The Luxury Of Lonliness
It was a chilly autumn night in ponyville. The moon was out, stars were just starting to show themselves through what was left of the limpid sunlight that was slowly surrendering to the evening darkness. "Well isn't tonight just Gorgeous..." Rarity said to herself as she was trotting back home to her tower-like house in ponyville. "Why its almost as if i'm walking through a work of art." She rambles on trying to keep her mood in decent shape.
Rarity's house was a boutique/dress shop. Very Glamourous on the inside. Very elegant. More so than
Most other pony's homes in Ponyville. Of course this is rarity we are talking about. Shes all about the best.
She walks inside and uses magic to hang up her scarf,and her overly feathered hat on her hat rack. "What a better way to enjoy this simply beautimus evening than to just relax with a glass of some spiced apple rum with ice." Rarity seemed to keep her drinking under control when she was out with friends, but when she was home alone she'd always throw down a few glasses of some high end expensive apple flavored vodka, Rum, or some of her favorite Blue rasberry scotch.She Had many likes in Alcoholic Drinks. It was sort of another hobby for her.
Her drinking was bassed off of her depression issues she's had since she was very young. Her lust for perfection hides it from most of her friends very well though.
"Here we are one glass, now I need to find that ice... " She says to herself searching for the ice tray. She looks and finally finds it. No ice in it, only some frost left over on the edges from being in the freezer for too long. "Oh shoot i remeber refilling the ice tray. Well i guess i'll have to go without ice tonight." Rarity did remember but she must have forgotten about the drinks she had this morning with Fluttershy.
"This is still quite a lovely evening... Well, almost... I just i still feel this aching in my soul. Like a hollowness, empty."She says to her cat Opalescence. Rarity's emptiness was a growing thing with each passing day She couldn't seem to shake it. No matter how many drinks, how many Pills she takes it wont go away. Its been growing inside of her since she was a small Filly. "Its time this stops. I cant take this agony any more... Maybe Twighlight could help. Shes always been good with emotional stress. I'll swing by." Rarity says to her already sleeping cat.
Twilight sparkle, One of Rarity's many friends that cares very deeply about Rarity. Twilight sparkle is a sweetheart to all of her friends. She smart, loving, and very helpful. "I'd better hurry its getting late. I dont want to keep her up." Rarity was a little bit of a worry wort when it came to her friends well being. Thats why she Just hurried out the door into blistering cold winds without her scarf, hat or jacket to walk to twilight's as fast as she could as to not keep her up late.
Its not like normal Autumn nights in Equestria. This night was specially cold. More like BLISTERING cold. unusual for mid October. Its strange enough that it had rainbow dash head into work early this morning. Rarity was going to invite her to lunch with Fluttershy, but The weather factory was having issues."This blasted weather is going to ruin my mane!! UGHH..." Rarity Groaned and whined to herself.
Rarity was constantly worried about her looks. Its really one of those emotional walls that causes her deep horrid depression. She knows this but really doesn't try to do anything about it. She cares so much about her presentation that it controls her life to the highest extent. All her life its been about looks, beauty, glamour. Shes constantly trying to better herself and be the most beautiful in Equestria when its simply impossible. Her friends are under the impression that Rarity does it for herself. So she can feel confident. When actually its a cry for attention. She longs to be noticed
By everypony, and anypony. Rarity is really just an envious soul drowning in a pool of her own self loathing.
"Why is it so cold?!" Rarity chatters in a very pissed off tone as she makes her way to the Library. "I can see the library now. The lights are still on. thank Celestia." Rarity makes her way up to the door and prepares for a knock or two. She hesitates thinking to her slef "Maybe something a little less... Barbaric?" "ohh twiillliiiigghhht? Are you there dearest?" She says in a modest, and overly pollite tone of voice.
The door opens slow at first as a big purple eye peaks through the growing crack of a doorway. The door quickly comes open as Twilight sparkle in her long fuzzy striped socks smiles and says "Rarity what brings you over? Anything
you need?"
"OH Twilight... I need your help..."
"With what? did something happen?!"
"NOO.. Well yes, but.."
"What happened? is everything okay?"
"NO!!"
"WELL WHAT IS IT?!?" Twilight was getting annoyed."
"Its me. I feel so.. well that's just it i can't describe it. well i can but its very strange. I don't like it at all"
"Go on Rarity tell me. I cant help if I don't know whats wrong."
"I feel Hollow, empty almost, and its so very painful.."
"Well have yah tried eatin?" Applejack interrupts.
Applejack was a very good friend to Rarity, Twilight and the other mares, but her and Rarity seemed to have this (I'm your best friend one minute, and You annoy the shit out of me the next) type of relationship. The main reason why Applejack and rarity have this weird relationship is because of Applejack's jealousy. Applejack has been jealous of Rarity since they met. She has always wanted to be as beautiful, and as elegant as Rarity but knows that will never happen. Applejack is simply an envious soul longing to be beautiful.
"Actually Applejack if you must know my problem is more of an EMOTIONAL hollowness. Nothing I'd expect YOU to understand." Rarity said back to applejack in an annoyed, semi-pissed off tone.
"Riiiiiggghht. Y'all have fun with that EMOTIONAL problem."
