Salad and Vignette

by Rocinante

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 14972

A collection of short stories.

This is a collection of vignettes I've written over the years. Stand-alone scenes and bits of collected headcanon.

Rated mature for occasional adult themes. No actual sex, only references to it.

Published 2016-10-24 21:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-24 17:51:38 UTC

Life Finds a Way

Author's Note

This was going to read too much Like a re-skin of Tears.

Life Finds a Way

A rustle in the bramble froze Applejack. Her eyes followed her ears as she tensed to either run or fight. Living on the edge of the Everfree had kept her survival instinct sharp.

Slowly, she turned her head towards the noise. It was a slow dragging sound that she couldn’t place. She held still as the sound edged closer. Adrenalin rang her ears as the outline of a timberwolf dragged itself out of the hedgerow. Her knees bent of their own will, readying her to run, but another instant held her in pace; forced her to watch. The beast was obviously hurt; dying.

Their eyes met, but there was no hunger in the creature, no anger or rage. Instead, there was a sense of pleading coming from the animal. Applejack stood still as the timberwolf dragged itself just a foreleg’s span from her; never breaking eye contact. The creature shook, and its body sagged even more as the light in its eyes dimmed, flickered, then extinguished.

Letting out a breath, Applejack relaxed, but something in the back of her mind would not let her walk away from the corpse. Stepping closer, she jumped back again when it moved.

No, It hadn't actually moved. What was that?

Looking harder, she realized there was a small, but frantic movement coming from inside the corpse. There was something inside it, trying to escape.

This was more a job for Fluttershy, but she couldn’t let whatever poor creature the timberwolf had eaten alive die along with it. Steeling herself, Applejack laid her hooves on the wooden body and poured her strength into tearing it open.

Wood shattered and green offal stained her coat as she dove into the monster’s body. It was only when her hooves met the struggling life within that she realized what she had found. This was not a last meal, clawing back out in an act of revenge. Her hooves were not in a stomach, but a womb.

Applejack held the whimpering newborn at arms length; disgust and amazement in equal measures. Pulled free from the shattered body, the little wooden life clung to her hooves. It was weak and struggling to retain its new life. In dumb awe, Applejack stared at the pup as its green glow flickered and faded. Reflex told her to fling it into the forest and run the other direction.

Its little limbs clung desperately to her hoof as she shifted to pitch the thing. Pausing, she glanced at the little green mess of light and wood. It wasn’t clinging to life, it was clinging to her for life. To leave it alone was as good as snuffing out its light with her own hooves. A life she rescued, she now held out to destroy. The thought sent ice into her bones.

Clutching it to her chest, she looked for anything to replace her as the creature’s savior. Only the pup’s whimpers filled the silence. Applejack placed the little one under her hat and took off at a full gallop. She needed to get to Fluttershy.

“I’ve never seen a baby timberwolf before,” Fluttershy said, looking at the little creature clinging to Applejack’s ear.

Reaching up to her ear, Applejack eased the pup free and held it out to Fluttershy. “What ya suppose it eats?”

“This young... tree sap would be my only guess,” Fluttershy said as she took the pup from Applejack. It tried to protest, but only managed a weak whine. The dim-green magic from the animated twigs flickered and faded as Applejack’s hooves receded from it. “Oh dear!” Fluttershy gasped, pressing the pup back into Applejack’s hooves. “Hold it to your chest.”

Moving by command, Applejack cradled the little one to her chest. Fluttershy sighed in relief as its inner light reclaimed it's weak, but steady glow.

“It’s formed a sympathetic bond,” Fluttershy said, turning to go into the kitchen. “It’ll die if it’s not touching you. At least until we can get it stronger.”

Applejack looked down at the little life pressed against her coat. It really didn’t look like a timberwolf. Just a little ball of magic and wood. Its limbs and head little more than placeholders for what would grow in later.

“Here, give me your hoof,” Fluttershy said.

Absently, Applejack held out one hoof, while holding the little one with the other. She watched as Fluttershy put a few drops of something on her hoof.

“See if it’ll eat this.”

“What is it?” Applejack asked.

“Maple syrup.”

Offering the now-sticky hoof to the little one, Applejack chuckled as it began licking away the syrup. “How long do I need to hold him?” Applejack asked.

“Till the morning at least. If he even makes it through the night.”

“What ya mean if he makes it? He’s weak but eating. That’s a good sign, right?”

Fluttershy gave a weak smile, adding a little more syrup to Applejack’s hoof. “The first night is the roughest for newborn orphans. A lot of babies don’t wake up ... bunnies almost never do,” Fluttershy frowned, giving a little moment of silence to some memory Applejack had no intention of asking about. “I don’t know how delicate timberwolves are. Puppies usually make it... “

Shifting her hold on the little one, Applejack propped it up so it could better lick at the food. “Would it be alright if I sleep here tonight with him? No sense dragging the poor thing around the farm.”

Dawn light woke Applejack from her sleep. The strange room confused her for a moment, before memories of the previous day came back. Her gut sank as she patted herself, looking for the little one. Her hoof was still sticky from the several feedings it had woken her up for throughout the night.

Running out of places she could reach without moving, Applejack checked the space around her head. Between her ears, she found what felt like a twig stuck in her mane. She frowned at the cold stillness of it. Slowly pulling it free of her mane, she placed it on her chest. A smile spread across her face at the dull green light inside the wooden body. Its flickering had stopped, replaced with a steady glow.

Carefully getting to her hooves, Applejack kept the pup against her. “Let's get Shy to have a look at you.”

The sound of hooves downstairs told her Fluttershy was already up. Walking into the kitchen, Applejack found her cleaning up the remains of the early morning feedings. “Morning Fluttershy.”

Turning to greet her friend, Fluttershy’s expression faded from concern to joy at the sight of the pup snuggled into Applejack’s hold. “Good morning Applejack. How’s the pup?”

“Hungry little critter. Woke me up whining every few hours for more syrup. I swear that green light of his rubs off too. I could see a trail of it on me when it was really dark. But I’ll take that over poop.”

The pup stirred, and whimpered at Applejacks voice. Fluttershy laughed as Applejack adjusted her hold on it. “You stay there,” Fluttershy told her. “I’ll go get the syrup.”

“I reckon we should get Twilight to have a look at him too. He’s more magic than critter after all,” Applejack said as Fluttershy floated up the stairs.

“You’re right,” Fluttershy answered from the upper floor. “I’ll go get her after breakfast.”

Looking around the room, Applejack's eyes fell upon her saddlebag. The bundle of fresh cuttings reminded her work she’d have to start over. She’d been in the middle of grafting zap apple trees when she’d found the little one. The branches and their buds had been away from the tree too long to ever grow again, but maybe they weren’t totally wasted. Reaching down, she pulled one of the green twigs out.

“What’s that?” Fluttershy asked, walking back into the room, and sitting the bottle of maple syrup on the table.

