Ever since you were introduced to My Little Pony, you fell in love. Not only with the awesome and adorable characters, but their world! You loved all the peace, harmony, and lack of extremely high gas prices. To you, Equestria was an absolute dream, so just imagine your excitement when you woke up there!
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You couldn't recall falling asleep on a metal floor, but apparently, you had. Maybe too much vodka and flirting at that party took you down. You kept your eyes closed, smiling, remembering all the awesome moments at that- wait, you didn't go to a party!
You felt something nudge your side, "Hey, get off the ground! We need to keep this line moving!"
You opened your eyes and got up, brushing yourself off. Obviously, you were still on Earth, because there were humans everywhere. You then turned around and were face to face with a red stallion in riot gear.
He nudged you again, "I said, keep it moving!"
You looked around at your surroundings, and noticed you were, in fact, surrounded by riot gear wearing ponies.
You stared at the stallion before you uneasily. "Am I the only one seeing a ton of ponies everywhere?!" You yelled to no one in particular.
"YOU BARLEY NOTICED!? ARE YOU 'SPECIAL' OR SOMETHING?" a random person responded.
The others laughed.
"HEY, LOVE AND TOLERANCE!" another person said.
Wait, 'love and tolerance'? You thought.
You looked at the people before them; most were wearing pony shirts or other accessories related to the brony universe.
"I said, KEEP IT MOVING!" the stallion pushed you on the ground, lifting a nightstick.
"Ah! Okay, okay! I'm moving!" You stand up and speed walk into the crowd of bronies.
The place you were in looked weird. The building looked extremely close to a giant grey cube, just have guards blocking all the exits, large windows in every corner, and ponies everywhere. There were not decorations or art-related things anywhere!
Then, your mind ended its trance by the voice of a familiar lavender-colored unicorn before you. She had her friends by her, all noticeably keeping their guards up for any forms of danger. The people next to you were gawking at the six equine legends before you. Twilight levitated a clipboard up to her as she talked.
"Hello, welcome to Equestria, land of peace and harmony, blah blah blah. This is Rainbow dash, *Hey.* Applejack, *Howdy.* Pinkie Pie, *HAI!* Rarity, *Hello.* Fluttershy, *umm, hi* and myself, Twilight Sparkle. We will be giving you a quick tour of Equestria and be sending you on your way. Any questions?" she said speedily and without emotion.
A hand flew up.
"Yes, uh, you, in the back."
"Can I screw you?"
Most of the bronies in the crowd jumped back at the blunt statement.
Twilight simply glared at the man, and her friends tensed up, ready to attack at any moment.
"No." she said simply, "You may not."
She pulled up a radio to her muzzle.
"Uh, we have a clopper situation here at section 5A, starting position of tour number 434, send backup please."And here comes the wave of dislikes.
With that, four stallions came by and took him away.
The other bronies felt a bit scared now that a fellow ally had been taken away by the guards, ceasing any small conversations.
"So." Twilight said blankly. "Any more questions?"
Another hand.
"You."
"Umm." The man shifted uneasily, "Where did they take that guy?"
Applejack spoke up. "Oh, they're just throwin' 'em in the portal to Earth. It's a safety precaution after what had happened to Pinkie."
All eyes were now on her.
"What? He said we were just wrestling! What's so bad about that? Besides, I was winning!" Pinkie Pie said ecstatically, striking a winning pose.
"God bless her innocent mind." a person from the crowd whispered.
Rarity spoke. "Yes, but, we didn't want you to get hurt, regardless of you 'winning' or not, dear."
Twilight turned to us, "I'm sure they're are good people," she said, "But we don't want anypony harassed or threatened by them. Besides, all they miss is the tour, nothing else."
The crowd relaxed a bit at this.
Twilight clapped her hooves together, "Okay, let's get started."
The group followed her to a window, showing an excellent view of Ponyville.
"To those who may not know, this is Ponyville, it's-"
"Applebloom!!" someone cried out, pointing to the filly walking around with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo on the street.
"I wanna meet them!!!" another said ecstatically before jumping through the window and running to the town.
Twilight gasped, "I need security here at section 5C, stat! We've got a runner from tour number 434 loose!"
Then, herself, her friends, and a bunch of security guards ran out after her. They all gave chase, leaving only our group to stand around and stare awkwardly at each other.
The peace and silence only fell for a bit, then the group dispersed, everyone all running away in different directions, leaving you to wonder what the hell was going on. Not soon after, there was a large purple flash. You figured it was Twilight, but it ended up to be another brony, perhaps barley arriving. He had one-piece pajamas on.
"Where am I?" he asked calmly.
"Equestria."
"Really?" he then gets up and looks out of the window, seeing the town before us.
"Alright! BEST. DREAM. EVER!" he said before running out.
You felt like telling him it wasn't a dream, but you thought about how hilarious it would be to see a man running around, yelling, ''BEST DREAM EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!'' and doing stupid things.
You smirked at your own imagination at work, until the ponies arrived. They all stared at you with shocked faces, including the 'runner' who was now in a strait jacket.
"Where are the others!?" Twilight asked.
"They ran off."
"An' ya didn't stop 'em?" Applejack asked angrily.
"Nnope." you smiled.
Twilight then walked over to you and slapped a 'VOLUNTEER' badge on your chest.
"Well now you have to." Twilight grunted.
And so you did. It didn't take long to find all the bronies, and you were cussed out by most of them, but after proving your trustworthiness and showing enough respect to the Mane Six, you actually got to know them better over hay fries and daisy sandwiches, which actually tasted awesome.
And on the way to the portal back to Earth, the idea of all of this finally hit you, and all you had to say was,
"This has been the most cliche mind-f**k of my entire life."
THE END.
