Redemption

by Moonshine9012

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Pipsqueak, Slice of Life, Sad, Princess Luna
Length: 4865

“Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of happy mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.” ― Bertrand Russell

When you have only memories of what once was, what can you do to help rid yourself of them?
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Just a one-shot my buddy Inferno and I cooked up (Mostly him, I just did the writing) Hope yall enjoy!

Published 2013-04-23 02:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-23 02:30:02 UTC

The Weepings of the Past

Just wanted to give a quick shout out to my bro, Inferno demon Dash, who came up with the idea for this story. Hope yall enjoy it!

Think back to your most vivid dream that you've ever had in your life. You know, the kind where you can't distinguish the differences between dreamland and reality. Good, now picture the reality of that dream and what it was like to experience it. Now that you've done that, do this: take the realness of that dream and turn it into your worst fears. Seriously, think about your worst, most horrifying fears then imagine having to relive them every time as you went to sleep. Not exactly a pretty picture, now is it?

If you can imagine that, then you know what it was like for Princess Luna to go to sleep every morning, just changing from one reality to another. It used to be that she could subdue the horrors that were her dreams and memories, place them behind some invisible wall inside of her head and lock them away. But no more. They assaulted her in her sleep, tormented her, just for her to wake up then have to go back to sleep and have them agonize her. This is the scenario we find her in, this one fateful night. Tonight is different though. Tonight, instead of being tormented alone, she will find somepony that understands her pain.

(A/N: I almost confused myself on this: yes, I have Luna sleeping at night when she's suppose to be awake but I figured it wouldn't really fit to do this kind of story in the day time.)

Redemption

The night was dark, stormy, and foreboding. It was an unusual summer evening in late July, the wind sweeping across the land as air currents pushed a huge storm from the Everfree Forest over Ponyville and Canterlot. The pegasis had left the storm be, as they had planned a similar one for the day after and just decided for this one to run it's course. Most ponies were already snuggled into their soft, comfortable beds, seemingly safe from the oncoming storm.

For one particular pony though, the situation was much different. Laying in her bed, hidden in her royal chambers, Princess Luna tossed and turned in her sleep. For you see, she was safe from the storm of wind, water, and air but not from the storm of the dreams, memories and illusions. For no one, whether person, pony, or any other creature, can escape the confines of their own mind.

She looked at the poor, pathetic pony kneeling before her, trembling. A wicked grin spread onto her muzzle as the pleadings of the mare reached her sensitive ears.

"Please! We never meant any disrespect! Please, spare me and my family!"

Nightmare Moon laughed coldly, sending the mare into sobbing fits.

"Ha! Thou thinkest thine pathetic whining shall do thou any good? Look around! Did it save thou's sun loving town?!"

Nightmare gestured at the burning village around them, the bodies of ponies clogging the streets from where she had massacred them. For since this was Celestia's favorite city, it had to burn like their beloved sun. She looked back at the mare cowering in front of her, then looked at the group of five children and an elderly pony behind her.

She laughed once more, emotionless and evil, before saying, "It did not save them. Nor shall it save thine family!"

Grabbing the mare by magic, Nightmare turned her around and planted her on the spot. Satisfied she would not move, she slowly walked towards the family. When the elder stepped in front to guard the young, Nightmare stabbed her through the neck without a second thought. Pulling her blood stained horn from the head, she walked past the body as it dropped to the ground. The children screamed as Nightmare shot a spell suspending each of them by the neck, as if by a rope.

The poor ones struggled for but a moment before the spark disappeared from their eyes and their jaws grew slack. Nightmare let the bodies fall to the ground, a tear strangely falling from her eye.

Turning back around, she looked at the mare frozen in place. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at the bodies of her family. Nightmare Moon cackled the most hideous laugh ever heard, tinged with evil, corruption, and the perverse pleasure of watching sun lovers die.

As she laughed, she shot a spell at the mare which lit her a blaze like the rest of her beloved town. The mare screamed and the beast continued her vile laugh, letting it echo in the night.

"Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!"

A horrified scream rang out across the castle, only to be masked by the booming of thunder. Princess Luna sat up right in her bed, breath coming in ragged gasps, tears streaming down her cheeks. She thought about her nightmare, no, her memory, and thought about the horrors she had committed. She thought of the town, a lost place that had long ago been claimed by nature, a place that no longer had a name for it was a place of great evil.

