A Strange Conundrum

by flutterdashforever

Rating: teen
Tags: Zecora, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Fluttershy, Random
Length: 3247

Zecora needs Fluttershy's help with a little problem she's been having.

Zecora has a problem and has had for years. She's never before had friends she could ask to help her before but that all changes when she decides to just ask Fluttershy for help. Can Fluttershy fix this strange problem, or is she going to need some help herself? Find out.

So this is just a little comedy one shot I wrote on a mad inspiration when I didn't have anything else to do. As always if you notice any spelling or grammar mistakes do tell me.

Published 2012-11-12 10:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-13 05:16:50 UTC

A strange conundrum

“When a pony is in need, that’s when it’s best to have friends,
To lend a hoof and to help her make amends.
When a pony needs help with a problem hard to solve,
When alone she lacks the motivation, or the resolve.
She can always be sure that her friends will be there,
To help with her burdens and make them easier to bear.”

Zecora was sitting in her cottage in the Everfree forest, a quill held delicately in her teeth. She looked at the verse written before her and sighed. That was of course the problem; she had been steeling herself to actually ask one of her friends for help for over a week now. She knew that any of them would be more than willing to help but she still felt a little uncomfortable in Ponyvile. Not to mention the fact that it felt like a subject too delicate to ask just any of her friends about.

She sighed again and laid the quill back on her writing desk. There was no avoiding it any more. It was stopping her from functioning normally, maybe even stopping her from making more friends. She would go to Fluttershy: the only one of her friends who could be trusted with such a... delicate matter. Steeling herself, she walked outside and headed to the small cottage that sat at the edge of the Everfree Forest.

Fluttershy was just sitting on her balcony, enjoying a nice cup of tea and a quiet book when she was interrupted by a voice. She flinched, squeaked and guiltily snapped the book shut.

"Fluttershy, friend of mine, I came to request an audience but feel free to decline."

Fluttershy had to stop herself from wincing; she had always found her friend's habit of speaking in rhyme to be slightly disconcerting. It wasn't so bad when they were fluid and made sense, but when they were a little clumsy like that last one had been she couldn’t help but cringe. Fluttershy had always muffled her reaction, being vaguely aware that to not do so would probably be racist. "Hello Zecora, of course we can talk, um, anything in particular you want to talk about?" The whole time she spoke, she had been trying to hide the book's cover."

"Perhaps you would tell me, if you don't mind my pleading, why do you hide the book you were reading?"

Fluttershy had to give it to Zecora on that one as it had been quite clever. "Oh, um, no reason, uh..." she smiled and flung the offending book in through a window of her house. There was a sound from inside that anypony familiar with bunny language would have recognised as incredibly foul cursing. In fact, said pony familiar with bunny language would probably have blushed and refused to provide a translation.

Zecora grinned. "Ah, young pony, do not be ashamed, for your taste in reading you will not be blamed."

Fluttershy frantically sought for a way to change the subject. "Uh, was there something specific you wanted to see me about, Zecora?"

The zebra shook her head as though dismissing Fluttershy's reading habits for later consideration. "Yes there is a mater on which I seek your advice. I ask you because you're the most sensitive to be precise. As I'm sure you have noticed over time, I have a tendency to speak in rhyme."

Fluttershy nodded uncertainly. Well it was hardly something one could miss. "Yes... what about it?"

Zecora sighed. "I know it is a subject over which many are unconcerned but tell me, what of zebra culture have you learned?"

"A myth it is not although I wish it were. But while a spell, it is one that can be broken and caused not to recur."

"So what does that have to do with me?"

"Since you are the kindest of all your friends, I had hoped you would see to it that this curse ends."

Fluttershy was taken aback. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"The magic that holds my wording in verse is strong but I think we can break this curse. What you need to do is to find a way, a spot you will put me in to the magic's dismay, to put me in a situation that you will make, in which it would be so hard to rhyme that the magic will break."

"Well that seems easy enough but I don't get it, surely even if you do manage to say one sentence without rhyming then you'll just go back to rhyming everything after the event has passed."

"Thankfully the spell does not work in that way, once it has been broken once then it loses its sway."

