My Little Pony: Boundless Envy

by Gweat and Powaful Twixie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Dark, Tragedy
Length: 9024

The story of Luna after returning to Canterlot and her trouble with the reigning Princesses.

Jealousy runs deep and darkness even deeper.

Luna has returned to Canterlot. Estranged by the new way of life she must accustom herself to, she struggles to make sense of it all. She doesn't understand what anypony says, she has few friends, the darkness of Nightmare Moon still haunts her dream and above all else, Cadance is replacing her.

With painstaking attention to canon, discover the story of Celestia, Luna and Cadance after Luna's return and learn that nothing hurts more than being forgotten again.

Directly follows the events of My Little Pony: Reconnect. Base story can be enjoyed without reading Reconnect, but may miss some of the finer details.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-22 09:52:14 UTC

Chapter 1

1

Luna had returned.

She could hardly contain herself as she hugged her big sister for the first time in an eon. She squeezed her tightly, savouring every bit of her, her feel, her smell and her warmth. She had endured centuries of torment, embarked on a life-threatening quest, slain a princess, lost her best friend and and came face to face with her inner demons just to be at this very spot at this very time. Now she was there with her and it was all worth it. Tears clung to her eyes as she relived it all in her mind. Every emotion coursed through her, pulsing a new emotion each time a new memory arose.

Celestia let gentle tears fall as the princess of the moon embraced her. For as long as she could remember she had lived with a wretched guilt, a guilt that tore at the very fiber of her soul. The guilt that lived by her movement to send her her sister to the most desolate, lonely and miserable place and watched her from afar, powerless to help her.

In this moment that guilt was gone though and all she knew was that she dearly loved her sister.

It shortly returned as she let go of Luna and looked down into her deep and innocent eyes. She knew that nothing would make it right, now or ever. How could somepony ever repay Luna for what Celestia did to her?  She couldn't ask Luna for forgiveness and any attempt to would be a meaningless gesture, incapable of lifting the infinite guilt she carried. Still she deserved something grand.

Yet in Luna's eyes, all Celestia saw was the desire to be with her. They sparkled like a child seeing their grandpony or receiving the treasured toy they wished for. As tears welled up in Luna's eyes from sheer bliss, Celestia could not help but tear up too. Luna's innocence and pure love was the most beautiful legend. Nothing else mattered to Luna but Celestia. Her guilt compounded in ways unfathomable.

'Why me?' she thought, 'I am unworthy. Please don't stare at me like that. You don't deserve me. You deserve so much more Luna...'

Another pony started crying from the emotional impasse taking place in front of her. Celestia knew that she needed to profess her guilt to Luna, but not right now. Not so insincerely in front of other ponies. She needed to be alone with Luna so she could say everything without fear. Celestia couldn't contain herself, the guilt was crushing her and she was on the verge of breaking down. Short erratic sobs were beginning to surface. Luna's eyes turned sad for a moment, pushing Celestia over the edge.

'Come on, keep it together...'

The pink pony who smelled of cotton candy that had been crying a moment earlier saved Celestia from a complete breakdown with a bizarre suggestion.

"Hey, you know what this calls for?! A party!"

Just having the another pony speak and suggest something was enough for Celestia to regain her senses entirely. She was a princess and she needed to act like it. She steeled herself and proceeded to throw Luna the best party she could. She at least deserved a welcome home party.

The festivities for the Summer Sun Celebration would still be in Ponyville, so it only made sense to have it there. Anyways the pony named Pinkie Pie seemed exceptional at planning fun parties so all the more reason.

Luna entered the town timidly, unsure of her reception. Celestia could see hesitance in her eyes as well, she must have been ashamed releasing Nightmare Moon unto the world. Of all the ponies in Equestria, Luna was the last one who should be feeling guilt. She looked down with a glum look on her face, avoiding eye contact with the other ponies, almost wishing to be invisible. She didn't know any of these ponies and was confused by their strange town and the dialects with which they spoke. A few little pegasi lifted a flower reef over her head so it sat on her like a necklace. It made her feel a bit better and even though it wasn't officially Luna's party, it served the same purpose all the same.

Luna returned to Canterlot Castle later that night. I had been an exhausting day for her and she was just glad to go back home with her big sister.

They had purposely avoided talking about the imprisonment, Nightmare Moon or any of the other touchy topics during their time in Ponyville and instead put on royal and graceful faces for their subjects. Almost as if she never left, she talked with Celestia and shared memories with her seamlessly. It helped to erode the tension between them but as they avoided more and more topics that came up, it pinpointed one specific fact.

They had a lot to talk about and when they did sit down to go over them, tears would be shed and they'd pour their hearts out to each other.

But for now, Celestia opted to tour Luna around the castle. Even though much had changed in the last 1000 years, some parts of the castle were still reasonably similar and Luna found comfort in the familiarity.

"Oh I am quite anxious to see! Tempt me no more my sister.I must know!, the library it still housest the great window before the moon?" Luna asked excitedly as they strolled through the castle.

"I sure hope it does. Did it look like this?" Celestia said, opening the doors and motioning to a great window. Through it the full moon shone almost perfectly center. Celestia wanted to see the moon reflect in her eyes and awkwardly peered around her until she got just the right angle.

It was just like Luna had remembered.

"Most wonderful! I thank thee sister! Tis just like that of the other world." Luna had only revealed so much of her experience, leaving Celestia guessing as to what the cryptic hints meant.

