A Normal Day

by CosmicWaltz

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Main 6, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5999

Discord tries to blend in with the Ponyville lifestyle.

Another follow-up to In Search of the Sun, coming after Diplomacy!

Discord, in a bit of a crisis over his recent decision to leave chaos behind him, attempts to live the Ponyville life while trying to find his place in a normal world.

You can probably guess how well that works out.

Published 2012-11-16 08:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-16 08:40:01 UTC

Chapter 1

A Normal Day
by CosmicWaltz

Discord shifted his eyes from side to side, his head laying flat over the small table. Around him, Twilight and her friends, the Elements of Harmony, enjoyed casual conversation over their neatly served meals. The same story played out at the other tables outside the small diner. Ponies of every type conversed about everything from the weather to the news, and all topics in between.

And it bored him to no end.

"An' Ah'll be danged if it weren't right where Big Macintosh said it was!"

Boring.

"Angel's been really fussy lately, but I think it's because I've been spending so much time with you girls."

Boring.

"And then I zipped back into a loop, before dropping into a dive!"

Boring.

"And I told her 'I can't believe he used silk! That garment clearly called for velvet!'"

Boring!

"Snails has had that book for months now! I bet he lost it!"

Boring! But cute.

"And that's how I learned that blasting powder and baking powder are SO different! But WOW those cupcakes were great!"

"BORING!" the immortal shouted, rearing up from his prone position. He drug his hands down his face as he let out a sigh. "This is positively dreadful!"

Twilight raised a brow to him. "What's the matter? Is something wrong with your food?"

He dropped his head back onto the table, giving a menacing glare to the simple daffodil sandwich set before him. With a puff of smoky breath, glittering with magic, the sandwich grew butterfly wings and flew away.

"Ooh~!" Fluttershy quietly cooed, watching the sandwich fly off on the wind.

"Now, Discord," Twilight started, shaking her head disapprovingly. "I don't have to tell you to be careful with that magic."

The sound of glass shattering rang out as Discord's face contorted into even deeper insanity. He again rose. "At least it was something new! How can you ponies stand this?!"

"Stand what?" Applejack asked, taking a bite of apple. With her mouth half-full she continued. "Pleasant talk and nice weather?"

Rarity drew back in disgust at the pony beside her. "Applejack, darling, do not speak with your mouth full. It's impolite."

Taking the initiative, Rainbow Dash took a huge bite of her lily sandwich, moving in close to Rarity's other side. "Why not?" she asked, smacking heavily as she chewed with her mouth open.

"Oh, don't be so uncivilized!" Rarity shrieked, being attacked on all sides by such classless behavior.

"That's nothing!" chimed an excited-as-always Pinkie Pie. Snatching up a cupcake from the table, she tossed the confectionary treat into the air, catching it in her mouth as it fell. She quickly got to work chewing the snack before sticking out her tongue, the entirety of the cupcake now resting as mush on its end.

Rarity somehow seemed to lose even more color in her alabaster face as she looked at the display across the table. "Pinkamena Diane Pie! That is simply vulgar!"

"Uhm nuh duhn eht!" Pinkie incomprehensibly spoke before drawing her tongue back in. She shuffled her tongue around inside her mouth, showing her effort with the shifting bulge in her cheeks as her eyes drifted off in focus on whatever she was doing. In just a moment, she again stuck out her tongue. Now, a perfectly undamaged cupcake was on its end, topped with perfect icing and even a lit candle. "Tuh-duh!"

Everypony around was left stunned. Twilight tilted her head, one eye narrowing. "Pinkie... how..."

Before she could even form a question to such an improbable feat, Pinkie swallowed the cupcake whole, candle and all. "And on Tuesdays, I can even turn it into a dove!"

Fluttershy perked up at that mention. "It doesn't hurt the bird, does it?"

