she eventually got like halfway up the cliff and stopped next to this one branch that grew out of the cliff face. It must’ve been a couple hundred feet above the ground cuz it was smack dab in the middle and the cliff really was like a thousand feet high. She got to the branch and she’s up there shivering and clearly really scared cuz y’know Fluttershy HATES heights. I mean hates them. She doesn’t even like flying up to my house most days. Then she reaches under her wing with one hoof and drops this little pink baby bird into her hooves and she puts it in this nest I’d never noticed before with a couple other babies.

Huh? She said she found it at the base of the cliff. The cliff wasn’t sheer a baby bird falling out of its nest could probably roll or fall down it without getting hurt. I dunno they’re little and Fluttershy said it was fine.

Anyway, she puts this little baby bird into the nest and then glides down to the bottom with me, and I asked her why she didn’t just hand the bird to me when I got there. And she turned to me and said, “Because I want to help animals. I know you could fly up there and do it really easily but I knew I could do it too. And if I let somepony else do the hard parts of the job I started then I wouldn’t deserve the praise I’d get for getting it done. I mean, I’d ask for help if I needed it but if I can do something myself I’d rather do it myself, because it’s my job and nopony else’s.”

I dunno if I’m remembering it right but yeah. That’s why I’ve never asked for help with my flying. I’m Equestria’s number one flier and I got this way because I knew I could do it and I wanted to prove that the position was mine and nopony elses. I guess.

I really should thank Fluttershy. Without her I’d probably have given up and become another stunt pony that needs a huge support group to be their best. All the Dash will ever need from her friends is a cheering section.

Author's Note

The Prompt: A childhood memory from one of the Mane Six that they never want to forget

I remember this one was hard to get cuz with only thirty minutes to write I knew there was no way I'd get the words to come out right to express the thought I had. I think it worked out.

Others using this prompt, here.

Original Recipe

“Mom, I’m home,” Scootaloo called, casually kicked the front door shut behind her.

“Hey, honey,” her mom replied from somewhere in the kitchen, “Did you have a good day?”

“Totally!” Scootaloo called back, folding up her scooter and placing it reverently in the corner, “We went and watched Rainbow Dash practice her stunts. It was SO AWESOME.”

“That’s great honey! Did you thank Rainbow Dash for letting you watch?”

“Yes, Mom,” Scootaloo poked her head into the kitchen and let out a frightened yelp, “Mom! Why are you cooking!? Where’s Dad?”

“He’s not getting home until late so Boo is in charge of dinner tonight,” Scootaloo’s mother replied.

“Here let me help,” Scootaloo said dashing into the kitchen, “No Mom! That’s rat poison, and how many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to add salt to the pot to boil water!”

—-

Outside the average house a pair of fillies watched the increasing drama of Scootaloo trying to keep her mother from poisoning her family. After a few minutes things settled down inside and the pair ducked down from the window they were spying through.

“Why did we follow Scootaloo home again?” Sweetie Belle asked Applebloom.

“I wanted to see where she lived.”

“Why?”

“Well, she never talks about her family or about things happening in her house,” Applebloom explained, “I thought maybe was an orphan, or that maybe she was secretly raised by chickens or somethin’.”

“Applebloom, that’s terrible! Why would anypony think that?”

“I dunno…” Applebloom hemmed, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me, you’re going to have to apologize to Scootaloo tomorrow,” Sweetie Belle scolded, “Now let’s hurry back to my sister’s, Applejack was supposed to be there to pick you up like ten minutes ago.”

Applebloom let out a strangled yelp and the pair of fillies dashed off.

—-

Back inside Scootaloo stood on a stool stirring something in a small pot. She sighed and put the spoon down and carefully shifter the pot to a different burner and turned off the active one.

“Buckawk!”

Scootaloo jumped and tumbled off of the stool. She got up and glared at the oversized chicken standing in the kitchen. The chicken stared at the pegasus filly and scratched at the tiles of the floor with one foot.

“Mom!” Scootaloo protested, “You know the rule! I don’t ride my scooter in the house and you don’t wear costumes from work at home! You can use your character names and the third-person but no costumes! We all agreed.”

“Aw, but honey,” the chicken replied, “Boo wanted to rehearse for Boo’s part at work this week.”

“No costumes,” Scootaloo ground out, “Now put that away before somepony sees you and those stupid chicken rumors start circulating again.”

Author's Note

The prompt: Scootaloo’s home.

Meh.

Other people's here.

Bombing the Business Bureau

“And then we just have to file Form WALBS-11 over at the permits counter and in two to three weeks you’ll have the permit,” Spike said, picking up the last of an oversized stack of papers as the pink pony accompanying him finished filling it out.

“Thanks Spike,” Pinkie replied, dumping the pencil from her mouth and stretching to get the kinks out from having spent the last hour filling out various forms while the baby dragon ran them around the business bureau and replaced them with new forms. “This would have been a real adventure if you hadn’t been around to help me out. Where’d you learn all this stuff anyway?”

“Twilight had me spellcheck most of her Bureaucracy 101 homework back in Canterlot,” Spike sniffed proudly, “So when I heard you were going to try and put together an ala carte cart to sell baked goods around Ponyville today I thought I’d see if you needed help.”

“Thanks again, Spike.” Pinkie smiled. “When we get back to Sugar Cube Corner I’m going to bake you SUCH a huge cake you’ll-“ Pinkie cut off suddenly as her ears pricked up, the tips igniting into little puffs of flame.

“Woah,” Spike exclaimed, “Pinkie your ears!”

“Sh!” Pinkie stopped the dragon, “A crime is ahoof.” Pinkie’s eyes scanned the room, scrutinizing all the bored and annoyed looking ponies. Spike followed her look and could see nothing suspicious. Slowly Pinkie raised her forehooves and extinguished the tiny flames on her ears. Lowering herself to Spike’s level she whispered conspiratorially, “Spike, I have a very important mission for you.”

“W- what is it?”

Pinkie crawled over to one of the plastic potted plants in the room and rooted around in the fake dirt for a moment before producing a half dozen plastic yellow capsules the size of a quail’s egg with tiny dials on them. She returned and solemnly placed them in the dragon’s claws, and led him over toward where the restrooms were tucked out of sight.

“Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to take these and plant them throughout the building. And while you’re doing that you need to make sure you find the office of the pony who has today circled on their calendar, his has to go off last. We want to make sure when these puppies go off that everypony is going to run through the lobby to get out. When they are all gathered there, that’s where I’ll be waiting for them,” Pinkie explained to the dragon in a serious tone.

“Pinkie, what’s going on? What crime? And what’re these?” Spike asked, holding up the capsules.

“Stink bombs,” Pinkie chirped, abandoning her serious demeanor instantly. “I have them stashed all over Ponyville in case of stink bomb emergency.” Pinkie turned serious again. “And this is most definitely a stink bomb emergency.”

“Um… okay,” Spike respondeded, “But this is a government office, they’re not just going to let me waltz around like I own the place.”

“Don’t worry Spikey, your auntie Pinkie has got you covered.” Pinkie Pie pushed another plant that was placed between the restroom aside to reveal the metal grate behind it. “Any secret infiltration mission needs a scene with an air vent!”

Before Spike could respond to that he found himself whisked into the vent behind the grate, and the grate replaced and screwed shut.

“Now it’ll take me a half an hour to get my end ready but after that they’ll be on to us, so you’ve gotta accomplish your mission before then,” Pinkie said, giving the screws a final turn, “See you later Spike!”

“Wait, Pinkie!” Spike called out, and watched as the pink pony hopped away and out the front door of the office. “Ugh, fine,” he groaned. Tucking his payload closer to his scaly chest he started crawling through the vents.

—-

A half hour later the purple dragon arrived back where he’d started and found Pinkie waiting for him. The trip had been harrowing, the vents were dusty and hot, and at one point while he peeked out of the grate in an office ceiling his sweat had almost given him away to the workers below before he could check their calendar. Undaunted, he’d managed to find the office of the pony with the date circled in his calendar and had set the stink bombs throughout the building.

“All done Pinkie,” he informed the pony as she held the grate open for him to crawl out, “The bombs should go off right about…”

The sound of dismayed ponies could be heard from all over as rooms started filling with noxious yellow smoke. Ponies screamed and choked and could be heard running elsewhere in the building.

“Now,” Spike finished, looking smug, “So did you go and get the guards to help prevent the crime?”

“Nope.” Pinkie shook her head. “I got something even better.” The pair walked back out to the main lobby where Pinkie had left a large piece of artillery parked.

“Woah,” Spike said, “A cannon? This seems serious.”

“It always is Spike,” Pinkie said darkly, “It always is.”

Ponies began flocking into the room to find the front doors of the building had been blocked by Pinkie’s party wagon and the deranged pony herself had a cannon pointed at them. Spike covered his ears as Pinkie kicked the back of the weapon and it discharged violently. Streamers, balloons and party hats sailed out in an uncanny arc to land in bunches around the room and appropriately on pony heads respectively.

“Wait,” Spike said, uncovering his ears as the last pony, the culprit he’d fingered, ran into the lobby, “That’s the Party Cannon I kept hearing about?”

“Happy Birthday!” Pinkie cried to the pony who’d come in last just as the ponies who’d first come in were beginning to get a proper panic going.

“What?” the pony in question replied looking shocked as everypony in the room turned to look at him, “I thought you all forgot my birthday again this year.” The office ponies exchanged glances before turning back to their compatriot and immediately playing along with Pinkie’s scheme. In short order a party was in full swing. Spike and Pinkie were quietly thanks by several friends of the birthday pony who had ashamedly forgotten his birthday for the second time in as many years. Though the janitor pony had to be calmed down with promises that the stink bombs could be negated easily with perfume bombs that Pinkie had hidden in another part of the building entirely.

“So wait,” Spike said, between paper cups of punch, and slices of cake from the party wagon, “What was the crime?” he asked Pinkie.

“Any birthday that goes uncelebrated is a crime silly,” Pinkie replied with a giggle and a snort.

“So your ears catching fire was…”

“My Pinkie Sense for ‘somewhere nearby is a pony who everypony has forgotten their birthday,” Pinkie explained.

“Huh. Well, thanks for letting me help.”

“You can be my crime stopping sidekick anytime Spikey Wikey.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Spike goes on an adventure with some or all of the Mane Six.

Hee. I still think this is kinda funny.

More from this prompt, here.

Restless Evening

Bolts flying through the air nearly hit they yellow pegasus as she entered Rarity’s “inspiration room.” Ducking with the trained skill of a pony who was accustomed to these unmeaning assaults Fluttershy let out a frightened squeak. Unnoticing Rarity continued whipping the heavy bolts around and draping them over a series of dress mannequins, occasionally stopping to write a note on some nearby paper or to cut away a strip of fabric. Fluttershy approached quietly, carefully watching for further silken projectiles.

“Um, Rarity?” Fluttershy started, barely louder than a whisper. The unicorn continued her job ignoring or ignorant of the attempted interruption.

“Um, Rarity?” she asked again, slightly louder this time only to be passed over again.

Mustering her courage Fluttershy prodded Rarity with one hoof and immediately ducked as Rarity reared and spun, the objects in her grip spinning with her. Fluttershy was sure she imagined the strands of her hair falling to the carpet after the scissors narrowly passed over her.

“Fluttershy?” Rarity said surprised, “Whatever is the problem darling?”

Fluttershy carefully rose from her prone position eyeing the floating objects as they began to dance through the air again, reorganizing themselves slowly as Rarity immediately began dividing her attention between them and the pegasus.

“Oh,” Fluttershy hemmed, “I was just wondering if you were going to come to bed tonight. I know you’re probably really tired since you used your entire day off working on the new line of dresses you want to surprise Hoity Toity with…”

“I’m sorry dear but I’m probably going to be pulling an all-nighter,” Rarity replied, punctuating her statement with a snip, “Fashion waits for no pony after all.”

“Oh, I understand,” Fluttershy said, looking a little downcast, “I know it’s important since you cancelled our spa date today, but it’s just sometimes I have a hard time sleeping when I hear a pony wandering around at night.”

“I’m sorry, what was that darling?” Rarity asked, having turned back to her work.

“Oh, um… nothing,” Fluttershy murmured, backing away from the center of the fashion maelstrom.

“Alright, I’ll see you in the morning dear,” Rarity said over her shoulder without looking back.

Fluttershy squeaked something that might have been a good night and carefully navigated her way back out of the whirling minefield of dressmaking equipment. Making her way up to the bedroom she shared with the fashionista she crawled into bed and tried to ignore the sound of humming and objects being thrown around carelessly downstairs. After a half hour or so Fluttershy despaired of ever getting to sleep and walked over to the window, opening it quietly before taking off into the night.

—-

Rainbow Dash exulted as the Wonderbolts gathered around and gave her compliments up in the stands ponies stamped their hooves with applause.

Thmp thmp thmp

The strangely quiet applause was odd. She thought to herself. It almost didn’t sound like applause at all.

Thmp thmp thmp

‘Actually,’ Rainbow Dash thought, ‘that kinda sounds like my front door.’

Snapping awake Rainbow looked around her room blearily trying to figure out what woke her. Outside her window she hear the faint “thmp”ing of somepony knocking on her door. If she hadn’t had her window open she might not have heard it at all. Groaning, she got up to look out and see who it was.

“Fluttershy?”

“Oh,” Fluttershy winced from the sound of the pony above her, “Hi Rainbow Dash. I, um, I was wondering if maybe I could borrow your couch for the night?”

“My couch? Did you and Rarity have a fight or something?”

“Oh,” Fluttershy replied, looking horrified at the thought, “No. It’s just Rarity is pulling another all nighter and I was having trouble sleeping with all the noise. I’d have gone to Twilight’s, but she and Pinkie are celebrating their anniversary tonight.”

“Anniversary? I thought their anniversary was a month ago,” Rainbow said waving the yellow pony to fly up.

“Oh, it’s the ‘anniversary of the first time Pinkie caught Twilight staring at her flank’,” Fluttershy explained, fluttering up to the window.

Rainbow blinked. “And… How do you know that?”

Fluttershy blushed. “They um… told me when I went to ask if they wanted to go to the spa with me today.”

Doing some quick, because she’s Rainbow Dash, mental math Rainbow looked confused. “Wait, I thought today was Rarity’s day off. Why didn’t you go with her?”

“Oh, she wanted to work on a new project today and had to cancel,” Fluttershy answered, failing to keep all the hurt from her voice.

“But you guys barely get to spend any time together as it is.”

“It’s okay. I know she’s really busy, and I wouldn’t want to keep her from doing what she loved. I’m used to it.”

“Used to it? Fluttershy how many times has she cancelled on you now?” Rainbow asked incredulously.

“Um, not that many times. Two,” she looked at Rainbow giving her a flat look and amended, “six times…”

“Right,” Rainbow said, looking annoyed, “Well I don’t mind if you sleep here but I accidentally kicked my couch the other day. Let me just go see if I can find a cloud real fast. Make yourself comfy. Back in a flash!”

Fluttershy started to object that she was fine and she would be just as comfortable in a chair or something but Dash was gone before she could form the first syllable.

—-

Rainbow was at least polite enough to knock twice before just kicking the window to Rarity’s boutique open to gain entry. Her loud entrance prompting the white unicorn to shield herself with a bolt of expensive looking gold cloth that she wielded like a club.

“Rainbow Dash?” she exclaimed, “What are you doing here? You scared the daylights out of me.” Rarity turned back to the mannequin she’d been working on before returning to the pegasus. “Now look what you’ve done, I’ve quite forgotten where I was with all that racket.”

“And?” Rainbow asked levelly.

“And?” Rarity replied confused.

“And… I might have woken up Fluttershy?” Rainbow prompted.

“Oh, poor Fluttershy you probably gave her a start,” Rarity looked to the door to the room and seemed puzzled when her amor didn’t appear.

“She’s fine. She’s at my place,” Rainbow provided for her.

“What? Why is she-“

“She couldn’t sleep,” Rainbow Dash interrupted, “Apparently somepony was making a lot of noise so she came to my place so she could get some shut eye.”

Rarity started to reply.

“And what’s this I hear about you cancelling on Fluttershy today? You have like one day off a month and you spent it working and cancelled on her,” Rainbow accused.

“Well, dear I’m very busy,” Rarity defended.

“For the sixth time,” Rainbow drove home, before rolling her eyes and suppressing an angry look. She marched over to Rarity and poked her in the chest as she continued, “Rarity, when you and Fluttershy got together you two couldn’t spend enough hours in the day together. And all of use congratulated you because we knew you two were making each other happy.” Rainbow stared into Rarity’s face as the unicorn slipped backing away from the pegasus and sat down with an awkward thump. “We swallowed whatever feelings we may have had about you to dating and congratulated you guys cuz you were making each other happy. But right now Fluttershy is at my house looking for a quiet place to sleep because you can’t stop thinking about your work for long enough to think of her.” Rarity looked offended and tried to speak again only for Rainbow to cut her off again, “I don’t care. Whatever you’re about to say it doesn’t excuse ignoring her. If you can’t make her happy then I’ll be very happy to show you that there’s a line of ponies waiting in line to step in and do it instead of you.”

Rarity stared at Rainbow in shock as the pegasus walked back to the window she’d come in, “Good night Rarity.”

—-

Back at Rainbow’s house Fluttershy lay primly on Rainbow’s bed, trying not to make herself comfortable while she waited for her friend to return. She looked around the room admiring all the various memorabilia for the Wonderbolts that decorated the room before her eyes fell on the odd piece out. On Rainbow’s nightstand were a pair of framed photos. One was of her friends that was taken shortly after the ordeal with Nightmare Moon. The other was a picture of the day Rainbow Dash had adopted Tank, in it Fluttershy was hugging Rainbow Dash and tank, doing her level best to give the turtle, tortoise, she corrected herself, a bone crushing hug. Fluttershy smiled that the tortoise had become such an important part of the ponies life.

Her reverie was disturbed at the sound of Rainbow Dash returning through the window, swooping down to land beside Fluttershy.

“Sorry,” she explained, “I apparently did too good a job cleaning up today. But your idea works, we can just share my bed.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy objected, sitting up, “I couldn’t…”

“Just lay down,” Rainbow told her, stretching out on the fluffy cloud mattress, “My bed’s huge it’ll fit two ponies just fine.”

“But,” Fluttershy began objecting, just to be ignored as the other pegasus rolled over and fell asleep nearly instantly as was her idiom, “oh, alright.”

Fluttershy nestled down into the bed and was rapidly asleep. As her breathing deepened Rainbow opened her eyes and turned over to look at the pink maned mare. She smiled carefully swept some of Fluttershy’s hair to the side of her face. “Good night, Fluttershy.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: “Rarity has a day off.”

Ah, defending FlutterDash from Flarity. Was a good idea at the time. Little did I know a great enemy would later rise amongst the people who write for TMPS in the form of FlutterPie. Man, do I ever hate FlutterPie.

Oh, and more of this prompt here.

The Hunt

Applejack slung the coils of the weapon with which she’d lay her trap around her neck and checked to make sure her other tools were properly holstered. Behind her Apple Bloom watched with fear in her eyes. Big Mac watched solemnly as ever from behind her. Applejack stopped to hug them both as she passed out of the little tool shed.

“Sis, are you sure you wanna do this? I mean it’s not like she’s hurtin’ anypony. I bet if we just left her alone she’d sort herself out soon enough.”

“No, Apple Bloom. We’re responsible for her, we’ve gotta be the ones to set her right again. Where is she?” Applejack replied to her younger sister. Apple Bloom looked downcast and waved a hoof toward the orchard.

“She’s in the north twenty between the Gala and the Golden Delicious. She’s been milling around there since Big Mac drove her off last night. Guess she’s just waitin’ for one of us to go out there to meet her.”

Applejack nodded and started to walk past the barn/farmhouse they called home. She came up short as Granny exited from the kitchen door and walked over to her, laying a basket down at her hooves.

“These oughta help you when you catch up with the beastie,” she said shoving the picnic basket toward Applejack. Opening it with a hoof Applejack peered inside where three large ruby red balloons lay in some towels that padded the basket. She hefted one and tested its weight, the balloon wobbled, the fluid inside sloshing back forth.

“You made-“

“Yep,” Granny cut her off, “I’d have made more but we’re short on time and I didn’t have more ingredients or the equipment to put it in balloons cleanly. But you hit her with one of these it’ll at least weaken her.”

Applejack put the balloon back in the basket and closed it reverently before throwing her hooves around the old mare’s neck.

“Thank you, Granny,” Applejack’s voice quivered as she spoke, “This’ll help sure’n as anything will.”

“You go get her,” Granny replied, patting Applejack’s back, “You get her and you get back here in one piece y’hear?”

“Yes Granny.”

Applejack picked up the basket and its precious ordinance and nodded to her family again before breaking out into a trot for the northern part of the Acres.

—-

She smelled her quarry long before she ever caught up with it. She removed the first of the tools she’d readied for this confrontation to protect herself and placed it over her nose. Checking to make sure it was secure she carefully made her way out to where a water spigot stuck out of the ground among the trees. As she unspooled some of her coiled weapon and attached it to the pipe she kept a careful eye on her surroundings.

The ground beneath the trees was littered with leaves that had been dropped weeks ago in preparation for winter. Now a light snow the previous night had partially obscured them. It would be perfect camouflage for her prey, and she cursed that this had happened when the battle would most favor the beast.

Giving an experimental tug she confirmed that the spigot would take a good amount of weight without snapping. Applejack nodded to herself and began unreeling long lengths of her chosen weapon and tossing it out and around trees. It would be useless to try and rope the beast. It was a canny creature and intimately familiar with all of the tricks Applejack used for corralling critters with a rope.

Well, most of them. Applejack corrected that line of thought. She hoped that maybe her current plan would be a great enough change to trick the beast long enough to bring it down. She returned to the spigot and twisted the faucet to turn the water on. She listened as the water pumped through the hose she’d hooked up, until it finally exited the end of the hose that she’d hooked over a branch so the water would spill out and fall far enough to make noise. The beast had been out here all night. With the ponds and lakes being frozen over or winter she’d be thirsty.

Content with her work she turned and pulled another of her tools out of her bag, replacing it with the carefully handled balloons. She pulled a strip of cloth and whipped it around one of the larger trees near the hose end and then pulled both end taught with her mouth. Carefully she used the wrapped cloth to help her settle her weight against the tree so she could ‘walk’ up the side of it. It was exhausting but the brown branches of the tree would be a better hiding place than anywhere on the ground where the beast would see her. So she waited.

Finally her patience was rewarded in the form of a shaggy form wandering into the area Applejack was hoping for. The beast cast glances around, sniffing at the air. She could no doubt smell Applejack, and was no doubt aware that the hose had been set up for her attention, but not thinking to look up she couldn’t find the pony. Tenatively the beast reached out a tongue and began to drink.

Applejack carefully limbered the first balloon. She knew there was no way the single balloon would stop the beast but the damage it would do would be more than enough to keep her from disappearing into the orchard without leaving a trail. She waited until the furry thing began drinking, taking careful aim.

With a whiffing hoof she hurled her projectile. The red ball blurred at its unaware target and for a moment Applejack dared hope she’d succeeded. At the last moment something tipped the creature off and she turned her and rolled out of the way, the balloon missing her by an ear and breaking uselessly across a tree, spraying the red fluid inside everywhere but on the target.

The beast turned to the tree and spotted Applejack who barely had time to curse and roll out of her hiding place to land on the ground before the beast gave a start and ran. Hauling on one of the lines of hose Applejack had carefully lain near the foot of the tree. The cord whipped up into the air nearly rapping the beast on the nose as it ran. Grinding to halt the beast changed directions only to see Applejack had already moved and was a step ahead of it. It turned again, and Applejack yanked a different length of hose, once again whipping the hose in front of the beast into the air trying to scare it into changing direction but instead tripping it. Applejack loosed her second shot and was forced to curse again as the beast rolled to its feet and clear of the splashing fluid bursting where it had fallen. The beast exchanged a look with Applejack and bolted again. Time and again Applejack moved to cut It off, over and over it changed direction. Applejack pulled hose lengths half a dozen times, sometimes causing the hose to fall from the trees, others causing it to jerk taut, and in one ingenious placement even causing a loop to tighten around where the furry thing had been standing. Only its experience with Applejack allowing it to slip free moments in the instants between where Applejack let go of the hose in order to secure it.