Still sobbing profusely, she focused on regulating her breathing and clearing her mind. After about ten minutes, she breathed normal, her mind was clear, her heart was pumping slowly and all that was left of her tears were streaks that had temporarily stained her fur.

Deciding that sleep would not come to her this night, she sighed deeply. Slowly rising from her bed, the princess walked to the front of her window. She looked out at the land covered by dark clouds and sighed once more. Her dreams had recently become ever more frequent and increasingly disturbing.

Her once impenetrable psych was now turning into a pile of jumbled, incoherent thoughts. No matter what she tried, she could no longer subdue them and nothing she did helped rid herself of them. She hadn't told any pony about her dreams; how could she? Her relations with most ponies were still a bit fragile after all this time and she didn't want to risk anything.

She had tried once before to tell Celestia but even then Luna was still too nervous and scared to speak. Every time she thought she could do it, she ended up just standing, her mouth agape, with no sound coming forth. Sighing once again, she lowered her head and tried to think of what to do and pass the time.

Her sleeping pattern had been so thrown off that she couldn't seem to remember what she did when she was awake at night. She looked at the grand father clock in the corner of her chambers and, seeing as it was not unreasonably late, she decided she would go and visit the park of Ponyville. The large clouds thundered, seeming to challenge the Princess to dare face the coming storm.

Luna snorted defiantly, and opened the window. Stepping onto the sill, she extended her graceful wings and took flight into the night.

Pipsqueak, a stallion of twenty-two, stepped out into the humid and windy July night, trying to clear his own thoughts. Now, Pipsqueak's thoughts were, by far, not even close to being the torment that was Luna's own but never the less, his thoughts still hurt him.

It had been a late night for Pip as he had just stepped out of Ponyville's only bar that was owned by the famous Vinyl Scratch or as most knew her: DJ PON-3. He could still hear the wubs inside the club and feel them vibrating through the street. He could still hear the cheers that accompanied the ending of the song; customers furiously applauding the brilliant DJ.

He would not, could not, be joining them tonight though. You see, tonight was the only night of the year he ever came out to a club or ever drank. Besides this night, he would not touch another drink but tonight he did, so he could wash away his sorrows. He was half smashed and on the verge of tears when he staggered out of the club.

"W-why?" the sober side of him quietly whispered as the drunken side let tears fall.

"Why?" he said louder, more clear, as he continued to sob.

Why did they have to be the ones to die? Why couldn't some other ponies taken their place? Why did that stallion just HAVE to get drunk and then try an' steal a chariot? Why did you try and stop him dad? Why? Why?! WHY?!

"WHY?!" he screamed into the night as he continued to half walk, half stagger towards the Ponyville park.

In the back of his mind was a small voice that seemed to slip past the pain filled memories. It repeated over and over: Your fault, it's all your fault. You let them die, you let them bleed to death. It's your fault, it's your fault, it's your fault!

Princess Luna flew low over the cloud covered land. In front of her lay the town of Ponyville, nestled next the looming trees of the Everfree Forest. As she looked at the town, she saw that most of the town buildings were dark, signaling their sleeping residents. Her stare held for a moment more; the town had grown since the last time she had visited. It had expanded more to the north, away from the looming forest.

Looking towards the part of town that was closets to the Everfree, she noticed one building in particular that didn't seem to be going dark anytime soon. She could faintly hear the stream of music emitting from club, strange and unfamiliar. Must be that new kind: dubstep I think it's called?

The electronic music had only just been invented a few months ago and it's popularity was rapidly growing like a wild fire. Luna was slowly learning to like it, much to the displeasure of her sister. The princess giggled, despite her current emotions, as she thought about Celestia scolding her: Luna, why must you insist on listening to this? One day your ears are going to go deaf and when that happens, don't come crying to me.

She indulged in her temporary relief before her horrible memories and dreams came slamming back into her head with renewed force. She tried to stifle a gasp as tears formed again in her eyes, as a new memory brought fresh pain and utterly destroyed her sense of peace. She adjusted her wings and soared away from the club and over to a place where she had found peace before.

Landing in the quiet park, Luna stumbled a little as she made her way towards a large oak that grew in the middle of the park, near the cobblestone pathway. She lay down beneath the sturdy tree, a silent sentinel of nature that observed all around. Putting her head on the ground, the princess gave in to the pain and let the flood gate of tears open, not trying to conceal them as before. Memory after memory assaulted her as she cried, occasionally letting out a gasp as her breath caught.

