I'm Sorry Sombra

"It's not your fault... what a concept."

My story had been finished, and the need to go on any further extinguished, I had made it obvious to him who I was, thought I tried to remain anonymous, the desire to profess my sufferings to another was overwhelming.  In my upright position on the old matted furniture piece, we starred at each other with blank expressions, the roaring fire that once existed now I smoldering pile of ash, the red glow from its underbelly was the only true source of light in the darkened home.  I cried often while I told the story, I took this moment to wipe the tears streaming down my cheeks.  This was something I was not at all proud of, it was apparent why that was.  Sombra sat in his initial position still, unable to find the words for a proper response, nothing seemed proper at this point.

I could only imagine what he was thinking, that he sat only a few feet away from the biggest monster to ever exist, that all that really happened while he was gone, that I had changed so drastically.  Predator is still inside me, and he always will be, he is apart of who I am, and though I may try, I know I will never be able to extinguish him, but at the very least I can control him.  Sombra was still in a pit of silence, minutes ticked by, I knew this would drag on for longer than was comfortable, so I said the only thing I could think to say, the thing that seemed the most appropriate,

"I'm sorry Sombra, I knew that you weren't evil, but I made you do it anyway, but you see now why.  I know it was hard for you, if I was told to become Predator once again I would probably refuse because I don't wish to relive that life.  Pausing for a quick second, I hoped my apology would sink in, and followed it quickly with, "Was that too much?"  I jokingly referred to the story as a whole, if I was in Sombra's position, I wouldn't know what to say either.  However, Sombra broke my expectations and spoke softly under his breath,

"No... I'm just... how do you go back after something like that?"  I wasn't quite sure what he meant, was he talking about me actually leaving Paradise, er, Equestria?  I questioned,

"What do you mean, go back?"  Sombra must have been wanting to ask this question all along, he wasted no time in his reply,

"How can you just forget all about it and ask for forgiveness?!"  He didn't yell, but he was very assertive about this, and this was the dilemma I felt many beings face, but because I've been asked this question many times before, I knew exactly what would calm his mind.

"Do you think that I thought I was worthy of forgiveness, that I deserved any of their sympathy.  I felt like a monster when I killed him, the boy who killed me...  His name was Rufus Halesworth by the way, the Boy.  No, I felt like I deserved nothing but death when I ended his life, and by my own hands.  How is it that Rufus destroyed me without even threatening me, I struck him down, and he became more powerful than I could have possibly imagined."

Something occurred to me at long last, it stopped me right in my trail of speech, a horrible realization that struck like an eternity of war.  I finally realized why this house was still here, and who lived in it and chills went down my spine, but I didn't wish to show Sombra my weakness or make him realize the same fact that I had just come to terms with.  I pressed on, the behemoth truth now weighing me down,

"No Sombra, it is not easy, and the fact is, we all have a little bit of Predator inside of us, he comes in many forms because he is elusive like that, a friend, a stranger, an idol you look up to, all can be infected by Predator.  You know why Equestria forgave me, because it saw past Predator, it knew what I really was, I wasn't a monster, I was just raised like one.  That doesn't mean whenever we meet Predator in our lives, and it will happen, it happens almost everyday to the common pony, we can't just try to look past the Predator and find something else, we have to stand up and face him without fear, Rufus did just that, he sacrificed himself in the name of peace, that's what killed me in the end."

I wanted to get to my point, I felt as if though I could talk all night, but the house was quickly weighing down on me, I could feel it, the ghost was right on top of me, I had to do my part and escape.  Keeping my composure, I finished my point,

"In the end, we can't let what we have done in the past determine our future.  Others can give up on you, say you're too far in for any hope of redemption, but the worst thing that could happen is when you give up on yourself, you see no point in trying, you become you're own worst enemy.  Our pasts are our burdens to bear, but we have to move on, always try to build a better tomorrow, even if it's by doing something simple like smiling at a customer as they leave a store, to me, the kind little things we do everyday, that is where true greatness lies, and I've been alive a long time..."