Applejack realized this wasn’t going to work. The beast was clever and it would know she was trying to herd it to a spot where she could get a clear shot at it with the hose or the balloons. She glanced at the last balloon and realized that for some reason Granny had made it larger than the others. Maybe it was an artifact of its creation or maybe she’d foreseen this conclusion. Making her decision Applejack watched for the moment where her prey would see the way out. A section of the battlefield where her hose traps were already expended.

The beast noticed. It was beginning to pick out the patterns and it could see that if the next two traps missed it would be able to slip past Applejack and back to freedom. The creature ran, as expected a looping hose rose up to meet her, and she turned to dodge it heading toward where the next trap surely lay, and where her bid for freedom could begin. She screeched to a halt as instead of running parallel to her as she had been previously she found the earth pony charging her full speed with one of those horrible smelling red things dangling from her mouth. It was ludicrous, the pony could outrun her on open ground but in the forest of apple trees her thin graceful limbs would allow her to escape. The pony would never just charge her.

The frozen moment of indecision cost the beast its escape. With a feral yell Applejack leaped into the air and tackled her smaller but more agile prey. The balloon she’d held so close to her chest exploded and the two of them were covered in its contents. Wrapping her hooves around the beast Applejack did her best to rub as much of the red goo into the beast’s fur as she could as it writhed in her grip.

“Darn it Winona, it’s your own fault for goin’ messin’ with that skunk now hold still so I can wash you.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: A pony’s gotta do what a pony’s gotta do.

I had fun with this one. So did other folks.

Remedial Education

“H- Hello, and welcome to Romance 101. I-I’ll be your instructor Professor Fluttershy and-“

“Is this really necessary?”

Fluttershy turned from where she’d been writing her name on the chalkboard to where her student had spoken up.

“Um, yes, I mean, maybe, if you think it is… I mean,” Fluttershy trailed off, the steam she’d built up starting her class petering out nearly instantly.

“Yes, Applejack it is,” Rainbow interjected for the waning pegasus, “We’re sick of hearing Rarity complain about your dates and we all agreed Fluttershy is the best pony to educate you.”

“Ah don’t see how my relationship with Rarity is any of your business,” Applejack huffed, “And what are you doing here RD, just gonna sit there and make fun? Cuz I reckon that isn’t helpful to the learnin’ process.”

“Nope. I’m co-teaching the course at the request of Fluttershy. I’ll be helping with any ‘visual aids’ she has to cover.” Rainbow Dash grinned triumphantly from where she sat in the corner of the small schoolhouse.

“Alright, and what’s SHE doin’ here?” Applejack pointed to her right where Twilight sat with a small sheaf of blank paper ready to accept the ink from quill tip that she’d set aside precisely to the right.

“Oh, I just heard someone finally signed up to teach one of the evening classes through the community education program I set up and since it sounded like such an interesting subject I had to sign up myself,” Twilight explained, before casting a measuring glance at her inkwell before adjusting it a titch to the right. Nodding to herself she turned back to Fluttershy, “Dr. Fluttershy if you’d please continue, we’re sorry for the interruption.”

“Wait a sec,” Applejack interrupted again before the yellow pegasus could take over, “Twi is a doctor? I thought she just did basic first aid and looking after animals that were treated by the vet.”

“Oh, um, I actually went to school to become a vet but I couldn’t get through the biology courses. I ended up getting a doctorate in, um… something else,” Fluttershy told them.

“In what?”

“Um, adorableness>”

“Beg pardon.”

“Adorabbleness.”

“Still couldn’t hear yah.”

“Adorableness,” Rainbow butted in with an aggrieved tone, “She has a PhD in Adorableness.”

“…That ain’t a real thing.”

“Actually, I’ve got my PhD just had an Adorableness emphasis. Properly said, I’m a Doctor of Romantic Interaction, Attraction, and Abstraction. The Adorableness field is concerned with appearances and presentation.”

The three ponies present stared at Fluttershy.

“There are classes for that kind of thing?” Applejack asked Twilight.

“I… I heard of them but I thought they were joke classes meant for the ponies who couldn’t handle higher education and just wanted to have something to fill their general credits…” Twilight said stunned, “I didn’t know there was an entire department and degree of coursework for them.”

“Oh, it’s a very old and distinguished if unmentioned career,” Fluttershy continued, “I’m qualified to handle any matchmaking and assist with relationship difficulties of most any kind. I’ve actually helped several ponies in town with their romantic entanglements.”

Again all the ponies in the room were struck dumb.

“Um… If we could begin then?”

There were no objections and Fluttershy wrote on her chalkboard again, putting down the name of the course and her title underneath it.

“Now, this will be a class very dependent on participation so to start are there any questions you want to ask before we begin?”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Romance 101 with Professor Fluttershy.

I have so much fun with this idea. If I was more confident it'd be its own series of stories centered around those classes.

Oh and other people wrote stuff for this ship too. It was over here, I think

How and Why to Dress for Romantic Success

“Alright, tonight I want to start with something that might seem simple but can rather quickly get out of hoof if you don’t pay attention. What to wear for a romantic encounter. To start can any of you tell me reasons why you dress up?” Fluttershy glanced around the room at her students. Twilight looked around furtively and started to raise a tentative hoof. Fluttershy smiled and nodded at her.

“I don’t see what’s so important about getting’ all gussied up t’all,” Applejack broke in, unaware or unheeding of the fact Twilight was being called on, “It’s not like we wear clothes anyway, what’s the matter with showin’ up in something we feel comfortable in, say our skin?” Applejack gestured to herself.

Fluttershy sighed and turned from her recalcitrant student to her eager one, “Twilight do you have an idea why you would dress up?”

“Um, because since we don’t wear clothes normally, the appearance of clothes adds mystery to an appearance that can draw the attention of those around you in flattering manner,” Twilight suggested hesitantly.

Nodding Fluttershy turned and wrote, ‘sex appeal,’ ignoring how the student she’d called on ignited in a luminous blush as her explanation was summed up so succinctly.

“That’s a good answer Twilight. For some ponies the presence of clothing can have an attractive effect. But unfortunately that can be fairly situational, as some ponies find that clothing detracts from the natural features of a pony. As with all cases there can be a whole spectrum of what a pony likes or doesn’t like. One pony may like large elegant dresses, while another may find a simple saddle to be more becoming and flattering for ponies. I know at least one pony who thought that their marefriend wearing an oversized stallion’s shirt was incredibly attractive in a partner for various reasons.” Fluttershy explained. Rainbow Dash coughed uncomfortably and Fluttershy ignored her as she finished, “As with most things in a relationship communicating with your partner to find out what they find attractive or not can be very important. But at the same time while wearing something to attract a partner is a reason to wear things for an encounter, it may not be what we’re looking for. Let’s go back to what Applejack called ‘getting gussied up.’ What are some meanings for it?”
Applejack and Twilight raised their hooves immediately and Fluttershy nodded at the Earth Pony.
“Just getting’ gussied up. Goin’ to a spa, putting on a nice dress. Makin’ yourself look ‘nice’ for the other pony.”

Fluttershy nodded. “So you put on a nice dress for all your dates?” she questioned.

“Hay no,” Applejack objected, “I usually just dust off my hate make sure my hooves are clean and whatnot.”

“Is that “gussyin’ up?” Fluttershy asked, “I mean you’re not going au natural. You’re making sure you’re extra clean and presentable.”

“I guess it kinda is,” Applejack admitted, “But it’s two different things!”

“Of course it is,” Fluttershy accepted, “But why not just show up straight from work?”

“Because Rarity’d-“

Fluttershy held up a hoof. “Supposing that your partner didn’t have ‘a heart with a Mr. Clean label on it,’” Fluttershy added, picking one of the groups favorite references to their mutual friend’s tidy habits,
“Would you go then?”

“Well, no,” Applejack said slowly, considering her words.

“Why not? If she doesn’t think less of you for being dirty then why clean up? Twilight?” Fluttershy nodded to wear the purple unicorn had been practically vibrating in her seat hoping for a chance to speak.

“Because it shows you care about how you look to them and thus you care how they think of you,” Twilight spat.

“Right, thank you Twilight,” Fluttershy nodded again as Twilight quietly exulted in her victory, “One of the best reasons to make yourself presentable for an encounter with your partner is because you want them to see and know you care about your appearance with them and thus you care about their feelings toward you.”

“I still don’t see what that has to do with the dresses,” Applejack huffed.

“Putting aside the social dictates of the situation, such as going to a fancy restaurant,” Fluttershy turned back to AJ explaining, “Those spectrums I love bringing up comes into play again. For a pony who is used to being clean and tidy, for her showing up clean and tidy is likely a given, and not considered special in anyway. For those ponies sometimes a teensy weensy bit more effort can be called for, and it’s up to the two of you to find out where you both fall comfortably in each other’s range. If I might make a suggest, try wearing one of your bolo ties next time you go out and tell me what kind of response you get.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Suit up.

Yeah, shoulda done a series of stories for this.

Some thing with some more stuff. Like this stuff but different.

A Standing Reservation

Thunder crashed outside the small cottage on the outskirts of the everfree. Inside the building was full of light, but lacking the usual liveliness of dozens of critters going about their business and helping the pony that lived there. No, the wilder creatures had chosen, as they usually did, to hide in their holes and homes to wait out the storm, leaving just the pony and a single bunny to watch over the structure at large. The pony in question was alternating between pacing around her living room and streaking to hide under the nearest piece of furniture whenever lightning struck and thunder ripped through the house. The rabbit however appeared to bored with the repeated antics of his ‘owner’ and was instead dividing his attention between kicking her out from under the furniture and watching a stopwatch.

“Oh,” Fluttershy moaned, resuming her pacing around her coffee table, “Why isn’t she here yet? She’s always comes home on days like these. What if she had an accident?”

Fluttershy turned to her bunny for an answer who just gave her an unpleasant look and pointed at his stopwatch, to Fluttershy’s confusion. He slapped his forehead in exasperation and pointed again, then mimed sipping something from a cup daintily.

“Oh, you’re right Angel, if she does show up she’ll probably want something to drink. I’ll get some tea started.”

With the pony in the kitchen for at least as long as it took her to put a kettle on Angel rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh. Occaisionally, glancing at the watch, Angel thought Fluttershy was entirely too quick when she reentered the room a moment later.

“Was that the door?” she asked, “I thought I heard someone at the door. I wish she’d learn I don’t mind if she just comes in, you will let her in if she knocks right Angel Bunny?”

Angel glared at the pegasus and mimed drinking tea again, causing Fluttershy to panic and run back into the kitchen. The rabbit tried to get to a relaxed position but was interrupted as thunder roared outside and loud squeak and the screech of wood on linoleum told him that his pony had found her way under the kitchen table.

It took him two minutes to get her out from under there and return to his seat in the living room next to the watch. Behind him Fluttershy finished setting out a pot of a hot nice smelling brew and returned to fret in the living room properly. She was interrupted again by thunder, then by another gesture from Angel that reminded her of some minor preparatory task she could be doing. Each repeated a couple more times before finally Angel looked at the watch and heaved a sigh of relief. Fluttershy had resumed her standing attempt to wear a circle into her floor when he thumped his foot for her attention.

“What is it? Do you hear something?”

Angel rolled his eyes and held up his watch and three tiny fuzzy digits. Then he lowered one. Then another. As the last digit went down the stopwatched stopped on zero and the front door of Fluttershy’s cottage was knocked on loudly.

“Fluttershy? You in there?” a voice called from outside.

“Oh, she’s here!” Fluttershy exclaimed in her loudest indoor voice, which amounted to a normal speaking voice for most ponies, “Thank you Angel.” She nuzzled the bunny and after a few seconds it smacked her softly and pointed at the door where their guest was knocking again.

“Right, I’ll get it,” Fluttershy straightened herself, casually brushing her back into place where worry had started to worry it out of position, putting on a guise of innocent curiosity she opened the door.

A soaking wet ball of blue and spectrum colored pony immediately rolled into the room and Fluttershy closed the door behind it.

“Hey Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash greeted her friend with a wet hoof, “Um… Sorry to do this again but do you mind if I stay at your place til the storm blows over?”

“Of course, you know you’re always welcome to stay whenever you want,” Fluttershy pulled a pair of warm towels that Angel had reminded her to set aside from where she’d laid them and handed one to Rainbow to use on her mane and front while Fluttershy helped her dry her back.

“Thanks ‘Shy,” Rainbow said through a faceful of towel, she rubbed herself down thoroughly trying to catch the moisture on her before she soaked her friends carpet, “I swear one of these days I’m going to properly weatherproof my house so I can stay in it on storm days.”

“Can you weatherproof a cloud?” Fluttershy asked incredulously, wiping off Rainbow’s tail.

“Um… Probably. I mean Cloudsdale has weather too but I don’t know if they use the same kind of cloud material I did for my house. I’ll have to try to remember that next time I’m there.”

“Alright,” Fluttershy agreed, taking the wet towels to put them away, “I’ve got some fresh tea in the kitchen. And I just put dinner in the oven. Do you need anything while I’m up?”

“No, just this usual stuff is fine, thanks,” Rainbow took a seat in the kitchen and poured herself some of the warming brew Fluttershy always seemed to have ready for her visits, then poured Fluttershy one as well. She blew on it and started to drink when she felt a pair of firm hooves move across her shoulders and begin massaging. Rainbow turned to protest but was cut off as soon as she started, the ministrations of Fluttershy’s hoofwork began.

“Ooh,” Rainbow groaned as her friend massaged her sore muscles, “You don’t have to do that but PLEASE don’t stop.”

Fluttershy smiled quietly and continued, ‘Here at Fluttershy’s we aim to please, isn’t that right Angel?”

The bunny scoffed quietly from where it had lain down in a padded basket in the kitchen, the stopwatch forgotten in the other room. Only opening an eye when a loud crash of lightning and thunder suddenly pealed through. He watched the yellow pegasus fail to even flinch as she leaned in close to her friend, the storm forgotten in the face of her company. Seeing all was well he nodded and lay back down for a much deserved nap.

At the table Rainbow groaned again, “Oh yeah… Hotel Fluttershy is best Hotel.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Welcome to the Hotel Equestria.

This is simultaneously one of my favorites and one of my most disliked. I feel like I could have done better. But what I did was still pretty good I guess.

Compilation for this prompt.

A Five-Way Split, for Six-Way Makeouts.

The five friends stood gathered around the sick bed of a sixth. The doctors had informed them that she would be lucky to survive the night and if they had anything to tell her then now was the time. One by one they took their turn standing by the yellow pegasus’ bedside and pouring their heart out to her in low tones that if the others could hear they pretended they couldn’t.

Applejack was quiet and grim and was the briefest. She had had to stop halfway through and give the pegasus a firm but gentle hug before pulling away and finishing what she had to say.

Twilight was there in sleep deprived disheveled appearance, having lacked time to clean up before coming, she hadn’t slept in days, as evidenced by the dark rings around her eyes, and she’d spent more than a little of that time crying instead of researching a way around what was happening before them, as the redness in them showed. She didn’t cry when she spoke but she repeatedly choked on her words. Her volume was the second least controlled of them and her friends, while ignoring what she said at the moment, resolved to take her aside later and scold her for feelings of having failed Fluttershy by not solving the problem.

Rarity’s voice was carefully controlled when she took her turn and managed to keep from being overheard by anypony. It was to her endless shame that she only managed to say half the things she wanted to before she broke into quiet sobs that were a stark contrast to the hammy loud ones she so frequently effected. It took severe comforting from her friends before she could get herself to a point where she could finish.

Rainbow Dash never managed to finish a full sentence of whatever she had to say to her oldest friend. She broke out into loud sobs almost immediately, her stoic exterior breaking at the first attempt to communicate. Any words she had to say were lost in her cries and at length she spent her turn just holding her old friend and crying until she was led away.

When Pinkie’s turn came she shushed Rarity’s invitation from where she’d been sitting at the foot of Fluttershy’s bed, not facing the yellow pegasus at all but instead glaring at every corner of the room as though daring it to try something. After several moments Fluttershy was wracked with another series of weak hacking coughs before she stilled. Her friends turned to her with concern save for Pinkie. Who suddenly sprang to her feet and jumped at a random part of the room.

“Pinkie, what are you-“ Twilight’s voice cut off midword as she suddenly froze.

Everything in the room seemed to take on a warmer red hue as it instantly stopped where it was. The world became deathly quiet and still. Except for a pink pony who tackled a black mass that had been standing, unseen by anypony there, until Pinkie had taken it down.

“No,” Pinkie told the figure as it struggled beneath her and against its own tangled robes.

“What? Huh, this isn’t supposed to happen!” the robed figure finally hooked a black clothed hoof over its hood and pulled it back to reveal a white earth pony mare with black splotches of color along her ears, eyes, nose and mouth, making her face look like a mocking simile of a pony skull, her hair at first appeared to be thing and white like the lingering strands stuck on an elderly pony’s scalp, though further examination quickly showed it to just be a side effect of her hair color which seemed to change to enhance the illusion no matter which way she turned. When ignored however the mare still managed to look quite comely despite her unfortunate coloration.

“How did you do that? How did you know there was a that to be done?” the skull patterned pony demanded, her voice carrying an archaic lilt that reminded Pinkie vaguely of Luna.

“I knew you’d show up eventually,” Pinkie declared triumphantly, “So I watched out for you and was ready when you did.” Her tone then changed as she observed that stopped world around her. “Why is everybody holding still like that anyway.”

“Because,” the white pony grunted as she shunted Pinkie off her to stand, “It is easier to stop time than it is to stop me. You must know that you cannot prevent me from carrying out my duty.”

The robed mare straightened and glared a challenge at Pinkie.

“Nope. I’m well aware,” Pinkied chirped, “Death can’t be stopped.”

“Good,” the mare said with a happy nod, moving to step past where Pinkied sat between her and Fluttershy’s frozen figure, “Now if you’ll kindly move aside.”

“Buut,” Pinkie continued, putting a hoof out to block Death’s advance, “you can be bargained with.”

“Huh?” Death replied numbly, “Oh, that, I’m sorry but I don’t play chess or anything to let a pony have another chance at life. The excess living they did when they won was wrecking my numbers.”

“Aw,” Pinkie said, nudging the chess set she’d hidden under Fluttershy’s bed back under it with a hind hoof, “Then how about a trade instead?”

“Nope. No exchanges. All internees must have a proper cause of death. I can’t just have you fall over stone dead instead of her, it’d be suspicious.”

“I was actually going to ask if we could split the difference,” Pinkie offered.

Death stopped to consider this for a moment. “You mean, you give up half of what’s left of YOUR life to extend hers?”

“I was actually thinking all five of us,” Pinkie explained, “That way we can all go out at once if we go out at all.”

“I can’t let you make deals using other pony’s lifespans,” Death told her flatly, “They have to have a say in it.”

“But I have their power of attorney,” Pinkie replied, pulling out a paper that had five signatures on it, “I got them to give it to me last week during a game of truth or dare.”

Death examined the paper that appeared to have been written messily and hurriedly in crayon but from what she could tell was still a binding legal document, “Well… I suppose this will do. But you realise that all of you will die at the same time. You would be making whatever ponies you six end up with at the end of your lives all very unhappy.“

Pinkie shook her head, “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. I’ve got a plan that involves six way make outs. Do we have a deal?”

Death stared at the pink pony flabbergasted as she tried to piece together how exactly a six way make out session would work.

“Y’know what, fine. You seem nice enough and something tells me you’d make my non-life miserable if I said, ‘no’,” Death finally capitulated, “Enjoy your marginally shortened life span.”

“Aw, thanks Deathy Weathy. You’re the best.” Pinkie hugged the mare close before continuing, “I know, you should come by the Corner some time and I’ll throw you a thank you party.”

“Um, ok,” Death replied, uncomfortable with how friendly this encounter was.

“Great! You’re the best. Just drop by whenever you have time. I’ll be ready for you. Now you must be really busy so I’ll let you go.” Pinkie grabbed the white mare and planted a solid kiss on her that lasted an instant. A fairly long instant because time was stopped, but an instant none the less. As she let go Pinkie took on the same red hue as the rest of the world.

Death stared at the frozen pink pony and touched a hoof to her lips tentatively. They still tingled and tasted of cotton candy.

“Well…. Alright then. Later…”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Death cannot be stopped.

I really have no idea what the story title means... Huh. Hehe. Pinkie looked death in the eye and kissed it.

Compilation of stories relating to this prompt.

Nothing is wrong, everything is fine. And it needs fixed!

Twilight stared as she went over her schedule for a third time and came to the same conclusion. She had checked it over and over and each time came up with the same impossible result. The paper lay in front of her mocking her. Somehow she had to have missed something. If the schedule was right she had… extra time.

“SPIKE!” Twilight called out, “Are you sure we finished that chemistry work?”

Spike came in from where he’d been cleaning the kitchen and nodded affirmatively, before continuing his cleaning in the main room.

“You’re sure?” she asked again.

“Yeah, Twilight. I sent the results off a week ago.”

Twilight tapped her chin as she thought and asked Spike about another task on the schedule. Then another. And another. Each time receiving an affirmative response that they had finished all those things.

“What’s going on Twi?”

“I screwed up my schedule somehow. I have extra time!” she levitated the calendar over to him and he dropped his feather duster to catch it.

“Huh.” He looked over the chicken scratches on the calendar trying to puzzle them out. “I don’t see the big deal, so you have some free time.”

“No, not free time Spike,” Twilight said trotting in a circle around the table she’d been working at, “I schedule my free time. This is EXTRA time. At least three whole days’ worth. How could I have been so irresponsible? Obviously I’m forgetting something important.”

“I’m still not sure I see the problem,” Spike replied scratching his head, “Why not just call it free time and go visit your friends? I mean you haven’t gone to Pinkie’s in a while.”

“What?”

Spike pointed at the calendar. “You’ve barely seen Pinkie at all this month. She’s only on here once and that was for… Actually I can’t tell what this is for… ‘rainbow flavoring research?’ That can’t be right, I’d have wanted to be in on that.”

Spike continued to speculate on what the line said while Twilight looked over his shoulder at the calendar. Her eyes widened as the pieces fell together and she began to get a full on panic going.

“Oh, this is bad,” she muttered, rushing over to a drawer and pulling it open. She pulled out an old calendar and examined it, “Oh, this is very bad.”

“Huh?” Spike finally separated from his musing over the paper to ask, “What’s wrong now?”

“It’s not ‘extra time’ at all!” Twilight exclaimed, “It’s Pinkie time. Those are the hours I set aside in case Pinkie interrupts me for a party or something.” Her eyes darted over the calendars as she pulled them out. “It looks like she hasn’t invited me to some event of hers in over a month!”

“But Pinkie has a party basically every week,” Spike interjected.

“I know!” Twilight’s magic grip on the papers exploded and sent them flying everywhere. “You don’t think she stopped inviting me because she thinks I don’t enjoy them do you?”

“Um, no,” Spike answered, moving to catch as many of the flying sheets as she could, “I mean I love her parties and she-“

“Spike, stay here. I’m going to get to the bottom of this,” Twilight declared, rushing to the library door and out.

“Um, okay… bye,” Spike waved feebly. Then returned to cleaning the increased mess left in the unicorns wake.

—-

Twilight ran to Sugarcube Corner as quickly as she could, in her haste she almost ran over a group of ponies that had gathered outside. Slowing down she recognized her other friends as they turned to face her.

“Lemme guess,” Rainbow Dash started for them, “You just realized Pinkie hasn’t invited you to anything in over a month.”

“Yes!”

“So you’re dashing over here to figure out what’s wrong,” Applejack continued.

“Yes!”

“Because you’re really worried and you want to make sure everything is okay and that she hasn’t suddenly wanted to stop being your friend?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yes!”

“Join the club, darling,” Rarity told her.

“Hubwha?” Twilight blubbered, “You too?”

“Yep, none of us have been invited to anything either. I asked around on the way over and nopony recalls Pinkie throwing ANY parties at all lately,” Applejack explained.

Twilight stared blankly at her friends before putting on a determined expression. “Alright girls, let’s go talk to Pinkie and get to the bottom of this.” As one the five ponies turned and entered the bakery.

Inside the counter was unmanned. They rang the bell and waited. A minute later a pink earth pony walked out of the kitchen with a fresh tray of baked goodies and set them on the counter.

“Hey girls, what’s up,” the mare asked.

It took them a minute longer than it should have to identify the pony in front of them, despite her appearance matching what it always did.

“Pinkie?” they all chorused incredulously.

“Um, yep that’s me. What’s up?” Pinkie asked them over the counter.

“But you… walked into the room.” Rarity stared, temporarily forgetting her manners.

“That’s how ponies get around,” Pinkie said, “Why? Did you think I was sick or something?”