Nearby, unbeknownst to Luna, a young, half drunk stallion stumbled down the cobblestone path.

Pipsqueak tripped and stumbled down the cobblestone pathway in the Ponyville park. The young male had discarded his empty bottle long ago but had, surprisingly, still retained a level of soberness. As he trudged along, he gradually began to hear the sound of sobbing nearby. Confused, he followed the sound to the old oak tree near the path he was on. Coming to the base, his eyes widened and his mind cleared just a little as he beheld the Princess of the Night laying by the base of the tree.

Unaccustomed to the sight he beheld before him, Pipsqueak slowly and quietly walked up to the Princess and, being bold in his current state, quietly asked, "Princess, is there something wrong?"

The Princess hadn't seemed to have heard the stallion walk up and, as he spoke, shot up from where she lay and scramble backwards, blindly trying to get away. In her fright, she managed to trip over her own hooves and fall flat on her butt. Pipsqueak was too surprised by the sudden turn of events that all he could do was stare at her before coming to his senses and rushing to help her to all fours.

"Princess! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that! Are you all right?" he said in a hurry, picking her up to her hooves again.

Trying to salvage what regalness and dignity she had left, Luna replied, "I am quite alright, thank you but you should not have frightened me like that Mr...?"

Pipsqueak looked at her for a moment in confusion before saying, "Princess, don't you remember? It's me, Pip."

She too wore an expression of confusion for but a moment before her eyes widened in realization and a smile spread on her face. "Pipsqueak? Is that really you? It's been so long!"

Pip laughed a little as he said, "Yes, it's really me. Much different then how you remember me eh?"

The princess chuckled a little, despite her previous tears, and was able to put on a mask of happiness before replying, "Much different. You look so grown up now! I can't believe I never took a notice at all the Nightmare Nights over the past years, it feels like forever since we last spoke. Tell me, what's occurred since we last spoke?"

The stallion inwardly grimaced as she spoke, being reminded of his last very last Nightmare Night, the night of the accident. Still, he smiled and proceeded to tell the story of the last fourteen years of his life. He told her the story of how he had gotten his Cutie Mark of exploration: 'accidentally' falling asleep inside barrels that just so 'happened' to be aboard a ship bound for Draconia, the land of the Dragons across the Great Eastern Sea. He had returned to shore shortly after boarding the ship, Cutie Mark proudly displayed on his flank as Royal Guards carried him off.

He told her of how, because of his exploration, he had been noticed by the Guild of Explorers and was excepted into their fold. He explained that he was currently studying under the headmaster of the Guild as his personal student.

The princess listened intently throughout his story, the troubles of her thoughts temporarily pushed aside by her fascination. She was quiet during most of his tale, except to laugh at a few at his predicaments, which, for Pip's part, laughed at himself as well.

"..and that's basically the last years in a nutshell" Pip said, summing up his narrative.

"Most interesting indeed" the princess remarked.

The stallion was at a loss for words for a moment, a somewhat awkward silence enveloping them. Still feeling the partial buzz of his earlier drinking, he finally asked, "So what about you princess? What's been going on in your life the past few years?"

The princess laughed and said, "First, you do not need to call me 'princess' all of the time, you may call me Luna as well. As for what has happened in the last years?.... Nothing that would be worth mentioning really. Tia and myself have been doing fine, mostly, Equestria continues to grow and prosper, the cities have expanded, and life has continued on as it has for many years. Things have been 'great' as I have learned to say."

Luna's tone had become increasing melancholy during her short recollection of the past years, which involuntarily shattered the fragile barriers of remembering memories for both of them. Silence once again reigned between them that grew increasingly to the point of unbearability.

As Pip looked at Luna, he was overwhelmed by a sense of... he didn't know. It had been so long time he had felt this way, that he had forgotten how to react to it. Feeling protective and caring, even in his half drunk state, he asked, "Luna... is there something wrong?"

The princess tensed at his question and said nothing for minutes, trying to contemplate his question. How could one respond to that kind of question? Should I simply tell him or should I push him away? How would I even be able to begin to explain what is happening to me? Then she thought of something that might work but she still retained doubts anyway.

"It is... hard to explain with only words. You probably wouldn't want to sit and listen..." Luna said forlornly, self doubt and pity wiggling it's way back into her mind.

"No! No, it's ok! Please, I want to listen, if it will help make you feel better" Pip exclaimed.

Luna gave a weak smile as she replied, "Okay, if you insist. I must warn you though, this might be a little... overwhelming."

