The Awesome Quest of My Little Ponies

Chapters

1: The Call to Action
2: Welcome to the Shadow Lands
3: Three is Company
4: Yokel Dokie

1: The Call to Action

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// Story: The Awesome Quest of My Little Ponies
// Chapter: Chapter 1: The Call to Action
// Author: ThatOneYellowPony
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There are many great ways to start a story. One way is to jerk the reader in with some action. For instance, I could start this story with "...And then the shadow monsters broke through the force field, and thus began the pony apocalypse" but such an introductory could wrongly impose expectations in you the reader. I could well start with Fluttershy exploding, which would horrify you, then proceed to tell a namby-pamby romance between Rainbow and Twilight, or Rainbow and Celestia, or Rainbow and that stick over there, or Rainbow and really anypony, person, concept, or inanimate object capable of sprouting out from within my imagination.

But as it so happens, I'm a little constrained as to how I can begin this epic tale of courage, love, and cheap turn-based combat, because this is not from my imagination. Yes, the following story about magic anthropomorphic cream-colored ponies is 100% accurate to the real events of the real lives of Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and the other ones. And if you truly believe that, then I think I'm going to have fun with you in the following chronicles.

But enough about me, you came for the ponies, because the canon show couldn't give you enough or because there's some deep, dark hole in your heart from ‘My Little Dashie’ that needs to be filled with happy fics:

Today might have been one of the hottest days Ponyville had ever seen. It was one of those days where everypony glistened and held that baked ‘derpy’ expression in their eyes. It was a day where a pony like Rarity may have found herself steaming in the spa, or resting in the shade, or really anywhere but soaking up rays and sweating like a common work mule. Naturally when Applejack saw Rarity she immediately knew that something was up. Perhaps Rarity had been locked out of her boutique, or maybe it was somepony else. Although that didn’t seem likely, because only ponies like Lyra, Bon Bon, or Derpy seemed to be copy-pasted all over creation. No, Rarity only had one self, and that self was looking for Opalescence because she had left the cat in Sweetie Belle's care, who obviously couldn't be trusted with the simplest of tasks on behalf of her incorrigible obsession with cutie mark of lack thereof.

"Opal?" asked the farmer pony, correctly guessing at her friend’s problem.

"Yes, Sweetie Belle's reckless kitty-sitting abilities have condemned me to this horrid torridity" Rarity grinded through her teeth.

Applejack had no choice but to assume this delicately constructed sentence meant "It's so sweaty and hot out here that I'm getting pit-rashes!"

"Well," started Applejack after a moment's thought "Ain't any use looking in this here town square. Ain't so much as a speck a good shade. Remember last time Opal went missing? She turned up in my barn with that boy cat you said you didn't approve of."

Oh yes, Rarity certainly remembered that scrawny wanna-be Romeo. Entirely a bad influence on her precious angel of a kitten don't you know? But even though she had already searched Sweet Apple Acres she decided to check again with her friend Applejack if only to beat the heat of the high noon sun.

Of course, it had been the high noon sun for quite a while, longer than your average high noon to be sure. In fact, as of this moment it had been high noon for longer than it had ever been before by exactly-

"-2 hours, 32 minutes, and 9 and a half seconds!" exclaimed Twilight.

As you and I both know Twilight always had a thing for studying and her interest would gradually change from one area to another over time. By coincidence, weather was this week's devotion.

The unicorn hopped back from the window, trotted down the stairs and hopped about the library downstairs with a grin that would break my heart at first glance.

"I did it! I did it! Oh! Ooooh! Eur-, Euri-" She stopped suddenly, trying to think of the word.

"Um, did what exactly?" asked Spike, who was busy polishing and putting away telescopes from last week’s obsession: astronomy

"Eru-, Erna-," She continued, trembling. Whatever the word was it was clearly very important to her.

Spike simply rolled his eyes and wiped some sweat off his brow.

"You know if it gets any hotter I'm-"

"EUREKA!!" Twilight finally shouted, resuming her prancing about the library.

"You're-a-what-now?" asked a startled Spike.

"Eureka. It's a word scientist ponies say when they make a discovery. I've always wanted to say it but I've never discovered anything on my own. I mean, just think of last week. 9 straight hours staring into the marvels of space and not so much as one giant, planet-destroying asteroid"

"Um, that's too bad?"

"But now I've made a connection between the sun and Princess Celestia!" she proudly shrieked.

Spike face-clawed “Don’t they teach you that first thing in magic kindergarten, or even just regular kindergarten? That's not a discovery"

Twilight snorted incredulously. When it came to science, nopony ever seemed to just get things the way she did. She was truly alone in her love for the world of logic. Why didn't anypony else ever see the world as a series of ingenious things all cultivated from the same basic rules? But she knew it wasn't fair of her to get frustrated at her assistant and more importantly: friend. She sighed and took a step back in her thoughts.

"Two days ago one of Celestia's royal guards passed away. His name was Proudhoof, and he was a good friend of hers too. That day, the sun gave off less heat than was usual. Today, she flew through Ponyville on her chariot and didn't even stop to say hello. She was angrier than I had ever seen her, and today the sun's burned hotter and brighter than ever before!"

Spike followed the curious purple unicorn's less-than-earth-shattering discovery. About all he could say was that it was interesting, but ultimately inconsequential. But he kept his mouth shut because really, how many baby dragons do you know with 'inconsequential' in their vocabulary? This particular one didn’t even know “brink”

"But that's not all. Remember that fancy trololometer the Princess gave me for my birthday last year? You'll never guess what it's reading."

Spike remembered. The gift had been wrapped up in the shape of a cake. Pinkie had tried to eat it, not knowing the contents were a titanium alloy. Her jaw had been locked open for an hour, but that was okay because her breath filled the room with the smell of sweets.

Twilight proceeded to whistle, an ability she had tenuously developed after reading "How to whistle: Pony Lips and their Curious Properties" because when you're a dedicated egghead like Twilight you have how-to's for most everything. If you recall, Twilight has a pet owl named Owlowiscious who helps her during the night to give Spike a rest for the following day, where Owlowiscious would be asleep and Spike would take over. When does Twilight Sparkle sleep? To be honest I'm not entirely sure she does.

"I just whistled for Owlowiscious. He'll be up and down here in just a moment. Trololoscopes get the best readings the higher they are, so I installed mine on the highest branch. I know you're afraid of heights so I'll let him retrieve it."

"I'm not afraid of heights" muttered Spike

"Seven months four days ago: We decided to support Rainbow Dash in her Best Young Flyers competition. You joined us in the balloon. We rose three feet. You screamed and wanted off." noted Twilight, her perfect memory starting to get on Spike's nerves.

Twilight whistled again, thinking her pet owl hadn't heard her. When he didn't come swooping down the second time around she went upstairs to his perch and discovered it abandoned. Worried, she and Spike searched high and low in her tree home. The owl was not in the shelves, not in the basement, nor was he untying the trololoscope from the topmost branch which jutted up into the heavens. Normally, Twilight wouldn't be so worried, Owlowiscious had always proven to be self-sufficient, but unlike Spike her worry was over something very different. You see, she had just spent a week reading over 11 different texts and tombs about weather. Each one touched upon certain phenomenon. And in every last one, they made reference to intense weather irregularities that followed fleeing animals.

Earlier that same day Fluttershy had promised to pet-sit Tank for Rainbow Dash, as she had made other arrangements. I'm going to specify that Rainbow was busy getting her Daring Do's signed by the author, who was making a special appearance in Ponyville that day. Because if I left that vague, you might well have assumed she was busy professing her love for that stick over there.

Fluttershy and the flying tortoise were enjoying a leisurely flutter alongside the butterflies and other cute critters in the natural grounds not far from her property. But even though the two of them had always enjoyed their silent companionship, Fluttershy was forced to break it and speak up.

"Are you okay? I’ve noticed you’ve been very tense today. You're even flying faster than I do, and I've always known you to take things slowly" said Fluttershy.

She set her hooves on either side of the tortoise and spun him around so they were eye to eye. Having always possessed a special connection with animal folk, she knew full well what was the matter.

"You're afraid of something coming aren't you?" whispered Fluttershy. Her eyes were too much for Tank to bear. He turned to the side and gave a feeble nod. "But you don't want to leave without Rainbow, am I right? Well, if it's that important we'll just have to bring you to her. But before we leave I just need to refill all the water bowls in my cottage. It's been very hot today and I would hate from my precious angel to be thirsty. Or my precious birdies, or my precious mice, or my precious chickens, or my...-"

She continued to list off her precious dependants as she gracefully glided her way home. She opened the door with an adorable little kick of her fore-hoof, and floated in. What a shame, she had let some of the bowls fall below half full. She would have hated to see what would have happened if she had left to find Dash without returning here. It would have been just so, so awful and, and-

Fluttershy let out a gasp. It appeared that her precious birdies, mice, chickens, lions, tigers, bears, owls, wasps, toucans, puppies, kittens and enough other animals to sing every last Disney song, all at once had up and left. Even her pet rock, Little Tom Junior, appeared to be missing. The only evidence of the three and a half zoos that had occupied her home all but two hours ago, were a few feathers and tufts of fur. In fact now that they were gone her home felt far too big for a single pony to live in. Just like that her family had up and left her home and heart. Alarmed, the pegasus scooped up tank and flew out her door in a blur.

Fluttershy is just about the last pegasus to ever come out of flight school you'd expect to see travelling as a blur. Rainbow Dash? Sure. It was weirder not to see her at the cutting edge of her own spectrum of colors. Roid Rage? If he's late to see the new episode of My Little Human: Thumbs are Hocus-pocus, the colt might as well have been shot from a cannon. Derpy Hooves? We all know that when she needs to, she is capable of doing whatever it takes to help her friends. But when Fluttershy flew through Sweet Apple Acres, not even noticing Applejack and Rarity three feet below her, the two earth-bound ponies knew that something was terribly amiss. They even turned around, heading to wherever she was. Not long after she shot over Twilight's house, not even noticing the trololoscope, which was usually dormant, buzzing and displaying a strange message. But then she passed over Pinkie Pie, and stopped comically in the air. Tank's eyes were glazed over, as he didn't have enough reaction time to shut his eyelids.

For no matter how fast Fluttershy was travelling, she could never miss the sound of tears coming from a pony that was usually the most cheerful in town. Even though she was desperately in need of Rainbow Dash, it was against her nature to abandon a crying friend, even if Fluttershy wasn't sure what the crying was for.

"Pinkie?" She asked, sounding like she too was at the brink of tears. Which let’s face it: she probably was.

Evidently, Pinkie had not noticed Fluttershy as she hiccupped and frantically wiped her eyes clean.

The pair of them were in the shade provided by Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie Pie's home for as long as anypony could remember.

"Pinkie?" Fluttershy repeated. If you've been good friends with somepony a long time, you know that when they cry, even if you don't know what for and it could be a really silly reason, you'll find yourself just as wet of the eye in an instant. When you're as soft of spirit as Fluttershy was, you'd go from alarmed to bawling in 21 and a half seconds.

With no further words, the two of them embraced and cried it all out. Unbeknownst to them, Tank was pursuing Rainbow Dash, who he knew couldn't be far.

Princess Celestia was angry, which agreeably you already know, but I should emphasise just how boiling hot she was. Her white coat sizzled and her eyes seemed to pulse. If she were a boss fight, she’d probably be able to shoot laser beams out from them. In the past she had witnessed the return of Discord, who threatened to turn the pony utopia into a convoluted mess, the Changeling Queens attempt to literally suck the love out from Equestria, and the nightmarish spectre that was Nightmare Moon who affected the ambiance of the land by prolonging beddy-bye time. But never before had she been as livid as she was now.