“You never just WALK Pinkie. You hop, or skip, or dance, wherever you go,” Rainbow Dash explained.

“Or float by a mass of balloons,” Fluttershy added.

Pinkie considered this for a moment, “Huh… I guess I do. Wonder when I stopped. Oh well, can I get you girls anything.”

“Um, how about we start with why you haven’t invited us to any of your parties, and move on from there,” Twilight suggested.

“I haven’t thrown any parties,” Pinkie told them.

“Oh, well that makes sense,” Twilight replied, all of them looking relieved for a moment before the words connected and they all stared at Pinkie like she’d grown an extra pair of hooves. “Say again?”

“I haven’t thrown any parties. Well, okay I threw a party for a foal shower but they asked me to and I didn’t have anything else planned. Wasn’t a big thing. But other than that, I really haven’t felt like throwing any parties.”

What followed would later be called the Pink-quistion. Where the pink mare was studied, prodded, and probed for hours while her friends tried to figure out what was wrong with her, or if she’d been replaced by a changeling or something equally outrageous. The conclusion they came to was the most outrageous of all possibilities. Pinkie just didn’t feel like throwing parties at random anymore. Or random anything really. She’d just been being a baker for over a month, and she had no inclination toward changing that.

Author's Note

The Prompt: And then, she stopped.

I don't feel like I quite got the impact I wanted with this. Ah well.

A compilation of this prompt.

Hitting the Ground Running

“Alright girls, it’s time to go into the Everfree Forest and defeat Discord!” the Element of Magic said, striking a noble pose to show off the tiara on her head. Then abandoning the pose to keep it from sliding off and around her horn.

The elements of Loyalty, Laughter, and Honesty cheered, their oversized necklaces jangled and sparkled around their necks as they stomped approval. Behind them the colts, Kindness and Generosity looked a bit more dubious of this grand adventure but were unable to go against the flow set by the four.

“Let’s make sure we have everything,” Magic said, striking a pose less likely to tip her tiara, “Elements, check. Creepy dark forest. Check. Six friends who embody the-“ She cut off and glared at the Elements of Laughter and Loyalty who had stopped paying attention and been overcome with giggles. “Stop that! We’re supposed to be saving Equestria.”

“But,” Loyalty giggled helplessly, “you sound just like our mom!”

“Yeah,” Laughter chortled.

“Your mother is a very important and well respected mare. I’m proud to be compared to her,” Magic huffed. Now Honesty joined in with the two L elements and began laughing too.

“Stop that this instant,” Magic demanded imperiously.

“Um, guys. Maybe we should head back. I don’t think we’re supposed to have these,” Kindness fiddled with the butterfly jeweled necklace.

“Yeah, I don’t want to get in trouble with mama because of you again Ari,” Generosity added.

“I am the Element of Magic and you will refer to me as such, Generosity,” Ari told the colt.

“Now she sounds like her mom,” Laughter pointed out, and Loyalty began laughing again.

“You two stop laughing, only one of you is supposed to be laughter!”

“Why do I have to be Honesty again?” the female Pegasus asked, “Hey, Bambi, wanna trade? I wanna be kindness for a while.”

“Bambino…” the male Pegasus, Bambi, answered, “I really think we should give these back.”

Bambi or Bambino’s words went unheeded as the group fell into a massive fit of nearly equal parts bickering, embarrassing stories used to counter-bicker, and laughter. This continued until an older more mature voice made itself known.

“ARIANE AMBROSIA APPLE,” the voice shouted. Immediately the former Element of Magic flinched and dumped the tiara that was only half on her head into a saddlebag and tried to dive behind the tan coated Generosity.

“And Charden!” the voice added, approaching from the road nearest the Everfree entrance the kids had chosen. “What are you and your sister getting up to THIS TIME?”

Charden, the now former generosity, immediately spilled out his guts, describing the way his sister had rounded them up and gotten the Sparkle Pie twins, Midnight Snack, and Moon Gleam Pie, to bring the elements from their house. After the confession Applejack stared at the line of fillies and colts, who had instinctively lined up and put on their shame faces once it became clear the voice of authority was on the scene. She gave them a minute to sweat before marching up the line collecting elements and tossing them into the saddlebags of the pinkish and purplish unicorn and earth pony fillies.

“Now you two take those STRAIGHT home, and tell your momma what ye did,” Applejack ordered, “Now get on now.” She nudged them firmly and the two took off, laughter becoming audible once they were out of sight.

“Charden, Ariane. You’re to got STRAIGHT back to the farm, find Big Macintosh and ask him for chores to do ‘til I get home.”

The pair replied completely differently from each other, with Charden sighing in relief at a light punishment and Ariane gasping like she’d been told she was going to get whipped.

“But he might give me something where I’ll get dirty! Mother would be furious,” Ariane wheedled.

“She’ll get over it,” Applejack told her flatly, “Besides a little dirt never hurt nopony.”

“What if I get sick from germs or something?”

“Well, the best way I know to not get sick are healthy doses of getting dirty your entire life. Oh look, I just told you to go do that. Now skedaddle.” AJ snapped her tail in their direction and Charden pulled his sister onto his back and ran before she could open her mouth again.

“Dubya, Bambino, I’m taking you two home,” Applejack told them. She may have wanted to see to the dirtying of her own children but AJ was loathe to leave two young kids wandering to Fluttershy’s house so close to the forest FROM so close to the forest.

“Don’t call me Dubya,” the female Pegasus mumbled.

“Beg pardon?” Applejack asked archly.

“I don’t want to be called Dubya. It make me sound like I’m stupid or incompetent or something.”

“Well, it’s either that or Flower for nicknames Wildflower so you’ll just have to pick and let me know.”

Wildflower grumbled her assent and pawed at the ground. Applejack turned to the remaining colt and last child.

“You have anything to say, Bambi?”

“Bambin- I mean. Nope,” he replied, quietly.

“Good,” Applejack said cheerily, “now let’s get you home. I’m sure your mom’s worried sick with Dash out to Bolts training this week.”

Meekly the two pegasi kids followed the older pony back toward their home. Mentally the earth pony chuckled at their antics. Stealing the Elements of Harmony to go on an adventure. She loved them but sometimes she caught herself yearning for the days of the CMC. Then she checked herself and prayed she hadn’t said any of that out loud. When they’d first had their kids the six friends had sworn, and then sworn everyone they knew to secrecy about the prior existence of that particular club. Three ponies had been bad enough. What would they do with SIX Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Author's Note

The Prompt: Ponies: The Next Generation

I had difficulty with the names so thanks to the folks whose names I stole for this. I like them lil fillies and they adventures.

Prompt compilation here.

Letters from the Matterhoof

“Spike, take a letter.”

“Now?”

“No, time like the present. Can you reach the writing supplies?”

“Um… little tied up at the moment Twi.”

“I’ll get them, now here take this down.”

“Alright…”

“Dear Princess Celestia,

Enclosed you will find three letters. Well, two letters since one of them is for you, I’ll just add yours to the end of this short message. The other two letters are for my parents and Shining and Cadance. If you could see to their delivery I would be incredibly grateful.

Princess Celestia, I’m currently in a position where I find myself looking back on my life and feeling I need to thank all the ponies who helped me become who I am today. Also, I need to make some frank confessions. You are easily in the top ten for “ponies who’ve helped my development,” if it were not for my friends that’d be a much smaller number. I’d stop and plot out exactly which number you are but I’m short on time for the moment.

I just wanted to thank you for all you’ve done for me. I never had a moment with you recently where we could catch up and just talk so I’ll have to say everything I can here. The opportunities you’ve given me since you took me on as your student have been beyond anything I could have dreamed of. And I’ve never been so grateful for the chance to spend as much time in your company as I did. I’m pretty sure if it weren’t for you and your insidious corrupting ways I’d have restricted myself to a strict diet of only what was necessary for my survival before I’d gotten out of grade school. On the other hoof though I find myself with mostly you to blame for my love of cake. Thank you for that. I want to thank you for so many of the things you’ve done for me and I now find myself short of time to do it. I hope there are some little ways I’ve influenced you over the years too. If I could chance a guess I’d wager you never had such a fond penchant for pranks before you had to find ways to cheer up a filly who missed spending every moment with her family. In a lot of ways you’ve been like a second mother to me.

Love, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Wow that was pretty Twi.”

“Thanks Spike. Now let’s get on with the other one. I think I hear the wood cracking so we’re running out of time.

Dear BBBFF,

I don’t have a lot of time for this, and I’m happy we were able to spend time catching up before your wedding as I’m sure if we hadn’t I wouldn’t have any time to say all I’d want to. Instead I just wanted to tell you I love you. I don’t know a lot of ponies with brothers but of all the ones I do know I’d say that I got the best deal. Sure some of my friends might point out Applejack’s brother Big Macintosh, but I feel sorry for her. If I had to live with a stallion like that with all those muscles. Ooh if I weren’t in a committed relationship to a nice mare I might just want to tackle him to the ground and-”

“Twi?”

“Oh, sorry Spike.

Anyway, you’re the best brother I never had the chance to ask for and I wanted to thank you. That’s all.

Oh, and I’m the one who kept stealing all your pin-up magazines, not Dad. Sorry. Don’t look so surprised, you know I’m dating a mare. You’re the only one who knows besides my friends. PLEASE DON’T TELL MOM. She’s so conservative it’d kill her or drive her to pull me from wherever I was resting and kill me THEN her. Then maybe you too just to be sure. Though she’d probably wait for grandkids. Just keep it quiet…

Love, Twily

Dear Cadance,

I just told Shining Armor in his letter how glad I am that I got to spend time with him for the wedding. The same goes for you. It had been to long since we last talked before and I’m glad we were able to reconnect and become friends again.

The days I spent with you as my foalsitter and friend, though I’ll always consider you my old foalsitter, are some of the happiest in my memory and I can’t ever thank you enough for being so willing to spend time with a silly filly like me. I know you say you’re the lucky one but I think if one of us one the lottery then it was me.

I also have something to get off my chest while I’m doing this. You were my first crush. You’re just too good looking! I don’t know what it was your body or your coloration but GRAH. I spent nights awake wishing you’d come ‘tuck me in’ and then you’d-”

“Twilight! Can we please have some dignity?”

“Right, Sorry Spike.

Anyway Cadance, thanks for everything.

Love, Twilight

Dear Mom and Dad-“

“Hey guys. Pinkie said you- Are you writing a letter?”

“Rainbow Dash! Thank goodness you’re here. Um… we were just…”

“Hahaha. That’s so like you Twilight. ‘Dear Princess Celestia, Today I learned not to go on an adventure in the mountains with just flightless ponies around or else you might end up mostly tied up alongside your baby dragon and hanging upside down over a five hundred meter drop.’”

“That was NOT what we were writing! …Though Spike-”

“Way ahead of you Twilight. …hundred meter drop.”

”HEY! TWILIGHT! I FOUND RAINBOW DASH!”

“Thank you Pinkie…”

“Heh. So you guys want me to save you now? Cuz I could come back after you finish catching up on your letter writing.”

“Now please. The tree branch that got caught in the rocks has been creaking ominously for a while now.”

“One Rainbow Dash rescue, coming up.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: The letter home.

Ehehehe. Twilight x Cadance.

More letters home by other people.

Fluttershy Let's Butterflies Live There the Rest of the Year

Thunder crashed and the tiny space where Nightmare Moon appeared filled with dark clouds and an evil laugh, “Bwahahaha, behold I, Nightmare Moon, am retu- wait what in the hay is this?” Nightmare Moon flapped her wings and settled the clouds so she could see the hard clear surface in front of her.

“It’s a glass mason jar with some holes in the lid,” answered a bored voice.

“What?” Nightmare Moon exclaimed, grumbling as she rubbed some of the magic dust that had clung to the sides of the jar to look out and see a bored dark alicorn chewing on a piece of fruit and idly flipping through a book, “Luna? How are we separate! We should be one again! Then we may combine our powers to truly defeat those loathsome ponies who wield the elements and let the night REIGN FOREVER!”

Luna ignored the voice of her inner darkness sitting inside the jar and flipped another page and reached for another piece of fruit. “Nah,” she said, chewing, “I like it this way better. Me enjoying a book while you stay in the little jar. Just as planned.”

“Planned? But… How did you even know I was going to return? There were no prophecies this time,” the toy sized Nightmare Moon shrieked, “I demand to know how this sorcery was done.”

“Discord broke out of his prison in the last year. We figured if he could break out it was possible you might show up again too. Celestia and Twilight helped me enchant the mason jar, just in case.”

“So now what do you plan to do with me,” the tiny alicorn replied haughtily, “I have as much power as you, this jar will not hold me for long.”

“I’m pretty sure you don’t actually. You were using my magic for everything last time and now you’ve barely got a body. By all means though do try. The elements won’t be here to zap you until the Celebration is over, and I’m sure Twilight will appreciate the extra data,” Luna waved a hoof negligently in the direction of a large machine that had wires leading up to the top of the jar, “I’m going to take a nap now. Later Nighty,” Luna lifted the glass and put it in a box, raising the lid to seal it in.

“You can’t do this! I am the Queen of the Night! I will rule all of Equestria! Strike me down as many times as you like I will always return.”

“And we’ll have the jar ready for you every time until you learn to behave yourself. Remind me to take you out for a while next time though. Ponies do a lot of new and interesting things at night these days. It will be fun,” Luna told the jarred pony.

“Fun?” Nightmare Moon asked, the word sounding foreign on her lips, “What is this f-“

“The old word for it is ‘spaß’, don’t worry I had to look it up too. Language kind of got ahead of us,” Luna answered the forming question. Her head looked up from the jar and a voice could be vaguely heard from inside the jar. “Coming!” Luna called out, turning back down to the jar, “You think about that. Night Nighty!” And then the hovering box lid came down and sealed a stunned Nightmare Moon into darkness. She stayed there until the next day when the box was blasted by the Elements of Harmony, and she was banished for another while.

Author's Note

The Prompt: It is the day of the Summer Sun Celebration, and Nightmare Moon is about to be released … again.

If I'd kept writing these little encounters between Luna and NMM I probably would have ended up shipping them. Cue tragic ending

More NMM posts from others, here.

The Views Expressed Here Are Not Necessarily the Views of the Author or the Author's Affiliates

Warning In Advance: The Mane Six only appear in this one briefly. It mostly focuses on the OC characters of the people who come up with the prompts on the Thirty Minute Ponies tumblr.

Six ponies, a hairy human, a pink butterfly monster, and a mechanical beast of porcine nature were conversing pleasantly with each other and enjoying mugs of tea and a delicious cake like food sprinkled with coconut. They appeared to all be waiting for another member to join them, with the exceptions of a grey pegasus and yellow unicorn who had absconded to one corner of the table with a small plate of food and were engaged in the business of snuggling and giggling as the whispered to each other. A purple pony with a cutie mark of a heart and quill sat in the opposite corner mumbling to himself and scribbling on page after page of paper, stopping only to look at thick textbooks, before returning to the papers with the fury of a mother bear over her cubs.

The odd group all sat up, with the exception of the cuddling pair, as the door to the conference room opened to allow light brown unicorn in. They waited politely while the new pony made her way to the head of the conference table and took her seat. She looked over those gathered at the table and seemed to mentally note all in attendance before smiling.

“I’m glad we could all make it. Before we begin the weekly meeting I’d just like everyone to welcome Professor Piggy, and thank him for preparing the tea and cake things we’ve all been enjoying.”

A green earth pony who’d been midsip stopped suddenly and narrowed his eyes at the green and purple mug that matched his coat and mane he’d been drinking from. His eyes darted to the metal pig and back at his mug frantically several times.

“Thank you Miss Thought Bubble. It’s a pleasure to be here. And DB I would hope you of all ponies would recognize that I would not poison all these ponies just to get at you,” the metal pig spoke in an appropriately robotic voice.

DB seemed to accept this reassurance and took another swallow of tea. Seeing the situation defused Thought Bubble nodded and resumed speaking, “Professor Piggy has agreed to come on to help us out while Purple Prose catches up on his backlog of work.” She waved a hoof in the direction of the pony surrounded by textbooks, who, like the pair across from him, had completely failed to notice anything that had happened in the room. “Furthermore Piggy has promised to keep the evil turned down and to try not to destroy his nemesis DB.”

Professor Piggy sat up from where he’d been idly drawing pictures of two ponies kissing with a start and turned to face the speaker, “I don’t recall agreeing to that first part.” As if on cue the green coated earth pony across from him began to choke and gasp before falling under the table writhing. The group stared at the robot who returned the looks with as much confusion as his robotic face could portray, “What? She did say I would TRY not to destroy him. Besides he’s only in agony. As if I could let him off so easily.”

“Is the tea actually safe to drink?” a dragon winged Pegasus asked, looking at his cup speculatively.

“Oh, quite safe. I only poisoned DB’s mug. It struck me as having more finesse. The lambingtons though are pure sin and decadence made of chocolate and sprinkled with coconut. Guaranteed to destroy a diet. You may wish to cut the butterfly off before he finds himself unable to fly under his considerable weight gain.”

Hearing mention of him the butterfly in question looked up from eating its twelfth cake and then sheepishly rubbed its handlike appendages together before pushing the crumb covered plate away.

“Right, well if that’s all I think we should get started. Today’s agenda covers deciding on our prompts for this week and deciding on a theme for next week. Norse what did you have in mind for you prompt?”

The horned helmet wearing pony had no time to answer as the door to the conference room suddenly flew open with a loud bang and more ponies flooded into the room. The members of the TMP group watched in shock as Twilight Sparkle and her friends filed into the room and took combative stances, Rainbow Dash and Applejack running to surround the table and keep them away from the windows.

“Don’t anypony, or human and butterfly,” Twilight nodded at the two non ponies at the table as she spoke, “move. We’re here to punish you for all the stories you keep encouraging people to write!” she declared.

“You’ll never take me alive!” the Viking helmeted pony shouted smashing his mug against the table and holding out the sharp edged remains defensively.

“What?” Twilight said, with disgust, “No, we’re not here to fight. We’re ponies. We’re just keeping you from escaping while your punishment is delivered.”

“And what’s our punishment,” The human at the table asked.

“A severe scolding,” Twilight replied, “Maybe after we’re done with you you’ll think twice about writing stories about bad things happening to us, or us falling inlove with each other. We’re just friends dang it!”

“Surrrre you are,” the TMP group chorused eerily and exchanged knowing glances.

“But… how did you find this place?” Though Bubble asked, turning the subject back to their situation, “We moved the location every week so no one could track us down.”

“I’m afraid that would be my doing,” a mechanical voice spoke. Professor Piggy stood and moved to stand beside Twlight Sparkle as he continued. “It took some time but you finally trusted me enough to bring me to your meetings.”

“You? But we were making you a mod! How could you give up that power?!”

Piggy rubbed one metal hoof against his chest over the PP mark and then looked at it obliquely. “Oh, I assure you I’m being quite well compensated. Speaking of which, my payment?” Piggy turned to Twilight.

“Oh right, Fluttershy?”

The yellow Pegasus came out from where she had been hiding behind Rarity and Pinkie. Twilight nodded to her and Fluttershy turned to Pinkie who broke off from growling at those at the table to look back at her friend. Fluttershy glanced around nervously before darting in and pecking Pinkie on the cheek, her face burning with embarrassment as she did so. Beside Twilight, Piggy clapped his hooves together and made tiny gleeful noises. Loud motors in his head beginning to heat his face to a warm red.

“Alright, alright,” Thought interrupted the little display of horrid wrongness, “Just chew us out already Twilight. We’ve got other things to do today.”

“Oh, I’m not going to chew you out,” Twilight said sounding smug, “We got a professional for that.

“Huh?”

“Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy pulled her shameful face from her hooves and looked at Twilight, who waved at those at the table. “Let them have it.” Fluttershy looked at the assembled members and frowned. Suddenly all those seated there came to the simultaneous realization that they’d have preferred being beaten up to the admonishment they were about to receive.

Author's Note

The Prompt:

This was a hard one to write but the mods liked it so w/e.

More stories for the prompt that was given as a gif this time around here.

A Kind of Mental Short

“Alright, when we’re done here we’ll send Applejack to get Rarity,” Twilight said flipping through the list, “Could we send Applejack once we get close to finishing?”

Twilight turned to where Pinkie was hanging up a Happy Birthday banner with Rarity’s fashion symbol in the center. The pink pony shook her head violently and hung the end of the banner up before answering, “Oh no no no no no. Nothing ruins a surprise party for everyone like the guest of honor just walking in and saying-“

“Hello everypony, oh are you going to throw me a party for my birthday?” Rarity said, walking into sugarcube corner, “I thought we agreed to downplay everypony’s birthdays this year since we were too busy to throw a party for Fluttershy.”

“Actually, we just did that said that so that we’d have an excuse NOT to have a party then so we could throw you a surprise party and Rainbow could still take Fluttershy on a romantic date on her birthday,” Twilight explained, “Thus ki-“ Twilight stopped and looked up to where Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were frantically trying to tie up blue and purple streamers while listening to the conversation. “Um… that is, thus hugging two birds with one hoof…” She spoke experimentally. Above her Fluttershy smiled and continued working.

“I see,” Rarity replied, looking around at the half decorated store. “I say Pinkie are you alright?”

The party pony had slumped down into a sitting position and appeared to be gesticulating wildly between Rarity and the half finished decorating. Her voice unable to sound in the apparent cruelty of the universe that was Rarity showing up early. Applejack stepped up behind Pinkie and lay a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. “Don’t worry I’ll fix it.” Pinkie turned pleading desperate eyes on the farm pony and Applejack smiled at her.

“I’m so sorry, Pinkie,” Rarity said consolingly, “Applejack I can hardly think how you’re going to fix me showing up- Applejack what are you doing?”

Applejack had walked over to the fussy unicorn and had taken one of Rarity’s hooves in her own, the other being used to remove her hat and place it over her heart. Rarity began to make small confused noises as Applejack looked intently into her eyes. “Rarity, I love you,” Applejack told her in a soft serious voice, “Will you do me the honor of dinner with me later this evening?” Rarity stared and worked her jaw trying to form words until Applejack appeared to take her slack jaw expression as an invitation and leaned in and kissed the unicorn deeply. Rarity froze and then made a gleeful noise before her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out into Applejack’s waiting hooves.

Carefully replacing her hat, Applejack maneuvered the insensate unicorn onto her back and spoke to the others, “That’ll have her out for about ten minutes. I’ll take her down to the park and pretend I found her takin’ a nap and bring her back here again. She’ll wake up thinking she was dreaming and usually forgets the details of what happened.”

The other ponies stared in silent amazement at this until one of them found their tongue, “How often does she do that with you?” Applejack sighed and looked wistfully at the pony on her back, “Everytime I try and ask her out.” She let out another heavy sigh and started out the door, “Remember ten minutes tops.”

They watched her go and slowly fell back into the motions of getting ready for the party. Twilight and Pinkie worked together to bring out refreshments. Finally Twilight broached the subject, “Do you think she’s just a really good kisser or is it something about Rarity?” Pinkie shook her head as the pegasi shared a shrug, “I have no idea.” Twilight hung her head thinking about it. “But I kinda wanna find out.” Pinkie added. The girls all shared a look and then nodded guiltily, “Yeah.”

Author's Note

The Prompt:

I liked this one a lot writing it. Funny about also kinda sad. As pegged by the mod who reviewed it. Oh I also heavily favor Rarijack by the way.

More gif prompt stories things

"Our Old Lives Will End. You Must Understand That."

“So it’s really okay if I take the night?” the yellow alicorn asked. Glancing up at the twilight sky.

The soft orange alicorn next to her snorted and replied, “I already told you, yes. I don’t care.”

“Alright, just checking no take backs,” the yellow alicorn declared excitedly, “I’m gonna stay up all night and do all sorts of things.”

“Let’s begin.”

Nodding, the yellow alicorn turned to her sister and they bowed their heads until their horns nearly touched, then experimentally they wove their magic. For a moment their respective auras quailed at the feel of foreign magic before flowing together and the recognition of an old friend. Steadily they pooled the magic together until they couldn’t separate and disperse the gathered magic if they tried. Finally they raised their heads and the magic arched up into the sky, spreading out over it like a blanket to touch every part.

They stood in silence for a moment before the yellow one shuddered, “Oh, that’s a lot of stars. Do I have to move them all?”

“Yes,” the other answered patiently, “They cannot linger into the day, you know that. Besides they’re numerous but very light. Just move them systematically and it should be simple. I have to focus on the sun.”

“Ugh, here let me take the sun,” the yellow alicorn said moving her head very slightly, but not enough to disperse the field that was slowly drawing power up from the land around the alicrons and into their bodies to be channeled upward.