"The other world?" Celestia asked.

"Aye I shall explain it later when we have more time! Tis a wondrous tale of adventure and peril."

"I would certainly like to hear of your adventure during your time away,"

Celestia was still extremely uncomfortable talking with Luna about the sealing. Even though the elephant in the room had settled down an started a small family, they both did their best to ignore it. There would be a time and place for them to unwind and catch up. Still, Celestia could not help but remember the haunting sight of her sister trying to commit suicide for months on end when Luna spoke of her "time away".

"My most dearest sister, I know it may be a childish request, but it would do me great comfort if thou would allowest me to bed in thy's chambers tonight," Luna asked nervously. She blushed a startling shade of red.

Celestia was surprised by Luna's request, but saw no need to object to it. It was actually extremely fortunate for her, as she had not introduced Luna to Cadance yet, and for the time being, Cadance slept in Luna's old room. Celestia foresaw a conflict that Luna didn't need to deal with right now.

"Of course you may. It would be just like when we were fillies. Do you remember that time oh so long ago?"

"Aye! I do! I have wondered, dost thou remember when we escaped to the castle grounds and found the butterfly?"

"Of course, you were so frightened of it. T'was but a harmless butterfly..." Celestia trailed off as she recalled the memory. It was a special memory to both of them, one that bound them together across distances and dimension. If they could just go back to then, before they grew up and fell before the terrible deeds that stained both of them today.

Luna went to embrace her sister for a second time since she returned. This time it was much longer as neither of them feared the judging eyes of their subjects. They rubbed each other's backs and stroked each other's hair. Silent tears fell and glistened in the in the faint light radiating from the stars in Luna's mane. A candid moment of love between the sisters.

They retired to Celestia's chambers and both crawled into bed together. Celestia cuddled around Luna, keeping her close and warm. It was no different from when they were fillies and Luna had a bad dream. She always went to Celestia from comfort. Even though Luna was happy, her expression masked a worry that only Celestia could pinpoint.

"Luna... Tomorrow we are going to talk. We avoided it all day today, but there are things that I must tell that simply cannot wait. I love you so much little sister..." Celestia whispered emotionally into her ear. Celestia began to break down.

Luna could not help but reflect her sister's tone. She didn't want both of them to break down right now, but seeing her sister cry was one of the most heartbreaking sights. She had never seen Celestia cry so genuinely. Her sister was usually so strong-willed and invincible. Even now she was trying her hardest to hold it in, only letting quiet sniffles slip out, she could tell her sister was fighting a losing battle.

The sniffles steadily became longer, but Celestia refused to give in. She tried to take longer breaths to steady herself, but after the first one she cracked. Luna heard the smallest, most insignificant, most emotional little whine ever to escape her sister. After hearing it, Celestia  gritted her teeth and shut her eyes tight. She  tried with all her will to hold in her voice and only let silent air speak her mind, but as she exhaled a slightly louder whine escaped. It was followed by a cascade of loud sobs coupled with a river of tears. Nothing had been too much for Celestia to handle and only a few time was she even fazed by the happenings of the world. Yet here she was crying like a little filly.

"Nay I beg of thee. Dry thy eyes, can we not..." Luna began crying too, only barely able to choke out her words. As she cried harder she realized that nothing felt better than crying with Celestia alone in her hooves. She needed to cry and so did Celestia.

"Can... we... not.... what?" Celestia coughed out in a raspy voice. She had been constricting her vocal chords to prevent the sound that ultimately led to her downfall.

"T'was nothing... Weep with me sister..."

So they did, and began the release of a thousand years of loneliness, helplessness, desperation and hope. Only their sobs pierced the silence for some time. They didn't know the exact reason for why they cried, nor did they know for how long they cried, but they soaked their pillows through with tears.

An indescribable combination of emotions flew through them, together. They hearts were so in tune that they would merely look in the other's eyes and smile and memory would come flooding back to them. An unspoken and beautiful harmony led them down one memory to another and they shared in the emotion of them, sometimes one sympathetically for the other and sometimes joined. Celestia could share in the misery of Luna's imprisonment and cried for her. Luna could share bittersweetness that Celestia felt when she would sing her lullabies that she used to sing for Luna as a filly alone, to a full moon. But what caused them to cry the longest was the pure bliss they shared to have Luna finally return home. For almost two hours, they cried, laughed and cuddled as their eyes grew puffy and their manes became tangled.This moment was 1000 years coming and nothing would stop them from having it. So they cried until the mercy of sleep took them.

It was only the beginning as tomorrow, the real pain would be released.

Chapter 2

2.

They both awoke early, naturally. Everyday the moon needed lowering and the sun needed raising. Celestia rolled over to see her moon princess shaking and whimpering quietly in her sleep. She looked pathetic and helpless in her feeble position, like a small filly. She was having a nightmare. Celestia nudged her, concerned.

"Luna, sweetie wake up."

Luna awoke quickly, panting a little and eyes wide open, terror inside her heart. She looked up at Celestia and hugged her immediately.

"Oh Tia, t'was a horrific dream. I saw Nightmare Moon and she spoke to me."

Celestia wasn't even sure Luna knew who Nightmare Moon was until now. She had always assumed that Luna was merely possessed and unconscious during the time and after Nightmare Moon left her, couldn't remember a thing. She based that assumption on nothing but random guessing.

"Oh dear, what did she say?"

"She spoketh kindly to me, ensuring that I should welcome her instead of cower in her... Something about it terrified me."

