Chapters The Adventures of Ponybuscus
The meadow outside of Ponyville was usually quiet, but one day it became inhabited by a very loud pony. Meet Tobuscus. He isn't really a pony, but for the purpose of this tale, he might as well be. He was a green earth pony with a brown mane and brown eyes. He did look a lot like a pony, but he acted very different.
He began talking, even though there was no one in sight. "Hello once again, for the first time, audience!" He yelled to what seemed like nobody. "When we left off... There was nothing, because this is the first episode ever... Everything is new... But am I new? Do I even belong here? I don't even know who I am anymore!" He broke into a dry sob, "I don't even know who I am! What is my purpose? Do I... Do I stay here, or do I go off somewhere else? What do I do? I need a sign!"
He began to walk as he spoke, then he broke into a chuckle. "I downloaded a My Little Pony game!" He said. Once again, he was talking to no one. "I found it on this website... I can't remember it's name... But do names even matter? I don't even know my name. I think it starts with a T... Oh God, I still don't know who I am!" He began to sob again, but quickly stopped. "I'm done," he stated. "I'm over it. No more crying like a little babybuscus. I'm a manbuscus. Anyway, when I downloaded this game it had a little description that I probably should have read, but I mean, come on. Me reading something? PFFFFT! Not gonna happen."
He looked around the meadow quickly. "Alright, let's figure out where we are, shall we?" He started to walk forward in a straight line. "Yes, I think we shall."
As he walked, a purple figure approached him. It was a pony, but it also had a horn on its head.
"What is that?" Toby asked. "Is that gonna kill me? Look at it! It has a freaking death horn! That's intimidating!"
"Wow," The unicorn said as she got within speaking distance. Her hair was long and black aside from two purple streaks down the center. "I didn't think that anypony came down here!"
"Wait. Did you just say anypony?" Toby asked. "Awww, that's cute! And clever!"
The unicorn wrote that off as a compliment and continued, "Are you looking for anything? You seem lost."
Toby thought for a moment. "Um... Can you tell me... Where is the town? Yes. Tell me where is the town. I believe that is the proper wording."
The unicorn happily pointed to the left. "Ponyville is that way," She said.
"Ponyville?" Toby asked. "That name is freaking perfect! I shall call it... Ponybuscusville! ...Hey! Griffon! Griffon, you shut your little doggy mouth! He hates it when I play on the computer. GRIFFON SHUT UP!"
"Who are you talking to?" The unicorn asked.
"NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!" Toby screamed. "Gee, the NPCs in this game are really smart... I don't like it."
The unicorn tried to ignore Toby's strange behavior. "Would you like to know more about Ponyville?" She asked.
Tobuscus thought for a moment. "Um... Uh.... Yes. Sure. Why not?"
"Well..." The unicorn took a deep breath and began to talk... and talk... and talk. She was talking about the early years of
"Uh..." Toby grunted as she spoke. "Is she gonna shut up? I don't care about this... Uh! I do not have this kind of attention span!" He looked around impatiently as she talked. "Oooh! What's that?" He exclaimed. Then he sprinted away while the unicorn was still talking. The thing he was so interested in was a cluster of trees.
"Well... That was strange," The unicorn commented.
Toby scaled the side of a small hill before reaching the trees. There were hundreds of them, all baring apples. "Wow," Toby said, "This place is amazing! Look at all these trees! Can I punch these trees and get some wood? Probably not. I should leave these alone. They look expensive."
He walked around in the thick forest of trees for a few seconds before he found something he was interested in. A lone pig was incased in a wooden fence with a feeding trough. If toby had looked behind the pen, he would have seen a barn full of animals, but he was too engrossed in the pig to pay attention to that. "PIGGY!" Toby exclaimed.
The fat, pink pig squealed in response to the sudden noise.
"Audience, look! I found a pig!" Toby said. "Oh, if I could get a saddle... I would ride that pig into the sunset! Are there saddles in pony land? Probably not. That would be creepy." Toby inspected the gate. "Okay, I need to get inside. I need to. If I don't play with the pig, I'll freaking explode, and my body will get everywhere, and it'll be disgusting." He backed away from the pig and ran straight toward it as fast as possible. "Alright, here we go. Double tap!" When he neared the gate, he jumped as high as he could and landed into the pig pen. "YES!" he cried in joy. "The victory is mine! I have defeated you, gate! You little failure!" He stood up and looked at the pig. "Did you see that pig?" he asked.
The pig stared at Toby.
"You are a little cutie!" Toby said. "You're cute!" They looked at each other for a moment. "...I'm gonna ride you now." he said. He then jumped onto the pig's back, scaring it into a fit and causing it to run in a frantic circle. "WHEEEEEW!" he cried.
Just then, the panicked pig crashed into the fence and sent Toby rolling off its back and onto the ground outside the fence. "NO, PIGGY NO!" Toby screamed in protest. He stood back up and looked at the pig. "You little traitor!" He yelled, "You little TRAITOR PIG! How dare you! I knew you your whole life! I raised you ever since you were a little biscuit! You were all like, 'When I grow up, I want to be a pig!' And then I said, 'You can't be a pig when you grow up. You're a biscuit!' But you never gave up! And you ate all of your vegetables and grew up big and strong!" He started to dry sob again, "Is this my punishment for not believing in you? I'm sorry! I should have seen your potential!" His voice raised to a shout. "But I will never forgive you for what you've done! You made me fall on the ground! The ground is dirty! Look at me! LOOK AT HOW DIRTY I AM! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FOR ME TO BE? YOU WANT ME TO BE DIRTY? HUH?" His voice calmed down. "You are a little traitor! You are a traitor pig! I can't even look at you any more!" He turned around. "I gotta pause it," he said to no one. "Thanks for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face. If you sneezed during this video, bless you! Peace off. BOOP!"
The Adventures of Ponybuscus
"Hello once again, audience!" Tobuscus yelled. "When we left off, I was talking to this unicorn and... Uhh... I just didn't have the attention span for it. So, I came over here and I met this amasing pig and we had a great time until he turned out to be a TRAITOR!" He raised his voice at the pig that was still trapped in its pen. "I'm sure he's learned his lesson," Tobuscus announced. "but I don't think I'm ready to forgive him yet..." He looked back at the pig. "Why don't you just escape dude?" He asked.
The pig snorted.
Toby continued, "Dude, I could get in and out of there easily. You are a little failure pig!"
The pig turned around.
"That's right! You think about what you've done, you little traitor pig!" Tobuscus yelled. "Anyway, I read the comments, and by that I mean I read one comment, and all of them said the same thing, so it was like reading all of them. So, according to you guys I am in Sweet Apple Acres. That would explain all of the sweet apples... and the acres." He looked around at the trees, then looked to the ground. "Is this like Minecraft? Can I dig down to find diamonds? Uh, I want a bunch of freaking diamonds so that I can put them on my body... Is this game like Minecraft at all? Hopefully not, because I die in that game a lot."