“No take backs, you said.”

“I changed my mind. Just let me have it,” Her face contorted and the magic between them wavered.

“Don’t push, you said- Oh fine! Take it. Just don’t pout about how heavy it is later.”

“Haha. I’m bigger and stronger and definitely powerful enough to take the sun. No take backs.”

“Ugh, let’s just wrap this up,” the orange alicorn shook her head slightly and was mirrored a second later by the other. The magic from the ground and air around them suddenly rushed in, intensifying the spike of light and blanket above into a brightness visible across the land. Then the blanket wrapped itself back up and rushed down to envelop and entwine the two alicorns whose body slowly drank in the magical force. After several minutes the pair stood where they had began, except around them the ground no longer seemed as bright and vibrant.

“Cool, I’ll start the day now. Aaand there. Now wha- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR COAT?!”

The formerly orange mare looked away from where she had been watching her partner raise the sun to examine herself, her coat had turned a deep purple like the sky and her mane had turned ethereal and filled with stars.

“It’s a side effect of the magic. Your own appearance has changed as well.”

The other alicorn checked herself and was surprised she had turned white and her mane flowing in a rainbow of pastel shades.

“This is so cool! How long will the spell last?”

“Did you pay attention to none of what I told you? The spell is permanent. It will last as long as the sky.”

“Then what about when we get old? Do we pass on the connection? Oh hey I can feel the sun without y’know feeling it. This is awesome!”

The darker alicorn sighed, “We are connected to them now. We will last as long as they do. We must learn to get along as we will someday be all the other has. We are sisters in this.” She looked around at the darkened land around the castle where they’d commenced the ritual. “And we will have to prepare the people. In some generations this land will try to turn free again. Unless we stay here and go about taming it ourselves the pony magic that kept it calm is gone.”

“It’s fine. I mean why would we move out of the castle. Now they’ll put us in charge like they promised and we can make the whole government system just like we planned! They’re going to love us.”

The dark alicorn smiled at the last statement, “Yes, I’m sure they will. Let us go meet our new subjects. New sister mine.”

“Oooh. I like the sound of that. We should totally say we’re sisters.”

Author's Note

The prompt: It all started with the Everfree Forest.

I tend to put a lot of thought into these that ends up not getting into the story. I like Celestia and Luna stories a lot and find it a shame I can't do them justice most of the time. Also, I love the idea of historical innacuracy that becomes fact in everyone's mind over time because no one corrected it.

More Everfree stories after the click.Click.

Return and Lose

Bonbon grunted with exertion is as she heaved the heavy travel chest out from the niche that had naturally formed around it with years of tightly packed boxes and odds and ends. Once free it slid smoothly leaving behind a pefect empty shape where it had sat before. Solemnly Bonbon ran her hooves over the surface of the old trunk. She moved with trepidation as she flipped the clasps and flipped the lid open.

She remembered a trip made years ago, on the spur of the moment to forget a heartache. Going to the beach and meeting a beautiful clumsy unicorn mare who could barely keep her hooves straight. An immediate friendship falling into place as the sea colored unicorn’s happy and fun-loving personality acted like a balm for Bonbon’s aches. They ran and played along the beach until the moon was high in the sky and the unicorn, Lyra, she said her name was, asked her if they could meet again tomorrow. Of course Bonbon agreed.

Immediately she was assaulted by the smell of saltwater and the tiniest bit of mildew. Inside the trunk were clothes that she hadn’t worn in years. Left there since the last trip where she had actually used the travel chest for its intended purpose. Dirtied clothes, few as they were, lay limp and stiff from years in the trunk with no care. Casually brushing aside the top layer Bonbon’s eyes fell on the aquamarine blue skin that lay beneath. Right where she knew it would be.

She remembered the second day, arriving at the beach after waking earlier than she’d promised herself she’d let herself wake up on her vacation. Anticipation shaking her down to her hooves. The unicorn came again, tripping as she ran to meet Bonbon, the clumsiness of the day before showing again. A day spent walking the shops on the boardwalk, enjoying the many things they offered. Time spent telling the unicorn all about Bonbon’s life in Ponyville. Boring old Ponyville that drew fascination and wonder from the eyes of the blue-green tinted mare. Then she’d been shocked when the unicorn had nearly broken down into tears when asked about her own home. Was she from around there? The unicorn had explained that the question reminded her that tomorrow was to be her last day in the area, and that no after that she would have no way to keep in touch with her new friend. Bonbon had felt her heart trip with fear at that. And after her friend left she decided to follow her to ask if maybe she could follow her back to her home. A candy shop could do business anywhere after all.

Bonbon delicately reached into the box and withdrew the skin. Unlike the rest of the materials in the box the sealskin was always soft and smooth and had a beautiful sheen as if cared for with the finest oils. The smell of the ocean mingling with the natural scent of the skin’s owner. Soft as only seal skin could be. She held the skin in her hooves and she trembled.

She remembered barely managing to catch up with her friend in a small hidden cove near where they first met, and turning a corner to see her friend slip on a strange garment that fit her like a second skin. She watched as the unicorns limbs shrank and changed, her hindlegs slipping together into one strong appendage. Bonbon stared as her friend slipped into the water and disappeared beneath the waves, and didn’t reappear again. She stayed there that night keeping the water in sight the entire time. Moving around the small cove trying to see if perhaps what she had seen was some trick. Finally she secreted herself between rocks and she waited. At dawn the strange unicorn with her new shape returned, and after dragging herself onto the beach Lyra rolled around and writhed until her shiny new skin split and she managed to wriggle out of it. Peeling it back and folding it carefully. She stood and staggered around the small cove’s beach once or twice. Getting a feel for the limbs. Then once satisfied she hid the strange skin and left the cove smiling. From her place of hiding Bonbon watched all this. Then she hatched a plan.

Bonbon shivered as she held the skin to her muzzle and inhaled deeply the scent of the friend she’d made years ago. She shook and choked on suppressed sobs as she refused to let herself cry. Then she jumped and dropped the skin back into the box when a voice calling out startled her.

“Hey Bons! Hurry up! If we don’t leave now we won’t be able to get a full day of searching in!”

Bonbon swallowed and struggled to keep her voice steady as she called back that she’d be down soon. She swiftly shut the lid, closed the clasps and rammed the box as quietly as she could back into its niche, repiling everything that had been atop it back in place. Then she turned and climbed out of the old attic.

She remembered a day of fun with a friend she had grown too attached to to let go. She remembered waiting carefully after they separated tearfully, promising to never forget each other. She remembered timing her arrival in the cove where her new friend lay sobbing loudly. She remembered she had consoled Lyra, and the panicked and terrified unicorn had spilled out everything, her fears overcoming her need for secrecy. She remembered that they had spent the rest of Bonbon’s vacation tearing apart the beach looking for the lost fur. She remembered offering to let the unicorn stay with her, promising that they would return as soon and often as they could afford to look again. She remembered days spent building her relationship with a unicorn that didn’t quite fit in, who was clumsy on her hooves and misunderstood little things everypony learns young. She remembered every smile she worked so hard to put on the unicorns face. She remembered frequent trips to the beach where they had met to spend the day looking for the lost skin and nights spent together. She remembered dozens of times standing in front of an old trunk holding what she had stolen and swearing that next time she would explain and pray that she could be forgiven.

Author's Note

The Prompt: Tell me a story about a mythical creature that lives in Equestria. Preferably something that hasn’t been seen in the show yet.

Another love hate story here. I love the idea and the story in my head. I'm less in love with what actually ended up written. But it's still good so yeah, hope you liked it.

Monsters everywhere in this compilation post from TMP.

"I refuse to call them the Bouncing Big Brass Balls, Pinkie"

Research Log #1852

Subject: ~~The Rolling Metal Spheres~~, Identified by

Description: Two balls of some orange metal of unknown origin. Matches know modern metals by visual diagnosis. Chemical tests unavailable at this time.

The balls are linked at a center point around which they revolve. The two balls turn around the center point as they roll around. They appear to an outside observer like to balls rolling around the others surface. Close observation has confirmed that the balls roll across the ground not each other.

The surface of the balls are inscribed with minute incredibly detailed etchings that match no historical record. Drawings have been attached.

The orbs appear to be aware of their surrounding as they move away from anypony that approaches them within touch distance and navigate around obstacles. Attempts to make physical contact have been futile. To this point. More detail on behavior in day log

—-

Day 1: The subject rolled into town this morning from the Everfree. The mayor has charged me with examination and observation of the foreign object and to determine whether it is dangerous. This has been made difficult as the subject avoids all contact with ponies and will move away until the pony gives up. Attempts to manipulate the object magically have failed. For unknown reasons the object is immune to at least most common magics. The subject currently stays in the center of the town square only moving to avoid ponies and objects directed at it.

Researcher’s Note: Tell Pinkie it is not a toy and to stop chasing it.

Day 2: No change. Further attempts have been made to apprehend the object and failed. Annotated list has been attached.

Day 3: Annoyed ponies chased the subject clear out of town. Researcher did not interfere and observed no visible change in behavior from the orbs. Once out of town the ponies gave up the chase. Subject returned to its position in town square as soon as the chase ended. No other change.

Day 4: Had Applejack herd subject into my lab. Subject demonstrated new ability to move up and down vertical surfaces with impunity. After finally chasing it into the library it retreated to the ceiling where it has remained. Further testing will begin tomorrow after I get some rest.

Day 5: It somehow got through a double locked door without breaking or leaving it unlocked and is back in place in the center of town. No other changes.

Day 6: Annotated list of attempted field experiments, all failed, has been attached, no changes.

Day 7: No changes.

Day 8: Mayor has ordered a fence put up around the subject and fillies and foals kept away from it after observers late last night saw that the subject had “turned into some sort metal knifey monster thing.” Witnesses said the subject didn’t take any action against them but merely went through a series of motions. They did not see the end of this behavior as the witnesses were inebriated and returned home. Researcher has remonstrated herself in her lack of due diligence in failing to observe subject’s night time behavior. Preparations are being made for night observation.

Day 9: Night observations was undertaken, no change observed.

Day 10: No changes.

Day 11: Breakthrough! On a hunch the subject was observed at night under natural lighting rather than candle or lantern. At moonrise the subject was noted to undergo structural changes. The subject “Unfolded” into a multi-limbed creature bearing a resemblance to a pegasus pony made of various sizes of sharp crescent-shaped pieces of metal. The subject went through several repeated slow movements and did not respond to researcher except to step out of her way when she attempted to make contact. Movements continued until dawn. Sketches of movement have been attached. No visible means by which the object moves or powers itself magically. Continuous soft clicking heard may indicate subject is purely mechanical in nature!

Day 12: Attempts to better view subject with artificial light sources have been confirmed to return the subject to its natural state. Use of refocused moonlight has allowed closer examination. Diagram for the mirror apparatus used for this has been attached along with detailed notes of structure.

Day 13: Subject was not observed to make any change despite lack of any artificial light sources nearby. Instead subject merely turned in place clicking occasionally emitting a soft note similar to that from a music box. Closer inspection unavailable due to new moon creating lack of light.

Day 14: No change.

Day 15: No change.

Day 16: No change.

Day 17: Subject has returned to activity with minor changes. Subject now takes the form of a male pegasus pony instead of a female. Gender determined by slight changes in size and density of form assumed. In addition the movements taken have reversed and the crescents now favor an opposite connection to each other than those taken by its previous form. Further detailed observation attached. The recovery of subject has been timely as new moon phase has ended and moonlight is more available as a light source.

Day 18: No change.

Day 19: No change.

Day 20: Center of town was raided by wild manticore. Before Fluttershy could be called to deal with it the Manticore encountered the subject. Subject responded violently. Manticore remains removed from town square to the Everfree. Three hours spent while the subject went to the nearest water source and cleaned itself. Assorted stiff metal brushes were deployed and used until subject shone as it did previously. After cleaning it assumed pegasus form in center of town as night had fallen. Notes attached.

Day 21: Have sent findings so far to Celestia at mayor’s request despite researchers insistence that an incomplete report would not be helpful. Night time observation showed that the form has again changed, this time to a male unicorn. In addition the clicking in this form sounds half the time like musical notes. Fluttershy was coaxed into helping transcribe the tune and extrapolating possible full melody. Tune is unfamiliar to anypony.

Day 22: Subject was taken away today by Princess Luna. Subject has been identified as Orb Guardian, an ancient ‘toy’ of the princesses that were largely lost during the Lunar Conflict.

The orb is attuned to Princess Luna and was waiting in the place where she had used her magic most heavily last Nightmare Night. Princess Luna explained that the Orbs acted as companions and guards for the princesses in ages past. At night they would change from orb form to dance in various shapes for the princess while playing tunes like a music box. Music box function had apparently degraded significantly while self maintenance retained the Orb Guardian’s ability to dance, albeit slowly along with its last schedule, set to coincide with Lunar phases. Repair quoted as “unlikely.” Further explanation of various behavior has been attached, research log closed.

Author's Note

The Prompt: It came from the Everfree.

This one gave me trouble. It ended up alright I think.

Compilation on TMP

Untitled

Rainbow Dash groaned into her couch at the sound of someone knocking on her door. She thought she’d made it clear to everyone that she needed space for a while. She would still go and hang out with everyone and take care of her weather duties if needed but she really just wanted to be left alone to come to terms with things. She growled and rose to her hooves when the pony at the door had the audacity to knock a second time. Trudging to the door she steeled herself to keep from yelling at whatever dunderhead had decided that she needed to be helped. She threw the door open and froze.

“Fluttershy?”

A pony could be forgiven for not recognizing the yellow pegasus in front of Rainbow Dash as her friend Fluttershy. Her long beautiful mane had been unevenly torn and pulled at leaving an ugly teased mass that would make most ponies rush her immediately to a beautician. Her tail was similarly damaged with half its thickness appearing to have been burned off. Between the two, her body was riddled with cuts and bruises, none terribly serious except a deep gash on one foreleg that had been crudely bandaged. Overall she looked like she had been put through the ringer.

“Fluttershy? What happened to you? All that was left of your cottage was a giant scar in the ground,” Rainbow said as her eyes took in the extent of Fluttershy’s changed appearance before falling on the bandage on her leg. “Are you oka-” Rainbow stepped forward to help then flinched as the smell of burnt hair, flesh, and fresh blood from several different creatures struck her nose.

She suddenly noticed how many of the places on Fluttershy’s coat were bloody but had no associated injury nearby. The largest being a patch on the side of her chest that’s shape reminded Rainbow of the time a drunk pony had tackled her and then vomited on her before passing out. Rainbow’s eyes tracked up to Fluttershy’s face and finally seemed to notice the eyes there. The blue eyes staring back at her weren’t soft like she remembered. They weren’t firm like when she gave animals the stare, or even the cruel cold from her short stint as that minotaurs student. Fluttershy’s eyes seemed very nearly the same, except something in them Rainbow couldn’t identify had hardened and she ached a bit when looked in them.

Rainbow opened her mouth to speak again but was cut off by Fluttershy’s voice, scarily firm. “Please don’t say anymore yet.” Rainbow stopped midword, her mouth hanging open dully as she stared at Fluttershy, and the yellow pegasus took advantage of the opening to step in and kiss Rainbow deeply. Rainbow stood in shock for a long moment and Fluttershy took the lack of response as encouragement and pressed on in the kiss. Somewhere in the back of her stunned mind Rainbow noted that it was a very good kiss. Maybe a little better than she herself was capable of giving. Not much though.

Finally Fluttershy released her lock on Rainbow’s mouth and stepped back from the threshold to Rainbow’s home. Rainbow Dash just stared and tried to understand her mouth working futilely.

“I’m not very brave,” Fluttershy told her, “But I’m not a coward. And I always keep my promises. She made me promise that if we made it back we’d kiss the ponies we love whether they liked it or not. Now I need to go to the hospital. I’ll probably be there for a couple of days.”

Fluttershy turned and walked to the edge of Rainbow’s cloud before the colorful pegasus found her voice again. “Fluttershy,” she called, halting her friend as she spread her wings to leave, “What happened?”

Fluttershy looked over her shoulder at her friend and then turned back away, “I learned that some things can’t be cowed by scolding them. And that sometimes it’s the not-brave pony who gets to go home instead of the one who tried so hard…”

Rainbow started to ask what that meant but found herself talking to empty air as Fluttershy disappeared into the afternoon sky.

Author's Note

The prompt: BACK FROM THE DEAD.

Hn... Still not sure about this one.

Compilation post on TMP.

"The Ponies Donny Didn't Want to See Make Out" OR "The Idea That Kept Me From Submitting for Prompt 159"

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m just destined to fit in with the ponies of this era. Maybe I need to take a decade or two off and just observe them properly.”

Celestia watched as her partner alicorn sat next to her on minute twelve of what promised to be a much longer monologue on what was making it so difficult for her to adjust back into pony society.

“An observational study would likely be very helpful. Of course I’d have to find somepony who doesn’t flee at the sight of me. I swear the Nightmare Moon affair didn’t even last a whole day and everypony in Equestria looks at me like I’m on a hair trigger to launching the moon into the sun and laying low the nation. Maybe I should vacation in the griffin lands for a while. Just long enough for a generation of ponies to die off and the next one come up. That way I can start fresh without everypony cowering at the sight of me. Or maybe I can just do my study in Pony-“

Celestia decided this line of thought had gone on long enough and dived in to interrupt by mashing her mouth to the other pony’s. Luna’s eyes widened in alarm, then relaxed as Celestia pressed the kiss deeper and piled the secrets of an immortal’s experience into it. Luna groaned and responded for a moment before a flash of realization caused her to jerk up and push away from Celestia.

“Celestia! What are you- What was- … Is it just me or have you gotten better at that?” Luna finally managed to settle on a question. Then, seeing the smug look creeping onto Celestia’s face, Luna shook her head and tried again, “I mean, what are you doing? Everypony still believes we are sisters! What if somepony had seen that?”

“Relax,” Celestia replied, rolling onto her side in the oversized pile of pillows the two had been lazing in, “The bravest pony in Equestria would rather walk halfway across the surface of the sun than set foot within six feet of this room without my permission. It’s as private as things can get.”

Luna narrowed her eyes at gave Celestia a calculating look. “That’s awfully specific… Is there a reason they feel that way?”

Celestia shrugged, and dug around under one of the pillows before pulling her head back out with a bag of mixed nuts. “I may have sent one of the Bluebloods to walk the whole thing after he felt he could barge in here without asking.”

Luna gave Celestia an unamused look, as the white alicorn struggled with the bag in her hooves.

“What? He’ll get back. Someday. Probably.” Celestia looked up from the bag and thought for a moment. “I’m pretty sure I fireproofed him before sending him…”

Luna was momentarily stuck for how to respond to that before deciding to just return to the original subject before Celestia’s antics drove it from her mind completely. “Be that as it may this is still a castle, and a castle without spies is like a granary without rats. Somepony has to have found a way to observe you in here.”

Celestia giggled, “They’ve certainly tried. Oh, do you want to hear what happened to the last one? I-“

“Celestia. We are supposed to be sisters. I thought we agreed we wouldn’t correct our little ponies about that.”

“We aren’t going to. But what we get up to in the privacy of the scariest room to try and enter in Equestria is our own business. Besides,” Celestia’s voice wavered and she adopted a worried appearance as she continued, “I couldn’t think of any other way to make you stop talking about leaving.”

Luna’s eye twitched as she tried to convince herself that Celestia was once again effecting hurt in order to make her feel guilty with all the centuries of experience she had accrued. Her will strained as Celestia turned a pair of giant puppy dog eyes on her, and Luna had to grit her teeth resist the urge to fall for what she hoped was just baiting.

“You’re still angry at me aren’t you… That’s why you want to leave so badly isn’t it…” Celestia sagged and looked forlornly at her forgotten bag of nuts.

“I…” Luna growled and shook herself, “Will you stop doing that if I agree to let you kiss me?”

“Deal!” Celestia exclaimed, her saddened visage evaporating like morning dew exposed to the midday sun.

“I knew you were faking!” Luna cried back, point an accusing hoof at the other alicorn.

“Only partly faking,” Celestia corrected, giving up on opening the bag and tossing it across the room before turning to Luna with a serious expression, “You really would break my heart if I lost you again.”

Luna considered the expression on Celestia’s face and found it to be genuine this time. Huffing she sidled back up to the other alicorn and made herself comfortable as she had been before. She sat there for a moment waiting expectantly before turning to Celestia who was sitting beside her quietly saying nothing with a light smile on her face.

“Well?”

“Well what?” Celestia asked.

“I gave you permission, aren’t you going to kiss me?” Luna elaborated.

Celestia considered for a moment before shaking her head, “I don’t think so. I’d much rather kiss a pony who wanted to be kissed.”

Luna blushed and tried to conceal the disappointment she felt come over her. She was interrupted in her thoughts a second time that day by her partner leaning in to kiss her again. This kiss was gentler but lingered longer before they broke again.

“I knew you liked it. You’re so cute,” Celestia said a hint of smugness marring the gentle smile she gave Luna.

“You’re kind of evil,” Luna said matter of factly.

“I know,” Celestia replied, leaning onto Luna and spreading a wing over her, “Lucky for me I recently found an old friend who can keep my evil side in check.”

Luna blushed again and leaned against her ancient friend as the two sat in companionable silence until it was time for them to return to their duties. And their assumed roles as siblings.

Author's Note

The Prompt: Angst followed by makeouts.

Angst requires I work myself up if I really want to do it well. Didn't have time for that here. Also, confession time, I ship Luna and Celestia. Not when they're sisters in story but whenever I can get away with making them not sisters in world history.

More angst. More makeouts. More stories for this prompt.

Smile and Pray No One Notices

This was such a bad idea. I can barely keep my feet as the chariot lands. Oh how I wish it were our last. But, ah, none of that, must keep smiling for all the ponies here to see us. Just keep the smile on and try not to do anything that will show off how bad this is.

Alright, I’m fine. We’ve stopped and I just need to invite the mayor aboard to take us through the royal tour of Cloudsdale. When that’s over I can retire to my chambers and see about fixing this. Ugh, I can barely see him… Or the edge of the chariot… Ugh it’s fine I just need to welcome aboard. Oh crap he’s saying something, PLEASE be sticking to the usual script!

“It’s nice to see you again. I’ve been looking forward to your tour for some time now, Mayor…” …I FORGOT HIS NAME?! Oh this is bad. Don’t say anything just have to think a second. D’oh now I’ve been too long and it’ll be suspicious I’ve got to salvage this somehow.

“Hello, Mayor Swift. It is a pleasure to meet you again,” Luna stepped in. I almost forgot she was here. And to blame. Don’t think I don’t know you planned this Luna. I’m not the only one with an evil streak around here and I will have my vengeance if I have to pin you down and tickle it out of you.

Ugh, moving again. Did Luna invite the mayor on for me? At least one of us is still able to focus on the here and now. Wait… Why is that Lu- Wait where’d she go? Oh back to the bench with the mayor. Why are you gesturing for me to sit d- WHOA! Flying now! Why Cloudsdale has to have every complex separated by a break in the clouds I will never remember but… OH HI FLOOR. Gragh. I should stand up before someone thinks something is wrong. That’s right, just keep smiling. Can’t have something wrong with Princess Celestia or I’ll never hear the end of it.

Oh by the Celestial Precursors Luna wipe the smile off your face and help me up. Why are you waving me to stay d- AND WE LANDED AGAIN! Curse the ponies that decided on the route for this royal tour!

AND THANK YOU ROYAL GUARD FOR THE GENTLE LANDING THAT LEFT ME FLAT ON MY FACE AGAIN. I’LL SEE YOU ALL GET ‘COMMENDATIONS’ FOR THIS.

Ugh, I never should have let Luna talk me into it. I can handle this. Deep breathes, rise majestically to feet, single flap of the wings so I don’t fall down without help from a moving vehicle and nod to the subjects. Pretend to listen to the mayor. Vow revenge on sister and her wicked brew.

Okay that’s one part of Cloudsdale down 45 districts to go. I’m really starting to remember why I banned production for six centuries. It does not help that Luna’s real stuff makes that brew earth ponies make look like poison. Yes, Luna, I will admit you make the best alcohol in the universe, now would you kindly explain why you can stand there with the wits available to both converse with the mayor and still somehow manage to give me that subtle smug look? I can barely stand and you drank twice what I did!

Of course that’s why we called it Moonshine. Nothing to do with the ingredients, YOU CAN JUST DRINK IT LIKE WATER. GAH. Why did I forget that. I’ll get you for this Lu-

Hah! Tried to land again but I saw it coming this time I-!

