The F-Bomb

by Samsara

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 5445

Everyone's Favorite Fillies Find a Fun way to expand their vocabulary.

The 'F' stands for 'Friendship'… Gosh, what were you thinking? But seriously: After hearing a certain pegasus say a word that she's never heard before, Scootaloo goes to the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to 'expand their vocabulary' if you will. How will the citizens of Ponyville react to such language? Especially when the Crusaders' older sisters hear about it. (Rated Teen because even though there's no gore or sex involved, there is definitely foul language.)

By the by, this little abomination has been in my own personal development hell since January 7th, so you'll accept my apologies if it's not quite up to par with my other stories (feel free to draw parallels with Duke Nukem Forever, without the famous franchise or hyped-up expectations). I just wanted to make something goofy and never got around to finishing it until recently.

As always, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and all affiliated characters therein are owned entirely by Hasbro, and not me. The fanfictions I create are meant to be taken for entertainment value only and are not in any way making me money. Seriously, I'm broke, and making these doesn't help me with that… I should sue Hasbro for inspiring me to waste my money-making time… But that's neither here nor there. The opinions expressed are most likely my own, but not necessarily, and (being unaffiliated with Hasbro in any way, as I am) are therefore not necessarily the opinions of Hasbro as a whole nor the employees that flesh it out, except perhaps by wild coincidence, to which I have no prior knowledge. No copyright infringement, and no slander. Kumbaya, Hasbro, Kumbaya.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-02 07:04:01 UTC

Spread the Word

Rainbow Dash grits her teeth and clenches her eyes shut, flapping her wings as hard as she can to ascend in the thin air far above Ponyville.  She can feel her speed drop as she moves herself vertically, flying straight up toward the sun until her feathers don't even ruffle with the flapping anymore.  She can hardly breathe, but knows how to combat altitude sickness by controlling the depth and speed of her breaths.  She moves her forelegs out to her sides, leaning back and letting her wings go limp behind her, falling toward the waiting earth beneath.  For a split second she feels the entire world go into slow motion: the warmth of the sun gently caresses the front of her body with no clouds above her, but the chilled air gives the familiar frigid sensation on her skin.  At the peak of this slow-motion-sensation she can feel her head dip below her legs in orientation, sending her plummeting toward the ground.

The rush of air is an exhilarating feeling, slowly building and taking up her hearing.  Eyes still closed, she determines her altitude as the air pressure rises, having driven herself to become sensitive to atmospheric changes from numerous trials of this very trick.  This is an adrenaline junky's ultimate high: falling from the very highest physical altitude toward the waiting streets below with your eyes closed.  Rainbow takes one deep breath, judging her altitude relatively accurately as she snaps open her eyes and splays out her forelegs and hind legs, catching the air with her body to slow down just a little bit.  She observes the world from her heavenly position: seeing the clouds rush past her and the horizon curve off into unknown lands beyond the forests and mountains.

She watches as the town comes up to greet her, the weightlessness in her stomach so common that she almost loves it.  Her wings snap open, catching the air and lifting the pegasus against the forces of gravity: fighting against the pull of the entire planet beneath her.  She never feels more alive than at these routine moments, steering her flight forward and picking up speed, leaving a dense  rainbow trail behind her.  The constant air pummeling at her eyes causes tears to form, and yet she's unable to think of anything that could possibly make her feel sad.  The familiar mach-cone forms around her body, slowly decreasing in diameter as her hooves extend before her, she synchronizes her wings to cause her to corkscrew, spinning three-hundred and sixty degrees as soon as the "Sonic Rainboom" hits.  The sky explodes in a thunderclap, sending the spiraling pegasus hurling forward at terminal velocity.  She's lost in a euphoric sensation, so lost in fact, that she forgets to look up.

