Dark Crusade

Everypony thinks about life after death, heck when my parents... moved on... I liked to think that they were all around me, you know? Dad would be the morning sun getting me up for another adventure, and Mom would be the moon and stars keeping the bad things from ruining my dreams. But that’s the kind of thing a scared little filly makes up for herself when she’s not ready to let go of somepony she cares for.

I’m older now, and I don’t need to make excuses anymore, I’ve seen what life has to offer and I know that I have to enjoy it before it all ends... But with what’s happened to my friend recently, I’ve started to wonder about these things again.

I guess I’m getting ahead of myself here. My friend, Apple Bloom, she made it! Thank god. She looks different now of course, her coat has more of an ash grey color on the left, her eye’s got this gnarly blood stain around the iris that won’t go away, and the scars are everywhere. Deep down though, I can tell she’s the same Apple Bloom from before the explosion.

Which is why I’ve been avoiding her, I guess. I mean don’t get me wrong I love her like a sister, but, after me and Sweetie got our marks, things between the three of us... changed. Me and Sweetie started doing our own thing and Apple Bloom-.

We weren’t very good friends to her, and she got hurt because of it. Not a day goes by that I’m not reminded of how I failed her. The worst part is I think she knows this. She’s even more distant now than I... than I was to her before the incident.

I’m sorry, it’s getting cold out here by the lake and I have to get back to my place before there are too many eyes on me.

“Scootaloo?” a raspy southern voice calls from behind me. I shuffle my hooves anxiously, a little shocked to see my friend. She looks like she wants to say something important, but can’t find the right words.

“Oh, hey.” Why is she here, its a good thirty minutes out of her way. “What brings you here? You aren’t stalking me are you?” I chuckle.

“Yes,” she deadpans. I feel a nervous look shoot across my face as I wonder why she’s here even more.

“It was a joke,” she smiles, moving a little closer to me, “Ah jus’ thought we could um, yah know, hangout like we used tah.”

“Well, I don’t know,” I say eyeing the setting sun, “It’s getting pretty late.”

“Oh.” A look of hurt falls onto her face as she adjusts a scarf around her neck. “Okay, maybe some other time then.”

As she turns, I can feel the same pain I felt when I saw her burning body in the snow. I can’t just let her go, not like this.

“Wait!” I call as she turns away, “Look, it’s late, but I’m sure your folks wouldn’t mind if you kept me some company tonight. We could stay up late and just catch up, and uh- my Mom can make us some warm apple cider with those Granny Smiths your sister gave us yesterday!”

The yellow and black filly turns to me, giving me a nod. A half smile comes to my face as I walk up next her.

“Besides, I don’t think Applejack would want you walking outside on a cold night like tonight.” I say giving her a playful nudge.

“Yer probably right. ‘N ‘sides Ah cain’t wait tah see yer Ma and Pa.” I keep a smile on my face, but worry fills into my heart as she says that. I am taking a huge risk here. Nopony, not even Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell, has seen my place, because nopony, not even me, knows what happened to my parents.

I never knew what they did honestly, but it must have been important. Everywhere they would go ponies would just give them stuff and thank them for this or that. It felt so good knowing that the two ponies who cared the most about me did so much for others. I had always assumed that nopony could have hated them, but... I was wrong.

One of my favorite things to wake up to was the smell of my Dad’s home cooked breakfast and my Mom singing in the new day. One day I woke up to the smell of smoke, and screaming. I opened my eyes to see my home consumed by flames as I find myself in the bushes. Ponies were everywhere trying to put out the flames, but it was too late to save anything but ashes.

The record says that on that night a filly and a mare died in a blaze started by an abusive colt. Though the story was untrue, ponies began to accept it, and whether out of fear or necessity, it forced me assume a new identity and take care of myself.

Since then, I’ve been squatting in a little shack on the outskirts of town.

It’s nothing to brag about; it’s probably as big as an small apartment without lights or running water. I have to collect wood to keep me warm in the winter, and haul water from the creek. Not mentioning that I have to “borrow” food when I’m hungry. But that little shack is mine, and, well, that means something.

Bringing visitors just means having to explain why the lights don’t work and the toilet doesn’t fill up when you flush it. I worked hard to make that place my own, and somepony finding out about my situation would mean giving up my freedom.

But then again, Apple Bloom’s a friend, I can trust her, and besides, if she doesn’t get too curious, I can actually enjoy a fire with somepony besides Fillyoder Dostoyevsky or Hoofingway.

“Yah know Scoot’s,” Apple Bloom says with some excitement as we reach my house, “I don’t think Ah’ve ever been tah yer place before.”

“I don’t usually have visitors,” I answer, “It's usually pretty crowded with just me and my folks, so I never saw the point of inviting people over.”

“Well yah should, it looks down right cosy.”

“Gee thanks.” I say stroking my mane, a little embarrassed. Whether it’s good or bad, Apple Bloom always has a knack for making things seem bigger than they really are. Glancing at the sun, I judge that there’s just enough time to get her inside without her asking too many questions about why the lights aren’t on yet.

“Say, why don’t you go draw some water while I get the fire started?” I offer pointing at the hand pump water well by side of the house.

“Sure thing, Scoots.”