With nothing to stimulate his brain, Toby went back to looking around at the trees that surrounded him. "Okay, so these are apple trees, and apples are food. How do I get the apples? I want to put them in my pocket! Do I jump up and grab them? Let's try that." He bent down and leaped vertically as high as he could. "Booya!" He said quickly before landing on the ground again and accomplishing nothing. "Awww, come on!" he moaned. "How am I supposed to get those freaking apples? They're way too high! I need stilts. Do ponies have stilts? Probably not. That would be really dangerous... Uh! Now I really want stilts! ...Do I need food in this game? Can I starve to death? Oh, no! I am terrible at keeping track of when I need to eat. I'm gonna freaking die!"
He had a momentary pause in his talking. "Hmm, let us see what kind of inventory system this game uses." He said as he stood still and stared into space. "Let's see... We go to the pause menu... Then we go to character... Aha! I have found you inventory!" he said in an excited voice. "Let's see what I have in my possession... Nothing? Perfect! That's fan-freaking-tastic! I'm freaking poor. I'm like that one homeless man who broke his pickaxe. Do you remember that story? That was a long time ago. It was a true story, a true story that happened a long time ago... in the land of Kingdombuscus. I made it into a book and I sold like a million copies. But then I got sued, because the old man found out about the book and he was like, 'Hey there, Buscus. Why are you selling my stories without my permission?' And of course I ran away, because he had a broken pickaxe, and those are like a million times more deadly than a normal pickaxe." He stopped talking for a few more seconds. "Wow," he exclaimed. "I have a lot of room in my invintory considering that I have no pockets. Wait a second, am I wearing clothes? Oh, no! I'm freaking naked! I am a little nudist! That's gross! This game is gross!"
He started to pace around a tree for no good reason. "Okay, this is what I'm gonna do in this episode. I'm gonna find some freaking clothes, and I'm gonna put it on my body... Do I need one pair of pants or two? Uh! I don't even know how many pairs of pants I need! I'll get two just to be safe. After I get some pants, I'm gonna find out what I'm supposed to do, and I'm gonna vanquish all of the evil murder demons, and all of the ponies will worship me, and I will become their king, and then I'm gonna end this run-on sentance. I'm getting stuff done in this episode!"
"Oink!" the pig snorted.
"You shut your mouth, pig!" Tobuscus commanded. "Listen to him. He thinks he's all that. Well, you know what?" He began to shout again, "YOU ARE ALL THAT! And when I say that, I mean failure. You are all failure, mister pig!" His voice calmed. "Can I call you mister pig?" he asked. "I don't know if that's offensive or not. I guess it isn't. You know what, mister pig? I'm going to call you Bilbo! Bilbo the thi-"
'Thunk!' His pointless rant was interrupted by a loud thumping sound.
"Oh, God! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Toby screamed. "Is that a freaking murder demon?"
'THUNK!'
"Are you a murder demon?" Toby asked out in the direction of the noise. "What if that isn't a murder demon, and it gets offended? Oh, no! That would be so embarassing! I'm sorry if you aren't actually a demon!"
Tobuscus replied to himself in an old man's voice, "I forgive you, Tobuscus."
Then, he spoke in his normal voice, "How do you know my name?"
"Because, I'm your great grandfather. Your long lost great grandfatherbuscus. My name is Bilbo."
"No way! I was about to use that name for a pig!"
"I actually am a murder demon, though."
"Well, yeah. I mean that was obvious."
"I've been alive for five hundred years!"
"Wow! Good for you, man. That's impressive!" Toby replied to himself. "What are you doing here?"
"I don't know... I forget things sometimes. It comes with being old."
"Well, okay, grandpabuscus. I have to go now. I need to find out what this noise was."
"Okay, Tobuscus. Good luck."
"Okay, fine. Good God, will you shut up?" Toby said to himself before taking a deep breath. He had just had an entire conversation with himself and for him, that was completely normal.
He started to walk to the sourse of the thumping noise. He had no idea what he was doing, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
'THUNK!' The red stallion kicked the trunk of another apple tree. Red Delicious apples fell from its leaves and piled perfectly into a wicker basket. He stopped when he heard a strange voice.
"Wow! You are strong!" The voice said. "Is that an apple on your butt? That's silly. You're silly." Tobuscus walked into view around a tree. "Hey, do you have any pants? Are you naked too? Wow, everyone here is naked! That's gross. PUT SOME PANTS ON, YOU LITTLE NUDIST!"
The stallion didn't say anything. He just looked at Toby with a confused expression.
"What time is it?" Toby asked to himself. "I gotta pause it. Thank's for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face. If you sneezed during this video, bless you. Peace off. BOOP!"
The Adventures of Ponybuscus
"Hello once again, audience!" Toby said as the red stallion watched him. "When we left off, I accomplished absolutely nothing and I realized that I was naked, but I discovered my long lost great grandfatherbuscus, so I think it was a win. It's important to keep things positive."
The red stallion picked up the basket of apples with his mouth. Toby watched him and said, "Did I forget to mention? I also found this guy here... or girl. I can't really tell. It's probably a guy. He has green apples on his butt. That is awesome! How did he get those? Is that a tattoo? Did you get a tattoo? You did, didn't you! You are irresponsible!"
The stallion did the best he could to ignore Toby, and began to walk away with the basket of apples.
"Okay, this is what I'm gonna do," Toby said. "I'm gonna follow this red guy with the apples on his butt, and hopefully he will lead me to a magical place that gives me like a million diamonds and lets me beat the whole game, and then I'm gonna fall in a pit of lava, because that always happens... Uh, I got minecraft on the brain!"
Toby was silent for only a few seconds as he followed the red stallion. "Oh, I feel a song coming on!" he announced. He cleared his throat and started to sing.
"He has ap-ples
No, I don't know why he has apples on his butt!
This is a song about the apples on his butt!
"Ha ha..." He chuckled. "That was a song that I heard... about a legend, a legend that was based on a true story about a legend. Obviously I didn't just make that song up on the spot, because if I did, it would have been beautiful."
The red stallion walked into a clearing in the trees. Inside the clearing was a huge, red barn next to a dirt road. He set the basket of apples on a tree stump, then his glared at Toby with tired eyes.
"What are you looking at, huh?" Toby asked. "You looking at me? HUH!? ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME!? ...That guy or girl is full of him or herself. I wrote a freaking song for you! You're welcome. Most people have to pay like a million dollars for that sort of thing."