Just as it's too late to slow down, Rainbow Dash glances forward and sees a very large tree ahead of her, having only enough time to think to herself "oh shi--" before the impact.  She reels back, trying to slow down, but hits her chest directly against the upper portion of the trunk, unable to stop her legs from continuing forward and almost wrapping around the tree.  The thing bends in a deep arc from her inertia, bringing her (and the upper portion of the tree) almost parallel with the ground before pausing.  The pegasus opens her eyes, cheek pressed against a very uncomfortable piece of bark and almost breathless from the impact, watching her world rotate nauseatingly as the tree corrects its own orientation with the ground.  This tree catapults Rainbow Dash back in the direction of Ponyville, though entirely against her abilities to control herself.  Her wings are caught by the wind in the wrong direction, causing her to fall in a predictable ballistic arc toward the bustling town beneath her.  She's going surprisingly fast, staying aloft over Ponyville's town square and watching a very familiar barn come into view.  She tries to correct herself, but only ends up flailing around and causing her body to pitch and yaw, so she curls into a ball and yells, hoping the impact doesn't leave her stranded on the roof of the Apple Family barn again.  She manages to make herself just small enough to fit through a tiny window in the side of the barn, sending her inside and crashing into several large piles of hay.  She leaves holes in the first few where she traveled right through, but comes to a rolling stop (aided by the wall) inside the final one.

"Ugh...  Fuck my life..."  Rainbow exclaims as she rises her head out of the hay bail, rubbing the top of it where she impacted with the wall.

"Huh?"  A familiar voice teases Rainbow Dash's ears as she looks around, seeing the short purple mane of Scootaloo just a few feet away from her.  "Woah... where'd you come from Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow shakes her head a few times, trying to rid herself of this pestering dizzy sensation that continues to throw her balance off.  Anypony with any kind of athletic experience would be able to tell that she's concussed.  "Careful what you wish for."  Rainbow says, trying to play it cool around her number-one-fan despite the injury.

"Are you okay?  That looked like it hurt."

"Nah, I'm fine, Scoots.  Takes more than a tree and a barn to hurt the Iron Pony!"  She stands up and pats her chest with her hoof to dramatize the situation, though realizes that pounding her sore chest and standing up straight after a slight head injury wasn't a great idea.  She feels her stomach sink and all of the color drain from her face, and so lets Scootaloo know that she needs to leave.  Rainbow runs out the door, still dizzy, and nearly crashing into the door frame on the way out.  The filly just sits there and watches as her hero runs out the door ready to throw up.

"Hmm...  I wonder what 'fuck my life' means."  Scootaloo asks herself and rubs her chin with her hoof, greeting Applebloom with a wave as she steps in to replace the very sick-looking Rainbow Dash.

"What was she doing here?"  Applebloom drops off a very small bail of hay on the floor of the barn, continuing in her minimal duties as the youngest member of a farming family.

"Oh, she just dropped in to say hello...  By the way I'm gonna head over to the clubhouse real quick, you comin'?"

"Wull I gotta get some more hay into the barn, then probably help Applejack pick up some scrapped apples for a little while, but I'll head over as soon as I can."

"Alright then, I'll see ya soon."  Scootaloo didn't bring her scooter this time and so simply walks out the door, waving at Apple Bloom before getting a brisk trotting pace into the woods.

"What does what mean?"  Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo sit together in the Cutie Mark Crusaders' clubhouse discussing this new development of language.

"'Fuck my life'.  Rainbow Dash said it, do you have any idea what it even could mean?"

"Well I know what 'my' and 'life' mean...  But I dunno what 'fuck' means... It sounds a little bit like 'buck' though, do you think it has anything to do with bouncing up and down?"

"Do I look like a dictionary to you?"

"No, you look more like a chicken!"

"I thought we agreed to let that go..."

"You're right, you're right.  I'm sorry... Couldn't resist."

"Just go get your dictionary so we can look it up would ya?"

"Fine, fine..."  Sweetie Belle trots over to the small bookshelf and struggles to reach for the dictionary.  The fillies are always too short for this, but somehow the books seem to always get onto shelves just out of their reach.  After a short session of stretching on the very tips of her hooves, Sweetie Belle manages to tug the dictionary down, nearly falling in the process.  The white filly drops the large book onto their makeshift table and clumsily opens it halfway.  With some page-flipping (as well as several shifts in directions as knowledge of the alphabet escapes the two of them) they end up in the "F" section of the dictionary.

"See it yet?"  Scootaloo sits back and rocks impatiently, eager to learn what kind of awesome language Rainbow Dash had accidentally imparted onto the young pegasus.

"No, not yet... you sure it starts with an "F"?  and not "ph" or something like that?"

"Well I don't really know, but it seems like such a simple word to me..."

"Alright... We'll keep looking under "F" for a while and try "P" if that doesn't work."

"Hey there you two.  What're y'all doin'?"  Apple Bloom steps inside the doorway and notices the two of them hovering over an open dictionary.

