Story Time with Pinkie and Dash

by sjosten

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life
Length: 1347

Rainbow and Pinkie tell stories to the Crusaders.

When Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are asked to foal-sit the Cutie Mark Crusaders for the afternoon, only Pinkie seems to be particularly happy about it. However, the day will quickly turn into something that is both horrible and wonderful at the same time. Are any of these ponies ready? Probably not, but they're going to do it anyway. This is the story of what happens when you let Pinkie Pie read.

Published 2012-11-16 22:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-16 22:50:01 UTC

Story Time

“Why us Pinkie?” It was a fair question, but Rainbow Dash knew she wouldn’t get an answer. After all, expecting a straight answer from Pinkie Pie was like expecting Applejack to eat a pear. So, while she didn’t agree with it, Rainbow Dash knew she couldn’t argue against helping Pinkie Pie out with her newest “totally not foal-sitting because the Cutie Mark Crusaders are too old for that.” The only problem was, Rainbow had no idea what was going to happen once Pinkie was in control of the fillies.

The three friends showed up soon enough, and looked almost as cautious as Rainbow did. The fact that Pinkie was actually being quiet didn’t help that. So, as Rainbow and the CMC sat at one of Sugar Cube Corner’s tables, they all expected the worst.

“Alright everypony, are you ready for a super duper ally-uper mega fun day?” Pinkie asked with a smile from ear to ear.

“Pinks, you haven’t told me what we’re doing yet.” Dash pointed out.

“Or us.” Applebloom piped in.

“That’s because it’s a surprise silly fillies! Now, who wants to get started?” Pinkie asked.

For some reason, none of Pinkie’s guests seemed too excited about starting.

“Oh come on, you don’t even know what it is yet. I even asked Twilight for help and everything so Rarity and AJ wouldn’t get angry at me for letting you play with dangerously flammable stuff this time.” Pinkie said.

Hearing that, the four mares relaxed a bit. At least now they wouldn’t have to deal with Sgt. Hoofcuffs and another lecture about fire safety.

“Alright Pinkie, what are we doing?” Scootaloo asked.

“I’m glad you asked Scootaloo. We’re going to read!” Pinkie said.

“… Really?” Dash asked.

“Why not? Reading is fun! Don’t you remember that time you were in the hospital, and there was a Daring Do book, and we all got you to read it, and you ended up having to do community service because you tried to steal it?” Pinkie said, not bothering to stop and breathe.

“Y’all tried to steal something?” Applebloom asked.

“No, no I didn’t. I was just… so Pinkie, what book are we going to read?” Dash asked.

“It’s this new one I found called I’m making this up as I go.” Pinkie said.

With that, Pinkie Pie produced a massive book and dropped it on the table. Miraculously, this didn’t break said table. Then Pinkie started leafing through the book.

“Alright, princesses? No. Crystal Empire? No. Horticulture? No. Here we are! Stories that will make foals cry. No wait, Twilight said not to read that one. Ok, I think I found it. Foals’ Fables, that’s the one. Let’s start.
Once Upon a Time there were Three Little Fillies. The first filly liked to ride her scooter, so she built a skate ramp. The second filly wanted to be like her sister, so she lived at home. The third filly was a farmer, so she planted an orchard of apples. One day, a big meanie pants named Discord came along and decided to mess with the fillies. He went to the first filly’s skate ramp and turned it upside down. The first filly was on it, so she ended up in the hospital. Discord went to the second filly’s sister’s house and turned the sister into a nutcase that had a crush on a giant rock. The filly didn’t have anypony to make food, so she went bankrupt eating out. When Discord got to the third filly’s orchard, he was hungry. Since there were so many apples, he decided to eat a whole bunch. He didn’t even need to do anything evil and Discord-y because they were rainbow apples! So, he picked a big apple off of the first tree and took a big bite out of it. Then he exploded because it was a Zap Apple, the end.”
When Pinkie Pie looked up from the book, she realized that the four mares in front of her were in varying states of shock. Rainbow Dash was near the simpler end with her mouth hanging open like when somepony says something dumb, but Sweetie Belle had actually started crying. The other two were somewhere in between. Pinkie Pie started flipping madly through the book trying to find something to try to reconcile.
“Oh gosh, ok, um, how about, no that won’t work. Oh! Here it is! The Sea Pony Genocide! Oh wait, that’s bad. Um, maybe this on? I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it. This one is called Cupcakes! I’m sure it’s nice. Oh. Oh my. That’s not nice at all. Ok, not that one.” Pinkie said.
“Pinks, how about I take this one?” Dash asked.
“Sure Dashy, I’ll keep looking for something.” Pinkie said, only looking up from the colossal book for a moment.
“Ok, girls, let’s do this. One time back in Flight School, Gilda and I were hanging out with a few other mares and heard this story about where rainbows come from. No Pinkie, it’s the nice one. Anyway, back before the princesses were around, but after the first Hearth’s Warming, pegasi had pretty much full control of the skies. The problem was, there were griffons trying to come into our territory. Now, Commander Lightning Dash wasn’t going to put up with this, so she sent out her best fighters to stop them. There was Sunny, Rainy, and Color Blaze, the unicorn.”
“Why did only one the unicorn have a full name?” Applebloom asked.
“Because she did, don’t interrupt. Anyway, Sunny was the fastest, so she flew out there first. When she got to the griffons, they were all just behind the border. So, Sunny started flying back and forth along the border to make sure no griffons were trying to cross. Rainy got there next, and she started flying with Sunny. Together, their trails made a big beam of light with lots of water droplets in it. When Color Blaze finally got there, Sunny and Rainy were getting tired. Color Blaze cast a spell on the beam of light so that it would stay there without the pegasi flying. Sunny and Rainy landed, and Color Blaze started the next part of her spell. To disguise the fact that the pegasi weren’t in the beam, she made it really colorful and bright so that the griffons couldn’t see right into it. Now, pegasi make rainbows to honor the three warriors who protected us from the griffons.”
Dash looked around and saw that the CMC and Pinkie were all staring at her. They kind of reminded Dash of herself at a Wonderbolts show.
“So does that mean that there’s still a big rainbow between us and the griffons?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Well, no. There was a bunch of political stuff and they had to take down that rainbow. They kept part of it though, and I saw it at the Royal Museum in Canterlot.” Dash said.
“That’s so cool! Can we go to Canterlot now Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo asked.
“Scoots, can’t you ask your parents?” Dash asked.
“Well,” Scootaloo began.
“There’s a thousands of years old rainbow piece in Canterlot? Why didn’t Ms. Cheerilee tell us about it?” Applebloom asked.
“I wanted to ask her about that, but she just started laughing and tried to give me a lecture about the difference between the library’s reference section and the fiction section. I think she was just trying to change the subject so that she wouldn’t have to talk about her incomplete history course.” Dash said.
The rest of the afternoon turned into conspiracy theories about Cheerilee and Commander Hurricane, and nothing actually got done for hours. By the time Rarity and Applejack came to pick up their sisters, the CMC were trying to interrogate Gummy to find out if he was “in on it.” Barring the long discussions that would have to follow about how Rainbow Dash isn’t a history teacher for a reason, the day was absolutely perfect. However, Sweetie Belle still won’t go near the Discord statue whenever they go to Canterlot.