Super-Duper-Spectacular Thanks to nygiants93 for being my sounding board and comic consultant for this story. He's awesome, and much funnier than me, so if you haven't already, go check him out. Plz.
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Spike joyfully strode through the streets of Ponyville, his tail slowly moving back and forth as he walked. Well, more like waddled. But either way, he was moving in a forward direction, and that’s what’s important.
There were a few things putting a spring in the young dragon’s step. First, he had just come from Rarity’s Carousel Boutique, where he had been helping her work. He and Rarity both knew that it was just a cover so he could spend more time with her, but she didn’t seem to mind the attention. Ever since the incident where Spike had grown greedy, literally, and thousands of bits’ worth of damage to the town, Rarity had become fully aware of Spike’s affections. Although Spike had never gotten to say what he had intended to as they fell, Rarity had received the message well enough. The dressmaking unicorn didn’t mind having Spike around to help her, and if anything, she thought it was flattering that he wanted to spend so much time with her.
Spike was also happy because of the events of the previous day. A smile came to his face as he recalled them. That day, he – with the help of Twilight and her friends – had saved all of Equestria from a wicked king bent on the enslavement of the crystal ponies. No small feat. And no small amount of stairs, either. The whole time, he’d been walking up stairs, walking down stairs, or trying to climb down a tall crystal thing with the crystal heart in claw, somehow managing to not fall off the edge. In the end, he did tumble off, but got saved by Princess Cadence, so it didn’t really matter. The crystal ponies had been liberated, and it was - for the most part - because of him.
He would have given himself a pat on the back, but his arms were too short for that. Still, he didn’t need to do that to be proud of himself. He was in the middle of his ego-tending train of thought when he collided with a certain Ponyville teacher.
“Oh, I’m so sorry Cheerilee! It always seems like I’m bumping into you.”
Cheerilee chuckled. She too had noticed that the young dragon ran into her an uncannily often, and it seemed that she always had groceries when it happened. “It’s alright, really,” she said. She started picking up her food, and Spike helped her. Before long, all of the items were back in the bag, and Cheerilee was on her way. But just as she started trotting off, she stopped and caught up with Spike.
“Wait, didn’t you bring down the heart crystal in that incident in the Crystal Empire?” Spike answered with a nod. Cheerilee smiled. “Well, I think I owe you a thank you.”
“It’s really no big deal,” said Spike. “I mean, all I did was--.”
“Spike, it is a big deal! You were really brave, and you should give yourself some credit for that.”
Spike took a second to think about that statement. Despite the fact that Spike was already happy about what he did, the fact that he had saved all of Equestria was still sinking in.
“You know what? You’re right! It is pretty awesome that I did that!” Spike said with a renewed confidence.
“It is,” said Cheerilee, chuckling at Spike’s boyish attitude. “I assume Pinkie’s going to be throwing some sort of party for the whole thing?”
“Yep. It’s tonight at Sugarcube Corner. Are you going?”
“Oh, maybe, but I’ve got some reports to grade and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to find the time.”
“Oh, well I’ll probably run into you soon anyway. Goodbye!”
“Have a nice day Spike!”
Now twice as happy about himself, Spike continued on the way to the library. He didn’t have to go back there, because Twilight had decided to take the day off from research, something she didn’t do often. Spike probably should have taken advantage of the opportunity, but he found himself going back anyway, mostly because he wanted to hang out with Twilight.
A few minutes and egotistical daydreams later, Spike found himself in front of the library. Just as he was about to walk in, a crowd of ponies blocked his way. There was a flashing of lights that temporarily blinded the poor dragon. Spike put his hands up to cover his eyes, but by the time he did, the flashes were gone. Rather, the world decided to overload yet another one of his senses.
“Spike, how does it feel knowing you saved all of Equestria?”
“We’ve heard of the effects of the Crystal Heart, but nothing specific. Can you tell us exactly what happened?”
“Is there anything you would like to say to the public?
“How were you able to deliver the Crystal Heart even after a unicorn as powerful as Twilight Sparkle failed?”