Twilight smirked. "See Discord," she started, turning back to the immortal. "It's plenty interesting around–"

Where Discord had once been, instead Twilight was met with an ominous gravestone. The inscription on its face read as;

Here lies Dr. Discord Erisius Draconequus von Discordia Rodriguez, Jr., Esq., Ph.D.
Bored to Death
May He Rest in Eternal Bedlam

With a flat expression, Twilight sighed. "Discord, you're not even trying to have fun."

Discord's head shot up from the soil before the headstone, a small lily still growing from a clod of dirt atop his head. "Fun? This is excruciating!"

Nervous shuffles came from each pony at the table, all save Twilight, whose look had changed to one of frustration. "Discord, you're being a jerk."

The immortal was beyond listening to her, however, now writhing in a mid-eternal-life crisis. "To think! I gave up infinite chaos and disorder — the powers of madness at my call! — all for such a dreadful thing as normalcy!"

Other ponies from around the diner were beginning to stare, watching such a curious scene unfold. Rarity was less than affected by the immortal's plight. "Discord, darling, nopony asked you to give all of that up; you chose such."

"Yeah," Pinkie chimed in, trying to brighten the situation as she was wont to do. "And besides, can't you just do all that chaosy stuff anywhere outside of Equestria?"

"Or in your house?" Twilight added, a visible twitch in her ears as she even tried to imagine what madness happens behind his door.

Discord flailed dramatically with a groan. "Ugh! It's just not the same!" His head again dropped hard to the table top, defeated. "Makes me miss being a courtyard ornament."

A few nervous glances were exchanged between the ponies at the table. Dramatic angst or no, this was obviously a real problem to their newest and oddest friend. At least, as real as any problem could be to the draconequus.

Applejack stood, slamming her hoof down on the table. "All right! Ah've heard jus' about all Ah can stand!"

With a roll of his eyes, Discord sighed. "You're telling me."

"Dangit, there's plenty'a fun t' be had, Discord!" she continued. Part of her was offended by his dismissal of their lifestyle in Ponyville, and she was going to prove him wrong. "Ya wanted a normal life? Then by Celestia, Ah'll show ya what that is! And yer gonna have fun doin' it!" She shot a friendly smile at the end, showing her light-hearted angle. "We ain't as borin' as ya think, Dissy."

Pinkie popped up from her spot, a rain of confetti following her action. "Yeah! I bet we can show you just how fun boring old normal stuff can be!"

"Sure we can!" Rainbow Dash joined, matching Pinkie's enthusiasm. "And who better than the coolest pony in Ponyville to show you!"

"Or the partyest pony!"

"Or the most glamorous!"

"Or, um, me. Fluttershy."

In a moment, a plan was silently devised between each pony at the table. They would show Discord just how much fun a mortal's life could be.

Decided, Twilight gave a glance to the immortal. "So, Discord? What do you say?"

"It will be fun," Fluttershy quietly added with a soft smile.

Pinkie popped up beside the pegasus, giving her a start in the process. "More fun than you can shake a taffy rope at!"

Casting his eyes around the table, the immortal sized the idea in his head. At last, he gave a lethargic grunt. "Well, why not?"

"Great!" Applejack said, leaving her spot at the table. "Well, hurry up, Discord. We got work t' do."

With reluctance, Discord took his own leave, following the farmer off towards her orchard. He would give the "normal" life a try.

Which could only end terribly.

As they left, Rarity turned to Twilight. "Darling, I don't mean to question where you place your affections, but whatever do you see in that ne'er-do-well?"

The unicorn in question gave a small blush, the airiest smile across her lips. "He makes me laugh. And don't let his attitude fool you; he's secretly a real sweetheart."

The winged sandwich lit upon the table again. Each pony looked on as it fanned its dusted wings, just moments before it exploded, tossing bits of sandwich everywhere.

"But I will have to tell Princess Celestia about that one."

--

Applejack backed toward another tree, letting her legs impart all of her strength into its trunk. The tree's apples cascaded down in response.

"Ya see?" she asked, looking back to Discord. "Ain't nothin' to it!"

