Parental Problems

Chapters

Prologue: Red Letter Day
The Beginning...
A Little Get-together
The Morning After + Just Out Of Town
Mother Of...
Double Dinner Date
Morning...
All In The Past
Breakfast
Unexpected
Reset
Conversation
Mares...
Hangover
Things Best Left Unspoken (Now with more words!)
The Truth

Prologue: Red Letter Day

Post Haste yawned as he pulled himself out from under Rainbow Dash’s legs. Three months had passed since he had arrived in Equestria in mysterious circumstances, and just less time since he had been turned into a pony. Now he had a job, friends and a steady relationship with a native of the world.

The blue-grey stallion stood and shook his head in an attempt to clear away the dull haze of sleep. He looked dimly around the cloud house he shared with his lover, his mind still trying to get moving.

“Hey handsome.” He turned around and saw that he had woken up Rainbow Dash, her technicolour mane a mess. He didn’t care. She looked as radiant as ever. “Why don’t you come back to bed?” she asked, patting the cloud as she gave him her best “come hither” eyes.

He flapped his wings. “I have to work. Somepony has to deliver the mail.”

“We’ll be quick.”

“The last time you said that I was two hours late and Ditzy threatened to fire me,” Postie replied with a soft laugh. “For the fastest pony in Equestria you really take your time.”

“What can I say?” Rainbow replied, laughing as well. “You make me wanna slow down.”

Postie leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “After work, okay? It’s only Sunday, there probably won’t be much anyway.”

“Just don’t take too long,” Rainbow said as he flew out of the window and down towards Ponyville.

Ponyville hadn’t really changed in the three months since his arrival. The leaves had started to turn a mix of yellows and oranges but apart from that there was nothing of note. Rainbow’s weather duties had stepped up a notch, and a surprising influx of mail had kept Postie and Ditzy on the tips of their hooves for weeks. The good thing was the extra weight had made Postie a very strong flier.

He pushed open the door to the post office to see Ditzy Doo, the wall-eyed grey pegasus mare, preparing his saddlebags for his rounds. To his dismay, one of them was full. “Where is all this mail coming from?”

“No idea,” Ditzy replied, blowing some of her blonde mane out of her face. “It’s never been this busy this time of year. By the way,” she grabbed something from underneath the counter and passed it to the stallion, “this was addressed to you.”

“Really?” Postie looked at his first ever piece of personal mail; everything else had been to do with his employment or taxes. “Who’s it from?”

“No idea. The return address says it’s from Hippogriff, though.”

“Hippogriff?”

“It’s a town on the Equestria-Aquileon border,” Ditzy explained. “It’s only been around for two years.”

“Hippogriff?” Postie asked again incredulously, refusing to believe what his boss had just said.

“That’s what I said,” Ditzy replied, looking confused, one eye staring blankly at the ceiling. “Is something wrong?”

The stallion shook his head and sighed. “No, never mind. Just... something you wouldn’t get.” He went behind the counter and grabbed his mailpony cap, a simple thing with the Royal Equestrian Postal Service’s winged scroll stitched onto the front.

The mare stared at her colleague before shaking her head. “Okay then. Anyway, being on the border means that there’s a lot of griffons living there with ponies.”

“Don’t griffons eat meat?” Three months ago the idea would have meant less than nothing to him, but three months in the body of a vegetarian had changed Postie’s outlook. Eating meat was now something he viewed as vile and wrong, though not exactly evil.

“They don’t eat ponies,” Ditzy replied with an eyeroll. “I was at flight school with a griffon, they’re not that bad.”

“Really?”

“She was an exchange student. Now,” she said, grabbing the saddlebags and dropping them onto Postie, making him stumble as he tried to cope with the sudden weight, “get out there and deliver that mail.”

“Yes ma’am,” Postie droned when he regained his balance.

“I’ve told you not to call me that,” Ditzy replied, sounding a little annoyed.

“I know,” the stallion replied with a smile as he flew out of the door, the bell jangling merrily.

It took him most of the day to complete his rounds, but the time seemed to fly. The possible contents of the letter, tucked under his cap, were on his mind the whole time. He operated on auto-pilot, ignoring most of the greeting he received.

“Are you okay?”’

“I’m fine, Pinkie.”

“No, you’re not. You know what you need?”

“... A party?”

“A part - hey, that’s my line!” Ponyville’s premier party pony, Pinkie Pie, gave the mailpony a slightly annoyed stare. “Why are you so down, anyway? Trouble in bed?”

“No, it’s - WHAT!? No!” The stallion looked at the pink pony with a mix of disgust and shock. “What made you think that?” he asked loudly, his previous train of thought thoroughly derailed.

“Just a guess.” Pinkie grabbed her mail in her mouth and happily bounced inside Sugar Cube Corner. “Pheeya!”

“Yeah, bye.” Now he was worried about something completely different. Was Rainbow being entirely honest with him? What had she been telling her friends? He pushed the thoughts from his mind, deciding that thinking like that wasn’t a good idea. “Damn that crazy pony,” he muttered.

He took a look at his saddlebags and noticed that they seemed deflated. He stuck his head in each and found that both were in fact completely empty. He chuckled and shook his head, not really able to believe that he had managed to miss something like that. He turned tail and flew back towards the post office, his mind turning to what Rainbow would say and do when he got back to the cloud house.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Ditzy asked when the stallion pushed open the door to the post office.

“Huh?”

“I haven’t seen anypony smile like that since Twilight went nuts.”

Postie toned the smile from ‘blood-thirsty murderer’ down to ‘smug’. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Ditzy waved a hoof airily. “Compared to Nightmare Moon declaring eternal night, your smile is nothing,” she said. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Right.” Postie walked over to the saddlebag hook and hung them up, before taking off his cap. When he did, the envelope he had tucked under it fluttered down to the ground, where it rested against his hoof. It took him a moment to remember what it was. “Oh yeah!”

“And I thought I had memory problems,” Ditzy commented.

“When you run into Pinkie Pie, you forget things,” Postie replied as he opened the envelope. He put the letter onto the counter and straightened it out with his hooves. He leaned over and read through the letter, his brow furrowing as he took in the contents. When he finished reading it the first time, he read it a second, then a third to make sure that he had understood perfectly what was written. “Ditzy,” he said, his ears drooping, “I’m gonna need some time off.”

The Beginning...

“Oof!”

“Rainbow, what have Ah told ya ‘bout sleeping in mah apple trees!?”

Applejack had just caught Rainbow Dash napping in one of the many trees that made up the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. The farmer was glaring at the pegasus, who was resting on the ground on her head.

“You don’t have to buck the tree you find me in every time!” Rainbow complained back as she righted herself. “I’m probably getting brain damage,” she said as she rubbed at the lump that was beginning to form.

“Not like there’s anythin’ to damage,” Applejack retorted harshly.

“What?” Rainbow asked menacingly.

“Ah said that there’s nothin’ in yer head worth worryin’ ‘bout damagin’.”

“Okay, that’s it!” Rainbow pushed up a pair of imaginary sleeves and prepared herself to tackle Applejack at high speed before a voice caught her attention.

“What the hay is going on here!?” Both mares looked up at the source and saw Post Haste perched atop a tree, looking down on them in confusion.

“Ah caught her sleepin’ in one of the trees,” Applejack responded. “And Ah thought Ah told ya that yer not welcome here no more,” she added, glaring at the stallion.

“Still upset about that, huh?” Postie replied nervously, rubbing at the back of his head.

“Yes Ah am still upset about that! Applebloom is much too young to have ta know ‘bout the birds and the bees!”

“How were we meant to know that she would take the Crusaders into that barn?” Rainbow retorted. “That’s not our fault.”

“So ya think that justifies the fact that you two were trespassing on mah private property and doing that? Really?”

“I think we’re just lucky the Crusaders think we were wrestling,” Postie said. “Dunno how long that’s gonna last...”

“Damn straight yer lucky,” Applejack replied, shooting the stallion the kind of glare that was known to have killed crop-stealing varmints in the past. “Now for the last time, get offa mah property!”

“Before I go, I have a message for Big Macintosh,” Postie said, hoping he hadn’t blanched under the murderous stare the farmer was giving him.

“What is it?”

“The private kind,” the mailpony replied, sounding more confident that he felt. “So, if you could tell me where I can find him...”

“He was over fixin’ the barn. The one Applebloom found you two in,” she answered harshly.

“Thanks,” Postie replied, eager to leave the presence of the unhappy farmer as soon as he could.

It didn’t take him long to locate the big red pony. Like Applejack had said, he was by the barn, a hammer in his mouth and a number of nails resting next to him. “Hey, Big Mac!” he called out, waving a hoof to get his attention.

The stallion looked up and nodded back at his friend. “Howdy, Postie,” he said when the pegasus landed.

“I wanna hang around, trust me, but I’m worried your sister will attack me if I do,” Postie replied, nervously looking around.

“She still upset about what you two did in the barn?” the farmpony asked calmly.

“Yeah.” Postie raised his head and thought about something. “Aren’t you upset about this?”

“Ah was,” Big Macintosh replied with a shrug as he walked to the other side of the barn. “Nothin’ Ah can do about it though, so no point in stayin’ angry.”

“That’s why I like you,” the pegasus replied, following the farmer. “You’re logical. You know there’s no point in being angry, so you stop. It’d be a lot easier if Applejack were like you.”

That comment made the stallion chuckle. “That just ain’t gonna happen, though. She’s too stubborn to change her mind, and you know that.”

“True,” Postie replied. “Anyway, there was a reason I came over here.” The pegasus looked around to make sure there weren’t any nosy ponies trying to eavesdrop on them. “Fluttershy wants you to go to her house tonight. Make sure you’re alone.”

Big Macintosh seemed incredibly pleased with that. “Thanks, Postie. Ah’ll make sure to do that.”

“Okay then. I’ll get going before Applejack decides to tie me to a tree and use my head for practice.”

“You do that,” Big Macintosh said, the smile still playing on his lips as the pegasus disappeared.

Not long after Post Haste had gone, Applejack came into view, angrily muttering to herself. Big Macintosh couldn’t hear what she was saying, but it was pretty obvious what it was. After all, she’d been going on about it for the last two weeks.

“You really should calm down, AJ,” the stallion said when she came into earshot.

“And why should Ah do that?” she asked her brother, still upset.

“Because it’s affecting yer work. And it certainly can’t be good for you,” he replied calmly.

“If Rainbow and that damn stallion hadn’t gone and done that in the barn, Ah wouldn’t be upset in the first place!” Applejack replied angrily, resisting the urge to buck the barn and undo a good portion of her brother’s hard work.

Big Macintosh couldn’t hep but raise an eyebrow. “Maybe that’s the problem. Yer jealous of Rainbow.”

The mare stared at her brother, confused. “Now why would Ah be jealous of her for?”

“I dunno. Maybe cuz she has a coltfriend and you don’t?” He asked her in such a calm, non-snide way that it took her a moment to realise what he had actually said.

“What?” Applejack asked back. “Ah don’t need a coltfriend, and Ah definitely ain’t jealous.” She finished the statement with a laugh that only served to reassure her brother that she was indeed lying.

“Uh-huh,” Big Macintosh said, unconvinced. “Well,” he said carefully, “maybe you’d be more relaxed if ya didn’t work so hard and found yerself a stallion.” He walked off as his sister began to splutter in a mix of anger and shock. By the time she could get a coherent word out, Big Macintosh was already back at the house.

“What!?”

“Hey, Rainbow?” Postie called out when he returned to the cloud house.

“Upstairs!” came the reply, muffled by several layers of cloud.

Postie went up to the source. Now, compared to how it had been the first time he had seen it, the kitchen was spotless and actually resembled a kitchen, as opposed to the compost heap it had once been. He passed the kitchen and found himself in the bedroom he shared with her. “I need to ask you something.” Then he realised that Rainbow was nowhere to be seen. “Rainbow?” Then he noticed the sound of running water.

“In here!” she replied. Postie stepped into what could be called a bathroom. In reality, it was a sectioned-off area of the top floor that was used for showering and other such business. The ‘shower’ was nothing more than a raincloud that somehow produced warm water, which Rainbow Dash was standing under. “What is it?” she asked.

Postie fought against his wings to stop them from rising. The way her mane hung over her face was too alluring for its own good. The way the water shimmered on her slim muscular body was almost too much for him. What sealed it was the look on Rainbow’s face when she realised what was going through Postie’s mind.

“It can wait,” he said as he joined her under the cloud.

After what shall only be described as a long, steamy session in the shower, both pegasi eventually emerged from the small shower-room. “I think we did something wrong,” Postie said.

“What do you mean?” Rainbow asked, panting slightly.

“I feel dirtier now than I did going in.”

Rainbow laughed loudly at that. “What were ya gonna ask me about before?”

It took the stallion a moment to recall what had been preoccupying him earlier. “Oh. Right. Have you told your parents about us?” he asked as nonchalantly as he could.

“I did. Why?” Rainbow replied, worried at the direction the conversation seemed to be going.

“Oh thank Celestia,” Postie said, relieved. “For a while I was worried that your father was stalking me.”

“What?” Rainbow was alarmed, to say the least. Then the pieces clicked together. “Oh no,” she said as she face-hoofed. “He sent you a letter, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“What does he want?”

“He invited us to visit. He wants to meet me,” he replied, sounding worried.

“He wants us to go all the way to Hippogriff?”

“Yeah,” Postie replied, trying his best to avoid a repeat of what had happened at the post office earlier that day. “Should we go?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow replied sadly. “And I wanted to do the Running of the Leaves again this year! I would’ve beaten AJ for sure!”

Postie simply raised an eyebrow as he trotted closer to the bed. “Anyway, he wants us to be there in a few days.” He jumped up onto the cloud bed and sighed. “I think we should go. I mean, I gotta meet them sooner or later. May as well get it over with.”

“I guess you’re right.” Rainbow joined him on the bed and yawned. “We’ll talk about it more in the morning.”

“If you get up early enough,” Postie muttered. Rainbow responded by smacking him in the back of the head with a hoof. “Ow!”