"She is definitely worth fearing, but do not worry, she is no more."

"I do not know Tia. She felt real and that which puzzles me was that I feared not her but something unknown."

"It will be alright Luna, nothing can hurt you anymore," Celestia said, hugging Luna tightly, "Come now, we have a moon to lower and a sun to raise."

Excited, Luna jumped from bed and ran up into the great observatory, directly up a flight of stairs from Celestia's chambers. It was a massive room with a glass dome for a roof and comfy furniture with another flight of stairs leading down into Luna's room. There were various magical instruments for measuring the stars and constellations. Great floating telescopes for seeing far and magical lenses for perceiving far when sight wasn't enough. It stood at the tallest point in Canterlot. From it, one could see great distance into the heart of Equestria.

Luna stood facing the great west and Celestia stood facing the great east.The skies befell twilight and the crimson purples were painted. Sometimes Luna had wondered why they didn't just leave it eternally dusk.

They gave each other affectionate looks and as though they were never apart, they began to change the day. Luna used her great magic to lower the moon beneath the distant mountains. The stars began to fade and the darkness of night disappeared. Without missing a beat, Celestia began her spell to raise the sun to the sky. In a perfect rhythm, both celestial objects rotated away from each other. For a second both the moon and the sun shared the sky and Luna smiled warmly at her sister. It was the first time in a 1000 years that they did that together. She admired Celestia as she finished her spell. She did look inspiring and heroic as  she commanded such legendary magic. Luna slowly walked over to her and nuzzled her neck. However, a forgotten intrusion would break the moment.

"I'm so sorry Tia, I had thought I'd set my alarm but..." Cadance said walking up the stairs before stopping dead in her tracks halfway up them. She stared from Luna to Celestia and back again.

It was an odd sight. The two sisters manes were messy and their eyes were puffy and exhausted. That spoke volumes of what occurred during the darker hours of the night. More importantly, Cadance had no idea that Luna had returned. Celestia had kept it a secret from the entire castle staff. Only the ponies of Ponyville knew of Luna and word does not travel so fast. She was waiting to officially reintroduce Luna after she had adjusted.

Since Luna was gone Celestia had asked Cadance to join her in a ceremonial raising of the sun and lowering of the moon whenever convenient as part of royal duty. Whenever Cadance was in the same town as Celestia, she would get up early to take part in a small ceremony with her. Celestia liked it because she wanted to preserve the traditional dual-purpose monarchy of Canterlot. Even though Cadance had no real power over the heavens, it was a pleasant duty she willingly obliged to. She liked the sense of tradition.

Unfortunately, Celestia had gotten so caught up with her sister that she woke up slightly early and eagerly did it with Luna, leaving Cadance to walk in on a very strange scenario. Even though both sisters were embarrassed, Celestia spoke first.

"Good morning Cadance, don't worry about the ceremony, already have it covered. I'm sorry I forgot to mention, my sister Luna has returned!" Celestia said with a big dumb grin on her face.

Nothing was going to spare the incoming awkward exchange. Luna sunk down a little and blushed to the envy of roses.

"Oh uhh... That's great! Hi Luna, I'm Cadance," replied Cadance with the strangest smile on her face,

"Pleased to meet you." Cadance was still only halfway up the stairs so she was looking up at them from about their knee level. Luna felt like she was talking to a dismembered head.

"Well I'll uhh... see you guys at breakfast," Cadance replied, exiting hastily.

Luna looked to Celestia, clearly offended. "Guys? What is it she referred to us as?" She thought Cadance had insulted her. "Additionally, she hath stolen my room."

"Don't worry about it," Celestia said cheerfully, trying to disengage from the awkwardness.

"Don't....?" Luna said even more puzzled. She didn't know any of these new words.

It was going to be a long day.

While they were busy getting ready, brushing out their mane and adorning their royal armor and accessories, Celestia explained to Luna the various changes in language since she had been gone. Luna couldn't help but feel alienated and foreign in her own home.

"Let me ensure that I hath understood thou. A guy is a gentlepony, but can refer to a pony of either persuasio nand it is also informal?"

"You got it," Celestia affirmed.It was sort of fun talking to Luna about the ways of the future. It reminded her of a story about time travelers.

Luna put on her trademark moon necklace and adjusted it into place. "If thou sayest so. A unsettling use for just a respectable name. Tell me dear sister, why was is that Cadance came from my former room?"

Celestia knew this question was coming and she also knew that if she didn't answer it right, Luna would be extremely offended.

"It's a long story."

"Before thou starts. Is she a princess? I know the mark of majesty Celestia and Cadance had it." Luna had caught on quicker than Celestia had hoped, it was best to just give her the truth. Even without seeing Cadance's wings, Luna had sensed it.

"Yes she is. I didn't want you to find out like that, but I can't fully explain why she came to have that mark. Long story short, she was touched by the Elements of Harmony and the magic that lives between you and me."

Luna thought about that for a second. "Tis a shame I am going to have to evacuate her from my room. It is my room if thou recalls. I am sure she will find another suite in the castle to suit her."

Crisis seemingly averted?

"Of course my sister. I'm sure Cadance will understand. Shall we make our way down to breakfast?"

Luna looked down at her hooves, running them through the carpet. She was still so vulnerable and unsure. Celestia knew in that moment that they some things needed to be said before they could return to the life they once knew.

"Actually on second thought, let's eat in my personal observatory, it will be quieter there."

