Pinkie Pie Goes To Hell

by The-darkevil101

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Slice of Life
Length: 2050

Pinkie is killed during a party accident and is sent to hell

When Pinkie invites her friends to a "all-out party", things go for the worst when Rainbow dares her to fire out of a canon, a triple flip, and to land on her feet….easy enough.

Since they were all wasted, Pinkie didn't think twice before that dreaded flip…or when she fell head first into the hard, concrete ground…At first Rainbow thought it was part of the trick…but no…Pinkie wasn't moving..she was…dead.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-07 22:43:06 UTC

Hatred Is Better Than Friendship

     The day was fresh with air, the perfect day for any-pony in the bustling little town of Pony-Ville, no other..."mare" named as Pinkie Pie was ready for the day. Sure, she was just laid off from work, and was arrested THREE times for illegal filly trafficking. But who actually cared? Her friends always busted her out when the court session came for the Jailhouse Corner, and her lesbian friend, Rainbow Dash, was always their by her side. But, since this was the third successful escape from prison, they all decided to party!

"How exciting will that be?!" Exclaimed Pinkie.

"It sure will be." Responded the virgin in the group, Twilight Sparkle.

     When they all finally arrived from Pony-Ville prison, just nicely down the street of where she "used" to work at. When the six entered, Pinkie's pervy old boss, Mr. Cake, saw them, he spit an old cigar at them and said in his gross voice: "Get out, ya dumb lesbian whores!". Well, Pinkie, being the party whore she was, was NOT about to let some bum talk her out like that.

"Kiss my plump, pink-ass!" she exclaimed at him, shoving her flank at his face to taunt him.

"Just don't stay for too long." He began, "You might start to scare away my good, upper-middle class, paying customers." he bluffed.

    His business sold expired cupcakes, and other disgusting goods for those who came to his doorstep to beg for money. He didn't care; he was first-class, and they were from a third world country. That's all that matter to him.

    When Pinkie and her mis-fit crew of friends went up to her old room before she was fired, they set plans for the "party". At first they didn't even know when to arrive, and where. But, Pinkie, being as slutty as possible, gave the first idea.

  "How about at a HOOTERS?" She yelled into the air, but no one laughed...no-one really ever did laugh at her sorry-ass anymore.

  Taking a big puff of her cigar, Rarity, the world's ugliest "fashion designer", spoke up: " *cough cough* I-I don't think that's a good idea.." she spoke in her weezy voice.

  Then the crack-dealer of the group, Rainbow Dash spoke up as well: "Y-Y-Y-Y-Yeah..Hooters is where my r-r-r-rival crack dealers are." she spoke in a jittery, crack-like voice.

  Then the animal hoarder, Fluttershy, spoke up as well: "I-I-I-I-I-I think hooters is a great idea..." she whispered to the group.

Then spoke the drunken, horribly distorted voice of..."AppleJack" spoke...it took a couple of tries for her friends to understand her; since sh-, he drank so much beer.

  "I-I thunk Huurters is a gruuat idea..." after saying that, sh-, he slumps over, unconscious.

  "Weeeell, it has to happen somewhere!!" Blurted Pinkie Pie, back-handing most of her friends, again, no-one laughed at her...ever since she lost her humor..

Five Hours later

   Finally, the fugly band of lesbians decided where to do this; at a actual hooters. They decided to use Rainbow Dash's "Secret spot" as the main place for the party, and they found out how to use a rainbow spell to use as a slide. Pinkie found a couple of stripper poles to attract stallions on, and Fluttershy, deciding to be cruel, wanted to record Twilight's failed attempts at trying to get boys.

   "Okay, everypony, meet back here at 6:30 P.M, okay?" announced Pinkie Pie.