Another pony came into view from behind the barn. She was also an earth pony with a light orange coat and a brown cowboy hat. She spoke with a southern accent. "Hey there Big Mac," she said. "Who's that you got with ya?"
The red pony looked like he was going to say something, but he was quickly interrupted by Toby. "Okay, so that's a girl." He stated. "Is there a way to tell other than the voice? Is it the nose? Is that how you tell genders, nose size? That makes sense. People are that way too."
Now the mare was confused.
"Hey, girl," Toby said. "What you doin', girl? Got a little hat on to keep you cool? Tha's nice. Tha's reeeeeeal nice!"
Now she was uncomfortable. She did her best to stay polite and keep things from getting more awkward. "So... Um... My name's Applejack..."
"Oh! I love cerial!"
"...Uhuh... Anyway, that there is my brother, Big Mac." She pointed at the red stallion.
"Big Mac? You mean like the burger?" Toby asked. "Is everyone in your family a kind of food?"
"Big Macintosh," Applejack explained.
Toby said nothing.
"It's a kind of apple." She continued to explain.
"Well duh!" Toby exclaimed. "Of course I knew that. Everybody knows that! ...PFFFT!"
Applejack smiled awkwardly. "So, what's your name?"
Immediately after she asked that, Toby yelled, "TOBUSCUS! Yes! I knew she was gonna ask that! I was totally ready for her to ask that!"
"Good... job, Tobuscus," Applejack replied.
"You can just call me Toby. You special, girl."
Applejack quickly changed the subject again. "So, what'd ya come here for?"
Toby started talking to himself again. "Where are the dialog options? There's usually a list of things that I can say. Is she really able to understand what I say through my mic? That is awesome! How do they do that?"
"Who are you talking to?" Applejack asked. "What's all this about dialog options and mics?"
Toby yelled, "NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS, YOU NOSY LITTLE BISCUIT!"
Applejack inched closer to her brother and whispered, "Did he just call me a biscuit?"
"Eeyup." Big Mac replied.
"Did he act like this earlier?"
"Eeyup."
Applejack turned back to Toby, who had gotten bored and began spinning in circles. "Excuse me." She said slightly impatiently. Toby stopped spinning and looked at her. "You never explained why you were here, Toby."
"Didn't I?"
"No... You didn't."
"I knew that!" Toby exclaimed. "Totally knew that!"
"So... Are you gonna tell us?"
"Does it really matter?" Toby asked as he gazed at the clouds. Applejack looked up too, just to see if there was anything to look at in the sky. There wasn't. "I mean... When you really think about it, isn't the reason that you do something just an excuse? And... Aren't excuses the thing that we were taught as children not to make? So, when you really, really think about it, having a purpose for doing something is like giving an excuse, and you only give excuses if you do something wrong. The end!" He quickly turned his head, still looking at the sky. Before Applejack could respond to what he had said, he yelled, "Ooh! What is that!"
Toby was looking at a blue streak flying through the air. It slowed down when it was over the farm. When it was visible, it looked like a pony with multicolored, rainbow hair, but it also had wings, a thing that Toby hadn't seen yet.
"What the balls!? A flying pony!" Toby cried. "That is awesome! Unless it kills me. That would be a lot less awesome. Is that gonna kill me?"
Applejack ignored what Toby was saying and spoke to the flying mare, "Rainbow Dash..."
"Rainbow Dash? That's an awesome name!" Toby interrupted.
"What are you doing here?" Applejack continued.
"It's Twilight!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "She got a letter from the princess. She says its urgent! We need to go now!"
Rainbow Dash and Applejack both began to make their way to town as fast as they could with Toby tring to keep up with them. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!" He yelled. "Wait up!" He started to catch up with them once they left the orchard. "I gotta... Shut up, Griffon! I gotta pause it. Thanks for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face! If you sneezed during this video, bless you! Peace off. BOOP!"
The Adventures of Ponybuscus
Twilight's home was a hollowed out tree with rows of books neatly stacked from wall to wall. Aside from that, there were seven ponies inside of it: Toby; Applejack; Rainbow Dash; Twilight, the unicorn Toby had spoken to before; and three others, another winged pony with pink hair, a normal pony with a pink coat, and a unicorn with a white coat and curly white hair.They were all staring at Toby, and for a good reason. He was talking to himself.
"Hello once again, audience!" He said.
"Who is he talking to?" The white coated unicorn whispered to Twilight. She didn't respond.
"When we left off, I was chasing two ponies, and they were going really fast. And I just... just the thought of all that physical activity makes me feel..." He crouched down and made a few fake vomiting sounds. "Bllluuugggrrr! Bllluuugggrrr!" He sniffled, "Whoo! I feel better now! Where was I? Oh yeah. I read some of the comments, and a lot of you are saying that the link to download this game is broken, and it doesn't send you anywhere. I promise I'm gonna look into that. And you know what happens when I promise something... I completly forget about it. Think about it. That's always what happens."
The white unicorn leaned toward Applejack. "Is he... is he talking to himself?" She asked.
"I think you know the answer to that, Rarity," Applejack replied.
Twilight recognized Toby from earlier that day. In addition to being a strange pony that talked to himself, he had seemed to be confused and a little bit lost. She looked at Applejack and asked, "Why did he come here with you?"
Applejack shrugged, "He followed me. Explaining things to him just seemed like a waist of time."
"I can believe that," said Twilight. She turned to Toby, who had already begun to survey the room. "Why are you here?" she asked. "Do you even know?"
"My name... Is Toby," he said. "I have come to murder demons and eat buscuits! And I'm all out of biscuits!"
"I like him!" the pink pony exclaimed.
Twilight attempted to draw some sense from what he had said. "Were you sent from the princess? Are you here to tell us about the swarm?"
"The what?" Toby asked.
"That would be a no," Rainbow Dash commented. "He clearly isn't supposed to be here Twilight! We should just kick him out and get back to buisness!"
"That is your oppinion," said Toby.
Rainbow Dash sighed and covered her eyes with her hoof.
"We don't have time for any of this!" Twilight exclaimed. "We should have left an hour ago!" She turned her back to Toby and adressed her five friends. She began to explain what was so important. "Do you remember what happened at the..."
Toby wasn't listening to her as she talked. Instead, he was looking around at the bookshelves. "Let's see..." He said to himself. "Is this like Skyrim? Do I just look at books and then level up? That would be awesome! How do I pick up books? How do ponies use books without fingers? That makes no sense."
Meanwhile, Twilight was still talking to her friends. "... And that's all that the letter said," she continued. "The princess can explain more when we get to the castle."
"Guys!" Toby yelled. He was looking out the window. "Does that yellow, flying pony with the pink hair have a twin sister?"
