Twilight Sparkle Has Sex With a Lobster Man Starring Nicholas Cage

by Chuckward

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Sex, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1404

Twilight Sparkle has sex...with a lobster man.

Starring Gorlock 12 as The Pizza Guy!

If you don't know who Gorlock 12 is, he's from this story.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/25954/Raptor-tastic#page/2

Published 2012-11-12 09:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-05 05:53:09 UTC

Is there any other way I can pay for that?

Is there any other way I can pay for that?

Twilight Sparkle was laying down on her bed reading a book, she was wearing nothing but a frilly pink bra and tight cotton panties that hugged her genitals. She yawned, stretched, and rolled onto her side, repositioning herself until she was more comfortable. She was reading a popular book about a magical space racoon who farts neurotoxins.

"When is that darn pizza going to get here," she asked no one in particular. Of course, there wasn't really anyone to ask. Twilight was in the holodeck of a large Lobster Ship that was currently hurdling through space at thirty thousand miles per hour. She had been launched into space by unknown forces and when she woke up she found herself surrounded by strange creatures.

The creatures had turned out to be Lobster Men, a group of alien creatures that had goals unknown to Twilight. They had been rather nice to her, although she suspected that was only because of how adorable she was. Recently they had protected her from a ship made of meat by firing Nicholas Cage heads at it.

Nicholas Cage, Twilight thought to herself,I don't get why those Lobster Men are so obsessed with him, personally I don't think he's that great of an actor, but I probably shouldn't tell them that. They did give me a death glare for suggesting that they eat a salad, so who knows what they'd do to me if I talked that way about their favorite actor.

Twilight decided she'd give Nicholas Cage another chance, so she walked over to her DVD player and turned it on. There was already a disc in there (Twilight doesn't know how to properly care for her movies) so she turned on her television and pressed play. She was immediately greeted by a scene where Nicholas Cage beats up a woman while in a bear suit.

Twilight shut off the TV and opened the DVD player, then she took out the DVD with her magic. She spun it like a buzzsaw and threw it at a nearby wall. She then walked over to a large panel and opened it. She pressed a few buttons on the inside and a flamethrower instantly appeared in front of her. She turned towards the disc that was now stuck in a wall and sprayed flames all over it. The disc melted, forming into a puddle on the floor. She tossed the flamethrower to the side.

Suddenly the melted mass of metal metamorphosized into a magnet, and it pulled all of the Nicolas Cage DVDs off the shelves. Once they were all together they combined into a single entity, a metallic Nicholas Cage.

"Twilight Sparkle, for committing the crime of trying to destroy a Nicholas Cage movie I sentence you to death."

"Not so fast," yelled a voice from behind. It was metallic Rob Schnyder, the worst actor in the universe. He tackled Nicholas Cage to the ground and began to beat his face in. But Metal Nicholas Cage simply stretched his arms around until they were behind Rob and then snapped his neck.

Suddenly a cavalcade of chrome celebrities surrounded Nicholas Cage. There was Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ryan Reynalds, Mel Brooks, Mark Hamil, Harrison Ford, Lucy Liu, Robert Englund, and a host of other actors. All at once they tackled Nicholas Cage. He was soon engulfed in the metal celebrities. All of them tried their best to defeat Nicholas Cage, but none of them were strong enough, and soon they were transformed back into DVDs. Nicholas Cage turned to Twilight.

"Now it's your turn," he approached Twilight and turned his arm into a sword. Suddenly the door to the holodeck opened up and Gorlock 12 stepped in with a Dominoes Pizza. He saw Nicholas Cage, he rushed forward.

Gorlock 12 did't know why Nicholas Cage was there, all he knew was that he absolutely had to get his autograph.

"Mr.Cage I love your movies so much, will you please sign my claw?"

Nicholas Cage turned towards the weird lobster creature that was running towards him.

"Why of course anything for a fa-" Gorlock 12 cut his head off. In his excitement he had run too fast, and his claw sliced off Nicholas Cage's head as though it were only made of Titanium. Gorlock 12 scoffed. Titanium was nothing to him, he's a Lobster Man. Nicholas Cage collapsed into a pile of DVDs.

"Thank you so much Gorlock 12, you saved me, he was about to take my life from me,"Twilight said.

"No problem, now that'll be eight dollars for the pizza."

Twilight tugged at her bra.

"I'm a little short on cash right now, do you think I could pay for it...some, other way," she eyed his carapace. Gorlock 12 began to take off his pizza man uniform.

"I think we can arrange something."

Twilight dove onto Gorlock 12 and plunged her tongue into his mouth. They kissed with the burning passion of a thousand suns, Gorlock 12 slowly moved his claw down Twilight's panties until he reached the soaking wet lips of her labia. He rubbed his claw on her exposed clitoris, eliciting soft moans from Twilight, forcing her to break the kiss. Gorlock 12 slowly slid his claw into Twilight's vagina. It easily slid inside of her heavily lubed cunt and she gasped. A cascade of orgasmic fluid poured itself all over his claw. He smirked.

"Been awhile?:"

"More like first time ever, now shut up you sexy hunk of lobster, I want you inside of me."

Gorlock 12 turned her around into a doggy position.

"Gorlock I'm a little worried, I know Equstrian Lobsters don't have penises,but what about you?"

"Don't worry baby, I'm not just a lobster, I'm a Lobster Man."

"Oh my."

Gorlock 12 slid his enormous lobster cock into Twilight's pussy and began a rhythmic thrusting. He slid in and out, each slap of his carapace against her rump producing a moan of pleasure from the purple pony he was having sex with. Twilight came several times, coating Gorlock 12's lower body in vaginal fluids.

Gorlock 12 started sweating, he knew he was very close. He wished it didn't have to end, but Lobster Men weren't quite as adept at coitus as Sex Raptors. He pulled out of Twilight and came Nicholas Cage heads all over her. Twilight saw Nicholas Cage heads flying towards her and she screamed and ran away, leaving a confused and disheartened looking Lobster Man in the living room.

"Not again."

I'm not even in my final form.

Here is the speech of William Wallace from "Braveheart":

"I am William Wallace. And I see a whole army of my countrymen,
here in defiance of tyranny! You have come to fight as free men. And
free man you are! What will you do without freedom? Will you fight?"
"Two thousand against ten?" - the veteran shouted. "No! We will
run - and live!"
"Yes!" Wallace shouted back. "Fight and you may die. Run and you
will live at least awhile. And dying in your bed many years from now,
would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for
one chance, just one cahnce, to come back here as young men and tell
our enemies that they may take our lives but they will never take
our freedom!"

A Legend is Born

As typed by Regidar

"PUSH!" Screamed the Lobster Midwife, Doctor Zoidberg. Twilight screamed is horrific agony as her vagina was torn asunder by the moster that science had created.

Doctor Zoidberg turned to a nearby lobster man. "Hey, you seem to know your way around horse vagina, and you mentioned you were self-taught. Mind giving m a few tips?"

Twilight screamed again, and with a pop, the horrible monster saw the light of day for the first time. Doctor Zoidberg held it up in his proud claws. The little thing was covered in Twilight various juices, black as night, with a black mane, small black wings, and a black horn.

"It's a girl!"

Twilight smiled up at the baby alicorn, who somehow already had glasses on it's little head. "I think I'll name it... Nyx. After the first pedophile rapist the lobstermen made president."

The Fucking End.

Author's Note

This story is a part of Past Sins canon. Go ask Pen Stroke yourself.