Celestia, although other ponies would like to disagree, was a kind and gentile leader. Sure, she could be a bit of a troll at times, but everypony knew she meant well. She did not have many rules, but one rule she thought everypony knew flat out was never, under any circumstances, should they leave the borders of Equestria and enter the shadow lands beyond. And now the barriers that kept the otherworld monstrosities out were crumbling to nothing. And the wise leader knew that the Chosen heroes of Harmony: Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie and the other ones may be their only hope. Unfortunately, she also knew full well that beyond her nation's borders the elements would be nullified. The Element of Generosity would become simply a personality trait. Pinkie Pie's Laughter element would become seldom more than giggles and ice cream cake. The Elements of Loyalty and Honesty would become little more than mantras and the Element of Magic would be little more than a pretty tiara and some clinical depression.

And the worst part, the most aggravating of it all, was that it all could have been prevented too. Now, thanks to some terrible mistakes, she would be forced to send her beloved student into the greatest peril she would ever experience. And ever since the other five had started sending her letters, she had grown attached to the others she would have otherwise happily dedicated to cannon fodder.

She was painfully aware that Luna and she would be forced to stay behind and use their powers to protect pony kind here on the home front. A fact that made her writhe in the heat of her own searing sun.

Presently, she was pacing up and down Town Hall, waiting for the Mayor to arrive. She checked her inventory: 99,999 bits; 99 revives; 99 Ultra-potions; 99 minor-potions; and 99 of a lot of other things. She checked her special items: 8 phoenix feathers; 6 orbs of elementia; and 1 Dark Key. Her level, just like Luna's, was 99. She specialized in Holy magic, Luna in Dark magic. Browsing her menus only led her into a deeper sadness. Ponies here didn't know how to fight in turn-base which was the only form of battling that could serve them now that the shadows had broken into Equestria. Magic would be the key to survival.

See, normally it is assumed only unicorns can use magic, which isn't really true at all. In desperate times, anypony of any age could learn some magic. It's just much, much easier for unicorns and especially alicorns like Princess Celestia.

Although it felt like ages to the fuming princess, the mayor eventually did arrive, wrongly assuming Celestia had come to compliment her on her wrapping up winter on time for the second year running. Hence why the beige mare came bounding in head held high.

"Why hello Princess! Whatever brings you to our fair town on this here fair day?" She said, batting her eyes.

"I'm here to warn you that you're in most terrible danger, and to request you gather me these ponies in this hall for a private meeting" She inhaled deeply before listing off all of the Apple Family that lived nearby minus Applejack. "I would also like separate meetings for each of the following: Sweetie Belle and her parents; Mr. and Ms. Cake as locating Pinkie's real family would take too much time. I don't even know where this 'rock farm' is; Scootaloo; and finally Spike. The last ponies I would like to see are Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and the other ones. You know, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. Do you require me to repeat any of that?”

"Um, n-no" said a surprised Mayor. She was good with remembering instructions, but she also knew she had worked really, really, hard to wrap up winter on time this year. She shook her head to clear it.

"Your supreme superiority, didn't you say we were in danger? And if you wanted to see Twilight Sparkle and her five some of friends, couldn't you write them? I understand you're in regular communication."

"First rule of Code Rainbow: communicate only face to face" instructed the Princess rigidly.

"Code Rainbow?" the Mayor dared to ask.

"Code Red: Invasion. Code Orange: The Princess has missed her lunch. Code Yellow: I've started considering changing my exile location from the moon to the sun. Code Green: The sun's so hot the springtime flowers are burning away. Code Blue: Pony lives are under threat. Code Indigo: The animals are fleeing. Code Violet: The shadows are coming. Code Rainbow is when they all happen together." Explained Celestia

"How often does that happen!" the Mayor's voice was higher of pitch than she would have liked.

"Never before. Most likely because chance would never have all these catastrophes line up at once. Most of those codes I just made up anyways." Even under dire circumstances, Celestia remained a troll at heart.

"But before I leave," said the Mayor, urgency in her voice. She even started edging towards the exit "Can you tell me what the shadows are?"

"Dark beings" Celestia replied

"And what are the dark beings?"

"...shadows" Celestia responded, a somber look upon her. She was staring off into the distance, as though this were some sort of grim superhero re-imagining.

Seeing she wouldn't be able to understand in time, she fled the scene in search of the Apple Family minus Applejack.

"Make haste Mayor-whose-name-escapes-me! I'll be waiting!"

With her newly signed copies of Daring Do, Dashie had every right to be happy. She swirled about in the hot, muggy air, clutching the books close to her heart. The place they always were, metaphorically. Every couple of spins she would stop midair and peer behind the front cover. There it was: that beautiful curvy signature from the mare behind the wonder. For Rainbow Dash, adventure was everything, much like it was for Daring Do. And oh what wonder it would be to be like Do. The Excitement! The Danger! Bad guys and Henchmen! And secret treasure! And! And!

Her thoughts were stopped when she heard the familiar whirring of the little helicopter installed in her pet tortoise.

"Oh, hello Tank. Wasn't Fluttershy supposed to be watching you?" asked a quizzical Rainbow.

Tank held her in a pleading stare, such that the rainbow-maned pony had never lain witness to. But even though this particular pegasus had never had an affinity for animal lore, she could sense something was up. Deciding that Fluttershy was better at this sort of thing, she promised her pet to seek her out and get a pet-to-pony translation.

But as we know Fluttershy was already nearby. In fact, less than a minute later Rainbow could hear the sobs of two of her friends. She rounded the bend and discovered these ponies’ identities. As much as it tugged at her heart, she had become used to Fluttershy bursting into tears. Perhaps it was because Tank had escaped her, but to see Pinkie Pie crying was too much for her to sit back and mull over.

"Pinkie?" she said as she approached, sounding more stunned than empathetic. "Are you...crying?"

But before the fastest mare in Equestria could receive her answer, three new ponies and a dragon had appeared on the scene. Rarity and Applejack had been following Fluttershy as you know and when they passed her tree house, a troubled Twilight and a confused Spike decided to tag along.

"So you two were out trying to find Opal? Wait-Applejack! When did you last see Winona?" said Twilight. Now that they were approaching, their conversation could be heard.

"Ah told you once and I'll tell ya again" said a very frustrated Applejack. "Winona's an outdoors pup. She comes and goes as she pleases. I can't tell ya when I last saw her."

"Twilight, I'm as worried over our companions as you but there is such a thing as a coincidence." said Rarity.

"I still don't know what a Trololometer is!" exclaimed Spike.

But the four characters halted their bickering when they saw the wet faces of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Pinkie's face was clenched together and comical amounts of tears were making her look positively defeated. Spike was the first to give the pink earth pony a hug, and was followed by everypony else. Everypony, everydragon, and everytortoise had joined in to comfort her, still not knowing what had broken her heart.

Twilight had nuzzled her and tried to get her to explain what was wrong, but Pinkie remained silent although hiccupping on occasion. If you are lucky enough to be close friends with Pinkie Pie, you'll know that when she's really upset, she says nothing. She took 'If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all' and made it 'If you're not going to talk about sunshine and lollipops, don't say anything at all' which is sad in its own rights.

Nopony had managed to get Pinkie to open up to them before yet another somepony new showed up. This somepony new was sweaty coated mayor.

"Oh thank goodness! I've found you!" she panted "Princess Celestia needs to talk to you. The six of you. She's in Town Hall but she wants to speak with you last. That means you go in after Spike, who goes in after her one-on-one with that little orange pegasus Scootaboo or whatever."

And with that the frantic mare continued on her way to locate Rarity's parents as she had already found Sweetie Belle.

The ponies, understanding the importance of a royal summons, ventured towards Town Hall immediately. Pinkie Pie wiped her eyes, glad she didn't have to confront any feelings of hers that were not complete pleasantness. Twilight Sparkle was relieved, confident that the Princess would have the answers to her idle questions and she would return to comfortably knowing everything. Rainbow was confused; knowing her little buddy Scootaloo was going to have a one on one with the nation’s ruler. Fluttershy was afraid; whatever spooked away all her animals must have been big and scary. Applejack was anxious; summons had proven to lead them into danger in the past. Rarity tripped on a rock.

When they arrived it had become apparent that the one on one's were taking longer than expected. What surprised the ponies was that the others going in before them were all friends and family. Which I suppose, wasn't so unlikely considering what a wonderfully kind world they inhabited. By the time it was Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie and the other ones' turn to meet Celestia, the sun had fallen and a refreshingly cool evening followed.

When Scootaloo emerged from the hall she promptly found her friends Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. Sweetie had very deep and very nasty looking scratches all up and down her legs from when Opal had squirmed out of them.

"I'll keep it quick" Promised Spike as he went for his one on one. He knew how long and stressful their day had been, especially with the fearful atmosphere.

"Thank you Spike" said Twilight, who never forgot her manners.

Applejack was still trying to sucker her baby sister into telling her what the Princess had told them.

"Ah told you we ain't supposed to say nothing!" pleaded Apple Bloom.

Applejack's brow furrowed for a moment and then receded. She wouldn't force it out of her, but Applejack also knew that whatever the princess had said spooked her to a snowy white made paler by the twilight.

Less than half a minute later, Spike emerged. Considering the others were in there for upwards of forty minutes each; he felt a little ripped off and looked confused.

The time was now. Rarity, Twilight, Pinkie, and the other ones stepped forward, passed through the elegant door into Ponyville’s heart and hall, each unaware of the quest they were about to be given. A quest that would take them beyond the world they knew and into the mysterious lands beyond.

"Luna my dear, it's been far too long" Smiled the black stallion, finally seeing his old friend.

Allow me to firmly establish that this black stallion is not actually buddies with Princess Luna. In fact, the two of them had been enemies for a very, very long time. He was just one of the suave villains who refer to their foes by 'dear' or 'chum'. For example, if Discord were to return he might call Twilight his 'old friend' with a disturbed laugh.

The stallion had appeared from the shadows, as was his nature, in the Canterlot Gardens. Luna had been expecting his arrival, which is why Equestria's fifth coolest alicorn had left the castle grounds, to spare the ponies that lived there and because home insurance in Equestria was virtually non-existent.

The black stallion was heavy set and had two wings, making him technically a pegasus. Although his wings were not the ordinary feathery appendages you see jutting out of cute ponies like Fluttershy. No, his wings were bat-like with sinister hooks and a red undercoat. Even though this pony-if such a cutesy title were permitted on him-was a pegasus, he had always been on the cutting edge of modern magic much like he was well versed in the arcane.

Luna, who could hardly be called a snappy word player, replied with nothing.

The Canterlot Gardens were normally filled with beautiful hedge trimming and intricate statues; although in the dark they did nothing but cast silhouettes upon a screen of a million shiny stars. The light cascading from the great, round moon was all the pair of ancient rivals had to work with. Well, that and the magic lights that set certain displays aglow, like the magnificent statue of Starswirl the Bearded, gazing out into the cosmos and entwined in ivy.

The princess of the night gazed upon the great round light that had once been her purgatory. When she had returned, she took the form of the wicked Nightmare Moon. She couldn't help but draw parallels to the stallion presenting himself to her. He had been exiled to the shadows a long time ago, and now he had returned, perhaps more a demon than he ever was. But unlike her, she knew that this stallion could not be saved from the path he had chosen.

"You are very naive, showing your face here so soon" taunted Luna, beginning to circle her opponent.