"I get it." It was at that moment that an idea sparked in the adorable yellow head. "And I think I may even be able to help.”

Applejack had just finished harvesting the apples from one of the orchards and was heading over to start on another when she heard a voice. She looked round to see Fluttershy walking beside Zecora.

"Hello Applejack. Me and Zecora needed your help with something."

“Zecora and I,” corrected Applejack automatically.

“What?”

"Uh, never mind.” She shook her head. “Sure thing sugercube, what do ya need?"

"Well actually you just have to stand there." She turned to Zecora, "I think this will work, all you have to do is say this." She gave Zecora a scrap of paper.

The zebra turned her attention to Applejack. "Applejack with coat of orange...." She paused, her lips moving. After a few seconds she began to shake violently. There was a bright white glow and she continued. "I hope you are well on this day of florange." A small brown object was hurtling towards the three. Fluttershy ducked, but Zecora wasn't quick enough and was hit squarely in the face. On the ground, the dictionary flopped open on to a page.

Curious, Fluttershy leaned down and picked it up. "Florange:" she read out "bright sunshine or general pleasantness, as in 'A day of florange.' only word that rhymes with orange." She closed the book.

"Uh, mind explaining what just happened?"

"She wants me to help her stop rhyming. There's some sort of spell that makes it impossible for zebras to not rhyme, but apparently it can be broken if she says one sentence that doesn’t rhyme."

"But what happened with that weird light show?"

"Well it looked to me like the magic panicked and actually created a word so she would have something to rhyme with."

"I don't think I get it."

"Never mind, I'll explain it later. Zecora looks like she could use a lie down."

Applejack looked down at the still unconscious figure. "Want me to help carry her?"

"If you wouldn't mind," said Fluttershy, gratefully.

Back at Fluttershy’s cottage, Zecora was just waking up. She was lying on and incredibly comfy couch and she could hear clicking in the background. When she looked around she could see Fluttershy idly tapping at the ground with her hoof. She looked up when she heard movement.

“Oh good, you’re awake. Can you stand?”

“While I feel a little bit bruised in the head, I feel more than capable of getting out of bed.”

“Good, let’s head outside, Angel doesn’t much like ponies sleeping on his couch.”

Zerora followed Fluttershy outside. The sun was just beginning its journey towards the horizon and the air was buzzing with the pleasant warmth of spring. Zecora took in a deep breath, relishing the scent of flowers.

“What if you said something and then really quickly held your mouth closed?” Fluttershy suggested out of the blue.

Zecora looked up and considered. “After the drastic approach the spell took last, I am loath to try something else so fast.”

They sat in silence for a while, pondering the problem.

“Maybe if you were to try some of the other words that don’t have rhymes, like month”

“Whilst I find it amusing that the dictionary has a new word, I think that another might be absurd.”

There was a slightly longer silence punctuated by the scuffing of Fluttershy’s hoof against the ground. “I don’t know what to do.”

Zecora was just about to get up and leave when there was a faint whoosh and there stood Rainbow Dash. “Hey guys. I was just talking to Applejack and she told me what happened. I thought I’d come over and see if there was anything I could do to help.”

“No, I don’t think there is. Every idea we’ve come up with hasn’t seemed to hold much more merit than the first one.”

“All you have to do is get her to say a sentence that doesn’t rhyme right?”

“Well yea, that is what we’ve been trying to do.”

“Well then it’s obvious, you’ve been going about it the wrong way.” She leaned across and whispered something that caused her yellow friend to become slightly pink tinted. The only word Zecora caught was ‘shock,’ but whatever it was must have been a good idea for Fluttershy smiled and nodded.

Rainbow turned to Zecora. “Watch closely now.” With that she leaned over and started kissing Fluttershy. It was gentle at first but soon became more and more passionate. After a few seconds she spun round and Fluttershy pinned her to the wall, deepening the kiss even further. They stayed locked like that for several minutes, eyes closed. At last they pulled away, a strand of saliva joining their still moist lips.

There was a long silence. At last Zecora spoke. “Well fuck.”

Fluttershy, still a little breathless, said, “It worked!”

