Apple Juice

by Alpha

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Dark, Human, Applejack, Gore, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 939

The Apple family decide to sell homemade apple juice with a very special ingredient.

Applejack and her family decide to start selling homemade apple juice, but not just any apple juice, it's Apple's Apple Juice. Apple juice that has the Apple families juice.

Published 2013-05-08 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-08 02:10:01 UTC

Apple juice

It was a warm summer day in the town of Ponyville, ponies were dying very quickly due to the heat. Applejack saw this and thought "If all the ponies die how am I supposed to enslave them?" So Applejack thought of a plan, she was going to sell apple juice. "Apple juice will quench the thirst and cool off my future slaves!" she exclaimed. Applejack trotted over to Twilight Sparkles house to see if she can make apple juice appear by magick.
"Twilight Sparkle you fucking bitch get your purple ass down here!" screamed Applejack
"You fucking cunt Applejack, I'm masturbating get out!" Twilight yelled back
"Well wheres Spike then? I'll ask him my question."
"I'm using him as a dildo you fucker. Go have sex with an apple or something!"
The thought of apples made Applejack moist and horny which gave her an idea
"Twilight you're a genius!" Applejack shouted
"No fucking shit, why do you think im Princess Celestias favorite student you dumbass!"
Applejack left the house and ran back to her farm. Once she was there she got as many jars as she could and as many apples as possible, she then got Granny Smith, Apple bloom and Big macintosh in the farm.
"Alright your pathetic excuse for a family, we are going to start making apple juice!" Applejack said to her family. Applebloom looked puzzled and asked "Why?" Applejack walked up to Applebloom, looked her right in the eye and said "Because fuck you, that's why." Applebloom started to cry "Save your damn liquids until I tell you the plan!" Applebloom stopped crying and listened. "The plan" Applejack said "Is to hook you fuckers up to this machine, show you apples and harvest your cum as apple juice because it's Apple family juice, Applejuice."

Once they were all hooked up to the machines applejack showed them pictures of apples and the all jizzed because apples are fruits, thats why. Once they finished jizzing up juice the counted up 53,595 cartons of juice which wasnt enough because there 53,596 ponies in Ponyville. But Applejack couldn't use them to make the apple juice because they would all die of cancer because logic. So Applejack went into town and kidnapped Rainbow Dash, though Rainbow Dash was happy because she was a lesbian and wanted to do sex with the Applejack pony. Honestly, it wouldn't make any sense if Rainbow Dash wasn't a lesbian, her mane is a rainbow and gay people have rainbows.

Once Rainbow Dash was hooked up to the Jizz-O-tron-5000 she hit her head and became retarded and then asked Applejack
"APPPPPPLLLLEEEjack, wen wll vve doo tha sexes?" Applejack look at her, shoved an apple in her vagine and said "Right now, my name is Applejack so therefore I am an apple, and theres an apple in your vagina so therefore I am in your vagina"
Then Rainbow Dash had an orgasm and Applejack got to sell more applejuice.

Applejack went into town and sold the Applejuice, the ponies drank it and said "Yum" because apple juice is fucking awesome. But it was so good that Adolf Hitler came and said "Pones lets kill the Jews back on Earth" but the ponies didnt want to because Jew rhymes with you so by killing the Jews they are killing themselves so the pones worshiped Hitler as a god but didnt want to go back to Earth in fear men would ejaculate in their pony butts, though some ponies went including, Derpy Hooves, Apple Fritter, Scootaloo, the great and powerful Trixie, and your favorite pony, yes reader YOUR favorite pony, but if you favorite pony was one mentioned previously then it would be Colgate.

Adolf Hitler saw the Apple juice and drank it, h ethought it was so good he didn't want to kill the Jews anymore, only the blacks. So he went on a rainbow and flew back to Earth and sold Applejuice, now everytime you drink apple juice you are drinking the ejaculate of a apple family member or Rainbow Dash.

But now, Hitler was making money off Apple juice instead of Applejack, so she got her Winona and started attacking Hitler, but Hitler had bodyguards and they attacked Applejack but Applejack kicked one in the face and he started to cry and she felt sad but then Winona pissed on the guard and he turned to acid because a Nazis weakness is urine.

So Applejack said "Urine is their weakness!" but Pinkie Pie came out of nowhere because she's Pinkie Pie and said "I'm in what?"
"Urine!" Applejack said
"I'm in what?" Pinkie Pie responded
"Urine as in urination!"
"I'm a nation?"
"No urination!"
"Im not a nation silly, I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"Urination like pee!"
"I'm not a letter P though my name starts with P" Applejack got so pissed at Pinkie Pie she threw a llama at her and then she died "Oh no Pinkie is daed wut do?" but Applejack didnt know wut do so she went off to kill Hitler.

She found Hitler kicking Rarity in the face and said "HAHA YOU STOOPED CUNT you're the shittiest pony, you're not even generous die die!" Rarity saw Applejack and said "Hey analjack come save me!" but Applejack was mad "I told you only to call me analjack when you do kissing and the sex I am mad!" and said Applejack maderly.so she killed Rarity nd killed Hitler and took his monies and said "Take that Hitler you Jew bastard!" and Fluttershy said "No Hitler hated the Jews." and then she raped Angel.

Teh Ned I mean den I mean FIN