I could see a tear drift from Sombra's left cheek, he smiled warmly at me, and half crying half laughing, spoke,

"H-h-how many years have you been alive?"  I smiled back at him, and rose up off the couch I had taken refuge upon, and sat down on the floor closer to him, answering,

"Millions..."  Sombra burst out crying and laughing even louder, I beckoned him towards me so that I may fulfill my part, but he was too busy wiping his eyes to notice me, tears poured down his eyes, I knew they were not tears of sadness, but joy, to know that for the first time ever, he could live tomorrow free of his guilt, the same pleasure I know enjoy.

"You are no evil creature, I know this is true, many are blinded to the possibility of seeing past the flesh, but I see the true you, your energy is like a flaring light, a sign of good if I've ever seen one.  I think Equestria will forgive you either way, but so long as you can forgive what you've done, then I am willing to give you your new life..."  This time Sombra paid attention to my hand gestures, removing himself from the mold he made into the blankets, rose up on all four hooves, and still crying, came towards me, muttering aloud,

"Thank you, you're the first person to ever tell me that...  I stretched out my hand to his forehead, and placed my hand atop his head, my hand was so large compared to him I could barely see his expression behind my hand, but he spoke, "I'm ready, let me pass into a new life..."  This was it, the transformation spell, to completely change the physical appearance and energy of a creature which would make them completely undetectable as whatever they were before, a whole new identity, something we all crave.

I began to focus my energy towards my hand as I spoke my last words to Sombra,

"Are you sure you want to do this, you won't have your powers anymore, and you won't be immortal, you'll be a regular Earth Pony, you will be able to die... are you absolutely sure?"  I could feel his tears against my palms, he spoke calmly and with resolve,

"There's nothing more I'd want now than to live a regular life, and all the struggles that go with it, go ahead..."  There was no stopping him, I centered my mind for one last act.  I quickly pulled my hand off his forehead, pressed all my fingers together, and plunged my hand into his chest, Sombra let out a gasp of air as my hand reached inside him.  I wasn't actually touching Sombra, I was reaching inside him to pull out every last drop of evil energy that existed in him, this would change him and his energy flow permanently.  He gasped and sputtered as his whole body started to change color, going from black to brown, his horn, sharp teeth, and armor all started to melt away.

I got a complete grasp on his dark energy, and pulled my hand back out.  The closer my hand got to leaving his body, the more he changed, his eyes changed to a sparkling blue, his tail and mane changed to a velvety red.  I finally pulled my hand out, and what I held was a small, ruby red crystal, it was all the evil energy that existed inside Sombra put into a solid and tangible form.  Sombra wobbled backwards and took deep breaths as he rapidly adjusted to his new body.

When he got control of himself, his lifted his hooves up in front of his eyes, turning them over to examine them on every side, as if the other side held some sort of secret.  His mouth gaped open, he turned his head around to flick his red tail and watch it fall against his flank, something he had not felt in a very long time.  He rubbed his hoof against his head to find his horn was gone.  Then he looked at me, and I smiled back at him and gave him a humorous remark, pointing to the gem I held in my right hand,

"Old you."  Then pointing directly towards him, "New you."  It was at that point that Sombra did something I hadn’t really expected, he galloped towards me and jumped into me, wrapping his top arms around my chest as best he could, and exclaiming over and over in a completely new voice, one that was much softer and more inviting, and truly represented his heart,

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!  I can’t thank you enough for all of this!”  It was sweet that he felt that way, but to me it seemed a little extreme, I held my hands up in the air, allowing him to hug me rather than me to hug him.  Then again, to him, this must have been the equivalent of being brought back to life, so I smiled down at him and replied,

“It’s the very least I could do...  I want you to take this.”  Sombra stepped off of me and onto the floor, and I gave to him the red crystal that I had pulled out from his chest.  Before grabbing it, he looked at it carefully, not fully understanding what it actually was, asked me,

“What is this exactly?”  I held it up in front of me and cleared my throat before giving the technical definition of what it was.

“Well, this is your evil energy.  I know I’ve used the word energy a lot but never really explained it, it’s basically an underlying force that when properly channeled can be used to do a number of things, this is how unicorns on this world do magic, because they have energy.  Every energy is different, and depends heavily on what it originates from.  This red gem I hold is all the evil energy of your previous form, your Predator if you will, though it didn’t appear to be very large to begin with, this red energy is highly concentrated and was extremely powerful, I had to use my own energy to put a case on it.  Take it do what you will with it, it’s harmless so long as energy is casing it.”