"We're just trying to look up a word."  Scootaloo answers her but does so in a completely deadpan manner.

"What word?"

"Fuck."  Sweetie Belle answers, scanning over the pages of her dictionary with the tip of her hoof.

"Never heard of it...  Is it like 'buck'?"  Apple Bloom lacks any knowledge of the word, just like her friends.

"That's what we thought too, but we're not sure."

"Aha!  Here it is.  "Fuck"  Slang verb: to engage in coitus with."  Sweetie Belle slowly reads the definition aloud to the rest of them.  "Also may be used as a noun, such as: 'you stupid fuck' or as an interjection such as, 'oh fuck'."

"Huh... so you can say it about a lot of things?"  Scootaloo sits enthralled by the versatility of this new word, wondering why nopony else says it.

"Yeah, apparently it can be a noun, verb, adjective, even an adverb sometimes...  It's like something you say if you have nothing else to say."

"Wull what does 'coitus' mean?"  Apple Bloom focuses on trying to piece together a real-world application in her head, though luckily for her the innocence of the trio remains somewhat in tact.

"I dunno...  Can't be too interesting though, besides if it's not being used as a verb then that isn't even important."

"I guess you're right, we can look it up later."

"So what the fuck do we do with this?"  Scootaloo tests out her new vocabulary, finding (to a disturbing degree) that it comes completely naturally to her.

"I dunno, but I feel a whole fuck of a lot smarter now."  Sweetie Belle joins into the commotion, crossing the line of effective usage of this new word.

"That sounded kinda fuckin' silly, Sweetie Belle."  Apple Bloom confidently states with pride in her voice.

"Yeah...  I guess it'll take some practice to get it right."

"Probably, but hey gals I gotta get home, It looks like the family's gonna be gettin' ready for dinner kinda soon and I'll bet Granny Smith wants my help."

"Alright, Apple Bloom, I should be gettin' home soon too.  Rarity doesn't like it when I stay out too late.  Do you have someplace to go tonight Scootaloo?"

"Of course I do!  Why does everypony think I'm homeless?"

"Wull...  It's just that nopony in town knows who your parents are... or any siblings either."

"That sounds like their problem, not mine."

"Fine, fine...  Don't get so fucking testy."

"Now you're gettin' it, Sweetie Belle!"  Apple Bloom calls from the doorway to the clubhouse.

"Thank you!"

"Just go you two, I'm gonna stay here for a little bit longer.  I've got some things I wanna... look up... do... that kinda stuff."

"Alright, Scootaloo, get home safe whenever it is you do!"  Sweetie Belle follows Apple Bloom to the door and joins her in looking back toward Scootaloo.

"Thanks, I will."

The two ponies leave the clubhouse side by side, parting ways halfway down the road toward their respective homes.  Scootaloo watches out the window until she's absolutely sure that they've left, and then pulls a small sleeping bag and pillow along with several overused school supplies out of a hidden compartment in the ceiling of the clubhouse.  She glances around and begins doing her homework, sitting down in the sleeping bag that desperately needs to be washed and making herself comfortable.  "Families are overrated anyway."

Apple Bloom steps out toward her home, saying goodbye to Sweetie Belle who quickly trots away in the opposite direction.  The filly simply hums and skips toward the welcoming building, happily opening the door to see her family already setting the table for dinner.  Big Macintosh lazily holds a glass of water in his teeth and slowly drinks from it.

"Hey there Apple Bloom, have fun with your friends?"  Applejack calls out to the pony as she finishes setting the table for a proper family meal.

"Wull sure I did, sis.  I always have a great time with my friends."  Apple Bloom happily responds and trots over to the table to join the rest of the ponies sitting there.

"Always happy to hear it.  Y'all any closer to gettin' your cutie marks?"

"No leads yet...  Honestly it feels like I'm never gonna get that fuckin' thing."  With this, Macintosh spits every last drop of water out onto the table in surprise.  The glass goes clattering over the table and, luckily, doesn't break.  Applejack's jaw nearly hits the floor and Granny Smith is forced to cock her head and look over at the filly.  Everything goes uncomfortably silent and, being as innocent as she is, Apple Bloom has no idea why.

"I really hope my hearin's goin' south and I didn't just hear what I think I heard..."  Granny Smith slowly turns her head to look between Applejack and Apple Bloom.  Big Macintosh is speechless and proceeds to cough up the water that he accidentally inhaled.

