"You're pissing me off!" You say as you shake a pink Celestia doll around. You accidentally press the button that makes her talk.
"I'm a princess. Are you a princess too?" It asks. You drop the doll on your bed and face palm.
"Oh god. That's even more embarrassing than when you said I was beautiful." You say in disgust. "Why did I get you? I wasted 23 dollars on you! A doll of one of my least favorite ponies ever." You say as you pick it up and put it back on you shelf behind your other toys. After setting it down you access your computer and proceed to watch an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. "Oh which one to pick?" You see the list of episodes in your browser and try to decide which one you want to watch. "Just choose a random one." You close your eyes and let your hand move the cursor cross the screen. You click on the mouse and select one of the videos. You open yours and read the name of the episode.
"A Bird in the Hoof!" You say read. "WHY!? Just my freaking luck!" You say and flip your table. Your laptop hits the ground and blue screens. "She don't even exist and yet she's screwing with me! Why is it that the episode I selected just happened to be... a TROLLESTIA EPISODE!" Suddenly your laptop screen flashes a bright white light. You walk to it and see an image appear on screen. It's cylindrical in shape and pink in color. But what you really throws you off, is the fact that it's reaching out to you. "What? Am I in a "Take on Me" music video or something?" You ask your self. The object motions you to grab it. You slowly extend your hand out to it and grab it. Then it begins to pull you in and you fall through the screen. As you free-fall to, where ever it is the that that "thing" is pulling you towards, you suddenly black out from the intense energy your feeling.
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You finally wake up and see that your in a room full of treats and delectable foods. "Wha? Where am I?" You ask yourself. You get up and see some one working behind the counter. "Uh... hello? Ma'am?" You call to her. The woman is short and has pink curly hair. "Um ma'am? Can you help me?" You call to her again. She turns around and you see. "The hell?" Your jaw drops and wise open widely.
"Oh hi! Your awake. I'm so glad. Hi! I heard about your problem and decided to help you, I decided to help you because you have a problem and if you have a problem then that means you're not happy and if you're not happy that means you're sad or angry and if you're sad or angry that means you won't feel like eating and if you don't feel like eating then how am I supposed to sell all these suguary, tasty, fluffy and diabetes-guaranteed treats?" She asks. This was no woman. It was a...no... the Pinkie Pie. A hyper active and fun loving mare.
"Pinkie Pie? You-you're real?" You ask.
"Well of course I am silly. If I wasn't then how was I able to make all of these treats? Or bring you to Equestria? Or make that huge sticker machine in the basement or..." She continued on.
"Wait wait wait." You stop her. "I'm in Equestria? And sticker machine? What's that?"
"Yes, you are in Equestria, and I'll show you the sticker machine." You follow her to the basement and see a large white board. On the surrounding walls you see many pictures. A life sized poster of Gilda, a bent poster of Ditzy "Derpy" Doo, three individual Diamond dog ones, several smaller parasprite ones and a Rainbow Dash poster. "The Rainbow Dash one is my favorite." She points out. "Remember 'Cupcakes?" She asks you.
"Yeah..." You nervously reply. 'She wouldn't do that to me... would she?' You ponder in fear.
"Well that fanficition was totally wrong. I didn't do any of that to Rainbow Dash, I mean what's so funny about tearing out your freind's intestines? That's gross!" She stated then walked to the Rainobow Dash poster. "What I REALLY did was turn her into a sticker. Then I stuck it on this wall. She explained. "So yeah, I did end up turning her into something else, but not a stuffed doll."
"How exactly did you find out about 'Cupcakes?" You ask.
"Internet." Pinkie Pie said.
"Oooookay... what about the sticker machine? How does that work?" You ask again.
"Magic! Ooooo! Imaginaaaation! Aaaaah! And a dream! Haaaaa!" She randomly said.
"Alright then.." You say walking away from her slowly. "So why are you showing me this?" You inquire.
"This is the solution to your problem!" She answered.
"Oh! I get it!" You suddenly realize her plan. "You brought me here so that way we can bring Princess Celestia down here and turn her into a sticker! Right?" You guess at what her plan was.
"I was gonna say food poisoning but that works too." She answered. You ignore what she said and walk to the main entry. "So are you with me? You wanna help me bring the princess to her knees?" Pinkie enthusiastically asked.
"You hate her too?" You stand their surprised. The element of laughter hates the princess... wow.
"Actually I don't "hate" her, I just really really really really really really really really dislike her." She answered.
"Oh... okay then."