He looked at it with a sort of frown, it was the reminder of what he used to be, he took it from my hand and held it up to his face, then cautiously asked me,

“What if I want to sell it?  If I’m going to be starting a new life I’m going to need some bits…”  I laughed a bit, and then smiled at him replying,

“That’s fine, sell it to an artifact collector, jeweler, make it a holiday ornament for all I care, it’s yours.”  I had completed my end of the deal, and it was time for me to depart, the realization I had from earlier still loomed.  I spoke to him,

“Shall we go then?”  Sombra looked up at me and nodded, but quickly added on,

“But wait, will I ever see you again?  Isn’t there a war starting?” This question had plagued me for some time now, I knew that I could try to fight it, but I would always have an attachment to Equestria, I would always want to come back, no matter how much I tried, I knew I wasn’t done with this world, and that there were adventures to be had still.  I replied as I rose to my feet, careful not to hit the ceiling, and turned back to the doorway I came through,

“…It’s true there is a war starting, one you thankfully won’t have to be a part of, but one I must fight.  Will I come back?  Of course I will, I guess I'm still forgiving myself, as far as Celestia and all of Equestria is concerned, I'm dead, I just need more time before I drop this bombshell on them...  I'll tell you when I come, but nopony else will know, to them, I'll be the random pony in the background they've never seen before."  My shape shifting abilities had helped me out quite a number of times now.

Sombra followed me to the doorway, and from behind, he commented,

"Hey, why is my cutie mark bubbles?"  As I was grabbing the doorknob, I froze, and slowly turned back to face him with a sort of nervous laughter, I was embarrassed about why I chose bubbles, but I gave him the truth,

"Well, you see, the thing is, when I was Predator, all those years ago, there was one pony that I loved above all others, she was quirky, unpredictable, and chaotic, and back then, that was a combination I loved.  Her name was Derpy Hooves, and her cutie mark was a trail of bubbles."  Sombra gave me a sort of blank expression, and I returned it with another nervous laughter.  Facing back to the doorway, I turned the dusty old knob and forced the guardian of the home open.

When I opened the door, instead of the persistent blast of frigid winter air that had pounded the home all the night, there was absolute peace, no winds, no clouds, not a single snowflake dropped from the sky.  I pressed out further, finally being able to stand my full height, which put me eye level with the second story window and gazed out onto the plains.  It was like a dune of snow, the hills had formed so perfectly it was almost unreal.  In the distance, I saw ghostly glaciers break off from the shore, and drift into the arctic sea.  In the sky above, streams of light danced across the sky, displaying every color mother nature had to offer.  I took this all as a sign, a sign of a new beginning, not just for me, but for Sombra.

Sombra came out next to me, and gazed around, taking in all the beauty of the landscape.  Sombra looked up at me and noted,

"It may sound silly, but I think this was meant for us."  Without even looking down at him, I nodded, and spoke back,

"I think, I'll get you to the nearest town...  According to my map we need to head this way."  I pointed outward in a direction that contained a plethora of hills with no end in sight, now looking to see where I was actually pointing to, I groaned aloud and mumbled, "I'm getting too old for this..."  Sombra laughed and with a skip in his hoof, started towards where I had pointed, and cried back towards me,

"Come on then!  We have a whole new life ahead of us!"  His enthusiasm was infectious, giving me the energy needed to press onward once again into the barren yet majestic land.  One step after another, I pulled myself away from the home, from my past.  What I had realized earlier was this, the home I found refuge in, was the home that Rufus lived in as a child, and that it was my wolves I created long ago that killed his parents and his sister, the ghost that had been watching me intently the whole time.

I turned back towards the home, and thought it didn't surprise me, the home was gone, completely flattened where it had just stood, maybe it had a new start too, and had finally been set free.  Standing in place, I gave the house my departing regards before continuing along my path,

"Tell Shimi Ishira said thank you."

Turning back, I saw how far ahead Sombra already was, I kept a steady pace, and proceeded into the abyss, whistling a song I had learned long ago that I had always enjoyed,

When I was young it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle...

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