Rainbow Dash looked at Toby, then at the pink haired pegasus in the room.
"I don't know what he's talking about," the yellow pegasus said nervously.
"I see her in the room..." Toby began. "But she's also outside..."
"Let me see!" Applejack demanded as she ran to the window. Sure enough, she saw her friend outside leading a family of ducks down a dirt road.
"Care to explain that, Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash demanded. She turned to where the pegasus had been standing, but she was nowhere to be seen. "Where'd she go?" She exclaimed.
Everyone in the room began to frantically look around the library. "I don't see her!" Twilight cried.
"That's 'cus the real Fluttershy's outside!" said Applejack. "This one's a fake. That's why she's hiding! Rainbow Dash musta' grabbed the wrong Fluttershy!"
"Yeah, like it's my fault!" Rainbow Dash snapped.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Toby yelled.
"Were you even listening to me?!" Twilight demanded.
"PFFFT! I can't listen to drawn out explinations. My brain works too fast!" Toby replied. He looked up at the ceiling and screamed, "OH GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"
The other five ponies looked up in the direction Toby was staring. They saw something that they all had hoped they would never see again. A pitch black changeling with leathery wings and green eyes was crawling on the ceiling like an insect. It looked back at them when it was detected and hissed like a snake.
"Wow," Toby said. "That thing has a lot of holes in its legs!"
The changeling set its sights on the window. The only thing in its way from freedom was a thin sheet of glass and Toby. It pushed off the ceiling and shot itself toward the window like an arrow.
"Look out!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Why?" Toby asked before he saw the changeling flying straight at him. "No, No, No, GODDANG IT!" Toby yelled without enough time to react. The changeling crashed into Toby and rammed him into the wall. Toby grabbed onto its neck and held on for dear life. The changeling then began to wildly slide him up and down the wall to shake him loose.
"Toby, just let go!" Applejack yelled.
"I'm hitting the booya button!" Toby cried. "IT ISN'T WORKING!"
Toby kicked off of the wall with his back legs, throwing the changeling off balance and causing it to bend bacwards. "AWW YEAH!" Toby yelled. "TOBY SMASH!" He bared down with all of his weight and rode the changeling into the groundd with a loud thud. The changeling stopped moving. Toby stood himself up and basked in the glory of his victory. "YES! AWW YEAH!" He cried. "I don't know who that guy was, and I don't know why we were even fighting, but I aint even care! I aint even care!"
The other five ponies looked at him with genuine surprise.
"WHATCHU GOT!?" Toby yelled at the limp changeling. "WHATCHU GOT!?"
The door to the library slowly opened. Standing in it was the real Fluttershy. "Is every pony okay?" she asked in a soft voice. "I heard crashing sounds and I thought something bad was happening, but if everything's okay, I'm sorry for intruding."
"Aww! You are just a little cutie!" Toby said.
Fluttershy looked down and backed up. "Um... Thank you," she whispered.
Twilight put a map and a few other items in her saddlebag and headed to the door. "We need to leave now!" she said.
"Can I come?" Toby pleeded.
"That depends," Twilight said, "If you stayed here, would you accidently set the town on fire."
"I think that is probably a safe bet." Toby admitted.
"Well then, I suppose you're coming with us. Alright everybody let's..."
"I gotta pause it," Toby interrupted. "Thanks for watching! click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face. If you sneezed during this video, bless you! Peace off. Boop!"
The Adventures of Ponybuscus
Toby was trailing a few feet behind Twilight and her friends. They were traveling to Canterlot on a wide dirt road. Ponyville was no longer in sight, and it hadn't been for quite some time.
"Hello once again, audience!" Toby said. Applejack was the only one who was already used to him saying that every ten or so minutes. "When we left off, I fought a flying ninja pony of darkness. Actually, I think we just left him on the floor, but I'm sure that will work itself out. Now, we're walking along the road... the road of destiny. I actually started recording earlier, but nothing interesting was happening. I even tried to make a walking song, but I couldn't think of any good words that rhyme with "Walking". We've been walking for a really long time!"
"Uhh!" Rainbow Dash grunted. "He talks to himself more than Pinkie Pie does!"
"Don't listen to her, Pinkie. You don't talk to yourself," said Pinkie.
"THAT ONE'S PINKIE PIE!" Toby yelled as he pointed to the Pink pony. "I learned their names! You guys know how much I like learning! Look at me learning stuff! I've already gotten something done in this episode! I should just pause it now and end this episode on a high note. Okay, here's the plan. I'm gonna do nothing significant for the rest of the episode, because if I start doing things, I'm gonna completely finish the game in one episode. That wouldn't be any fun. Let's be honest."
"Oh, great!" Toby exlaimed randomly. "Someone's mowing the lawn!"
Twilight looked around to see what Toby was talking about, but saw nothing.
"It is seven thirty in the morning on a Wednessday!" Toby yelled at no one. "WHY ARE YOU MOWING THE LAWN!? My neighbors love it when I yell at them. YOU ARE DOING THIS EVERY DAY! GRASS DOESN'T GROW THAT FAST HERE! GRASS DOESN'T GROW THAT FAST ANYWHERE!"
"Um..." Fluttershy said as she tried to approach Toby, but she jumped back when he started to yell again.
"OH, PERFECT! Now someone else is mowing the lawn too! Can you hear that? They're having a lawn mowing party! I kind of want to join them now, aside from the physical labor part... Let's go ask some questions while we wait, shall we?" He cleared his throat for no particular reason an walked next to Twilight. At first, Twilight wanted to avoid a conversation with him, but then she decided that it would be better than him talking to himself.
"Yes," she said to Toby. "Is there something you need?"
"Questions! I have questions!" Toby announced.
"I'm quite good with those," Twilight said with a hint of pride. "What do you want to know?"
"I would like to know exactly what that murder demon that attacked me at the library was; and skip the boring parts please."
"Murder demon? Do you mean the changeling?" Twilight asked.
"So that's what the kids are calling them these days," said Toby.
"Um... yes," Twilight said dismissively. "They're nasty, insect-like creatures that can copy the voice and appearance of anypony they see."
"Oh my God!" Toby exclaimed. "Is this gonna be like that part in Fringe - SPONSOR! - where that guy got copied by that other guy and it took everyone like five episodes to figure it out?"
"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, but I think you're as close to understanding this as you're going to get," said Twilight.
"Can they explode?" Toby asked.
"... Not that I know of..." Twilight said confused.
"Phew!" Toby said with relief. "That's good! I have very bad luck with exploding things."
"Uhuh," said Twilight, who was no longer listening to him.
"Hey, Twilight," Rainbow Dash said as she tapped her friend on the shoulder. "Are these the same changelings that crashed your brother's wedding?"