You people have enough imagination to guess what happened. I suggest you use it.

This chapter was written while listening to Art vs Science's MAGIC FOUNTAIN and Faster Stronger Better Gaben.

A Little Get-together

Pinkie Pie’s response upon learning that they would be leaving town was... obvious. For a pony that was famed for being incredibly random, she was paradoxically predictable. Rainbow and Postie had told her, upon finding out what was happening, that they wanted nothing big; their departure wasn’t permanent or likely to affect anypony drastically. After much talking and bouncing on Pinkie’s part, the necessary details were decided upon. They all agreed that it wouldn’t be big, just close friends, and that it would end at a sane hour so the pegasi could leave before noon. After getting Pinkie to Pinkie Pie Swear to not drink any alcohol before or during the party, they left her to do what she did best, not knowing just how bad an idea that would turn out to be.

“You’re lucky, you know that?”

“Huh?” Postie turned to Ditzy, the mare leaning against the counter and looking a little glum.

“Sorry. It’s just, you going to see Rainbow Dash’s parents made me think about when I met my in-laws for the first time.”

Postie grabbed the saddlebags and slung them onto his back. “That must have been unpleasant.”

“That’s probably the biggest understatement I’ve heard all year,” Ditzy replied with a chuckle. “It was terrible.”

“Really?”

“Turns out his parents were purists,” she said, the distaste in her voice clear.

“Purists? What’s that mean?” Postie asked, head tilted in confusion.

Ditzy blinked. “Right. I keep forgetting,” she said as she shook her head. “A purist is a pony who thinks that the blood should not mix. Unicorns with unicorns, pegasi with pegasi, that sort of thing.”

“Oh,” Postie replied, his ears drooping. “I see.” He was a little shocked that such views could exist in Equestria, given how kind and generous the inhabitants seemed to be.

“Basically, the night ended with him telling them that they would either accept me or lose him as a son.”

Postie wasn’t sure whether to applaud the stallion’s gall or be disgusted at how readily he would disown his parents. “So, what happened?”

“They caved.” Ditzy shrugged. “They don’t like me, but they don’t try and force us to split, especially with Dinky around.”

“Huh.” Postie had no idea how to respond. After a few moments he decided to just change the topic. “Anyway, Pinkie’s throwing a party.”

“Why?”

“She doesn’t need a reason,” Postie replied with a chuckle. “But this one is because me and Rainbow are leaving town for the next week. Nothing big, but I’d really like it if you were there.”

Ditzy smiled at the stallion’s thoughtfulness. “Sure. Not like anything bad can happen.”

Two days after Postie had received the letter was the day of the party, held in Sugarcube Corner. All of Rainbow’s friends, along with Big Macintosh and Ditzy, were there. Postie realised then that he had to go and make a few friends that were also stallions. Being around so many mares had to be problematic in the long run, he thought.

“Ahem.” He turned to see who was clearing their throat behind him. Applejack stood there, wearing the awkward expression worn by anypony doing something they would rather not.

“Oh. Hey, Applejack,” Postie replied awkwardly, not sure why the farmer had approached him. “Uhh...”

“Ah wanna say sorry,” she said, pawing at the ground nervously. “It was wrong of me to stay angry as long Ah did.”

“Applejack, you have no reason to apologise. You have every right to be angry. We had no right to do what we did where we did, and I am sorry.” He glanced over at Rainbow, who was getting herself a cup of punch. “I’m pretty sure Rainbow is too, even if she doesn’t actually say it.”

“She can be just as stubborn as me, sometimes,” Applejack commented. “So, yer not upset that it took this long for me to say anythin’?”

“A bit, yeah,” Postie admitted. “But hey, you did, and that’s all that matters.”

“Phew. Ah’m glad we cleared that up.”

“Cleared what up?” They both turned to see Rarity standing nearby, a small cup of punch levitating next to her.

“Oh, just a little argument, nothing serious,” Postie replied, waving the unicorn off.

Applejack waited until Rarity was out of earshot before giving the mailpony a confused look. “She doesn’t know?”

“When Applebloom ran off to find you, we got Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell to Pinkie Pie Swear not to tell anypony that they saw us. I do not want to know what Rarity would do to me.” The pegasus shuddered. “I do not want to be a gelding...”

Applejack shook her head and chuckled at that. “Ah don’t think she’d do anythin’ like that, Postie.”

“Maybe, but I don’t want to risk it.” He glanced nervously at Rarity. “Unicorns kinda scare me,” he admitted as Applejack walked off, rolling her eyes.

Rainbow was about to drink her cup of punch when somepony called her name. She turned and saw Twilight standing behind her, a plate with cupcakes hovering next to her. “Oh hey, Twilight.”

“Hey Rainbow,” the unicorn replied, wearing a dazed smile and stumbling a little.

“Are you okay?” the pegasus asked, noting her friend’s odd behaviour.

“I’m fiiiine!” Twilight said a little too happily, waving her hoof and leaning closer to Rainbow. “This party is good!”

“Uhh, yeah,” Rainbow answered carefully. She knew something was up with her friend, but she didn’t know what. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I said I’m fiiine.” Twilight hiccuped and turned tail. “I’m gonna get some more punch.” Rainbow simply watched as the unicorn staggered back to the food table.

Postie, who had just finished talking with Ditzy about what would happen with his pay, had seen this entire display and went up to his fillyfriend. “What’s up with her?”

“I have no idea.” Rainbow took a sip of her punch and her eyes went wide. “Okay, now I do,” she said as she swallowed.

“Huh?”

“Take a sip.” Postie took her cup warily and took a small sip. He resisted the urge to spit his mouthful back in. “Y’see?” Rainbow asked, not noticing.

“I can taste alcohol,” Postie said quietly as he passed the cup back. His last experience with alcohol had not been particularly pleasant. He had failed to take into account the change in body mass and metabolism, resulting in him drinking as much as he would have been able to as a human. The end result had been a mild case of alcohol poisoning and three days in Ponyville’s clinic getting detoxified. After that he hadn’t touched a drop.

“So somepony spiked the punch...” Rainbow muttered, putting her cup down. “Who?”

“What are you guys talking about!?” Both pegasi jumped as Pinkie Pie appeared in the space between them, despite there not being enough space for her to actually appear. Three months had proven more than enough time for Postie to get used to the pink mare’s shenanigans, so his only reaction was to stare at her, as was Rainbow’s.

“Haven’t you ever heard of personal space?” Postie asked.

“We think somepony went and spiked the punch,” Rainbow said, pointing at the cup on the floor.

“Oh, silly Dashie! You can’t spike punch if it was like that to start with!”

“Wait,” Postie said, raising a hoof. “You brought out alcoholic punch the night before we both have to fly all day?”

“Do you have any idea how bad it is to fly with a hangover?” Rainbow asked.

“Well... No, but... Well, it’s not much of a party without something!” Pinkie exclaimed in an attempt at justification.

“Pinkie, just... get us something that isn’t alcoholic for us to drink,” Postie said as he resisted the very strong urge to face-hoof.

“That... might be a problem,” Pinkie replied, wearing a sheepish grin.

“Why?” Rainbow asked suspiciously.

“Everything has alcohol in it.”

“What?”

“Everything?”

“Yep!”

“But...” Postie was speechless.

“The cupcakes?”

“In the frosting.”

“The cake?”

“In the cream.”

“The biscuits?” Postie asked, scared at what the answer would be.

“Even the water?”

“What? That’s not water, that’s vodka.”

“Hang on,” Rainbow said. “You broke a Pinkie Pie Swear!”

“No I didn’t! I swore to not drink any! You never said anything about eating it!” Pinkie bounced off merrily as both pegasi just stared in dumb shock. “Now I’m gonna get drunk off jelly doughnuts!”

It took a moment for the pair to find their voices. “Did... did we just get outsmarted by Pinkie Pie?” Postie asked, still not sure if what had happened actually had happened.

“I think so,” Rainbow replied. Before their conversation could go any further there was a loud whooping from the center of the room. The both spun around to see Twilight standing on a table on her rear legs before losing balance and falling off. This was met by a chorus of laughter by most of the other ponies. Rarity had face-hoofed, Ditzy Doo was shaking her head and Fluttershy and Big Macintosh were nowhere to be seen.

“Let’s go before this gets worse,” Postie whispered as Twilight conjured a pole into existence and began to dance around it.

Rainbow pulled him towards the door and they managed to get out without being noticed. At least, they weren’t noticed by the ponies inside. Just outside the building, next to the door and half-hidden by the night and a bush were Big Macintosh and Fluttershy, the dainty pegasus mare passionately locked in a tight embrace with the giant farm-pony stallion. There was a moment of silence as thay all stared at each other before Postie pushed Rainbow away and nodded at the pair with a simple “Carry on.”

Rainbow waited until they were out of earshot. “Was Fluttershy - ”

“Yep.”

“And Big Macin - ”

“Uh-huh.”

“And they were - ”

“You saw it,” Postie replied.

There was a brief silence. “I just never thought that those two would - ”

“Same here,” Postie replied. “But they’ve been seeing each other for a bit now.”

“I always knew Fluttershy had a thing for Big Macintosh.” Rainbow was smiling. “Still can’t believe she managed to ask him out.”

“Actually, it was the other way around,” Postie clarified. “He asked her out.”

“Really? How do you know all this?”

“They... asked me to keep all this a secret,” the stallion replied, a hint of aloofness in his tone.

“Really?” Rainbow asked, disbelieving. “They trusted you with a secret like this?”

“Hey, I know when to keep my mouth shut,” Postie shot back before catching the grin she was wearing. “Yes, ha ha, very funny, are you done?”

“Yeah. Let’s get to bed,” Rainbow said as she spread her wings. “We have to be out of Ponyville just after sunrise tomorrow.”

Author's Notes:

I would like to thank my partner-in-crime Beese for suggesting that Pinkie Pie shift into maximum overtroll.

Twilight's shenanigans were of my devising.

And I whole-heartedly support the FlutterMac ship.

The Morning After + Just Out Of Town

When Twilight woke up the next morning, she immediately wished that she hadn’t. Her first hangover had been bad enough but this... what she was experiencing at that moment was some exotic flavour of pain that the greatest torturers would give up their racks for. Aside from the feeling of her horn being forced into her brain, her eyes felt like they had been left out in the sun for six hours, her throat felt like she had swallowed a glass of broken glass and her legs may as well have been switched with logs.

She tried to pull a pillow over her head but encountered resistance in the form of something weighing down on it. She rolled over as slowly as she could, which still proved too fast for her hangover-affected brain, and failed to realise the significance of the pony currently sharing her bed.

It was only after ten seconds of staring at this pony that she recognized both who it was and what their presence most likely represented. She let out a startled squawk that woke up this pony, who rolled over and met her eyes. After a few moments, Twilight’s bed-partner managed to speak. “Twilight?” Rarity croaked. “Why are you in my bed?”

The purple unicorn raised her head to see that, yes, she was indeed in Rarity’s bed and, by extension, Rarity’s house. “I don’t know,” she responded, her voice just as croaky. “I can guess...”

It took but a moment for what she was saying to penetrate Rarity’s hungover thought processes. “You mean we - ?” Twilight nodded. “But but I don’t remember anything!”

“Neither do I, but I can’t think of any other reason we’re in the same bed.” Twilight tried to stand but the pain that shot through her head ended all thoughts of continuing that course of action. “Ooowww...” she moaned.

Applejack pulled her head out of the bucket of water and shook it vigorously. It wasn’t much, but it helped with her hangover. “What was Pinkie Pie thinkin’?” she muttered as she toweled herself off. She trotted off, going to wake her older brother so they could get a start on the chores that had to be done around the farm.

The Apple family were among the hardiest ponies in Equestria. That meant that they were able to bounce back from almost anything with ease. The hangover would have been crippling to any other earth pony, but to Applejack it was simply a minor inconvenience. She did move a bit slower that morning that she was accustomed to, but that was the extent of its impact.

She got to her brother’s room and started banging on the door. “Hey! Big Macintosh! Up and at’em! We got work ta do!” After a few moments she opened the door with the intention of shaking her brother awake. “Get movin’ ya dozy -”

The reason she didn’t finish her yelling was what she saw. In the bed was her brother, but there was also another pony. The soft pink mane and butter yellow coat were recognizable anywhere. It took a moment for the farmer to find her voice. “What in tarnation is goin’ on?” she asked, Big Macintosh and Fluttershy blushing profusely, looking anywhere but at Applejack. “Why is Fluttershy in yer bed?” Applejack asked redundantly, already knowing the answer.

“Ow, my wings,” Rainbow groaned as she landed heavily.

Postie alighted next to her with a thud. “You too?”

“I’m getting out of shape,” she said as she dug her head into her saddlebags. “Probably something to do with you.”

“Hey, it’s your idea to stay in bed for so long,” Postie retorted. “Though that is good exercise.”

“Yeah, but the wrong kind,” Rainbow replied. She pulled her head out, a bottle grasped in her mouth. She pulled off the lid and gulped down half the bottle before passing it to Postie. As he emptied it, she looked at the horizon. “We can probably walk the rest of the way. Shouldn’t take more than half an hour.”

The stallion passed the empty bottle back and folded his aching wings. “Well, what are we waiting for?”

The Equestria-Aquileon border was to the north, past Canterlot and the city of Stalliongrad. It had taken a full day’s flight from Ponyville without rest, and the further north the pegasi flew the colder they found the weather becoming. Of course, part of being a pegasus was the fact that they could quite comfortably live in the higher altitudes where temperatures were often low. Even though it was only early autumn, they had caught sight of a small amount of snowfall, though it was typically confined to small areas and with barely enough mass to construct a halfway-decent snowpony.