The voices continued for second after agonizing second, barraging Spike’s eardrums with more sound than they were meant to handle. Putting his claws over his ears did little to shut out the noise. Frantically, he looked left and right for a way to escape, but all he saw were the legs of at least a dozen ponies that surrounded him. Just as he was about to give up, he felt an oddly familiar tingling sensation spread throughout his body. Spike couldn’t quite put a claw on where he had felt it, but before he had enough time to figure it out, he heard a loud zapping noise, and the world around him disappeared. A mist-like aura clouded his vision, and he felt as if his body was floating in nothingness. A second later, he heard another zap, and the ‘fog’ cleared from his eyes.
“Oh right, teleportation. That’s what that was.” Spike rubbed his eyes to clear some his vision, but when he opened them again, he found that the world was rocking back and forth like a pendulum. Spike was puzzled by this. Normally, Equestria did not move. He tried to take a step forward, but he found that the ground was moving as well. Frantically, the young dragon looked around the library, which only seemed to shake more when he turned his head. To his right, he saw a purple unicorn walking up to him. He could not figure out who they were through the blurriness caused by the quaking. Oddly, the pony did not seem to be affected by it, walking normally. When she got to Spike, the unidentified mare put a hoof on his head, and suddenly, the world stopped moving.
“Whoa, how did you do that?” he asked, turning towards the mare. Now that his vision was not blurred, he could see her clearly. “Twilight? That was you?”
“Of course it was. And how did I do what exactly?”
“Make the world stop shaking like that.”
Twilight chuckled. “Spike, the world wasn’t shaking. You were.”
Spike thought about it for a second before it dawned on him. The teleportation spell had made him dizzy. Again. A figurative light bulb appeared over his head at the realization, but it only had a short moment to itself before Pinkie Pie snatched it out of the air. Spike, who had not seen the pink party pony when he was zapped in, was surprised.
“Hey Pinkie!”
“Hiya Spike! How’s your day been?”
“Pretty good, except for what just happened,” Spike said before turning to his surrogate parent with a look of confusion. “What happened exactly?”
Twilight sighed, more than a hint of annoyance in her face as she turned to look at the library entrance, which was now boarded up with some two-by-fours. “I should have figured you wouldn’t know. You probably got overwhelmed, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, just a little, but who were they?”
“The paparazzi.”
As often happened with Twilight, Spike had no idea what she was saying. “The papa-what-now?”
Pinkie, who was busy screwing the light bulb into a lamp, gave the answer. “Newsponies, Spike.”
Twilight turned to Pinkie, nodding in appreciation. “Exactly. They’re the most ruthless and stubborn ponies you’ll ever meet. And for the record, that comment about my failure was completely unwarranted.”
Spikie, although he heard what she said, was distracted by what a certain physics-defying, fourth-wall-breaking pony in the room was doing.
“Pinkie, where did you get that light bulb?”
“From you, Spike!”
Spike frowned. “Pinkie, I never gave you a light bulb.”
“Don’t be silly Spike; of course you did!”
Twilight looked on as the two had a five minute argument about where the light bulb had come from. Rather than ending the argument herself, she opted with the much easier solution of waiting for Spike to give up, which was of course the result. Even after he refrained, there was still a hint of annoyance in his expression.
“So what did they want from me, exactly?” he asked.
“Spike, you saved all of Equestria a few days ago. What do you think they want from you?”
“Oh yeah,” he said. “So when will they leave me alone?”
“Hold that thought.” Twilight had already started walking over to the bathroom, which she proceeded to enter. A few moments later, the mare came back with some sort of herb in tow.
“Take this; it’ll make you feel less dizzy.” She opened the bottle and sprinkled some into a glass of water she had filled from the tap. Spike quickly drank the concoction, grimaced, then swallowed.
“If Zecora can make herbs that cure almost everything, then why can’t she get rid of the taste? Blech!”
Twilight chuckled at the joke, but quickly settled down. “As for your question Spike, do you remember what happened after we defeated Discord?”
Spike nodded, “I had to go to the hospital to get stomach surgery, but none of the doctors had enough experience with dragons, so we had to go all the way to Zecora’s homeland to get it done. And after that, I still had to go back to Canterlot hospital for a week.”
Twilight chuckled nervously. She had forgotten about that. “Yes, well, I guess you weren’t around for it. What about after we defeated Nightmare Moon?”
“I had insomnia for two days because my sleeping patterns got messed up from the all-nighter. I slept for a whole day after that.”