“Branch from a zap apple tree,” Applejack answered. Setting the little one in her lap, she opened the bottle and smeared some syrup over the branch and its buds. Picking the whiny pup back up, she offered the glazed green wood to its nose.

Gnawing on the twig, it cleaned it of syrup and green bark alike. Stopping at a leaf bud, the little one tore it from the wood and chewed with obvious delight.

“I think he likes it,” Fluttershy said. “You feed him, and I’ll see about making breakfast for us.”

Dark Pegasus Magic

Author's Note

I wanted to see a pegasus use dark magic.

Dark Pegasus Magic

Twilight carefully picked through the stack of ancient books. Each one was probably the only copy in existence, and more than a few rang with magical energy. One, in particular, caught her attention. The black cover and silver letters made it stand out enough, but the strange aura coming from it, made it impossible to ignore.

“The Book of the Storm” its cover read in and old dialect of Gryphon. Twilight was fluent enough in modern Gryphon, and their language had changed very little since their first recorded words.

Opening the cover, Twilight had to catch her breath. The first page was a vivid splash of color. The ink still looking fresh, depicted a pegasus in armor. Sitting on a cloud of green and purple, was a pegasus that looked exactly like Rainbow Dash.

“Commander Aurora Typhoon, she who rains death and vengeance. My her eyes never see your horizon,” the inscription read.

Flipping the page, Twilight took a breath and read.

We were fools. We called them weak. We called them pery. We hunted them and chased them across the planes.

Twilight swallowed as the taste of blood filled her mouth. The book’s magic was reaching out to her, sharing the author’s memories. She winced knowing she was tasting the flesh of some pony from long ago.

While the unicorns hid behind stone walls, and the earth ponies under trees and bramble, the pegasus were at our mercy: so we thought. We do not know exactly when or who, but a line was crossed. A pegasus was killed, and an anger was lit. Commander Aurora Typhoon was known to us for some time before we made her a monster. She had killed many of our hunters in the sky. Her line of soldiers marked the place we could not venture past. But she did not have the force to chase us or press us on our own land. Until the day the sky cracked.

Twilight shook her head, looking up from the book, as wiped cold sweat from her brow. The still air of a storm still haunted her, and the memory of a line of solid ebony spanning the entire horizon sent waves of anxiety through her. Washing the vision for her mind, she returned to the book.

They say every chick in the griffon lands cried when the first lightning bolt struck. A hundred pegasus weaved streaks of green and purple into the stormfront, but at it’s eye, Typhoon’s anger soaked the clouds with so much hate that not even other pegasus could withstand the maelstrom.

She could see it now. From high above, Twilight was looking down on a churning disk of storm clouds. The center of the angry wheel was a solid mass of dark magic, while the rest of the storm was laced with tendrils of purple and green. It was miles across, she couldn’t even guess how big it was, easily enough to cover a city and all the farmland around it.

Those of us near, attacked the ponies weaving the storm. They had tried using weather against us before, and we had become very good at stopping them. Diving in amongst their ranks, we were decimated. Lightning ended the lucky, while winds killed the less fortunate.

Burnt flesh and ozone filled Twilight nose. A scream lurched her stomach, as it was cut off by the sound of wind and a body being slammed against the ground.

Slowly, it followed those of us that had survived. We could do nothing as tornadoes scraped our lands bare of fields and houses alike. Fire and hail left what was still standing ruined. We fled to the safest place we knew, the aire on the worlds tooth. Its crystal caves had sheltered us for generations, and now a dozen cities were fleeing for its safety.

Canterlot mountain came into Twilight vision, but there was no city of gold atop it. Instead, a thousand perched hung for the cliffsides. She watched in horror as the storm settled above the mountains peek. Rain and hail stripped the mountain clean to rock in a few minutes. Not one tree was left on the mountain, not one home was spared.

In the caves we hid, those few of us that had survived. Some of us battled to keep the tunnels from flooding, while others to keep them from collapsing. Many feared suffocating in a cave in, more than dying at the hooves of the ponies. Those that would went to their death outside, while others hid deeper in the mountain.

The memory of leaping from the cave, into the hail storm made Twilight rub at old wounds she didn’t have.

It was in our last hour, that the light saved us. A comet of gold and fire pierced the storm, and landed atop the mountain. The sun itself shined up at the storm. Black clouds hissed and evaporated at the sun’s touch, but the storm of hate only raged harder.

Twilight face and chest burned from the radiation heat of the descended sun, while her back was numb with cold. She could see nothing except the blinding light atop the mountain.

The living sun redoubled her light, cracking the web of hate in the sky. The legion of pegasus floated to the ground as gentle as leaves in the fall breeze. All but one. The heart of the storm only hardened at the attack. Hail like meteors crushed stone, while lightning licked the mountain.

“Aurora Typhoon,” the sun called to the storm. “You have had your vengeance.”

From some low place, Twilight watched the searing ball of light dim, and take the form of the Celestia she knew. She wore no regalia, and her eyes still burned white.

“Never again will ponies fear these monsters,” the storm growled.

“You are right,” The sun said. “They will fear ponies for the rest of their days. Their children will know you as agents of retribution. Their line will fear ponies for all of Creation’s time.”

The storm flashed. A new volley of destruction sent earth tumbling down the mountain. “They will not,” The storm said. “There will be none to remember.”

“Then you will be the monster. Take from them what you will, but spare their lives.”

A kind of fear Twilight didn’t have a name for coursed through her veins. The memory of the cloud hanging over the mountain seemed to last forever, but as it churned, its assault weakened.

The storm churned above the sun, till its anger faded and only snow fell from it. “I will take everything else from them then. They will leave their home, and I will build a pony kingdom here. Any that leave with so much as a stone in their talons, I will strike from the sky.”

Twilight watched the sky fill with fleeing griffins. Soon the memory joined them in their flight. She knew cold and hunger. She remembered a sense of loss and loneliness. There were chicks, and there were stories about the day the sky broke. In time there was a new home and there was hope. But always there was the threat of retribution. Poneis were a thing to fear and avoid. Homes were built to be hidden from pony eyes. Lives were lived to avoid attention.

The book snapped shut, and Twilight again jumped. The sun was a bit lower in the sky than when she had opened the book. Looking around, she found herself alone. Shutting the book down, Twilight left the room to find one of her friends. Not to tell them of what she had seen, but to simply be in their presence.

Fire and Snow

The warm nothingness bled from my body, replaced with bitter cold and cutting wind. Getting knocked out isn’t that bad, it’s coming to that bites. It’s not like waking up from sleep. No, when you come to, your senses don’t come back all at once.

Wind howled in one ear, an odd squeaking sound filled the other. Groaning as the pain set in, I tried and failed to lift myself off the snow. The squeaking got louder, then stopped. I tried to open my eyes, but one was swollen shut, and the other refused to focus. Something yellow moved in front of me as my good eye remembered how to focus. A little yellow pegasus had found me.