"I heard that!" Toby announced. "What's all this about brother wedding crashes? Are you holding out on me? HUH?"
"We had some trouble with changelings a few months ago," Twilight explained. "But that's nothing either of you need to worry about. It's possibly, but highly unlikely. There's probably hundreds of changeling hives scattered across the world. What are the odds of seeing the same one twice?"
"Probably about the same odds as... GRIFFON, YOU SHUT YOUR LITTLE DOGGY MOUTH! I'M MAKING A VIDEO!" Toby screamed at nobody.
"Aww!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Griffon looks adorable!"
"Um... What are you talking about?" Toby asked.
"Your dog, silly!" said Pinkie. "He's so small and fluffy!"
"Oh, Pinkie, what are you talking about?" asked Rarity.
"You can't see it?" she asked. "Aw, that's too bad. He's super adorable!"
"Okay... That's creepy," Toby said before walking past Pinkie.
The road got steep as they started to walk up a high hill. Rainbow Dash flew up in the air far above Toby's head. She looked around for less than a second before saying, "We're here! I see Canterlot over that hill!"
"Canterlot?" Toby said as Twilight rushed past him to the top of the hill. "That's a beautiful name!"
Toby and the others caught up with Twilight. The city of Canterlot was clearly visible, stretching out of the side of a nearby mountain. Its buildings were made of marble and stone, and the city had a well placed waterfall flowing down its center. Twilight pointed to the largest building, a marble castle with four towers on each of its corners. "That's Canterlot castle," she said to Toby. "That's were we're going."
"Wow!" Said Toby. "That city is so nice, I think should sing about it."
"Please don't," said Applejack as she continued along the path.
"You're no fun!" Toby said disappointed.
With Applejack now in the front, the seven ponies walked along the rest of the path. Toby was humming a song that none of the others recognized and tried to ignore. After a little more than a minute, the dirt road changed to a marble path. They had made it to Canterlot with surprisingly little incident.
"Hold on, what time is it? I gotta pause it," Toby said. "Thanks for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video. Bless your face! If you sneezed during this video, bless you! Peace off. BOOP!"
The Adventures of Ponybuscus
"Hello Once again, audience!" Tobuscus said with cheer. He was standing on a stone walkway in front of a set of stairs. At the top of the stairs was the Canterlot Castle. In full view, it was much more impressive than it looked from a distance as it towered over the rest of the city. His six companions were already making up the stairs while he continued talking. "When we left off, I was walking a lot. In fact, that's just about the only thing I did in the last episode. Nothing was accomplished. You can probably skip that episode and it wouldn't make a difference. Well, I mean it's too late now, because you're probably watching these in order, but hey, useless episodes are half the fun. They don't have any of that silly progress in the way to distract you from how awesome I am."
"Toby, we're in a bit of a hurry!" Twilight called from atop the stairs.
Toby began to follow her up the stairs saying, "Why do ponies even use stairs? I can't even use stairs with two legs without falling. This is dangerous!" When he reached the top, he immediantly saw the grand entrance to the Canterlot Castle. It was adorned with gold and Ivory at all of its edges. There was another, much shorter staircase that lead to the entrance. "OOH! DOUBLE DOORS! That is awesome! You know how much I love double doors! That is like my favorite ammount of doors!"
The other six had already started to enter the Castle, Twilight was last and she waited for Toby before going in. Toby walked inside and she closed the door behind them.
"Maybe he should stay here." Rarity whispered to Twilight. "He doesn't seem to have an off switch no matter who he's talking to."
"You're probably right," Twilight replied. "It's best that we avoid letting him act like this around the princess."
They both looked at Toby. He was staring at the two guards that were ptotecting the door to the throne room. Both of the guards were white pegasi with golden armor covering most of their bodies. Remarkably, Toby wasn't talking. He was just moving back and forth and watching their eyes follow him.
"Toby, I think you should stay here instead of going with us." Twilight said.
"Aww! Why?" Toby asked dissapointed.
Twilight thought of a responce. "Well, she isn't expecting to see you, and we really don't have time to explain why you're here."
Toby started to talk to himself again. "Is this part of the story? Am I not allowed to go to the meeting? Will the game even let me? Uhh! I really should have read more about this before I downloaded it!"
While Toby talked to himself, Twilight walked past Toby and opened the door to the throne room. The other five mares walked past her into the grand hall where Celestia sat. Twilight was still holding the door open and looking at Toby. "It's very important that you don't interrupt this." She added. "Do you understand?"
"PFFT! Of course I understand!" said Toby. "I promise!"
Twilight looked at him sceptically, but closed the door instead of saying anything else, leaving Toby by himself aside from the two guards at the door.
Toby looked around the room after only a few seconds of silence. He saw nothing to entertain himself. All he saw was some furniture and a few paintings. "Oh.... FUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" He yelled. "This place is perfect! I love this game! It has walking... and more walking... And now it even has a waiting room! If this turns out to be a puzzle game, I am going to pee all over my keyboard!"
Toby walked around the room twice, constantly looking up to see if anything changed on the ceiling. Nothing did. After passing a green stain glass window twice, he finally noticed it. It was on the opposite side from the entrance, offering a view of the inside of the the throne room.
"Holy interior window!" Toby exclaimed. "Why would anyone even build that? Is it for symmetry? You guys know how much I love symmetry!"
He walked to the window and brought his head as close to it as possible. His nose bumped against the glass, but he didn't notice. Everything he saw on the other side had a green tint, but he could still easily make out what he was looking at. His six Ponyville friends were standing in a half circle in front of the princess. They seemed to be listening to the princess speak, but Toby couldn't hear a word that she said. The princess was a tall, white alicorn with a multicolored pastel mane and tail. She had a horn and a set of brilliant wings, but Toby was focused on only one facial feature, her long and flat nose.
"Why is her nose shaped like that?" He asked himself. "Isn't that a guy nose? Shouldn't her nose be short and round? I thought noses were the way to tell genders apart. I don't understand." He looked away from the window and went back to looking around the room. "Well, this is boring." He stated. "Am I supposed to wait, or is there something I need to do? Maybe there's something in my inventory that I can use..." He stood perfectly still and continued talking. "Let us see what... OH! What is that? A flower!? Where did I get a flower? ...'would you like to equipt this item?' Of course I would! Gimme gimme, thank you!" A small, red rose appeared out of thin air into his now outstreached hoof. The two guards looked at each other and then stared at the flower in amazement.
"YAY!" Toby screamed in excitement. "I have a flower! Look everybody! I have a flower!" He dropped the flower on the ground near the guards' hoofs and started bouncing in a circle. "Yay!" he cried. "We're on a merry-go-round of friendship! Dance with me! DANCE WITH ME!"