"You too are very naive, for not running when you had the chance" he taunted right back, beginning to circle her as well. "Tell, me, where's that sister of yours? You two were a duo that couldn't be undone. Never was I given a fair fight. You know, one versus one"

"So a fight is what you have come here for" Observed Luna

"The problem is I haven't come here at all. At least not yet" said the stallion, coyly flashing a set of white fangs.

The black stallion stopped his circling along with Luna. He smiled at the look of confusion on the alicorn’s face.

"After all, I'm just a shadow" And with that, the Black Stallion engaged her in battle.

His move. He quickly used Black Wing, a heavy set attack punching a sizable 45k. With a great heave of the stallion's great batwings, a black gust assailed the Princess, knocking her back.

Always one for defence over brutality she cast a Twilight Mirror on herself. Her horn glowed purple and a violet bubble cascaded shard by shard from the heavens, swallowing the Princess of the Night. This protective field could rebound offensive spells on the caster. Although it's success rate was low.

Thanks to Luna's Crest of Multitasking, she was now able to use an item before the play returned to her foe. She smiled. It had been so long since her last fight she was all stocked up on everything she could ever want. When she was smaller, she had difficulties raising the moon at dusk. She would slam it into stars or knock meteors to the earth. It was always because she would try and do other things at the same time like brush her pearly white teeth of the night. The crest was a gift from her sister, allowing her to maintain both good dental hygiene and fulfill her lunar duties. She decided to remain conservative and select a more common item. Namely, a Super Potion, because a Duper Potion wasn't quite necessary.

The Super Potion restored 50k, bringing her hit points back up to 165k, their maximum. She licked her lips of the lemony flavor and braced for the stallion's turn.

In traditional RPG manor, the next logical move in the shadow colt's arsenal was to summon a meteor shower with the express intent of barraging a relatively small target, which is exactly what he did. He flew into the air, encircling himself with many vibrant glyphs while chunks of space rock banked around him. They tore up the nicely trimmed lawn and marked the end of several belabored sculptures. But it only dealt a measly 10k to Luna, who had been wearing her cosmos-cosmetic blush, which offered space rock resistance.

Seeing the destruction her enemy had already brought to her home, a fire lit in the pony's heart. A fire that burned to her core and, if you have ever had the delight of meeting Princess Luna, you would know could only mean one thing. Gamers might call it a Limit Break or a Special Attack or really any other name that means 'Super Powerful Flank-Kicking Move'.

Surely enough she used the action unique to her and her alone. It was called Nightmare, and began with the darkening of their surroundings; until all was black save for the two opponents. Then, several violet glyphs manifested before her filled with ancient text. Three bolts of pale white lightning sprung from her horn with a flourish. With a cathartic whoosh they pierced the stallion's heart. A critical hit. The darkness gave way to their usual surroundings.

But by the time the Canterlot Gardens had returned around them, the black stallion had gone leaving his cruel laughter to slowly dissipate into silence. He had returned to shadow and slipped away. Luna, whose heart was pounding with concern, understood that her opponent had been a phantom sent by the real stallion. These realizations lead her to some relief. Perhaps the stallion wasn't a close as she feared.

She stared at the place the stallion had stood moments before. It was nothing but slightly damp albeit well trimmed grass. Her shoulders slumped and she fell. The earth rushed to meet up with her head and beautiful mane. Tears of a weaker pony escaped her.

The last time she and Celestia had defeated this stallion they were blessed with luck, youth and mistakes on his part. She could not be certain she would have strength enough to do it again, should Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and the other ones fail.

Author's Note

That right there was my very first published fanfic. Be sure to let me know what you think. I fully plan to continue this adventure unless people really hate it, but who's to say that'll stop me? To be honest I have no idea what I'm even doing. I've mostly been rolling my face across the keyboard. But hey, we all have our tricks!

Sincerely; ThatOneYellowPony

Oh yes: and a big thanks to Cl0setBr0ny101 for editing this chapter for me. Everypony's so kind here!

2: Welcome to the Shadow Lands

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// Story: The Awesome Quest of My Little Ponies
// Chapter: Chapter 2: Welcome to the Shadow Lands
// Author: ThatOneYellowPony
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It's a strange feeling, waking up someplace unfamiliar with no memories to even suggest how you got there. Spike had once been resting all cozy and warm inside a little dragon egg before out of nowhere a sweaty little unicorn freed him as part of some entrance exam. He had rapidly grown until he was so large his not-so-little skull smashed a hole in the examination hall's ceiling.

Perhaps this is why she almost fell back unconscious when she awoke from a cold morning's breeze on the top of a grassy green hill with nothing even remotely recognizable in any direction. Her line of sight wasn't impaired by anything, in fact she could see so far over the tree tops that the world simply dipped below the horizon. In an attempt to gather her thoughts she glanced about herself. In her inventory she had a few potions, a black key, and a single orb of elementia.

The first thing to strike her as odd was that she had just ‘checked her inventory’. She didn't even know what that meant. She looked about herself and saw that she was naked as per usual. Where or how she was stashing a key, orb, and a few potions escaped her. There was no proof of their existence yet somehow she knew she had them, like it was in some invisible pouch slung over her back. She also knew that she was a level one with zero experience points, although she didn't understand where she was reading that from. Perhaps her mind had begun to organize itself like the encyclopedias that were her first true love. She blushed in spite of her situation. Books were the dashing stallions in the eyes of ponies like Twilight. Oh what she would have given to have but a single encyclopedia on her. Even if it were just the letter H, or G, yeah she quite liked G...

The purple unicorn forced herself to snap out of it. She still had no idea how she had arrived on the tip top of a grassy hill on a sunny day somewhere between nowhere and nowhere else. Raking her brain, she remembered something about the shadow lands beyond Equestria's borders and that she and her friends where being sent there on an important mission. She remembered being warned by Luna moments before they were teleported out of Equestria that they would likely be scattered upon arrival due to the complicated magical protection that they would have to snake through on the way out.

She tried to pull out the black key but then remembered the wise words of Princess Celestia:

"Twilight, there is a time and place for everything: you can't use that item here"

A statement that was strangely specific to say the least.

She then pulled out her orb of elementia, which thankfully she was permitted to do, and a flood of memories returned at its sight. It was about the size of her eyeball, which was actually pretty massive, and bore her cutie mark on it. It was the color of her violet coat. Actually, the more she looked at it the more it looked like somepony had ripped off a hunk of her flank, but there was no tail protruding from it to fit the look.

She was given this in town hall, less than a day ago. She remembered Celestia's instructions:

"These elements have the power to awaken what lies inside. I created them with my level 87 crafting skill. Do you know how long it took me to get all the Blue Ore I needed? I mined so many plain materials that I built the city of Canterlot during my breaks. No really. Brick by brick too"

So this thing was supposed to unlock her inner potential. Great. Now if only she could figure out what that meant.

Her reverie was interrupted by a familiar "YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!!" from behind her.

Twilight whirled around to see her orange friend riding what appeared to be a giant brown wolf. She had a firm hold on the canine's ears, but that didn't stop the charging beast from stopping and bucking her off.

"Uh oh!" yelped the orange pony as she rose into a high arc. What a pity it must be not to have wings. She landed with a ‘whump’ in front of Twilight's feet.

Applejack, being a tough pony, couldn't let a measly little three story drop wind her, especially not in front of her friend Twilight.

"H-howdy ‘Twi" she said after a few coughs "fancy seeing you here. Woke up to this here feller's bad breath. Bucked him with my hind legs before I could get both eyes open and I don't suspect he liked that. Whataya say we show this mutt who’s boss?" She finished with a wink.

"I thought Celestia was the boss, although I think it would be more accurate to call her a mentor or a governor or perhaps-"

"I meant let's fight this thing"

"Fight it?! AJ are you nuts?! The thing's bigger than Trixie's butt!" Ever since Trixie had jokingly called Twilight pudgy, she had not too subtly been implying that the boastful pony was overweight.

The wolf, growing impatient, roared into the two friends' faces.

Twilight's heart stopped. She was all out of ideas, and she hadn't even had one yet. A few moments passed, the three combatants just kind of standing there.

"Is, is anypony going to do anything?" asked AJ after a few moments more

"Why haven't you?" replied Twilight

"Better yet, why hasn't that big bad wolf-WHAT THE HAY IS THAT?!" the orange pony shouted, pointing a hoof at the blinking blue circle below Twilight's feet.

"Cursor?! CUUUUUURRRSOOOOORRRR!" she tried to run away from it but found herself constrained as though by magic to about a meter and a half squared.

"I think this is part of the whole turned base combat thing Celestia mentioned. I can't seem to remember exactly what her highness said, but I think that blue thing means it's your turn. Better make it count."

"Combat? You mean you want me to attack? But I don't have that kind of power inside me-" she stopped midsentence and her eyes dilated to the size of Frisbees. She pulled out her orb of elementia and observed as it burst into a brilliant light and she remembered a scene from her past.

"Twilight, your special talent has always lied in magic. Therefore it should come as no surprise that your inner power has to do with the mastery of combat magic. When there is an enemy resistant to physical battery, you must step in and unhinge them with carefully selected attacks. Remember though: your health and physical strength are both low end. Don't forget that spells eat up mana and promise me you will use your powers responsibly. If you don't want to walk through tall grass because you're afraid of random battles, it is NOT acceptable to burn it all to ash with a quick rain of fire. It is however, acceptable to use a lightning bolt to zap the stupid grin off of that stupid Trixie who thinks she's better than you" Princess Celestia had told her during their six on one, although that last point might only have been said in a very pleasant dream.

She snapped back to her present

"Twilight? I'm uh, ah'm getting a little bored here"

Without another work she summoned a fireball which burst out from her horn and dealt 103 damage points to the wolf. She wasn't sure how she knew the exact value of damage she dealt or even how one would go about measuring this, but as she witnessed her own power, a very different kind of fire lit in my little pony’s heart. That right there, that was cool.

"How did you-" started Applejack, to whom the blue cursor had relocated.

"Pull out your orb! You'll see!"

Applejack pulled out her orb of elementia, an orange orb with her apple cutie mark on it, which burst into light like Twilight's had done. Likewise, Applejack remembered a detail from their last meet up with the Princess.

"Applejack, you will be the party's tank. All those years of lifespan shortening labor have allowed you to build up tough, manly muscles. Of all you six ponies, you are capable of dealing the most damage. You also have the most hit points and highest defense. That means that ideally, you will be drawing the enemies to you with your sentinel abilities. Remember: you're not doing your job right unless they're pounding the day's breakfast out of you. You're doing a great job if they're pounding yesterday's breakfast out of you. You may not have fancy spells or even mana points, but if I know you you're more comfortable with the direct hit-‘em-till-they-can't-stand-up method of confrontation. Just make sure you're being healed or even you'll run out of steam."

Like Twilight, it only took a moment for Applejack to snap into her battle role as if it were instinctual. It's kind of like how we gamers don't need to read manuals. Somehow we just...know...

Anyways, AJ pounced at the wolf, twisting her form and bucking him with a solid 'thwack'. 342 damage. She bounced straight back in line catching her hat and getting a full 10 of 10 for radicalness.

The two ponies grinned at one another. Despite themselves they were in awe of how strikingly awesome their new found ability was. Unfortunately, as often happens when somepony is high on excitement, the world is quick to drag you back down. You see, while the two cutesy ponies hopped about and giggled, the blue cursor whisked its way over to the heavy set paws of Mr. Big Bad himself. After having been engulfed in fire and kicked by two very hard hooves, the wolf wasn't exactly in the mood to courteously wait for them to be ready.