Zecora jerked and her whole body was engulfed in a green glow. She began to levitate a few feet off the ground and the glow intensified. There was a sound like shattering glass and the light vanished, dropping Zecora back to the ground. She opened and closed her mouth a few times. “It… it worked…” She trailed off. Then she laughed. “It actually worked! Thank you! Thank you both!” She did a little happy dance, rushed over and hugged Fluttershy tight. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!”

“No problem. Glad I could help.”

Zecora grinned. “If I can ever return the favour, just tell me.”

“Will do.”

“Well, thanks again.” With that, she turned and walked back towards her home, speaking random sentences that didn’t rhyme.

For a while there was silence between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. At last the latter spoke. “Well I’m glad that worked…”

“Yea…”

“Job well done I suppose…”

“Mm hmm…”

“I guess that’s it then…”

“I guess so…”

“No more that needs to be done…”

“I suppose not…”

More silence.

“Still,” she gave a devilish wink, “Kind of a shame to leave it there.”

Fluttershy looked up, a huge, seductive grin on her face. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Hello everypony! I know I said I wouldn't be writing anything during NaNoWriMo but I just felt this was too good an idea to wait till later so here it is. I hope you like it. For more updaty stuff on what I'm writing at any given time feel free to check out my user page specifically the updates section. I'll be posting important news there. This story was partially inspired by this comic: http://cosmicwaltz.deviantart.com/art/Trouble-with-Rhymes-Colored-268991532

Bonus chapter

Authors notes: Ok so this was something that I wrote after I was reading through A Strange Conundrum again and it occurred to me to wonder what would happen after the kiss. This is what I came up with. WARNING: this is extremely satirical. I cannot be held responsible for what I wrote at ten o'clock at night. If you do choose to read on you are in extreme danger of flying fragments of fourth wall. This chapter is not necessary for the story line and I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you chose to quit while it still makes sense. It also contains references to the first season three episode but I doubt there's many of you who haven't seen it yet.

Still reading? Well you have been warned, the nonsense starts here.

“I think we should totally make out right in front of her. I think the shock might just cause her to stop with the rhyming.”

Fluttershy felt a surge of emotions at the words. She could feel her cheeks warming and her heart had started beating at a mile a minute. Nodding her confirmation, she could feel a great deal of anticipation and… eagerness?

Before she could get her feelings sorted out, she felt a soft pair of lips on her own. The pressure increased as well as the depth. She leaned in, feeling her whole body heating up. Her cheeks flushed and her heart rate tripled. She could feel heat emanating from Rainbows face, pressed against her own. She felt a surge of desire and flipped them around, pinning Rainbow against the wall. Rainbow tensed at the sudden movement but then she relaxed and kissed all the more vigorously. After what felt like an eternity, Fluttershy withdrew. She looked at Rainbow’s face, she was smiling, a little dazedly.

“Well fuck.”

That had been almost a week ago now. After Rainbow had suggested they continue things had gotten even better. Suffice it to say that they were both a little breathless by the end. At length, Rainbow had left Fluttershy on her balcony to ponder what had just happened.

“And then what, Dashie? You two friends with benefits now?”

Rainbow blushed. “No, Pinkie! We just kissed.”

Pinkie snorted. “If it lasts for more than five seconds and involves anypony being pinned to anything then it is, at worst, a make out. From what it sounds like to me, it was more of an ‘everything but’ experience.”

“Pinkie! You promised to be delicate!”

“Wasn’t I being? Oh, I’m sorry dear, I don’t know why you put up with me. How’s this: sounds like you two shared a companionable kiss to help a friend. Better?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. I don’t know if I wanted it to just be a companionable thing.”

“Why are you asking me about this?”

“Comedic relief to the author’s stressful life.”

“Oi! Nopony breaks the fourth wall but me!”

“Sorry, sorry. Alright, I came to you because I don’t know what to do.”

“Do about what? Your desire for you and Fluttershy to—”

“Pinkie!”

“Sorry. But you do have feelings for her don’t you? Come on, everypony knows it. After all: you know any one of us would have jousted with you at the crystal fair, but you had to go and pick Fluttershy. Come on Dashie, It’s not subtle.”