It ran from my sight just as I focused on it; squeaking as it fled. Had that been what I was hearing all this time? Maybe I had crashed on something that belonged to it. I tried to move again, but only managed to get my arm out from under me. My muscles refused any weight. I was worse off than I thought. All the effort rewarded me with blackness creeping in on my vision. I was going to black out again if I wasn’t careful.

The squeak sounded in my ear again: this time I paid it more attention. “Are you okay?” the little voice asked.

“No,” I grumbled.

The little yellow pony came back into my line of sight. Shaking, she jumped away from me at my every move. “There’s a cave...” she said, pointing to the hillside.

I rolled my eye to follow her hoof. I couldn’t see a cave, but the topography told me where it would be.

More?

Scootaloo trudged through the lunch line: she was starving. Her first day in the orphanage had been an emotionally brutal one so far. All the foals here were so dower, and it seemed that the main requirement to be employed here, was that they had at least two poorly set bones and had ran head first through barbed wire at some point. Not to mention all the adults here were just huge. She wasn’t that small, but she barely came to the knees of most of them.

Waiting for her turn to have her bowl filled by the cook, she studied the massive earth pony stallion. Easily the biggest pony she’d ever seen, and his every move seemed to radiate anger. She winced as he flung a ladle full of horrific looking mush into her bowl. Wasting no time, she snatched a spoon and trotted over to the line of tables. Spotting her new roommate, she sat next to her.

“It tastes better that it looks,” Dodger said.

Realizing that she had been scowling at the mush, Scootaloo relaxed and took up her spoon. Closing her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at it, she took a tentative taste. It was ... really good. Opening her eyes, she prodded the goop. Barley and cream, with meaty chunks of artichoke. The brown, cream, and green color left a lot to be desired, but it was delicious.

Scootaloo found the bottom of her bowl all too soon: she was still hungry. Looking around, the other orphans were still eating, taking small bites to feel like they had eaten more. That wasn’t going to cut it for Scootaloo, she wanted more. Picking up her bowl, she moved to stand.

“What are you doing!” Dodger hissed, pulling Scootaloo back down.

“I’m still hungry.”

“We all are. It’s just something you’re going to have to get used to.”

“I can’t get more? There's got to be gallons of that stuff still in the pot.”

“Look at that stallion. You really think Cookie is going to just smile and give you more?” Dodger said pointing to the cook, still standing by the pot.

Shaking free of Dodger’s hoof, Scootaloo stood up. “I don’t care, I’m getting more.”

“Your funeral.”

Steeling herself, Scootaloo walked beneath the glare of Cookie. Her determination and hunger almost forgotten when he looked back at her.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“Please sir, I want some more,” she said holding her bowl out.

Cookie flinched as if he’d been struck. “You want more?” his voice rumbled.

Scootaloo shook under the intense glare. “Yes, please. It was really good.”

His muzzle jerked into a crooked smile, as he plunged the ladle into the pot. “You want more of my cooking?” he said even louder. Something in his voice had Scootaloo confused now.

Pulling the ladle out, he poured a massive serving into her bowl. “About time one of you foals appreciated my cooking!”

“Thank you?” Scootaloo said, looking up at the massive stallion. She thought he was about to cry.

“I work hard every day to cook for you all, but everypony just eats their serving like it a chore and leaves without saying a word. Do you know how much food I throw out every day?”

Scootaloo looked back at Dodger. Every colt and filly in the room was watching the scene with slack-jawed disbelief.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think they knew you could get seconds,” Scootaloo said, scooting towards her table. As bad as she felt for Cookie, the smell of the food under her muzzle was making her mouth water: she was going to eat this while it was still hot.

“Feeding ponies is my special talent, why would I ever let somepony go hungry?” Cookie said, pointing to the cauldron cutie mark on his flank.

“That’s what your mark means?” Dodger said louder than she meant.

Cookie blinked and looked at the filly. “What else would it be?”

Dodger drawled for a moment. Rumor was the black cauldron was what he cooked foals in. “Can’t say I ever thought about it,” she finally said.

Hanging the ladle back on the pot’s handle with a humph, Cookie looked at his own hooves. “That's the problem with you little one, you never bother to ask.”

Scootaloo took her seat again as a dozen other colts and fillies began rising from their seats and forming a new line to the cook. Taking time to enjoy her meal this time, she smiled as she watched Cookie give second helpings to every pony that approached him. This time softly pouring the servings instead of sloping it out.

He wasn’t so scary looking when he smiled.

Author's Note

I really like the Cookie character. I need to find a place for him.

Miss Apple Goes to Canterlot.

Luna sighed, flipping another page of the ledger. Nobels, a screwy idea from the start, a vestigial remnant from the time before Discord. Long ago she had butted heads with their like, sending her into a fit of learning their own devices. Now she knew their rules and traditions better that they did, or she had. A thousand years had left her a bit out of the loop. Having Blueblood counter his dismissal by equus alterius coloris, had been rather embarrassing.

Before she dived into the mind-numbing depths of procedure, she really needed to learn about the current noble families. Scanning the pages of the record of land rights, a strange entry caught her attention.

842ar.2.2.12
500 acres duchy granted to Apple family. Land to be taken adjacent to the northern border of the Everfree Forest.

Luna stifled a snicker, but the snicked became a cackle. Rolling onto her back, she laughed till she cried.

Outside the guards shared uneasy glances.

Applejack rinsed the last dish in the sink, and set it up to dry. She had the house to herself for the next week. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day, but today she planned to spend by the fire with a good book and a mug of mulled cider. Quiet days to rest were far and few between; she was going to enjoy it while she could.

Looking out the window, she smiled at the sun rising over the snow-covered fields. Then frowned at the sight of a pony standing on her porch: it was too cold for somepony to be out this early.

‘Why hadn’t they knocked on the door to be let in?’

Opening the front door she opened her mouth to call him into the warmth of the house, but paused. It was a royal guard, dressed in full livery. Celestia would have only sent a guard like that if it was an emergency, but there he stood like a statue.

“Would you like to come in?” she asked

“I’m fine my lady Duchess.”

Applejack blinked. “I think you’re at the wrong house. But come inside, I don’t like you being out in the cold.”

“Yes, my lady Duchess,” the guard said, marching into the house and taking a post inside the door. Reaching into his armor, he pulled out a scroll. “I was instructed to give this to you,” he said, hoofing to her with a bow.

Twilight rose from her reading pillow to answer the door, not bothering to take the quilt from her back. Opening the door, she found Applejack standing in the snow. Her hat was absent, and she had her reading glasses on.

“Are you okay?” Twilight asked.

Applejack stared into the far distance behind her, not seeming to have heard the question. The winter silence hung for a moment before Applejack pulled a scroll from her mane.

“ineedyoutoreadthisforme,” she mumbled in a voice the could barely be heard over the falling snow.