Alright, forgot. Most cloud roads are made of bumpy bumpy clouds and are not good for chariots. Crap the Mayor is making a face. I should sit down before anyone else notices anything.

I am so drunk…

Author's Note

The prompt:

“I can see by your grin that you’re trembling within.
It’s all over town. Cheer down.
And the smile on your face is sometimes out of place.
Don’t mind no frown. Cheer down.”
(George Harrison, “Cheer Down”)

Nothing to see here. More Celestia and Luna.

Compilation for the prompt.

Accurately Delivering Fun From Three Kilometers Away

“Pinkie Pie!”

“Hey Twilight. I needed to talk to you.”

“I heard. What’s wrong? You’re going to make it on time won’t you?”

“I’m not sure I can do this. I know I said I could but once we got this thing put together I crunched the numbers again, and with the distances and the multiple in air detonations, I’m just not sure this can be done with civilian casualties.”

“But you’re the lynchpin of this operation! Your party-llery firing is the signal to start Celestia’s ‘Surprise I Finally Figured Out Your Real Birthday’ Party! Quick, show me your math!”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Write a story in a hundred words or less.

Out of order because of reasons.

Compilation will be in next chapter, because lazy.

Exactly 100 Words

Twilight checked off the second to last thing on her checklist and read the last item to herself, “Double check writing assignment checklist to make sure you have everything to write your assignment.”

“Desk? Check. Writing equipment (see writing equipment checklist)? Double checked. Writing assignment paper laid out ready to review before beginning? Check. Ideas necessary to finish the assignment? Check. Alright that should be everything.” Twilight scooted the stool in front of her desk in and sat down. Pulling up the assignment a last time to check before beginning.

“Write a short story.” Twilight blinked as she noticed a line she’d missed before. “In a hundred words or less.” She scrunched her nose up at the parchment and turned back to her desk. “Oh well. I’m sure I’ll have no trouble condensing this story idea down to a hundred little words. I’ll just have to be concise.”

Twilight picked up her quill and began writing.

—-

Six hours later Twilight screamed as her last quill broke. Scattered around the room were abandoned papers covered in words with a large number written in the top right corner.

“Note to self,” Twilight noted to herself, absently brushing her rapidly mussing mane, “All future creative assignment preparation checklists will require EXTRA extra parchment and EXTRA extra quills.”

She looked around at the cluttered papers and at her latest attempt. Then she looked at the clock and flinched. There was no way that she was going to have time to go out and get more quills and parchment and still get back in time to condense her short story. She sighed. Again. If she wanted to turn it in on time she’d just have to use one of the ones she’d already written.

“Oh, there’s gotta be some way… Maybe if I paste together the longer ones to make them shorter. Like a collage!” Twilight walked among the papers scattered all over checking the numbers at the top. “Oh, but then my assignment will look like a cheap ransom note from a foalnapper. Princess Celestia won’t like that.”

She circled the room again, before stopping suddenly as a thought struck her. “Unless…”

—-

“And for a week after that one hundred words was a much larger number. Sadly the spell was obvious because everypony KNEW how much a hundred is supposed to be but whenever they counted to it they always ended up with a much larger number than it was expected to be,” Twilight finished telling her friends at their get together at the Corner

“Wait,” Applejack interrupted, “I remember that. I was trying to handle the farm’s finances that week and that mess with the numbers mucked things up pretty good. You’re sayin’ that was your fault?”

“Um, yeah,” Twilight admitted, “Sorry.”

“It messed up all my measurements as well,” Rarity admitted from where she sat with the others sipping her drink, “I had to take in SO many dresses after it was over, I could have made other dresses out of the spare material. I would have lost some very important customers if they hadn’t had the same thing happen to them. Twilight, how could you be so reckless?”

“I read about it in the papers,” Fluttershy added, “I was lucky we’d done the ferret census a week earlier or we wouldn’t have been able to order the right amount of feed for the poor dears.”

“Wait, was this a few years ago in early Spring?” Rainbow Dash butted in as she seemed to put something together.

The other ponies nodded.

“No wonder my flight speeds were down so much that week. I nearly strained a wing trying to get back up to my usual!”

Twilight looked abashed and muttered a couple apologies before turning to look at Pinkie Pie, the other mirroring her expectant look.

Pinkie looked back at them with confusion, “What?”

“Don’t you have some story about how my spell nearly ruined your week?”

“No,” Pinkie shook her head, “I’m a baker, we’re used to our numbers being off. I mean a bakers dozen counts up to thirteen you guys. THIRTEEN. Do you have any idea how many would be pastry chefs have gone mad trying to learn our math system? I don’t. We lost the ability to count them in the great mathematical bake off of ’42.” Pinkie’s expression became serious. “That was a dark day for baking.”

The other five ponies stared at the somber pink mare for a moment before snapping back to each other.

“Anyway, it took a week to figure out how to counter the spell I cast and that was the fourth spell of mine the Princess had to add to the Tome of Forbidden magic.”

“Jees, how many spells do you have in there?” Rainbow asked.

“At last count… I think 37,” Twilight admitted, “Celestia was talking about adding the want it need it spell though so it might be up to 38 the next time it is safe to open the tome and write things in it.”

“Hey, Twi,” Applejack interrupted, having been trying to count something up in her head herself, “I never did figure it out, how much did you increase a hundred by with that spell anyway?”

“Oh, I could only get my story down to 900 words so I had to increase it by a factor of roughly 1.4771213. Still got full marks too. Ha.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Write a story in a hundred words or less.

Math. Blargh.

Compilation for Prompt 98 is here

Sitting

“Okay. Tell me again what happened?” Twilight asked Applejack as they passed the property line of Sweet Apple Acres.

“We think she ate something weird trying to get her cutie mark again. We figgered you or Zecora’d be best to ask. Mac went to fetch Zecora,” Applejack replied leading Twlight toward the barn.

“Again? Didn’t she learn from that Cutie Pox experience?” asked with shock.

“I think Sweetie and Scootaloo actually put her up to this one,” Applejack answered sheepishly.

“They didn’t eat whatever it was too did they?” Twilight continued her questioning as the two approached the barn where violent sounds became audible.

“I don’t think so but they ain’t sayin’ much. You can ask ‘em yourself their up here with Applebloom and RD.”

“Rainbow Dash? What’s she doing here?”

“Well, Applebloom was getting a mite out of hoof so I asked Rainbow to sit on her.”

“You mean ‘sit her?’” Twilight verified as they reached the door to the barn.

“Nope.” Applejack pushed the door to the barn open by way of explanation, revealing a massively overgrown Applebloom growling and scraping against the floor trying to free herself. To one side Sweetie and Scootaloo sat watching in shock. And finally perched on Applebloom’s back sat Rainbow Dash looking annoyed. Applebloom writhed underneath the smaller pegasus pony as though under a heavy weight and started to shift out from underneath her when Rainbow Dash suddenly tipped forward onto her front hooves, raising her hind end into the air before slamming it back down in the center of Applebloom’s back. Immediately the monstrous filly collapsed back to the floor of the barn and resumed her attempts to get up.

Twilight stared at this with confusion. “Couldn’t you have just tied her up?” she asked Applejack.

“Tried that. She kept getting bigger or breaking the ropes. RD is the only thing we’ve found that can keep her pinned.”

“How are you doing that anyway?” Twilight asked the put upon looking pegasus.

“It’s a trick Pinkie taught me that time we threw her that surprise birthday party. Only way to get away is to squeeze out but I can just do it again and pin her again,” Rainbow explained, readjusting her position with the explosive sitting action to demonstrate. “Now can we please fix her? I’ve got stuff to do tonight.”

“Oh! Um, right,” Twilight approached Applebloom and began examining her more closely, “Let’s see here…”

Forgotten to one side of the barn the remaining CMC members watched and tried to remain unnoticed.

“Wow,” Sweetie said, “I’m sure glad Applebloom went first. I’d hate to be stuck being sat on by somepony.”

Scootaloo stared for a while as Rainbow Dash again had to force Applebloom back to her belly before answering, “I dunno. Might be worth it.”

Sweetie tore her eyes away from the spectacle of a bear sized pony foal to stare at Scootaloo, “You’re kinda weird you know that?”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Rainbow Dash the foal sitter

This one was okay but could be better. Enjoyable though apparently.

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/36150558483/prompt-173-compilation-last-resort

Don't Think Poorly of Her, Those Are Hard Words

“Thank you again for doing this, Rainbow Dash. I know it was short notice,” Celestia said as she guided Rainbow Dash through the halls of the palace, “I know it can’t have been easy to rush out here, but I’ll make sure you’re properly compensated.”

“Don’t even worry about it Princess. I’m always happy to help,” Rainbow Dash answered happily. She followed the alicorn’s footsteps with energy. “Just lemme know what you need and I’ll take care of it.”

“I appreciate that,” Celestia smiled, “As I said in my letter, this should be fairly simple for you. She’s very well behaved despite her apparent age though she does have a bit of a silly streak. She is aware of her condition, but the nature of it does sometimes cause her to make mistakes that would otherwise embarrass her any other time. It’s very important I have photographic evidence of these for um… reasons. Your job will mostly come down to keeping her in the tower and from bothering anypony. We do try to keep her condition quiet so if you could just clean up after her and head off in any forseeable trouble she could get herself into I’d appreciate it.”

Celestia stopped outside a large set of double doors and cast a worrying glance between them and her pegasus follower.

“Normally it isn’t this bad but the sun moon and earth have aligned against her quite strongly,” Celestia explained.

Rainbow Dash nodded and looked at the doors for a long moment before turning back to Celestia to ask, “If you don’t mind, can you tell me why you can’t watch her? This seems pretty important to you.”

Celestia smiled and nodded, “I’m afraid that same alignment I mentioned has locked me into an engagement I find myself unable to turn down.”

“I’ll be honest, Princess, I’m kinda surprised you chose me for this. Are you sure there isn’t anypony else you would have preferred?”

“No,” Celestia said in a resigned voice, “Everypony else I could trust with this task was otherwise engaged this evening. You were the closest pony I could find who didn’t have anything of dire importance this evening?”

“Even Twilight?” Rainbow asked incredulously, unable to think of anything that would keep the unicorn from dropping EVERYTHING to come help.

“Hmm,” Celestia looked thoughtful for a moment, “Twilight has a very important test on alicorn physiology and anatomy this evening that I don’t want to drag her away from.”

A purple flash of light blasted from the opposite side of Celestia from where Rainbow stood and she heard the sound of hooves stepping in place on the stone floor of the palace.

“Princess! I just checked, the weather and the new moon make tonight ideal for the star viewing part of our date. Wait, did we want to call it a date I don’t remember maybe we-”

“Twilight?” Rainbow asked the voice.

The voice cut off and a moment Twilight’s head dipped low so she could see beneath the Princess, then with an embarrassed squeak her horn lit and she vanished as she had came. Rainbow and Celestia stared at the spot for a moment. Then another moment passed as they refused to meet each other’s eyes. Finally, Rainbow Dash let out an awkward cough.

“So, uh, a test huh…” Rainbow began with some discomfort.

Celestia cleared her throat and answered, “Yes, uh hum. A test. Oh look here we are. I’m sure she’s eagerly awaiting your arrival. Don’t mind if she’s a bit sour at first. Her malady can make her a bit sensitive about her image.” Celestia lowered her head and the doors before them swung open obligingly to allow entry to the two ponies.

“That reminds me. You never did say what her condition was or who sh- Princess Luna?” Rainbow changed subject midsentence at the sight of the Princess in question.

Lying on a small hill of pillows sat a small pudgy blue alicorn filly with a lighter grey blue mane was half burrowed into the nest cushions, and glaring at the two ponies entering. A black night’s relief imprinted on her flank betrayed her identity to Rainbow Dash and for a moment all Rainbow Dash could do was stare.

“P- Pr- Princess Luna is the filly you want me to foalsit?!” Rainbow exclaimed.

Celestia gave a shallow fake sounding laugh. “Hahaha, oh didn’t I mention? Oh well, now you know and I really should be seeing where Twilight got off to. Tata!” In flash of sunlight Celestia disappeared like her student had moments before, leaving Rainbow Dash and Luna behind.

“We will allow you to laugh at our position once and then we ask that you do not do it again,” the filly Luna commanded in a high childish voice.

Rainbow stared back in answer before laughing into her hoof. Luna glared at her as the hoof became insufficient and Rainbow Dash lost her ability to stand and started rolling back and forth on the floor, laughing, and clutching her stomach like it was going to burst.

“We are not that funny! We appreciate the situation is unusual but do not think this much merrymaking is necessary!” Luna finally shouted indignantly, stomping one little hoof on the pillow mound and blushing in the exact manner of a filly her age.

Rainbow Dash laughed harder.

After a couple minutes Rainbow managed to rain her laughter in and wiping a tear from her eye spoke, “I’m sorry Princess. It’s just pffft how did this happen?”

Luna turned her nose up indignantly. “It is a natural consequence of our tie to the moon. As it waxes and wanes so too does the nature of our magic and power,” Luna deigned to explain. “Tonight is a new moon and thus the most physical portions of our power at their ebb.”

“Wait,” Rainbow visibly stifled a chortle, “So you’re like this every new moon? That sucks”

“Nay,” Luna replied harshly, “Normally there are a normal of balancing factors that allow us to retain our more majestic form. However this evening the moon is at apogee and with the very nearing of the sun’s perigee along with-” Luna stopped at the sight of Rainbow’s eyes glazing over. “Nay, this is a special situation.”

“Okay,” Rainbow allowed, recovering her feet after her laughing fit, “So does Celestia turn into a foal too sometimes?”

Luna huffed derisively and glared out the window at some unseen entity, “Nay. Celestia’s sun affects only her energy level. One might notice that during the winter when the sun is at-… during the winter when days are short that Celestia reduces her workload and may spend days at a time sleeping in her room.”

“Wow. So she sleeps for days?”

“Yes, but we maintain that is more from laziness than any serious deprecation of power. She has always viewed the cold seasons as a time for her to take a holiday.”

“Huh,” Rainbow hummed and tried to process that. Then looking around she grabbed a sheet of paper. “Wanna do some origami to kill time?”

Luna looked down the mound of pillows and then smiled happily, prancing down like a child. “Okay”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Rainbow Dash the foalsitter.

I liked writing this one a lot. Fun brainstorming. I'd just like to thank my muse for this one, Luna. The real Luna not the pony one.

No comp post bwahaha

Back By Popular Demand

“Well? Are you scared?” Rainbow asked her friend as they walked through the open halls.

“Um… Maybe a little. But I’m also really excited. I really enjoyed the classes last time and I was really sad when the eight weeks were over,” Fluttershy replied, “Though I was really happy too! I mean all the students learned so much. I learned so much. It was great for everypony.”

“Yeah. I even enjoyed it and I hate class,” Rainbow agreed.

“I can count on you to help me with the coursework this time too, right?”

“Hay yeah. Like I’d let anyone else partner up with you. We’re gonna show everypony how to do it right!”

“It’ll be nice,” Fluttershy nodded, “Though I hope Twilight will be able to get something out of this too since she’s already been through the full thing. She said she wanted to take it again with Pinkie.”

“Huh. Applejack said her and Rarity were gonna go again to. They must really like this class,” Rainbow added, stopping at the assigned classroom.

“Do you think it’ll just be them in the class with us again?” Fluttershy asked, opening the door with a hoof.

Inside the classroom dozens of eyes turned to look at the pegasi as the door swung open. Fluttershy reflexively flinched away from the attention behind Rainbow Dash. Dash, to her credit, managed to keep her face mostly straight as she spoke, “No. No, I don’t think so.”

“Wow,” Fluttershy said, looking at the large crowd of ponies sitting in the room, “Twilight said there was an interest in the course but I didn’t think there’d be this many ponies. I hope everyone has somewhere to sit.”

“I think you’ve got most of the couples from Ponyville in here,” Rainbow replied, fluttering into the air to see over the throng, “Wait, why are Celestia and Luna here?”

“Oh my, I didn’t think the class would be that popular,” Fluttershy said, visibly forcing down her urge to bolt under the stares of the other ponies as she crossed the front of the class.

“Hey, after they way it straightened out the six of us I’m surprised all of Equestria isn’t crammed in here. Now go knock ‘em dead. I’ll be here if you need me,” Rainbow Dash gave Fluttershy a quick affectionate nuzzle and flew over to sit behind the desk at the front of the room.

Fluttershy took her place at front and center of the class. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath as she put herself in the mindset she’d need. Then opening them she smiled at the class.

“Hello everypony. I’m glad you could all make it and I’m happy so many of you were interested in my little class to let me come back and teach it again. Before we start I just want to tell everypony that this is a very freeform class. There’s no real syllabus and I’ll spend most of the time addressing the common situations ponies bring up in class. Participation is greatly appreciated but this is a large group so I may have to call on somepony else to make sure everpony gets a chance to add something. Thank you. Now, welcome back to Romance 101. I’m Professor Fluttershy and I’ll be with you for the next eight weeks. Let’s get started.”

Author's Note

Prompt: Ponies go back to school.

After rereading it, I'm not sure if this is actually entertaining or not...

Compilation post for stories of the same prompt here

Dying in the Bathroom

Rarity stared at the pony that tried to sneak into the boutique with shock an horror in her eyes. In her long career as a purveyor of fashion Rarity had seen a great number of ‘disasters’ that would make other ponies in her profession scream, blind themselves and commit themselves to an asylum as the world simply didn’t make sense anymore if a pony could think wearing THAT was attractive. It was no small point of pride to the unicorn that she could handle any foible of artistic expression that arose, barring one unfortunate bird’s nest a year or so prior. The pony that lay crouched near her front door put all those years of experience to the test as she approached Rarity.

From bottom to top the pony was a disaster. Her hooves were obscured by large winter work boots that were at least two season old, her body was covered in a heavy coat that appeared to have been used to paint several ponies houses, several different colors at some point in the past. The ponies face was obscured by a full face ski mask with a sizable bump underneath where the pony’s hair had been bunched up, and a surgical mask underneath concealing the ponies already mostly covered face. Add to this the enormous gaudy sunglasses and Rarity had to steel herself against fainting at the site of this miscreant in her store. It was several seconds before Rarity was able to comprehend that the pony was speaking to her at all.

“Rarity?” the pony asked for the fourth time.

Rarity blinked as she recognized the voice, then looked shrewdly at the pony, finally taking in the bright pink tail that was the only part of the pony visible. “Fluttershy?”

“Um, I’m sorry to bother you when you’re working. I mean, if you’re busy I can come back, but it’s just I kind of… um…” Fluttershy muttered, looking around the mostly empty boutique and slid the masks and sunglasses off, “I’m having a minor fashion emergency.”

The scream that ensued would have been audible in Canterlot had the pitch not been so high as to be outside the normal range of pony hearing. This didn’t help the Princesses however who. in the middle of their tea break, startled and spat tea all over. They were able to get cleaned up and figure out the source of the ear bending noise in short order before anypony noticed their misstep.

Back in Rarity’s boutique, the unicorn of note stared in incredibly high pitched horror at her friend. Fluttershy quietly stood waiting for the unicorns verdict. Bright green hair spilled limply around Fluttershy’s green tinged yellow face, as she stared forlornly at her friend.

“F- Fluttershy…” Rarity stuttered, pulling the obscuring clothes off Fluttershy to better view the damage, “What happened?”

“Oh, um… I tried to dye it,” the only half yellow pony pegasus replied anxiously.

“Oh, but this color… And your coat… Oh dear. Why Green? Green is a horrid color!”

“Ahem!” Rarity turned to find a green maned pony had just exited a dressing room with one of her dresses draped over one leg. Rarity vaguely recalled the customer from the terrible event that must never be spoken of again involving that horrid “Trixie” mare when Rarity had made similar comments.

Rarity considered the customer for a moment before speaking, “Do you hang around me all the time to catch me when I say that or do you just have spectacularly bad luck?” With a humph of outrage the naturally green maned pony marched past the fake green and true yellow pegasus and out of the boutique. Rarity blinked a moment before her mind caught up to what she’d said and she rubbed her temple with one hoof, “Oh dear, I appear to have been shocked out of my wits for a moment there. Fluttershy go sit down in my bathroom. I’m going to go fetch Lotus and Aloe. Don’t worry dear we’ll get back to your shining beautiful self in no time.”

Fifteen minutes later three ponies sat around a very nervous Fluttershy rubbing carefully measured amounts of dye remover into her main coat and onto her hooves where the green was nearly as vivid as it was in her mane.

“I just don’t understand,” Aloe said as she scrubbed gently at one of the thicker lines of dye running down from Fluttershy’s hairline, “Didn’t you read the instructions?”

“I’m more interested in why you would want to change you mane style, darling,” Rarity added, running a fine comb through Fluttershy’s mane to spread the dye remover evenly. “I mean maybe if something terrible happened like- Oh dear, you didn’t break up with Rainbow did you?”

“NO!” Fluttershy rebutted harshly before flinching and returning to her shame faced position, “I, uh, didn’t actually intend to dye my mane, I just grabbed the wrong bottle in the shower this morning.”

“You own an entire bottle of this color,” Lotus asked sniffing distastefully at the greenish locks, “Green isn’t your color at all. Next time come to me and Aloe we will help you.”

“Wait a moment…” Rarity stopped working as she looked up to think. “You don’t have a shower Fluttershy. I recall quite clearly. And didn’t you go home with Rainbow Dash last night?”

Fluttershy’s reply was lost in a torrent of panicked “um”s “oh my”s and so on, and then lost forever when the bathroom door flew open to admit a frantic Rainbow Dash.

“Rarity! Have you seen Fluttershy? I heard her scream in the shower this morning but she ran off before-“ Rainbow cut off as her brain finally identified the greenish yellow pegasus as the target of her search, and then paled as she came to a conclusion about it.

Rarity quickly came to the same conclusion. Her shrewd eye for color immediately locked on Rainbow Dash’s mane and she mentally compared the green to Fluttershy’s. Her mouth split into a wide grin and she pointed an accusatory hoof at the blue pegasus.

“It’s your dye!” she cried with excitement.

“No!” Rainbow denied.

“You’re not a natural rainbow!”

RD winced and then shouted back, “I am so! It’s just that rainbow mane’s fade really early in life! And I look stupid with eight colors of grey.” Rainbow rolled her eyes.

“I’ll admit it would be a little hard to pull off,” Rarity mused, her mind derailed by the fashion declaration.

“Fluttershy, are you alright?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I just need to get the dye washed out and I should be back to normal.”

“Good,” Rainbow nodded, then turned her attention back to where Rarity was back to giggling while staring at Rainbow’s mane. “And YOU better keep this to yourself or I’ll have to tell everyone about what you did after Pinkie’s last party!”

“You wouldn’t!”

“I would. I wonder how AJ’d feel about you two’s little adventure!”

The two ponies began to argue as the professional spa ponies worked in silence on Fluttershy’s mane. Finally, Aloe turned to Lotus, “While I like the gossip we get in this job I really wish everypony wouldn’t forget we’re here at the drop of the hat.”

“Just shutup and keep scrubbing,” Lotus replied, “I’m trying to think what we can get out of them for our silence later.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: One of the Mane Six is dying.

I probably thing this one is better than it actually is.

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/36706846755/prompt-180-compilation-we-met-an-angel

The Borne Identity

Applejack slid down the polished glass roof of the Stalliongrad municipal building, leaning side to side and twisting to avoid the open skylights embedded in it. Behind her a pair of burly earth stallions with crossbows clenched in their teeth slid down with significantly less grace. They narrowly avoided most of the hazards until a patch of frost on one of the massive glass panes caused the first burly grunt to swerve into the second. The collision tripped up them both, causing them to fall and shattering the glass panel they landed and sending them tumbling into the building.

Ahead of them AJ slid off the end of the roof and landed in a window cleaning rig that was strung down the roof and over the side of the building. Wish a swift kick she released a lever and the cleaning platform plummeted down toward the ground. Below a pair of an earth pony and unicorn stood in nice suits and watched as the platform fell. The earth pony and unicorn aimed fired a crossbow bolt and flash of telekinetic force at Applejack. Clutching desperately to the bottom of the carriage Applejack watched the twin projectiles pass through the space she’d been standing moments before, the magic reflecting off the mirrored glass just before the crossbow bolt struck and shattered it. As the carriage slammed to a halt at the end of its line Applejack leapt to meet the two ponies on the ground.