"Apple Bloom!  Where in the Princess's name did you hear that?"

"Where'd I hear what?"

"The 'F-word' that you just said at the dinner table... In front of your own granny!"

"Oh... I heard it from Scootaloo."

"Well where did she hear it?"

"Fuck if I know..."

"That's it!  Upstairs, right now!"  Applejack points her hoof up the staircase and glares at Apple Bloom, causing her to slowly slink up the stairs with her head hung low, still unsure of what exactly she'd done wrong.

"Rarity!  I'm home!"  Sweetie Belle steps in through the back door to the Boutique, a habit she had picked up after Rarity told her that she needed to keep from walking through the store portion to avoid bothering customers.  The filly glances around, trying to find her sister, but can't make anything out in the dimly lit interior.  A giggle catches her hearing and prompts her to investigate.

"So, Miss Rarity, after all of that is there still absolutely no way I could get a... 'special discount' on that dress for my sweetheart?"  Some unknown stallion speaks to Sweetie Belle's older sister in an uncomfortably sensual voice, though Rarity herself doesn't seem too bothered by it.

"Oh, Beau...  You don't seem to understand how this works.  I should be charging you extra just to keep my gorgeous little mouth shut.  Be happy I'm generous enough to charge normal price."

"Well, I do suppose I should be happy that I'm getting all of this for free..."  This statement is followed up by a very 'happy' giggle from Rarity.  Sweetie Belle can hear this conversation more and more clearly as she slowly approaches her sister's bedroom door.

"Puh-lease, Beau.  If I were charging you, you wouldn't be able to afford it."

"You're so mean to me...  Why is it that I keep coming back?"

"Enduring a small level of cruelty is a small price to pay for receiving perfection...  Plus: you love the abuse."

"Oh I so do..."

"What the fuck are you two doin' in there?"  Sweetie Belle chimes in as she pokes her muzzle into the crack of the very slightly askew door.

A very surprised squeal resounds from the room as well as a massive thud, giving Sweetie Belle the impression that Rarity has fallen out of her bed.

"Sweetie Belle!  What is wrong with you?  Don't you know to knock?!"  The anger in Rarity's voice is as clear and unhindered as the terror in her suitor's, making Sweetie Belle both laugh and quiver inside from the upcoming punishment.  "A-an-and who the hay taught you that kind of language!?"

"Wull, Scootaloo said that--"

"And where did Scoot-a-loo get it from, hmm?"  As Rarity became more and more inquisitive her pronunciation followed into a horribly obnoxious emphasis on certain syllables.

"I uhm... I was just gonna--"  Once more, Sweetie Belle is interrupted, but this time by a very embarrassed stallion running from the room with one of Rarity's bed sheets barely covering his body.

"Oh!  Beau! please come back!"  Rarity casts Sweetie Belle a very nasty glance before breaking off running after the fleeing stud.  The young filly simply has no idea what to think and sits in a bewilderment, blinking a few times and glancing into the bedroom.  Her gaze is broken by a white leg stomping in front of her, causing the filly to fall back on her haunches and look up at a very annoyed, purple-maned unicorn.  "You are in so much trouble."

"Alright young filly...  You ready to do some good clean talkin'?"  Applejack paces around in the upstairs bathroom, keeping a very stern look on her face as she addresses Apple Bloom in her humiliated state.  The red-maned filly solemnly slouches over, sitting on the edge of the bathtub with a very large bar of soap stuck in her mouth.

After a sufficient nod from Apple Bloom, the larger earth pony removes the bar of soap and drops it roughly into the sink.  Apple Bloom responds in kind by shaking her head side to side and trying desperately to get the awful taste out of her mouth.

"Plegh!  I said I was sorry AJ.  Why'd you go an' take me up here?"

"Because somepony was downstairs sayin' the "F-Word" in front of her own Granny!  D'you know how awful that is?"

Apple Bloom tilts her head down sorrowfully, but sincerely thinks about the answer to her big sister's question.  "Wull...  No I don't.  What's that word mean?"

"Ehm... Never mind what it means, just don't ever say it in polite company...  Or at all, for that matter."

"But why not?  It's just a word..."

"It may be just a word, but some words are very bad and are only fit for uncivilized ponies.  In the Apple Family, we don't use filthy language like that in front of anypony, so you'd best forget you ever heard it!"