The wolf used Maw, leaping upon Twilight and clamping his teeth down upon her. You might think that a tough thing to walk away from, but remember that here in battle mode, nopony really gets hurt, instead their hit points slowly deplete until they pass out. Passed out ponies, sometimes called 'dead' ponies, can be revived using magic or items. Keep in mind that revives don't always work. We call that the Aerith’s Law.

Twilight shrieked as her hit points dropped by 234 down to 289.

"Hey! We weren't ready for that ya dirt dog!" yelled Applejack. "Twilight, did he hurt you?"

"I should be fine" said Twilight, a little shaken, like how I enjoy my orange juice.

"I shouldn't let him hit you. Tell you what; I got this sentinel ability called Sucker Punch. Says here in the description It'll provoke him to hit me instead." said Applejack, eying her enemy. Even she wasn't quite sure what she meant by 'in the description', but it was her turn now and she was going to make it count.

"How do you like these apples!?" She cried as she power-bucked him once more. The technique cost a few ability points and wasn't as strong as a regular attack, but it was capable of drawing aggression, which is all AJ was looking for. Not that it would matter, because this was the hit that defeated the low level beast. The wolf burst into a flashy puff of smoke and was gone.

"Celestia, I did it!" Chirped Twilight automatically as she and Applejack performed a small victory dance.

Applejack burst out in laughter "What was that?!"

"I don't know! It was like I had no control" blushed Twilight. Her victory quip had come out in a very high, very sweet voice that rivaled Pinkie Pie's cheeriest of greetings.

Then, out of nowhere, the two of them erupted in sparkling lights, leveling up to level two.

"Hey we're stronger now!" cried Twilight in the excitement of it all.

"Wow! I bet all our leveling up will be that easy." cried Applejack

"We two level two's can take on anything now!"

"Hey, look! That dog dropped 7 bits and a magic jewel!"

"Brother! How many times have I told you we’re not supposed-ta be here! Sky says there are baddies out here" said the voice of a colt that Fluttershy couldn’t distinguish.

Actually, Fluttershy was only just starting to stir out from unconsciousness. She had no idea where the voices were in relation to her and only had vague recollections of the mission Celestia had sent her and her friends on.

"I ain't afraid" said a much younger male voice. He sounded like his mouth hadn't fully developed yet. "I could take on a dragon!"

"No you can't because I'm your big brother and I say so! You're just a baby!" said the older colt, although he too sounded quite young

"Yeah, huh?! Well look! I found myself a mud monster!" the younger said, Fluttershy being able to hear the glow in his eyes.

There was a pause

"That's no mud monster. That’s a pony...I...I don't see her breathing." a longer pause "Go home Pip." said the older colt, managing to keep his composure.

"She's not dead, Plop" came a third voice which sounded suspiciously like Rainbow Dash's.

Apparently, her presence was a surprise, as Fluttershy could hear the two boys jump and fall back into what sounded like dry leaves or ferns.

"She's been there all day, covered her in mud to keep the beasts from getting at her. She's been blacked out all day. I've been gathering berries all the while. At least I was until I heard you two bad apples barreling through the woods" Her voice was spiteful.

"It's not my fault! He left! We was playing tag and he left out a bounds and I chased him but he kept going and I-" started Plop, stopping when the female pony stuffed her hoof into his mouth. Ponies do that a lot. I don’t know why.

"Not another word. We'll continue this at home, where you both belong and you know it. We'll take the pink haired one with us: she stirs"

Groggily, the cream pony opened her eyes, one at a time. Before her were three ponies. Pip was the smallest with a brown mane and dark green coat. Next was Plop with a brown coat and tan mane. Last was the mare with the voice of Rainbow Dash, who also shared many of her physical traits. Sky, as this pony was called, had a light tan coat and a blonde mane that matched Rainbow’s to a tee. Her eyes were green but despite that they somehow screamed of RDs pink ones. Her cutie mark was a knife of sorts. It could be seen through her leather armor. They all had leather on. The similarities were still remarkable.

One hoof as a time, she lifted herself from the mud with a 'schleeeeeeerp' noise.

"Pony; can you walk?" asked Sky, stepping forward and eying her hardly.

"Y-yes, I think so" said Fluttershy. It was actually easy for the timid pony to talk to somepony who so closely resembled her friend.

"Then come, we can talk much on the way" said Sky without a moment’s hesitation.

The four of them set off following some unmarked trail only Sky could see. They were in the woods and the stars were out: a thousand beautiful lights that peaked through the tall pines. The forest floor had rich, earthy dirt that squished pleasantly under their hooves. All around them were crinkly ferns and old rotted out stumps.

"I couldn't help but notice you were a level one. Explain that." said Sky. She was polite but firm in her demands.

"Oh, I, level one? I don't know what you mean" said Fluttershy.

"I thought so. Don't tell me: you're an Equestrian Pony aren't you?"

"Yes! Eep! Does that mean we're in the shadow lands?!" She stopped and stiffened. The woods had gone from strangely beautiful to the most horrifyingly horrible horror she had ever been in.

"Yeah, you're in the shadow lands. But this place ain't what you think it is. Just as safe and cozy as your Equestria, so long as you stay away from what I like to call the real shadow lands" said Sky. Fluttershy returned to a moderate pace, trembling in lingering fear.

"Yeah! You don't-" started Plop before Sky promptly instructed him to "Zip it!"

"What do you mean the real shadow lands?" asked Fluttershy.

"Look, kid, I'll tell you it straight: I used to be like you. I used to live right there in Ponyville, right where it was at. I even knew Celestia. Heck, she knew my name I knew hers. Pretty big feat for an earth pony. She told me what she told everyone: A bunch of lies. The biggest lie of all was that the shadow lands were some horrible place filled with, I don't know, demons or something. Had to be something bad ‘cause she always made it sound so darn terrifying. She didn't tell me there were villages out here. She didn't tell me there were cities, societies, trains, all the works. Yeah sure, there are monsters out there, but if you've got some kick in ya you'll be fine: We're here"

Before them stood a great log cabin with a single stack of smoke emitting from the chimney. Several quarts of firewood lay bundled beside it.

"This is my home kid" said Sky "You can stay here a bit but I want you gone in a week. Ask no more questions. Now we rest ‘cause tomorrow I’m teaching you hoof to hoof combat."

Darkness. Darkness was all Rarity could see. Great crushing blackness so deep you could lose yourself in it. She was lying on something cold and hard. Realizing she had her eyes closed, she opened them.

Darkness. Darkness was all Rarity could see. Great crushing blackness so deep you could lose yourself in it. She was lying on something cold and hard, but at least her eyes were now open.

Using magic she lit up her immediate surroundings. She appeared to be in a small natural cave, but she didn't know which way was out. Unlike her compatriots, she had zero memory of how she got there or the six on one meeting they had with the princess.

"Hello! Can anypony hear me?!" she called desperately "I think I've fallen and I can't get up!"

She listened closely for a reply that didn't come. She continued to gaze at her surroundings until a small glint caught her eyes. When you are as into jewels and treasure as Rarity is, you too would be able to pick out the glint of something valuable anywhere and anytime. In a heartbeat the Element of Generosity seemed to warp over to it, a grin taking up most of her face. It only grew bigger when she realized the small golden goblet was a lone roll-away from a far greater mountain of valuables.

She stopped dead in her tracks, mouth agape. No matter how inviting the pile of jewels and gold seemed, it could never cloud the unicorn's judgment when it came to dragons. This here was clearly a dragon's den. On one hoof, she knew that dragons and dragon dens went together like chocolate and happy mares. On the other hoof, dragons were notoriously loud snorers. She used a quick check-time spell to determine it was well past spike's beddy-bye time. Surely all dragons, like Spike, would be long asleep by 5:30! Clearly, there was no dragon here, which meant it would be more than all right for her to take a few of the less precious, precious, gemstones.

No sooner did she lay a hoof on the hoard then a voice barked "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE PALACE VAULT!!!!!"

On cue, several magically powered spotlights blasted her with light.

Lightness. Lightness was all Rarity could see. Retina-burning glory so striking you couldn't find your way out. She fell back onto a mound of jagged trinkets. Realizing she had her eyes open, she closed them.

"I'm innocent! You can't arrest me! I call upon the finders’ keepers’ clause!!!" She shouted as unseen ponies wrapped hooves around her and began to drag her in an unknown direction.

"Hey Copper Hooves, this pony’s a level one!" said one of the guards while Rarity continued to shout on and on about her basic pony rights.

"She naked too, what's your point?" said Copper Hooves.

"Think: only player characters rip off all their armor and take on all the palace guards as a part some pointlessly greedy endeavor." said the first guard, who was named Blackmane.

"You're-You're right! That makes us NPCs!"

"I knew it!"

Author's Note

Before anypony asks: no, not every battle will be described turn by turn. That would be boring. Oh yeah, and again: to be continued.

Sincerely; ThatOneYellowPony

A big thanks to Cl0setBr0ny101 for editing this chapter for me. It's always a great help!

3: Three is Company

//-----------------------------
// Story: The Awesome Quest of My Little Ponies
// Chapter: Chapter 3: Three is Company
// Author: ThatOneYellowPony
//-----------------------------

“Right! So now that you know the elements of a good battle cry, let’s hear one! Kick the dummy with all your might.” Instructed Sky as though she were a high ranking military personnel.

“Hiya!” cried Fluttershy meekly, kicking the suspended flour bag with all her might. 1 damage.

“Ugh, you’re going to use that as your battle cry?” Said Sky, face-hoofing “Louder”

“Hiya!” cried Fluttershy, perhaps three quarters of a smidge louder than before. Again she dealt 1 damage to the dummy.

“Louder!”

“Hiya!” 2 damage, she’s getting better you know.

“LOOUUUDEEEEEERR!!!”

Fluttershy took a very deep breath in before emitting a “Hiya!” just as preciously as ever. This time her dealt damage returned to 1. I guess she got a critical that one time.

Sky was on the brink of giving up. The pair of them had been at this all morning and it was becoming painfully clear that the first bear, dragon, or giant floating eye with wings the yellow pony encountered would be her last. She seemed the kind of pony who would fit best in a really big adventuring squad, staying in the back and never, ever, ever doing anything.

Even though Sky had wanted to go to bed last night, the endearing pegasus had managed to get her talking long into the night. Together they decided the best course of action was for Fluttershy to head to a place called New Canterlot. Knowing Fluttershy had apparently vanquished some dragon thingy named Discord, a mare of terrible dark magic, a changeling queen, and some dark cloud with poison-green eyeballs, Sky assumed that Celestia had sent the pony here to take care of the ‘real shadows’ that were the only true blight on the land. New Canterlot was the home of a black stallion everypony knew of but few knew by name. The glass windows of his dark replica of the Equestrian capitol depict several gruesome acts being committed on alicorns resembling Luna and Celestia. The mysterious stallion seemed the likely reason Equestria had been sealed in its own little bubble long ago. Living in dangerous proximity to New Canterlot was a stallion named Firetrotter. Everypony Sky knew said that Firetrotter was some sort of all-knowing oracle with a special means of communicating with the ‘Bringer of Day’ Celestia.

Unfortunately New Canterlot was somewhere between 3 and 4 zillion kilometers away, and Sky really, really didn’t want to escort Fluttershy there. The pony lacked the stuff that put the ‘tough’ in ‘tough ponies’ like Sky. After all, Fluttershy had trouble sleeping last night because being someplace unfamiliar and isolated was making her scared. You and I might spill our hearts out at the thought of that but Sky was far too hardened to---actually, she found it heart wrenching too, but dang it she had a reputation to uphold!

“You know maybe you should just stick to using potions and using the flee command as often as possible” suggested Sky as Fluttershy continued to chip away at the flour bags health one point at a time.