Luna smiled weakly at her sister. She was still just happy to be with her.

As Celestia led the way to the observatory, she blew a letter with their breakfast orders on it to the kitchen. Luna had specifically asked for waffles. A lot of gourmet waffles. With extra syrup.

Luna loves waffles. (Yeah I went there.)

When Celestia she saw the door leading to the observatory, centuries of memories came flooding back and the old guilt began to manifest deep inside her heart. Celestia opened the door for Luna.

The observatory was a circular room littered with small pieces of furniture and magical measurement artifacts. The walls were lined with bookshelves and a wealth of forsaken knowledge. A large glass dome sat on top of them with what looked like to be several large magnifying glasses hanging down from it. The lenses were on a circular apparatus with several layers that spun around so that a pony could look through one or many at the same time.

Celestia looked up at the specific lenses that used to let her see Luna in her moon prison. It gleamed in as the sunlight shone through it. Back when Luna was sealed into the moon, she could see Luna and everything she did by looking through that very special lens. She was so timid and delicate right now, yet only a few short years ago she watched the same pony try to kill herself for months on end, crying the entire time. She couldn't believe she condemned this innocent little pony to that sort of treatment.

It was going to be a very long day.

"My my Celestia, thou hath quite the collection," Luna observed, picking up some books and flipping through them. "I even know of these, they must be vintage now."

"Yes... They are..." Celestia said trying to hold back the outburst she knew that was coming.

They were both avoiding the elephant in the room, trying to make light conversation while they gathered their thoughts and feelings. It wasn't easy to start a conversation 1000 years in the making, Celestia had always thought about what she'd say given the chance and now that she was given it, she couldn't bring herself to start it. Luna was just looking around her observatory curiously, reading books and looking at her magic pieces. They could have just been two sisters having a private breakfast together, just enjoying the company and for a moment, Celestia considered the absurd notion to just ignore it all and pretend it never happened, but Luna had picked up a specific book from Celestia's desk.

"Old Mare's Tales? Pray tell, for what reason do you have this for tis a filly's book?" Luna asked. Her eyes grew wide as she realized what it was. "Oh my stars... Tia..." Luna became weak in the knees as she stared at the unassuming brown cover. Even though the picture had worn off, it was of a mother pushing her daughter on a swing set. She knew it was because it was the same book she held hundreds of years ago.

Celestia knew that Luna was alone, deaf and blind while she was sealed in the moon. And while she watched Luna's sadness build, Celestia decided to read her stories just like how she did when they were both fillies. Celestia hoped that maybe her words would find a way to reach Luna and she would know that she wasn't alone.

Celestia winced at Luna's trembling form. Behind her innocence was a pain that forced the words from her mouth. Luna began to cry a little. This was it.

"Luna... I need to tell you something. I need to tell you... I'm sorry. I'm so... so... sorry..."

Luna stood there and stared deeply into Celestia, her gaze fixated on her mouth. She absorbed every word Celestia spoke and with every word, the walls holding back the pain weakened a little more.

"I need to tell you that I was wrong and that you deserved nothing that happened to you..." Celestia couldn't look into her eyes any longer. She looked to the side and continued. "It should have been me who was sent away. All you wanted was the love of our subjects and I ignored you. You made such beautiful nights and they all slept through them." Celestia was ranting a bit now, tears welling up in her eyes. "I didn't mean to send you to that horrid place and i should have foreseen what would have happened and I could never ask for your forgiveness..."

Luna held up her hoof and Celestia stopped talking. In contrast to Celestia's single feeling of guilt, Luna's feelings were much more complex and varied. She both loved and hated her sister. It was by her sister's hoof that she was sent to that prison and because of her desire to be with that she escaped.

Even though tears began to fall down her face, she spoke clearly, without a break in tone. Celestia listened.

"T'was a horrible place... I still have nightmares of pure whiteness and of that wretched noise. I awake scared for my life that I returned there. I fear that I will ever overcome this? A hundred-thousand dawns leave me graceless. Instead I cower in fear, a pathetic whelp of a pony." Celestia was amazed by the grace of her sister. She was nothing like the blubbering mess Celestia was. "I only wanted the love of our people and thou turnest on me..." Luna said bitterly.

"I'm so sorry Luna..." Celestia was crying now too.

"Sorry? SORRY?! Dost thou know thy meaning of thy word?!" Luna screamed. Celestia was still and silent, tears not withholding.

"Y-yes..." Celestia started, but Luna cut her off.

"Repentance is what somepony does when they know of the consolation! Tell me Tia, dost thou knowest of such a reprisal?"

"Well it was my only choice..." Celestia excuse for a retort was again cut off by the furious moon princess.

"Choice?! What happens when thy actions end up ruining somepony's life? How dost thou pay for what thou hast done?!" Luna shouted at her angrily.

Streams of suffering coursed down Luna's face, twisted by anger. Celestia put her head down and let her tears run up her eyes instead of down them. She knew that Luna was right, there was nothing she could do to make up for it. She weathered Luna's shouts like lashings across her heart, every word flaying her alive.

"How would thou likest it if thou were trapped inside eternal torment?" Luna cried out desperately. She turned her back to Celestia. Her horn surged with darkness and her eyes glowed white. "Perhaps thou would like to know my pain so that thou could speakest to me of true repentance," Luna threatened. Luna had studied a spell that would have an effect similar to Celestia's sealing while she was away. Starswirl the Bearded had mentioned it to her after she told him what she experienced. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time now.