Pipsqueak nodded as the princess, who had been laying on the ground opposite to him, got up and came forward to lay on the ground directly in front of him. Staring into each others eyes for a few moments, Luna put her horn against Pip's forehead and closed her eyes, even as Pip closed his.

Princess Luna activated the mind link and pulled Pip's psych into her own. As their mind's made contact, an involuntary shiver ran through both ponies.

The princess began summarizing all that had caused her to be this way. She conveyed the scene of what had happened in that town so many years ago and the feelings she felt because of this and things like it that she had committed: the anger, rage, guilt, regret, pain and sadness. Beyond all though, the great burden of horror and sorrow that she felt all these years later, even after she had been forgiven, out weighed her other emotions.

When she felt that he understood, Luna broke the contact with a gasp, snapping her eyes open. The mental link had surprisingly taken a physical tole on her. Still out of air, she looked up into the eyes of the stallion before her and, in one simple moment, knew he understood. Tears formed in her eyes at the prospect of another pony understanding finally.

As they spilled over onto her cheeks, Pipsqueak silently sidled over to her side to comfort the princess. Luna leaned against the stallion, all her grief, stress and heartbreak finally being released into the open. They both remained leaning against each other for many minutes, letting the moment linger.

After a while, the princess's tears had subsided and she again breathed normally though she made no move to get off of the stallion beside her and he had no intentions of making her. As she lay there, Luna felt at peace and content for the first time in many stressful weeks.

Only one thing remained that she needed answers too though.

"Pipsqueak," Luna asked in a quiet voice, "are you burdened as well?"

It was Pip's turn to tense. "What do you mean?" he asked tentatively.

"I felt emotions that were not my own during our mental contact and.. saw a blur or two in between my own memories... So I ask again, for your own sake: do you carry a burden as well?"

Pip was as silent, just as Luna had been a few minutes before. He mulled it over in his mind multiple times, contemplating the right thing to say. Not wanting to be cliche but being forced to be so in the current situation, the stallion simply replied, "I think it would be best to show you what happened."

The princess nodded in return and, reluctantly pulling away from his side to face in front of him, once again brought the horn to his forehead. Feeling their psychs connect, he pulled his memory from the deepest part of his mind, replaying for the Luna the events of that night so many years ago.

The young Pipsqueak walked along side his parents on the sidewalk in the city of Trottingham. It was his first Nightmare Night away from the small town of Ponyville and he was excited, if not a little apprehensive, to be in the city. Even with all the excitement the metropolis had to offer, he still wished to be back in Ponyville with his friends.

When his parents had first told Pip they were going to the city for Nightmare Night, the young colt had asked, with just a little conviction, the reason for leaving the small town. They had explained to him that, since Pipsqueak's father had been promoted at his corporation, he had been invited to the annual Nightmare Night party as part of his 'reward'.

Pip had eventually had come around to the idea after a while, even if it did mean he would miss the visit from Princess Luna.

So now here he was, looking around at the sights and sounds that surrounded the night life of the city as he and his parents headed for the all important party that his father had to attend. It wasn't all that bad to him, he could do without all the drinking that was going on though. The few times a pony had gotten drunk in Ponyville, he/she hadn't made that much of a fuss but here, it was MUCH worse.

One drunkard in particular was making a rather large commotion a few feet in front of the small family and though they tried to bi-pass him, the stallion had apparently decided that Pip's family would be the lucky ponies that he would be harassing that night.

At first, the situation had remained under control and normal: the stallion in question, wearing a ruined tux, had tried to get some bits from his father, he had refused, the stallion had swore at Pip's father with a few choice curses and then proceeded on his way. Except there was only one problem: after the drunk had stopped, he immediately began the process of trying to steal a nearby, self pulling chariot.

Pipsqueak's father had never been one to tolerate crime so, naturally, he attempted to pull the pony away, saying, "Sir, please get away from the chariot."

"Get your bucking hooves off of me! I know damn well what I'm doin!" the drunk tried to shout but half of his words were slurred into nothingness by the hard cider he had been drinking.

"No, I don't think you do" Pip's father said, trying to somewhat reason with the smashed pony.

"Oh, I don't huh?! Well, we'll be seein 'bout that!" shouted the drunk, who pulled a switch blade and, staggering around, tried to swipe at Pipsqueak's father. Missing him by a mile, Pip's dad wearily tried to look for a way to take the knife from the stallion in front of him.