From what they had seen of Hippogriff from a distance, it was a small town, smaller than Ponyville. The buildings weren’t as colourful or stylized as Ponyville’s either, a result of the influence of griffons’ more practical, subdued design aesthetics. At first glance, Hippogriff seemed like a dreary, uninviting place. As they approached, though, the sounds of life drifted towards them. Then a griffon flew overhead, carrying what looked like a bag in its talons. He (Rainbow had explained to Postie how to tell them apart) had, just like every griffon, the rear half of a lion and the front half of an eagle. The eagle portion was incredibly muscular, and the beak was quite large and dangerous-looking, as were his talons. The rear end was just as threatening, with sharp claws and muscles that seemed to rival those of Big Macintosh’s.

As the tercel flew into the distance, Rainbow and Postie noticed what seemed to be a pony atop a small hill, cursing loudly. They couldn’t catch the words, but judging by the tone the pony was far from happy. “What’s his problem?” Rainbow asked.

Postie gave her a look. “You expect me to know?” he asked. “I’ve been here with you the whole time. How am I meant to know?”

Rainbow was not amused by his attitude. She had just spent a whole day flying and the exhaustion in her body, her wings in particular, was not doing her any favours. She smacked the stallion in the back of the head with a wing. “Let’s just get over there and see what’s wrong with him.”

As they got closer, they could see that it was a pegasus, a rather well-built one at that. His coat was the same colour as an angry storm cloud, and his mane and tail was a mix of electric blue and bright yellow and, somehow, the shape of a stylized lightning bolt. Postie had long since given up trying to understand in any real depth how Equestria worked. “Complete waste of bits...” they heard him mutter.

“Uh, are you okay?” Postie asked, having gotten to him first..

The stallion looked up, startled by his sudden audience. “AH! Don’t sneak up like that!” Up close, he was quite large, muscular and intimidating. Postie would have been a little scared if it weren’t for the most ridiculous little mustache he had ever seen. The stranger blinked when he saw Rainbow Dash crest the hill. “You got here quick,” he commented.

Rainbow blinked as well before cracking into a wide smile. “Dad!” she cried as she rushed in for a tackle-hug.

The stallion began to laugh. “You need to visit us more often, Dashie. Your mother worries.”

Rainbow snorted as she stood on all fours again. The size difference was quite incredible. Postie stood maybe half a head taller than Rainbow, while her father stood a little taller than Big Macintosh. “Postie, this is my father, Thunderhead. Dad, this is my coltfriend, Post Haste.”

Postie gulped, finding himself in a truly foreign situation. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.”

Thunderhead started laughing as Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Do I look like one of the Princess’ guards to you? None of that ‘sir’ stuff, you got that?”

“Right, sorry.”

“Come on,” Thunderhead said as he slipped a cord with a small box attached to it around his neck, presumably the source of his earlier complaints.

“Dad, what is with that mustache?” Rainbow asked as the group made their way to the town of Hippogriff. “You look ridiculous.”

“I do not!” Thunderhead answered loudly, his pride hurt.

Author's Notes:

A shorter chapter because I don't want this to stagnate and become forgotten. I'm a little paranoid like that. Also, sorry for the massive delay.

“Tercel” is the proper word used for referring to a male falcon or peregrine, but I think I can make it work here. Unless someone can tell me what word they use to refer to male eagles?

Mother Of...

Post Haste watched in amusement as Rainbow Dash and Thunderhead argued for the ten minutes it took for them to get to Hippogriff. It was probably wrong to find so much amusement in the situation, but the fact that their argument was over a moustache, of all things, just made it even funnier.

“Postie!” Rainbow yelled, making the stallion jump.

“Wha-huh?” he asked, now noticing that both Rainbow and her father were staring at him.

“What do you think?” Thunderhead asked, looking at the younger stallion with a raised eyebrow.

“About what?” Postie asked, already knowing what the response would be.

“Dad’s moustache!” Rainbow replied loudly. “It looks ridiculous!”

“No it doesn’t!” Thunderhead’s response was just as loud. “It looks sophisticated,” he said in a way that implied that he didn’t know what real sophistication actually was.

Post Haste now faced a dilemma: Agree with his fillyfriend and possibly lose favour with her father, or agree with her father and risk angering his fillyfriend. After a few seconds, he decided that honesty was the best policy and took a deep breath. “Thunderhead,” he started, knowing the storm-grey pegasus would prefer being addressed that way, “without that... thing on your face, you’d look scarier than an angry manticore. With it, though, it’s like somepony took that manticore, shaved off its mane and stuck it in a dress. Completely ridiculous,” he finished, the last two words coming out louder than he had intended.

Rainbow stared at him, shocked at just how much he had said, along with what he had said. Thunderhead was just as shocked, and simply stared. Eventually, he managed to find his tongue. “A manticore in a... A manticore in a...”

Postie took a few steps back when he saw that he was shaking. The mailpony began to panic. Oh crap, he’s angry. Oh no, oh no, oh no...

“BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Thunderhead suddenly let out a loud, booming laugh. Postie and Rainbow stared, both having taken wing in shock. “A manticore in a... hahaha... in a...” After close to a minute Thunderhead managed to calm himself down enough to string together a coherent sentence. “That... that was the funniest thing I’ve heard in years,” he said, wiping a tear from his eye.

Rainbow and Postie glanced at each other. “It wasn’t that funny,” the stallion said carefully, not entirely sure what else to say.

“Don’t put yourself down, kid. That was good.” Thunderhead took a deep breath and sighed. It was only then that they noticed the number of weird stares they were getting, from pony and griffon alike. “We better go,” the older stallion said, looking around awkwardly. He led the small group away from the curious stares.

“Why did you move to Hippogriff?” Postie asked, hoping to fill the void that had arisen.

“The Weather Factory in Cloudsdale sent me out here to help supervise the weather. Because this is still a relatively new town, and the griffons usually work around the weather, I end up doing most of the work.” The storm-coloured stallion rolled his eyes. “I swear, they’re lazier than you, Dashie,” he said with a sly smile.

“Hey!” the rainbow mare replied indignantly. “I’m not lazy!”

“Rainbow, I see you napping away half the day all the time on my mail route,” Postie replied, unimpressed.

“If you didn’t keep me up half the night I wouldn’t need to -” Rainbow clapped a hoof to her mouth to cut herself off, having forgotten who she was around. She and the mailpony both turned a deep red.

“I don’t want to know,” was all Thunderhead said as he shook his head and continued walking.

The progressed in awkward silence until they stopped in front of a rather plain, uninteresting two-story house. “I think your mother is in for a nice little surprise,” Thunderhead said with a smile.

“How is mom, anyway?” Rainbow asked.

“Well -” he was cut off then the door was pulled open, revealing a pegasus mare, slightly shorter than Rainbow. Her mane was a very interesting shade of purple, almost identical to Rarity’s, though it lacked the styling and care the unicorn was infamous for. Her coat was almost the exact same colour as Rainbow’s was. On her flank was a spotlight, though that didn’t really do much to tell Postie what her talent was.

“Thunderhead!” She sounded angry. “You said you were going to be home half an hour ago!”

“She’s perfectly fine,” Thunderhead said, looking at the pair who were out of view to the occupant.

“Who are you talking to?” The purple-maned pegasus poked her head out and caught sight of Rainbow Dash wearing great big grin and Post Haste, smiling awkwardly. “Rainbow!”

“Hey mom!” She was pulled into a hug as the smaller pegasus leapt at her.

“Oh, Rainbow!” her mother said as she kissed her on the cheek. Postie watched this display of love with a sad smile. “I’m so glad you could come! A little warning might have been nice,” the mare said.

“Postie, this is my mother Tranquil Sky,” Rainbow said, still wrapped in her mother’s forelegs.

“Quite handsome, isn’t he?” Tranquil Sky said teasingly as she looked Postie up and down.

“M-mom!” Rainbow exclaimed, blushing in embarrassment. The stallion, though, was too preoccupied with his thoughts to immediately realise what Tranquil Sky had said.

“Oh, thanks,” Postie said, thinking that the older mare had been completely serious. He failed to notice Rainbow facehoof and shake her head and Thunderhead give him an incredulous look. After a few seconds he realised the intent behind Tranquil’s words. “I can’t believe I just did that...” he muttered as his hoof met his face.

Tranquil wore a smile as she let go of her daughter. "I suppose you can rely on him to deliver, can't you?" she asked as she led them all into the house.

Rainbow and Postie stared at her in mild disgust. “Mom, that is really creepy,” was all that Rainbow could manage.

“So, what’s for dinner?” Thunderhead asked, either oblivious or uncaring towards his wife’s behaviour.

“I was thinking just a simple salad,” Tranquil said, “but I don’t have enough in the house for four ponies, especially a stallion that can keep up with Rainbow.”

Postie paused for a moment, trying to identify any possible traps that had been laid. There was the obvious one, but he couldn’t be sure if it was accidental or not. “Well, sorry about that,” he said, confident that a simple apology couldn’t be taken out of context.

Tranquil let out a light snort in amusement. “And he’s polite! Where did you find this one?” she asked her daughter. “He much better than the colts you used to bring home.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Thanks for reminding me of that, mom,” she said bitterly. “Can we just get some food? We flew non-stop to get here.”

“You always were pushing yourself too hard,” the violet-maned pegasus said, shaking her head.

“No pain, no gain,” was Thunderhead’s contribution to the conversation. “Let’s go, there’s a nice place run by a griffon I know.”

“Can we get rid of this stuff first?” Rainbow asked, gesturing to the saddlebags that she and Postie were still wearing.

“You can have the spare room upstairs,” Tranquil said. “The bed should be big enough.” There was something in her tone that seemed to suggest that there was a reason she knew.

“Thanks,” Postie said as he ascended the stairs, keeping an eye on the older mare. Rainbow was close behind.

“Your mother is a pervert,” the mailpony blurted out when they were out of earshot.

“You think I don’t know? I had to grow up with that,” Rainbow retorted. “I have no idea why she does that, either.” She pushed open the door and blinked. “Woah.”

To say the bed was large would be a practice in understatement. It could have easily held five ponies and still leave room to spare. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much else in the room itself, the bed taking up almost all the floorspace, leaving a gap barely three inches wide around the feather-filled monstrosity.

“Well this is overkill,” Postie said.

“Yeah,” Ranbow said, stepping onto the mattress. She bounced on it a few times. “It’s good,” she said as she sprung up higher and higher. “Give it a shot.”

Postie jumped on as well and let out a yelp when he bounced. He let out a laugh as he landed. “Oh wow!” He bounced again, and again, and again, imitating Pinkie Pie. Unfortunately, he failed to realise that the ceiling was, compared to what he was used to, incredibly low. It wasn’t long before he slammed into it with a crunch. “Oh sweet Celestia!” he yelled out as he fell into a heap, clutching his head.

“Postie!” Rainbow yelled out, rushing to her coltfriend. She rolled him over onto his back and stood over him, trying to get a look at where he had hit himself. “Are you okay?”

“I hope you two are ready to -” The air was filled with a deep, uneasy silence as Thunderhead stood at the doorway, surveying the scene within. Both younger ponies were suddenly hit with realisation as to just how compromising their position seemed.

They stared at each other for a few moments before Post Haste broke the silence. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

Author's Notes:

Another short chapter.

Again, sorry for the delay. I blame that on the fact it took me and a mate a whole day to come up with colours and name for Rainbow's mum.

And I hope you Americans appreciate me going out of my way to use your stupid American spelling for 'mom'!

Double Dinner Date

It took quite some time for Thunderhead to calm down, even after he had been told that it had all been a great misunderstanding. He would have ranted at the pair for some time had Tranquil Sky not intervened and whispered something into his ear. Postie and Rainbow couldn’t hear it, but whatever had been said was enough to make the stallion grumble and walk off. When Rainbow asked what she had said, all Tranquil said was “Your father wouldn’t want me telling you.” That was enough to make Post Haste cringe as he went through each and every possible negative situation that could suggest.

The four pegasi soon found themselves outside a small building. It was undoubtedly a restaurant of some kind, evidenced by the smell of cooking food and the nearby sign that proclaimed it catered to both pony and griffon diets. However, there was no-one, pony or griffon, at any of the tables.

“Hey! Thunder!” a griffon tercel wearing an apron and with red streaks in his facial feathers called out. Postie supposed that, to them, it was similar to styling one’s mane.

“This is the griffon I was talking about,” Thunderhead whispered to the others. “Maxwell!” he called out. “Got any spare tables?”

“I might, I might” the griffon said as he stepped outside, looking at his company. “Ah, Missus Tranquil Sky! You look as beautiful as ever,” he said with a polite bow.

“Why thank you,” Tranquil replied with a titter, reminding Postie a lot of Rarity.

“And who are these two?” the griffon asked, turning his attention to Rainbow Dash and Post Haste.

“I told you about my daughter, Rainbow Dash.”

“Er, hi,” Rainbow replied awkwardly.

“Ah, the tomcolt.”

“Tomcolt?” Rainbow asked angrily, turning to her father.

“No point denying the truth,” Thunderhead said wearily, as though he’d had this argument before. Rainbow let out a groan in response. Tranquil giggled.

“So who’s he?” Maxwell the griffon asked, his beak seemingly twisted into something resembling a smile.

“Rainbow brought her coltfriend home,” Tranquil Sky answered.

“Well, good luck, kid,” Maxwell said with a noticeable trace of smugness. “Thunder isn’t exactly the easiest pony to impress.”

“I’d say he’s done a good job so far,” Tranquil answered. “Smart, polite, handsome,” directing a leer at the mailpony. Post Haste noticed that and took a step back, giving the older mare a strange look.

“You might wanna watch out, Thunder,” Maxwell said with a laugh. “The young colt’s gonna steal your wife.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Thunderhead replied airily. “Right?” he asked Postie, keeping his voice cordial.

“Y-you don’t have to worry about that,” Postie replied nervously. He realised that he had been wrong about the moustache. By making him seem less threatening, it made the moments the older stallion decided to be scary even more terrifying.

“Dad!” Rainbow said angrily.

“You’re scaring the poor guy,” Maxwell said with another laugh.

“That was uncalled for!” Tranquil said, upset with her husband’s behaviour. “Apologise!”

“What for?” Thunderhead asked, looking between the two mares, apparently oblivious to his actions.