The guards stared at the flower then went back to pretending that Toby wasn't there. It was becoming more difficult now that he was dancing in front of them.
After Toby finished his third circle, he was interrupted by a loud crashing sound. It sounded lie breaking glass. Before he could stop and exclaim, "What was that?" the sound interrupted him again... and again.
"WHAT IS THAT NOISE?" He yelled. The two guards had run out of the room toward the sound, though Toby didn't even notice them leave. "ARE YOU GUYS HAVING A WILD PARTY IN THERE?" He walked over to the window saying, "You guys know what I said about wild parties! Never have them unless I'm invited and there's free food." At this point, Toby could barely hear himself talk because the castle was filled with the sounds of glass breaking and an eery buzzing noise that Toby failed to notice.
He looked through the interior window again to see that the Grand Hall was much less orderly than it was before. The room was filled with changelings, at least a hundred of them. They created a constant haze of black as they buzzed through the room as if they were a storm cloud. There was no sign of any of the ponies who were previously in the room, aside from a few flashes of yellow and purple light. Toby, who hadn't been paying attention to anything up to this point, had absolutely no idea where they came from or even why they were there. "Holy murder balls! What is... how the... WHEN DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?" He screamed.
Toby remembered that fighting just one of these creatures was difficult enough and running into a room filled with a hundred of them would easily result in death. With that line of logic, he ran into a room filled with a hundred of them. He opened the now unguarded doors and took two steps into the room. Before he could yell booya, he was completely surrounded by changelings. The only thing he could see was their black bodies and blue wings.
Struck with the realization of exactly what he had gotten himself into, Toby tried to push his way back to the door. He had forgotten wich direction the door was in, and the changelings made it impossible to see where he was. He just ran in a random direction that looked right. "No, no, no, don't kill me!" He screamed after being nocked over and working back to his hoofs. "You suck! You all suck!"
After being nocked over a few more times, he saw his best chance to get out. A window was in view, the glass had been completely shattered and it was more than large enough for him to jump through. Any other escape was crawling with changelings.
Toby picked himself back up and took two, small steps back. "It's okay guys!" He said to no one. "I saw this in a video game!"
He ran forward, pushing past a few changelings, and lept into the window. What Toby hadn't noticed was that the window that he had jumped out of was facing the cliff's steep drop. There was no ground beneath him for hundreds of feet. As he lept out the window, he began to yell, "BOOYAAAA-" Then he looked down. "AAAA-I'M DEAD!!!!!!!!" He flailed his front legs helplessly. His hind hoofs were briefly caught on the window frame, causing him to slam into the side of the castle. He closed his eyes and expected to fall to his death, but when he looked down he saw that he wasn't falling. His front hoofs were latched onto a low hanging flag pole, and hugging it tightly. "SHIFT!" he yelled. "SHIFT is the grab onto things button!" He looked to his left to see a solid marble platform only a few feet away, but it was still out of his reach. His grip began to slip. "NO, SHIFT! DON'T LET ME DOWN! I NEED YOU!" He cried.
"When was the last time I saved the game? Have I ever saved the game?" He asked. "Oh no! OH NOOOOO!" He looked down and quickly turned away. "Hee hee..." He said nervously. "I gotta freaking pause it. Thanks for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face. If you sneezed or fell out of a window into a death hole during this video, bless you... URGH! ...Peace the hell off... Boop."
The Adventures of Ponybuscus
"H-hello once again audience..." Toby said, still dangling from the flagpole over the cliff-face. "When we left off... this happened, and I-" His grip slipped further. "NO, DON'T KILL ME! Goddang it, Shift key! You are ruining my life right now!" He tried to climb further up the pole with no success. "Did I ever save the game?" He asked. "I can't even remember!"
He began to notice that the buzzing noise from inside the castle was getting louder. It sounded like something was right behind him making the awful noise! He slowly turned his head to the left. Right in front of his nose he saw the green eyes and dark leathery skin of a changeling. They were so close that their noses were practically touching. The changeling opened its mouth and hissed, showing its long, sharp fangs.
Changelings can fly and that was exactly the thing that Toby needed. He had an idea and decided it was his best bet.
"Heeeeeeeeey there little guy!" He said with fake cheer. "Look at you! You're cute!"
The changeling looked at Toby confused.
"Hey, come here! Come here, little guy!" Toby continued, speaking as if he were talking to a puppy. "It's okay! Come here. Trust me. Trust me!"
The changeling tilted its head and stared at Toby for a few seconds, then opened its mouth again and hissed even louder than before. With a quick burst of speed, the creature darted at Toby and head butted into his chest. Toby immediately let go of the flagpole and latched his front hoofs around the changeling's neck. The changeling reacted violently, spinning around and shaking at an attempt to get Toby to let go.
"WHHHHHEEEEEEEEEW!" Toby cried out at the top of his lungs. "Oh, you are getting OWNED, murder creature of darkness! Obey my commands! Ride me to safety!"
The changeling lost its energy from trying to fly with so much added weight and began to decend, despite its best efforts to keep in the air. Both Toby and the changeling started to go down toward the bottom of the cliff bellow. The more the changeling expended his energy, the faster they fell.
"What are you doing!" Toby demanded. "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! YOU ARE SO FIRED! DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN THIS DANGEROUSLY DESIGNED CITY AGAIN!"
The changeling opened its jaws to slap at Toby's head, but before its teeth could even touch his mane, a large, white pegasus dressed in gold armor slammed into the creature, shoulder first. This caused Tobys grip to loosen greatly as he swung to the left with his front legs extended as far as they could go.
"WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW!" Toby demanded.
The changeling had no time to retaliate as the pegasus hooked onto Toby's shoulders and started to fly him back up to the city. The changeling looked up and rubbed his head. After a moment, the changeling reoriented itself and darted away.
The pegasus lowered Toby down on a part of the city that he did not recognize. The castle could not be seen over the tops of the tall buildings around them. When Toby's hoofs touched solid ground, he turned around to look at the pegasus who had carried him there.
The stallion looked a lot like the guards in the castle. He had their same gold armor, blue hair and yellow eyes. He must have been a guard as well.
Toby was about to say something, but the guard spoke first. "You. Are you all right, citizen?" he asked.
"Pffft! Of course I'm okay!" Toby said. "I'm the main character."
"You were at near the castle when the attack began, correct?" the guard questioned. "There's no way that big of a hoard could have come in unnoticed! Can you describe how they got into the castle? Where they came from? Anything at all?"
"They were all having a wild party and it wasn't my fault this time." Toby answered. "Also, the princess kind of looks like a dude."
The guard stared at Toby blankly for a moment. "Right..." he said. "I tell you what. You stay right here. This is the only safe part of the city. I haven't even been able to find any other guards. I fear this may be up to me now."