As excited as Applejack seemed about such laborious work, he couldn't see the interest. "So you kick a tree? Nothing fun about that." He crossed his arms, taking a seat grumpily under one of the many trees of the orchard.

"Aw, shoot, Discord!" Applejack replied, tipping her hat. "Ya ain't even tried it!"

"Oh, fine." His card called, the immortal stood. He quickly tossed back his right, reptilian leg. It struck the trunk with a soft jolt.

Not a single apple stirred in the branches above.

The farmer tilted her head. "Uh, maybe try th' other leg. It being hoofed an' all."

Discord gave a heavy sigh. This wasn't fun to him. It wasn't even interesting. "Why? This is pointless!"

An idea then crossed Applejack. "Well, Ah guess if ya don't think ya can do it..."

"What was that?"

She had him right in her trap. "Hay, ain't no thing. So yer a little weak. Can't say it's surprisin' 'r nothin'. Not everypony can be as strong as us Apples." She popped her neck, flexing her shoulders in show as she did. "Wouldn't'a figured Twi'd go fer the 'delicate' type, though."

His honor, image, and masculinity offended, this was a challenge Discord couldn't turn down. "Oh, I'll show you!" Flaring out his back left leg, the one hoofed as a bison's, he landed a mighty blow against the tree.

His efforts were rewarded in kind by the fall of a single apple.

Discord blushed as he looked over the rather pitiful bounty. "I... I'm sorry. I've never had that happen before."

Applejack looked at the lone fruit. She had attempted to rile the draconequus, but had inadvertently proven a point she didn't even believe. She lowered her hat to avoid showing her own embarrassment. "Uh... Well... That... That weren't too bad, Ah guess..." She bit her lip. "Ah mean, Ah've seen worse an' all..."

"I still don't see the point in this," Discord groaned, trying his best to not show his shame.

The shift in topic was needed. "C'mon, Discord. It's jus' a little work. Does ya good, an' keeps yer head clear."

He still didn't see her side of the matter. "Fine! You want the apples down?"

With a snap of his talon, all of the apples on that side of the grove turned to stone, immediately falling from the branches. Each rocky fruit half buried itself in the soil with a dull thud as it landed.

Applejack's faced showed both shock and disgust at the work of his magic. "Discord! That ain't how it's done!" She kicked at one of the apples nearby, a solid sound reporting to her ears. "An' nopony's gonna want t' eat a rock!"

He hadn't even intended for the effect he had caused, chaos often being only loosely at his command. Where before it didn't really matter, his new life required more precision. Panic briefly flashed on his face as he realized just how big of a violation this was of his contract. "Oh, crud. Hold on, I'll put them back!"

With another snap, the apples all returned to their red and green colors. Before anypony could feel relieved, however, the apples did just as ordered and returned upward, floating like balloons out of their craters. Passing through the leaves and treetops, they drifted far above the orchard into the sky above.

Applejack stared on, mouth agape in abject horror. She had frozen, unable to even rationalize the loss.

Discord took this as a good cue to flee before she could regain enough composure to assault him. Perhaps he would have more luck assisting Applejack's nearby neighbor and their mutual friend, Fluttershy.

--

"DISSSSSSSSCOOOOOOOOOORD!!"

Fluttershy tensed as the splitting cry rang over the distant plains. She turned in its direction just in time to see Discord approach in haste. "Oh, hello Discord. Um, was that Applejack?"

"Nothing!" he quickly returned before thinking over the question. "I mean, no! Nope! The apples are all right where they should be! Why do you ask? That's just silly; you're silly. SO! What are you doing today!" His eyes darted around, beads of sweat running down his temples. Smooooth, he thought.

She was more than a little confused by his response, but let it slide, focusing more on his question. "Oh, I was just about to feed the animals. Um, would you like to help?" She thought back to the plans she and her friends had decided on. "It's fun."

Anything to keep him away from Applejack while she cooled down. "Sure. Can't go any worse than it did on the farm."