“Okay, I remembered that, but did you notice anything weird after that? Anypony you didn’t recognize?”
Spike put his claw to his chin, pondering the past. “Well, now that you mention it, there were a lot of ponies following you around. Why was that?”
“Same reason there are ponies at the front door now, Spike, and I’m not the only one. Rainbow Dash probably has the most experience with the media because of her flying. Rarity has some press from her shop as well. The rest of us have saved Equestria four times now, and after each time, the media was all over us. We all react differently. Rainbow and Rarity always eat up the attention, Pinkie Pie here invites them all to a party, Fluttershy is usually too scared to come out of her house for a week or so, and I try to keep my cool until I can’t stand it anymore and lock myself in the Library. Of course, I always lock myself in the library, so you probably didn’t notice a difference.”
“You can say that again,” said the often overworked assistant.
“Twilight, you should really go out a lot more,” said the hyperactive pink pony, who had managed to stay quiet much longer than usual. “You miss so many of my parties. Oh, that reminds me: Spike, did I tell you I’m throwing you a party?!”
“Yeah, you told me yesterday. But the party’s at Sugarcube Corner, right? Why are you here?”
“I came here to see if Twilight needed help cleaning the place up after she went all crazy, uprooted the library, and almost put you in the hospital again.” Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes around to indicate ‘craziness’ before continuing. “But she says she’s got it handled.”
Spike groaned. Fortunately for him, the impact to his head had only caused a minor concussion, which was a miracle considering how large the Magical Compendium Volumes 1 – 36 was, and how fast it had been flying when it hit him in the head. This, of course, was the reason why the teleportation had made him more dizzy than usual.
But the slight dizziness was not the only thing occupying the noggin of the young dragon. “Pinkie, did you invite the newsponies to the party?”
“Well of course I did, silly. Once they heard you would be there, they knocked down my door asking to be invited. How could I refuse?”
Spike’s eyes were wide open, the expression frozen on his face in a way not unlike Discord in his stone prison. When he finally did move, a loud noise came from within the library that could be easily heard by the newsponies outside, not to mention half of the town.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
From the outside, the Library looked almost normal, as if it hadn’t been ripped out of the ground, hurled into the air, then crashed down thanks to a magical outburst a few short days before. It had even fallen down in the correct place, and by some miracle at a level angle to the ground. Despite all this, however, Twilight could not help but notice that some familiar things were missing. Her telescope had been broken into smithereens, and the old bee’s nest had fallen down as well. The nest had grown so large over the years that it contained hundreds of bees, which had wreaked havoc with the construction ponies trying to fix up the library. Fluttershy had generously dealt with the stinging insects for Twilight, as she preferred beekeeping to extermination. Finding the queen bee had taken her all day, and even with a protective force field around her, a few of them still found ways to sting her, as if they were impervious to magic. Despite her vast encyclopedic knowledge of just about everything, the unicorn didn’t know how her timid friend was going to go about her task. But those casual thoughts were far from her mind, as there were more important things to worry about.
.… Like the Library. While there was little damage done externally, the inside of the hollowed-out tree was a different story entirely. The basement had been pulverized, and most of the scientific equipment had been damaged. The destruction done to the foundation of the library also left it unstable. She had been told that the slightest earthquake could reduce the entire structure to splinters, and considering what the library had been through over time, Twilight didn’t doubt it. Between parasprites, rampaging assistants, lassoed trees, and giant boulders named Tom, the damage had indeed stacked up since her arrival in Ponyville.
On the ground floor, the floorboards had been uprooted, and Twilight had been forced to replace them with plywood sheets. In her earlier visit, Pinkie Pie had been gracious enough to not mention the disarray. She just acted like everything was peachy, even if she did have to step over fallen books to make her way around.
Yet to Twilight, the worst part wasn’t even the damage itself. Her insurance agent had come only an hour ago, informing her that her plan didn’t cover self-inflicted magical damage, which meant that the studious mare would be forced to borrow bits from Princess Celestia.
Again.
Twilight always felt guilty about borrowing money from the Princess, but knew it was inevitable. Even if she didn’t ask for it, Celestia would still send it to her, and probably a larger amount than necessary. At least if she asked for it, she could tell her the correct amount to send.