Twilight strained her ears, struggling to understand her friend. Taking the offered letter, she beckoned Applejack into the library. Applejack walked with slow even steps till she took a seat beside the table.

“I ... think there’s been some kind of mistake, Twilight.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Twilight said, placing a cup of hot tea beside her friend.

Unrolling the scroll, Twilight recognized it as being written by Luna before even reading a word.

Duchess Applejack, of the Apple family.

Forgive my intrusion, but I have taken the liberty to access your duchy’s tax records for the past one-hundred and forty-nine years. It seems that your family has failed to properly account for their tax liability. Attached is a statement to rectify the matter.

Twilight frowned, flipping over the first page, she found the second to be a letter from the Bank of Canterlot.

An account in trust of the Apple estate has been created by the Crown for the holding of 314,159,265 bits. The refund due with interest to the Apple estate from overpaid taxes.

This is a letter of credit, and may be used at any Equestrian bank.

“Applejack, why did she call you Duchess?”

“I don’t know, but apparently I have a guard assigned to the farm now.”

First Kiss

Author's Note

Deep in my mind, I have a shipping story between Twilight and Derpy. One day it'll make it to paper. Till then, have a scene from what little I have written.

First Kiss

The two stood in the room alone, the others having left several moments ago. The little task, Twilight had come into the room to do in the first place had been finished minutes ago. She could leave and rejoin the others, but that would mean no longer being alone with Derpy.

For her part, the little gray mare seemed just as unwilling to leave the tentative solitude. The two lingered in the little room, neither ignoring or focusing on the other. Twilight couldn’t keep her mind off the delicate mare near her. She stole glances at every chance while pretending to find more things to do. Her mind's eye flashed the scene again and again, she would turn and kiss Derpy. She wanted to feel her soft lips and tongue, and pull back breathless.

Her unexpected crush moved a little closer to her, with the pretense of examining something. If she could ever bring up the courage to kiss her, it was now or never. She was right there, all she had to do was lean over and meet her lips.

Her heart pounded in her throat and her gut flailed within her as she committed to the action. Twilight’s foreleg pulled Derpy a bit closer as she leaned in to kiss her. She watched the golden eyes spring open with surprise. Fear that she had overstepped her boundaries flared for a heartbeat, till it was dismissed by her mouth parting in that little way that invites a hard long kiss.

Twilight’s nerves wracked her whole body and she hadn’t even connected the kiss yet. When it did it was an awkward little peck of a kiss that only landed on her bottom lip. But, their tongues just touched in the act. It was the softest thing she had ever felt, and her whole consciousness dwelt on that one brief little contact.

The golden eyes blinked a few times before Derpy murmured “Wow, okay.”

“Is... That okay” Twilight stammered back. Instantly she kicked her self. It had been a lame kiss and a lame question too. Still the little place on her tongue remembered the others touch.

Derpy gave her a toothy smile and nodded. “MmmHmm”

The Magic Apple

“I want to learn magic.”

“What?” Twilight blinked, almost dropping the book she had just pulled from the shelves. “Your earth pony magic is already in the top percentile.”

Applejack took her hat off and rested it on the table. “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about what unicorns do.”

Putting the book back where she found it, Twilight sat down. “But you’re not a unicorn.”

“Doesn't seem to stop Zecora.”

Twilight shrugged. “Fair enough. But still, why?”

“Really Twilight? You of all ponies are asking that?” Applejack paused, hoping to see some light of understanding in her friend, but only found more confusion. “Did you want to cast magic when you were a filly? Before your magic even really worked.”

“Of course I did!”

“Why? You had never cast a spell, so why would you want to?”

‘Because magic is... “ Twilight’s face lit up with wonder as she searched for a word that could communicate her feelings.

“That.” Applejack smiled at her friend and pointed a hoof at her. “That is why I want to learn.”

“Oh,” Twilight said, with a bit of a blush. “I never thought you would see it like that.”

“It’s not what makes me tick, like it does you. But still...” Applejack shrugged. “So what do ya say? Can you teach me?”

Scratching her head, Twilight turned to scan her library shelves. “I think I have some studying to do, but yes.” Floating a book down, she flipped through it. “Come back tonight, and I’ll give you some homework.”

Plopping her hat back on, Applejack gave her a toothy nod. “Sure thing.”

Hard Cider

Author's Note

An idea from before the CMC got their marks. Belle was going to be the bartender, Scootaloo would get a mark in distilling.

Hard Cider

Applebloom wrinkled her nose. Berry Punch’s winery smelt funny. She wouldn’t say it smelt bad, just strange. Then again she’d never been inside a winery before; she had no idea what one was supposed to smell like.

“Hello,” she called, looking around for Berry Punch. She knew the mare in passing but had never really spoken to her.

“Back here,” a voice answered from somewhere in the maze of wooden vats.

Closing the door behind her, Applebloom ventured into the building. It was about the same size as their barn, but with the feel of a kitchen. Barrels of all sizes filled the space. Hundreds of hogsheads were stacked along the wall, reaching from the floor to the ceiling. Along the center of the room, a dozen wagon-sized barrels divided the space. It was beside one of these behemoths that Applebloom found her substitute teacher.

“Hey Applebloom,” Berry said, watching some little thing float in a beaker of purple liquid. “Just you?”

“Yea, Twilight found us separate tutors for while she’s gone.”

Berry nodded her head and sat the beaker down. Taking up a pen and notebook, she made a little note. “You’ve been studying alchemy, right?”

“Yep. But I don’t get what wine has to do with alchemy.”

“Plenty!” Berry smiled at Applebloom. Setting the notebook down, she motioned her to come closer. “See that,” she said pointing to the thing she had been holding earlier.

“Looks like a thermometer floating in grape juice.”

“You’re close. It’s called a hydrometer, and that’s wine; or at least fermented grape juice. I’m not quite ready to call it wine.”

Applebloom was actually familiar with a hydrometer. Twilight had taught her how to use one in the lab to measure density changes in potions. While Twilight’s hydrometer looked different, now that she knew what it was, Berry’s looked familiar enough. “Why do you need to know the wine’s density?”

Berry blinked at the question, surprised that the young mare knew what the instrument measured. “Well, I measure it before I add the yeast. As the yeast turns the sugar into alcohol, the density lowers. Taking measurements tells me how that process it going: how much sugar I started with, how much is left, and how strong the wine will be. Knowing those numbers is the only way I can recreate a batch of wine later.”

“Oh, that’s kinda cool.” Picking up the little notebook, she scanned the column of numbers. Again, she found it to be roughly familiar, but still strange.

Berry Punch spent the next few hours showing Applebloom the shop. She took great pride in explaining her craft to the young mare, showing her how she blended art and science into a prized drink.

“So, can you make wine out of something besides grapes?” Applebloom asked, looking over one of Berry’s recipe books.

“Sure! Most any fruit or berry can be fermented. Heck, great uncle Applejack was famous for his hard cider; which is really just apple wine.”

