The Eloquent Day

by Bleedin 3

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Other, Sex, Random
Length: 1099

Rarity feels quite sexually frustrated.

Rarity was meandering around her Carousel Boutique until suddenly a flyer smacks into her face. Picking up the paper it seemed to be an advertisement for a get help group for frilly talking rich walking fags like herself. Tired of her existence as a eloquent nobody she then goes to the group to meet ponies like herself.

Published 2012-11-16 15:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-16 15:00:02 UTC

Eloquence

"Um excuse me good sirs but is this the get help program?" said Rarity as she entered through the door of the complex.

"Why yes good madam It is I Truncheon Maleshoof. I see you are here for the help on the subject of Eloquence?" said the teacher.

"Um no I'm here for the exact opposite..."

"OH.... then you might want to go next door"

"Quite! Thank you Eloquent sir you might just need the program yourself aswell!"

Rarity walked towards the next door after Truncheon Maleshoof closed the door on her rudely. She trotted to the next door and saw it open before she could knock. She met the next character who seemed to be a redneck pony from the south of Equestria.

"Well helo dere pretty hoarse My name is Backward Hoofs and your here for the anti-Eloquence class so then you don't sound so much like a snob?"

"Um yes I can not handle the stares of everyone even my friends everytime they here my language and I just want to sound normal...."

"Weil that's okay! I used to sound right purdy liek u until all my frainds abandond me so now I tulk like dis all da time"

"Really you went through the same problem as me?"

"Yep, but in the south they don't taik to kindly to those mannerisms, anywho cum insid u'll be welkome by all these frilly types!"

Rarity walked through the door passing by Backward Hoofs were she noticed a bunch of ponies in top hats and aswell as Prince Martin Willis sitting in a circle of chairs. Rarity trotted towards one of the chairs and sat down while eyes followed her in return. Rarity was nervous beyond belief she could not handle the stress of so many ponies looking at her until she finally got the courage to speak.

"Um... Hello?"

"Why hello there deary my name is Whitehoof Millionairepants, and what is yours?" said One of the top hat ponies.

"My name is Rarity the most Eloquent creature in all of Equestria. My language skills have been both a curse and a blessing for me but mostly a curse..."

"Not to worry! We all have the same problem we will work it out together!"

"Here, here!" said The rest of the top hat ponies except for Prince Martin Willis.

Prince Martin Willis stared at the other ponies who were cheering and felt an uneasy quesiness inside himself.

"Um why the hell am I here!? I don't even talk Eloquently!" said Prince Martin Willis.

Rarity trotted towards Prince Martin Willis and smacked him in the face for being a little bitch. Then she whispered something to him behind his ear which caused him to cringe in fear. He then began to sit in his chair and will not say anything for the rest fo the story.

Rarity returned to her chair and crossed her legs to comfort herself.

"Well when do we start?" said Rarity.

"Well we are indubitably waiting for one more person!" said One of the top hat ponies.

"Who?"

Then a knocking was heard on the door and Backward Hoofs opened it to find Applejack staring intently at him.

"Applejack what are you doing here!?" said Rarity.

"Rarity what are you doin here!?" said Applejack.

The two mares stared at each other for a few seconds in disbelief. Then Applejack found the courage to speak.

"Um... remember when I told ya'll about how I moved in the Big Apple with my uncle and aunt? Well I could not get over the accent and it has been really difficult to do this Southern accent you guys are familiar with because in reality... I talk eloquently like this."

"Really all this time you have been hiding the fact that you speak proper words!?" said Rarity shocked.

"Why yes Rarity I have been mispronouncing my vowels for the past many years and I am sorry I lied to you." said Applejack as Eloquently as possible.

"Inconceivable!" said Rarity still shocked.

"Good show young mares! You really put a step forward towards killing your Eloquence now everyone start talking proper, except you Prince Martin Willis no one likes you. Now take your seats everyone" said Backward Hoofs.

Applejack sat next to Rarity, even though it was uncomfortable Applejack felt that with Rarity they then could go through this together.

"I'm here with you my good friend" said Applejack towards Rarity.

"I... I think we can do this yes" retorked Rarity.

"Alright ,first things first, I want all of you to do an exercise with me, Its called the Derp Exercise, repeat after me.
"ahem" Durrrrr!! de!! durrr! da!! diddly!! durr!! aaa!! herrp!! durrr!!!" said Backward Hoof as stupidly as possible while waving his arms around and derping his face.

"Durrrrr!! de!! durrr! da!! diddly!! durr!! aaa!! herrp!! durrr!!!" repeated the rest of the ponies sitting in the circle including Rarity and Applejack but, not Prince Martin Willis because he is a fag.

"Alright now I want you all to think about the stupidest most retarded thing you all have ever done and then spill the beans all over this circle in derp voice for example "ahem" I ounce ate a cockrooch with my pee-pee aher aher" said Backward Hoofs.

"I dun fell en luf wit a rook he was so darn charmin herp der derp." said Rarity.

"I made loov to mi brotha he was so fetchin I jut wanted to rap is buthole" said Applejack hoping no one understood what she meant.

"I masterberderd ull aver my Tup Hait!" said Whitehoof Millionairepants.

"Gurd! Gurd yer dun weil! Alreety dats it for today and remember derp derp di diddly derp!"

The ponies of the circle left the room, Applejack and Rarity were giggling at the exercise they performed and as they exited the room only to bump into Twilight Sparkle.

"Twilight what are you doing here?" said Rarity.

"Don't tell me you have some secret or something right?" said Applejack.

Twilight Sparkle stared at them both and then finally said "Where is that nobody boyfriend of mine?" said Twilight Sparkle.

"Uh... In there" said Rarity.

Twilight went in the classroom and discriminate arguing was heard aswell as crying. Twilight left the classroom and went on her merry way. Rarity and Applejack looked to see what happened only to hear a distraught pony crying on his chair. They could hear the indistinct words "She broke-up with me" muffled between tears of sadness. Realizing what happened Applejack and Rarity started to laugh immensely and left as well on their merry way.