Another loud crash downstairs makes me shove my hooves in my ears. Everything is muffled, all the cursing, all the yelling, but I somehow still manage to make out my mother spit my name, "Scootaloo!" like it's poison in her mouth. I know it's not me they're fighting about anymore but it is me that started it. I always start it whether I mean to or not. They never tell me as much but I'm smart enough to figure it out for myself. When two ponies always fight and your name is always mixed in there, it's gotta be your fault.
My stomach rumbles and I long for the sandwich I'd been making when the argument began. It's downstairs on the counter, half made and just waiting for me. I'm pretty sure I could go down and get it without even being noticed but the thought of staying inside the house a second longer makes me want to tear my mane out. It takes every ounce of courage I have to crawl out from under my bed. Mom and Dad sound closer when I'm out in the open so I hurry as I grab my helmet and buckle it under my chin. My saddlebags are fastened around my stomach and I head for the window. Though my room is on the second floor, this is an escape I've made so many times before that the fall doesn't scare me anymore. Each time I jump I flap my wings and pray this will be the time I learn how to fly. And each time I thump down into a heap in the grass I mentally run through a few choice words my mom likes to use when she forgets I'm in earshot.
Despite the urge to get away I crawl over to the living room window and prop my front hooves against the sill to peer inside. Mom's cheeks are flushed with anger, bright red spots against pale peach fur. Her wings are extended and her head is down, her lips curled up into a sneer. Dad glares at her from across the room as he uses his unicorn magic to clean up the pieces of a broken vase. A small streak of crimson stains his yellow fur and I realize the vase is broken because Mom threw it at Dad. His flank is cut because of her.
A panic and rage well up inside me so quickly that I rear back and, before I can stop myself, I slam my hooves against the glass of the window as hard as I dare. The smacking noise shakes them both and they look toward me with startled jerks of their heads. "I hate you both!" I bellow, then I run as fast as I can for my scooter and just go. Tears blind me but I flap my wings as hard as I can and speed away, pretending to hear them calling for me to come back so I can have the satisfaction of ignoring them. But in reality they don't call. They never do.
This is a scene we have all played out before, one so familiar we don't even need a script. Not that we ever did; my parents are professional arguers. They spend more time bad-mouthing one another and fighting than they do even acknowledging my existence. Unless I do something wrong, then I have all the attention I want. It's gotten to the point when I push their buttons on purpose just so I can feel like they remember I'm alive. They've never hit me, never yelled at me the way they do at each other, but for those brief few minutes I am being scolded I feel like I'm not invisible to them. All of those collected moment are bittersweet because the blaming always begins and it's never my fault, but theirs. It's never their fault, but each other's.
My wings tire as I speed along through Ponyville and it only makes me angrier. I know the reason Mom is so angry all the time is because she hates living down here. She's never hidden the fact that she misses Cloudsdale, the freedom her wings gave her to travel wherever and whenever she wanted. With a unicorn husband she was tied to the ground. Throw in a pegasus daughter who couldn't even fly, of course she hates us. Dad blames her for making his life miserable and I blame myself for not being everything they wanted me to be. Though there are ponies all around me everywhere I go, I have never felt more alone.
I have to pull off the path at one point and abandon my scooter for the shelter of the shadows between the trees in the park. I can see everyone but no one can see me as I curl into a ball and let myself cry. I cry so much that my body shakes. I find myself fighting for air and coughing so hard I almost throw up. But I can't calm myself down. I'm way beyond that point now. Soon I'll be overheard and my private hurt will become all too public. I have to leave this place but I can't make my legs work.
"Look, there's Scootaloo's scooter!"
My breath hitches as I hear the familiar voice of one of my best friends. I can see Apple Bloom as she hurries over to my scooter, Sweetie Belle right behind her. Apple Bloom frowns and looks left and right. "But where's Scootaloo?"
"I don't see her anywhere," says Sweetie Belle, her voice cracking.
A large part of me screams out to them and wants them to know I'm here. I long for nothing more than the company and the comfort they always provide but they know nothing about my family. I'd have to tell them this time, or come up with a really good lie really fast and I'm just not that good. So I stay where I am, my coughing subsiding, and pray they will just go away.
"Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Over here!"
I gulp, panicked, as I watch Apple Bloom wave to ponies I can't see. Soon enough the orange farm pony and the blue pegasus join my friends to discuss where I might be. The situation can't get any worse.
"Maybe we should split up and look for her," Sweetie Belle suggests.
Why, I scream in my head. Why is it so important to find me right now? Don't you have anything better to do?
"I reckon that's a good idea," agrees Applejack. They split off in four different directions and I hold my breath. Maybe I should wait until they're out of sight and then take my scooter and run. I'm not as fast as Rainbow Dash but I can move when I have to. Maybe I could get away without anypony seeing me. But then where will I go? I don't want to talk to anypony and I definitely don't want to go home. I just don't even want to exist right now. And then the tears are falling once again because I realize how much easier life would be if I really didn't exist anymore. My mom would leave my dad for sure and they'd be apart and so much happier. They wouldn't have to worry about taking care of me or anything anymore.
"Princess," I whisper. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I..." I what? I'm scared, I'm heartbroken, I'm so lonely. But what can the princess do about it? I'm just one little pony in a world full of bigger problems. What did I matter in the grand scheme of things?
"Scootaloo?"