"You can't leave me by myself! My brain makes me do stupid things when I'm alone!" Toby said in a way that almost made it sound like was a normal thing to say. "You and I are going to be companion buddy pals, and I shall call you Guaaaaaaardbuscus!"
"Are you really certain that the changeling didn't hurt your head somehow?"
"I already like you better than Hunterbuscus. He was a little failure." Toby continued.
"Hunterbuscus?" the guard asked, slightly interested.
"Yeah, he was just this guy made of squares who was extremely unhelpful in my minecraft wor..."
"The mines!" the guard interrupted. "That's it!"
"Pffft! Well duh! I totally knew it was the mines the whole time!" Toby bragged as the guard ran past him. "Hey, where are you going!"
The guard stopped and looked back at Toby. "Stay here. Do not follow me!" he said before turning back and running through the empty streets.
"I choose to do the opposite of what he told me to do." Toby announced. He started to run, following the guard as best he could. He followed the guard at a distance for a few minutes, making turns through the street. He saw a few other ponies hiding inside of the various shops they crossed. The sky was dotted with changelings flying around in seemingly random patterns.
The guard suddenly stopped running when he neared a street corner and stood up against the wall of a flower shop. Toby walked up next to him and was immediantly shoved up against the wall by the angry guard.
"I told you to stay put!" he said in a hushed yell.
"Oh, come on, I can't stand still for that long. My brain works too fast!"
The guard let go of Toby and sighed. "Just stay quiet, keep your head down, and don't do anything stupid!"
"I can only guarantee one of those things." Toby said honestly.
The guard peeked around the corner of the flower shop and quickly turned back.
"I gotta pause it. Thanks for watching!" Toby blurted out loudly.
"Keep it down!" the guard demanded.
Toby whispered, "Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video. Bless your face. If you sneezed during this video, bless you. Peace off... Boop."
Author's Note
Sorry this chapter took so long. Two months of procrastination happened.
The Adventures of Ponybuscus
Toby began his intro in his usual manner. "Hello once again audience!" he began.
"For the last time, keep your voice down!" the guard commanded quietly but firmly. He started sticking his head around the corner of the flower shop again.
Toby continued much quieter. "When we left off, Guardbuscus saved my life. Not that I needed him to save me, of course. I was totally in control of the situation. I just let him think he was helping, you know, to humor him a little."
"I don't have time to force you to stay put," the guard admitted. "If you're going to follow me, you'd might as well make yourself useful." He jestured around the corner of the flower shop. "The entrance to Canterlot's abandoned mines is just around that corner. It's the only entry in the city..."
"Perfect," Toby interrupted. "I have a great history with abandoned mines."
The guard continued. "There's no way those changelings could have flown in here unseen. They've been moving under ground! This mine is the only underground system in Canterlot big enough for them to have done that. If they have been using the mines, the queen must still be in there."
"Okay, okay. GOT IT! All we have to do is go in there, fight through like a million waves of murder, potentially pee on ourselves, find the queen, and destroy her with epic-osity! Oh, she is going to GET IT!"
"No! We can't just jun strait through the mine!" the guard said. "That will never work. There are too many changelings for two ponies to handle!"
"That is your opinion," Toby said. Without warning, he ran around the corner of the flower shop before the guard could do anything to stop him. "IT'S OKAY!" he yelled. "I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE!"
Just like the guard had said, the only entrance to the abandoned mines in Canterlot was just around the corner. It was a large stone cave with rotting plywood covering the cave's mouth and a faded sign that said MINE with larger, red letters painted over it that said CLOSED. Three changelings were standing in front of the entrance. One was standing on top of the cave and two more were standing at its base. They looked extremely surprised to see Toby charging at them.
"Get back here!" The guard demanded; but it was too late. Toby was already on a collision course with the changelings.
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYA!" He cried at the top of his lungs as he ran. "COME GET IT!"
The three changelings hissed and, almost simultaneously, flew to at Toby in a group with their mouths opened.
Toby stopped running just before the creatures got to him and he held out his right front hoof, sticking it into the mouth of the closest changeling. The other two changelings stopped for a short moment. Toby stomped his right hoof on the ground, slamming the changeling's jaw into the dirt and creating a loud thudding noise.
The unfortunate changeling whimpered and crawled back to its comrades, rubbing its shattered jaw.
"OH YEAH!" Toby said with pride. "I read the help page! I actually know the controls to this game now!"
By then, the guard had caught up with Toby and was pleasantly surprised to see that he had held his own.
The two uninjured changelings wasted no more time. They both dove down and latched onto Toby while he was busy boasting. One of them clung to his neck and started to bite down while the other held onto his lower back and started to kick him.
Toby responded by frantically running around in a small circle screaming, "NO! GODDANG IT! STOP KILLING ME! THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! THIS WAS A FREAKING MISTAKE!"
The guard was trying to grab the changelings off of Toby, but everytime he was close enough to help, Toby ran out of reach. "Stand still!" The guard demanded.
"CAN'T STOP!" Toby answered. "PANICKING TOO MUCH! BRAIN FAILING!"
With no time for precision, the guard lept forward and slammed into Toby head first, knocking him down and causing the changelings to roll off of his back.
The two changelings slid across the ground and stopped when they hit the old wooden wall in front of the cave. The third changeling ran over to them, but did nothing to help them up.
Meanwhile, the guard had already helped Toby back up, and they were both facing the changelings.
"Don't worry," Toby said. "I have a plan."
"Please don't!" the guard pleaded.
"Too late. BOOOOOOOOYYYAAA!" Toby charged at the grouped up changelings, screaming at the top of his lungs once again. The changelings tried to scramble away, but only succeeded in pushing each other over. Toby rammed into all three of them with the top of his head. The force of the impact caused the old, rotten wood behind the changelings to give into the pressure and shatter into a shower of planks and splinters.
The guard ran up to the pile of wood to see Toby unharmed aside from a few small cuts and scrapes. He was looking around the debris.
"Where did they go!?" He asked. "Can changelings turn into wood too? Oh no! That's gonna make this search impossible!"
The guard was about to say something when he heard a loud bang followed by a hissing sound. The banging noicse happened again, this time louder. "Did you hear that Guardbuscus?" Toby asked. He had already begun walking across the pile of wood to find the sound's source. "It sounds like potential murder!"
After shifting through a few planks of wood, Toby found what he was looking for. A hole in the floor of the cave, no bigger than a mare was undoubtedly the source of the noise. Toby looked inside of it. It wasn't very deep, only about ten or so feet. At the bottom were the three changelings all trying to scale the wall at the same time, consiquentially getting in each other's way. Toby looked to the side and located a large, flat rock.