“But you said there are big scary monsters out there, and I don’t have anypony to keep me safe…” The poor pony took a breather to voice her fear. Her body sunk as though hanging from a hook. She really was giving it her all, despite the fear and worry doing everything short of torturing her. Impressively, despite the sadness of the pony before her, Sky managed to keep a stern demeanor despite her internal organs dissolving into slurry.

“Fine; I’ll take you out hunting with me so you can see how a pro does it. Stick close, because I it’ll be the end of ya if ya get in a fight without me.” Said Sky truthfully.
Fluttershy threw her arms around an unsuspecting Sky, the earth pony’s demeanor breaking into an undesired smile.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” breathed Fluttershy.

Sky awkwardly rested a hoof on her shoulder. What was she going to do with her?

“All I’m saying is they should at least have the courtesy to label the potions ‘health potions’ otherwise how are ponies like me supposed to figure anything out?” complained Twilight to Applejack as they trotted through the pine forest, following the sandy bank of a small creek.

“You’re just mad cause you couldn’t figure out how to heal yourself and I had to help” said a very smug Applejack.

“You know how I used to spend my Tuesday evenings? Labeling, because labeling helps save everypony from looking foalish!”

“Still sounds like sour apples to me” smiled Applejack, although Twilight had already stopped “What’s the matter?”

“There’s a bridge over there” she observed. Surely enough, a small bridge constructed of little red bricks connected a cobblestone path from one side of the creek to a dirt path on the other.

“Just a bridge Twi” said Applejack, motioning her friend to carry on.

“It’s a pony-made bridge. We’ve been in the Shadow lands for almost a full day and not once did we come across any signs of pony kind. If we take one of these paths, perhaps we can find out a little more about where we are. This may not even be the Shadow Lands, which means we’re going to have to hustle to make it there and do whatever it is Celestia wants done.“ The purple pony frowned. It was becoming apparent that she knew very little about anything anymore, which swallowed the pony’s heart in a deep dark pit somewhere within.

Applejack trotted over to her purple pal and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Look, I reckon if we find a way to civilization, we’re gonna find a way to get back together with our friends, cuz I’ll bet you bits to fritters they’re gonna be looking for us too”

“Gosh, you really seem confident we’ll find them” sniffed Twilight.

“We always do. Now let’s get going on the cobbly-pathy thingy. Don’t tell Rarity or nothing, but I don’t like muddy hooves if I can avoid ‘em”

The two ponies trotted along in silence, admiring the beauty of the world around them. The path rode with the land, never cutting through it, which made it feel like a feature of the earth itself. The sounds of the flowing water and the creeks of the evergreens calmed the two ponies who, once the excitement of their awesome RPG powers started to fade, had succumbed to homesickness and worry. After a blissful hour, the two of them had reached a very steep section leading them up a very rocky hill overlooking a very large lake. On the path they had only a few encounters with level ones and level twos which they could handle with moderate ease. The two of them were starting to get comfortable in their respective battle roles.

Cresting the hill they saw a small inn with a poorly written sign reading ‘Griff Game Specials here at Lucky’s Inn! Bit of a commute but hey! More bits for you! Cheap rates guarantee!!”

The inn overlooked the lake, which had a distant town on the far coast. Details were hard to make out but the town looked to be celebrating something, with brightly colored circus tents spread about on the surrounding hills.

The inn itself was decorated with cheap banners and the occasional balloon that floated so low it looked in pain. Pinkie would have cried her eyes out. Other than the pitifully lame decor the inn was small but held a quaint charm to it. It had a straw roof and green highlights. Applejack noticed the door was mahogany. Twilight noticed the door was wood. Regardless, they pushed it open.

The lobby was small with the odd griffon here or there. Behind the counter was Lucky: a blue unicorn with a blonde mane, tiny glasses and a plain cloth garment. He wore a charming smile when he saw fellow ponies.

“Ponies in griffon country! And ones I haven’t seen before too! What brings you so far east? No no! Don’t tell me! Is it, the Griff Games by chance?” Lucky had that smug business-pony tone like Flim and Flam did.

“Actually, I was hoping you’d give us a map. My friend and I are from Equestria and we need to figure out where ‘here’ is” explained Twilight promptly.

Lucky blinked. He had once been asked a similar question by a pony named Sky. At first he hadn’t believed her but with time her story made sense, and if he had learned anything through her it was that the Shadow lands really were that different and that frightening to ponies from Equestria. Normally, Lucky also ran a shop because NPCs don’t do anything but stand around anyways. This meant that a map of the known world should have costed 20 bits, but he gave them one for free in the hopes that it could help them out in some small way.

“Thank you, your small contribution to our cause may one day save Equestria from-“

“WHAT, ARE THEY FOLLOWING US?!!” exclaimed somepony outside.

Twilight and Applejack looked at each other and without a word confirmed that they were indeed thinking the same thing: Rainbow Dash. Who else would have a voice that scratched at all the right pitches like RD’s?

Lucky hopped the counter and ran towards the door, certain he had heard Sky. This far east, there weren’t a lot of other ponies it could be.

After AJ and Twi, a few griffons followed, because curiosity is a curious thing.

One griffon stayed behind because every lobby has that one unique chair that sucks you in so hard, your entire family would have to contract a deadly illness before you’d consider vacating it.

Just down the cobblestone path was the tan colored earth pony named Sky. A shadowy entity resembling a pterodactyl hovered over her, screeching madly. Cowering beside the pony was Fluttershy, who drew the attention of the party immediately.

“Fluttershy, hold on!” shrieked Twilight, her and Applejack dashing towards the monster.

“Looks like a level three. I wouldn’t have been able to handle this on my own if I were your level, so I’ll take him off your hands.” said Sky. Not that it mattered; their field training had always resulted in the higher level Sky taking over and whipping the butt of whatever was in their way.

Applejack and Twilight, who hadn’t yet grasped the art of determining somepony’s level, didn’t know that Sky was level fifteen and could easily defeat the beast who was indeed level three.

“Don’t worry now! We got yer back!” said Applejack, spitting at the road and growling at the abomination.

“We just need to work together!” affirmed Twilight, taking a battle stance beside her orange friend, digging at the grass with her hoof.

Surviving out in the wilds requires a certain amount of quick-thinking skills on part of ponies like Sky. This is why whenever she leveled up she would always put at least one point into her Sharpness Stat. Although initially she had thought a higher Sharpness Stat would cause her to sprout a steadily more impressive horn to learn magic with. So when she saw the two level twos galumphing towards her an idea hatched.

“Fluttershy! Listen to me! Let these two ponies join the party and I’ll leave it! You three should be able to handle this, but you’ve got to promise me you’ll try to really be a fighter this time! Okay?” speed-rapped Sky, placing her forehooves on either side of Fluttershy’s head. She knew she had to be quick, before the encounter officially started.

Fluttershy whimpered and nodded. Applejack and Twilight were too distracted by the frightening creature’s wails to hear the pair of them.

“If I have to I’ll help and if you need it I’ll coach you through turn by turn but you’re not going to get anywhere if I’m always right here.” Sensing her time was closing and unnerved by the beasts snarls, growls, and screeches, she leapt back, leaving the party as Twilight and Applejack automatically switched in.

And not a moment too soon; the encounter officially started between the darkspawn, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle when the spawn used Roar, lowering the strength of the three ponies. Fluttershy’s turn.

“Shy, am I ever glad to see you! Now why in the hay did that tan pony up and leave? We’re gonna need all we can get and then some to take down this beasty!” said Applejack.

Instead of explaining, Fluttershy merely whimpered at the blue blinking beneath her.

“It’s only a level three featherbrains!” shouted a griffon from the sides.

“C’mon that’s the basics! Just cause it looks tough doesn’t mean-”Sky stopped mid sentence. Why would she have to explain that? Her heart sunk: these ponies were Equestrian weren’t they?

“Potions and monsters: two things that SHOULD be labeled but evidently aren’t” lamented Twilight “Now come on Fluttershy! If your inner potential is as spectacular as Applejack’s or mine, I can’t wait to see it!”

Fluttershy of course didn’t know she had an orb of elementia that, when unleashed, would make her life a whole lot easier. She decided to perform the only move she knew how: Attack.

The crowd of griffons and company made the nervous pony completely forgot her “hiya!” as she fluttered up to the flying darkspawn and lightly thrust a hoof into its muzzle. 1 damage. Her face was lobster red as she fluttered back down and saw her friends gawking at the, um, incredible physical trauma just unleashed. AJ’s turn.

Applejack appeared paralyzed, which is a real status ailment that will swiftly become everypony’s least favorite faster than Sweetie Belle discovered zap-apple trees really ought not to be bucked!

“Shy, that was… that was… good job Shy!” Applejack lied, which is rather unfortunate because a lying applejack is as obvious as a jealous Spike, no matter how well intentioned she was. Fluttershy’s heart broke, which led to Twilight and Applejack’s hearts breaking, which lead to your and my hearts breaking, which led to the griffons remaining indifferent because griffons don’t have hearts. Obviously.

Without further words the ponies continued their fight. Applejack was beginning to master the subtle art of hitting things really hard and drawing aggression with cheesy insults (“Ah ever introduce you to Kicks McGee?”), when it wasn’t her turn Twilight was using calculus to derive an understanding of how to most effectively use her current three spells, and Fluttershy’s esteem dropped lower and lower as she continued to do the only action she knew how. At first her friends and those who were watching tried to encourage her with cheers, but it wasn’t long before her turns were followed by lingering awkward silences where nopony said anything at all.

The trouble came in with the darkspawn, who was a particularly brutal level three. Despite being only one level higher than Twi and AJ and two higher than Fluttershy, a serious can of whoop-flank had been opened. Without any magic abilities the beast focused on physical, area of effect style attacks like Black Wing. It would hardly be a rotation before Fluttershy would have to bust into their potion supply and heal members up. The only other ability the beast had was simply Attack, most always directed to the agro-drawing Applejack. Their potions depleted even faster because Fluttershy’s hit points were almost criminally low and nopony in the party knew how to revive a fallen member. Sky kept insisting they could just use a Muffin or stop at an inn, but they were in the middle of battle and had no Muffins in inventory. The beast was also considered a low-flyer type, which meant melee attacks had a tendency to miss, lowering the speed the ‘Apple-tank’ could dish out the pain.

The fight went on, and before they knew it their small supply of potions had depleted, the last being used on Fluttershy. Following this, the darkspawn used Black Wing, which hit the full party for critical damage, felling Twilight, leaving Applejack in the red zone of her health bar and taking Fluttershy down to about half health.

Sky facehoofed. These three ponies should have been able to handle this. The worst part was she suspected they were two, maybe three, solid hits from winning. The trouble came from poor healing methods and Fluttershy being completely incapable.

“I’m stepping in.” announced Sky, the disappointment in her voice hard to miss.

Fluttershy looked at the ground, not to observe the curser under her hooves, but because she had been told they could handle this. Although that’s not to say she wasn’t a bit surprised to find it was her turn again, as turns were determined by an Initiative Stat she didn’t really understand. Apparently battle etiquette here was above the let’s-all-go-in-a-circle method of turn order.

Brzzzt! “oof!”

Sky was bumped back from trying to enter the battle. She looked quite confused. She tried towards them again but there was another Brzzzt! noise and she was thrown backwards.

“uh-oh” said Sky

“Whatya mean ‘uh-oh’?” said Applejack, wincing.

“It’s not letting me join the party mid battle” said Sky, her eyebrow furrowing.

“What the? Whatya? WHAT’s stopping yeh!?”