"What?"

"Nothing!"

Silence stalled between them.

"Um, well, the animals are, um, back here," Fluttershy finally said, pointing around behind her cottage. She headed in that direction, Discord following close.

Behind her cottage, all of her animal friends had gathered, waiting for dinner in the lush garden Fluttershy kept. Rabbits, birds, squirrels, bears, dogs, cats, crabs, moose, a manticore; you name it, it was there! A small pond just to the side even had the head of a large whale peering out from within.

Discord stopped in step, looking to the whale in particular. "Wait... How–"

"Ready, Discord?" Fluttershy asked, a soft smile on her face. She slid a small bag of feed toward the immortal. "All of the herbivores love this! And it's really good for them."

His previous question interrupted, a new question fired into life in his head. "Then what do the carnivores eat?"

The pegasus poured a small pile of the grain meal out for Angel first. "Oh, I usually feed them fish, or worms for the birdies."

"So, meat then?" Discord shrugged. "All right." Whatever worked, he supposed. He picked up one of the mice from a small family by the tail, turning to look up at a hawk on the edge of the cottage roof. "Hey, feather-head? Dinner-time." He started to pass the mouse to the bird of prey.

Fluttershy looked up just in time to see his folly. "Discord, no!"

He froze in place, lowering the mouse back to his chest. "What? Birds eat mice."

Fluttershy grimaced. It was true, but it wasn't her way. "But, the mice are our friends. Besides, Mrs. Hawk prefers salmon."

This puzzled him. "So, mice are friends, but fish aren't?"

"W-well..." she stammered, beginning to feel a nervous nausea in her gut. Her animal friends looked on, wanting to hear her answer to this new plight.

"I mean," Discord continued, swinging the poor mouse around as he gestured wildly with his hands, "why do the fish not get a say in this? Or the worms? Butterflies are fine, but are all insects? What makes aquatic mammals off-limits?"

"Well, Discord," Fluttershy feebly protested, feeling her heart pound in her chest. "It's just–"

He stopped her. "No-no. This doesn't seem fair. Hold on a second." He picked up the mouse, holding it before his eyes. "What say you, little guy?"

A flash fired behind his eyes, connecting with the mouse's.

The mouse cleared its throat before speaking. "I don't know. Seems a little biased."

Fluttershy's jaw dropped. "Mr. Mouse? You can talk?"

"He can now!" Discord answered. "In fact..."

With another flash of magic, the small yard was suddenly alive with banter from all of the previously silent animals. The topic of discussion however, seemed to be about Fluttershy's feeding habits.

"I don't see the big issue here," a doe said. "What's the problem with a fish or two for the meat-eaters?"

"Today fish, but what about tomorrow?" Mr. Mouse asked in debate. "What keeps me off the menu?"

Fluttershy went pale. "Oh, Mr. Mouse, I'd never–"

"If the mice are ever agreed on, we're next!" Angel shouted to his bunny friends, his voice surprisingly gruff.

Mr. Bear stepped forward. "I'm tired of fish! I vote for honey!"

"You can have our honey," a group of bees began in unison, "and all our stingers with it!"

Fluttershy bit her lip. "Please, every, um, one; please let's just calm down."

"Just to be clear," Mrs. Hawk asked, turning her head, "do I get to eat the mouse, or not? I'm confused."

Two worms rose through the soil. One screamed out, "She's a madmare! Murderer!"

The other worm joined. "Yeah! Put her before the judge! I call for a–"

Before finishing, the second worm was quickly grabbed up by Mrs. Hawk and tossed down her beak in a single motion. She turned back to Fluttershy. "Never mind! I got my own snack!"

"And I'm still hungry!" a turtle cried.

Fluttershy was in the midst of a panic attack as she tried, feebly to mediate the group. "Please! Everyone!"

"Food!"

"Justice!"

"Hey, are you gonna eat that bunny?"

"Keep those claws away!"

"QUIET!!"