"Okay sis..."  Apple Bloom says with a meek and tiny voice, turning to look down at the floor instead of at her Sister.

"What was that?"  Applejack's stern and motherly tone ends up bringing the little pony's eyes back into contact with her own.

"I promise I'll stop sayin' it, sis."

"Good.  Now, where did you hear it first?"

"Scootaloo said it, iunno where she got it from."

"That's okay, I'll find out."  Applejack reaches into the sink as she finishes up, grabbing the bar of soap, rinsing it off, and then forcefully replacing it in the filly's mouth before stepping out of the bathroom.  "Now you sit there until that filthy mouth o' yers is all clean!"

"No, no, no, no, no.  This simply will not do!"  Rarity stands hunched over her kitchen sink, keeping a hoof placed on the very center of Sweetie Belle's back and holding her head down into the steel sink.  "I'll not have any baby sister of mine saying such uncouth things!  Not only that, but not respecting somepony else's privacy either.  Despicable!"

Sweetie Belle, in a most unfortunate turn, holds as still as she can whilst her sister holds her head sideways in the sink and brushes her teeth against her will.  Rarity pulls the levitating toothbrush out of her mouth and lets her sit up a bit, ordering her to rinse.  The filly does so, and just as she's about to explain herself, has her mouth held open and inspected by her older sister.

"Mmn, I'm afraid you've still got some filth in there, back down, Sweetie Belle."

"Did you have to use dish soap?!"  Just as Sweetie Belle finishes her question, Rarity once again forces her head into the sink and replaces the toothbrush, viciously scrubbing at her teeth with (thankfully non-toxic) soap and a soft brush.

"Why yes, yes I did, and I'll tell you why.  Toothpaste is for keeping your breath fresh and your teeth strong, as well as cleaning your teeth of food and other nasty things that get in there naturally.  Dish Soap is for getting disgusting, grimy filth off of things that are supposed to be clean, and if the "F-Word" is going to be coming out of your mouth then I'm afraid I'll have to treat it as a disgusting, grimy, and filthy thing."  In response, Sweetie Belle just gives a horribly uncomfortable groan.

Once the "longest-fifteen-minutes-of-her-life" (as Sweetie Belle would have called it) is over, Sweetie Belle is ordered to sit down across from Rarity at the dining room table.  Her mouth feels as though it was sterilized by some professional detailing company, and the filly can't stop running her tongue across her glassy smooth teeth.

"So, Sweetie Belle, pray tell where you learned that ghastly language."  Rarity's demeanor is calm and collected, but the filly had been living with her long enough to see through her guise and pick out the extremely aggressive tone in her voice.

"Scootaloo said it...  I don't know where she got it from, I swear."

Rarity simply sits and stares at Sweetie Belle, cocking her head from side to side to scan for any signs of lying.  After she's satisfied, Rarity pushes herself away from the table and stands up.  She takes a deep breath and trots over by Sweetie Belle's side, ruffling her mane gently with her hoof.  "A lady, Sweetie Belle, does not say things like that.  That kind of language is unbecoming, unpleasant, and down-right unworthy of being uttered by the likes of you and me.  Even the dregs in Manehattan don't use language like that as freely as you were.  So you're going to stop, immediately, are we understood?"

"Yes, Rarity."

"Good.  I don't want to have to do that again, but I will if I have to."

"No, please!  I promise I won't say that word ever again."

Rarity simply smiles and sits down on the floor, looking her sister in the eyes as the filly stays put in her chair.  "There's a good girl.  So, where does Scootaloo live?  I'll need to inform her parents, or big sister, or whomever about her conduct."

"I don't know where she lives..."

"You don't know where Scootaloo lives?  Aren't you friends with her?"

"Wull yeah, but we've never gone over to her house or nothin'.  She always wants to play with us instead."

"Hmm...  Maybe your little friend Apple Bloom knows."

"Worth a shot, I'd say..."

"Well, I must be off!  You stay here and think about what you said, I'll be back to check on you soon."

Rarity trots out the front door with a flick of her mane, taking off with the setting sun at her back, trying to quickly go toward Sweet Apple Acres before it gets too late.  By the time she makes it to their front door, the family is busy cleaning up their dishes from dinner (Apple Bloom had been invited back down to finish up with the rest of them after an apology).  Applejack excuses herself to answer the door, and finds herself a little surprised to see Rarity standing there at such an hour.