Most ponies, by that time, had vacated the area out of selfishness, not wanting to get caught up in any affair that wasn't their own and involved a knife.

As the drunk staggered around, trying to use his knife, Pip watched by the side of his mother with anxiety coursing through him. While he watched his father, Pip had the foolish idea of being heroic and helping his father take down the drunk.

"Father, I'll help you!" Pipsqueak shouted as he stepped forward, thinking of a line from his favorite story book.

Hearing his son shout behind him, Pip's father averted his gaze for a crucial moment, temporarily forgetting the drunk and thinking of his son.

"Pipsqueak, no! Its- ugh!"

In that one moment he had looked away, the drunk had seized the opportunity and lunged forward to stab the knife through the back of the neck of Pip's father. A sickening, gurgling leapt from his throat as he fell to the sidewalk, blood pooling beneath him at an alarming rate.

"No!" Pip's mother cried as she ran for her husband's body.

"Yes!" the drunkard shouted as he lunged again, this time slashing the helpless mare's throat.

She too fell to the ground, blood spurting from the wound, trying desperately to breath through her severed wind pipe. The drunkard laughed maniacally as he put the bloodied switch blade back in the folds of his tux. He staggered away, seemingly forgetting the small colt kneeling beside the corpse of both of his parent's, tears streaming down his cheeks as his parent's life blood pooled around him.

He seemed to be frozen in place for hours, watching as his parents died before his eyes.... and he couldn't do a thing to stop it. Eventually coming to his senses, he began to call for help in a weak voice that slowly became stronger and stronger til his wails could be heard for almost a mile around.

No amount of help would ever be able to save either the lives of his parent's or rid himself of the overpowering guilt that threatened to crush him under it's weight.

Luna slowly opened her eyes as the memory faded and both ponies returned to their bodies. As she did so, she was somewhat startled to find hot tears silently sliding down Pipsqueak's muzzle, his body trembling, and that he was softly murmuring to himself.

"My fault... my fault... it's all my fault.." he repeated in a small, pain-filled voice.

Pity and compassion for the young stallion welled up within Luna's heart as she pulled her horn away and slowly re-positioned her head so as to nuzzle his neck in comforting. He pressed against her, grateful for the soothing touch and the reassurance that came with it.

Eventually, she went to his side and allowed him to lean against her, just as he had done only minutes before. The princess continued to nuzzle him, which comforted both ponies. His tears and trembling soon ceased but his mumbling of self accusations did not.

Luna, not being able to hear it any longer, pulled away from nuzzling Pip and whispered gently, "Pipsqueak, please, you cannot continue to blame yourself for what happened. It was the drunkards fault, not yours."

The stallion replied with a sad and forlorn whisper. "How can I? I may not have wielded the knife but I might as well have. If I hadn't-"

"Stop that, right now!" Luna said with a little force, stopping his statement. Speaking more gently, she continued, "Do not do that to yourself. You did not wield the blade and I will not let you to continue to believe that your actions killed them. You were trying to help your father, that's all there is to it."

"But I can't just leave it at that! I know that if I hadn't stepped forward, I wouldn't have made my father turn around and he would still be alive today! I was so stupid! I-"

The princess had become increasingly agitated by his self-accusing and was becoming tired of it. So she did the only thing that she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt would shut him up and make him forget.

She looked over, pulled his face towards him, leaned down and kissed him.

The sudden contact startled Pip and erased his mind of anything that was not Luna. After a few moments, the princess broke the kiss and pulled back a little, surprised by the explosion of warm, giddy feelings that had encompassed every part of her being.

As she looked into Pip's eyes, she knew he felt the same way. By unspoken consent, they both leaned in once more and, as their muzzles met, immediately and totally forgot their previous amounts of grieving. Luna let out an involuntary moan as the kiss deepened and Pipsqueak slowly leaned her onto the grass, taking the dominant position. He felt the length of her body as they continued to kiss, even as Luna did the same to him.

They both knew that the feelings they had for one another were old and now resurfacing and that their relationship from then on out would be forever changed. For better or worse, they did not know. Neither cared though. They only cared for one another and that their pasts, filled with much heartache, would finally be soothed to the point of forgottenness.

They only cared that redemption had, finally, begun.

Fin

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“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Author's Note

Hope yall liked the story! Please inform me of any spelling errors or typos, thanks!

Also, if yall liked it enough, I can write a short epilogue for what happens in the years after but that's only if people actually like this and yall want it.