“Same thing that stops you leaving you little square meter when it’s not your turn. It’s just called the rules. Been here a while but I’m not usually in parties. I thought I could just hop back in when you needed me. Sorry, I guess I can’t do that” said sky, frowning worriedly at the heap of felled unicorn that needed revival her party couldn’t offer.

“Well what’s gonna happen if we can’t get him beat in time? What if we don’t make it?!” Applejack was entering a sort of hysteria. The monster roared triumphantly. When you’re a level three beast in an RPG world you seldom ever expect to win any battles.

“It’s, you-you disappear. Just kinda fade away. I’m sorry.” Sky turned her head, her heart pounding and her eyes welling a little. Were three brand-new ponies going to bite the dust before her? “It’s game over…” she whispered, though everypony heard her.

The pterodactyl like entity seemed to smile.

“Well shy, I’m plum outta ideas. Guess we’re gonna hafta try fleeing. That’s a command we have. Reckon we can do it? Says in the description Twi will return to life with 1 hit point if we do it right. You ready?” suggested Applejack, a look of misery in her, she too didn’t want to fail their expectations.

“I think it’s our only hope. Not unless this orb I have can do us any good.” Sighed Fluttershy, ready to try the Flee command.

“You haven’t opened your orb a’ elementia?”

Silence.

“Well bring it out!!” implored Applejack, baffled she hadn’t realized this sooner.

Fluttershy removed her orb from her inventory. It was big, round, and displayed her butterfly cutie mark. At once it burst into light and a memory of a past encounter with Celestia returned to her.

“Fluttershy: congratulations. You get to be the party healer, and with it live out some of the most time-honored traditions of battle. If anything ever goes wrong, and I mean anything, you will take all of the blame despite having one of the hardest and most detrimental jobs. You’ll be using the spells ‘heal’ and ‘revive’ almost every turn for the foreseeable future. Along the way you’ll slowly gain better versions of these as well as some almost entirely useless protection spells. You class really doesn’t change until somewhere in the upper eighties. That’s when you get ludicrously powerful offensive magic that basically makes you a god trapped in a puny pegasus’ body. I tell you Divine Judgment will be totally worth it! But for now of course, I would advise you to never, under any circumstances, try to deal damage to any kind of foe before you get access to what I call ‘Holy Cow!’ magic. Leave that for ponies like Applejack and Rainbow Dash.” Celestia had told her, back in town hall, giving a wink as she did so.

Fluttershy remembered what a relief it was to know how she would never really need to fight anything.

“You know Fluttershy your and my battle classes are the same, meaning you’ll get the honor of following in my hoofprints! Oh how I remember waiting until Luna was almost but not quite felled, then healing her for as few points as possible. Ah, good times…” And that concluded Fluttershy’s memory.

“I’m a healer!” Cheered Fluttershy in one of those voices she adorable perceived as ‘loud’.

“What can you do? And I thought you needed magic to use spells”

“I think I can use either Heal or Revive”

“Rule number 83: prioritize!” shouted Sky from the sidelines, always quick to adapt to new situations. “You gotta remember now that you’re the lifeblood of this team! I think we’ve seen all the bite this puppy’s got in ‘em! Heal yourself up first because no matter what you have to be ready to survive his most powerful attack! Besides; your total hit points kinda suck!”

Stepping up to the seriousness of the situation, Fluttershy cast Heal on herself. She was embodied with a revitalizing light that restored 312 hit points. The sensation of using magic for the first time was so profoundly queer, she could scarcely describe it.

The pair of them survived the next onslaught by the darkspawn, who attacked twice in an unexpected--but not party wiping--turn of events.

Meticulously, Fluttershy continued to maintain the party’s health. In a daring play on Fluttershy’s part, she managed to revive Twilight despite having only 198 hit points. A ray of light shone from the heavens and choir of angels serenaded the unicorn’s resurrection. Twilight was revived to 262 hit points, better described as halfway to being fully healed. Although a pessimist might say she was halfway to being dead all over again.

“We shouldn’t play so rough…” said a dazed Twilight.

“What are you crazy?” Sky shouted from the sides “If he attacks you, your whole team’s done for! Bottom line! End of the road!” I imagine Sky’s shouting went on but I think you get the gist.

“Guess we don’t leave nopony behind!” sung a certain smug apple farmer, as she jumped forth and, hammering her two muddy hooves into the beasts jaw, felled the darkspawn and ended the encounter.

“Oh! Is it over?” was Fluttershy’s automatically-said victory quote as the party danced about in pride. Unfortunately there was no loot, but Fluttershy leveled up.

As soon as they could, Applejack and Twilight rushed over to hug their friend. Sky, trotted over, looking relieved but not joining in, and the griffons returned to being jerks back in the inn instead of being jerks over here. Lucky kept a respectful distance too.

“I’m so relieved you’re okay” said Twilight.

“I’m just happy I could help” blushed Fluttershy.

“Help us a little? Shy you were amazing! Why I bet if it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t of made it! Suppose you were just meant to be a healer.” Said Applejack.

“Wait a minute! You’re a healer?!” Twilight retreated from the hug scornfully. “That means you wasted all our potions!!”

“She didn’t activate her orb thinger-mer-whatsit. You kinda missed out being unconscious and all” explained AJ.

“Ooooooooohhhh…”

Two nights ago, a little dragon named Spike had gone forth for a special meeting with Princess Celestia. He hadn’t the slightest idea why he was summoned, and was one of the last to see her. She was in the middle of the aisle between the large wooden benches that faced the hall’s stage. Her back was towards him and, save for that world famous mane of hers, was completely still. The rest of the hall had an old, aged look to it, more so than usual. In fact, he hadn’t noticed it until now.

“Spike, there is no easy way for me to tell you this” said Celestia “But Twilight Sparkle and her friends, I’m sure you know whom, are going to be sent on a journey to the Shadow Lands beyond our borders” the princess did not turn around.

There is a very unpleasant sensation that has been known to happen in times like this. If you’ve ever been told horrible news and knew exactly what it is before it was said aloud, you’ve experienced this phenomenon. Their mannerisms change and they look at you with unfamiliar eyes, and you know they’ve been unfaithful seconds before they say “I’ve been seeing somepony else”

Spike knew what Celestia was going to say, word for word, before “I want you to say your goodbyes” left her lips.

The little dragon said nothing. Instead he clasped his hands in front of his tummy and patiently waited for her to continue. Still technically a baby, tears came quickly for him, but he fought back. Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and the other ones had gone on adventures before, but he knew already that this time would be different. Never before had he been asked to ‘say his goodbyes’, but he trusted Celestia and would obey her orders.

“When I speak with them I will be forced to place them under complicated memory spells. There will be a time in their journey they will reach a place called Azio’s Alter, near New Canterlot. There a friend of mine named Firetrotter will inform me of their arrival and I will unlock their full memory of the events that will happen from their meet up with me to their being teleported out. Then they will know their real quest.” Explained Celestia calmly, normally the princess would have at least thrown a joke in.

Spike remained silent, so the princess continued.

“There is a very real possibility they will want to abandon their quest at this time. That’s why I intend to send them something. I need you to find me an object that will help guide Twilight Sparkle towards what is right: to show her that the light is worth fighting for. It has to be something of great significance to her, something I as her teacher could never hope to produce. Again: they will have no memory of anything from their upcoming meeting to their being teleported out of here by my sister. I plan for them to be gone by the day after tomorrow.” said Princess Celestia, still continuing her rigid stance.

The next silence was longer, assuming he was dismissed, the dragon turned towards the door, unsure of just what was going on.

“Spike, I’ve told the others similar things. You know: the Apples, Scootaloo, Mr. and Mrs. Cake…” she said as Spike reached the door, at long last turning her body “But other than Rainbow Dash Fluttershy doesn’t have any family here in Ponyville. Since Rainbow can’t, I was hoping that you would get something for her too: something to tell her just how brave she can be. Will you do that for me?”

The dragon nodded, and then left her presence. Celestia sighed and turned back towards the podium again. She only had the big one left: The meeting with Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and the other ones. Then, at long, long last, the sun would set on her time fighting the black stallion and his crooked ways.

Author's Note

For the two or three of you that care, my sincerest apologies this one was a little late. I had to be trained on till for a retail store, a process which sucked up a weekend. You’re lucky I didn’t write this in codes because that’s literally all that’s firing about in my giant neuron coil.

Sincerely; ThatOneYellowPony

And as always: a big shout out to Cl0setBr0ny101 for editing this! Thanks for the helping hoof!

4: Yokel Dokie

//-----------------------------
// Story: The Awesome Quest of My Little Ponies
// Chapter: Chapter 4: Yokel Dokie!
// Author: ThatOneYellowPony
//-----------------------------

“You can never be too careful nowadays, that’s why everything I’m selling is hereby on sale! Buy now! Beat the rush!” smiled Sweet Deal, a teal colt with a striped red and brown mane. His cutie mark was a cart full of junk resembling the cart full of junk strapped to him that very moment. His goods were protected by an adorable umbrella adding to the traveling merchant’s novelty charm.

“If you’re a salespony, isn’t everything you’re selling on sale anyways?” asked Twilight Sparkle.

Sky was busy rummaging through the goods in the back, evidently intending on making the party’s purchase for them. Applejack, Twilight, Fluttershy, and herself had just started towards the lakeside town of Griffron, and almost immediately stumbled across Sweet Deal. Now that her escort, Fluttershy, was no longer alone (the orange and purple one had literally hopped in out of nowhere), the tan earth pony was quickly changing her long term plan. Now that they’ve proven they’re not entirely hapless, she was going to part ways with the rest of the party in Griffron, so she could return to caring for Pip and Plop back home. But dang it she wasn’t going to leave them unprepared! Occasionally she would pull out some item or piece of armor and toss it into one of several small piles.

“You know, I’m a sponsor of the local Griff Games!” boasted Sweet Deal “I’ll be around this lake all festival long! Come to me at anytime this week to buy noisemakers and team colors!!”

“I don’t think we really need any of that” said Applejack as politely as she could.

Sweet Deal’s smile didn’t falter for a second. “That’s quite alright. Bit more a griffon thing I suppose. Shame, cause they don’t much like buying from pony kind”

“Kay’, I think we’ve squeezed this lemon for all her juice” said Sky, gesturing towards the piles. “It’s gonna cost 110 bits, but I’m gonna pay so don’t go concerning yourselves”

The three immediately objected.

“Oh you don’t need to do that, we’ll pay” murmured Fluttershy

“We’ve been fine without any weapons so far!” insisted Twilight

“Well too bad” said Sky, sticking out her tongue and fishing out 110 bits to give to Sweet Deal.

“Why thanks for the business! Remember now: There’s No Deal Like a Sweet Deal!” and with that, the merchant pony continued on down the cobblestone path, a spring in each hoofstep.

Begrudgingly, the three ponies accepted what had been bought for them. For Applejack, a leather crupper and a light steel set of horseshoes and chest guards. She tried to place the leather crupper in a very interesting place before Sky explained it was a fancy name for a flank-guard. Twilight received a pointy purple wizard’s hat and a magic crest which lightly boosted her speed somehow. Fluttershy received a small wooden staff and an amulet of sturdiness, which lessened her chances of becoming confused. Now if she were attacked by zubats, she would only be half as annoyed as you or I.

Together the three of them looked like they had the worst sense of dress imaginable, but they thanked Sky regardless, as she promised them that these and the boatload of revival muffins she purchased them would make their lives much, much easier.