Silence immediately took over. Fluttershy had spoken, and more, she had that look in her eyes. That look nopony nor animal questioned. "Now! You're all going to be fed however I say, and I don't want to hear another word about it!" Light flashed around each animal as Discord's spell was reversed by her stare alone. "Got it?!"

The immortal himself had taken a backseat on the event after his magic had taken effect. He stood close to the cottage, mouse still in hand and wide-eyed. He had done it again, hadn't he? He grabbed the transition of fur on his neck, pulling it away like a shirt collar to get some fresh air. "Well, that got a little–"

Fluttershy spun, giving the same glare to him. "And you!"

Dropping the just as terrified mouse, Discord hopped into the air. "It'sbeenfunseeya!"

In a blink, he was gone, leaving Fluttershy to feed her animals however she darn well pleased.

--

Rainbow Dash relaxed on a cloud above Ponyville. She was soon to start her work shift, but being captain of her district's weather-patrol gave her the benefit of deciding her own hours. It also helped if you were the fastest pony at your job.

She stretched, giving a small yawn when a stray cloud bumped into hers.

"Hey, watch it!" She turned, ready to burst the cloud. Instead, she saw a cloud with jaundiced eyes, a single fang, mismatched wings, and a red reptilian tail. "Huh? Discord?"

A paw popped out of the cloud, holding a finger just before the fang on the front. "Shh! I'm a cloud."

"What are you doing?" she asked, a goofy grin on her face.

Discord's head emerged from the fluffy mass. "Hiding."

"From?"

"Horrors you couldn't imagine."

She cocked a brow. "Rrrrrrrright. Yeah." In any case, she was now well out of her drowsy daze, and ready to work. She flew into a loop, bursting the cloud she was on just before with a downward hoofstrike. "I was just about to get to work anyway. Sky won't clear itself! You want to help?"

'Help' had been a rather jarring word so far today. "Not on your life!"

"Suit yourself!" Dash said, flying away from the immortal. "But you're missing out!"

In a flash, she was off to work, clearing out the clouds above Ponyville with soaring acrobatics.

"See, Discord?" she called, flying headfirst through a cumulus. "Sometimes you just gotta fly!"

As Discord watched on from the safety of his cloud-guise, he began to find his interest piquing. Part of it reminded him of his days as Chaos Coordinator, where he controlled the weather in his own mysterious ways from Everfree Castle long ago. Part again was just in how fun it looked to burst the fluffy masses. It carried all the disorder of destruction with all the amenities of organized labor; ordered chaos, if you will. And he had to get in on it.

"You have offended my honor!" Rainbow Dash shouted in a strange accent to a low-flying cloud. "Prepare. TO DIE!" She darted towards the cloud, screaming in show as she did. She had watched too many foreign films, perhaps, but she was having fun in any case.

Before she could land her famous flying-drophoof on the lone cloud below, she was instead intercepted by another. "Out of my way, Prism-head!"

As the blur of cloud barreled into her, Rainbow was sent spinning. Flaring her wings to balance herself, her head reeling in dizziness, she got a look at just what had crossed her.

Discord was piloting his cloud, now outfitted with a steering wheel, long hood, and an air-intake scoop. He was arched over the wheel, white-knuckled with his tongue out in concentration as he narrowed his sights on a distant cloud. "This one's for the cup!"

It only took Rainbow a second to realize just why that was a bad idea. "Wait! Discord! When two clouds hit–"

It was too late, however. Discord's Cloudillac piled into the other cloud, immediately splitting the sky in a bright flash of lightning.

Discord shook off his daze, finding himself lying on one of Ponyville's rooftops. As he looked up to see what had thrown him so callously out of the sky, he saw a swelling tempest barring down hard on the town below. Ponies screamed in the streets, facing a sudden downpour as lightning fired at weathervanes above.

Rainbow Dash was zipping around the storm cloud, trying her best to break it apart before any of her superiors from Cloudsdale arrived. "Horseapples! Horseapples! HORSEAPPLES!"