Celestia stood there, patiently awaiting her sentence. Luna gritted her teeth and and turned to face her sister. She knelt down and folded her wings in. A sign of surrender. Celestia wasn't going to defend herself.

"Thou would not resist if I were to send thou to my realm?!" Luna cried out in frustration.

Celestia quietly nodded her head. "Send me away..."

Luna stared her sister down.Her sister even stopped crying and was instead the graceful, peaceful pony she knew.

"Why dost thou needest to be righteous?! Guard thyself cur!" Tears streamed down her face as she shouted. Celestia's morality was starting to reveal Luna's true nature.

Luna wanted to be wrong. She wanted to be guilty.

Luna loved her sister and her sister loved her back. The thought of her sister inflicting such horrible pain on her by accident tore her to pieces. Nopony would do that to a pony they love. She wanted Celestia to admit that Luna had done something that elicited the sealing and that Celestia still loved her and was pained by the decision. In a way Luna did deserve what happened to her, but it was out of a cry for help so it wasn't even entirely wrong. Above all else, she wanted know that Celestia wasn't guilty of what she did, that she was only following some other pony's command or something. Celestia's guilt only confirmed her responsibility for Luna's sealing and if she sent her away on purpose, Celestia couldn't love her.

Luna's heart was twisted by all the emotions she felt. Confusion turned rage as she became angrier with Celestia. "Thou hast done nothing wrong!" Luna shouted, grasping at anything she could. "Defend thyself from an unfair judgement!"

"Send me away!" Celestia yelled back. Tears were streaming down her face as she faced her absolution.

"Tempt me not once more sister!" Luna feinted. She was beginning to break down. She sobbed and slumped down a bit. "I will not hesitate!" she weakly threatened.

"Then do it! I deserve it!"

"Dost though thinkest that all will be well should I do so? That the pain shall just lift the darkness away?!" Both ponies were becoming increasingly emotional and frustrated by the situation.

"Then what do you want from me?!"

"Tell me I was wrong! Tell me that I deserved what happened to me!" Luna fell to her plot and just sat there and cried pathetically.

Celestia went down to hug Luna.

"I do not want to send thee away Tia. Thou art my only friend... I am... so lonely..."

"Little sister... I can't tell you that you were wrong. You cried out for help and I ignored you. I can tell you that you didn't deserve what happened to you and that you were missed dearly. I was so lonely without my beloved sister."

"Oh Tia..." was all that Luna could choke out between her sobs. Luna knew Celestia's words were true.

"I was... I was blind... Using the Elements was a mistake, but I knew no other way. I didn't want that to happen to you, it just did..." Putting things so bluntly hurt Celestia, but she knew Luna needed to hear certain things.

"I saw the eternal torment you lived through through that lens. I saw you suffer... I saw you try and end your life... over and over again..." Celestia's deepest feeling was to emerge and she was powerless to stop it. She couldn't even tell if Luna was could hear her over herself.

"There were sometimes that I prayed that you would succeed... I couldn't stand seeing you like that. I know how strong you are and to see you doing that broke my heart... Nay, shattered it. I just wanted your suffering to end. Those were the times that I'd spend more time with you. I'd talk to you and sing to you and read to you..." Celestia ranted emotionally.

Luna picked up the filly's book and sobbed into it. "Tis the most loneliest place imaginable. I thought thou had forgotten of me." She opened the book and turned a few pages. "But thou readest me stories. My favourite stories..."

Celestia squeezed Luna tighter as she flipped through the book. In it were her childhood's memories and every page was covered in small water marks. After a few seconds she found a specific story.

"Dost thou readest me this one many times?" Luna asked, smiling through tear stained eyes. Celestia recognized it as Luna's favourite story. She remembered how Luna used to ask her to read it over and over again as a filly. Every single night for almost a year before they went to bed.

"Many times dearest sister... It was a special one." Their tears soaked the already tear-stained pages. "It always seemed like after I read this one, you cried less and walked more. Like you were happier..."

Luna broke down into a heavy and emotional cry over that. She buried her face into Celestia's shoulder and released all the pain she felt over a thousand years. Celestia nuzzled her and caressed her with her wing, comforting the lunar princess.

Cries of pain and misery filled the rooms, not soft cries, but deep, emotional, heavy and painful cries. They tore at Celestia as Luna sounded like her very throat would give out. Luna wasn't just crying, she was breaking herself. Even after she was released she had put up a wall. Nopony knew the complete extent of what she had been through and she never told anypony. She just pretended that she had gotten over it, but never had. Instead, she locked the pain away.Now here was her dearest sister who knew of her pain and did everything she could to soothe it, no matter how futile. She was tearing down everything that she was so that maybe she could begin to heal.

Luna tried to speak, baring comprehensible as she heaved. "T-Tia... I... hath n-n-not... forgiven you. But... I will t-try with all my heart... To f-f-forgive you. Just know... that no matter what... I will always love you." Luna swallowed hard, "And one day... this will all be... behind us."

The hugged and cried until there was a knock at the door. The waffles had come. The delicious, mouthw-watering waffles.They spent the rest of the day in the observatory, remembering what they had before and eating waffles.

Chapter 3

3.