I freeze and hold my breath when Sweetie Belle speaks my name softly behind me. I can't even make myself blink when the leaves rustle around me and she shoves her way between branches and into my small clearing. As she moves in front of me I feel so ashamed. I would rather die than anypony see me like this. I expect her to make a face, tell me to stop being such a baby or something but she just looks at me with the saddest expression. "Scootaloo?" she repeats with confusion. And then her own eyes fill and I am the one confused. "Are you okay?" she asks quietly. "Why are you crying? Are you hurt?"
I want to say no, especially when I realize she's crying now because she's worried about me, but everything inside me hurts. I sniffle and open my mouth to reply but all that comes out is a wet sob. Sweetie Belle throws her forelegs around my neck and I lose it again. She doesn't ask anymore questions for awhile, just sits there with me, holding me tightly and stroking my mane. At some point I feel another embrace snake around me and through my tears I see yellow fur. My two best friends. Now I feel really stupid.
When I find my voice the first thing that comes out is, "Why are you guys here?"
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle carefully untangle their legs from around me and look at me, worried. "We were looking for you," says Sweetie Belle.
"But why?"
"We were goin' to your house to see if you wanted to come swimmin' with us," begins Apple Bloom.
"...and we heard your parents yelling," Sweetie Belle finishes.
I moan and bury my face in my hooves. "Kill me now."
"So I ran an' got Applejack 'cause we were scared."
"And Rainbow Dash was with Applejack and when we told them what was going on she said she was coming, too."
Apple Bloom's brow wrinkles as she looks at me. "Why were your parents hollerin' like that?"
"I think it's their real special talent," I mutter darkly. "It's pretty much all they know how to do." Neither of them seem to know how to reply to that and I suddenly feel amazingly idiotic. I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly and shrug. "It's no big deal, guys. Seriously, they do it all the time. I'm so used to it by now I hardly even notice anymore." Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom share a look and I sigh. "Look, everypony has parents who fight. It's not like I'm special or anything."
"My parents don't fight like that," Sweetie Belle says softly. "At least, I don't think they do. I never see them enough to really know if they fight or not."
"I don't know if my parents ever fought," admits Apple Bloom, "but I bet they didn't fight like that." She shakes her head. "No pony should ever fight like that."
"Well mine do, okay! Now if you don't mind I'd really rather be alone." I can't bring myself to care when Sweetie Belle's bottom lip quivers. She looks at Apple Bloom again, and Apple Bloom stands, puffing out her chest.
"Maybe we do mind." I knew I'd get a fight from her. She was just as stubborn as I was sometimes. "You're our best friend, Scootaloo! We can't just leave you alone!"
"We won't!" agrees Sweetie Belle, her voice cracking again.
"Why not?" I spit. "I'm alone anyhow! I'm always going to be alone. My parents don't want me around, sooner or later Sweetie Belle's going to go away to magic school and Apple Bloom, you'll be working on the farm all the time like Applejack and Big Macintosh. and once again I'll be left alone because I'm obviously never going to learn how to fly and I'm never going to get my stupid cutie mark! So why don't you both just do me a favor and go away!"
"No pony's leaving you, squirt."
Rainbow Dash's voice behind me makes me whip my head around to see her standing there with Applejack, an uncharacteristic look of sadness on her face. "Why would you even think that?"
"Because it's true. Even you'll leave me if you join the Wonderbolts."
"When I join the Wonderbolts," she corrects, "I'll be gone sometimes but not all the time. I'll always come back here. Ponyville will always be my home. All my friends are here, you're here." She reaches out and ruffles my mane, smirking. "You may annoy me sometimes but you're starting to feel like a little sister to me. You don't just leave family. Not real family, anyway."
"And you can always come visit me in magic school," Sweetie Belle offers.
"An' the farm ain't that far away!" Apple Bloom reminds me.
"An' you will learn to fly," promises Applejack. "It's just gonna take some time an' some patience. Same for your cutie mark."
"I was thinking," says Dash thoughtfully, "that maybe I could take you sky surfing sometime. You know, get you in the air so you can really feel what it's like. Maybe that'll help some."
"Really?" I blink, hopeful. I would give my left hoof to hang out with Rainbow Dash and here she is, offering to fly with me and calling me her little sister. I can hardly believe my ears.
"Sure! How about right now? I can fly home and get my board if you're up for it."
"Am I ever!" Suddenly all my fears and sorrows are gone. I'm so excited I can't even stand it.
"Can we watch?" asks Sweetie Belle excitedly. "I've never seen sky surfing before."
"Totally!"
Applejack looks at me with a kind smile. "Then when you two are done we can all head back to the farm an' have some hot cocoa an' snacks. You and Sweetie Belle can stay over tonight if you want."
I nod emphatically but then remember home and my mood dips. "I'll have to ask my parents."
"How 'bout you let me do the askin'," Applejack suggests. "I got a few things I wanna say to them anyway." She and Rainbow Dash share a look that I don't fully understand, but it gives me chills anyway. There's cold determination on both of their faces for the quickest moment, then Dash is grinning again.
"See, squirt? You're not alone. You're never alone."
I see Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle converging on me from the corner of my eye but I am flinging myself at Rainbow Dash before they can get their hooves around me. Then suddenly it's one big pile of hugs with me in the middle. I've never been one for outward signs of affection but I laugh and feel the broken pieces of my insides start to knit themselves together. Maybe my parents kind of suck, but for the first time I realize I don't need them to be my family. I've got all the family I'll ever need right here, and Dash is right. I'm never really alone when I have them in my life.