Discord stood, running his talon over his beard. "Oh, yeah. That does make a storm, doesn't it? Oops." Magicking up an umbrella, though one devoid of any cloth webbing, he took his leave, hoping to avoid the attention of a rather flustered mare above.

--

Sugarcube Corner was experiencing an unexpected rain-in, which wasn't good for business. Nevertheless, even when there were no orders to fill, Pinkie was just at home making her own!

She had just placed the ingredients on the table when a certain draconequus stepped in through the back. "Disco! You're just in time!"

"In time for what?" he asked, before quickly pulling the blinds closed on the small window above the sink. "And I was never here."

Pinkie hopped in place, oblivious as ever. "Okie dokie lokie! Now let's make cupcakes!"

After ruining a harvest, inciting an uprising, and causing an unscheduled storm, this seemed like the best idea yet. How bad could cupcakes be, anyway? "Sure. But I was never here."

"You see," the pony began happily bouncing around the kitchen as she collected her bowls and pans. She placed each atop her head as she found them, performing an amazing balancing act. "Since it's all rainy and gloomy out there, what better way to bring in customers than with a 'Rainy Day Cupcake Sale'! It'll be cupcakerific! Especially now, since you can help!"

'Help'. He cringed. "You know, maybe I should–"

It was already decided though, as a bag of flour was tossed his way. "All righty lefty! Let's get mixing! Firstly, we need to mix flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder — not blasting powder! — into a mixing bowl!" She slid the bowl before him, a huge smile on her face. "I'll get the pan and oven ready!"

As she placed the recipe before him, Discord looked down to the bowl. He quietly spoke to himself. "All right Disco, — I mean, Discord! You've got this. You just have to follow the recipe. No magic, no chaos; just follow. the. recipe."

He picked up a measuring cup, peering in with focused eyes. "Easy peasy!"

-

"And she was all like 'that's not how you call a duck' and I was like 'is too!' and you should have seen the look on her face when ducks showed up by the dozens!"

Discord sat atop the countertop, listening with the patience of the scholar as Pinkie meandered from story to story while they waited for the cupcakes to bake. The dough he had stuck in his ears thirty minutes before helped as well.

As he watched Pinkie gesture the details of another story in the silence of his mind, he was taken aback when she suddenly stopped, giving him a bright smile.

He snapped to attention, popping one of the dough balls out of his ear. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said," Pinkie repeated, "that the oven dinged! Cupcake-time!"

Discord hopped off the table. This would be the result of his hard work. He had followed the recipe precisely; not one grain of flour, nor crystal of salt over the called for amount. If there was any proof that he could blend into this mortal world, this would be it.

Pinkie bit onto her oven mitt, popping open the oven with excited jubilation.

A chorus of foreign operatic voices sprang from within the oven, each cupcake vibrating as it added to the harmony. Also, somehow they were now muffins.

Discord's jaw literally dropped to the floor. He picked it up, placing it back in its respective place. "Oh, come on!" he cried, an eye twitching. "How in the flying feather is that possible! I didn't even use magic that time!"

Pinkie couldn't care less, her smile wider now than one would have thought possible. "This is even betterer! Opera muffins! Opfins!" She joined in the singing, though mumbling and making up her own words where she did not know the real lines.

Discord loved chaos, but even this may have been just outside his realm of tolerance. Twilight's ordered nature must be rubbing off on him. He slipped out a window as Pinkie's back was turned.

--

He stared at the door of Carousel Boutique, talon tapping his chin in thought. After a few seconds he came to his decision. "Nope."

He turned, ready to see what Twilight was up to, when a voice rang out behind him. "Discord, darling, is that you?"

He froze in step, that affectionate word again stabbing him like a dagger. Darling...

"Oh, of course it's you," Rarity corrected herself, her voice ringing with the accent she had undoubtedly faked until it had become ingrained. "Who else could it possibly be?"