With all this weighing heavily on her mind, the straight-maned mare walked through the newly-bought front door into the library. The makeshift floor was covered in a fine layer of dust from the construction. Stacks of books - most of which had escaped serious damage – were waiting to be sorted. The windows were broken, and all of the furniture had been ruined. It was easily the biggest mess the library had been in. Each step kicked up dust, making the violet unicorn cough as she walked over to where her writing supplies were kept, intending to write the letter to Princess Celestia. She was greeted with an empty space where her desk used to be.
“I forgot, my desk got crushed by the statue. Silly me!” She said. But despite the jubilant tone of her voice, she wasn’t happy. Her face twitched a little, and in that instant, she bore a striking resemblance to the Cheshire Cat. A vein throbbed on her forehead as her blood pressure rose, and she felt like she was going to snap. However, she was able to keep her anger contained through some deep, cleansing breaths. Twilight smiled smugly, rather proud of herself for not exploding into her typical, stress-induced rage.
“I guess all that stress therapy really did work after all!” She said with a laugh. “But still, when am I going to get the quills? I’m supposed to buy furniture today.”
Although she had prevented herself from going berserk, the fact that she was talking to herself clearly showed that she was still worried. At the moment, she seemed to have forgotten that it was weird to talk to yourself out loud. Twilight started pacing, as she always did when she had schedule conflicts.
“If I do both today, I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find a floor replacement. But if I push that back, I’ll have to wait another day to go to Canterlot to replace my telescope. I wish there was some way I could get quills and sofas in the same place!”
On cue, the door suddenly opened, followed by someone diving head-first into the house. Twilight saw cameras flashing accompanied by the sound of clicks and the voices of at least two dozen ponies before the door slammed shut, muffling the chaos outside. When Twilight turned around, she saw a familiar purple dragon standing with his his back against the door, breathing heavily. Before long, the voices faded away. Finally feeling secure, he let out a sigh and dusted himself off.
“Spike! Where have you been all day?”
“Where do you think?” he said, more than a hint of annoyance in his voice.
“Oh, those newsponies still bothering you?”
“Bothering me? It’s a lot more than bothering me.” Spike said before angrily stomping off into the kitchen. The wires had been hooked up by the construction team the day before, so the freezer was working, at least for now. Spike grabbed a tub of ice cream and a spoon before coming back out into the main room.
He then pointed to the tub. “I can eat this, right? I promise I won’t eat the whole thing.”
Twilight wanted to object, but considering how rough Spike’s day had been, she decided to cut him some slack. If anything, the treat would calm him down some.
“Sure, but don’t kick up too much dust; It’ll get in the ice cream.”
“Got it,” he said, his speech still muffled from the first bite. He walked over to Twilight, tiptoeing delicately to keep the dust from spreading out. Once he got there, he ate another spoonful of ice cream.
“You know what would be really cool, Twilight?”
“What?”
“If they made gemstone sprinkles. I mean this vanilla, it’s great and all, but it’s still pretty plain. But put some sapphires on it, and it would taste awesome!”
Twilight wasn’t convinced. “Spike, there wouldn’t be any sort of market for it. You’d be the only one in town to buy it.”
Spike face-hoofed, or more accurately, face-clawed. “Ugh, Twilight. Why do you have to ruin everything!”
“What did I do?” the librarian asked incredulously.
“Never mind,” said the dragon, swallowing yet another spoonful. Twilight knew that he would probably go through the whole thing without thinking, but she didn’t really have the heart to tell him not to, or to argue with him, at the moment. The paparazzi was clearly bothering him more than she had originally thought. Most ponies would try to talk about this sort of thing with friends or family, but Twilight, as socially naive as she could often be, knew Spike well enough to realize that discussing it would probably make him more upset. The firebreather was not one to let other ponies help him right away, so the astute pony decided to leave him be, and better yet, distract him with something else.
“Spike, I need some help with a dilemma.”
Spike perked up. “Really, what is it Twilight?”
“Well, I was planning to go buy some furniture today, but something else came up, and now I don’t know which is more important.”
“You were going to get furniture?’ Spike said, putting his claw to his chin in thought. “That’s weird, I don’t remember writing that on your schedule. Actually, I haven’t written a schedule in days.”
“That’s just the problem, Spike. We don’t have any quills either.”
“Then go buy some.” Spike suggested with a shrug.