"Hey!" he said to the changelings as he walked over to the large rock. "Have you guys ever read 'The Casket of Amontillado?'" He used his front hoofs to tilt the rock upright, then let it fall over on it's other side closer to the hole. "You probable haven't," Toby continued with a chuckle. "I'll tell you all about it..." As he talked, he was slowly pushing the rock over the top of the hole. "So there was there was this guy who really doesn't like this other guy. So he chains him up and burried him alive, and the only thing he gives the other guy is a torch!" By then, he had almost completely covered the hole. "Well, I don't have any torches, but I'm sure you'll be fine." At this, he finished pushing the heavy stone over the hole, muffling the hissing noises of the changelings inside.
"Was that really necessary?" The guard asked.
"Of course it was!" Toby said. "I had to cover up that hole. Someone could have fallen in! It was for safety! Oh, by the way, I gotta pause it! Thanks for watching!"
"Who are you talking to-"
"Shushushush! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face. If you sneezed during this video, bless you! Peace off! Boop!"
Author's Note
That's right. After taking two months to finish one chapter, I did this one in about a week. I'm consistent.
The Adventures of Ponybuscus
Toby and Guardbuscus crept slowly through the seemingly empty and unending catacombs of the abandoned Canterlot mine. The guard seemed on edge, mainly due to the fact that they had yet to see any other changelings, but he knew that somewhere in the mines there were bound to be hundreds more.
"Hello once again, audience!" Toby said, repeating his usual intro yet again.
Before he could continue, the Royal Guard, who was walking in front of him, turned around and made a zipping gesture over his mouth. "Keep it down!" he whispered.
Without putting in much thought, Toby retaliated in a yell. “Oh, Would you just let me do my FREAKING INTRO!?!” he screamed.
The guard stopped dead in his tracks. He looked like he was about to say something, but he was quickly drowned out by the echoing sound of buzzing wings and angry hissing. Changelings were coming, hundreds of them.
"Oh God! What have you done, Guardbuscus?!?" Toby demanded.
The guard lost his calm composure and sn/ ped at Toby. "What have I done?" He said in a hushed yell. "What have You done! Don't you hear that sound? Do you know what's even happening?!"
"That is the sound of victory."
The guard raised his voice in frustration, "That's the sound of hundreds of hungry changelings coming to kill us!"
"That is what victory sounds like."
The tunnel in front of them suddenly became pitch black, but it was not because of the absence of light. The tunnel was covered wall-to-wall with changelings. Most of them couldn't even spread their wings because they were packed so tightly. The guard turned around to see the tunnel behind them was already blocked off as well. It was impossible to see where they were coming from, but it seemed like they came from everywhere.
"Well Guardbuscus," Toby said with his eyes fixated on the changeling horde, "the important thing here is not to panic... even though this is your fault."
Several of the changelings curled their lips and hissed at them, others began to growl. They were clearly agressive, but, for some reason, they were not moving any closer to Toby and Guardbuscus. However, they did not appear as if they would remain passive for long.
The guard ran his front hoof on the rocky ground readying himself for a hopeless fight. Meanwhile, Toby took a few steps forward, showing either a considerable amount of bravery or stupidity. "Don't worry." He said. "I got this."
Toby slowly made his way over to the nearest changeling. It was standing on the ground with a hunched posture like an angry cat. All of the changelings were locked in this position, waiting for a sudden movement to rile them up into a fury. Several of them seemed to be 'chatting' amongst themselves through a series of buzzing and hissing.
"What are you doing? You're going to get yourself killed!" The guard said to Toby. He was still speaking in a whisper so that he wouldn't anger the changeling horde.
"Don't you worry your pretty little biscuit!" Toby replied in a much louder tone. "I've done this before... Okay, I just lied, but I'm sure this will work out fine!" When Toby was close enough, he held out his right front leg and the changeling immediately started to back away. "No-no-no, shush-shush-shush! It's all okay." Toby said in a calm tone as he inched closer to it. "You can trust me! Come on! Come here you little cutie!"
The changeling stopped backing away when it was within a few feet of the rest of the horde. Instead, it curled up its teeth and growled at Toby. This tactic clearly didn't work because Toby walked even closer to it and started to pat it on the head. "Hey, I'm Toby." He said casually, much to the confusion of the onlooking guard.
We're surrounded by them and he's trying to make small talk! Nobody is actually this stupid, right? The guard thought to himself as he watched. He looked around at the changelings and could tell that they were all probably thinking the same thing.
"What's your name, little guy?" Toby asked. The only response he got was a violent hiss.
"That's a pretty name!" Toby said enthusiastically. "Do you come here often? This is a nice little... murder tunnel you have going on here. I mean, it could clearly use a little more-"
The changeling had had enough and bit into Toby's outstretched leg as he spoke. "GAH!" Toby yelled as he flung his leg around with the creature still clinging to it. His scream echoed throughout the mine. "What the hell!? STOP KILLING ME!!! YOU SUCK! GET IT OFF ME, GUARDBUSCUS! USE YOUR PONY MAGIC!"
The other changelings took the struggle as a perfect cue to start their assault. They jumped off the walls of the cave and quickly swarmed around Toby and the guard until they could see nothing but black.
"No... stop it!" Toby demanded as he turned around in all directions and realized that the swarming changelings were slowly enveloping around him. The only thing ge could see was their white teeth and blue eyes. "You guys are way too freaking violent! WHAT BUTTON DO I PRESS TO MAKE YOU STOP!!!"
The changelings stopped circling Toby and darted at him from all directions like a swarm of angry bees. Nothing could be seen or heard of the guard. Toby gave a few defensive kicks, but they were completly useless as several changelings enveloped around him and lifted him up to the roof of the cave.
"What are you doing? Stop it!" Toby demanded as he was helplessly flown deeper into the mine. He tried to struggle free, but all of his legs were held firmly in place by his capturers. "I was being nice to you! YOU GUYS SUCK AT SMALL TALK! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! YOU GUYS NEED BETTER SOCIAL SKILLS!"
With Toby unable to resist, and the guard nowhere to be found, the small group of changelings that were carrying Toby continued to carry him through the mine. "I can't even move! NONE OF THE BUTTONS ARE DOING ANYTHING! Is this a mini-movie? THIS MINI-MOVIE SUCKS! WHY IS PONYLAND SO VIOLENT? I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME ANYMORE!"
As Toby continued to complain, a green light began to grow in size at the end of the tunnel. Wherever he was being taken, they were getting very close.
"OH MY GOD! I HAVE TO FREAKING PAUSE IT!" Toby yelled, then he continued in a strangely calm tone. "Thanks for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face. If you sneezed during, or were captured by socially awkward murder bugs during this video, bless you! Peace off. BOOP!"