When the party finally reached Griffron, it was a sight to behold. Previously the ponies had only ever seen griffons one at a time, but here they were pouring out over top of the walls. There were griffons running concession stands for gross things on sticks, others that crowded around magicians and entertainers hidden by a veil of feathered wings. They even set up a bouncy castle for the kiddies but it didn’t last long (claws, you see). Overtop the crowd Twilight could see vibrant circus tents with flags depicting their going-ons. The one that caught her eye had an illustration of a griffon eating some fish, them being one of those weird omnivorous species. She didn’t point this out because she knew animal loving Fluttershy might have a problem with this.

Between all the hustle and bustle, our heroes could glimpse at the town’s architectural design. Although hardly majestic, the place had a thought-out quality to it, even with its simple stone walls that curved with the hilly streets, and the simple green or blue bands splashing some color about, it felt like it was built with heart. It was small and cozy enough to feel like a home yet sprawling enough to host such an undertaking.

“Now before we get too distracted” said Twilight as the four of them idly wandered closer still to even more distractions, passing under a great stone gateway. “Remember why we’re stopping here; we’re looking for our friends. This is a big event and its certainly drawn in a lot of ponies, err, people. If they’re looking for us, they may well have already come here. I don’t think it’ll take long to search this place. Meet up here in an hour?” Everypony murmured in agreement before sauntering off, each one only half in on the ‘let’s find our friends’ plan. I can tell you right now that only Sky would remember to return back here in an hour, which aggravated her greatly.

Twilight decided that, while she’s not so sure about Rarity or Pinkie, if Rainbow Dash were here, she wouldn’t hesitate to go to the epicenter of the action. That’s why when a helpful griffon at the information desk told her the professional level athletics take place in an actual stadium; she immediately made that her priority. The stadium in question was constructed out of cloud and marble, and was floating in the lake’s middle. Getting there would require an expensive ticket that even then would only be good for the day’s events. If she had her nose plug and water wings on her, she might have tried swimming but as it happens, she didn’t have the funds she needed to catch the four o’clock ferry over there.

“Are you sure it’s an entire 200 bits? Cause I’ve only got like, five.”

“Trust us, you’re short,” explained the griffon behind the ticket desk. She was dressed in a red vest and busy scooping up cotton candy for some bratty kid who annoyed her parents into submission. “Why’d you bother coming here if you don’t have any money? If you don’t come with at least a grand, you’re gonna have a bad time!”

“Ugh” groaned Twilight as she again stared out at the stadium that would surely draw Rainbow Dashes in like a magnet. “Look, I’m not interested in whatever sports they’re going to play, I’m just trying to find a friend. Is there any way I can get a seat on that boat?”

“I’m afraid not”

“Can you get some griffon to fly me over?” she asked with her best attempt at Fluttershy eyes.

“No can do. If anyone but the competitors enters that airspace, security’s going to deal with them accordingly. Why else would we have a boat? Ponies are a real rarity here.”

Twilight sighed. Until a claw tapped her on the flank.

“It’s not much but I hope it helps” said a bearded old griffon. Twilight accepted 10 bits from him graciously, not even caring that he eavesdropped. “It might not get you to the stadium but now you can go play games down on the wharf, which is at least something. Griffons forget about them what with all the excitement but the ring toss and the pinball have always been there to bring smiles to youngster’s faces.”

Although she doubted she would find any of her friends there, she followed the griffon’s advice and found the wharf. As she suspected, the prizes were things like giant stuffed bears, not bits. If they were bits she could at least conceivably work her way up to the ticket price of 200 bits. According to the sign, it was 5 bits for the ring toss, which she immediately decided against entering. For one thing everyone there was at least a quarter of her age, clearly the bearded pony saw her as some little juvenile. Pinkie would have been too old for this. The rings were large, rainbow doughnuts that were to ring around iridescent pegs with clown faces on their ends. But just as Twilight turned away from the wharf she heard a piercing screech.

“Want! Want! Want!” she recognized it as the bratty toddler from before, the one who had already tossed her uneaten cotton candy into the face of a poor custodial worker. The kid was pointing an obese talon at the fat purple bear on the top shelf.

“No dear I will not be getting that for you, it’s not for sale! It has to be won and by the shadows in my stockings I will not degrade myself to playing a child’s game!” said the brat’s father, who upset his daughter an awful lot with his words. But before the child’s excessive whining could change her father’s mind, Twilight leapt in with an idea in mind.

“I’ll get the bear for her!”

“You would offer us services as a games monkey?” asked the father, his moustache being tugged by his toddler.

“If by that you mean I’ll get you the bear for a small price then yeah. I’m looking to get a boat ticket and I’ve only got fifteen bits.” explained Twilight over the wails.

“50 bits for the bear. Now hurry up!”

Ecstatic at the prospect, the purple pony trotted over to the game and, after waiting for her turn, asked the game tender “How much for a ring?”

“So y’all get something like 3,000 griffons each year here?” Applejack asked one of her table partners, a beefy griffon named Geoffrey.

“Yes… three… thousand…” wheezed the griffon as he patted his belly and took in the room with his mousy eyes.

“How long ‘til this Mangerama gets going? I smell some good eating!” she sniffed the air, taking in pleasant blueberry.

Applejack had entered the Mangerama eating contest: one of the only free to enter contests actually taking place in Griffron. Normally they don’t let ponies in on the competition, but with AJ they made an exception. Though she suspected it was more as a joke, for not a single griffon believed the little pony could stomach the monstrous feast that would be coming her way. To juxtapose what they felt would be her crushing defeat they stuck her at the same table as Geoffrey, the intimidating eating machine that has been the champion five years running. He had two chins per year won and forever breathed with heaves of intensity.

She entered the contest because if Rarity, Rainbow, and Pinkie were really here to be found, they would have done so by now. How hard was it to spot brightly colored ponies amidst a sea of white feathers and grumpy beaks? Besides, she seldom had the opportunity to meet real griffons, and why shouldn’t she enjoy herself?

She and her fellow Mangerama competitors sat in the center of a large circus tent that flapped around a fair bit, barely managing to keep the wind at bay. The stands were filling up with griffons and, surprise-surprise, not a single pony. Then the event staff brought in the first few platters of food. In a showing of consideration usually beyond griffon kind, all meat items had been removed for the vegetarian Applejack.

“Griffons and pony” bellowed the announcer with great bravado, a griffon with a top hat, sunglasses, and a microphone. He earned himself a few laughs with his joke and a polite clapping of talons from the audience and competitors. Except for Applejack. She doesn’t have talons to clap with, and thank Celestia for that.

“But before we dive right into the feast our volunteer chefs have produced, a quick preview is in order!” continued the announcer “Following tradition, we will start with dessert, including pies, tarts, and dumplings!” some female griffons holding samples of the desserts held them up, flouncing and flirting with their bodies. I suppose they were considered good looking or something. “Then, we got aaaaaall this!” suddenly a small army of pretty girl griffons burst in with platters and platters of the widest variety of food imaginable. Spaghetti, fancy breads, squash, chocolates, sandwiches, and sweet, sweet cider.

The beautifully presented food certainly stirred energy in the contestants and audience. The announcer had to yell quite a few times before anyone could hear him officially start the 32nd annual Mangerama.

Applejack was presented with a small blueberry pie as her level 1 snack. She would have to eat the full thing before she could advance to the next level. An adorable smile cut across her lips as she firmly splattered it across her face and got her om-nom-nom on.

In triumph she slammed her hoof on a small bell, which ‘dinged’ to signal her completion.

“Hit me with another!” she said in victory quip, before one of the lady griffons presented her with a plate of gingersnap cookies.

The cursor moved to Applejack. Preemptive strike. She decided to open with Om, which would open a window for several consecutive Nom attacks, which were most effective as a chain combo anyways. Soon the gingersnaps were gingersnapped.

Few paid attention to the orange pony as she continued to fell the dishes presented to her. Most focused on fan favorites or were too busy cheering with a disturbing strength of passion to notice she was about five plates ahead of everyone else.

Before long our pony had slain dessert, and she broke into the pastas. She decided to equip a fork-the natural weakness of pastas-and focus on piercing attacks. And yes, the pony was quite capable of using a fork thanks to that strange enigma that lets earth ponies manipulate things as though they had human hands. Apparently they’re just so opposed to the concept of evolving fingers they can bend the universe to their will, much to Lyra’s dismay.

By the time our underdog competitor reached the English muffins with jam her fellow mouth-stuffing machines were thinning out. Some, clearly amateurs, were dropping out before they were done with desserts. Ha! Let’s see how fun their ‘winning isn’t everything’ attitude is now that they’ve LOST!

AJ was busy getting critical munches on an oven baked pretzel when the first big name beak-buster collapsed after only getting halfway through his lasagna. Most of the crowd’s outrage (or wet-your-seat exuberance) came from how a small female pony had managed to pass him by metaphorical miles. Big Mac would be proud of his little soldier.

While the other food-eating titans began to slow their pace, getting into the meat of the competition, Applejack’s snack sojourn slowed not. About the only thing that happened were dribbles of sweat on her brow and her stomach descending until it resembled a pumpkin resting in her lap. It started to gurgle angrily, upset with its mistreatment.

At first there were ten contestants, and then there were seven, and finally there were three. At least until the second remaining griffon fell beak first into boiling hot tomato soup. That fact that he didn’t scream in fiery pain led the event staff to conclude that he was suffering a food coma. It took six griffons to carry him by stretcher to the nearest medical tent.

The final two competitors were lucky enough to be seated together. Even luckier for the audience, the two of them were less than three dishes apart. Although neither of them looked their best, they also looked like they’d last long enough to make things interesting. The cooks were sweating in their chef hats, knowing that they were almost out of food to serve. The final two competitors, eyeing each other with the intensity of battle and the pain of digestive cramps, were Ponyville’s very own Applejack, and the Mangerama monstrosity; Geoffrey.

Applejack was one dish ahead, cautiously tunneling through her plate of mashed potatoes: a level 40 dish with no known elemental weaknesses. Geoffrey was doing the same with a sub sandwich. In the background the announcer yammered on about the players’ every move, but neither Geoffry nor AJ heard anything. They were too busy searching each other for weakness, each tensing their muscles, ready to lunge at any moment.

Then Applejack flinched after her special potato spoon scraped squeakily across her plate. She lightly dinged her bell with smug satisfaction as the final dish was brought out. She was presented with a platter containing more doughnuts than could possibly fit inside her and Geoffrey together, all doused in syrup for extra measure. She was instructed not to start until Geoffrey had caught up. Realizing the whole hall was waiting on him, the griffon practically inhaled his way to the doughnuts.

The rules were simple: they would take turns eating a single doughnut until one popped like a balloon and the other emerged the victor. The crowd was stamping their feet impatiently. Some were shouting for the griffon to pound AJ into the dirt whereas the other half had jumped the boat to Team Applejack.

Applejack did the honors and slid one of the most disgusting treats she’d ever tasted down her throat. She could handle the butter-flavored syrup but the super-sugar frosting, rainbow sprinkles, and liquidly glaze made for the most unpleasant sensation imaginable. The griffon followed her example, and seemed to think the same thing of the sugary sweet. It didn’t take long before they were both on the knife’s edge, teetering on sudden death. The food had gone from gross to nauseating and every bite pained them physically. Then, out of nowhere, beak just pecking into the slimy good, Geoffrey keeled over sideways and passed out.

Caught by surprise the crowd exploded with cheer. Never before had a pony, let alone a little mare like her, won the Mangerama before. The earth pony was lifted by twenty sets of talons and given the cheering of her life.