Rainbow snorted. “You know what wasn’t subtle: when AJ said that thing to Rarity when she got all de crystalafied. Watch out for those two. I sense a great deal of shipping to be spurred by that event.”

“Ehem.” Pinkie coughed warningly, reminding Rainbow of how close she was coming to damaging the fourth wall again. “Well if you ask me, the only thing to do is go and kiss some more. Surely that’ll tell you how you feel.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Well you have to at least talk to her.”

“You’re right.”

“Well that doesn’t sound like it was just a kiss.”

“Um, I promise, we didn’t do anything else…”

“No, I mean it sounds more intense than that.”

Fluttershy was sitting in a soft chair in Twilight Sparkle’s library. In front of her, Twilight was looking at her intently.
After some thought, she levitated a book with a velvet maroon cover towards her. She flipped it open and Fluttershy got a glimpse of the cover. “Every Kind Of Kissing.”

She nearly choked. “You have a book on kissing?”

“I have a book on everything. This is actually one of the ones I took to the Crystal Empire just in case I needed it for my test.”

“And how would Princess Celestia test your kissing proficiency?”

“Uh, now that you put it like that I’m glad all I had to do was take down some ancient unicorn of pure evil. Mind you…” she trailed off looking dreamy.

“Twilight! Focus!”

“Right, sorry.” She blushed. “Anyway, kissing: what kind of kissing? Lips? Cheeks? French? Chased?” Twilight said, flipping through the book.

“What is wrong with you?”

Twilight looked up, feigning righteous indignation. “I’m a romantic!”

Fluttershy sighed. “It was very intense but nice at the same time, so gentle and warm…” She trailed off, blushing.

“I see…” muttered Twilight, flipping through her book again. “and was there any tongue?”

“Um… maybe… just a little…” Fluttershy attempted to hide behind her mane.

“Well according to this, you two are just perfect for each other and you should definitely pursue a relationship.”

“What?”

“Well you’ve always had feelings for her right?”

“Um…”

“Oh come on, everypony knows. Ever since the Cutie Mark Chronicles.”

There was the clearing of a throat. Pinkies head appeared out of the table top and glared at Twilight. “Watch the fourth wall there, bub!”

“Sorry, Pinkie. My point is, well, come on, she stood up for you, raced the bullies to stop them from picking on you. Ok, so friends do nice things for each other, but you know that’s not what it was about. And seriously, after Hurricane Fluttershy anypony who denied it would be a fool.”

Pinkie cleared her throat again. "Look, could you just lay off referring to the events by name of episode? Call it hurricane day, would you?"

"Sorry again, Pinkie. But the point still stands, you like her and you can't deny it."

“Yea, I suppose. So what do you recommend?”

“Go and talk to her at least.”

“Ok, Twilight, I think you might be right.”

"Oh, and Fluttershy?"

"Yea?"

"I keep tabs of which ponies borrow out which books, that means I know every book you've borrowed out so let me tell you right now that you are on shaky ground telling me off for having a book on kissing"

Fluttershy flushed dark crimson. "Tell nopony." With that, she left.

Fluttershy gulped. She was standing in front of a very intimidating door. The door itself was actually not so bad but behind that door was Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted from the cyan pegasus. She was very carefully ignoring the thought that was telling her with blush worthy accuracy just what precisely she wanted from Rainbow.

Unbeknownst to Fluttershy, Rainbow was just on the other side of the door looking through the peephole, feeling just as nervous. At last, Fluttershy summoned the courage to knock hard on the door. Well, she thought it was hard. Quite frankly, it was lucky Rainbow was directly adjacent to said door, otherwise she might have missed the tiny tapping.

The door opened slowly. “Um, hey, Fluttershy. What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to- to- to talk about the kiss.”

“Oh, that. Um, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that as well.”

Fluttershy perked up. “You have?”

“Uh, yea. So, listen, I’ve had sort of a bit of maybe a kind of, um, tiny little crush on you."

Fluttershy felt her heart leap. “You have?”

“Yea.”

Squealing with delight, the yellow pegasus leaped forward and grabbed Rainbow in a crushing embrace. “I’ve had a crush on you for the longest time, Dashie.”

There was more kissing…