“All right, air-head,” Maxwell replied as he turned tail. “You’re lucky, it should be a quiet night tonight. Pick a table, I’ll send someone over to take your order.”

The restaurant was very small, closer in size to a cafe. There were five wooden tables, two meant for a group of four and the other three with only two chairs. The wallpaper was very simple and made the whole place feel very calming.

As they made their way to one of the tables, Tranquil slapped Thunderhead in the back of the head with a wing. “What is wrong with you?” she hissed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Threatening Rainbow’s coltfriend like that! He’s been a complete gentlecolt the whole time, and you had to go make a complete foal of yourself by trying to act like some idiot barely out of flight school!” she replied in a low, menacing voice. “I don’t know why I put up with you...”

“Because you can’t resist my body,” Thunderhead answered with a smug smile as they arrived at a table for four.

“You are so immature sometimes,” Tranquil muttered.

As they sat down, Rainbow and Postie couldn’t help but share a raised eyebrow, both noticing how the interactions they had just seen ran a close parallel to their own relationship. The main difference was that Postie usually ended up being the voice of reason.

Before any of them could open their mouths to continue the conversation, a small griffon hen with pink and gold highlights was at their table.

“Hi!” she said, her bubbly voice a little high-pitched. For some reason, Postie couldn’t help but think that she was an adolescent.

“Hello Maria,” Thunderhead replied. “I didn’t know your father had you helping in here.”

“Oh, hello Mister Thunderhead! I didn’t think I’d see you until weather duty tomorrow.”

“I’m just here for dinner with the family,” he replied with a wave of his hoof. “And I don’t think Maxwell will be too happy with you talking to us instead of doing your job.”

“If you’re the only customers we get then dad can’t really complain,” Maria replied with a snort. “Still, I guess you’re right. Do you know what you want?”

“Not yet, no. We could use something to drink though. You have any apple cider?”

“Came from Appleloosa last week,” she said. “Cost a lot too, if the way dad was complaining is anything to go by.”

“Getting it sent out this far would be expensive,” Thunderhead mused. “I’ll take some of that.”

“I’ll have some too. Probably won’t be as good as the stuff from Sweet Apple Acres,” Rainbow said with what could be interpreted as a cruel smile.

“I’d love some wine if you have any,” Tranquil Sky said.

“Sorry, ma’am, we don’t,” Maria said apologetically.

“That’s okay, dear. I’ll just have some water then.”

“I’ll have water too, thanks,” Postie chipped in.

“Okay then!” Maria said happily as she trotted back into the kitchen.

“What’s the matter, can’t handle the strong stuff?” Thunderhead asked with a rather mean chuckle.

“Don’t be so mean!” Tranquil said angrily, reaching over and smacking the stallion in the mouth. “I’m sure he has a reason.”

“It’s really embarrassing,” Postie said, hanging his head.

“Ah, it can’t be that bad,” Thunderhead said airily as he rubbed at where his wife had struck him.

“You ever been in a drinking contest with an earth pony before?”

“No.”

“Well, don’t.”

It wasn’t the truth, but it was close enough that it couldn’t really be considered a lie. After all, he had been challenged by Applejack to see if he could drink as much as he could before he had been transformed by Princess Luna. The immediate result had been a rather horrible mess on the porch of the Apple Family house and a trip to Ponyville’s clinic.

“What happened?” Tranquil asked, sounding worried.

“Alcohol poisoning,” Rainbow said. “It wasn’t pretty.”

Thunderhead just stared at Postie as their drinks arrived, Maria carrying them on a tray balanced on her back between her wings. “Two mugs of cider and two glasses of water! Do you know what you want to eat yet?”

“Thanks, Maria. And no, not yet.”

“We’ll call you when we’ve decided, okay dear?”

“Okay!” With that the griffon pranced off happily.

Thunderhead continued to stare at Postie long enough for the younger stallion to start feeling incredibly uncomfortable. He was about to excuse himself from the table when Thunderhead spoke up. “That is either the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard a pony do, or the bravest. I’m still not sure,” he said as he took a sip of his cider. After he swallowed his mouthful, he spoke up again. “Yeah, definitely the stupidest.”

“Thunder!” Tranquil replied, upset. “How can you be so mean to the poor dear.”

“No, I admit, it was pretty stupid,” Postie said with a laugh.

That first night amongst Rainbow’s family passed with a good deal of laughter. Their meals didn’t last long, but they stayed long after Celestia’s sun had set. When they did leave, it was very late and they were all desperate for sleep. With little more than a simple “Good night” they went to their bedrooms. Postie and Rainbow, still suffering fatigue from their long flight, fell asleep almost immediately. The great monstrosity of a bed proved to be more comfortable than any cloud.

Author's Notes:

Urgh, that ending feels so forced. I just want to get to the next part already!

Morning...

WARNING

This chapter is somewhat more sexual in places that any of the previous ones. If you don’t want that kind of thing, I suggest avoiding the first paragraph.

“If you two want breakfast, you should - Oh! Oh my!”

Post Haste was forced from his dreamless sleep at the sound of the unpleasantly shrill voice of Tranquil Sky. It took a moment for his eyes to focus on the mare, who was wide-eyed and holding a hoof to her mouth in alarm. He followed her gaze and was horrified to discover that she was gazing upon one of the most unfortunate things that could afflict any warm-blooded male when they woke up. He turned a deep red. “Sweet merciful Luna, I-I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed, hurriedly pulling a blanket over his stallionhood.

“Oh no, not at all!” Tranquil said, giggling behind her hoof. “I knew you were handsome, but I had no idea you were such a stud!”

The presence of what sounded like admiration was more than a little disturbing. “Uhh... I’ll just wake up Rainbow now...” He leaned over and shook his fillyfriend with a free hoof.

“Urgh... Oh hey, mom.” Rainbow rubbed her eyes before getting onto all fours and stretching. “Postie?” she asked when she noticed what he was doing. “Why are you...” She turned to look at her mother, who was still grinning, before looking back to the positioning of the blanket. Then, things clicked. “Mom, what is wrong with you?” she asked in disgust.

“What? I’m not allowed to look?” she asked innocently. Ignoring the venomous glare from her daughter, she went on. “Anywhere, there are haycakes if you want them. You’d better hurry, your father has an appetite.” With that she left, a definite spring in her step.

Postie gawked at the space the older mare had just vacated. “I know I’m just repeating myself but... Your mother is a pervert.”

“I think she’s gotten worse,” Rainbow said quietly, as though that were something that simply wasn’t possible. “I’m gonna get breakfast.” She got to the door before turning around, noticing she hadn’t been followed. “You coming?”

Postie still sat awkwardly with the blanket covering a certain part of his anatomy. “You go ahead,” he said quietly, still blushing. “I’m, uh, gonna need some time.”

The mare rolled her eyes. “Fine. But don’t expect me to save you any food.”

“I’ve been living with you for months, Rainbow, I know that’s not happening.” As Rainbow left the room, he looked down at the blanket. More accurately, he looked down at what it was covering. “Why?” he asked angrily, not caring that there would be no response.

By the time Postie was able to leave the room while keeping his dignity intact, there was no sign of Rainbow Dash and Thunderhead. Tranquil Sky was still there, doing the dishes that had been left behind. “Where is everypony?” the mailpony asked, looking around.

“Rainbow went with Thunder. She said you wouldn’t mind,” Tranquil answered, not looking up from what she was doing.

“Okay.” He didn’t mind. Rainbow had said that it had been a while since she had last seen her parents, and did seem to get along with her father the best. Then he felt a little sad. It didn’t last long, but it was enough for his expression to change briefly. He thought that it had passed unnoticed, but when he turned to Tranquil again, the older mare was wearing a look of concern.

“Are you okay, dear?” she asked, drying her hooves on a small rag.

“Hm? Oh I’m fine, just a little hungry.” Postie hastily went over to a cupboard and began looking for something to eat, trying to keep his face hidden. He still wasn’t comfortable around the older mare, and what had happened earlier had only made things even more awkward than they had been.

“I can tell that something is troubling you, dear.” Tranquil was speaking with a tone of motherly concern. That alone was almost enough to break through the wall he had built over the past three years. “It can’t be good for you, keeping it bottled up.”

Postie found what he was looking for, a small box filled with cereal. A quick inspection of the box revealed it to be something called ‘Apple Crunch,’ not that he especially cared. Hunger did not make for a picky eater. “Where are the bowls?” he asked, ignoring what the mare had been saying.

That was the wrong decision. Tranquil Sky was used to getting the stubborn filly Rainbow Dash had been to talk. Bribery, extortion, trickery, coercion, no matter the method she had rarely failed. Though it had been many years, she knew she was more than capable of doing this. With a smile and narrowed eyes, she set about this task. “Second shelf from the top,” she answered calmly. The stallion found what he was looking for and pulled a bowl from the cupboard, rearing up to better reach it. Despite herself, Tranquil couldn’t help but take a quick look at his flank. She had to admit, her daughter had found a good one.

Postie put the bowl on the table and poured some cereal in, oblivious to Tranquil’s plans and thoughts. He stuck his muzzle in and swallowed a few mouthfuls before looking up. He started wishing he hadn’t, greeted by Tranquil sitting on the other side of the table with a calm expression. “Would you like some tea?” she asked.

“Uh, sure,” Postie answered uneasily. He wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted, but he couldn’t shake the impending sense of doom.

They sat there in silence for some time, Postie eating his breakfast and Tranquil waiting for the kettle to boil on the stove. After two bowls and what felt like an eternity, but in reality was closer to about three minutes, the kettle came to a boil, whistling loudly. Postie poured himself a third bowl of cereal as Tranquil prepared the tea.

“Rainbow didn’t tell us much about you, you know,” Tranquil said as she passed Postie a small cup. “Apart from you being a mailpony, anyway.”

“Not much to say. My mother was a mailmare herself in Trottingham,” he said as he swallowed his mouthful. The story he was giving Tranquil was one that he had rehearsed several times with Rainbow. There were several Trottinghams in Equestria, and being vague meant that there was no way anypony could trace him. “Didn’t have many friends, but I the ones I did were great. Got my cutie mark when mom took me to work one day and I started helping.” He let out a chuckle. “Didn’t even notice it until she took me home.” More lies, but he knew that they were convincing ones. Whether they were convincing enough was another matter.

As the young stallion took a sip of his tea, Tranquil Sky thought over what he had said. It certainly seemed sincere enough, but it had been so vague that she couldn’t be sure. He hadn’t said anything in detail about his mother, there was no mention at all of his father, his schooling or anything else he should have gone through. “What’s your mother like?” she asked, unaware of just how painful this topic would be.

Postie made a show of swallowing his tea. “She... she was great,” he said hesitantly. “Always there for me, patched me up when I fell... A bit over-protective, but I was all she had. Can’t say I blame her.”

“All she...” Tranquil blinked. The use of past tense was not something she had missed. “Did something happen between you two?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“It really can’t be healthy, bottling it - ”

“I said I don’t want to talk about this,” he repeated, the harshness in his voice intensifying. The rather sudden change in his demeanour was surprising to Tranquil. His sudden aggressiveness was disconcerting, and she leaned back slightly.

“I - I’m sorry.”

Author’s Notes:

No I do not know how the hell Tranquil Sky poured the tea. I just write this.

The end of this chapter is so open-ended because I both have no idea how to end it and where to go next. I also had a punchline of sorts involving Rainbow Dash and Thunderhead, but that’ll have to wait...

And again, your stupid American spelling.

All In The Past

Tranquil sat at the table, the cup of tea in between her hooves long since cold. Her expression was one of immense confusion, sadness and hurt. She had just wanted to get to know him better. She knew that she had touched a nerve, and wanted nothing more than to apologise. But when she had gone upstairs to do so, she had heard crying. She looked up when she heard a commotion from the front of the house.

“I can’t believe you asked me that!”

“It was a perfectly reasonable question.”

The mare sighed at the sound of her husband and daughter arguing.

“Maybe if we weren’t out in public!” Rainbow Dash yelled angrily. “Hey mom,” she said as she entered the kitchen. “What happened?”

Is it that obvious? Tranquil wondered to herself. “Your... your coltfriend locked himself in your room.”

“What?” Thunderhead stepped into the kitchen. “Did you do something?”

“I don’t know,” Tranquil moaned. “I just wanted to get him to open up, to tell me about himself. When I asked him about his mother - ”

“Wait,” Rainbow said suddenly, cutting her mother off. “You asked him about his mother?” she asked, dreading the answer.

“Yes. Did... did something happen between them?”

Rainbow sighed. “It’s not something he likes to talk about. It took him five weeks before he told me.” She remembered how hard it had been for him. How deeply he wanted to keep that part of his life a secret, a burden only for him to bear. “I need to talk to him.”

As their daughter disappeared upstairs, Tranquil turned to Thunderhead. “Why was she so upset before?”

“I asked her if they’re making sure to practise safe sex,” the stallion replied hesitantly.

The violet-maned pegasus stared at the storm-grey stallion in shock. “And you asked her that in public?” she asked, unbelieving of her husband’s apparent stupidity.

Rainbow Dash eased open the door to the bedroom, poking her head in. “Postie?” she asked quietly. “Are you okay?”

She couldn’t see much in the gloom, but she didn’t need to. There, plain as day, in the middle of the huge mattress, lay her coltfriend. His eyes were red and puffy, his breathing was irregular, his face was stained with tears and his ears were plastered to his head. He didn’t answer, instead continuing to sob.

Rainbow hesitated before going over and laying next to him, pulling him close with a wing. She didn’t know what to say in this situation, simply letting him cry into her mane.

“I miss her,” the stallion sobbed. “I-It’s been three years and I still miss her.” Rainbow responded by making a series of soothing noises, unsure what to say. “I-I should have gotten over this by now. I shouldn’t be - ”

“Look at me,” Rainbow said suddenly. Postie pulled away slightly to look into her eyes. “Don’t ever let me hear you saying anything like that ever again. You are not weak, you are not pathetic, and you are not stupid.” Her voice was harsh, but her eyes were soft. She leaned over and kissed him. “Don’t you ever think that.”