Applebloom’s head jerked up for the book in her hooves. “What! Really?”

Berry hummed and hawed for a moment. “Well... you can technically call hard cider and apple wine separate things. But really you kinda have to be a connoisseur to care about the difference.”

“No.” Applebloom shook her head. I was asking about you having an uncle named Applejack.”

“Oh.” Berry smiled. “You didn’t know? We’re cousins. My great grandfather and yours were brothers.”

A Change of Form

Twilight groaned, her voice didn't sound right. She tried to look around, but gause covered her eyes.

"Please do not try to move," Celestia said from nearby.

Twilight obeyed, trying to relax. She felt so strange. "Where am I?"

“Your Castle’s basement,” Celestia answered. “What is the last thing you remember?”

“I.. I was in the lab. Spike was helping me study dragon magic.” The memory of fire and pain came rushing back. “Spike!” Twilight sat up, and the world spun around her. She could hear ponies scrambling around her as she moved, and felt herself knock something over. “Is he alright?”

“He is alive and healthy. Twilight, I need you to be still.”

“Sorry,” Twilight said, freezing in place. “My eyes... Am I...”

“Your eyes are fine. Now please don’t move, but I had them blindfold you so I could talk to you before saw anything.”

Twilight's stomach lurched. It was hard not to pat herself down, but she held still. “What’s wrong?”

“There was an accident, we are still trying to understand it. Twilight, you were changed. You look very different now, but the best we can tell, you are healthy. If i take the gauze off, will you stay calm?”

Twilight only nodded. Golden light pulled the bandages away, leaving her to squint against the room's light. As her eyes adjusted, she slowly looked around. Her lab was trashed, but she’d done worse to it. A host of medical ponies looked up at her with sympathy and trepidation.

Looked up at her... She was far too tall, her head was almost against the ceiling.

“You will hurt yourself and others if you move quickly,” Celestia warned from behind her.

With a slow movement, Twilight raised a hoof, only it wasn’t a hood at all. It was a scaled claw with five digits. “Princess.” Looking down, she examined the rest of her body. “I’m scared.” She was a dragon, of the shape that had once inhabited the mountain above Ponyville, though less than half the size. “I’m really scared.”

Celestia stepped from around her, and into her sight. “Would you like to talk to Spike?”

Twilight nodded.

A moment later and the door opened, letting in alicorn stallion into the room. Purple coat and Green mane told her it was Spike. A cutie mark of green fire and a ruby heart confirmed the idea.

The alicorn gave a nervous laugh when she looked at him. “You make a pretty dragon,” he said.

“Spike?” Her voice was way too loud to her own ears.

“Yeah,” he answered.

Leaning forward, she got a better look at him. Calling him a stallion was a bit of a stretch, but he was no foal. Certainly handsome by any standard. “Are you okay?” she asked

Spike laughed. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Slowly, Twilight placed a claw against her forehead. “My horn is gone.” Looking to the nearest book, Twilight tried to levitate it. Something in her throat tingled, and lavender fire started to bellow from her mouth.

Gold magic kept the fire away from ponies and books alike. “You’re going to have to relearn how to use your magic, Twilight, but I do not believe you have lost anything.”

Twilight nodded, then slowly examined the rest of her new body. It occurred to her she was far bigger than the only door leading into the room. “How am I getting out of her?”

“When you are ready, I can teleport you outside,” Celestia said.

The room was feeling smaller every moment, she needed to stretch and move. “I’d like that.”

Good Health

Author's Note

This Idea came to me after reading, Sothern Gods. Of all these, this one is the most likely to eventually become a full story. At the moment I have a lot of writing to do before I get to it, so it's getting posted here.

Good Health

A bleary sort of consciousness brought Twilight out of restless sleep. The room was uncomfortably warm, making her cold breath fog all the more.

“What day is it?” she thought, not daring to speak for fear of triggering another coughing fit.

Forcing her eyes to focus, she read the calendar on the wall. Today was supposed to be the entrance exam. Her expression wilted just a bit more. She had been looking forward to that, but it had been canceled along with every other public gathering. Not that she had the strength to stand, let alone go to a test.

Rolling over, she looked out the big window Brother had moved her bed beside. Her family’s house had one of the best views in the whole city. Perched on the edge of the upper terrace, she could see from Manehattan to Cloudsdale.

Twilight sighed, the long breath rattling in her chest, forcing her into a fit of coughing.

Mom and Dad had begged Shining to not get so close to her, for fear of him catching the coughing disease too. But he had invented a spell to keep the contagen away from him, just so he could still visit her. The doctors had been impressed with Shining’s spell, and were already recommending him to the royal medical school. Doctor Glow said he’d be a fine physician one day, helping sick ponies. Maybe he’d even be the one to find the cure for frost lung.

Curling into a tight ball, Twilight’s lungs rebelled against her will, forcing out more coughs, each harder than the next. Something cracked and tore inside her. It didn’t hurt, but she knew it was bad. As the fit passed, she found far more blood and bits of ice on her coat and bed than normal.

A smile played across her blood-stained muzzle. She’d gotten to see her brother get his mark of a shield and bandage. She only wished he’d gotten to see her get hers.

Looking out across Equestria, it occurred to her that her lungs didn’t itch anymore. There was a warmth where she’d only known cold the past few moons.

Sitting up a bit taller than she had in weeks, Twilight admired the beautiful weather on the other side of the window. It clashed horribly with the sickness that had ground Canterlot to a halt. Once a day or so, she would hear crying down in the streets below her. It always meant somepony had died. She’d die soon too.

At least she had a pretty view.

Twilight tried to take a breath, but air didn’t come. The hot fluid filling her lungs gave it no room. Laying down, Twilight took some comfort in the view, even as it began to dim. She forced her eyes to stay open, long after they wanted to close, she would see every second of sunlight she could.

The world blinked black, but Twilight forced herself back. Color was gone now, the world only shades of gray. She already missed the blue sky.

A glint on the horizon caught her attention, a single dot of pure white. Memory told her it was over Cloudsdale. Blackness crept around her again, but she wouldn’t let it take her just yet.

The point of white turned into a ball of color that began to expand at amazing speed. The gray world was washed with color again as a rainbow like she’d never seen soon filled the entire sky. Then came the sound. A thing like thunder, but ringing with joy. Twilight’s heart skipped at the beautiful furry, an honest smile lighting up her face as all of Equestria was covered by a rainbow umbrella.

As the rainbow sky faded back to blue, the light left Twilight’s eyes. In inky blackness, Twilight found herself alone with her tired thoughts. What else had she never seen? What other joys were out there for her to discover?

She wanted to see that rainbow again.

Deep within her, something stirred; the world began to come back to her. She felt strength she had thought lost forever. If she was stronger, she could leave this bed.

Something snapped inside her, something bigger and deeper than what her coughing had broken. Her lungs were still clogged with blood, but life was breathing into her anyway. The room shined white when she opened her eyes. It was a strange light, one that encased the room and chased away every shadow. Looking around, she searched for the light’s origin, only to discover it was herself.