Luna had slept in Celestia's room again. They had spent the last night cuddling tenderly, both of them enjoying the longed for sense of touch between them. Some things just couldn't be said and needed to take place with loving embraces. Words were powerful, for a kingdom could rise or fall on a single one, but when kingdoms are hearts, a touch can say a lot. It was a tender moment to fall asleep last night and Celestia had never felt better waking up. The guilt she felt the thousand winters before had not vanished, but she didn't feel powerless, it was like she knew the answer to a question they couldn't ask.

Celestia awoke early with Luna cradled in her embrace. She snoozed peacefully as her form rose and fell softly in the twilight. It still seemed dreamlike that she had spent a thousand years, watching and hoping for the pony lying beside her right now and she actually existed. Time has a strange of making a distance seem farther, both mentally and emotionally. She kept her sister sacred in heart the entire time, never taking her for granted or treating her like a chore, but there were some times where Celestia questioned if she was real or not. A pony who only exists in a lenses starts feeling like a figment of one's imagination after about 500 years.

Yet here she was, in the flesh. She nuzzled her sister, gently caressing Luna's face with her own.

"Wake up sweetie..." she said softly.

Luna stirred and fluttered her eyes open, smiling at her big sister while she laid in her arms. She yawned. It was exceptionally cute. But not as cute as when she nuzzled her sister back immediately afterwards.

"I love thee Tia."

"I love you too Lulu. Did you sleep well?"

"I did, dearest sister. I had the most wonderful dream..." Luna stretched in a way that was less cute than the nuzzle, but more cute than the yawn.

"Oh?

"Mmhmm! Yet it shall be my secret. Shall we go and bring about the day?" asked with small, timid smile.

"Oh my. You can share it with me. I won't tell anypony!" Celestia replied. Luna was definitely not the same pony she was yesterday.

"Thou hast but one hint. Thou wast present! Now hurry up Tia, do not keep the day waiting!" she announced jumping out of bed playfully and running up the stairs.

When Celestia made her way to the top the stairs she saw an extremely proud Luna standing in position, ready to begin the ceremony. It touched her heart and made her tingle with glee. Even though her sister's return was of great political, moral and magical importance, it meant something different to Celestia. It meant never having to be alone, it meant having somepony to go through the thick and thin with and above all else...

It meant having her best friend back.

No matter what happened in life, she would always have this one moment with Luna. No matter what happened during the tribulations of the day, they'd have the special moment where they brought about a new day.

And maybe Luna would continue sleeping in her chambers. Despite it's implications, it kept them close and Celestia saw no true objection to it.

Cadance poked her head up like the day before just as they finished.

"Oh good morning Cadance," Celestia greeted.

"Well met fair Cadance," Luna parroted.

"Heya Celetia. So you're not going to need me to help raise the sun or moon anymore now that Luna's back, right?"

"I'm afraid not. I do thank you for your service though."

"Of course. It was an honour to serve Canterlot in the absence of the true princess," Cadance replied, quite rehearsed. She threw a wink at Luna. Cadance turned around and began to go back down the stairs. "Oh by way the Princess Luna, give me like a week to move out."

Luna shot a very 'how the hay did she know' look at Celestia. She never said anything to Cadance about taking her room back and neither had Celestia. Almost as if on cue, Cadance called out again.

"Oh by the way again, these walls are like paper thin, I can hear everything!" she chimed from the depths of her chambers.

Luna turned blazing red while Celestia only faintly flushed with a smile.

"Yes don't worry, we will have that fixed when you move in," Celestia said, rubbing Luna's mane as she buried her face into the floor.

They decided perhaps it would be best to get some breakfast. Luna wondered what else Cadance heard. She winced at the thought of Cadance hearing them cry together for hours on end. Luna hoped that she was more tactful than that. She was a princess after all. Still, more things bothered her about Cadance.

"If i may trouble thee with an inquiry..." Luna asked rhetorically.

"Of course..."

"What purpose does Cadance serve exactly? I would prefer the longer version this time."

Celestia let out a silent sigh.

"Oh my, where to start...? First of all she is by title a Grand Princess of Canterlot. She restored the dual-monarchy we have..."

"Her? She is of an equivalent title of thou? She is is a young mare."

"She may be, but her heart is pure and her rule is just. She is loved dearly by our ponies."

Luna was hurt by that last statement. She knew Celestia wasn't trying to leave a biting remark, but she couldn't help from reading into it. Her last decree wasn't well received by anypony. A solemn look overcame Luna's face.

"Oh Luna, I didn't mean it like that..." Celestia said thoughtfully.

"I know..." Luna was sad. Cadance seemed like the perfect replacement, she was well-loved, something that Luna could never accomplish. "Tell me sister, is she now the princess of the night? I presume so for she hath taken my title and bed."

"Of course not. There is only one princess of the night and I'm talking to her." Celestia gave her a warm smile. "Let us ask her to join us for breakfast. There we can discuss your most triumphant return, to your title and sleeping chambers!" Celestia said enthusiastically. Her pompous proclamation provided the perturbed princess with peace of preconscious.

Luna and Celestia had met up with Cadance at the Royal Cafe. A quiet restaurant, privately owned by the royalty. It served only the most important ponies in the castle. While not in possession of the cleverest name, it was the finest cafe in Equestria. Gourmet dishes of great intricacy and delicacy, these meals, no, works of art were painstakingly crafted by the greatest chefs of the kingdom.

"May I have the Pain Perdu Ensemble with fresh strawberries and pomegranate." Celestia politely requested to the waiter. He silently wrote down the princess's order.

"And for you?" he asked Cadance quietly and respectfully.