The sobbing stopped, making Rainbow think that her coltfriend had managed to pull himself together. “You don’t know how lucky you are,” Postie said without warning. Rainbow simply raised an eyebrow, confused by his sudden statement. “No-one wanted to be my friend when I was growing up. You know why?” Before she could respond, he let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Because I didn’t have a dad. Just because...” He began to shake. “Just because I was different!” he managed to choke out.

Rainbow just pulled him tighter, hoping the contact would help.

“Mom cared for me, but she was never around when I needed it. She had to work two jobs to keep a roof over our heads. I’d wake up, and she’d be gone, working. Nothing but a note telling me not to forget my homework.” Postie’s tears had stopped flowing, but somehow that just made things worse. “She was only ever around on weekends, but all she did was sleep.”

Rainbow just lay there in silence, taking it all in. He had never gone into that much detail before, instead simply stating that his life hadn’t been easy before.

“When she wasn’t sleeping...” Post Haste took a deep breath. “You remember I said that my mother died of cancer, right?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow said quietly.

“That... wasn’t exactly true.” There was a lengthy pause, one that seemed to indicate that it wouldn’t end. “My mom... every night, she would drink herself to sleep. For more than fifteen years, she would do that. Eventually, she did get cancer. After she knew she was sick, she kept on drinking, though. One day, she mixed the alcohol with...” The stallion let out a shuddering breath as he tried, yet again, to hold back the tears. “She mixed them with sleeping pills. She didn’t wake up,” he finished, his voice barely above a hoarse whisper, the tears back in full force.

“Oh Postie...” Rainbow crooned. “I’m so sorry.” She pulled him closer, not even noticing how damp her mane and coat had become.

“I think... I think she wanted to do that for so long. That the only reason she didn’t was... well, me.” There was another uncomfortable pause. “She suffered for so long because of me. It’s all my fault...”

“That’s not true,” Rainbow said quietly, as reassuringly as she could. “It’s not your fault. Your mom just wanted you to turn out right.” She pecked him lightly on the cheek. “If she saw you now, she’d be so proud.”

“Do you really think that?”

“I know it.”

There was more silence, but this time it seemed more pleasant. The two pegasi just lay there, Rainbow’s presence doing wonders for the depressed stallion.

“Rainbow?” Postie asked, his voice a lot calmer.

“Yeah?”

“Could you just... stay here with me for a while? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“You need to ask? Of course I will.”

Author’s Notes:

Okay, I can’t help but worry that I’m laying the emotional stuff on WAY too heavy here. I know that HiEs (yes, this is the sequel to a HiE) usually have the human with a horrible past. I suppose even I couldn’t avoid that.

And yes, this chapter is really short, I know. Honestly, I can’t really figure out what else it needs, so any more words will just be padding for padding’s sake.

Breakfast

Postie couldn’t exactly remember what had happened. He vaguely recalled a conversation with Rainbow. He barely remembered that he had been a blubbering wreck. He could remember... He shot to all fours in the darkness, wide-eyed and panicked. He had told her. He had told her everything... and she had been there the whole time, comforting him, making him feel better. She had never left his side as he poured out all the pain he had been hiding for years.

He smiled as he lay back down again, only now noting how dark it was. He guessed it was some time in the early hours of the morning. He crawled closer to Rainbow, who had managed to sleep through his awakening. He closed his eyes as he rested his head on Rainbow, closing his eyes and waiting to fall asleep again. Try as he might, there was strange noise at the edge of his hearing that made it completely impossible. He glared at the shadows as he tried to identify it. Eventually, he realised that it was something he had heard before, the sound of... creaking bed springs. His dry-retched as he reluctantly came to the only possible conclusion.

Tranquil Sky was a little surprised to see Post Haste awake when she went down to the kitchen the next morning. For a given definition of ‘awake’, anyway. He was sitting at the table, face planted firmly on the table, a cup of black coffee steaming away gently next to him. As she got closer, she heard him mumbling something incomprehensible. “Are you okay, dear?” she asked carefully, still a little upset about what had happened yesterday.

“I’m awake, I’m awake!” the mailpony said, suddenly sitting straight and looking around. He noticed Tranquil looking at him. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay,” she said, smiling warmly. “Did you sleep well last night?”

“For a while. Then I woke up at some point and couldn’t get back to sleep.” As if to prove his point, he yawned. He took a sip of his coffee and pulled a face. “Wow that’s strong.”

“Would you like something to eat?” Tranquil asked, approaching the pantry.

“No, I’ll be - ” He was cut off by his stomach protesting his stupidity. “Yes please,” he muttered as he blushed.

As Tranquil set about mixing up the batter for haycakes, Rainbow stomped downstairs. “Hey mom,” she said, rubbing at her eyes. “You okay?” she asked Postie as she sat at the table.

“A lot better,” he replied, leaning over to nuzzle her.

“You two make a cute couple.” They both turned to see Tranquil looking at them with a warm smile.

“Mooooooooom,” Rainbow groaned, having turned a little red, as had her coltfriend. Tranquil turned away, smiling at having gotten her usually-brash daughter to show such a reaction. As she made the haycakes, she tried to make conversation. “Neither of you had dinner last night, did you?” In response, the stomachs of both the younger pegasi growled. At the same time.

“That was strange,” Postie commented as Tranquil laughed.

As she began to stir the batter, the older mare was suddenly interrupted. “Tranquil Sky, I... I wanna apologise.” She turned to see Postie looking at the ground, ashamed. “What I said, and how I reacted yesterday, it was out of line. I’m sorry.”

Tranquil looked at the stallion for a while before going over and giving him a hug. “Don’t worry about it, dear. I shouldn’t have pushed you.” She couldn’t help but smile when he hugged back. “If you ever want to tell me, though...” she added tentatively. She still wanted to know why he had reacted the way he had and her only option seemed to be patience.

“Mom, just leave it,” Rainbow said loudly, ruining the moment for all. “He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

Tranquil rolled her eyes as she went back to preparing breakfast. Before long a small stack of haycakes were sitting in front of Post Haste, whose mouth was watering. “Where are mine?” Rainbow asked demandingly.

“You’ll get yours in a minute,” Tranquil replied a little harshly. “Heaven forbid you make your own, you’d just ruin them and I’d have to make them for you anyway.” Rainbow groaned at this chastisement. “Maybe if you tried to learn how to cook you wouldn’t have to wait.”

“Not a good idea,” Postie replied through a mouthful of haycake. He swallowed before continuing. “Last time she tried to cook she - ”

“Postie!” Rainbow said loudly. “I thought you promised not to tell anypony about that kitchen fire!”

There was a brief pause as she realised what she had just said. Then there was another while her mother processed that. “But I thought you still lived in that cloud house,” Tranquil said hesitantly.

“Yep!” Postie said cheerfully.

“How did you do that?” Tranquil asked her daughter, shocked and confused by such an improbable event.

“I have no idea!” Rainbow replied. “And I thought you said you weren’t gonna bring that up!” she said angrily as she faced her coltfriend.

“It gets better,” Postie said, ignoring his fillyfriend’s frustrations. “She started that fire with a bottle of tomato juice, an onion and a spatula.”

Tranquil just stared at her daughter. Rainbow smacked Postie in the back of the head, sending him face-first into his breakfast. Postie continued to eat, seemingly unaware of this distraction. “Rainbow!” Tranquil said loudly. “Don’t you hit him!”

“But mom! He said he wouldn’t tell anypony about that!” They both turned to Post Haste, who was still face-down in his breakfast. “Uh, Postie?” she asked, shaking him with a hoof.

Postie pulled himself up, his face covered in haycake and his eyes a little unfocused. “You do know that hurts, right?” he asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

“You said you wouldn’t tell anypony!” Rainbow yelled, Tranquil rolling her eyes as she returned to the haycakes.

“But I didn’t,” Postie replied smugly as he continued eating. “You did.”

“What?” Rainbow asked flatly, seeming far from amused.

“Besides, you never said I couldn’t go into the details if they did know.” He finished his coffee and picked a bit of haycake off his face. “I think I need to wash my face.”

Rainbow just glared at him. Tranquil burst into laughter as soon as she was sure he had left the room. “Where did you find this one?” she asked when she recovered.

“The hospital,” Rainbow grumbled.

“That’s a strange place to find somepony, isn’t it?” She flipped a haycake over and moved it to a plate. “How did that happen? Did you injure yourself again?” She gasped dramatically. “Were you sharing the same room?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes at how her mother was making the whole thing out as some big scandal. “No, mom. He crash-landed at Sweet Apple Acres. Busted a wing.” Both mares shared a shudder. Injuring a wing was one thing pegasi feared most, akin to a unicorn damaging their horn. Rainbow was especially fearful of the idea, having once been hospitalised with a wing injury herself. “I offered to help him start flying again. He was grounded for more than a week, after all.”

“I’m sorry, did I hear that right?” Tranquil turned to face her daughter. “Rainbow Dash, my daughter, who thinks herself higher than the Princesses, helped rehabilitate an injured pony?”

“I do not think myself higher than the Princesses!” Rainbow retorted. “Okay, sometimes,” she said as her mother glared at her. “And the only reason I helped him was because I knew what it was like.”

“And...?” Tranquil asked, putting the plate of haycakes in front of her daughter and nudging her with a wing.

“And well... he was nice to me. He didn’t just treat me like a tomcolt, or see me like I was some floozy. He actually wanted to get to know me. It felt... good.”

“It always is when a stallion looks at you for a reason other than your mane,” Tranquil said knowingly. “Or your body.”

“He does that too,” Rainbow said. “Not that I mind,” she smirked.

“I can’t say I blame you,” Tranquil replied, making her own breakfast now. “After all, you did get your looks from me.”

“A good thing too.” Thunderhead had just entered the kitchen and had decided to join the conversation. “If you looked anything like me, I’d be wondering how you even got a stallion in the first place!” he said with a loud laugh.

“Dad!” Rainbow said through her smile.

“Where’re mine?” the older stallion asked as he approached his wife.

“Wait your turn,” Tranquil said calmly as she continued with the task. She let out a yelp as her husband slapped her flank with a wing. “Thunderhead!” she said loudly, rounding towards the stallion.

“You were perfectly fine with me doing that last night,” he replied slyly. He didn’t get a chance to get any further though.

“I’m right here!” Rainbow said loudly, looking disgusted by the display she was witnessing.

Author’s Notes:

Definitely can’t be pleasant hearing the potential future in-laws going at it like a pair of rabbits, huh?

And Rainbow pulled a Pinkie Pie. Or a Homer Simpson, you choose.

And I guess I kinda based Tranquil Sky and Thunderhead off of my grandmother and grandfather. None of that slap-and-tickle though. At least, I hope so...

Unexpected

Rainbow Dash stomped off from the rather disturbing scene that was playing out in the kitchen. She didn’t care what they said, seeing her parents doing what they had been doing was far from pleasant. Even if it was in the kitchen. Especially if it was in the kitchen. After all, that’s where food was prepared.

She entered the bathroom with every intention of showering. Yesterday’s mild panic with Post Haste meant that she had forgotten to take one. She stood under the shower head, letting the warm water cascade over her in an attempt to let it wash away the problems (or more accurately, the images of her parents doing... things) plaguing her mind. She was so focused on trying to push those thoughts from her mind she failed to notice when somepony pushed open the door to the bathroom.

Post Haste knew he should have knocked. After all, it would have been momentously awkward if he had walked in on Tranquil Sky showering. It would have been downright terrifying if it had been Thunderhead. As it stood, this was incredibly... pleasing. He closed the door as quietly as he could, though it was still loud enough to catch Rainbow’s attention. “Wha - ” she blurted out as she spun.

“You definitely know how to take my mind off things,” Postie said as he stepped closer to the mare.

The smile on his muzzle was nothing compared to the grin being worn by Rainbow. “Come any closer, I’ll blow your mind.”

“I bet that won’t be the only thing,” the stallion said as he joined the mare under the water.

Thunderhead ascended the staircase and headed for the bathroom, a towel draped around his neck. He intended to take a shower before leaving for weather duty. When he got there, he found the door locked. He could also hear something beyond the sound of running water, the sounds of grunting, groaning and pleased moaning.

“You two, stop rutting and get out!” he yelled loudly as he hammered on the door. From within he could hear a pair of surprised yelps and somepony falling to the ground. It wasn’t long before Post Haste and Rainbow Dash emerged, still damp and blushing a very bright red at having been caught. Thunderhead gave them both a very dirty look before shaking his head and stepping into the bathroom, leaving the door unlocked.

Barely a minute later Tranquil Sky slipped in, giving the large weather pony the best surprise since his last birthday.

“Your father is a dirty hypocrite,” Postie, slumped at the kitchen table, said glumly. He had his hooves over his ears, not that they had much effect.

“I know,” Rainbow groaned, in a similar position. From above they could hear... things they wished they couldn’t. She stood up. “That’s it. We’re going out.”

“Whuh?” Postie asked, looking up in surprise.

“You spent most of yesterday in the house, and I didn’t really see much because I was helping dad.”

Postie blinked in confusion. “Wait. Your father got you to help with his weather duties?”

Rainbow shrugged. “He needed another pony to help demonstrate a few things, and I’ve got experience. He spent most of his time at the Weather Factory maintaining the Storm Generators,” she explained. “You would not believe how sloppy those griffons are.”

Postie nodded absentmindedly, completely clueless. “Well, I suppose we should wait unti - ” A particularly loud moan changed his mind. “We’ll just leave a note,” he said loudly.

A hastily-scribbled note was left on the table and the two younger pegasi were out the door less than a minute later. “So,” Postie turned to Rainbow, “you’ve been around town a bit, where should we go?” He didn’t even notice the slight chill. Earth ponies are incredibly strong and durable, unicorns have magic and pegasi have flight, the ability to walk on clouds and the power to almost completely ignore the temperature.

“I dunno,” Rainbow replied, shrugging with her wings. “I was just gonna look around, maybe find something to do.”

The walked aimlessly through the streets of Hippogriff. Or rather, Postie did, with Rainbow content with hovering just above him. “This place is disturbingly similar to Ponyville,” the mailpony commented.