»>

“She’s good,” Rainbow Dash commented, watching on one of the numerous screens showing Applejack’s fight as the earth pony took apart her attackers with devastating and precise hook strikes and grapples.

“She’s made to be,” Twilight replied distractedly, her eyes jumping between monitors, “Pay attention we can’t afford to lose her in this crowd or we may not find her again.”

“Oh, I’m watching alright,” Rainbow answered.

»>

Applejack fled down the street. Behind her goons in dark suits flooded out of the building and broke into groups to look for her. She took the opportunity to duck behind a newspaper stand. Dark gloves, hat, boots, all were discarded and pushed under a bench next to the stand, her jacket she flipped inside out to expose the red inner coat instead of the black. Dropping a few bits she grabbed a newspaper sat down on the bench in front of the discarded clothes and opened the paper to read it casually. Moments later the goons ran past her, never noticing just another citizen of Stalliongrad abusing their natural cold resistance to walk around in the chill air with nothing but a coat on. Applejack’s sigh of relief came out in a puff of misty white breath.

»>

“They won’t find her,” Rainbow said blithely.

“Not once she’s got a chance to hide. She’s too well trained. We need to bring her out,” Twilight said looking at Rainbow. Unspoken words flew between them as they exchanged a glance, and Rainbow nodded and walked away from the bank of monitors the others sat watching.

»>

Applejack flipped mattresses and ripped open drawers, generally opening and upending anything she found in the small apartment as she passed through it, looking for anything to find out about the owner. She’d found the address in her wallet earlier and it was the only lead she had to find out what was going on. Finally she arrived in the bathroom and the tank of the toilet was full of paydirt. She found travel documents. The names on each different but the picture on them the same; an orange earth pony mare with blonde hair and a spattering of freckles across her face.

Picking up the documents for closer inspection she turned to return to the living room and ran headfirst into a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane.

“Alright Applejack, time’s up. Test’s over,” the unfamiliar mare said.

Applejack blinked and rubbed her head, “Who’re y- Wait… Rainbow? I’m… I’m Applejack!” Applejack stared at the pegasus with shock in her eyes.

“Pull it now,” Rainbow said to some unseen individual.

»>

Applejack winced as the cold light of a Stalliongrad winter was overridden in her eyes as the helmet was pulled off her head to reveal the warm light of the Ponyville library. The silver sheet of paper of the helmet momentarily held the last image she saw in Stalliongrad before going blank. Beside her Rainbow sat up as a similar helmet was removed from her head.

“Aww,” someone complained, “Already? I barely had time to get popcorn.”

“We can finish the rest of the movie the normal way in a bit, Pinkie. This was just a quick test to see if we’d ironed out all the bugs,” Twilight said to someone Applejack couldn’t see, “How’re you feeling Applejack?”

“Sore,” she replied, stretching, “It was weird. I really thought I was in it.”

“You were so COOL as Winter Borne, Applejack. The way you beat up those guys and ran around. We should totally watch the whole Borne Trilogy tonight. Oh, or maybe we should wait til Applejack was really cool. Like cooler than the actor who actually played Winter Borne.”

“Pinkie, why don’t you go get the other movies while we check out AJ alright?” Rainbow pled with the pink pony.

“Oh, good idea. I’ll be right back. With more popcorn. And SNACKS.” Pinkie disappeared in a cloud of what was probably powdered sugar she naturally produced and was gone.

“Well,” Twilight said watching this, “Except the part where we still have to send somepony in to get you out I’d say the Mind Movie Injection Mechanism is a success wouldn’t you, Applejack?”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Movie Night

I can not say how pleased I am with how this came out. The person who commented on it made a comment on every point of it that I was hoping a reader would think of when I wrote it. Now though I need to cleanse this excellent descriptive ability from my system as it eats up too much time when writing in the 30 minute frame.

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/36820853480/prompt-182-compilation-the-silver-screen

Double the Promptness

Rainbow took a deep breath and then glared at the pony staring back at her.

“Let me make one thing clear,” she said in a scolding tone, “I’m not sure I can approve of your relationship with Fluttershy. You’re not anything like the best pony I think could match up with her. And before you ask I don’t know what that pony would be like, but I’m still surprised she chose you. So listen up, you are sometimes rude, you say things that hurt ponies feelings without realizing it, you jump at stupid ideas, you play pranks constantly, and despite how much you really want to make everyone around you happy you can be pretty darn insensitive.”

Rainbow sighed before continuing and looking at the other pony, a shadow of regret and hurt in her eyes. “That’s gotta stop, right now. When I walk out of this room I want to do it knowing that you’re going to do it as a brand new pony. A pony who tries her very hardest to be the best pony she can be for FLUTTERSHY. She’s done enough to deserve that from you. From any of us. The fact you haven’t done it sooner is just another of those things that makes me boggle that she chose you.”

Her expression softened as she looked at the other pony, “I’m not saying you can’t have this. You’ve said before how this is probably the best thing that could happen to you. But I need you to understand that you can’t blow this. There’s no practice run for this you’ve got to get it right the first time because if you don’t you’ll lose the best and kindest pony anyone could ask for. On top of that, if you hurt her or make her cry, I will never forgive you. She means too much to me to not set these standards. So go out there and show everypony that you’re the best friend a pony can be and an even BETTER marefriend. Got it?”

The pony in front of Rainbow nodded, though a shade of doubt remained behind her eyes. “Alright, dismissed. I need to get back to the cabin before the others get back to the train. Make sure you apologize to Fluttershy for whatever you did that’s made her so uncomfortable that she couldn’t wait here on the train with you.”

Rainbow turned on the sink in front of her and wet her head. After a minute she sat up and sent another glare at her reflection in the mirror before backing out of the tiny train bathroom and making her way back to the cabin the girls had booked on the ride out.

She’d barely reseated herself and gotten the newest Daring Do book back open to her stopping point when Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy filed in.

“Did you find your keys?” Rainbow asked Applejack as she tossed her saddlebags up onto the rack above the cabin bench.

“Eeyup. Right at the bar where I left ‘em. Now we won’t have to hire a locksmith to open the plantin’ tools shed come spring. Thanks for lettin’ me make this little detour, gals.”

“It’s alright,” Fluttershy answered, sitting down next to Rainbow, “I needed to get off and get some medicine for my stomach anyway, I forgot my motion sickness medication at home.”

“Is that why you’ve been so weird since we left Ponyville?” Rainbow asked shocked, “I thought I’d done something to annoy you!”

“Oh no, I just didn’t want to be sick all over you if I threw up. I’m fine now though.”

“I’m sure we all appreciate that Fluttershy,” Rarity said, scooting close to Applejack when the farmer sat down, “I’m just glad we didn’t run into Braeburn. He rubs me the wrong way. Oh, no offense Applejack.”

“None taken, Rares. I’ll admit Braeburn’s got a few bindings loose on his saddle. There’s a reason everyone in the family recommended he move out here to Appleloosa. Say where’re Twi and Pinkie?” Applejack asked, looking around for, “We can’t get this vacation back on the road without them.”

“Pinkie said she wanted to try a new version of her sharing song on the locals and Twi ran off to make sure she didn’t ‘get lost’ on her way back,” Rainbow explained.

“A new song? I’m not sure they’d appreciate that very much,” Rarity said.

“Well, it was either the locals or us on the train.”

“And I will forever appreciate their sacrifice,” Rarity hastily amended, “But the train is leaving soon shouldn’t they be back by now?”

“They probably stopped by the food cart or something I’m sure it’s-“ Applejack cut herself off as familiar giggles became audible in the small hall outside the cabin. Moments later Pinkie and Twilight entered laughing.

“Oh girls,” Pinkie snickered, “You’re gonna think this is funny. When we tried to get back on the train we had to tell them that the pies we were bringing back were for snacking purposes and not weapons. Hah. Can you believe it.”

“Considerin’ last I heard Braeburn is in charge of the local customs station? Yes. Yes I can,” Applejack said, “Glad you girls made it back. Now no more side trips. Let’s get this triple date vacation back underway and get the hay out of-“

“Aaaaaappleloosa!”

The girls instinctively dove for the ground and hid there in silence for a moment until they were sure that the pony outside hadn’t been talking to them.

“Stay down ‘til we pull out of the station,” Applejack hissed, “Once we’re clear we can get back up without him seein’ us.”

“Oh, I say, I am NEVER coming back to this horrid little town again,” Rarity complained quietly.

The others chorused their agreements in muted tones as the train began to, finally, leave the station.

Author's Note

The Prompt: Return to Appleloosa

Bonus unofficial prompt: Rainbow Dash and/or Rarity interrogate Fluttershy’s new paramour, who is [your preferred pony to be paired with Fluttershy]. Extra points to those who ship Flarity and Flutterdash if they can make this prompt work for those ships.

I liked the Rainbow Dash bit. The rest felt tacked on and if I had the choice I wouldn't have used the normal prompt at all.

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/36890042568/prompt-183-compilation-go-west-young-stallion

Returned to Sender Unopened and Unread

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I’m going to start off this letter as I have with everyone we’ve sent you. We’re sorry. We were wrong to try and force you into a mold you didn’t want to go in, and we’re sorry we belittled the choices you made in your life. When your sister died your father and I made some very terrible mistakes, and we know our grief doesn’t excuse our behavior, but we’ve gotten better since then and we want the chance to prove it to you. If you read this letter, please, call us. Write us. Even come see us in person just let us know that you’re willing to talk. We just want the chance to apologize to you in person, even if you don’t talk to us again after that. Your brother should probably meet you at least once too.

You don’t know him but you have a younger brother now. He’s a few years old and has been a massive fan of you since he saw you at the Coliseum at the BYFC. He says the only reason you haven’t been accepted into the Wonderbolts already is because they’re afraid you’d make them look bad. He works incredibly hard on his flying so that he can be even a fraction as good as his idol. We’re supporting him in that, within reason.

I did mention we saw you at the BYFC a while back. Your father and I were very impressed by what we saw. You proved us wrong. And from what we’ve heard you’ve been doing greater things than saving fancy unicorns and doing Sonic Rainbooms.

Your friend, Fluttershy, tries to keep us up with all your little adventures. I have to admit when I heard about the dangerous things you were getting into and the kinds of missions the Princess was sending you on I nearly had a fit. Your father had to stop me from going down to your house and telling you to “stop doing so many dangerous things,” but you’re a grown mare and I’m in no position to tell you how to live your life or try to take control of it. And to be honest you’re doing so much more with it than we ever could have by forcing you to live the way we wanted.

There are so many things I always want to write to you but it seems like every time I get done with telling you how much we regret what we did and how proud of you we are I’ve run out of time. I try to keep these letters down to a page. We agreed that anymore than that and you’d probably just throw the whole thing out. Oh, and I wanted to ask you about your reading.

Oh, and Fluttershy said in one of her letters that you got in trouble for stealing a book? I wanted to hear the rest of that story but we can barely get the poor dear to tell us what little she does in her letters. Except the letter about your pet turtle, Tank. That one was very long. We’re glad you found a pet that suited you.

Anyway I’m out of space. Please, Rainbow Dash if your read this, even if you don’t talk to us, please know we’re sorry for trying to make you a replacement your sister. You know where to find us if you want to talk about it.

Love,

Prismatic Splash and Sky Palette

AKA Mom and Dad

Author's Note

The Prompt: Dear Daughter…

I wrote two for this prompt apparently. This one because I wasn't sure the other would be accepted and I had the idea. I got a lot of good response on this one so I'm really happy with how it turned out.

See last chapter for comp link

I Held Some Mail For You While You Were Gone

Dear Princess Luna,

I’m writing because Auntie Celestia said you had to go away somewhere really far away, and you said if you can’t see someone cuz they’re far away you can write them letters. Auntie Celestia said she’d deliver this one for me. She looked really sad when I asked her though. I think she was sad that I’m not writing her a letter, but she has Philomena to keep her company and writing is hard. Besides, she can come talk to me anytime.

Celestia says we’ve gotta move cuz something bad happened and now the castle is gonna get a big forest around it that she says is full of monsters. I don’t mind though. I’m tougher than any monster that can get in here to me. She says I should come with her to the new castle in Canterlot. But I’m gonna stay here and take care of your library like you asked me to. I’ll be fine. I can go outside the castle through the secret exit you gave me to catch food.

Oh! Yesterday I saw a manticore! He was very handsome, but he isn’t like me so I just talked to him. He isn’t smart like me either so I ended up killing him after he tried to follow me home. I asked him one of your questions to see if he was allowed but he just looked confused. Like I said he’s not smart. I didn’t eat him though, I’m not big enough yet.

I’ve been getting really big! I will draw a picture so you can see how big I’ve gotten. You won’t know cuz you haven’t been by since you left last time. I’m almost as big as you were now! And now you’re going away for a long time so when you get back I’ll probably be ginormous. Celestia said I’d be bigger than a house by the time you get back. That’s big! She seemed really sad about that too. Probly cuz Philomena isn’t gonna get bigger. Though I remember you told me that Philomena isn’t ever gonna get older like me. That’s probably fair. I wouldn’t wanna stay little forever.

I hope you are doing okay. I miss you lots since you left. And you looked really sad last time I you were here. Sometimes when I’m hunting at night I will see your moon. It has a pony face on it now and is as pretty as ever. I told Celestia I liked it and she was sad about that too. If she put a face on the sun it would hurt to look at. And I like sleeping during the day anyway cuz that way I don’t get bored in here.

Don’t worry! I’m taking good care of your library. My ponytalk is getting really good and I hardly growl at all now when I ask your questions. And if someone can’t answer enough of your questions I kill them on the spot unless they run away. Ponies are fun to chase and I get tired during the day so I let them get away a lot of the time.

Celestia knows all the answers to the questions though, so that’s boring. I’ve been trying to think of new tricky questions that Celestia can’t answer so she can play like all the other ponies. I caught her yesterday trying to take your books someplace but you weren’t here to lend them to her so I made her put them back. I’m not gonna let her in anymore if she keeps trying to break the rules, cuz I’m tired during the day and staying awake to watch her makes me sleepy.

Celestia just came in and said she’s leaving now. I haven’t heard anypony cuz they’ve all been leaving too. After Celestia leaves I’ll be the only one left. But don’t worry, I’ll stay here and guard like you asked me to. Then when you get back we can have fun again and we can think up lots of new questions and stuff.

I hope you come back as fast as you can. I get lonely sometimes.

Love <3

Thy pet, Sphinx

P.S. Celestia says I’m not a pet but you always called me pet so I think she’s wrong. She says I misunderstood but I don’t get how. You called me pet so I must be a pet.

Author's Note

The prompt: Dear Princess Luna…

I'll be honest, while I really enjoyed writing this one the response I got for it pissed me right the fuck off. It was a single gif showing the ending of the Futurama episode "Jurassic Bark." While I can see the similarities between them at no point did that episode come to mind while writing this and I really didn't appreciate my entire response to it being given in the form of an animatic that, to me personally, said, "I see what you did there." And gives no actual feedback on how the story made them feel except that they apparently compared it to a different situation.

For more from the prompt: http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37269563315/prompt-188-compilation-to-the-moon-pony-pen-pals

Did You Finish Your Letter To Granny Pie Ew Its All Wet

Dearest Madame Pie,

Several years ago you sent me to your granddaughter to teach her responsibility and see to her protection. Today, I’m glad to say, that I have finally completed the former part. Under the guidance of your chosen proctors and their chosen agent’s tests, Miss Pinkamena has demonstrated dedication and responsibility in the face of great challenges.

With the first phase of her training compete I will now begin teaching her the delicate art of balancing responsibilities. A task I believe she will be most suited for judging by her continued ability to maintain her position at the bakery while simultaneously holding frequent parties and get togethers with her friends and the people of the town. I will of course be ever vigilant in making sure her education is as comprehensible as possible, rest assured.

In other news, your granddaughter went on a trip some time ago with her friends to retrieve another of her friends who had gone missing. I am not privy to the full details of this adventure but I am to understand that the wandering friend had at some point broken a “Pinkie Promise.” I must again remind you, ma’am, of my strenuous belief that we should be tempering the young lady for the world and better brace her for those incidences in her life where she is going to experience betrayals of faith. Her vigorous and unhealthy response to these situations, which I have informed you of in previous letters, is unwholesome and your continued delay only furthers the potential for damage on the young lady’s psyche. Nevertheless, I will continue to abide your instruction and allow her to mature in this area at her own pace.

After the adventure to retrieve her friend Miss Pinkie and her companion the Lady Rarity returned somewhat later than her friends. I am to understand that the young Miss and her companion were the victims of ill circumstance and the thoughtlessness of one Miss Rainbow Dash, of whom I have written about previously, resulting in the necessity for them to return by slower transport. Miss Pinkie confided in me her anger at this, and, without any assistance from my person, did conceive a mean-spirited jest to spite her friend when Cider Season commenced a short time ago. I did try to dissuade her from this course, after my usual fashion, however I was thoroughly rebuffed and left to watch as she deprived her friend of cider. Apparently the incident either went unnoticed as Miss Rainbow Dash has not seen fit to bring reprisal upon Miss Pinkie, an action that is assured by the pegasus’ competitive spirit.

Miss Pinkie continues to befriend every creature with a mind to friendship in town. Notably she recently befriended a recalcitrant donkey, through means of reuniting him with his lost love, an acquaintance with whom Miss Pinkie was already friends. I continue to encourage this behavior.

Back on the subject of education Miss Pinkie and her friend , the Lady Rarity, who has spent more time with Pinkie since their joint late return, set out to assist their friend Lady Fluttershy with her continued passivity in the face of conflict. This followed, I’m told, a scuffle in the marketplace after the ever demure and kind Lady Fluttershy was repeatedly abused for her generous nature. I’m to understand that the attempts went poorly, both by what was confided in me and by the sight of the young Miss returning home at one point quite upset. I was unable to retrieve further details except to say that I chanced to see Miss Fluttershy engaged in the most outrageous and violent of behaviors on a recent visit just prior to Miss Pinkie’s distress. Recently however all things have returned to the norm in that relationship.

You are of course aware of the adventures involved in the mystery surrounding a baked good produced by the cakes for a competition of Canterlot where the cake was damaged while enroute by hungry parties.

You are also likely more aware, of the events surrounding the recent Royal Wedding, to which I was not a party as I remained behind to see to the young lady’s belongings, having failed to secure an invitation for myself. An oversight on the wedding planner’s part, I’m sure.

You may not be aware though, that I have recently gained an apprentice to the art for which I am most well known. Despite her young age I have already instilled in her the core principles of my discipline and she has taken to them like bees to Miss Twilight Sparkle. Her growth is quite extraordinary and would it not compromise my composure I would likely weep at the dedication she has thus far shown.

That is not to say that her mastery is perfect. That would be absurd, she is at best a novice in my art. I myself hesitate to call myself a master, skilled though I am. I intend in the future to reinforce in my young apprentice the importance of diversity in the work. As well as cleanliness. Perhaps as a result of her young age she has a tendency to leave quite a mess behind where she has finished working. It is quite unsightly but a beginner mistake. I am quite looking forward to furthering her growth.

It appears, Madame Pie, that my time is up. I will write you at the next appointed time, or sooner should some discouraging event take place. Please to give my best to my family. I hope to visit you and my family alongside Miss Pinkie as soon as our schedules allow and the idea can be planted in her head.

Your servant,

Dentus Absentia Rex,

Batman to Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie

a.k.a. “Gummy”

Author's Note

The prompt: Dear Granny Pie...

At some point a while back I started inflicting on myself the requirement that all prompts use a pet in some way. I don't recall how many actually ended up with that theme. Anyway I find secretly super-intelligent Gummy hilarious

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37344515559/prompt-189-compilation-the-source-of-laughter-pony

Letters from Prison

Dear Applejack and Apple ponies that smell like oranges,

I was very much enjoying our adventure to the city, but now I’m trapped in this place where you left me. I know you wouldn’t forget me and since it smells like the orange smelling Apples it must be someplace you have entrusted me to guard. I want to prove your faith was not misplaced but time drags on. So I will write you these notes in whatever materials I can find in the hopes of preserving my sanity.

Love, Winona

Dear Applejack and Apple ponies that smell like oranges,

It has been a really long time since you left me here and I begin to worry that perhaps you have forgotten me. Maybe this place smells like the orange Apples because this is where you leave family members who did something bad until they do better. I don’t know what I did to make you angry but I am very sorry. Please come back soon.

Love, Winona

Dear Apple family,

I am growing desperate. So much time has passed since you left, and I have nothing to do but to carve out these letters to you. I’m so sorry for whatever I did. This place is so small compared to the outside. I want to go outside. Please come back soon. We can go outside together!

Love, Winona

Dear family,

Soooo booored. Can’t think. Mind numbing. Time has become an plague unto my very psyche. The seconds tick by slowly like the slow bucks of an apple tree. Buck… Buck… Buck… I fear my sanity has left me. The world has become a cold and strange place to me hear in my prison. There is room to run but there is nowhere for my mind to roam. Only these walls. Please come back. I promise I will do better. Just don’t make me stay here any longer.

Love, Winona

Dear family,

I am running out of things to use to write these letters. When they run out I am quite sure I will die. So I will leave you with these last messages.

Orange Apples. We only met briefly but I cannot help but say that I felt the same kinship with you that I do with the rest of the family. You may spritz yourself with oil and soaps with the smells of oranges, but deep underneath I can smell the true spirit of Apples. I wish I had gotten to know you better. I love you all the same

Applebloom, you are joy and I love you. I forgive you for the Cutie Mark Pet Beauticians episode. I know you will become a great strong pony. You were the best little sister a dog could ask for.

Granny Smith, I’ll miss our long afternoons sitting on the porch watching Applejack and Big Mac bring in the harvest. You in your rocker, me in my bed. Only the outside, and the sound of birdsong to keep us company. Your kind words and stories and the memory of your old experienced hooves on my head have given me much peace during my confinement. I will miss you after I’m gone.

Big Macintosh, you’re the best stallion I have ever met. Dependable, loyal, and kind. With more good sense in your head than most ponies have put together. I will never forget the days of our youth spent playing and bringing up Applejack and Applebloom.

Applejack… I wish I could spare you the pain my departure will bring. You have been the best friend a dog has ever had or ever will ever have. I can’t count the number of times you have taken time out of your day to stop and spend it with me. Herding cows, chasing bunnies, or just rolling around in the hayloft getting as messy as we could desire. I will never forget all the times you held me and comforted me when I was sick or hurt. Or the times when I did the same for you. I love you Applejack. Please don’t forget me after I’m gone.

With all my love, Winona

“Winona we’re back! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE FURNITURE?! We were only gone an hour!”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Dear Aunt and Uncle Orange

Dogs <3

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37417221311/prompt-190-compilation-black-sheep-pony-pen-pals

Hostage Crisis

To the Elements of Harmony,

By now you have no doubt noticed that the fillies who identify themselves as “The Cutie Mark Crusaders” are missing. Rest at ease in the knowledge that the Poly-Ethnic Team of Species has them and is taking good care of them. However, should you ever want to see them again you will have to accept the following list of demands.

ooo

The door to Fluttershy’s basement opened with a crash as the CMC forced their way through. The trio of young ponies blinked at the sudden change in light between the basement and the upper floor. After several moments they sighed with relief. Unseen in the kitchen a sixsome of fuzzy and scaly pets looked up from the letter their avian friend was in the middle of writing to stare in horror towards the room the basement exited into.

“Fluttershy! Are you here?” Applebloom called out to the house, walking up the stairs to Fluttershy’s second floor.

“Ugh… I can’t believe we got caught and tied up in Fluttershy’s basement by Opalescence and the other pets,” Sweetie Belle groaned.

“Don’t remind me,” Scootaloo replied, stretching her limbs.

“At least they didn’t use knots or we’d probably still be down there,” Applebloom said as she returned from her excursion upstairs. In the kitchen, Angel Bunny turned an accusatory glare on his co-conspirators who shrugged helplessly, spreading their forelimbs to demonstrate the lack of any knot tying appendages among the group.

“Though if they were plannin’ to hide us somewhere why use Fluttershy’s? I mean she’d come and find us.”

“Actually, Fluttershy never goes in her basement,” Sweetie explained, “It’s so dark down there that she just trusts the animals to keep it clean and whenever she needs something brought up she sends a badger or something down to get it.”

“Where’d you hear that?” Scootaloo asked.

“I overheard her explaining it to Rarity.”

“Well, we should go tell our sisters what happened,” Applebloom said, “They’re probably wondering what happened to us.”