“That’s just it, Spike. If I get them today I’ll have to push all sorts of things back, and it’s already hard enough to plan without a schedule written out.”
Spike scratched his head with a claw. “So you’re saying you need both furniture and writing stuff, right?”
“That’s exactly what I need, Spike.”
“So, like, Quills and Sofas?”
“Yep. How could I get them in the same day, Spike?” Twilight asked, looking up at the clock that hung above the fridge. “I’ve only got two hours before Pinkie’s party!”
The young dragon grimaced. “Oh yeah, that. Twilight, do I have to go?”
“Of course you do. You’re the guest of honor.”
“I know, but Pinkie said she’s inviting all those ponies that are stalking me, and I can’t get away from them in Sugarcube Corner. There’s nowhere to run!”
“Spike, have you ever considered telling them what they want to know?”
“Yes. But Celestia swore me to secrecy about a lot of it. Most of the other stuff I know is stuff they already know. What am I supposed to tell them?”
“I guess I see how that would be a problem. But if I can’t get both of those things in an hour, we won’t be able to go to the party at all!”
“That wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” remarked Spike, putting the ice cream on one of the vacant bookshelves. Sighing in annoyance, Twilight charged up her horn and teleported the frozen treat into where she figured the icebox would be. She would have to deal with any possible mater fusion later. Meanwhile, Spike elaborated. “I think I have your solution. For the quills and stuff, I mean.”
Twilight was surprised that he’d come up with a solution before her. She was so surprised that she doubted Spike really had a resolution, but she decided it couldn’t hurt to try.
“What is it, Spike?”
Spike stifled a chuckle. “You really haven’t figured this out already?”
Twilight shook her head.
The young dragon could no longer help himself, and his laughter echoed off the bookshelves. It took on an almost sinister tone, and Spike took on the mental appearance of a villain- all that was missing was a moustache and top-hat. Despite the fact that she had spells that could give him both of those, the mare in the room was not so amused.
“Spike!!” Twilight shouted. “Just tell me what it is!”
“Okay, fine, I’ll tell you. You know that place you always go to buy quills, right?”
“Yep.” To Twilight, Spike’s idea seemed solid so far. Going to get the quills was more urgent and that made it the logical first stop. At the same time, the young dragon’s voice reminded her of how her parents had often talked to her when she was a foal, which infuriated the violet unicorn, to say the least.
“You do know what else they sell, riiiiight?” Spike said, leaning towards Twilight with a knowing grin.
Twilight grimaced at his condescending tone. “Spike, of course I know what else he sells. Ink and Scrolls!”
Spike couldn’t help snickering a bit. “No, Twilight, that’s not what I mean.”
When Twilight just stared back at him quizzically, the green-scaled drake continued, but did not get to the point immediately, wanting to see how long it would take the unicorn to figure it out. It wasn’t often that the Princess’ student made such an oversight.
“Are you sure Davenport doesn’t sell anything else?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve gone to the store hundreds of times!”
“Okay, then this next question should be a no brainer.” Spike said, clearing his throat. “Tell me; what is the name of his store?”
“That’s easy. Davenport’s Quill and Sofa ... shop.” Realizing her foolishness, Twilight put her head in her hooves, letting out a deep sigh. When she looked back up, she met Spike’s smug gaze.
“It was that obvious? The whole time?”
Spike only nodded, taking in the moment that he would remember for weeks, months, even year to come. A time when he outsmarted Princess Celestia’s star pupil, and arguably the most intelligent unicorn in Equestria.
Twilight, now accepting the humor in the situation, chuckled.
“Wow, I’m pretty stupid sometimes, aren’t I?”
Spike was very careful in answering that question. “You aren’t stupid, you just overanalyze everything.”
“I guess it’s something I have to work on,” Twilight said. “Well then, I guess I’m going to Davenport’s.”
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That bit of humor had been just what Twilight had needed at the moment, and although it didn’t relieve all of the stress, it did quite a bit. She had a passing thought that she should accompany Rarity on her next spa visit. A relaxing day at the spa was just what the mare needed at the moment. Come to think of it, Spike could use some stress relief too. With Rarity there, it would be easy to get him to come, but this would have to wait for later, as she and her assistant had gone separate ways for the time being.