Discord turned, a handlebar moustache affixed on his lip. "'Fraid not! Must be thinking of some other draconequus! Good day, Miss!"

She wasn't falling for it. "Just get in here, you. We all promised both you and Twilight that we would show you the benefits of normal living, and I intend to do just that!"

He wasn't getting out of this easy. "Oh, well, no need! I've seen how fun it is already today!" The previous disasters flashed in his mind like an evidence reel. "Yeah... real fun."

Before he could dispute further, he found himself being pushed back into the boutique by the unicorn. "Oh, no you don't! If anything, I refuse to send you back to Twilight looking like this! I have a reputation to uphold!"

Discord dug his feet in, stopping her progress. He turned to Rarity, hands at his hips and moustache still firmly affixed. "And what is wrong with how I look?"

With a blank expression, Rarity let her magic flow into her horn.

Brazenly, the moustache was ripped from Discord's lip. "Ow! Hey, what was that for!"

"Moustaches are so two seasons ago, darling." She motioned to her boutique. "In. Now."

In a huff, Discord did as he was told. He was starting to miss when everypony was scared of him. Of course, a few more instances of chaos, and he may just get that credit back.

-

"You see, darling," Rarity cooed, taking a measure of the draconequus' waist. "I know it may not seem as such, but I can completely sympathize with you."

Discord stood atop a dais, his reflection staring back at him from a spread of mirrors as the unicorn took his measurements. Though it didn't show in his mannerism, he was a draconequus that valued his space, and one uncomfortable with excessive physical contact. As such, Rarity's ministrations were causing him to grind his teeth in frustration now.

She continued, unaware of his discomfort. "I, too, have had my difficulties with Ponyville's more folksy lifestyle. You see, fashionable as I am, and as much as I'm sure some ponies here must expect I'm from someplace far away, I am in fact a Ponyville native."

As she floated the measure up to Discord's neck, the draconequus shifted on his mismatched feet. This was even more boring than he could have imagined. And she just kept rambling!

"In my younger days, I admit I never felt quite right here. I always dreamed of running away to the city, where my life could begin as I always saw it! Glamor, lights, fashion, fame!"

She lifted his lion arm, running the measure down the underside to get its length. Discord bit his tongue to keep from revealing that this was one of his most ticklish areas. He'd rather be turned into a statue, banished to the moon, and frozen in crystal all at once than have that terrible secret revealed.

"It was as I grew older, however, that I truly began to see just what I had here. Though Canterlot and the great cities have all the glitz and sophistication I hold in such high esteem, I learned that they would never truly be my home. That no matter how much I tried to hide where I was from, in my own way, I was always proud of it as well. It's a part of me."

She measured down his tail. He tried not to blush.

"Ponyville may not be the ritziest place in Equestria, but as I've come to find, it's certainly not short on excitement!" She marked down the numbers in a small pad, before turning to look him square in the eyes. "Sometimes you just have to find what really matters to you, and make what you have your own."

"Couldn't agree more," Discord mumbled, mostly just happy that she was done talking. He had tuned out most all of it anyway. Something about dresses and glitter, he didn't even know. Couldn't have been that important.

Pleased, Rarity turned back to her notes, moving a small piece of charcoal over a blank sheet beside her with magic. "Well, you're certainly a strange fit, but nothing I can't handle. I won't be able to use a mannequin, however, so I'll need you to stand in while I work out the pattern." She gave a few final marks to the page before lifting it up to Discord. "What do you think?"

On the parchment, Discord saw a simplified drawing of himself, dressed in a highly ornate and classy coat, one fit more for an admiral than a draconequus refugee. A raised collar, embroidered cuffs, heavy buttons; a silken frill collar lining the inner shirt, tapering down into a tight heart-shape within a v-fold; embroidered lines rising from the long tail of the coat, accentuating the negative space of draped fabric. He had to admit that it had a certain je ne sais quoi to it. "Hmm. ¡Me gusta!"