Twilight gasped, or she tried to. The gurgling sound shattered whatever what happening and she fell onto her bed. Still though, she was alive, alert; for a few more minutes. Desperately, she tried to summon the power again. If she could control it, perhaps it would heal her.

Struggling with a force she didn’t understand, the darkness washed over Twilight faster than the first time. Her mind reached for that light inside her again, but she was too tired. Falling back, she tried yet again, but a movement in the room made her pause.

Twilight frowned. It was her mother. She didn’t need comfort, she needed strength: power to overcome this.

“You’re strong. Far stronger than I have ever seen,” her mother said, but it was not her voice.

Will alone kept her eyes open as she watched her mother ripple with green fire. “You are young to have that kind of will,” the slender, black creature said. “I can give you the magic you crave, but it has a price.”

The blackness took Twilight as the creature stepped towards her. This time though, she was not alone in her mind. The black and green mare had followed her into numbness.

“What are you?” Twilight thought.

“The only thing that can save your life,” The mare answered.

“Please...”

“I would like very much to, but something must be traded. Something that only you have the right to give.” The inky blackness took on a green glow as the creature spoke.

“What’s that?”

“Your life.”

Twilight reached for that strange power inside her again. “Don’t want to die.”

The mare’s laughed echoed in Twilight’s mind. “You will live, but not as the life you know. You must leave Twilight Sparkle here and come with me, to take on a new name, a new life, and a new destiny.”

“But what about my brother and parents?”

Twilight could feel the mare smile. “Such a sweet young thing. They will get their happy ending too. There will be a new Twilight Sparkle in this bed tonight, one making a miraculous recovery. She will live the life you lost, while you live your new one.”

In her mind, Twilight nodded, but she wasn’t sure if her head actually moved. “Okay.”

Hot breath rolled across Twilight’s muzzle a moment before hard lips press against hers. “Then drink.”

She started to wince away from the gross touch, but she didn’t have the strength. Something sweet trickled into her mouth. It tasted of honey and tingled like a loving touch. She could feel life’s energy on her tongue. The last of her will went into swallowing all she could. Life rippled through her as it hit her stomach, giving her the strength and need to drink more. Every drop of life the Queen gave her, she drank eagerly.

How did she know...

Queen Chrysalis pulled away, leaving a void where she had been. Focusing on the power she had been filled with, Twilight shaped it with her will to live. Her body churned and shifted. She coughed, but this time it was a cleansing purge—vomiting out rotten blood and frozen tissue. She gasped for breath and felt her lungs welcome the warm air.

Opening her eyes, she found more color in the world than she remembered. A yawn forced its way out of her, teeth ached as they sharpened and grew. Her horn burned as it too changed. A gout of pain made her cry out as something erupted from her shoulders. Instinct told her she had wings now. A thought sent them to buzzing, confirming her suspicion.

“Different,” the Queen mused. “You kept your coat.”

Looking over herself, she expected to see the same black carapace as the Queen, but found a lavender coat that was only spotted with shiny black in places.

“Do not mind that. Stand tall, Princess Apis,” the Queen said. “Stand by me as my daughter.”

Standing, she looked around the room as she stepped down from the bed. It was strange and familiar all at the same time. Memories of happiness echoed here, yet she knew she wasn’t welcome here.

She became aware of another’s presence in the room as she neared her Queen. A young drone, his carapace still soft, fluttered off the Queen’s back, and sat before her. The sleepy little drone was only a little smaller than her, though she knew she was just a few days old. Standing on unsteady legs, it kneeled before her: the little drone was waiting for something.

“Touch your horn to hers, and let her into your mind,” the Queen said. “She can not harm you.”

Giving Queen Chrysalis an uneasy nod, she did as she had been told. A spark made her wince when the drone’s horn met hers. Again she found herself not alone in her own mind. This time it was not the monolithic presence of the Queen, but a delicate one that seemed to have no identity of its own. She felt memories tweezed and shuffled through, the very essence of who she was examined like a bit of art not fully understood.

This little one was trying to understand her, know her, become her—but she was far too weak of mind to accomplish more than roughest imitation. Taking the fledgling consciousness into the grip of her magic, she filled it with every memory she could scrape from herself. All but one, the rainbow. That was hers, and she would share it with no other.

As the presence retreated from her, she opened her eyes just in time to see the drone become a lavender unicorn filly. Her mind swam as she stood next to the Queen, watching the drone settle into the bloody bed. There was a mark on the filly's flank; a pretty star-burst pattern.

Looking back at her own flank, she found that same mark. She smiled, but her heart ached too. She was supposed to have shared this with somepony... Who?

“You have potential, Apis, and you have much to learn, ” the Queen said. “We should leave this drone to her work, and return to the hive to begin your studies.”

Apis nodded and followed her Queen out of the room.

Uncle Crab Cake

Author's Note

This was written before the Griffonstone episode. I still really like the Crab Cake character, I'm going to have to find a use from him eventually.

Uncle Crab Cake

Pinkie stuck her hoof into the mailbox. A smile stretched across her face as her hoof met a box inside.

“Get something in the mail?” Twilight asked. She had stopped to say hello when she saw Pinkie walking to the mailbox.

“Yep!” Pinkie answered, giving her friend a smile. “And I wasn’t even expecting anything!”

Twilight stepped closer to Pinkie, and looked over her shoulder “Who’s it from?”

Getting the little box in both hooves, Pinkie searched for the return address. “It’s from... Oh.” Pinkie’s expression wilted. Not going all the way to a frown, but definitely well into apathy. “Uncle Crab Cake,” Pinkie said in a dull tone.

If it weren’t for her own presence, Twilight was pretty sure Pinkie would have thrown the box into the nearest trash can while nopony was looking.

Turning around, Pinkie walked towards the Sugarcube Corner’s back entrance. “I better make sure nothing’s alive in here.”

Twilight nearly tripped over her own hooves. “What!?”

“Uncle Crab Cake lives in Port of Sardines. He likes to send us local delicacies.” The word delicacies rolled off her tongue with an air of distance that was more fitting to Rarity, than Pinkie.

“Port of Sardines?” Twilight scrunched up her face, trying to recall the spot on the map that belonged to that name. “That’s a griffon fishing village.”

Pinkie only nodded to Twilight’s statement. Setting the box on the counter, she carefully opened it. She gave a sigh of relief when she found only a can and a letter inside. Pinkie picked up the can with all the care of a bomb, and sat it in the trash.

“You’re just going to throw that away?” Twilight asked, floating the can back out.

“Can’t read the label. You don’t open griffon food if you can’t read the label.” Returning to the box, Pinkie unfolded the letter and read it to herself.

There was a tone in Pinkie’s voice that reminded her of the warning she had given them about parasprites. True enough, she couldn’t read the label. While the characters were familiar, their arrangement was unpronounceable to her. “Dash can read Griffon. Mind it I have this?”