  Everyone in the room responded with a simple "okay", and they all went to there homes, except for Pinkie, she had to seduce some mare to stay at her house until 6:30.

  ~~~

  Finally the time came for the ultimate party. Pinkie was a little late because her new mare-friend didn't quite want her to leave yet. Luckily, Pinkie arrived two minutes late, but still in the party mood.

   "You guys-, I mean, girls ready for this?" she asked.

   Her five other friends and about twenty-five other guest responded with a "Hell yeah!" and not a moment later when she unlocked the front doors to the party, they all stormed in, and no rave could compete.

   "Perfect...Just perfect." grinned Pinkie as she joined her friends as they got quickly into full swing of the all-night party.

Three hours later

   ~Fluttershy's POV~

  The yellow-coated..."mare" was already getting comedy gold from recording Twilight's failures on getting guys. On her first try, she tried to act sexy to a colt, and he got so grossed out, he whacked her on her clitoris, and He left moments later. On her second try, she tried being casual, but that STILL didn't work, because the next guy just poured his drink on her, and trotted out the front door. When she tried forcing a guy to like her, she got trampled, and momentarily raped.

   Finally, Fluttershy had seen enough, and escorted Twilight to a safe room to recover...Even though the pregnancy test came back positive due to Twilight's constant worry-ing.

   ~AppleJack and Rainbow Dash's POV~

   The two ugliest mares of the mane six, RD and AJ, were necking like sluts with multiple stallions, and even some male fillies. Once the last few stallions and fillies were finished with the two, Rainbow and AppleJack went to the bathroom to wash up, but as soon as they shut the bathroom door, they began having even more necking with each other due to their wet, sticky bodies.

~Pinkie Pie's POV~

  The pink, fugly party mare was examining the party from the center stage, and to her amazement, no-one had left yet. It was going on that well.

  "Good...Maybe now  I can do that trick with all these dumbells wasted.." she thought to herself with pleasure.

  She got to the microphone, and tapped on it. No-one responded to it, so she got out her party pistol and started shooting at random people in attendance. Since Pinkie herself was wasted, she didn't hit anybody; but, since she managed to hit Twilight in the back of the head somehow, that finally got everyone's attention.

  " *ahem* Now that I got everybody's attention, I would like you all to face in the direction of the canon I have secretly placed here." and after saying that, she revealed a button, and pressed it. The center floor of the hooters began to give way, let alone some male fillies falling through to their deaths from the sheer underground height of the floor.

The canon was old and rusty, and it appeared to have been stolen from some trailer park of some kind. Pinkie moved toward the old canon drunkenly, and then raised the microphone to her mouth to speak again: " Now everyone, one of my friends dared my to fire out of tha' party canon...So, as the main event to keep you all entertained, I am going to fire inot the air, do a triple flip, and land on my feet..While heavily intoxicated."

  The remaining crowd muttered among themselves. They couldn't believe what the very ugly party mare announced; but anyhow they wanted a show, so they cheered her on.

As Pinkie Pie raised her self drunkenly into the rusty canon, she got into position rather quickly, and then took out a salty match, lowered down and lighted the faulty fuse...

  The crowd counted down the pink "mare"'s ascend into the air.

  "Five...Four...Three...Two...One!"

  *BOOM*

  At once Pinkie shot into the air, and the canon crumpled into a metallic heap onto the ground; but what mattered next was that Pinkie was still in the air, and she had already gotten the first two flips down..but as she was falling into the hard, polished wood, she never finished her final flips, nor did she land on her feet...

  *CRACK*

  Everybody saw Pinkie's neck snap clean in half, and all but her five remaining friends screamed in fear.

  Twilight RD, Fluttershy, Rarity, and AJ were just standing there with blank faces; and as they stood hours later when the ambulance rolled to pick up her mangled body, they wondered: where would Pinkie be going after her gruesome death?

"Hey girls, where do you think Pinkie is going since she died?" asked Twilight.

"Beats me." Said RD, her cocaine wearing off.

The rest of them just shook their heads as the remaining five and what was left of the crowd silently went home for the night..

Twenty Five Years Later...

     Pinkie still had her eyes shut when she was taking that dreadful fall to the hard ground, but the one thing she couldn't get out of her head was this: Why didn't she feel any pain when she landed? She knew for sure she was dead, but she only awoke in a small, black holding cell. Minutes before, she stood before this huge, bright tall guy who referred to himself as "Lord". But, Pinkie didn't know exactly where she was going; and better yet, IF she was even going anywhere. If she was, how long would it be when she would go to a certain place.

     Finally, Pinkie felt two strong arms grab her by both shoulders, and they began to drag her away.

    "H-Hey! Where are you two taking me?" she asked with certain fear rising in her.

   The two tall angels did not respond, they just kept dragging her until they reached this tall, stainless door, and for some reason, Pinkie smelled sulfur, and brimstone. She even her some faint gruesome screams from behind the door. Finally, Pinkie asked the two for one final time where they were taking her. The holding her left shoulder answered first, and was the only to answer:

   "We were instructed by the lord to cast you into hell for your dreadful sins on earth; where you will stay for eternity." he answered.

   "ETERNITY?!" Pinkie gasped hysterically.

  The two tall angels did not answer her anymore as the two huge steel doors opened to reveal a place even worse than death itself: Hell. Pinkie frantically struggled to get out of their grip, but it was no use, within only two minutes, the angels had thrown Pinkie Pie into the scolding fire; where she burned forever more in hell, for her most vulgar party, which would be her last....

Twenty-Five Years Later, Pinkie POV

   "Hello, I am Pinkamena Diane Pie, and that was my story before shortly arriving in hell, I know you all are not interested in religious stories, but this story was not a religious one. The only true part of it was that Hell-casting-into part. Anyhow, I was tortured, and I still am. This is for eternity, and it hurts. The pain never ends, and even twenty-five years into it, it still is the same. The writer not only felt weird while writing this, but he just hates me; kills the story, I know." Stated the pink mare, talking to no-one but herself. Being in hell not only demented her, but it obviously made her go insane....

   The rest of the friends you ask? Well luckily for them, they went better ways.

Twilight decided to keep the baby, and found a great loving stallion, and gave birth to a healthy baby girl, and they raised a family together.

Rarity finally quit smoking, and became a fashion-clothes model; but after two years of modeling, she met a colt and settled down with him in Phillydelphia for many years to come.

Fluttershy decided to be nicer finally, and became a top-geared pet care taker. She stayed single, but the animals always kept her company.

Rainbow Dash finally kicked the habit of crack-cocaine selling and taking to became a cadet at a flying school, she still has a lot to learn, but she is still very on the right track.

AppleJack finally quit drinking, but the damage was already done, she died after three years of sclerosis of the liver shroty after Twilight got married and had a kid.

So, just in case your Christian, and you were curious, all of them found Jesus Christ, and made it to heaven. I plan to go there too one day, but I still have a long ways to go.

The End.

(P.S. This chapter is very short for a reason, it's just a mini-Epilogue.)