Pinkie Pie had requested that Spike stop by so he could judge the party setup, even though it would doubtless be perfect as usual. Whether or not he would like the party itself was a good question, although knowing his love of parties, the paparazzi probably wouldn’t be enough to spoil it entirely.
Twilight’s job was a little harder than judging streamers and confetti. She had to buy the quills and the sofas, hoping that being a regular customer might get her a deal, or at the very least a loan. Since she’d had to pay the construction ponies in advance, the mare had no idea whether or not she had enough money for the sofa, armchair, and the hoofful of chairs she needed to buy. Davenport’s typical manner of earning the most possible profit out of every sale wouldn’t help things, either.
And yet, Twilight decided to let it all go, something she normally wouldn’t do. She’d had enough things to worry about over the last few days: the crystal empire, the library, and not to mention Spike’s mental well-being. She just wanted to let it all go, and figured that a combination of Pinkie’s party and a potential trip to the spa would let her do just that. But for now, she still had to deal with her furniture fiasco.
Walking in the door of the Quill and Sofa shop, Twilight was surprised to see another pony other than the familiar brown-maned salespony.
“Hey Rarity, what are you doing here?”
The fashionista turned gracefully, trotting over to Twilight to give her a friendly hug.
“Why Darling, it’s so nice to see you! I haven’t seen you since we got back to Ponyville. Spike told me all about the library, although I did have a pretty good idea after we left the place.”
Twilight found herself snorting as her annoyance started building. She mentally reminded herself to remember her therapy and managed to cap a lid on her rage for the time being. “Well, it’s not really a big deal. I just need to replace some things that I … destroyed.”
“I’d assume you’re here for quills, as usual?” The stallion behind the counter asked.
“Actually, I’m in need of some furniture too. You know, having quills and sofas in the same place is really convenient!”
“Yep, ponies are saying that all the time. All the time …” Davenport said with a tone of cynicism, though Twilight didn’t notice.
“So Rarity, you didn’t answer my question. Why are you here? You don’t seem to be buying anything.”
Rarity chuckled. “From this old chap? Heavens no! I just came by to visit, that’s all.”
“Visit? I thought you were still mad at him for that date you two had a few months ago.”
“Oh, I am. That’s the point. I come by here every so often to tease. Now normally I would never stoop to something so appalling, but this fellow doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest, does he?”
Davenport had zoned out, absorbed in his admiration of Rarity’s flank, and it took him a good few seconds to realize that the snow-colored mare had noticed. When he did, he blinked a few times, but didn’t show any outward signs of embarrassment as most stallions would. He treated it as if it were routine, which for him it was.
“No, I don’t mind. Any day with a mare as pretty as you is a good day in my book.” Davenport said, leaning in with a smile. “And also, is that a new shade of eyeshadow you’re wearing?”
Despite herself, Rarity couldn’t help but smile. “The endless compliments don’t hurt either. Now I should really let you get to what you’re doing, Twilight.” Rarity’s voice lowered to a whisper. “Just a warning though; he’s a lot more shifty when it comes to selling the sofas. If he tries to lead you towards something, that’s probably not something you want to buy.”
Twilight had heard enough stories to know that what her fellow element of harmony had said was certainly true. Since the quills were smaller items, and she was a loyal customer, she’d never had to deal with the profit-obsessed side of the stallion. A vast majority of the stories also depicted him as a player, and this had been apparent to Twilight for a long while, even if those affections had never been directed to her. Either way, she decided to take Rarity’s advice.
“So, what do you need?” said Davenport cheerfully. “A sofa, maybe?”
“A few things, actually. Other than a sofa, I need an armchair and a few wooden ones as well.”
Davenport’s smile grew a little wider when he heard the length of Twilight’s list. He came around the counter and lead her into the second room of the store where he kept all of the furniture. Inside were assorted Sofas, Loveseats, Armchairs, Recliners, Rocking Chairs, Stools and Benches in various hues. Each had a price tag attached, and as the money-strained unicorn looked at each number, she couldn’t help but wince.
“Uh, excuse me, Davenport?” She timidly asked.
The stallion, who had been rambling on about the various options she had available, turned back around. “Yes, what is it Ms. Sparkle?”
“I was just wondering if you could show me the cheapest ones. I don’t have too many bits right now.”