"What brings you here Applejack?" Twilight asks in an overly cute and friendly way to try and soothe the awkwardly stale, and annoyed conversation. "Well i actually stopped b'aih to ask for some help with tomorrow's harvest. Going to be frost tomorrow morn. We need all the help we can get before they all go bad from exposure."
"I'd be glad to help Applejack I'll stop by in the morning."
"OH thanks sugarcube it means a lot."
Rarity tries to change the subject.
"So Twilight darling Mind if i come in? its really cold out here.."
"Well of course You can Rarity come on in!"
"b'aih y'all" Applejack waves her hoof and trots off.
"Rarity you want a cup of tea?" Rarity was actually feeling a glass of something a little harder would be better.
but she keeps her drinking undercontrol around friends. "Sure I'd love some thank you Twilight darling." She replies to the question. "Your perfectly welcome Rarity. so lest get down to business what seems to be on your mind?"
"Twilight?"
"Yes Rarity?"
"Am I... Really, in all honesty. Beautiful?"
Twilight pauses, and takes a sip from her tea cup. "Well yes Rarity, your lovely. The loveliest, and most well-kept pony in Ponyville." Rarity smiles and also sips off of her own tea almost mimicking Twilight. "Well thank you Twilight, but that's not really what i meant by beautiful." Twilight could see where this was going. She felt her gut fill with feathers. "Well..." Twilight replies.
"Your... Troubled. You have a lot of issues Rarity and it scares me." Rarity's smile quickly went away. "Scares you? what ever do you mean?"
"Rarity... your a sweet and giving person, But your so focused on being perfect that you lose sight of what really matters in our lives. Being beautiful is a definite plus, but do you honestly enjoy your life?" Rarity was speechless. Her tongue swelled up like one of Pinkie's party balloons. "Well of course i.." Rarity pauses, and a tear falls from one of her gorgeous blue eyes. "No, I really don't... I... I hate life." Rarity was finally coming out with her feelings for the first time in her life. Nopony has ever had the chance to crack Rarity's shell like this.
"Rarity..." Twilight holds the sobbing mare close. "Rarity I'm here you can tell me anything. You know that right?" "OHH Twilight... I just want to be so perfect. I want everything to be just how they should be. I just don't want to feel so empty inside, AND it just doesn't help at all that Applejack is constantly just... UGGGHHHHH!!" Rarity stops before she could get any further in the sentence. She really had no reason to feel any harsh feelings towards Applejack. "Applejack is just what?" Twilight asks. "Believe it or not Rarity I've had some pretty intellectual conversations with that mare, and well she admires you so much. She just..." Twilight Stops rambling, and remembers what Applejack talked about the other night was a COMPLETE secret.
"AHHH!!! WHAT ABOUT APPLEJACK?!" Rarity asked. Rarity was annoyed by applejack even though they were friends, mostly because of how Applejack acts so crude, and unsophisticated. Applejack's attitude towards Rarity was mutual but mostly out of jealousy, well 100% out of jealousy. " Twilight i just want to feel better, and not be so Damn stuck on myself. I just want to feel good about myself. I want to not feel so entitled to out do myself, to always be perfect.."
"Well Rarity. As a friend I want to see you, and Applejack get along a little better. Before you can love your friends you have to love yourself." Rarity looked confused for a moment, and then understood. "Well what do you have in mind? What would be a healthy choice to make for myself, and my relationship with Applejack?" We all know that this is just the beginning of our view of Rarity. This mare is on a path to self destruction or even worse. She could end up fucking everything up for her friends, and Equestria would be at the mercy of what ever wants to pillage and rape its beautiful land, and peaceful residents.
"Well... All I can really give for advice is.. well.. Alone time? Do what it is you do, but do it alone to reflect. I'd say a couple days or maybe three days would do the trick." Rarity really had nothing to do for the next week, No orders have been made, and she's been doing nothing for the past 2 days already. What else could she do? "Well what should I do? I can't see any friends that would defeat the purpose of 'ALONE time'. Ughhhh...." Twilight looked at Rarity with this really disappointed, and somewhat remorseful stare. "Rarity I know you smoke... and I know you drink."
Rarity's eyes glued themselves shut. She could feel Twilight's stare stabbing her like a dagger. She just wanted to disappear, to not exist. "HHMMMMMMHH well... yes I do smoke. Its an awful habit. and I drink. on occasion. HOW DOES THIS HELP ME WITH THIS ALONE TIME?!" Rarity was getting really aggressive. She doesn't like the idea of anypony knowing about her habits. "Well... You could do those things? I guess.." Twilight said unsure of how Rarity would react. "DO THOSE THINGS? Twilight do you take me for some scummy low life mule?
"NO!! of course not Rarity... I was just giving you options.. Your really vulnerable right now. I just want you to do something that gives you release. Make a really beautiful dress. or something." Twilight really cares for all of her friends, but Rarity is one friend that Twilight understands the most. Rarity has a lot of issues (OBVIOUSLY) so this makes Twilight sparkle show even more compassion, and understanding. In all of her studies she has learned that showing you care can make a huge difference in how a friend sees you as another friend, and a reliable recourse for venting.