In the kitchen the pets listened as the CMC left by the front door, unaware that their captors had been listening. Exchanging several glances among each other, two at a time in Gummy’s case, the pets came to a simple conclusion. They all turned and nodded at the owl, who resumed writing their letter.

ooo

Our only demand is that you do not punish us. Because we love you and nopony really got hurt.

Sincerely,

The P.E.T.S.

P.S. It was Angel and Opalescence’s idea.

Author's Note

The prompt: Dear Elements of Harmony…

I remember now the animal theme was a thing I tacked on to the writing letters theme. Yeah. Some were harder than others.

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37487265237/prompt-191-compilation-a-cry-for-help-pony-pen

Help I Am Trapped in a Really Houselike Cave

To the Moderators of Thirty Minute Pony Stories,

You may have noticed that the submissions this week from the writer, “Hurricane’s Ghost,” have had a particular theme outside that which was prescribed by your theme week. This was not accidental. In an attempt to increase awareness of the lack of pony pet related prompts, we the P.E.T.S. , who were mentioned briefly in an earlier story this week, despite our express order that we not be mentioned by name, have kidnapped one of your regular writers and forced him to write stories that matched our chosen theme. Yes this sounds a lot like the same story as the CMC one, we don’t know what happened there.

(I didn’t have any other ideas. And writing what you know is easy.)

Shutup and keep writing what we say

(Fine…)

Ahem, as I was saying. After this week of pet related submissions we are sure you are beginning to see the greatness of pet stories. In order to continue this train of thought the stories will continue until prompts we find acceptable are commonplace.

(Wait, what? I don’t know if I can come up with a pet prompt everyday. What if they start taking it as a challenge?)

I’m sure your writing skills are up to the-… Are you writing everything we say?

(Uh… yeah. That’s what you told me to do.)

Then why are you writing what YOU say?

(Well if I don’t then it might confuse the reader.)

Or you could just write the parts that are supposed to go in a letter and stop being difficult.

(In my defense, I am writing this under duress.)

Alright, that’s it. Winona! Give it to him!

(Noo! Not the puppy dog eyes! Not the- Oh, whose a cute little poochie. You are! Yes, you are!)

Right, back to the let-

(Quiet Angel, doggy is making cute face. Whose a good dog? You are, yes you- OW MY EYE! Dang it Angel I need that for seeing things!)

[Uh, guys? Fluttershy just showed up outside looking for you. What do you want me to tell her?]

What? How did she know we were here, Harry?

[Um. She asked if I’d seen you, and I told her yes.]

WE’RE IN HIDING!

[Well, how was I supposed to know that?]

How about the part where we ASKED TO HIDE IN YOUR HOUSE!

[Cave.]

Cave. Ugh, Opal, go take care of talking to Fluttershy

{No, I think I’m comfy. Maybe I’ll take a nap.}

Will you- GARGH. Are you still writing!?

(Um… yes?)

By Fluttershy’s kindness you are stupider than Gummy!

(Uh… dude you really wanna say that? He’s standing right there…)

Does he look upset by me calling him that?

(…I dunno. He’s gnawing on his tail, is that an angry-)

HE DOESN’T CARE. He’s too STUPID to care that I’m degrading his intelligence! That’s another thing why do authors keep making him out to be brilliant, he can’t gather enough focus to blink both eyes at once!

[Uh guys? Fluttershy is still-]

I’M COMING TO DEAL WITH FLUTTERSHY! Winona come with me, the rest of you stay down here. I’ll be right back and we’ll start the letter over. And it will be perfect this time. Starting with Dear So and So and signed,

Sincerely,

The P.E.T.S.

(…Okay he’s gone. Mods, I’m going to try and escape now. Gummy seems to be trying to drag me someplace, I’m gonna follow him. If the constant pet stories continue, please send help.)

{I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to stop you.}

(I’m also sure you’re very comfy Opal and stopping me is more effort than it’s worth.)

{Eh. True enough. Don’t let the secret back exit hit you on the tail on your way out.}

(Alright, I’m outta he- Guh, why am I still writing. I’m sending this off to the mods now okay?)

{Knock yourself out}

(Right. See you guys later

Hurricane’s Ghost)

—-

Dear P.E.T.S,

We are fairly certain of a few things. One of which is that P.E.T.S does not actually stand for anything. Another being that you apparently are unaware of one mod who goes by the name “Commander Overlord Supergenius Professor Piggy” who takes great offense to the accusations of Gummy’s lack of intelligence. In fact, he has now taken a hostage of his own (Bookman, to be precise) and is threatening to do horrible horrible things to him (like say mean things about his beloved Azusa) if we do not ban any and all prompts about pets other than Gummy from this day onward. I’m sure you understand that the safety of one of our own must take precedence over the supposed safety of one of our duckies.

With apology,

The Mods of TMP

P.S- Thanks to your shenanigans we are forced to have nothing but Gummy prompts for the next three to six weeks. I hope you’re happy.

Author's Note

The Prompt: Dear TMP Mod(s)…

Yeah, I ran out of ideas about here and had to get creative. The bold bit is actually the response of the TMP mods to the letter.

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37584142883/prompt-192-compilation-letter-to-the-editor-pony

Not For the Dogs

“As we get older, all of us, our body starts to go through… changes. Not bad changes! Just, different stuff. Some of it’s even good. You get bigger, and stronger. And as it happens you might start to noticin’ others more in a new and different way than you did before. And sometimes these feelin’s can come on really strong at first,” Applejack held up a hoof to stop an incoming interruption and continued speaking, “Now, I know you may have heard some things from other ponies and places around but I think you need to hear this from me so you can understand how important it is.”

Winona heeded the raised hoof and lowered her butt back to the ground as Applejack continued on. She’d tried more than once now to leave, but Applejack seemed to think that she needed to share this information with her, even though she’d heard about most of this when she was a puppy. From a much more experienced speaker who didn’t blush while trying to describe how exactly she was going to have to interact with the sire of her pups.

This was the second most embarrassing thing Winona had ever seen her friend do. Right after the time she had tried to present to the stinky white pony. For some reason she’d tried to talk to the stinky white pony instead of just demonstrating her willingness in the traditional fashion. “TALKING!” Really, that was no way to conduct a courtship. If your chosen mate doesn’t understand what you want you demonstrate, you don’t spend two hours explaining how you think they’re pretty and trying to get them to go hunting with you for dinner. Or… whatever it was ponies did.

Winona sighed as Applejack, ever more visibly uncomfortable, had escalated to using gestures to try and explain the finicky bits of mating without saying any of the proper words. It was probably for the best anyway, Winona thought. If Applejack was this immature in her approach to mating then she really had no business trying to start a courtship to that end. Winona would of course have offered to help but she had personal reservations against the stinky pony that went beyond the stinky pony’s desire to cover her beautiful natural odor with chemicals. Really, what kind of person feels the need to hide their nature given scent unless they’re eluding predators or something? And even then one doesn’t hide it by covering oneself in stink, that’s just disgusting.

Stinky pony could be forgiven, Winona supposed, for her poor ability to act naturally. She was after all host to a terrible parasitic infection after all. Oh, how Winona loathed the white beast. Someday on one of the group hunts Applejack took her to with all of Applejack’s friends hunting companions they would finally down the horrid menace. That would be a good day.

Applejack had sidetracked into a talk about how to determine who was worth mating with. Winona shifted in her seat, agitated, and huffed her annoyance at Applejack’s presumption that she knew how to choose a mate. Granted, her own pool of mates was shallow, though still containing some obvious choice of the speedy flying pony with the yellow, gray,blue and purple mane, with her obvious physical fitness. And the other obvious choice of angelic yellow pony, who was angelic yellow pony and really need no further talking up.

Alas, Winona whined, love strikes where it will. And though her companion had made a poor choice Winona couldn’t fault her for it. She herself had once fallen for a burly little bulldog with the most atrocious behavior but excellent wit. And he was handsome besides. Some days she regretted not getting to know him better before one of those voodoo witch doctors that they called “vets” had gotten to him. He’d never been the same after that. Hopefully she’d meet some nice dog the next time she was in the mood. Being a working hound though the opportunity to pursue her own romantic endeavors never seemed to come up.

Winona glanced again at Applejack, having given up trying to follow her meandering speech, and laid down, putting her paws over her head to block out the noise. How sad, she thought, that I’m going to be four years old soon and I’ve never had a single puppy. It’s almost disgraceful. Winona flinched at that thought and pointed her mind at it angrily, her movement coinciding with Applejack admonishing her for not listening close enough to convince the pony that Winona was indeed still listening.

The idea that she was a worse dog for having never found time for puppies. Who had put that fool thought in her head? She was a working dog. And she was quite proud of the work she and Applejack did. If she hadn’t found time yet for puppies then oh well, her time was important. Maybe in the future she’d be able to take the time necessary, for now her companion and, if she was honest with herself, her pony pack needed her. And that was just as good as puppies.

She sat up and looked at Applejack who appeared to be winding down.

“And that’s, um… it,” Appljack scratched her head with a hoof, “Didja get all that?”

Winona blinked at her, embarrassment at her distraction rising in her.

“It’s just, I figure I’ve gotta explain this to Applebloom someday soon and I want your opinion on how you think I’ll do.”

Understanding crushed her embarrassment and Winona fell on her back and writhed with silent doggy laughter. It wasn’t polite, but she couldn’t help it.

“You’re a big help,” Applejack said with a flat glare at the frolicsome hound.

Winona just laughed harder than flipped back to her feet and invited Applejack to come play with her. Playing was the best way to learn all the important things in life, and once they started Winona was sure that Applejack would begin to understand.

Applejack let out a puff of laughter and scratched Winona’s ears. “Alright, y’great varmint. Let’s go. I guess I have time to worry about this later.”

Winona barked her agreement and leaped forward to tag Applejack before darting away. This was her work, and puppies could wait until she’d properly educated the young pony members of her pack.

Author's Note

The prompt: Sitting down to have The Talk.

The pet things continued for a little while after the theme week. Just because I could. I really liked how this one turned out mostly.

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37724655927/prompt-194-compilation-the-facts-of-life

Baking Contest

Rainbow looked at the table full of cakes and then checked her clipboard again and nodded to herself. Across from her on the other side of the long table sat the creators of the cakes in various places around the kitchen. The bake off had been intense and the five stations that had been prepared for the bakers were a veritable mess, except Rarity’s which was as clean as it had been to start with. Rainbow opened her mouth to start announcing winners but was interrupted by an orange white and yellow blur dashing into the room that resolved itself into the members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who carefully placed a bowl of something noxious onto the table and then back away smiling.

“There’s our entry,” Applebloom said.

“We barely got it done in time,” Sweetie added.

“I watched!” Scootaloo nodded.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow at the grey goo that sat in the ceramic bowl they’d brought. She reached a tentative hoof toward it then flinched when the ooze released a vicious hiss at her. She looked around for an excuse for a moment before settling her eyes on the foreboding bowl again.

“Um, how’m I supposed to eat this?”

Instantly a spoon appeared next to the bowl with a chirp of “there you go!” as one of the CMC moved from their position of rapt attention and back faster than Rainbow could follow. She winced and used a hoof to dip the spoon into the goo. Then she raised the handle of the spoon and found that the part that had been dipped had been eaten away. Her eye twitched slightly and she dropped the ruined utensil into the bowl where it dissolved.

“Right, I’m just going to give this the ‘Abomination unto Celestia” Award,” Rainbow said, pushing the bowl further away from herself, and flinching again when she would swear she saw it try to lap out of the bowl to grab her.

“Cool!” Scootaloo responded.

“What do we win?” Applebloom asked.

“Um… Free enrollment into Twilight’s class on ‘The Safe Disposal of Toxic and Magical Waste.’” Rainbow answered, still refusing to take her eyes off the bowl, lest it leap out and attack her.

“Again?” Sweetie whined, “I’ve already taken it SIX TIMES.”

“And yet she keeps trying to cook,” Rarity muttered to Applejack. Applejack covered her mouth and snickered quietly nodding with a glance at Applebloom.

“Right… Well I’m gonna give away the other awards. Let’s see, Best Decorated Cake goes to Rarity,” Rainbow waved a hoof at a cake that appeared to be a 1:100 scale model of the Carousel Boutique with a slice cut out of it revealing a spongy interior, “It was beautiful but the cake was only average, sorry Rares.”

Rarity sniffed but nodded respectfully.

“Um… Best Old Family Recipe goes to Applejack. Apple cake is weird but tasty.” Applejack buffed a hoof on her chest with a look of pride in her eyes.

“Cake That Wasn’t A Cake Award goes to Derpy for a disgustingly good muffin,” Rainbow nodded at the grey pegasus who beat her wings with pleasure and knocked over half the dishes that still remained on the counter at her station.

“Most Interesting New Creation goes to Pinkie Pie. I don’t know how you managed to make an eggless flourless cake but well done.”

Pinkie smiled. “We didn’t have enough prepped so I thought I’d challenge myself.”

“Most Skillfully Baked goes to Fluttershy,” Rainbow said. Immediately a chorus of objections rose.

“Wait a second how come the judge gets to win something?”

“I didn’t even know she was in the contest.”

“Oh no! I didn’t make her a station!”

“Exactly,” Rainbow cut in, “You guys didn’t even remember she was here and she managed to make a good cake without any of you noticing her borrowing ingredients from you or bringing in her own. She even had to share an oven with Applejack because you guys didn’t leave one for her. And despite those things she still made a great cake.”

The ponies grumbled and nodded their assent while Fluttershy blushed quietly in the corner.

“And the winner of best cake overall is…” The bakers all leaned forward with anticipation. “Gummy. For the cake that will haunt my dreams. Congratulations Gummy.”

The small alligator hissed its joy. Or possibly it just hissed.

“Wait, that’s who the fifth bakin’ station was fer?” Applejack asked.

“Duh, I didn’t want Gummy to feel left out of the competition,” Pinkie replied.

“You mean like Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked with an acid tone. Pinkie deflated for a moment until Fluttershy made her way over with a hug and an offer of forgiveness.

“It’s okay Pinkie. I think I forgot to tell you I was competing anyway.”

“Okay,” Pinkie sniffed, “When did you get so good at baking anyway?”

“Oh, I usually bake a couple things a day what with all the birthdays the little critters have,” Fluttershy explained.

“Wait, birthdays? And you bake cakes for them all?” Pinkie asked, shocked.

“Well not always cakes. I make a lot of things. Then we usually spend an hour celebrating everyone’s birthday for that day.”

“And you didn’t ask me to help?” Pinkie asked desperately.

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d want to have to throw a half dozen parties every day. I take care of a lot of animals so I can get pretty busy with that.”

Pinkie worked her jaw blankly then turned and clung to the nearest pony, who happened to be Applejack, and cried, “It’s like she doesn’t know me at all!”

“…Alright,” Rainbow continued right on past the pink pony’s borderline hysterics, “now for the prizes, Gummy gets the grand prize of a weeklong island getaway for two, grats to Gummy.” The alligator hissed again. “Everyone else gets to ask something of me. The Dash. Rarity you’re first.”

“I’ll take you up on a modeling session, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said primly. Rainbow winced but nodded her assent.

“Applejack?”

“I’ll take a date with you Dash.” Rainbow dash blinked and gave Applejack a look.

“Huh?”

“Oh! Oh! I want one too!” Pinked chimed in.

“Wha bu-huh?” Rainbow said intelligently.

“I’ll take a date with Fluttershy,” Derpy said happily.

“Okay, that one I know I can’t do,” Rainbow said pointing at Derpy.

“Oh,” Derpy looked downcast for a moment, “How about Applejack?”

Rainbow prepared to shoot that down to but was shouted down by Applejack, “I’ll give you your date but you have to get me a second date with Rainbow.”

“Sold!” Derpy exclaimed.

Rainbow rubbed her face and looked over at Fluttershy, “Did you want a date too, Shy?”

“Oh, um, no. Sorry.”

Rainbow sighed with relief and waved a hoof and Fluttershy, “No, no it’s fine. What did you want?”

“Um… a wedding?” Fluttershy asked hesitantly.

“What? I thought you didn’t want to trouble everyone.”

“Well, after the royal wedding maybe it might be nice to have more than just our names on some paper. So… maybe a little wedding? Just friends invited?”

Rainbow smiled. “Sure Fluttershy.”

“Wait a doggone minute,” Applejack stepped in, “You two make it sound like you’ve already been hitched.”

“Uh, yeah,” Rainbow nodded, “I thought Shy told you guys.” She looked at Fluttershy who shook her head no.

“I only told Rarity. You mean you didn’t know? I thought you knew…”

“Y’mean I just asked out a married mare?”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Fluttershy said, “She did offer anything and I’m sure nothing will be changed by one-“

“Two”

“Two dates, “ Fluttershy finished.

“Huh, all the same I should probably get somethin’ else. Can I get a date with Rarity?”

“Ugh, I can’t get you dates with each-“

“Give me your favors to Rainbow Dash and I’ll give you two dates,” Rarity cut in from where she’d been suppressing squeals of girlish glee after Fluttershy’s request.

“Uh, deal?”

“Wait, why do you need more favors?” Rainbow asked

“Why so I can force you to let me make your wedding dresses of course. And a spa day before the wedding so you two can look your best, of course.”

“But I would have- Ugh, fine. Pinkie you still wanna go out with me?”

Pinkie tapped a hoof against her lip and considered before shaking her head no. “I want a date with Rarity too.”

“And now you have to let me help with the rest of the planning of the wedding too,” Rarity nodded at Pinkie.

“Wait, doesn’t Shy get some say in this?” Rainbow asked desperately, as her time with Rarity in fashion mode continued to pile up.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I was going to ask for Rarity’s help anyway,” Fluttershy said.

“Hiss.”

“Gummy says he’ll trade a lock of Rainbow’s hair for his prize as a gift so you guys can have a honeymoon,” Pinkie translated.

“Y’know what, fine. You guys finished working this out. I’m going to finish Gummy’s cake. Just let me know what you all decide.”

“You’re acting like a proper groommare already,” Rarity nodded with satisfaction.

Author's Note

The prompt: Let’s find out, once and for all, who truly deserves the title of Best Baker in Ponyville.

There's a very specific kind of story that's either really hard or really easy for someone to write that I absolutely love. This is called crack-fic and the definition is subjective as all hell. The fact someone labelled this crackfic makes me feel all warm inside. That might be the chili dinner though...

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37917549370/prompt-197-compilation-the-bake-off

Ripping Off Prof Piggy

Daring Do scowled at the list in front of her the same way she’d scowled at it since nearly the day she’d gotten back. She preferred “gotten back” to “been returned” it worried her less. Written in pink crayon and stuck to the fridge was a long list with over a hundred things written on it. At the top in big magenta letters was “Daring Do Not Daring Do These!” The list was long but could be fairly summed up with, “Don’t do anything to stress yourself or might be fun and definitely no going and making wishes on doom artifacts that steal you away forever, no artifacts at all!”

Daring huffed in annoyance at the list and it flapped its apathy back at her. When she’d just been returned nothing on the list had really bothered her. She’d been tired. She didn’t know where she’d been or what she’d been doing but Daring had come back from it tired in a way that would require reimagining the definition of it for her to feel it adequately described the sheer level of mental and physical exhaustion she’d felt on waking back in Ponyville. It had taken her weeks to get up the energy just to climb down the stairs from Pinkie’s room, where the pink pony had INSISTED she’d stay until she was all better, and then some. Now though, some months later, Daring felt like taking on the world again, except her marefriend was diametrically opposed to any such action.

The worst part, though, was that she really couldn’t argue with Pinkie. She’d gotten the story of what happened after the wishing incident and how Pinkie had had to win a custody battle with THE spirit of, big C, Chaos, to get her back after her selfish selfless act. Daring didn’t remember much of the time between the two points, but she thought sometimes she dreamed about it. Those times were she’d come awake in the middle of the night with a cold emptiness crawling up from her heart up to behind her eyes. Where she felt panicked and needed to move, to do anything just to prove that she still could. The list had caused her issues there too. With a sympathetic but unbending Pinkie usually dragging her back to her bed and refusing to let her go anywhere.

She shook the memory from her mind and glared at the list again. Was this what was keeping her here? She had promised, normal promise only, that she’d listen to her and Pinkie had laid down the rules as they appeared on the list. But now that she was healthy she was feeling the chains as they held her down. She spent more and more time with the librarian researching old lost historical sites and treasures. Pinkie disapproved but what would she say to Daring? This work, WAS Daring Do. If she couldn’t do it then what was she supposed to be? Would she have to play Pinkie’s Daring Do Doll for the rest of her life.

There was another wince as she recalled saying almost exactly that to the pink pony in one of their increasingly common arguments. Worse she hadn’t been able to say that she didn’t mean it. She was stifling here. There was a whole world of discoveries and adventure out there and she wanted at them. She needed to be at them.

Daring turned her head as Pinkie’s pet alligator wandered into the kitchen. Was she doomed to stay here with Pinkie until some part of her died on the inside and she stopped caring again? She shuddered as the lost memory of her time missing once again touched on her mind at the thought. This wasn’t going to work.

“Hello?”

Daring whipped around to stare at Gummy again. Had he just talked?

“Hello? Is anyone there?” Gummy’s mouth opened and closed as though he was a puppet and an accented voice came from his throat.

“Gummy? You can talk?” Daring had heard Pinkie talk about how Gummy felt about things but she’d thought that Pinkie was just ponomorphizing the reptile. Maybe this was the first step into insanity that’d make her stop caring about the list.

“Oo said that?” the reptile asked, wandering toward her without taking his eyes off of her.

“Um… I’m Daring remember? Pinkie introduced us? For like an hour? You bit my hat and…. Other things?” Daring gave the gator a nudge as it got close and it rolled onto its back.

“Daring? You mean Daring Do? Oh praise Celestia!” the alligators mouth snapped open and shut causing it to pop and down in place on its back as it spoke. “Listen, Oim in a bit of a bind ‘ere and oi was wonderin’ hopin’ to get you to help me out.”

“Wait, you’re not Gummy are you?” Daring laid down on the floor and pried the alligators jaws open to see if maybe it had swallowed a tiny sentient creature. Gummy responded by latching onto her face.

“Oo’s Gummy?” the alligator’s jaw worked and let go of the ponies face as the voice came out again, “I’m Cornwall. I’m an amateur archaeologist and treasure ‘unter. Just found my first big find too. The Temple of Amarea!”

Daring’s eyes widened and her wings spread in surprise, she scooped up the alligator and put it on the kitchen counter. “You found it? That’s amazing it’s been lost forever?”

“Oy didn’t jest find it. Oim standin’ in it roight now!” the alligator said, sounding proud of himself.

“Wow. How’d you get past the curse?”

“Oh so there IS a curse! Oy thought that was the case. See here’s the sticky bit, I didn’t actually know about the curse ‘til I got here. Now up to me ‘ooves in it. Literally, me ‘ooves ‘ave turned to stone. I heard you were in retirement but I was hoping you could maybe come help a bloke out?”

“How are you calling through Gummy?”

“Oh! I’ve got the Amulet of uh… Kiki- Kikikik-“

Daring wiped her face with a hoof, “Right I remember the amulet you mean, and don’t bother trying to pronounce it, pony tongues don’t bend the right way to make the noises to say its name. So you’re using the amulet to call someone through a nearby reptile and you chose me?”

“That’s the long an’ the short of it, yeh. So whatcha say? Help a bloke out? Oil give you the amulet and any treasure in the place, oy just don’ wanna die ‘ere, y’follow me?”

Daring gave the gator a long considering look. Gummy gave Daring a long blank one. She glanced at the list and imagine the pony who’d written it and how she’d feel about this. A weight settled over her as she tried to come to a decision. Finally she turned back to the waiting reptile.

“I’ll be right there. Where’s the Temple?” she asked.

“Ehm, that’s a bit of a problem oy don’t know where it is s’much as ow’ to get ‘ere. How big’s the lizard your talkin’ to, can you carry ‘im?”

“Wait, I have to bring Gummy along?”

“Well, I’ve gotta give you directions somehow and the amulet won’t call any other reptile now that this one’s gotten hold of you.”

“Ugh, fine. I can carry him. Give me a few minutes to grab some stuff,” Daring told the gator before turning to go up to the room she shared with Pinkie. She stopped as she passed the fridge and the list fluttered in the wake of her passing. She gave it a long last look, then bit it off the fridge chewed it up and spit it into the trash. She turned to head back on upstairs.

“I’m sorry Pinkie.”

Author's Note

The Prompt: Daring Do’s Daring Don’ts!