"Wull howdy, Rarity.  What brings you over here?"

"Actually I wanted to know if you had any idea where Scootaloo lived.  Apparently Sweetie Belle heard some naughty word from her and I think we need to nip this little problem in the bud while we can."

"Sweetie Belle too, huh?  Apple Bloom's been having that same problem...  Hasn't she?"  Applejack looks over her shoulder and immediately targets the filly, who shrinks away from her prying gaze and continues to dry off the dishes given to her by Big Macintosh.

"I take it you took care of your little problem?"  Rarity had to hide her obvious amusement at the idea of Applejack punishing Apple Bloom for saying the F-word.

"That I did.  Washed her mouth out with a bar of soap actually.  If she ever says that again I'll do it again for twice as long."

"Effective!  So I guess you know they heard it from Scootaloo then?"

"I sure do, Apple Bloom doesn't know where she lives, but she said that she last saw her at their little clubhouse.  You're welcome to join me if you like."

"Well I did come all the way out here to find her.  I suppose a trek through your orchard wouldn't do any harm."

"Don't worry, Rarity.  If you get any leaves in your hair I'll get 'em out for ya."  Applejack chuckles a little bit as she says this, pushing past the unicorn and trotting off toward the direction of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' clubhouse.  Rarity doesn't stray too far behind, though does have to suppress her frustration at the subtle insult.

Scootaloo readies herself for bed, having packed up all of her things for school the next day and set everything aside for her to sleep.  Just as she lays down, however, a set of hoofsteps comes up the ramp toward the door to the clubhouse and the little pegasus freezes.  Somepony knocks three times and then addresses the darkness.

"Is there anypony in there?  Scootaloo?"  Scootaloo recognizes the voice as Applejack's, but still doesn't act immediately.  Eventually, Applejack just pushes the doorway open (making the filly regret not running and hiding when she had the chance) and steps inside with Rarity at her back kicking dirt off of her hooves.

"Uhm... Hi Applejack... a-and Rarity."  Scootaloo says in a meek voice, looking up at them with a tinge of blush on her cheeks as they spot her supplies.

"Darling, are you sleeping in here?"  Rarity pushes in and casts a little light out into the room with her magic, seeing everything that Scootaloo had worked so hard to hide from anypony at all.

"Uhm...  Y-yeah...  I was just camping out."

"Aren't your parents worried?"  Applejack steps inside and moves to sit by Scootaloo, trying to talk gently to the obviously distraught filly.

"I don't know...  I don't have any idea where they are.  They fuckin' left me in Ponyville when I was little and forgot about me I guess."

"Mmn, well that brings us to another point.  That word, the uhm, "F-word" if you will...  Where did you hear it?"  Rarity tries her best to extract the information while still being sensitive to the filly.  Not doing a very good job, of course.

"Oh... I picked it up from Rainbow Dash...  She said it after she crashed through Applejack's barn today."

"Why that awful--...  Ah well, don't worry about a thing, Scootaloo.  Listen, if you need a place to stay, we've got us a guest room back at the home, why don't you join us?  It'll be a lot warmer than this place."

"Alright..."

"We'll give you a minute to pack everything up, darling."  Rarity nudges Applejack after her comment and steps out of the clubhouse.  She turns her back on the door and beckons AJ to do the same, speaking quietly and lowly to her.  "Can you believe that?"

"I know...  It's mighty troublin' to know that a child could be just left here by her parents.  S'messed up if ya ask me."

"Well, yeah, that... but also the fact that she learned that foul language from Rainbow Dash!"

"Rarity, of the six of us, who do you think is most likely to have taught her that?  Is it really that big a surprise?"

"I guess not...  But still, we shouldn't let it go unpunished."

"Yeah, well we've got something a little more important to deal with here.  I personally don't see any issue with letting her stay with me, we've got some room and she and Apple Bloom are good friends."

"So long as you can deal with having more than one little filly in your house, I won't argue with you there.  You certainly are great with kids, Applejack."

"Hmm...  Actually, I have an idea.  Go get Sweetie Belle and we'll have a sleepover.  We can all get up early and go show the fillies what happens to ponies who use bad language."

Rarity immediately catches Applejack's drift and uses her back hoof to knock on the door.  "All ready to go, sweetheart?"  To which a moist-eyed Scootaloo emerges and nods her head.