“All yours.”

Pinkie’s mood was starting to worry Twilight, but whatever was in the last half of the letter seemed to bring the poof back to her hair.

“Uncle Crab got engaged!” Pinkie cheered. “He’ll be in Canterlot next week. They’re getting married there, and he wants me to organize the reception!”

Twilight couldn’t help but mirror Pinkie’s smile. “That’s great!” Tucking the can into her saddlebag, she walked over and gave her friend a hug. “Let me know if I can help.”

Leaving the bakery with a warm cookie in her levitation, Twilight made her way back to the crystal castle. Hopefully, Dash would be around so she could have her read the label on the can. A rainbow streak and moving cloud told her she was in luck: Rainbow Dash was cleaning up the weather around town. Spreading her wings, Twilight fluttered up to get her attention.

“Hey Twilight,” Dash said, a bit surprised to see her friend up in the clouds.

“Can you read this?” Twilight asked, hoofing the can towards Dash.

“Hmm... Where did you get this? I haven’t seen griffon food since my falling out with Gilda.”

“Pinkie’s uncle mailed it to her. He lives in Port Sardine.”

“Hmm... well.” Dash held the can up for Twilight to see, pointing a hoof to the largest word on the label. “That’s the word for soured; like sour cream, or sauerkraut. And that’s the word for herring, which is a type of fish. I remember Gilda mentioning this stuff. She always complained about not being able to get it outside of the griffon kingdom.”

“So, fermented fish?” Twilight asked.

Dash shrugged. “I guess so. Let’s go try it. I want to see what Gilda was raving about.”

Twilight followed Dash back to the castle. She wasn’t the biggest fan of fish, but she was willing to try something new. Just getting to see the griffon delicacies was enough to keep her curiosity hooked. Opening the kitchen door, they found Spike standing over the stove, with a frying pan in his claws.

“What up girls?” Spike asked a bit paranoid at the sudden appearance of the two mares in the kitchen. With a flick of his wrist, he tossed his moonstone omelette onto a plate, and turned the stove off. With two of the three worst cooks in ponyville in the room, he needed to be ready to do some damage control.

“We need to make some toast,” Dash said. Sitting the can on the table she proceeded to rummage through the drawers looking for something. “Gilda always said you ate this stuff on hard bread, but toast should be close enough.”

Spike took his plate, and made his way to the table. “The toaster is over here,” he said pointing to the device as he passed it. Thinking better of letting either Dash or Twilight trying to make toast, he paused and went back to the toaster. With a free hand, he shoved two slices of bread into the toaster, and pushed the lever down.

“Thanks,” Dash said, still rummaging drawer after drawer.

“What is she looking for?” Spike asked Twilight, who was watching her friend with distant curiosity.

“The can opener.”

“Ha ha!” Dash proclaimed, holding her prize above her head. “Found it!”

With a weary expression, Spike sat at the table and took a bite of his omelette; watching the two mares turn their attention to the strange can.

Twilight floated a plate onto the counter, while Dash fumbled with the can opener. Once she had figured out which end was which, Dash placed the opener against the can, and pressed.

A wet hiss sprayed Dash in the face as she broke the can’s seal.

“Oh...” Twilight whimpered, staggering backwards from the sound. Her horn lit reflexively, putting a barrier around her.

Rainbow Dash buckled. Dropping to her knees, she dry heaved. Her wings desperately fluttered, but she didn’t have the wherewithal to fly herself out of the room. Instead she just manager to spread the smell faster.

The first whiff hit Spike with the faintest hint of the stench that would soon fill the room. Clearing his nose with a puff of fire, he picked up his plate and ran out on the kitchen; and then the whole castle just to be safe. With nothing better to do, Spike decided to finish his meal at Rarity’s

- - ch 2 - - -

Pinkie stood at the Canterlot airship docks, with a huge sign in her hooves. Mr. Cake stood behind her, morally obligated to greet his relative. Not that Crab Cake was a bad pony. He would help a griffon or pony in need without hesitation. He was also the closest living relative that he and Pinkie shared, so that had to count for something good too.

No, Uncle Crab was a good pony, he was just so very strange. Having grown up with griffons, had given him a strange pallet and a worse smell. Mr. Cake couldn’t help but wonder what kind of mare had decided to marry him.

“There he is!” Pinky cheered, waving the oversized “Crab Cake and Fiancé” sign.

Mr. Cake watched the crowd of ponies and griffons walk down the gangway. Uncle Crab was easy to spot. A coat the color of half-dried blood, and driftwood-brown mane, made him stand out from griffons and ponies alike. The real challenge was guessing which mare was his fiancé. The unorganised crowd made it hard to tell who was traveling with who.

“Hey Pinkie, hey Carrot, thanks for the welcome.”

Mr Cake forced a smile as he was snapped out of his ponderings. He started to give his uncle a hug, but a whiff of old seafood stopped him. It didn’t stop Pinkie, but then he doubted much would. “Where’s the lucky mare?” he asked, not seeing any mares at all around them.

“Ahem,” A female griffon cleared her throat just behind Crab Cake. She had an awkward, uncomfortable look about her—that for some reason Pinkie was mirroring.

“I didn’t realize Pinkie was your niece,” the griffon said.

“Gilda? What are you doing here?” Pinkie asked, taking a few steps back.

Crab Cake beamed a smile at the griffon. “You two know each other? Great!” Turning back to Mr. Cake, he rested a hoof on his shoulder, and pointed to the griffon. “Carrot Cake, This is my fiancé Gilda.”

Mister Cake giggled nervously. Pinkie just kinda gawked, her jaw swaying with the breeze. Gilda scratched at her arm, still looking out of place.

“So how do you two know each other?” Crab asked, totally oblivious to the situation.

“I threw her a party... once.” Pinkie answered flatly.

“Yea, about that. I owe you all an apology. I was in a bad place, and took it out on you.”

Pinkie blinked. “Really?”

Gilda looked back towards the ship. Resting a claw on Crab’s back, she idely ran her talons across his withers—sending a dopey grin across his muzzle. “Yea.”

“Well, we better get you two checked into the hotel,” Mr. Cake said, ushering his uncle and Pinkie towards the city. He gave the griffon a smile and nod for her to follow. “So... how did you two meet?”

Gilda blushed at the question. The hulking predator suddenly looking delicate and feminine.

“I told her dirty jokes till she smiled,” Crab Cake answered with a dopey grin.

Pinkie and Mr Cake both looked to Gilda for a better explanation.

“I have family in Port Sardine. They were letting me crash at their place while I sorted my life out. Anyway... I was mostly just drinking at Crab’s bar; there on the docks.” Gilda paused for a moment and shrugged. “Good food, cheap drinks, just what I needed while I wallowed in self pity.”