“What do ya mean?”

“Well,” Postie pointed at a few buildings. “There’s a bakery. That’s a library. That looks like a tailor’s.”

Rainbow just gave the stallion a flat stare. “Yes, because no other town in Equestria has those,” she said as sarcastically as equinely possible.

“I mean where they are relative to each other,” Postie explained.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Postie, you’re crazy.”

“I thought you liked crazy,” he asked with an exaggerated pout.

“Not in public,” she replied. “Besides,” she continued, “I bet Ponyville doesn’t have one of those.” Postie followed her hoof and found her pointing at a building like any of the others. The main difference was that there were absolutely no ponies anywhere near it, while the number of griffons seemed larger than anywhere else. “I wonder what that is, anyway.”

The stallion looked at the sign and immediately realised why. “I don’t think we’ll want to go there,” he said quietly as he turned away.

“It can’t be that bad,” she said confidently as she hovered over to a window and peeked inside. Half a second later she pulled back and retreated. “Okay, you were right,” she said quietly, her expression somewhere between horrified and disturbed.

“Let me guess, dead animals being carved up?” Postie asked.

“Yeah,” Rainbow replied. “How are you so okay with that?”

“You forget where I came from?” Postie asked. “Remember? Omnivorous biped? Those kinds of places were common,” he said, pointing at the building in question.

“Huh. Never really thought about that.” Rainbow tilted her head. “I really should be a bit calmer about the whole dead animal thing, I suppose.”

“Yeah, you should,” a new voice said. The owner sounded female, and arrogant. “You hung around me for years, you know I ate meat. Maybe you decided to forget all that when you abandoned me for all those lame-o ponies.”

Both pegasi turned to see who it was. The owner of the voice was a griffon hen. The tips of the feathers on her head were tipped with a light-greyish purple, as was the area around her eyes, like eyeshadow. “Gilda?” Rainbow Dash asked, not sure that it was her.

“Hey, dweeb.”

Author’s Notes:

Oh hey, it’s Gilda!

Short chapter, yes, but I just wanted to get this out.

Reset

“Nice of you to remember my name,” Gilda said, sounding completely indifferent..

“What are you doing here?” Rainbow asked carefully. “I thought you - ”

“Went back to Aquileon?” the griffon said, cutting the pegasus off. “I did, for a while.” She scowled. “You have any idea what it was like, going back?” The ponies weren’t given a chance to respond. “My parents wanted nothing to do with me. My boss decided to fire me. I had to move in with-” Her tirade was cut off when a solid column of water suddenly fell on her for apparently no reason. This left her soaked to the bone, giving her the uniquely strange appearance of both a wet cat and a wet bird at the same time.

“Sorry!” They looked up to see a familiar griffon hen waving down at them. “I didn’t mean to do that!” Maria yelled out.

There seemed to be steam rising off Gilda’s body and she was breathing heavily. “I think we should leave,” Post Haste whispered at Rainbow.

“Oh no!” Gilda yelled, rounding on them. “You’re not going until I’ve said what I want!”

“And why should we listen to you?” Rainbow Dash shot back angrily. “You treated my friends like dirt, made a mule of yourself in front of the whole town and you made Fluttershy cry! You expect me to apologise!?” The pegasus turned tail with a huff. “C’mon, Postie, let’s go.”

“Wait!” Gilda cried out, lunging and grabbing Rainbow’s tail.

“Let her go!” Postie yelled suddenly. He hadn’t known it but he had, until that point, been fighting against his pony instincts. Despite how advanced they were, culturally and technologically, there was some small primal part of a pony’s brain that told the rest of the body to get ready to run from or fight a griffon. After all, a griffon was one part eagle and one part lion, two of the deadliest predators mixed into one being. Fleeing was a natural response. Fighting was only to happen when there was no other option.

Seeing the mare he loved threatened like that, though, it pushed those thoughts of self-preservation away. Replacing them was a burning anger and desire to protect her, even if that meant putting his own life at risk.

“Or what?” the griffon asked menacingly.

What he did next, it was something no-one watching would have ever expected. Even the ones that saw it couldn’t believe what had happened. The pressure on Rainbow’s tail disappeared as the claw holding it was slapped away. Both griffon and mare stared at the stallion is disbelief, their expressions mirroring the one he wore as he gawked at his hoof.

I just did that, he thought. Oh sweet Luna I just did that! What is wrong with me!? He continued to stare at his hoof as though it had sprouted fingers.

“Did... did you just...?” Rainbow asked, not entirely sure what emotions she was feeling. Surprise was definitely there, as was pure confusion. But just what was that strange tingly feeling? It was familiar, she knew that much...

“You hit me,” Gilda said in disbelief. “You actually hit me.” The griffon chuckled. “You gotta be the first pony to actually do that.”

The air was suddenly filled with a very peculiar sound. It was so... strange that both Postie and Rainbow were unsure what to make of it. “Gilda?” Rainbow asked, staring at the griffon. “Are you laughing?”

“So what if I am?” she asked.

“But... you never laugh,” Rainbow replied, wondering what had happened to her (former) friend.

“Hey, things change,” Gilda said with a shrug.

“Yeah, but this is you we’re talking about!” Rainbow’s confusion was quickly replaced with deep suspicion. “Who are you and what have you done with Gilda?” she asked, eyes narrowed and body tensed as she prepared to pounce.

Gilda rolled her eyes. “Still the same Dash,” she muttered. “Can’t seem to think I might have changed, can ya?”

“Gilda,” the pegasus replied, keeping her tone deadly serious, “this is you we’re talking about. Griffons don’t change their feathers. Uh, metaphorically speaking,” she added hastily before Gilda could remind her about moulting.

“‘Metaphorically’?” the griffon asked, head tilted slightly. “Since when did you use such big words that weren’t to do with flying?”

“I’ve changed a bit,” Rainbow replied.

“She reads in her spare time,” Postie chipped in, receiving a venomous glare in response.

“Rainbow Dash? Reading?” Gilda asked, gaping at the mare. “That’s it, then. The world’s gonna end, I know it,” she muttered as she turned away. “Anyway, there was a reason I wanted to talk to you,” she said, turning back to the frustrated mare.

“Which was?” Rainbow said with all the grace of a filly being denied ice cream.

“I wanted to apologise.”

The silence was so thick it could have been cut with a spoon. “What.”

Posite, not having been around Gilda at all before this event, was completely unaware of just how momentous this was. “Is this a big deal?” he asked, confused by his fillyfiend’s reaction.

“You have no idea. You never apologise!” Rainbow yelled at Gilda.

“Like I said, I’ve changed,” the griffon shrugged. “My uncle’s been really good to me.”

“You have an uncle?” Rainbow asked, still incredibly confused. “I never knew that.”

“It’s not like I told you everything,” Gilda replied with an eye roll. “You never told me you were dating someone, after all.”

“This is kinda recent,” Rainbow answered. “And don’t change the subject! What do you mean you’re apologising!?”

“Exactly what I said. I know I acted like a jerk, and that pushed away the only friend I ever had.” Gilda hung her head. “It hurt, Dash, it hurt more than anything ever had. And I deserved it. Took me a while to realise that, though,” she added. “My parents kicked me out and I lost my job before it sunk in.”

Rainbow didn’t know what to think. Gilda seemed to be completely sincere, something that was going against everything she knew about her. The Gilda she knew was, to put it as bluntly as possible, a complete bitch. She had no respect for authority, was determined to get her way and was utterly convinced that she was never in the wrong. For her to admit that she was... “I don’t know what to say,” she muttered, looking at the ground in front of the griffon’s talons.

“She means it, Rainbow,” Posite said quietly. “I can tell.”

“How would you know? You’ve only just met her,” she hissed back.

“Trust me,” he whispered back.

“You two do know I can hear you, right?” Gilda shot at them, wearing an amused smirk. “And Dash, I don’t really care if you think I mean it or not. I just wanted to get that off my chest.”

“Gilda...” Rainbow was still uncharacteristically at a loss for words. “You know we can’t go back to how we were, right?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure I want to. We were jerks. Some of the things we did...”

“Yeah...” Rainbow did not look happy about bringing up the more questionable parts of her past.

“Can we, maybe, I dunno, start over?” Gilda asked hopefully.

“I... I’d like that.”

Gilda went and grabbed the mare in a big hug, causing her to flinch. Eventually, she returned the hug. After a moment, Gilda spoke up.

“So who’s the stallion with the brass balls?”

Postie spluttered in shock.

Author’s Notes:

Sorry for the wait, folks! I got a little too distracted with my new New Vegas crossover.

And oh goodness, Gilda is not being an alpha bitch! Personally, I think that interpretation is a bit too... simple. An easy way out, as it were. Give her some depth, people! Same applies to Trixie.

Conversation

Post Haste could tell when he was a third wing. Rainbow Dash and Gilda clearly had some catching up to do if they wanted to repair their friendship, and he felt it would be best if they were alone. His decision was also influenced by the fact that their conversation seemed to taking a rather personal turn.

He returned to Rainbow’s parent’s house to find Tranquil Sky lying on a couch in what could be called a living room. There were two more matching chairs, a small bookshelf and a cabinet that held who-knew-what. The mare was reading what appeared to be a magazine. “Oh! I didn’t expect you to come back so soon!”

Postie did a wing shrug. “Neither did I, but Rainbow ran into an old friend. Is Thunderhead - ?”

“Off on weather duty.” Tranquil sighed. “I honestly hoped that we would have more time together when we moved here. I don’t know why we bothered moving from Cloudsdale. He still works, and I still sit at home on my own.” She let out another sigh.

“Is it really that bad?” Postie asked, feeling a little bad for the mare.

“Oh, not really,” she replied cheerfully, making the stallion feel a little silly for falling for her acting. “I get together with a few mares and hens a few times a week and we make a day of it.”

“Sounds a bit like Rarity and Fluttershy,” Postie commented.

“I still can’t believe that Rainbow is friends with a fashion designer. She can’t stand wearing clothes,” Tranquil replied with a gentle laugh.

“If anything, they’re more like friendly enemies. Whenever I see them, they seem to be arguing.”

The older mare let out another laugh. Compared to the loud, masculine one that Rainbow often used, this one was quieter, feminine and eerily similar to Rarity’s.

“It’s probably not polite of me to ask, but your cutie mark,” Postie said, trying to find a conversation topic. “What does it mean?”

“Well, I was always at home in the spotlight. Made my name as a fashion model. I’m not surprised you haven’t heard of me, though,” Tranquil said with what seemed to be a sad sigh. “I’m far past my prime, and I know it. My last modelling job was ten years ago.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Postie hastily replied. “Personally, I think you’re quite beautiful.”

“Thank you, dear,” she replied warmly. “A mare needs to be reminded every now and then, you know?”

“Rainbow has an ego the size of Canterlot, I’m used to this kind of thing,” he answered calmly.

“I don’t think my daughter would like you saying that,” Tranquil responded disapprovingly.

“She knows she has a problem,” Postie wing-shrugged. He took up a chair on the other side of the room. “She’s getting better, but...”

“Rainbow’s always had an attitude problem. I guess that’s my fault.”

All Postie did was raise an curious eyebrow as he made himself comfortable. “Really? I would’ve thought that Thunderhead was more responsible for that.”

“He played a part, but compared to what I did it’s completely insignificant.” She waved a hoof airily. “He just wanted her to be happy. I tried to force her into a modelling career.”

“I can imagine how well that went,” Postie replied after a brief silence. “She’s beautiful, but - ”

“Absolutely no patience.” Tranquil finished his sentence. “Thank heavens I gave up before we even started.” She vacated her couch and went over to a small cabinet. “I have a few photos here somewhere...”

“How would that have led to Rainbow’s... ego?” Postie asked delicately.

“She more or less did everything she could to distance herself from what I did after that. I don’t blame her,” she added happily. “She’s her own mare, and it’s not right to force her to do something she has no love for. I just wish she hadn’t been so... vocal about it.” Before Postie could ask what she meant, the mare let out a small yelp of triumph. “Found it!”

Postie leaned over to look at the floor as Tranquil opened the photo album and flipped the pages. She quickly found the picture she was looking for. There was a silence, followed by a snort, which was quickly followed by unrestrained mirth. “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He clutched at his sides and rolled off the seat. He didn’t care though, what he had just seen was too hilarious. “Oh... Oh wow... ” He picked himself up. “How did you get her to wear that?”

“A lot of chocolate and tickets to the Wonderbolts.” Tranquil Sky was laughing as well, though it was much more restrained compared to what Postie was doing.

“I’m not going to be able to forget this any time soon, you know that?”

Rainbow Dash had spent most of the day with her old friend, and she had found that it was more than worthwhile. When Gilda had left Ponyville the way she had, it had hurt. She had resigned herself to the fact that Gilda was too stubborn to even try to fix the damage. True, it had taken two years, but the fact that she wanted to, even after all that time, was a sign of just how badly the griffon wanted to make things right. At least, that was how Rainbow interpreted it.

When Rainbow returned, it was to find something... strange. As though the universe had not had enough with her for one day, Postie was wearing an apron and seemed to be slaving away in the kitchen. She stared at him for a moment, and for some reason he snickered behind his hoof. “Mom?” she asked. “Why is my coltfriend making dinner?”

“He volunteered,” Tranquil replied cheerfully. “It’s so nice having somepony else do it for a change.”

“Yeah,” her daughter replied carefully. “Why did he laugh at me when I walked in?”

“Oh, no reason,” Tranquil answered in a tone that Rainbow knew all too well.

“What did you show him?” she asked warily, wondering what embarrassing token of her foalhood he had seen. Before she could get an answer, Rainbow saw a photograph. She stared at it for a moment before letting her anger win. “MOM!”

Author’s Notes:

Yes, another short one. But seeing the speed of the updates, I think it doesn’t really matter.

And I have been waiting for an opportunity to use that picture for months. Rainbow Dash dresses in style, anypony?

Mares...