"The usual," she replied with a heart warming smile.

"Ah yes, the Strawberry Breakfast Bruschetta Finis. Excellent choice madame. Most becoming," he said graciously. He turned to Luna. "And for--"

"Thy princess of the night desires the finest of all waffles," Luna said cutting him off with an endearing amount of arrogance.. She was frustrated with the menu. She could barely identify half the items on the menu calling it 'A gross perversion of the simplest of meals.'

"Of course, of course. You will be served momentarily. Please enjoy your time here your majesties." With that he scurried off.

"So Luna, I take it that you like waffles," Cadance mused. She was happy to see Luna so lively. She was confused by the crying coming from Celestia's room the night before last, but after hearing two distinct voices, she assumed it to be Luna. Or for Celestia to have found a special somepony. She was always urging the her to do so.

Anyways, after the crying and not seeing them for an entire day afterward, she started to worry a great deal. Many things could have gone wrong, but seeing Luna angrily demand waffles from the world's greatest chefs put her at ease.

"Why of course fair Cadance. Tis a delicacy!" Luna announced.

"Yes Cadance, do you know of the subtle greatness of waffles?" Celestia added.

They all chuckled and laughed lightly at that. Luna felt good talking to Cadance, she was friendly and easy to get along with. Yet the natural rivalry between them kept their conversation polite and distanced. Neither of them truly spoke their mind.

"Spare me, can thou really hearest us from thy chambers?" Luna inquired

"Uhmm!" Cadance blushed pinker than usual. "I can, but only when you're really loud and it's completely silent. I can put a sound barrier up though."

"I think that is a wonderful idea Cadance. I'm sure you'd appreciate the two-way silence as well," Celestia interjected. She shot a considerate glance at Luna.

As the time drifted by, their conversations became more serious in nature. Luna was brought up to speed on the state of affairs in Equestria. She winced at the mention of Princess Rosetta and that she would most likely want to meet Luna before too long. Cadance also offered to step down from her title to make way for Luna as soon as she could square away the current dealings she had on a royal level. The room was obviously mentioned and submitted. All while enjoying the most delicious waffles in Equestria.

Luna finished the breakfast with extremely high spirits. She felt like completely regained her old life back in her opinion. Sure there were some new customs she had to learn and some bureaucracy she had to sign her way through, but as long as she had Celestia, all would be well. She anxiously waited for Celestia to announce what next was on their list of royal duties. The emotion and light breakfasts were nice, but Luna was ready to get her hooves dirty and stand by her sister on the throne.

"Well my sister, I'm sure you probably want to get back to your natural sleep schedule. Nothing lulls to sleep quite as well as a fully belly!" Celestia suggested. "Feel free to stay in my chambers. It was been... most wonderful." Celestia blushed shyly, her voice getting quieter as she finished that thought.

"Oh... yes... of course." Luna was disappointed. She was hoping to spend more time with Celestia before going back to her nocturnal sleep patterns. It was crucial that she watch over the sanctity of the night while Celestia was asleep, so she had always lived on a nocturnal clock. Part of her was hoping that Celestia would continue taking power over day and night, but it was but a fleeting fancy. She needed to be there during the night. It was a simple concept that had lonely consequences. Nopony was awake during the depths of the night. But it was still better than what she had already faced. Anyways she'd always see Celestia every day during their ceremony.

So Luna retired to Celestia's chambers and fell into a deep sleep.

*

Whiteness.

An infinite white void.

Luna stared into the all too familiar scene. She was certain that this was the horror that the abyss itself gazed into.

Soon the ringing returned as well and that brought certainty to her suspicions.

Desperate she cried out and stamped and made as much noise possible.

She heard nothing but the ringing. She was trapped again.

She began to run futilely.

For an eternity she ran away from it.

And then she began to cry.

Until she forgot how to be calm.

And then she tried to kill herself.

Over and over again she dived at the ground on her neck, she couldn't break it.

She landed on her head, trying to break her skull open. It wouldn't crack.

She tried to hold her breath and suffocate herself. She didn't need air.

She tried to kick herself in the heart. She was too weak.

If only she could open her eyes and see the world, then would she be able to finally end it.

But her eyes were sealed shut.

In the faint distance she heard her sister.

She was begging her to stop.

Luna didn't care. She just wanted it to be over.

As she was about to hit the ground one last time, she opened her eyes and hung herself.

Wake up sweetie...

*

When she awoke, she awoke erratically, thrashing about under the covers. A warm presence held her back and calmed her. Luna turned around to see her most beloved pony. It was Celestia. She must had crawled into bed while Luna was asleep but she wasn't about to complain. She cuddled up close to her whimpering. It had felt so real.

"Was it Nightmare Moon again?" Celestia's tone was quiet, loving and concerned.

"T'was not that nightmare, but the white one," Luna cried, sobbing into Celestia's chest. She still couldn't differentiate that specific dream from reality. It was a reoccurring dream that happened almost three times a week. Even though she had it often and knew it well, it still didn't save her from it. She faced the horror of death 12 times in that dream and each time it left her in a state of panic and disbelief.

Celestia squeezed her little sister and stroked her mane until the crying stopped. After a few moments of convulsing Luna calmed down.

"Now now, Lulu... it's going to be alright."

"Please do not part sister... I need you... I'm... not strong enough yet..." Luna was starting to realize the wear she must be having on her sister. She was the ruler of Equestria and here she was, seemingly foal sitting her little sister. Still, nothing made her feel better than Celestia's magic warmth.