Twilight thought she saw a crack in the salespony’s jovial attitude.
“Are you sure you don’t want this one? It’s a good deal, and-”
“No, I mean I literally don’t have many bits with me right now, and all the bits I have are with me.”
But Davenport was persistent. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to buy something you might regret. Maybe you should come back when you have more bits and buy something better … more expensive, maybe?”
At this moment, no amount of anger management training could hold back Twilight’s rage.
“No, you’re going to point me to the cheapest stuff in the store, because between almost dooming an entire empire, nearly watching my assistant fall to his death, and fixing an uprooted library, I’ve had enough stress already!” Twilight was practically screaming at this point. Davenport, along with the rest of the town, knew all too well enough what Twilight was capable of when angry, so he backed off. His voice, which rarely ever faltered, had an unmistakable tone of apprehension.
“Um, of course, Ms. Sparkle.” He said, pointing a shaky hoof to another section of the shop. “The lower-quality items are over here. They’re usually a lot cheaper.”
Twilight smiled, the fire leaving her eyes. “Thank you.”
Davenport chuckled nervously, leading Twilight to the opposite corner of the room. “Some of the least expensive options are over here, but I wouldn’t compromise quality completely just for the sake of price.”
Letting the comment go in one ear and out the other, Twilight scanned the price tags. “How about this one?” she inquired, pointing a hoof at one of the simplest sofas in the store.
The salespony lifted a hoof as if to reject, but decided against it. “It’s your decision.”
Twilight continued looking for the price tag, but wasn’t able to find one.
“Well that’s strange. It must have fallen off,” the stallion reasoned. “But I can tell you that this sofa is 230 bits.”
“230 bits?” Twilight shouted. “Are you serious?!”
“Yes, I am.” Although he had been caught off guard by the librarian’s earlier outburst, Davenport managed to keep his usual stoic manner this time.
Rarity, who had heard Twilight shouting, came stomping in from the other room. She didn’t stop until she was practically nose-to-nose with Davenport, fixing him with a stare that could probably burn through most solid objects. Thankfully for the target of the glare, the deathray didn’t seem to work on ponies.
“Now you listen here. I will not sit idly by as you treat one of my friends that way!”
The stallion just smiled. “You know, you’re really sexy when you’re angry.”
Somehow, Rarity managed to look even more angry than the already was. Davenport just kept smirking. Meanwhile, Twilight was sitting off to the side, not sure if she should intervene, or if it would even be safe for her to do so.
“Excuse me, but I do not wish to be spoken to that way either!”
“If you want to get away from me so much, why are you sticking your face right up against mine?”
Rarity blinked, blushed, then backed away. It was clear that, one way or another, Rarity was going to lose this argument. Fortunately for Rarity, there are other ways of getter hew way without arguing.
“Oh well, if you want me to go away that badly, I guess I’ll be leaving, then. I’ll see you at the party, Twilight.”
“Um, Rarity, there’s no reason to leave. I was … I was just about to give Ms. Sparkle a … discount ... for being such a loyal customer.” From the way he grimaced at the thought of lowering his price, both the mares in the room could tell his true motives.
Turning back around, Rarity smiled. “That’s much better. Now, how much of a discount are we talking about here?”
Twilight, who had not spoken since Rarity had stepped in, now decided to dust off the ol’ vocal cords. “Rarity, I’m sure I can handle this by myself.”
“I’m sure you could darling, but a little assistance couldn’t hurt could it?” Emphasizing her point, she flicked her tail up into Davenport’s muzzle, leaving the stallion with a stupid grin on his face. “You might need it,” the seamstress added, arching her eyebrows.
“Point taken,” said the astute mare. “So, how low can we get the price? I still need to buy the other items after this.”
Davenport’s response was slowed, as his brain was still trying to process what Rarity had just done with her tail and what it meant. “Oh, I can sell you the items in a bundle, I suppose. Those are usually only certain combinations, but I think I can make another one this time.”
“Okay, so if I were to buy the sofa, the armchair, and five chairs, how much would that be?”
“My best guess would be 400 bits,” he answered, his gaze still following Rarity, who was casually looking at the chairs on the more expensive side of the store.
“I don’t have 400 bits. It’ll have to be lower.”