Rainbow Dash was sulking. She would never admit to it, and even if she did she would rather use the word ‘brooding’ in its place. She was not upset about that evening’s dinner, it had been absolutely delicious. Nor was it that her father had teased about needing a stallion to cook for her, she was used to his attempts to rile her. No, what had put her in such a bad mood was that her mother had shown him that photograph. If she didn’t know better, she’d say that her coltfriend and her mother were competing to see who could humiliate her more. At the moment, her mother was ahead by a lot.

So, in a rather childish attempt to avoid further embarrassment, she had retreated to the comfort of her room. Unfortunately for her, she had forgotten that at some point Post Haste would end up joining her. Her head shot up when the door creaked open. “Rainbow?” a voice asked, somewhat timid, as though its owner was afraid of angering some horrid beast. Given the circumstances, it wasn’t a bad move.

“What do you want?” Rainbow asked angrily. “Here to embarrass me some more?”

“No, I...” Postie had not expected her to be this upset. “I didn’t think it’d affect you that bad.”

“Oh no, of course it wouldn’t, it’s just a photo that Rarity and Applejack would kill to get their hooves on.” Rainbow’s head hit the bed with a solid thomp. “Can you imagine what they’d do?”

“That’s if they see it,” Postie replied calmly. He lay down next to the mare and stretched his wings. “The photo’s gonna stay here, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“I know, it’s just...” Rainbow sighed. “I spent years building up this image. I guess I’m just a little - eep!”

Rainbow’s complaints were silenced as Post Haste began nibbling on her left ear, her ‘off switch’. That was important, he had learnt. Nibbling on her right ear had caused her to wing to shoot out fast enough to send him across the room.

“Stop that!” she whined.

“You know you like it,” Postie replied slyly. As if to confirm that, she began to moan and her wings slowly rose, as though she was fighting it.

“Nnng...” the mare moaned as she felt a hoof stroke her wing.

“What say we pick up where we left off before?” he asked, referring to their earlier showering session.

“I don’t think - ah! - that they’ll want us taking the - nng! - loofah.”

“And there they go,” Thunderhead commented.

“You shouldn’t be so upset about this,” Tranquil Sky commented from her place on the couch. “You know they’re in a physical relationship.”

“I know, it’s just...” the storm-grey stallion sighed. “She’s my little girl, and I don’t want to see her get hurt. Again.”

“She’s my daughter too,” Tranquil gently reminded her husband. “Besides, she told me about how they met. That stallion is a little strange, but he’s a complete gentlecolt.”

“I don’t know, dear,” Thunderhead muttered. “Something about him is just... off.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, ears perking up in curiosity.

“Maybe I’m just paranoid, but that colt is hiding something.”

“Thunder, you worry too much.” There was a brief silence. “Oh, could you pick up a new loofah tomorrow?” she added. “I don’t want to know what those two were doing with it.”

Thunderhead suppressed a yawn as he made his way to the bathroom for his morning shower. Despite what his daughter had been doing the previous night, sleep had come easy. A little too easy, perhaps. He’d have to go to a doctor.

As he passed the room Rainbow Dash and Post Haste were sharing, he noticed some indecently loud moaning. “Oooh...”

While he would have liked nothing more at that point thank to just walk on, he couldn’t believe that they were clearly going at it when it was only... he wasn’t sure what time it was, but it was certainly way too early. He pushed open the door and stuck his head in. “What do you two...” The words died in his throat.

“Good morning?” Postie asked cautiously.

“Dad, what are you doing?” Rainbow asked.

“Never mind...” he muttered as he resumed his short walk to the bathroom.

Postie and Rainbow shared a look before shrugging. “What was that about?” the stallion asked, pressing his hooves into the base of her wings as he did.

“No idea.” The technicolour mare let out a groan as he continued her massage. “You’re getting good at this.”

“Hey, you let me practise.”

Thunderhead was halfway through his mug of coffee when Post Haste entered the kitchen. “Morning,” the younger stallion said.

“Morning,” he replied, setting his mug down. “What was going on up there before?” he asked.

“Rainbow slept on her wing, I volunteered to do something about it.”

“Ah,” he replied. “As long as that’s all it was. It sounded like you and Dashie were doing... things.”

Postie blinked. “It sounded like that?” His face reddened. “Oh wow, I’m so sorry.”

“Just be glad it was me and not Tranquil. Princesses know what that mare would’ve said.” He chuckled softly as Postie poured himself some coffee. “I love her, I really do, but sometimes...”

“I get that with Rainbow every now and then, too.” Postie took his mug and seated himself at the table. “Sometimes, you just need some breathing space, y’know?”

“I’ve been married for nearly thirty years, kid. Trust me when I say I know that better than you,” the older stallion sighed. “Never tell a mare she might be gaining weight, if you like having teeth.”

The younger stallion laughed. “What possessed you to do that?” he asked, sipping at his mug.

“I don’t remember, honestly. I was young, though, and maybe drunk. Tranquil has a mean right hook, though.”

“She's an ex-model. Rainbow’s an athlete. Our first big argument, she gave me a black eye and knocked me out.”

“That’s it?” Thunderhead asked. “She really must like you. She hospitalised the last idiot she brought home.”

“Yeah, she told me about that,” he replied quietly. “It’s kind of intimidating, dating somepony who could break your spine. Not that she would,” he hastily added, “but the fact that she can...”

“As long as you treat her right, you won’t have nothing to worry about. From her or me,” he finished, a hint of menace in his voice.

Postie simply looked at him. “I love Rainbow. I would never do anything that would give her a reason to leave me, and it’s the same for her.” He set his mug down and planted his forehooves on the table. “Rainbow practically gave me a reason to live. I was just... going through the motions before I met her. Do you honestly think I’d do anything to betray that?”

Thunderhead took a few moments before answering. “That’s what I wanted to hear,” he said. “You’re a good stallion. I just had to be sure.” There was a brief, slightly awkward silence, a common thing that arose when two males ran out of conversation topics and were struggling to find another.

Eventually, it was broken when somepony else entered the room. “Are you two getting along?” Tranquil Sky asked, curlers adorning her mane and tail.

“Just fine,” Thunderhead added with a wave of his hoof. “Could ya make us some waffles, maybe?”

“As long as you save some for Rainbow,” the mare said with a scowl. Postie got the distinct impression that she’d rather not make breakfast.

“I could make the waffles, if you want,” he said, leaving his seat.

Tranquil smiled. “That’s kind of you, dear, but it’s okay. After all, you did make dinner last night.”

“All right then,” he said as sat back down again.

Another silence arose as the pair of stallions waited for food. “Say,” Thunderhead said cautiously, “tonight, what say you and I go to Maxwell’s restaurant, and have a couple drinks?”

“You know I don’t really drink, right?” Postie asked back, an eyebrow raised.

“I’m not saying you need to drink the really hard stuff,” he said airily. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Author’s Notes:

If you think that first part is too much, would you kindly pull the stick out of your ass? Come on, I’ve read clop (at least, it was advertised as clop, it was kinda disappointing) that has less detail!

And yes, they did things with the loofah. Best not ask what.

Hangover

Thunderhead and Post Haste staggered in the dark, using each other to stop themselves from hitting the ground. “A-and then! Then we clipped his wings, dyed his mane purple, his tail red and left him on the ground!” Both pegasi roared with laughter. “I - I’ve never seen a pony drink so much,” Thunderhead said, his speech slurred to the point of being nigh incomprehensible.

“That - hic! - that was nothin’!” Postie replied, waving a hoof. “There’s this stallion, back in Ponyville. Big Macintosh. He - hic!- he can down enough cider to knock out a normal pony, and it don’t even get him drunk! Hic!” He was, as was the norm for a drunk male, grossly exaggerating. “H-He’s like a mountain or somethin’!”

The pair devolved into idiotic chuckling as they got to the door of the house. Thunderhead tried to turn the handle but, in his drunken state, failed completely. “Hey!” he hollered, banging on the door. “Tranquil! Open up!”

The door eventually opened and they were greeted not by Tranquil or Rainbow, but a completely unfamiliar orange unicorn colt, who looked about eight years old. His horn was glowing and his yellow mane and tail were messy. “Hello, Mister Thunderhead,” he said sleepily.

The older gray stallion blinked a few times. “Flare? What are you doin’ here?” he asked.

“You got the wrong house again, mister,” Flare the unicorn colt said, suppressing a yawn. “Your house is that one.” he pointed to the house immediately to the left of the house they were standing in front of.

“Oh.” There was a brief pause as he processed this bit of information. “Sorry, Flare.”

“It’s okay,” the colt said with another yawn. He closed the door on the drunken duo, but not before wishing them a good night.

“At least it wasn’t a griffon,” Postie commented.

“Yeah,” the older stallion muttered as they shuffled to the correct house. “They tend to use the claws.” Something in his voice seemed to indicate that he had some first-hoof experience in the matter. Even in his drunken state, Postie was able to pick it up. Unfortunately, his current state of mind made him take it the worst possible way.

“Whassa matter, you walk in on a pair of -hic!- griffons doin’ it?” the blue mailpony asked lewdly.

“No!” the aging weather pony yelled back drunkenly. “Heavens, anything but that! Like the time I walked in on Rainbow getting mounted by - ”

“Woah!” Postie exclaimed loudly, making a wild hoof gesture. “Too much information!” There was a brief pause. “What did he look like?”

“What was that about too much information?” Thunderhead asked just before he walked muzzle-first into the door.

“Well I hope you’re proud of yourself,” Tranquil said disapprovingly as she opened the door and looked at her husband, who was occupying the door mat.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked. “I married you!”

“And I can’t help but wonder why I said yes,” she muttered acidly. She grabbed the stallion’s tail and dragged him inside. Postie followed, covering his mouth with a wing as he yawned.

By the time Thunderhead’s form made it into the living room, he was fast asleep, and snoring like a steam train. Tranquil left him on the floor with a huff.

Postie made his way up the stairs haphazardly, bumping into the wall numerous times. Eventually, he did make it to his room, his entrance waking up Rainbow Dash.

“Huh? Whuh?” She looked around frantically before her eyes settled on the silhouette of her coltfriend. “Oh.” She waved a hoof in front of her face. “Wow, you reek.”

“Of masculini... masculili... mascu...” He stumbled over the word a few more times before giving up. “Of stallion-ness.”

“No, of alcohol,” Rainbow replied. If she had fingers or claws, she would have been pinching her nose. “What did dad do, dump a mug of cider on you?”

“No, Maxwell did.” Postie flopped onto the bed and yawned again. “Boy, did he have some weird stories.”

“Do you mind?” she asked moodily. “I want to get back to sleep.”

“You’re - hic! - you’re no fun,” the stallion grumbled.

To say that Post Haste’s head hurt when he awoke the next morning would be akin to saying that dirt was brown. It was a grave understatement, and a horrible injustice to the brain cells that he had lost the previous night in his quest to better bond with Thunderhead. While he had succeeded, he couldn’t help but question if it had been worth it at all. At least he hadn’t actually paid for any of the drinks. From what little he could remember, that was a small mercy.

A titanic crash rang through the air, bringing his brain to a grinding halt as pain unlike anything he had ever experienced coursed through it. Then, there was another. And another. And another. “Stop!” he yelled out, rolling over to see Rainbow Dash hovering in the doorway, holding a pot with a hoof, a wooden spoon in her mouth and slamming the two together. As he watched, she did it again, smiling sadistically. He covered his ears with his hooves but, due to the general shape of his hooves, succeeded in doing pretty much nothing. It was only then that he realised just how bright the room was, so he pulled one of his wings over his face. To his surprise, it actually did what he wanted.

“Are you awake yet?” Rainbow asked, spitting out the spoon.

“If I asked you to stop, I think that’s a ‘yes’,” the stallion replied angrily. “Just let me sleep, my head is killing me.”

“You think this is bad?” Rainbow asked, dropping the pot onto the gargantuan mattress. “You should see what mom’s gonna do to dad in a second.” She blinked. “Actually, maybe you shouldn’t. You might wanna cover your ears,” she suggested.

“Why?” he asked. A moment later, he got his answer when an airhorn, of all things, went off downstairs, loud enough to mentally sucker-buck his brain. “Oh sweet merciful - ! Where did your mother find one of those?” he exclaimed, cradling his aching head.

“I have no idea,” she replied as she picked up the pot and spoon. “If you want breakfast, you might wanna use some mouthwash first, your breath stinks.” As she left the room, Postie breathed onto his hoof and smelt it, pulling away a moment later and retching.

Author’s Notes:

So, does this count as a minor troll by having nothing really bad happen to them? Unless you count an airhorn to the ear while hung over...

Yeah, that probably counts.

And no, I don’t know if they have mouthwash. They do have steampunk airships and electric turntables, it wouldn’t surprise me.

Things Best Left Unspoken (Now with more words!)

“Why don’t you just kill me?” Thunderhead groaned, his hooves covering his head.

“Because it’s better than you deserve,” Tranquil said menacingly, hovering above him like an angry wasp. In one hoof was the airhorn, the other hoof poised above it, ready to come down and bring all the tortures of Tartarus upon the hung-over stallion at any moment. “Did you know Flare’s parents came by earlier? Something about you waking him up in the dead of night?”

Thunderhead blinked, trying to recall what had happened the previous night. He clearly remembered arriving at Maxwell’s restaurant, then something about an upended mug of cider, the griffon’s triple-malt whiskey kept hidden for special occasions... After that, it was touch-and-go, bits and pieces slipping out of his grasp every time he tried to catch them. After about ten seconds of this, his eyes widened. “Oh crap.”

As the older stallion whinnied in pain and the airhorn sounded not three inches from his face, Post Haste made his way down the stairs, wincing at the loud noise. He made his way to the kitchen, but not before witnessing the very unethical treatment Rainbow’s father was suffering at the hooves of his wife. “You wouldn’t do anything like that to me, would you?” he asked Rainbow.

His fillyfriend looked up from her bowl, a few oats stuck to her muzzle. “I would, but you’d find a way to get me back. Then I’d do something to get back at you, then you’d do something...” She waved a hoof in the air. “Basically, it’d get to the point where we’ll end up destroying half of Ponyville. Not worth the trouble,” she said, returning to her breakfast.