"Do you hate her?" Pinkie asks.
"Yeah... I mean. She's such a troll, she's an incompetent leader and why is it that any time she imprisons or banishes some bad guy, the bad guy always manages to come back and bite her in the flank? Seriously, Nightmare Moon, Discord, King Sombra.... CAN'T SHE JUST I don't know... KILL THEM OFF SCREEN!" You yell out in frustration. "I mean if they keep on getting imprisoned, how does she know they come back in another 1000 years?!"
"You are so right! Especially about the troll part. PRANKS AND UNNECESSARILY DRAWN OUT JOKES ARE MY THING! ." Pinkie yelled out enraged.
"We need to go to Canterlot and bring her back here."
"RIGHT!" To the Pony mobile!
DANANANANA!
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You drive to the palace's front gate. The guards haven't noticed you two yet.
"Alright." Pinkie whispered. "I'll distract them. You go in and get the princess. Put her in the bag and put the bag in the trunk."
"Uh. Can't we just invite her to Sugar Cube Corners instead of dragging her there?" You ask.
"Hmm. OH I am just about to be BRILLIANT! Why don't we invite Princess Celestia to Sugar Cube Corners? It'll be easier to take her into the basement that way!" Pinkie suggested.
"Yeah... that's why you're the leader Pinkie." You sarcastically say. So long story short Pinkie got out of the car and went into the palace. After a few minutes she walked out with the Princess. You get out and bow to her.
"Pleasure to meet you my dear human." She welcomes you.
'Well she's really nice. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously.' You think. You get back into the passenger seat and the Princess got into the back seat. Pinkie turned on the ignition and drove off to Ponyville.
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On the way to back to Ponyville, you realize that the Princess you had met a few moments ago was just acting like the sweetest mare in the world. There in the car she keeping saying. "Looks like you two are kicking it in the front seat while I'm stuck here just sitting in the back seat." She said.
'Oh no she didn't!' You think to your self. 'Now that stupid song is going to be stuck in my head again.'
"I knew I had to make my mind up, but in the end it didn't matter. Do you why?" She asks you.
'Please don't say it...' You plead in your mind.
"Becuase IT'S FRIDAY! AND WE HAVE TO GET DOWN ON FIRDAY!" SHe sang out. And to make matters worse she started kicking the back of your seat making the ride uncomfortable. She stopped singing. "Oh Pinkie Pie. Could you give me one of those snow cones you have in the sock compartment?" She asks the other mare.
"Oh course your majesty." Pinkie reaches down to get a snow cone out. "Here ya go! Grape flavored!"
"Thank you Pinkie." Celestia said while levitating the dessert over to herself. Suddenly she drops the cone and the ice gets on your new pants. "Oh my, I'm sorry." She apologized, rather insincerely.
"Oh uh.. it-it's okay..your majesty" You say as you brush the ice off. 'That's it! She's getting flattened.
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After an hour of driving, the two mares exit the car and walk to Sugar Cube Corners. You follow closely behind them. You enter in and turn the lights on.
"Well princess, would like something?" Pinkie asks.
"Perhaps I'll have some of the new Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness cake." She requested.
"Okie dokie lokie. OOh! And have this new rainbow frosted cupcake Princess. If you want a slim figure, it's the best thing to eat. Becareful though, it might get sticky." Pinkie said hinting at the princess' demise. You're aware of the innuendo and smile evilly.
"Thank you Pinkie Pie. It looks delicious." The princess says then takes a bite. Suddenly she begins feeling tired. "I'm starting to feel tired." Then without another word she faints.
"YES!" You cheer. "Now to end her reign of tyranny so I can have pure and awesome episodes that don't involve an unnecessary adventure."
"Let's hurry. The effects of the cupcake won't last." Pinkie warned then helped you carry the unconscious alicorn down the steps.
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"Ugh..wh-where am I?" The Princess was waking up.
"Hello your majesty." You say in a fiendish tone. "Sleep well?"
"What?" She asks you. She look down an sees that her wings were clipped and her legs were tied together. She looks at her horn and see s a metallic brace on it. "What is the meaning of this?" She asks you.
"I'm sick and tired of you always trolling with Twilight and her friends, and I hate it when you screw up a good episode by making the other characters worry about nothing. Like in "The Ticket Master." You could've told Twilight tht all she had to do was ask for more tickets? Or in "A Bird in the Hoof." Couldn't you have explained that Philomina was a phoenix and that she would be reborn from the ashes earlier in the episode rather than waiting till the end? Seriously, I have list and I can go on all day." You tell her. "Well your reign of tyranny is over and I won't let you mess with these little ponies ever again!" You declare.