Grabbing a box of matches and some newspaper, I set to getting the fire started in the hearth. In a few moments, the room is illuminated with the cheery flicker of the flames. I stare at it for a few moments as warm memories wash over me.

“Got the water,” Apple Bloom states, stealing me from my daydream.

“Oh good,” I say grabbing a teapot with the extra long handle that I had fashioned for preparing meals. Scooping some water out of the bucket I place some apple slices, cinnamon and sugar into the pot and set the brew to cook.

“So lets catch up a-” I notice my friend staring at the fire intently, and a feeling of guilt catches me, “Oh geez, um... sorry, I can get some lamps and blankets instead if you like.”

“Nah that’s alright, Ah think its the perfect thing fer a night like tonight.” A warm smile sets me at ease as I settle down next to Apple Bloom by the fire.

For a minute or two, I feel like I’m home for the first time in a while. Not in the sense that I’m in the place where I live when I’m not at school or with my friends. No, right now felt like that time when family is over, and you can feel the life of another pony in the room.

Unfortunately, the feeling disappears as the fire brings back the memories of that day. I glance at Apple Bloom. An odd look has taken over her face, not quite anger or sadness, but it’s certainly not happy.

In the firelight, she almost looks normal as she looks back at me; the good side of her face the only part revealed by the fire.

“Um... Apple Bloom, a-about that day at the farm...” Part of me almost expected her to look away, but she holds my gaze. I turn instead as feelings of guilt and shame surface in my head.

“I know what I did- what we did, to you was wrong and I’m...” I look back up to meet my friends gaze. It’s a look of somepony trying to restrain a sadness that is clawing at them.

“Sorry,” I finally manage as I return my gaze to the fire.

“Why did y’all leave me?” Her voice cracks like the burning wood. I turn to her, shocked by the accusation.

“We didn’t leave you Apple Bloom, we were there to save you. Remember? We’re your-”

“That’s not what I meant!” Apple Bloom booms slamming a hoof on to the floor. I recoil a bit at the agitated earth pony.

“Of all the ponies Ah know, Ah thought y’all would be the mos’ understandin’  o’ what happened. That y’all would be there fer me!” Confusion and pain twist her expression into something akin to rage. I try to put a hoof on her shoulder but stop short.

“Don’ touch me.” Her eyes burn like the flames in the hearth as she glares at me.

“Apple Bloom,” I begin with a worried smile, “I didn’t mean to leave you, I-I was the one who went to get your sister. Remember?” I gingerly place my hoof on the ground.

Apple Bloom’s expression grows colder and colder as the seconds pass by. It almost seems like the light in the room is running away, seeking the relative warmth of outside.

I back away from my friend as her eyes narrow on me.

“Ah want tah know somethin’, Scootaloo,” she stated flatly her glare not easing in the slightest, “Why do you abandon the ponies you love?” My face burns as a white hot fury consumes me.

“How dare you! I came back for you! I was the one who stood up for you! I am your best friend! Did you forget that? Did that explosion make you lose your sense! Is that it?!” I bark at my friend. “You would still be whimpering in the corner because you can’t stand on your own four hooves!”

I cover my mouth as I realize what I had just said. Apple Bloom’s eyes were welling up with tears as a look of pure hate took over her face.

“Apple Bloom I am so sorry! I-I didn’t mean that... I-it was a mistake.” I close my forehooves around her.

“I was upset, I-”

“Do you know what it’s like tah be dead?” My embrace loosens as my friend’s tone becomes darker.

“Do yah know what it’s like tah be somethin’ and nothin’, all at once?”

“Yeah, yeah... when my folks died I-”

“Hush! Y’all ain’t got the slightest clue what its like to have one o’ the only ponies tah ever care ‘bout yah jus’ abandon yah when she gets her cutie mark. Y’all don’ know what it’s like tah watch yer friends, day, after day, after day, after motherfukin’ day, avoid you like yah weren’t good enough fer them.”

I back away from Apple Bloom as the words hit me. Shock, shame, sadness, they all wash over me as I search for an explanation for my actions.

“Apple Bloom, I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”

“‘Cause yah didn’ care jus’ like when yer folks died.”

I look up in shock, Apple Bloom’s dark smile emanating from near perfect darkness,  greeting my now tear-filled eyes.

“How did you know?” Her smile broadens into an insane grin.

“Cause they tol’ me everthin’. They even tol’ me when yah stopped believin’ in them.”

“I-I-I, couldn’t catch her, I ran after her into the blizzard, but I just couldn’t catch her!” Scootaloo was on the verge of hysteria as she explained what had happened at her home.

“She knew things, Sweetie Belle! She-she talked to my parents. She even knew when I stopped believing in spirits. She even knows that I don’t think the princesses are gods.”

I try to calm the trembling filly as she paces the floor.

“Scootaloo, you need to calm down, you’re not making any sense.” Her paranoid, confused eyes lock with mine. The feeling of dread and fear overcome me, but I beat it down for the sake of my friend.

“Now it’s going to be okay, Scootaloo, just tell me what we need to do.” A manic smile appears on my friends face.

“That’s the best part! You and me, we bare the same taint! But don’t worry,” an insane chuckle escaping her, “We can get rid of it! We can be clean again!”