“I did it for you Granny Smith!” she yelled to nobody “I did it for all ah y’all”

There’s one advantage nopony brings up about growing up without many friends. You get a knack for trivial skills like tossing disks, or constructing paperclip guns that shoot elastic bands. Skills that may one day come to your advantage. For example, if you are one day on an adventure that involves mini-games with clunky controls, developing proficient hoof-eye coordination will put you far ahead of your popular peers.

Such was the case for Twilight Sparkle, who was having a blast in mini-game central down on the wharf. She had mastered the ring toss after two throws, survived so long on pinball that she was asked to lose on purpose so other guests could play, and pulverized the card matching game by using non magical memory enhancing techniques. She had won so many stuffed animals and crystal hearts that she had surpassed her goal of 200 bits and accumulated a staggering 450 bits. The parents of the bratty kid were most grateful; whereas the bratty kid was just as bratty as ever before.

Twilight smiled to herself. Everything was working out. She could even hear birds singing. With a hop and skip in her step, she trotted back to the ferry to catch the four o’clock. If she saw one of her fellow party members on the way, she could pay for two whole tickets. But as she rounded the street corner and came upon the ticket booth she saw Applejack, Fluttershy, and a host of head-banging griffons.

“Hey Twilight!” shouted a very plump Applejack over the roar of her entourage “I won myself an eatin’ contest! I got us free boat tickets and I getta be the Grand Marshal in the opening parade! Come on now! Ferry’s leaving soon.”

There are no words to describe your pain, young Twilight.

“Test one, Test one, Test one,” Said the announcer into her microphone.

“I really wish she could count to two” mused Twilight.

“Test one, Test one, Test one” said the announcer again.

She was hovering above the water in the center of the stadium. The building itself featured rows of marble bleachers that curved around like a baseball dome constructed of cloud and white rocks. The difference was instead of a green field in the center, there was only the surface of the lake. Applejack, along with her two special guests Twilight and Fluttershy, led the opening parade where the floats did just that: float on the water. After a few circles about, an internal magic raised their golden chariot of awesome into the air. It then clicked into place along the stadium wall and served as the ponies’ seating. A storm was brewing on the surrounding waters, but they were assured that the stadium would keep the waves at bay. Though the lack of a roof meant the conditions would be wet and miserable the instant any rain started and they were an awful long ways from shore. But the Griff Games had to continue! It was traditional! They wouldn’t stop it if the clouds were on fire.

“LLLLLadies and gentle griffons! Get ready for the first event! Revealing to you now the dreaded Beak-Cracker Obstacle Course!!” bellowed the announcer unexpectedly, once Test one had finally ended.

The parts of the BCOC or ‘bock-bock-ba-cock!’ as the fans called it rose out from the churning waters with a great rumbling. There were jets of fire, great swinging pendulums built of spongy foam, rubber birds that flew about the air with little speed, great black tubes that swirled and looped with cruel unpredictability, nets, enchanted cubes with ‘Butter Blasters’ written on the sides, and spotlights that seemed to be searching for something. Finally they found that something: a griffon dressed in red and sporting a number one on his chest. He flared his wings and roared at the light. The crowd loved it, barking like mad. No sooner did the animal roar before the stadium seemed to roar back: the jets of fire spewed out a loud inferno that warmed the faces of the party even from so far away.

Rock and roll was being blasted through the speakers several decibels too high.

“Let’s get ready to rumble! Guinea Pig Number One: Mixed Lightning!” bellowed the announcer over the noise of it all.

Several people laughed at the guinea pig joke, but far more were busy yelling their heads off. The excitement was elevating Twilight’s heart rate. Fluttershy was practically knocked back by the suddenness of it all, and Applejack’s stomach didn’t appreciate the vibrations.

Unfortunately the stadium had clearly been designed for winged creatures, as there were no stairs or ramps connecting different seating areas. The idea of finding a single cyan pegasus amidst the crowds with all these pyrotechnics in the way was laughable. Undeterred, Twilight and her friends kept an eye out, a difficult task with the distracting entertainment before them.

Mixed Lightning, clearly a stage name, swerved and ducked through the complex challenges of the BCOC with aerial finesse, while the announcer prattled on about the griffon’s back story. Because it’s one thing to watch a griffon narrowly escape a padded hammer, but an entirely different thing to know about how that griffon grew up on a farm.

The rubber birds that dotted the airspace came to life on approach and honed in on Mixed Lightning in an attempt to knock him out of the sky. The birds were notoriously brutal, but demanding fans led them to becoming a staple after their introduction decades earlier, from back in a primitive time when you weren’t having fun until you had broken some bones.

Mixed Lightning soared through the final hoop with an impressive time of six minutes twenty two seconds. Mixed Lightning himself, while proudly thanking his friends and family when briefly given the microphone, seemed well aware that this time would never do. He would be beaten and probably by the next competitor.

The brutality of the BCOC was quickly forgotten as flyer after flyer braved it. Some flyers seemed to be in it for the joy of wiping out, as they clearly didn’t expect to cross the finish. Sure there were pulled feathers and twisted ankles, but everyone-injured included-laughed it off. The jets of fire, which seemed unnecessarily deadly at first, were really more for show. They were being directly controlled by magic, though griffon magic has been stereotyped as crude and unreliable, and only fired when it was absolutely certain nobody would get scorched.

“This next flyer requires some explanation” said the announcer as Feather Foot was walked off to be fitted for an eye patch. She gave the crowd a moment to calm down before continuing. It was easy to tell how bad the storm had gotten when things quieted down a little. A heavy rain accompanied with lightning had started two flyers ago, but somehow it had gone ignored. “Since the very beginning we have let anybody brave enough to compete in the Beak-Cracker Obstacle Course. When an unusual…’person’ decided to join us, we had to consult the rule book for the first time since I got my job presenting this very event! As it turns out, we don’t discriminate on race or species so long as they’ve got wings! So please welcome our first non-griffon competitor since ever! She claims to have won a completely unheard of competition called ‘The Best Young Flyers Competition’ in her also unheard of home of ‘Cloudsdale’. So let’s cheer on the slightly loopy, peculiarly maned, Rainbow Dash!!”

Grand Parade Marshall Applejack spewed out her pineapple refreshment.

“I found her” whispered Fluttershy to Twilight, who was equally as astonished.

Sure enough, there was a flash of lightning accompanied by the sudden appearance of a sky blue pegasus descending from the heavens. Her rainbow mane was being whipped by the winds, doing little to conceal her smug I’m-gonna-rock-this-joint expression. Her rose colored eyes were fixed on the starting ring. The instant she passed through it, the timer would start and the music would burst into intense electric guitar. She continued to flutter towards it, lulling the crowd, which was exactly what she wanted.

Unlike the rest of the mane 6, Rainbow Dash had zero memory of how she got there. That’s not to say she’d forgotten Equestria and her pony friends, but it seemed that she went from zipping around Ponyville’s sky to being yelled at by security for trespassing in stadium airspace. She had been asked by two burly griffons what she was doing and she honestly couldn’t answer them. This response landed her in a temporary detainment cell before a gruff griffon named Manny had heard her out. Manny was Head Coordinator of both the Griff Games and security. After explaining the games as an intense week of events for aerial enthusiasts, Dashie practically demanded to enter and the very kind Manny decided to give her a fair shot.

Just as the crowd became convinced that this would be the worst run-through of the BCOC ever, Rainbow Dash burst foreword, leaving a perfect spectrum of color in her wake. She drove through the starting ring, droplets of rain appearing to fall the wrong way. She pulled up sharply and banked to the very first labyrinth of tubes. Already familiar with their layout she was out before she was in.

The crowd roared in sudden appreciation of the spectacle. The blurred blue bullet cut past the crowd, shooting past obstacles with ease, though hardly dodging them by the tip of her tail. The jets of fire were spewing light and heat into the dark cold, trying to match the energy of the stadium.

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack where overwhelmed by the volume of it all which seemed to shake the universe all about with vibrations and flashing lights. Two of them were yelling several things though nopony heard them, and certainly no griffon.

Dash had only one obstacle before the great finish: The Tumbler of Fire: a hexagonal barrel that rotated with several spinning blades (which were actually padded planks because they’re not sadists here in Griffron) and other claustrophobic challenges. The constant rotation and strobe lights made for a very disorientating experience. But Dash jetted inside without a second thought.

The crowd and music cut out as she entered and only the sound of rushing wind remained. She weaved through pendulums, hammers, foam cannons, and pillars with moderate difficulty. Suddenly her world banked to the right, leading her to slam into one of the walls. Something had stopped the tumbling. Black shapes burst into the barrel, destroying vital BCOC equipment. Dash rolled to the bottom before realizing the shapes were tentacles. The change in gravity told her whatever the black extremities belonged to were lifting the tumbler with her inside. She heard a mighty roar and bolted towards the entrance, which was closer than the exit, dodging the groping tentacles all the while. When she emerged, she was caught in a sea of flying griffons, all fleeing the shadow monster that had emerged from the sea. The rock and roll was still playing and whatever sorcerer had been in charge of the fire jets left them irresponsibly turned on in the panic of it all.

With the surrounding stadium alight with fire, a hot composition which doesn’t agree with pony hide too well, Twilight knew she had to act fast. Without an easy way out of the stadium-or even off their platform- she quickly solved the problem in her own way. She pointed her horn at the water below and froze part of it into a buoyant bowl large enough for them to stand on comfortably.

“Jump down!” Twilight shouted to her companions.

The three of them made it to icy safety before the surprisingly flammable clouds shriveled to ash. Magical fire can be a jerk like that. Their small victory was short lived as the monstrous squid latched onto their vessel and pulled itself onto the rim. It roared at the three ponies as it proudly showed off the torn parts of the BCOC it could now use as makeshift weaponry. Magic fire jets included.

“He’s a level 5. He’s a boss fight. Called ‘Leviathan’” said Twilight. As though a light switch had gone off, she could now scan enemies for basic snippets of knowledge.

Rainbow Dash, who was idly flying above the Leviathan, was speechless. She had never seen or even heard of the shadow monsters which recently had been attacking these lands with alarming regularity. But she did see who the beast was attacking: her friends. That alone helped remove her from a terrified trance.

With a screech Dash landed with four hooves and flared wings. The ice was not as slippery as she thought, though the stormy weather was worse now than ever.

“Dash! Are Pinkie and Rarity with you?!” yelled AJ over the wind.
She shook her head. Then Fluttershy tried to say something, but could never be heard over the rock and roll, biting winds, booming thunder, and the roars of the Leviathan.

Only three ponies could be on the battlefield at any given moment, so Twilight was automatically switched out when the encounter started a second later. Twilight would now have to switch in during somepony else’s turn, but only if they consented. Then that pony would be warming the bench while Twilight stood in their old square meter. The rules were a benched pony couldn’t switch with a knocked out pony, couldn’t be damaged or healed in any way, and would fade with the party if the three on-field ponies decided to take an impromptu dirt-nap. These rules came as instinctual, and nopony questioned them.

Confused with why she was confined to a square meter of ice platform, Rainbow Dash looked down to see a dark blue cursor blinking from beneath her light blue hooves.

Author's Note

Well now that the holidays and inevitable end of the year flu have passed, it was fun to get back to writing! I finally got into the habit of writing ‘nopony’ and ‘anypony’ just in time to bring in a boatload of griffons and have to revert to ‘nobody’ and ‘anyone’. No doubt I’ll be loused up when we return to pony occupied land. Yippee!

Sincerely; ThatOneYellowPony

And thank you to ClosetBron-oh, wait, never mind. I’m sorry: special thanks to Gage McGage, your friendly username changing editor. Not that there’s anything wrong with change. I’m flexible :D Seriously though: awesome editor!