“I don’t think I can go any lower, Twilight Sparkle. I do have to make some money, after all, and I’m already losing enough profit as it is!”
“Davenport, are you going to Pinkie Pie’s party tonight?” Rarity asked, having made her way around the room.
The stallion didn’t react in the slightest. Despite his clear obsession with mares, there was one thing that was more important to him: profit.
“Can this wait a moment? I’m in the middle of business.”
“Humor me.”
“Yes, I am going to the party tonight,” he sighed, “but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
Rarity smiled slyly. “How about this: If you give Twilight the price she wants, I’ll let you take me out to the party.”
Davenport’s eyes widened. “Really. Oh, now this gets interesting, doesn't it?”
“Um, Rarity, you don’t have to do that for me,” Twilight interrupted, more than a hint of nervousness in her voice. “I’m sure I can just put in on layaway, right?”
“Trust me, you do not want to put anything he sells on layaway. You’ll end up paying a lot extra. And besides, I didn’t have any other plans for the party anyway.”
The stallion in the room was grinning ear to ear. “Well that’s good to hear, but how much of a discount are we talking about here?”
Both of them turned to Twilight, who was still a little intimidated by the situation. To say that romance was not her strong suit was an understatement. “Maybe … 300?”
Davenport’s smile suddenly went south, in a manner of speaking. “I’d be taking a loss at that price. I need to break even, or no deal.”
“How much would you need for that?” Rarity asked.
“three-fifty.”
“I only have three-hundred twenty-five bit,” commented Twilight, saying the full number out of habit.
“Well, I guess we can negotiate.” The salespony turned to Rarity. “Rarity has to agree to stay for the whole party, and actually try to enjoy herself.”
“No problem.”
“With the potential for a second date, as well.”
Rarity cringed just slightly, but kept to her element. “We’ll see.”
“Good enough for me. As for you, Twilight, I expect that you’ll pay me the difference at a later date, correct?”
“What kind of negotiation is this?” asked Rarity incredulously. “Do you really think you’re going to get everything your way?”
“Let’s not forget that my normal price is 100 bits more than what you’re paying. I’d say it’s pretty fair, considering.” Smiling, he hooked a foreleg around Rarity’s neck. “So, should I meet you at the party, or what?”
To her credit, Rarity took it all in stride. “Sure. I’ll be there a little after it starts.”
“Why not get there right off?” he asked.
“Well, I didn’t expect to be here so long, and it’ll take me some time to get ready. After all, a lady must look presentable.”
“I can’t argue with that. So, Twilight, do we have a deal?”
Twilight just chuckled and shook her head. “Sure.”
“Okay. I’ll get the cart and pull these over to the library, if you’d like.”
“Actually, I think I can handle it.” Without hesitation, Twilight’s horn glowed, enveloping a sofa, an armchair, and a hoofful of wooden chairs up into the air. She arranged this into single file, at the same time applying her magic to the wall, allowing the assorted furniture to pass right through it. By the time it was over, Davenport was almost a nervous wreck.
“I’m sure there was a less risky way for you to do that, Twilight Sparkle. You could’ve wrecked my shop.”
“Just my thanks for you being such a wonderful host,” said the unicorn.
It took Davenport a few seconds to get the joke, but when he did, he didn’t acknowledge it.
“I’ll see you at the party then, Ms. Sparkle.”
Twilight nodded. She departed the store, but just after leaving, walked back in.
“I almost forgot; I need to get some quills too.”
“Well, I have plenty of those. I’d assume that’s what you needed the other bits for?”
“Yes. I’ll come back for them later.” The magically talented mare left the shop once again. Trotting over to the pieces of furniture, she lifted them all in magical aura and started carrying them back to her house
=-=-=-=-=
Meanwhile, Davenport and Rarity were still having a conversation. Although she did want to get prepared for the night’s festivities, Rarity figured she had some time to talk. Davenport, whose only preparation for the party would be a change out of his work suit, had plenty of time to kill.
At some point, the conversation got to the items he sold.
“I guess I just don’t understand why you sell Quills and Sofas. Wouldn’t it be more profitable to sell other things as well?”
“Actually, I do sell some other stuff.”
Rarity gazed at his skeptically. “Like what?”
Grinning ear to ear, Davenport produced a gelatinous mass from under the counter.
“Like GAK!!”