"Wha? How did you know about my plan?" She asks you in a fierce tone.
"Let's just say you're not as subtle as you think, Trollestia." You say then turn away from her. "Pinkie! Is it ready?" You call to her.
"Yep. Just throw her at the board and it'll do the rest." Pinkie explained. You nod and pick Princess Celestia up via her torso. She's a lot light than you expected.
"W-wait! How? What? What are you going to do to me?" She asks you becoming worried. You ignore her question and ready yourself to throw her at the white board. "WAIT! NO!" She pleads. You get a running start, then throw her with all your might. She screams as she flies through the air and hits the board on her side. To your surprise, she's been flattened and is stuck on the board. She slowly begins to slip off and falls on to the ground.
"So that's how it works?" You ask Pinkie Pie.
"Yep." Pinkie responded. "Oooh! It's a shiny one!"
"But, is the series gonna be messed up because we... y'know... turned Princess Celestia into a sticker?" You ask her wondering what consequences you may face.
"Nope. As a matter of fact. That's not even the real Princess Celestia." Pinkie answered.
"What? I don't understand." You say to her.
"The real princess Celestia was banished to the sun. This is her evil clone Trollestia." Pinkie answered.
"I.... still don't get it." You answer.
"Well." Pinkie said as she put on some glasses. "Elementary my dear human. Celestia banished Luna to the moon 1000 years ago. Well for every action there is an equal but opposite reaction. Which dictates that when Luna returned as Nightmare Moon, she banished Celestia to the Sun. The Celestia that would appear later in the episode would be the alicorn that is lying on the floor right now." Pinkie explained. You stand there dumbfounded "Now to explain who exactly you stickersized. You see the board is made of a material I like to call..."
"Pinkie please just..." You interrupt her. "Look I just wanted the trolling to stop. C-can I go home now? As much as I would like to visit your friends and see the rest of Equestria, I've had enough stress for one day." You say to her.
"Okay okay, we'll make a deal then. You keep quiet about all this and I'll let you come back here whenever you want." Pinkie pie offered. Without even thinking you answer...
"Deal." You and Pinkie shake hands/hooves.
"Good, and go on ahead and take the sticker with you if you want. Impress your brony friends." She said then reached for something behind the white board.
'A life sized Celes- I mean Trollestia sticker poster huh? Ah who cares. The guys back home will never this.' You think to yourself. Pinkie walks back to with... a portal gun? She pointed it to the floor and shot an orange portal in the floor.
"But first. Are you happy? Are truly proud of what you did?" Pinkie asks. You look at the the new sticker and think to yourself. You nod yes and smile. "Great! Would like to buy some treats then?" She asks you happily.
"Meh. Sure why not."You answer.
"Well too bad. You're getting this dessert's on the house." She says she pulls a giant cookie out of.... hammrspace. You take the cookie and proceed to take a bite out of it. "Well there ya go. Come back soon." She says to you. "And if you ever want to come back, just google 'Want to come to Equestria?' click the first link and type in yes." She explained. You nod and fall into the portal.
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You're back in your room, and you still have the Trollestia sticker poster with you and your cookie has been fully devoured. "Where should I post this?" You ask yourself. You see empty spot on your wall and walk toward it. Placing the sticker on the wall you flatten it out and press it down more to make sure it sticks. "Perfect." You say to yourself. But as you are about leave your room you hear a voice.
"Oh my, your pants are dirty." The feminine voice points out. You look down and see the stain from Trollestia's snow cone. You look around the room to see who was speaking to you.
"Hello?" You say.
"Is that grape juice on your pants?" The voice asks. "I love grape. It's my favorite flavor." The voice's tone started to sound more seductive.
"W-wait! Where are you? Who are you?" You continue to ask. Suddnely you back into something.
"Don't worry my little human." from the sound of the voice you can tell you just backed into the thing that was talking to you. "When this is over, your'll never want to go to the dry cleaners ever again." The figure lowers her head down and you finally figure out who was speaking to you.
"M-Muhh-mo-MOLESTIA!" You scream out.
"Let's start with.... the spin cycle." SHe says slowly says as she lowers her head to your thigh. She begins licking the grape flavor off your pants and you for some strange reason can't move. All you can say is....
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
The End?
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Paper Mario: Sticker Star is awesome go buy it.