"I promise, I need but a moment longer and you'll be free of me."

"Of course, stay as long as you want, but I'd hate for you to miss your surprise." Celestia winked at her.

"Thou hast a surprise for thee?"

Celestia cocked her head towards the observatory. Luna slowly walked up the stairs and saw a truly wondrous night sight. Bright and colourful nebulae littered the sky like massive, immovable clouds. Every single star shone it's at it's brightest, even making the dimmer ones stand out and bee seen. As she walked up the stairs, magical lights dimly illuminated the floor and furniture appeared in a stylish and showy star storm. Each chair and couch appeared before her as one of her many favourite constellations and took a relative form, materializing in the form of shifting galaxies. A small circular bookcase rose from the center of the room.

Lenses and telescopes similar to that of Celestia's personal observatory magically moved to a perfect viewing distance and followed her around intuitively. Never being in the way and always being where she wanted them, almost as if they could read her mind. She just stood there in awe at the magnificent display of magic.

"Do you like it?" asked Celestia as she quietly walked up the stairs, admiring her own work.

"Thou made all of this?"

Celestia simply gave her a reassuring smile.

"From here you will see every pony of the night. Unlike 1000 years ago, some of our subjects have become quite the night owl."

"My first pledge to you is to not let history repeat itself. You will never be alone again, and if you are let me know." Celestia looked straight into Luna's eyes. She glowed like a star.

"You are the most wonderful sister anypony could ever ask for... I know now, that someday this will be all behind us."

Celestia retired to her chambers as Luna lost herself in the night sky. She remembered all those long years ago when she herself painted the sky. Celestia had kept her imagining exactly the same. Not a star out of place and not a nebula out of hue. It was an adventure into her memories as she remembered the stories of the heroes and heroines of the stars. Only the greatest ponies of history and even some that weren't, could find their way in the eternal memory of the sky.  Cadance walked up into the observatory quietly from her bedroom.

"Cadance, should thou not be sleeping? Tis dark and an early morning will ensure tasks are handled," Luna asked wearily without tearing her gaze.

"Tia, told me of what is was like before you're sealing." Hearing her use her personal nickname for Celestia and then talk about her sealing so casually made her cringe. "She said most ponies slept throughout the beautiful nights you crafted and I think that's wrong." She made a gesture towards the ceiling. "I just wanted to let you know that even though I can't stay up all night, I'll still stay up a little bit to make sure and admire it." Cadance put on the warmest, friendliest smile she could muster.

Something about Cadance seemed horribly prompted, forced and insincere. She was doing nothing wrong and generally speaking, she was being extremely friendly and pleasant, yet something rubbed Luna the wrong way about her. She was being too nice to her, like she was taking pity on her. Or maybe Celestia put her up to it in an attempt to make Luna feel welcome, which while noble, made Luna feel even more pitiful. She would rather have ponies come to her because of her, not because they think she desired pity. It was insulting. She'd play along with the charade though.

"Thou art truly kind to me. I thank thee for thy patronage," Luna muttered back coldly. It was one of her more common responses.

Cadance couldn't help but sense Luna's tone was bitter, forced and insincere. She was trying her hardest to be friendly to the princess, but was met with resistance masked by false courtesy, something all too common with royalty and the court. Oh well. Cadance knew she just had to try harder. Once Luna let down her walls, she was certain they would be good friends.

"Of course. So it's safe to assume that you're the expert on all this star stuff, right?"

That was an understatement. Luna had built the entire night sky as it was today. She was a novice like Cadance was somepony who cared about what she talking about. Oh well. If Luna ignored her enough, maybe she'd get fed up and see the real Cadance for who she is. It's not like she wanted to hate Cadance, she was completely ready to befriend and love the real Cadance once they could bond on honest terms instead of through these pseudo connections.

"Thou could sayest that..."

Cadance got up close to her and followed her gaze around the sky, to the slight annoyance of Luna. It was amazing to say the least. She had never seen the night sky in such colour and vivid detail. The enormous clouds of space portrayed depth that both expanded and belittled the mind.

"What is that one?" Cadance said, pointing to a darker nebula. Luna rolled her eyes.

Normally a question like that is difficult to answer in a simple exchange. The sky is a big place and usually the inquirer needs to point out some sort of reference in order to identify the object in question, but both their eyes lit up as a marker appeared on the dome. Cadance dared not move her hoof and after holding it there for a second, the nebula was outlined and next to it a short summary explaining it's origins. The Horse Head Nebula. The bookcase spun around and dispensed a book onto the short table next to it. They looked at each other in amazement.

"Woah..."

"Indeed... Celestia has been quite busy, has she not...?"

"I want one..."

The magic imbued in that room was truly outstanding. Luna couldn't wrap her head around all the possible spells at work. It was so stylistic yet practical. The glowing designs in the floor, the magically appearing furniture and now the dome was some sort of magical encyclopedia.

Even in light of the moment it couldn't take Luna's mind off the insincere pony standing next to her. Luna couldn't ignore Cadance for long. It seemed odd that Cadance had lived here for years and never saw this display while Celestia was making it or after it was done. It was right above her room and she didn't take Cadance to be an imbecile. Maybe the reaction could have been faked, but if it was, it fooled Luna. The gleam in her eyes, the expression on her face, she couldn't deny Cadance's sincerity.

Cadance had worked on that reaction for years now. She was just happy that Luna believed it.