Postie took a moment to think about that. She was right, he’d likely enlist the help of Pinkie Pie to get revenge. Then Rainbow Dash would do the same, and from there it was simply impossible to guess just how far things would escalate. He let out a short yelp when the shrill screech of the airhorn sounded for the third time that morning. “Damn that hurts,” he groaned.

“Yeah, Mom’s been kinda... harsh to Dad since that one time,” she said carefully.

“‘That one time’?” Postie asked as he sat, his curiosity piqued. “What happened?”

“All I know is that it happened when I was at flight camp. They won’t tell me what happened, but it must have been bad. When I got back Dad had a broken leg.” She swallowed her mouthful of oats. “Mom is a lot stronger than she looks.”

“Enough! Please!” they heard Thunderhead plead.

“Every!” There was the blast of the airhorn. “Damn!” And another. “Time!” And another. “What is wrong with you!?” This last question was punctuated with a ten-second long blast.

“I think Tranquil has a few issues,” Postie said carefully.

Rainbow simply shrugged as Tranquil walked in, holding the airhorn in her mouth. As she set it on the table, she turned to the younger stallion. “How are you doing, dear?” she asked sweetly.

“Fine, thanks,” he replied carefully, a little worried that she could be so pleasant after abusing Thunderhead so much.

“What do you want for breakfast?” she asked, ignoring her husband’s pained moaning.

“I’m not really hungry,” Postie said a little too fast.

“Don’t be silly, of course you’re hungry,” she said as she pulled a frying pan from the cupboard. As she began cooking, Thunderhead stumbled in with an expression that said that he was suffering from either a migraine, minor brain damage or some combination of both.

“Oh merciful heavens...” he moaned as he managed, barely, to get onto a seat. Then he slipped off and hit the ground with a loud thump. “Ow.”

“Get up,” Tranquil said harshly, not even sparing the stallion a glance. “You spent all night on the floor, you’re not doing the same this morning.”

Thunderhead pulled himself up with obvious effort. “It’d help if you hadn’t turned by brain into paste with that damn airhorn,” he growled as best as he could.

“I wouldn’t have to if you hadn’t gotten so drunk,” the mare shot back. “Still can’t believe you haven’t learnt by now.”

“You’ve been married to me for thirty years, you should know better,” he said, smirking. He winced and brought a hoof to his head. “Oh I need painkillers.”

“You’re lucky you don’t have weather duty today,” Rainbow commented.

“Thank Celestia for that,” he muttered. “Don’t even want to think of pushing around clouds with this hangover. It might kill me.”

“You’re not getting off that easy,” Tranquil replied, waving the spatula at him menacingly.

Thunderhead slowly forced his meal down. He didn’t have an appetite, but he knew better than to waste any food Tranquil made. After all, he didn’t want to give her a reason to bring out the airhorn again.

“Are you okay?” Tranquil asked, a cup of tea between her hooves.

“Not really,” he replied, looking up from his plate. “My head is still hurting.”

“No, I mean it looks like you’ve got something on your mind.” Tranquil took a sip of her tea. “Did somepony say something?”

“Rainbow and her coltfriend are gone, right?” Thunderhead asked, looking around.

“Yes, they left ten minutes ago.” She let out a big gasp. “Is he cheating on her?”

“What? No, he’d cut his own wings off before he did that, trust me.” He took another mouthful of toast. “No, he said... I’m not sure what he said, but it was strange.”

“Strange? How?”

“I can’t remember a word he said,” Thunderhead muttered. “All I can remember is being confused.”

“You were drunk,” Tranquil deadpanned. “Of course you were confused.”

“Wow,” Gilda exclaimed, staring across the table at what could only be described as the happy couple. She and Rainbow had agreed to meet up at Maxwell’s restaurant, it being the only real place that ponies and griffons could meet that was out of the way.

“What?” Rainbow asked, not liking the griffon’s tone.

“I didn’t think you were into stallions.”

Postie did his best to stifle a laugh as Rainbow glared at her old friend. “That happened once, and she started it.”

“I’m pretty sure I remember you kissing back,” Gilda taunted.

“I was drunk!” the pegasus retaliated. “I thought she was my coltfriend!” She realised what she said and quickly turned to Postie. “Er...”

“You were with another stallion years ago,” he said calmly, smiling slightly. “You think I really care that much?”

“You playing nice, Gilda?” Maxwell asked, looking over from behind the counter.

“Yes Uncle Max,” the hen replied in the tone of voice that only the perpetually bored could muster.

“He’s your uncle?” Rainbow asked, head tilted in confusion.

“Yeah. Guess I never told ya, huh?” She turned back to her uncle. “I’m gonna grab some cider!” she yelled.

“Don’t take the hard stuff, it’s not even eleven!” came the answer.

Gilda rolled her eyes. “I guess you don’t want any, huh?” she asked Postie as she stood up.

“Huh?”

“I heard you down here last night.” Comprehension dawned on the mailpony. “You were saying some weird things.”

As Gilda disappeared to get mugs for herself and Rainbow, the mare turned to the stallion, looking a little scared. “Did you...?”

The stallion, for his part, looked completely terrified. “I don’t know.”

Author’s Notes:

Everything after this is NEW. It was too short to warrant turning into its own chapter.

So, don't give me crap about it.

Gilda soon returned, two mugs of non-alcoholic cider and a mug of sarsaparilla in her claws. As she set them down, she turned to Post Haste. “Yeah, you were saying some really weird stuff. Stuff about the princesses, I think.”

“What kind of things?” the stallion asked, trying to keep his voice steady. Rainbow Dash watched from the sidelines, sipping from her mug, ready to jump in should things go south.

“I can’t remember, but I think you said something about... sleeping with one of them?”

Rainbow sent her mouthful of cider flying as Postie laughed like an idiot. “Oh, my head. Did... did I really say that!? Oh wow...” He trailed off, still giggling.

The griffon hen glared at the pegasus mare. “Gee, thanks, Rainbow, I really needed a shower,” she said sarcastically.

“You did not sleep with one of the princesses!” Rainbow yelled angrily, ignoring her friend.

“I was drunk, I was making things up!” Postie said, snorting with laughter. “I kissed Princess Luna, but - ”

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait,” Gilda interrupted, holding a claw up. “You actually kissed one of them!?” The griffon leaned back, her expression one of shock and awe. “Brass balls doesn’t cut it.”

“Oh my,” Tranquil Sky said quietly, holding a hoof to her mouth. “Did he really...?”

“I think so,” Thunderhead replied, his voice just as subdued. “I might be wrong, but...”

“I thought he was a little odd, but this...” Tranquil shook her head wearily. “We have to ask him about this.”

“You know he’ll try and dodge it,” the stallion said. “He’s male, it’s only natural.”

Much to the pegasi’s relief, Post Haste had not said anything that might just give away his past. Instead, he had spun some tale about how he had managed to bed Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and two of their maids. At the same time. The tale was impressive, but Postie was unable to fully appreciate it after receiving a few hooves to the back of the head from Rainbow.

“You’d know I’d never do something like that!” he cried out after the fifth such assault, rubbing his now thoroughly-bruised skull.

“I still can’t believe you said all that!” Rainbow retorted angrily. Gilda simply sat and watched as her friend attacked the stallion, doing her best to stifle her laughs.

“I wasn’t the only one saying stupid things last night!” he said, throwing his hooves up in an attempt to defend himself from any more blows. “You should’ve heard the stuff Maxwell and your father were saying!”

“Oh, this’ll be good,” Gilda said from the sidelines.

“What did dad say?” Rainbow asked, preemptively facehoofing, preparing herself for humiliation.

“Uhh...” Postie took a moment to think back to the previous night. “Well, Thunderhead told me about the time he pranked one of his friends in university.” Before he could get any further, his fillyfriend raised a hoof.

“Wait, is the one where a pony’s wings got clipped?” she asked.

“Yeah, why?”

Rainbow let out a snicker. “Because that happened to him. He keeps telling other ponies that it was somepony else, but...”

There was a brief silence. “He’s not living that one down. Ever,” Postie said as his composure gave way to unrestrained laughter.

It was sometime after lunch that Post Haste returned to the house. Rainbow Dash was spending some more time with Gilda, meaning he had been left alone to do whatever he wanted. That happened to be napping, a bad habit he’d picked up from the amateur stunt flyer. Unfortunately, Tranquil Sky and Thunderhead had other plans.

“Hello,” the younger stallion said cheerfully as he walked towards the stairs.

“Postie!” Thunderhead called out from the living room. “Could you come in here for a moment? We need to talk.”

If the overly-formal manner of speaking wasn’t enough, those last four words were more than enough to make the mailpony freeze and start to panic. He took a deep breath before calling back out. “Why?” he asked, sounding a lot like he’d just been caught with his hoof in the cookie jar.

“Something you said last night,” the older stallion said, sending Postie even further into worry. “I just wanted to make something clear...”

“Yes?” he asked back, wishing that he was somewhere, anywhere that wasn’t there.

Thunderhead stepped from the living room, concern etched on his face. “What did you mean when you said that you wished you had a father like me?”

Author’s Notes:

Wow, nearly a whole month. This is what happens when I focus too much on one thing.

And I know this is short, more for me to get the ball rolling again.

And just what the HELL is this doing in the feature box?

The Truth

“I was drunk last night,” Post Haste said evasively. “I don’t remember saying that.”

“You probably don’t,” Thunderhead conceded, “but that doesn’t mean you didn’t.” He sighed and stepped closer. Postie didn’t move, torn between what course of action to take. “A drunk pony’s words are a sober pony’s thoughts, after all.”

“We’re just worried.” The mailpony wheeled around and found himself facing Tranquil Sky, the former model wearing the same concerned look as her husband. She took a step closer and this time Postie tried to retreat, only to back into the wall. “We just want to help, dear.”

The younger stallion’s eyes darted as he tried to find a way out of this situation. His past, it wasn’t something he was comfortable talking about, not in the slightest. He’d told Rainbow Dash the whole story in a moment of weakness. He’d nearly done the same earlier with Tranquil, but managed to hold his tongue. Barely.

“I... err...” His resolve gave out when he properly looked at Tranquil Sky’s face. The look of motherly concern, it was just how he remembered his mother looking whenever he came home from school crying. He remembered how she had held him, told him everything would be okay and that things would get better. Not that they ever did, but he hadn’t cared.

Postie blinked as he began to silently weep. He wiped the tears away with a foreleg before looking down at the ground. His rear legs gave out and he sat down with a small thump, defeated. It was all too much. He couldn’t take it anymore.

Thunderhead and Tranquil Sky glanced at each other. “Come on,” the stallion said carefully, not entirely sure what to do. He helped the younger pony stand and led him to the living room. “Get him something to drink,” he ordered his wife. Normally, she would have protested, but these were hardly normal circumstances.

By the time Tranquil returned several minutes later, a small tray with tea cups in her mouth, Postie had told Thunderhead a lot of what he had told Rainbow several nights ago. He had calmed down considerably, meaning he could now string more than two words together. He was still crying, though.

“When I woke up the next morning she... she...” He broke down again, crying into Thunderhead’s mane. The older stallion looked very uncomfortable with the current turn of events. He wanted to get closer to the colt dating his daughter, but not this close!

“What did I miss?” Tranquil asked quietly. Thunderhead gave her a quick summary. Despite its conciseness, or maybe because of it, the mare found herself crying as well. “Oh, the poor thing. No wonder he didn’t want to talk about his mother.”

“And growing up without a father,” Thunderhead added, shaking his head in disbelief as best as he could.. “Amazing he’s so well-adjusted.”

“I’m right here,” Postie muttered under his breath, feeling more upset at being talked about like that. He took the cup that was passed to him and took a sip. The hot, sweet tea helped him a bit. “I’m sorry to burden you with all this,” he said louder, sniffing.

“Don’t be,” Tranquil admonished, briefly dropping into ‘scolding mother’. “I told you before, it’s not healthy to hold that sort of emotion in.”

“We care about you,” Thunderhead added. “You’re obviously a good colt, and nopony deserves to go through that kind of thing.” He stood up, having had enough of the amount of close contact he had had with the younger stallion. “Rainbow cares for you, and I can see why,” he said warmly.

Postie couldn’t help but smile a little. He had prepared himself for a barrage of emotional and verbal abuse, much like what he would have gotten had he explained this situation to anyone more than six months ago. He hadn’t expected them to be so understanding, and it took him a moment to realise that he really should have. They had been kind, protective and caring. Why would they act any different after finding out?

“Thank you. Both of you.” Postie looked at them both, his smile widening. “I... I’ve kept that secret so long, I forgot what it was like to get that off my chest.”

“You don’t have to keep that sort of thing secret around us,” Tranquil said warmly.

“Yeah, kid. You deserve to smile after having it so rough.”

“T-thank you,” he said, choking up from a fresh wave of tears. These tears, though, were happy ones, and he gave Tranquil Sky a shock when he grabbed in a tight hug. The mare gasped before returning the hug with a slightly awkward laugh. “Thank you so much.”

When Rainbow Dash got home, sometime before the sun was due to set, the first pony she ran into was her mother, in the kitchen. “Hey mom. Where’s Postie?”

“In your room, sleeping,” she replied, not turning from the salad she was tossing. “Could you wake him up? I don’t want him to miss dinner.”

“Okay,” Rainbow said, glancing briefly at her. She did a double take when she noticed the wistful smile she had. “Mom? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, dear. Check on your coltfriend, would you?”

Rainbow shot her mother one last look before deciding to do as she had been told. When she got to the room, she was greeted by the site of Post Haste lying on his side, snoring happily. Plastered on his face was a goofy smile, and the sight of him smiling like that was almost enough to make her not want to wake him up.

“Ow!” he exclaimed when a pillow hit him in the face.

Author’s Notes:

Very freaking short. Don’t complain. Well, complain all you want, I won't care in the slightest.

And does that count as a bit of a bait-and-switch?