This is actually a stealth continuation of a storyline I've been forcing Professor Piggy to continue working on. Links to follow, I still like this by the way.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31362/5/a-study-in-nonsense/a-lost-treasure
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31362/9/a-study-in-nonsense/parallels
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31362/30/a-study-in-nonsense/awakening
http://the-sheeple.tumblr.com/post/32445964953/special-piggy-prompt-1-rules-lawyering-by
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31362/72/a-study-in-nonsense/full-speed-ahead

You'll notice another bit by me in there from my modblog on tumblr. I forgot to post it in the stream of fics and Have no idea how to reorder chapters so it'll never show up here.

Compilation of that prompt: http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37998104454/prompt-198-compilation-what-not-to-dare

They Could Never Be Partners

“Good luck with your new work with DJ-PON3!” another pony encouraged Octavia as they passed.

Octavia winced and turned to correct them to find the pony had already turned a corner and gone. With an irritated huff she continued her trip home. So far that day no less than five ponies had congratulated Octavia on her new music collaboration with DJ-PON3. Vinyl Scratch’s agent had recently announced that Vinyl would be releasing new mixes featuring the help of a special guest. This and her getting along with Vinyl was enough for everyone in Ponyville to make the assumption that she had roped Octavia into helping with her DJ work.

Octavia sighed and pushed her way into her apartment. The sound of food sizzling and the smell of stirfry struck her nose. Wandering into the kitchen she found Vinyl vigorously shuffling carrot slices, peas, onions, tofu cubes, bell peppers, apple wafers and water chestnuts in a large wok. Octavia wandered over and Vinyl flicked an ear in her direction as she manipulated the wok with her magic to toss the contents into the air over and over again, after a moment she floated a bottle over and added a tiny bit more oil to the work and continued stirring up the ingredients.

“Bell peppers AND apples?” Octavia asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Couldn’t decide between them,” Vinyl explained, plucking a fork up from the counter, “They’re both good I’ll bet they’re great together.”

“Uh huh…” Octavia watched as Vinyl scooped out a forkful of the stir fry and blew on it, then leaped forward and snatch the bite off the fork before the unicorn could get it.

“Octy!” Vinyl protested to the triumphant looking earth pony, “I was testing that to see if it needed anything!”

“It’s fine,” Octy said, swallowing her stolen bite.

“Well, How’m I supposed to know that,” Vinyl said petulantly poising the fork for another stab into the wok.

Octavia stepped forward and pulled Vinyl into a deep kiss. They lingered that way for a moment before finally separating and Vinyl muttered, “Welcome home.” Then Vinyl licked her lips thoughtfully. “Needs more nutmeg and ginger.”

“No, it’s fine you’ll overpower the chestnuts,” Octavia countered.

“Hm.” Vinyl gave the stir fry a long look. “I guess I’ll take your word for it. I’ll dish this out, can you go feed Drop? I forgot to do it when I got home.”

Octavia nodded and doubled back into the living room where one wall was dominated by a 100 gallon fish tank. Next to it a goldfish bowl half full of goldfish sized crackers sat on a stand next to it. Octavia plucked one of these out and dropped it into the tank where the water caused it animate and begin to swim around the tank like a real goldfish. Octavia watched for a moment until the gold fish passed between two suspiciously placed rocks in the tank and a large bass darted out and sucked the goldfish cracker into its mouth. Satisfied, Octavia returned to the kitchen where Vinyl had laid out dishes on the small table they used as an alternative to the dining room when they didn’t have company.

“I still think that’s a silly name,” Octavia quipped, sitting at the table. “Bass and bass aren’t even pronounced the same way you know.”

“Yeah, but like I keep saying if it’s written then the joke totally works,” Vinyl countered.

“Remind me again when the last time you’ve introduced your pet fish in writing?”

“For his third birthday. Remember? Pinkie helped me make up the invitations.”

Octavia rubbed her face with a hoof. “Right. Oh, news of your collaboration appears to be getting around properly. And everypony is under the impression that I’m your new partner.”

Vinyl laughed. “Hey the offer for that is still on the table.”

Octavia waved the offer off. “Maybe after the music festival when Lyra and I are done with our own collaboration. What was the name of the pony you’re working with again?”

“Crossfade,” Vinyl said around a mouthful of food, before swallowing, “My agent picked this kid up someplace and figured we could increase both out audiences by doing this joint thingy for the festival.”

“Hm.” Octavia nodded. “It’s sound, though I do wish that your agent had been more forthright in the advertising so I wouldn’t have to correct every third pony I meet.”

“Sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

Octavia smiled. “I’ll look forward to it.”

Author's Note

The prompt: Vinyl Scratch takes on a partner, and Ponyville is never the same again.
Special rule: Vinyl’s partner is not Octavia.

I'll tell you a secret. I love Octavia/Vinyl. It is my OTP. Before and beyond ALL other OTPs I maintain I have, it is the pairing that if it meant the difference between going to hell or not I would not deny. I love those two ponies together. Yes, I'm aware the prmopt was OctaScratch bait. Also, none of that was secret. I love them loud and proud.

For more stories with not nearly enough Vintavia go here: http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/38479776942/prompt-204-compilation-play-that-funky-music-p0n-3

Goodnight My Treasure

Okay dear, lay down and I’ll tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was a princess, who was very beautiful but very shy. This princess wasn’t brave at all, and when some meanies saw that they picked on her, because they thought her being scared was funny. They weren’t good at all. After she was picked on a lot the princess became scared that everypony was going to be mean to her, so she hid in her castle, and only rarely came out.

Then one day her parents sent her to a school, to learn all the things a princess like her needed to know, and when she got there the mean ponies came back and started to pick on her again, because she was still very shy, and she wasn’t as good at some things as they were. Then, when she felt like she was going to be tortured forever a brave knight appeared, and tricked the mean ponies into chasing her instead of the princess. The princess was very impressed with the knight, because she was brave and strong and oh so very talented in all the ways the princess wasn’t. And while the mean ponies were distracted the princess discovered her own talent that made her special, thanks to the brave knight, and she started making lots of new friends.

After a while though she had to leave the school and go back to her castle, where she shut the gates tight, because there were still mean ponies out there, and even though she missed her new friends they lived very far from her castle. Then a wonderful thing happened, the brave knight appeared at the princess’s castle looking for her. The princess saw who it was and she let the knight in, and they became friends.

For a long time the knight would visit the castle, and take the princess out to do many things, because the princess knew that the knight would protect her, so she could be brave and go out. Until one day the knight said she was going to move to the faraway place, where the princess’s old friends from her time at the school were, and she asked the princess to come with her. The princess accepted and they moved far away, and the princess built a new castle and filled it with her little friends. And the knight moved to her own castle not too far so she could see the princess whenever she wanted. And they continued to go out and do things together outside the princess’s castle. Over the course of time the princess made new friends, pony friends who weren’t mean at all and also would teach the princess to be brave. But secretly the princess still liked the knight best.

Finally, the knight came to the princess and told her that she loved her. And the Princess admitted that she loved the knight too, and had for a very long time. So the two dated, though really their dates were mostly the same things they did anytime they were together, and then got married. And they move to a new place, where they could have all their friends visit easily with them, with no gates to keep anypony out, because the knight had taught the princess how to deal with mean ponies and how to not be afraid.

Then the princess and the knight’s friends got together to give them a wonderful gift, a magic that let the two make a special treasure of their very own, that, to the princess, was better than any other treasure like it. And the two ponies took good care of the new treasure and cared for it dearly.

One day the knight came to the princess and told her something they had been expecting for a long time. A great group of knights had asked the princess’ knight to join them, so she could go all over the world showing others how to be strong and brave. The princess was sad because this meant they wouldn’t get to spend as much time together, but she wanted the knight to be happy and to offer everyone to have the chance to learn to be brave like she had. So the knight left, but she still came back every chance she could to be with the princess and help take care of their treasure.

Then one day the princess was visited by a pair of the knights who worked with her knight and they told her there had been an accident, and her knight wasn’t going to be able to ever come back. When the princess heard this her heart broke, and suddenly felt like everyone was being mean to her again, because they’d taken away her knight, so she ran back to her old castle, and shut it up, and wouldn’t let anyone in at all.

When the princess’ pony friends came and she told them to go away. When the princess’ nonpony friends she told them to go away too. And so no one knew what to do. Finally they came back, and this time they brought the princess’ treasure with them, because the princess had been so upset she nearly forgot it.

And the princess went out and took her treasure back and apologized, and promised to be brave as the knight was so that she could just as good care of it. Because she loved the treasure dearly, even more so because it reminded her of her knight. And after that, even though sometimes the princess was scared or wanted to hide, she’d remember look at her treasure and remember her knight and to be brave.

And she lived happily ever after.

Now, go to sleep Wildflower, you can go out and play more tomorrow. Goodnight

Author's Note

The Prompt: Somepony tells a bedtime story.

I'm going to copy the guy who commented on this' comment because it makes me happy:
Piggy comments:

Oh. I was all set for a sweet, sappy ending and then you blindsided me with dead Rainbow Dash. I can only assume that you have done this deliberately because you hate me for reasons I cannot fathom. But in all seriousness, that was surprising and painful, which isn’t a bad thing - it changes the tone of the story completely, and turns it from ‘Shy talking about how great Dash is to ‘Shy remembering the things she’s lost, and trying to impart some of the wisdom she’s learned, and the love she feels for both Dash and Wildflower, to the daughter she almost lost. It’s a sad, painful thing. But it’s a lovely one. Well done.

This comment made me love what I'd written here. I wasn't that impressed with it but reading that comment made me realize all the things I'd done with the story and I started getting emotional responses myself from reading it. I really appreciate that. Thanks Piggy.

Compilation of stories I like less than this one but are alright if you like them: http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/41830886294/prompt-243-compilation-my-little-pony-tales

They Grow Up So Fast

“This isn’t fair.”

“Life rarely is, darlin’.”

“This isn’t what I expected at all. What happened to my plans?”

“Life is funny that way sometimes it’ll throw you a curve ball. Shoulda planned for something like this.”

“But why can’t he just fall for the old flank sway and eye flutter? Things would be so much better.”

“You would really prefer a stallion who only looks skin deep in a mare for this?”

“Well, no. But I can’t understand why things had to work out this way, I’m all for hard work and all but,” she sighed and ground out the last word, “farming…”

Applejack stopped loading the haybales into the cart and turned to stare at Rarity where she sat whining, no wait her voice wasn’t high enough that meant she was ‘complaining’.

“And what’s wrong with farming?” Applejack asked archly, causing Rarity to snap out of her fussy fugue to look at Applejack slightly shamefaced.

“Nothing. Farming is a very important job,” Rarity evaded. Her eyes slid across Applejack’s sweaty form and licked her lips. “And some ponies can look very good doing it.” Applejack coughed deliberately, and Rarity snapped back to her original subject like she hadn’t been about to diverge wildly. “But why can’t she impress this stallion with some of her other skills? It seems like just yesterday she was excited to be helping me with my dresses.”

Applejack dropped another bale on the cart and answered, “That was yesterday. She was down at the boutique with you for hours trying on dresses and carrying on and such. But a young mare will do a lot of things to catch a stallion or mare’s eye.”

“I just don’t want to think she’s doing something she’s going to regret.”

“Well.” Applejack closed the back of the cart as she finished loading the cart. “You can bring it up with her.” Applejack nodded toward the gate to Sweet Apple Acres where gold colored unicorn mare was approaching with haste.

“Mama, mom,” the mare skidded to a stop between Rarity and Applejack and spoke excitedly, “He asked to take me to dinner this evening. We’re going out tonight!” the mare’s voice seemed to bounce between the accents of the mares she stood between depending on which she was looking at at any given moment.

Rarity smiled and tried to cover a look of distress as she took in her daughter’s appearance. A day’s work had not agreed with the mare and she looked like she’d gotten into a wrestling match with a pony made of mud. Large patches of her coat were smeared brown and the dirt caked in her navy blue mane made it appear grungy and unappealing. “That’s very nice, dear,” she managed to get out between excited descriptions of what the date would entail.

“Oh I just can’t wait! I-“ The mare cut herself off as she raised her hooves to her face and seemed to notice the dirt there for the first time. “Celestia’s molted wing feathers I’m filthy!” she cried out.

“Language!” Applejack’s pleased smile fell as she spat out the admonishment before turning to confusion. “Wait, you mean you didn’t notice?”

“I’m never going to get clean in time for tonight,” the mare wailed running past Rarity into the house.

Rarity blinked at the sudden turn and then gave Applejack a gleeful smile. Applejack replied by rolling her eyes and watching as Rarity rushed to her feet and into the house with a dramatic cry of, “Don’t worry dear! Mommy’s coming!”

Applejack laughed quietly to herself for a moment and looked after the pair. “The more things change the more they stay the same.” She back toward the wagon then flinched suddenly at the familiar sound of the “rainy day” jar of bits smashing somewhere in the house, she started to call out a complaint but was beaten to the punch by Rarity’s declaration of a spa emergency.

“I never should of agreed to calling that an emergency the first time,” Applejack grumbled, “’Precedent’ my appled flank.” She looked at the loaded wagon and then smirked. “Bucks McGillicutty? Kicks McGee? Let’s go put the fear of Mama Applejack into that stallion.”

“You stay away from that boy!” Rarity yelled, poking her head out the front door of the house, “No threats until AFTER.”

“But,” Applejack protested for a moment before relenting, “Fine, but I’m going to spy on those two for their entire date!”

Rarity’s head popped out again and shushed her, “Of course we are darling. As if we were ever going to do anything else.”

Author's Note

The prompt: A lot changes when you’re a teenager.

A long time passed between prompts this time and this thing I cranked out doesn't do much for me. It's alright I guess.

http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/44641493673/prompt-278-compilation-growing-pains-theme-week

Non-Prompt: A Quiet Night

Rainbow Dash eased the door shut quietly as she snuck into the cottage. A few animals spotted her coming in and watched long enough to confirm the nighttime intruder was someone they new before returning to their nocturnal rituals. Rainbow slid off her yellow saddlebags with pink cloud fastener and hung them on the rack next to the door, alongside the blue bags with a rainbow winged butterfly buckle. She smiled at the sight of the bags.

She would unpack in the morning, or she would try to unpack but instead be herded to comfy spot on the couch repeatedly until she forgot about the bags completely and her housemate would sneakily unpack them. It was as underhanded as she would ever admit to being, even though Rainbow knew she was manipulated by her in a dozen other tiny ways everyday they spent together, and probably more that she wasn’t aware of. Any other pony she would likely object to the little ways she found to manage Rainbow, but this pony was special, her special somepony, and she knew that that pony would sooner smother a bunny than do something that wasn’t in Rainbow’s best interest.

And, Rainbow conceded, if it ever became really annoying she could just have them talk about it and they would come up with some way for both of them to be happy, even if it meant one of them would have to learn a lesson. Over the years Rainbow had come to appreciate those “fights” almost as much as the periods where they got along with no issue at all. They’d come so far by helping each other in ways Rainbow was sure she would never have managed on her own, and vice versa. Not that she would admit that to anypony, the two ponies involved both knew what they did for each other and rarely felt the need to point it out.

Rainbow shook herself out of her thoughts and slid out of her uniform, scratching herself in phases as she peeled it off. She’d never have thought, back when she started out, that the tight uniform pressing on her coat all day would be itchy when it came off. With a final negligent flick she kicked it to land next to the door where one of the critters on their way out dragged it outside for her. She nodded and started for the stares before halting and rushing back to her bags.

She rummaged for a moment inside before withdrawing with a wrapped box in her teeth alongside a plastic wrapped chocolate carrot. Anything she left in the bags would certainly be found by tomorrow evening. Anything she hid in the house would be found only a bit later than that. She flew silently over to where Angel was sleeping in his bed and placed both items next to him. The usual pay for the usual job, the present would be hidden until later that week when Rainbow needed it to give to Shy.

Nodding to herself she again silently flapped her way through the house to alight outside the room they shared. She nosed open the door and saw that Fluttershy was already tucked into bed, not moving except for the easy raising and lowering of her breath. Rainbow smiled and tip-hoofed into the room. She recognized Shy was still awake since Shy had an adorable whistling noise she made when she slept, but she let the illusion stay and as quietly as she’d flown, slipped into the bed. Shy’s habit of staying up to make sure Rainbow got home on the nights before her breaks was one of Shy’s nervous habits, and Dash knew she wouldn’t sleep until she was sure Dash was home and safe. She had tried to work out a way to get rid of all of Fluttershy’s crazy fears but eventually had come to the realization that it was easier to let the yellow mare have some of the harmless ones if it would let her rest her mind, and it opened up the opportunity for Dash to help her put down her worse crippling fears, like her self-doubt and social anxieties.

Those same fears had been what Fluttershy had used to settle Rainbow Dash in the early days of their relationship. She was ashamed to admit it, but Rainbow had suffered some pretty outlandish fears where Fluttershy was concerned as well, especially considering her worthiness to be with the yellow pony. It had taken both of them a long time and some conflict to get to the point where they could accept that the other pony wasn’t hurting herself by being with them.

Rainbow wrapped her hooves around Fluttershy and nosed her way into her mane, inhaling the deep flowery scent and feeling her body relax as she exhaled her mind’s final signal that it was rest time now and she was home where she belonged. She heard Fluttershy inhale deeply as well and had no doubt she could smell the sweat from her flight home. Rainbow had realized after the eighteenth time or so that Fluttershy demanded she bathe before bed after practicing that she probably should shower before bed after the nights she had to get home late. The one time she’d done so however Fluttershy had slept so fitfully that Dash had sworn never to do so again, and since Fluttershy had still never uttered a single complaint.

Rainbow closed her eyes and waited, and after a minute heard a gentle whistling fill the room. She smiled and moments later the whistling was drowned out by the rainbow pegasi’s, still loud but not as bad as they used to be, snores.

Author's Note

There was no prompt here. I just needed some happy ponies to remind me why I love ponies. Because ponies are happy and get to have happy endings. NO MATTER WHAT. Screw that grimdark, sad bullshit. Ponies get to be happy.

I'm not sure how happy I am with this. I'll need more time to come back and reread and hopefully get comments from a couple more people on it.

Hyperacusis

Something cracking in the woods near the border to the Everfree forest caused a pale yellow pegasus to flinch and walk a bit closer to the rainbow colored pony next to her. The other pegasus turned to give Fluttershy an odd look as she walked close enough for their sides to touch while walking.

“You okay Shy?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Fluttershy blushed and tried to stammer an answer but was unable to form the words. She didn’t mean to worry her friend, but she’d always been easily startled. A problem that was exacerbated by her ownership of a pair of the most sensitive ears of anypony she’d ever met.

Rainbow rolled her eyes and just kept walking, ignoring the moments of brief contact as something her friend needed to relax. It cost her nothing and there was a certain rush Rainbow got from the unpredictable warm brushes of the other pony’s wings or flank, that made Rainbow’s offer to walk her home from Pinkie’s “This one is going to run late because today was SUPER busy” Party a little less generous considering the inevitability of their situation.

Fluttershy always struck Rainbow Dash as a little odd the way she preferred peace and quiet, until she was on her own or out in secluded places. Then she became a nervous wreck that jumped at triggers nopony else could discern.

At Fluttershy’s cottage as the butter pegasus thanked Rainbow again for walking her home the thought struck RD again. Fluttershy didn’t like being out on the roads or paths leading out to her home but once she arrived she seemed to relax immensely. As the two ponies shared a parting hug, and Rainbow asked idly if Flutters was going to be okay, she wondered what it was about the place that made her calm down. Giving it up for the night Rainbow took after her moniker and dashed off into the night toward her own home.

Inside her cottage Fluttershy quickly finished the few chores around her home that needed done, checking on injured creatures to see that they were comfortable and making sure that they’d all eaten the dinner she’d left for them before she went to the party. She didn’t think particularly much of the difference between her home and the lonely paths leading out to it. The differences between the two was subtle enough that Fluttershy would have to think deeply before she could pick it out.

Nevertheless, it was that difference that allowed Fluttershy to snuggle down into her bed that night. She was a shy pony prone to flight at the first signs of danger like her distant ancestors, and around a lot of very loud ponies she’d complain that they were so noisy that she could almost hear their hearts bursting out of their chest, driving her to run and hide from whatever danger had excited them. Out in the secluded paths the only sounds she would pick up would be of things moving in the darkness and nopony else being around. Being utterly alone was terrifying to her. But here in her house where warm wooden walls and and rafters were full of tiny animals she could relax as their tiny feet skittered about their nightly tasks. The soft noises of dozens of little nocturnal animals that shared her home assure the gentle pegasus that she is not alone, and that everything. If she thought about it she would imagine that like the ponies hearts she imagined she heard in Ponyville, in her house where a hundred little animals hearts, each beating out their own little rhythm that turned the sounds of the night into an orchestral lullaby. And so Fluttershy slept like a foal everynight, under the unknowing music of the creatures she cared for during the day.

Author's Note

The Prompt: One hundred heartbeats.

I recall not being entirely happy with this one. What? Something about me stealthing in FlutterDash? Nonesense. There's nothing stealthy about the way I always use those two if possible.

More of this prompt from better than I.

Dry Clean Only

Sweetie charged into the Boutique only a minute or two ahead of a rising dustcloud stampeding toward Ponyville. Inside Rarity looked up from her work and saw the look of fear in her younger sister’s eyes.

“She’s coming then?” Rarity asked.

“Coming? She’s going to kill you Rarity. I can’t believe you would do that to Applejack!” Sweetie exclaimed, looking out the window at the approaching dust trail, “I can’t believe you convinced me to HELP! What have we done Rarity?”

“Only what needs must, Sweetie,” Rarity declared proudly, “We couldn’t allow Applejack to go on suffering like that. Thank you for helping me. I’ll be honest I’m surprised she didn’t catch on as soon as we started.”

“Did you at least hide the evidence?” Sweetie asked shriekly, looking around as if expecting to find a body.

“Of course not, I’ve just barely finished the job, it’s sitting in the back room waiting to be taken care of.”

The door to the Boutique suddenly flew off its hinges and across the room, the loud bang inciting the panicky filly in the room to dive for cover under a pile of fabrics while Rarity stared at the intruder.

“Rarity,” Applejack glared at the white unicorn, murder in her eyes, “Where’s. Mah. Hat.”

“It’s in the backroom drying, darling,” Rarity replied glibly, “I can’t believe you’re making such a big fuss. I mean how could you wear that dusty old thing your entire life and never once wash it?”

Applejack missed most of this as she dashed back to Rarity’s laundry room. Moments later a scream echoed out. Rarity, entering at a pace more befitting a lady who isn’t panicking over a silly old hat, entered to find Applejack holding her hat, that had shrunk down to half the size it had been.

Rarity stared. “But… But, it’s not the right material to shrink it’s a normal Stetson it should be washable without that much shrinking!” Rarity gasped picking up the hat and examining it.

“It’s a family heirloom Rarity,” Applejack explained flatly, “It’s enchanted to clean itself and we’re only supposed to wash it when the former owner dies and we pass it on to the next young’n.” Applejack looked at her hat forlornly and sighed. “I guess it’s Apple Bloom’s hat now.”

Author's Note

The prompt: It’s Apple Bloom’s hat now.

Hm... It's alright but NEEDS MORE SHIPPING.

More stories about hats, the only stories worth reading, here.

Who Keeps Leaving Garbage on My Welcome Mat

A note that appears to have been made from a discarded grocery/to-do list. The body of the message is written in poorly spelled words with varying lines of thickness and ink amount. The words are nearly illegible and the writer appeared to have weak knowledge of the language they were writing in.

Notes Reads:
Front side (Upper-lefthand corner): Bread, Milk, Eggs, Butter, Needles, Ribbon, Mare’s Weekly, Pincushion Spike, Stop at bank for Fluttershy, See PP at SCC

Front side (body): Der Opal I hOpe this letr (two e’s superimposed on each other one reversed) fIns (finds) u well. I hOpe (the e is reversed) u bo (do) not minb (mind) I dorrob (borrowed) pAper anb (and) ink from ur (your) gard trash.

Back side (body): I saw u th (the) othr (other) bA (day) with ur ponE (pony). U lookd (looked) haPy (happy) scre thating her. I are fIn (fine). I hOpe (the e is backwards) sombAy (someday) u can 4giv 4giv (written again with a backward g, forgive) me (backward e) 4 (for) givn (giving) u away Luv (love) ur mom

Author's Note

The Prompt: Dear Daughter…

I had so much fun writing this one, and it makes me kinda sad inside when I go back and read it again.

Link for more of this prompt: http://thirtyminuteponies.tumblr.com/post/37196543516/prompt-187-compilation-from-the-heart-pony-pen