Applejack and Rarity part ways there, with the white unicorn heading back to her boutique and the earth pony taking Scootaloo back to her home.

The very next day, the sun rises softly over the Everfree Forest and casts a gentle glow into the room where the three fillies are sleeping.  Apple Bloom wakes up first, being used to the natural cycle of rising sun and rooster call that gets her up every single morning; the other two are awoken by Apple Bloom's older sister barging into the bedroom and shouting "Rise n' shine little ponies!"

All three of them rub their eyes and groggily stand, glancing around at the ancient looking analogue clock dangling from Apple Bloom's wall: 6:35 AM.  School wasn't until 9 for them, so they had some time to spare, and knew that Applejack and Rarity had something planned for them: a demonstration of what happens to ponies that say bad words.

The trio quickly eats breakfast and packs up their school supplies, getting ready for the day but leaving everything at the door at the orders of Applejack and Rarity.  As soon as all three are present, the two ponies corral the fillies out the door and march them into the woods.  Apple Bloom notices that Applejack has her rope, and that Rarity is stretching out her neck (with full respect for the positioning of her hair, of course) in preparation for some presumably strong magic.

Eventually, everypony reaches a large field, looking out into what seems to them like a random clearing in the middle of nowhere.   The three fillies look around, and then look at each other with confusion in their eyes; Applejack's throat-clearing catches their attention once this has gone on long enough.  They look over to see AJ pointing up to the sky, and then immediately spot Rainbow Dash's tail dangling over the edge of a small cloud.

Applejack removes her rope and ties it into a lasso, swinging it around in usual cowgirl fashion and then throwing it up as high as she can into the sky.  The low-lying cloud is no match for Applejack's strength, and so the lasso wraps itself around the still-sleeping Rainbow Dash and tightens around her midsection.  With a mighty tug, Applejack attempts to pull Rainbow through the cloud, to which she wakes up immediately.

The rainbow pegasus throws her arms out to try and grip the sides of the fluffy thing, not quite knowing what's happening yet (still in a sleepy daze, and all that) so she goes into a minor panic attack.  Eventually, after several tense seconds of fighting, the pegasus falls through her cloud and plummets toward the ground, only to be stopped by Rarity's own telekinesis magic.

"What the hey are you two doing to me?!  Let me go!"  Rainbow flails her limbs and tries to stand, but gets tugged off of her hooves immediately by Applejack and dragged toward her farmhouse.  The whole while Rarity walks behind her and keeps a smirk on her face, reassuring the pegasus that it's just a harmless surprise.

Needless to say, the pegasus is certainly surprised.  She finds herself sitting on the edge of the Apple Family Bathtub with a large, pink bar of foul-tasting soap in her mouth, being laughed at by three little fillies.  Her legs are tied together so that she can't move, and Applejack paces back and forth, just the same as with Apple Bloom's punishment.  Rarity can hardly contain her laughter as well.

"Now then, Rainbow.  You've been in there for a little while...  You gonna be "expanding our sisters' vocabulary" again any time soon?"  Applejack asks the incapacitated Rainbow Dash with a very smug expression.

"Fuff fyou"  Is the only, muffled, noise that comes from Rainbow's muzzle in response to this question.

"What's that?  Ya want Rarity to style your mane with absolute artistic freedom?"  Applejack mockingly tilts her head in closer to the poor pony.  Rainbow's eyes proceed to pop open extremely wide, and she shakes her head back and forth as quickly as she can in a very panicked motion.

Rarity, only slightly disappointed at not getting to change Rainbow's 'obnoxiously coltish mane-cut' (as she describes it) magically removes the bar of soap from her mouth and gives her a chance to talk.  "Please no... Anything but that!"

"Wull, alright...  How about you walk these fillies to school today and tell them about why they should never swear.  Oh and don't even think about not tellin' them, because they're gonna go ahead and repeat what you said to us when they get home this evenin'... and I know when they're lyin'.  After that, we'll be square, n'kay, Rainbow?"

"Alright, AJ, I promise."

"Good.  Be happy I ain't makin' you write a letter to Celestia about this."

"Thank you, mommy."

"Now you're back-sassin' me?"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry...  Can you please untie me so I can keep my end of the bargain?"

Rarity happily takes the liberty of releasing Rainbow Dash, letting her go off about her business with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.  With that, the fillies have a great school day, and an even greater story to tell all of their friends at recess.

~Fin