Rarity lit with excitement. "I knew you would love it! Now, I'll let you pick the fabric. It is, after all, your coat." She smiled up to him, brimming with the brightest hope that she had finally connected to some sense of Discord's deepest self.

Such an innocent, naive smile, he thought.

-

Rarity was green in the face as she looked over the final product. "I... You... That..." She swayed briefly before falling over in a dramatic swoon, fainting from the sheer offense their combined creation caused to every aesthetic sense within her.

Discord walked out, laughing maniacally to himself. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. If you can't join 'em, chaos it up, baby!

--

Twilight lay on the outdoor deck of Golden Oaks Library, a book opened before her this evening. Behind her, she heard the small glass door open as somepony else joined her. She turned to be met by the fatigued face of Discord. She shot him a warm smile. "Oh, Discord, you–" Quickly the smile melted into horror. "What in the name of all that is right in Equestria are you wearing?"

Discord looked over the coat he wore, trying to see just what she was so mortified about. Sure, the coat was made from a plethora of fabrics, all of different textures, patterns, and prints — silk met plaid met animal print met felt in a horrifying mesh of color and form — but it was a classy design nonetheless. "What? It's haute couture!"

Twilight knew better than to even raise protest or question. She knew the answer anyway. Instead, she changed the subject. "I got a letter today from Princess Celestia."

Discord fell prone to his belly beside her, stretching out his long body with a yawn. "Oh? What'd Sun-Butt have to say?"

"Oh, not much," Twilight said, returning to the book before her as she spoke. "Just something about a freak weather phenomenon in Fillydelphia. Ponies reported seeing apples flying over in the sky." She cut her eyes to Discord, an accusing tone hidden in sarcasm. "Can you believe that?"

His eyes went wide. "I can explain."

"You don't have to," she said with a small giggle. "I take it 'normalcy' isn't as easy as you thought?"

"You can say that again." Discord recalled his day. "Though, I will admit, I found the 'fun' I was missing."

"In chaos?"

"Accidental chaos, I promise you, but yes." He sighed. "That's a bad thing, isn't it?"

Twilight closed the book, giving her full attention to the immortal. "I've been thinking a lot today."

Discord took a guess to where this was going. "So, it's back to stone for me?"

She giggled again. "Not quite. I've thought about you, though."

This caught his attention. "Understandable. I'm pretty amazing."

"True, but you're also the Element of Chaos."

"Well, don't hold it against me."

"I don't." Twilight slid over closer to the immortal. "It's part of who you are."

Discord huffed as the unicorn moved in close. Still, he found himself smiling. If there was any one pony who he was comfortable letting get that close to him, it was her.

"You are who you are. Chaos is a part of you. And it's not something that's going to go away."

He wrapped his arm around her. "So, I'm off the hook?"

Twilight scoffed. "Not in the slightest. I have a detailed report coming in from each of our friends on your behavior today, which I will then compile and submit to the Princess."

He cringed. "Oh, goodie."

"Don't worry," she returned. "I promise I'll dress it up a bit. It was harmless, after all."

"Totally harmless. Except for that one worm."

"What?" she asked.

Discord flushed with panic. "Nothing!"

Twilight couldn't help but laugh. "So, did you find anything worth keeping about 'boring old normal life'?"

He looked up in thought. "Yes. This jacket."

She slid even closer, her fur now pressing against his unsightly outfit. "Anything else?"

Discord gave a peaceful smile. "Hmm... Nope. That's it."

Twilight kissed him on the cheek. "Oh, hush you." They both laughed together as the sun set in the far sky.

--

Princess Celestia read over the compendium before her. A flying harvest, animal revolt, errant storm, muffins that haven't stopped singing yet, and an incredible crime against fashion were all laid out before her, each followed by a series of addenda along the lines of "But he's really, really sorry!"

She held in a laugh as she read over the final report, Twilight nervously doing her best to not let on just how much chaos the draconequus was getting up to around his contract.

"Oh, Twilight, just what have you gotten yourself into?"