Loyalty

by Cjmax

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Tragedy
Length: 834

A short story I made about a pretty big and very devastating conflict Rainbow Dash encounters.

Rainbow Dash takes Applejack on a ride with her. Since Rainbow is so caught in the moment from doing her routine, Applejack falls off but Rainbow doesn't notice. She then decides to make a loyal, courageous decision to trade her life for the revival of her friend.

Update:

Thanks for the C&C guys, this is my first upload so I kinda expected this much harsh criticism. Not that it is a bad thing, it actually helps when it comes to when I might write another story. The description is a bit shallow but the idea is that RD was caught in the moment, and when AJ fell she didn't notice. I'll do some revising and change it to where she falls and possibly RD cant get to her in time? Perhaps that will work.

P.S.

You don't have to apologize for giving heavy C&C! It's what makes a writer better. I do appreciate any input.

I plan on getting better and providing you all with more well written stories.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-07 10:49:18 UTC

Loyalty

Loyalty - By Caleb Carter

Lying there, on her fallen friend, Rainbow Dash felt more and more hostile to herself. She looked back on it all and completely saw that if she wouldn't have done her selfish act, then this would've never happened. Tears rolling down her cheeks, she got up and took the hat lying beside Applejack. She sat back down, no longer crying, but broken hearted, fighting back the tears. Her eyes were squinted so close together it was hard to prevent the liquid from forming around her eyes. Rainbow began crying again, but this time she didn't cry silently, but rather the pony murmured things to Applejack. "Applejack, I'm so sorry. I.. I miss you. I loved you. You were my best f-friend," she said, "and now because of my useless stunt I had to show you..." she couldn't finish. It was too hard. She refrained from saying the words dead or gone and the lump that formed in her throat was unbearable. She couldn't admit it yet. It couldn't be over. There just wasn't a way it ended here. She had a full life ahead of her, and now shes.. gone. Rainbow couldn't accept it. It was impossible. How could AJ be dead? This made no sense to her. The gloomy environment, the deceased friend, and her own wet cheeks overwhelmed her. The devastated, tired pony fell asleep on her friend, tears still falling from her eyes.

When she awoken, she was excited, she thought, "Oh, my gosh it was a dream!" but then she lifted her head and looked to the right. It was nightfall, and there was still an inanimate broken body that belonged to Applejack. "No," Rainbow murmured, she swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed every emotion aside. She had to go to the most powerful. She had to be honest, explain what happened and ask for forgiveness. Rainbow picked up Applejack and carried the pony on her back all the way to Celestia, careful the whole way there hoping no one had seen her. She made a quick stop before her true destination. Rainbow Dash decided to stop at Applejack's barn. Rainbow set AJ down on some hay and wrote a note as quick as she could.

"Dear everypony, I am sorry I had to do this, but it will be for AJ's own good. You will not see me anymore.." a tear dropped on the paper. She continued, "while I was performing a trick to show Applejack a new maneuver, she dropped" another tear formed and slid down her cheek. "it wasn't immediately that I realised she wasn't holding on any longer, and I got wrapped up into the moment. I didn't notice until my routine was done that she wasn't there. It was too late. She had fallen, and I assume, had died on impact. I will ask Celestia for forgiveness, and trade my life for hers. Goodbye."

She dropped the pen, satisfied with her letter, and grabbed her friend for the last time. Celestia wasn't far from here, and she quickly found her. Celestia saw Rainbow Dash, and started to speak. It was then that she saw Applejack in her condition and stopped speaking, in awe. Rainbow told her what happened. Celestia understood and said that it was possible to exchange life, but she said she didn't have to do this. She was in no trouble, but Dash interrupted the princess. "I understand" she said. "But it would mean a lot to me," the little pony was crying again now, barely getting the words to be at an audible level. "If I don't do this, Applejack will be dead forever." There. She said it. Dead. The word struck her like a lead pipe. Celestia bowed her head and said, "this is very noble of you Dash" to which she responded, "Hey, I am the element of loyalty right?" and let out a sad little giggle. She sighed and closed her eyes. Celestia started her magic, and immediately Rainbow started to glow, her eyes went hot white and were a vibrant source of light, her wings fluttered and she raised, soon to fall. A lifeless pegasus lied there, just as deceased as Applejack was. But then, almost immediately Applejack's eyes opened, and she coughed. She saw rainbow and all she could say was "no.."

Celestia explained everything, including the fall Applejack had experienced, Rainbow Dash’s travel to her and how Rainbow traded her life for her best friends revival. By the time Celestia had finished explaining, Applejack was in tears. Tears of anguish, yet at the same time tears of joy. A joy to know that she had the best friend in the world to be with for those few years. Applejack thought of their past friendship as a gift from that moment on, a gift to have the most wonderful friend a pony could ever have. She looked up into the clouds and whispered calmly,

"I love you, sis."