Crab Cake threw a hoof around Gilda, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “So this cute griffon spent three days moping in my bar. I try to cheer her up, but she just gets angrier. So finally, I broke out some lude jokes I knew in griffon.”

“Who ever taught you those jokes should have their wings removed,” Gilda said with a laugh. Looking back to Mr Cake, she continued her story. “I let him take me out to dinner that night, and we ended up at the griffon place called Hook and Fish.”

The couple shared a grin for a moment, then said in unison, “And we both got food poisoning.”

Gilda shook her head at the memory, but still smiled. “I’m pretty sure it was actually scombroid poisoning. We didn’t even make it back to Crab’s bar before the hives and cramps set in.”

Pinkie and Mr. Cake winced in unison, but the reaction only set the odd couple into a fit of giggling.

“We spent the next two days laying on my bathroom floor, cursing the Hook and Fish. I had to let Tipsy run the bar.”

“So this poor stallion has to watch me vomit for two day straight. Cause neither of us have the strength to leave the room. I figure I’ll never be allowed in the bar again, but no. When he’s finally able to stand, he goes and makes me soup and bread.”

“Made us soup and bread,” Cake corrected.

Gilda planted a talon against her mate’s shoulder, and shoved him away from her. “Whatever.” A silent laugh between the two of them hinted at a private joke. “Either way. He cooks better than my mom, seemed to like me, and wasn’t a deadbeat. So I decided to see if we could make things work. A year later he proposed to me.”

“That’s... strangely romantic,” Mr. Cake said.

Dash of Something Different

“What was my time?” Rainbow Dash asked herself.

With panting breath, she flew back to the automatic stopwatch setting on the cloud.

“One minute, forty seconds,” it read.

“What!?” Dash’s feathers bristled at the reading. “That’s a one-second loss from last week!”

“No need to yell.” Discord said, appearing on the cloud next to her.

Dash glared at the chaos god, before deciding to ignore him. Taking out a notebook, she studied the number written in it. On the pages were columns of times, weight, and measurements; they told a story she didn’t like. “This sucks. I just can’t get over this plateau. I can’t gain any more muscle, and my stamina isn’t getting better either.”

“Is there any way I could help?” Discord asked.

Dash sighed, letting the notebook fall to the cloud. “Sure, make me a stallion, so I can gain muscle easier.”

“Well if that’s all.” Discord snapped his fingers, and Rainbow Dash was consumed in a puff of smoke. The air cleared and something different stood where Dash had been. It looked very similar, but the pony’s features were decidedly masculine.

The stallion sat on his haunches, looking at his own body in disbelief. “Whoa. What did you do?”

“Exactly what you asked.” Discord said, holding up his paw to snap the spell away.
“If you don’t like it, I can change you back.”

“NO!” Dash shouted, darting forward to clasp the claw between his hooves. “Please don’t”

“Are you sure?” Discord asked.

Dash nodded his head. “Very.”

Smiling at a job well done, and a friend helped, Discord patted the stallion on the back. “Glad to help, but I must be off. Winter Wrap-up left Fluttershy swamped with chores. I promised I’d help her.” With a crack of magic, Discord was gone.

Dash laughed. Looking over her new body, she marveled at the frame, the muscle tone. She could feel the untapped potential. Standing, she tried to guess her new height. With nothing to compare herself to, it was hard to tell if she was any taller. She was pretty sure she was, but only by a little. Shifting her wings, she spread to wide see what change was there.

“Geez!” Dash gasped at the sight of her own wings. They were bit longer, but her wing’s new width was impressive.

Flexing her broad, powerful wings, she lifted into the air: everything felt familiar. A devil’s grin spread across her face, and with a blur she launched herself into the skies above ponyville.

An hour later, and Dash was satisfied she had pushed her male form to its absolute limits. Every muscled burned in that delicious way that told her she would be sore in the morning. Going into an easy glide, Dash let her pulse slow, and the wind cool her.

If you had asked her the day before, she would have said being a male would feel incredibly strange, but it didn’t. Other than the rather-different sensation in what the wind between her legs felt like, there was very little difference. Tonight, in the privacy of her own home, she would see just what things looked like down there now, but that could wait. Right now, she wanted to show her friend her new body.

A low rumbled Dash’s gut, and a sharp pain told she needed to eat too.

Banking to one side, Dash began her descent.

- - x - - -

Twilight hummed a quiet tune to herself as she mulled threw her castle’s library. It was shaping up nicely with all the book she had acquired for it. She smiled: in a few years, Ponyville would have the best library in Equestria.

“Hey Twilight, you want to go eat?” a stallion’s voice called. It sounded familiar, but she couldn’t place it.

Confusion wrinkling her brow, Twilight walked towards the voice. Coming out of the library’s stacks, she found Rainbow Dash’s father standing in the doorway.

“Oh! Hi Bifröst.” Twilight’s scowl turned into an honest smile. “Sure, I’ll keep you company.”

“What!?” the stallion said, before bellowing into laughter. It was only then that Twilight noticed the stallion was far too young to be Bifröst. “ No, Twilight, it’s me, Rainbow Dash.”

"Dash?!" Twilight trotted clover to look at her friend. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Never better." Dash waved a hoof, dismissing Twilight's concerns. "Discord turned me into a stallion."

"He did what!?" Twilight's feathers bristled. "Don't worry," she said, patting Dash on the withers. "Celesta can change you back. I'll let her know we're coming."

Twilight turned to fetch a quill, but Rainbow's hoof stopped her. The male voice laughed with a soothing warmth.

"No need Twi. It was my idea. I want to stay like this."

Confusion twisted Twilight's face. "Why?"

Dash kicked up onto her hind legs, and unfurled her wings with pride. "Look at this frame, Twilight,” Dash said, flapping her wings in slow even beats to keep herself balanced upright. “It's no where near it's full potential. Do you have any idea what I can do with a stallion's metabolism; they gain muscle way easier than mares."

Twilight tried to look any direction but Rainbow Dash’s, but her eyes couldn't break free from posturing stallion. Some primal instinct sent her wings to fluttering against her will.

“Dash, some modesty!” she finally scolded, regaining herself and looking away.

“Oops, sorry.” With a clack, Dash landed back on all fours, and tucked her wings away. “Guess there’ll be a few things to get used to.”

Walking over to a cushion, Twilight sat down before looking back at her friend. “So, you’re really changing your sex, without so much as batting an eye?”

Dash scoffed at the question. “Of course I am. I mean, other than some change in plumbing, I’m only gaining from this. I’m going to be stronger and faster than I ever could have been as a mare. Besides, if I decide I hate it, I’ll just get Discord or Celestia to change me back.”

“Umm... That’s kinda the point,” Twilight said, watching Dash pace the room. “It’s only reversible for a while, then you’re stuck; no going back. Only alicorns and Discord have enough power to cast the spell, and it takes increasingly more power to undo it over time.”

“So, I got what, a year?”

Twilight shook her head. “It’s nothing formal like that. My guess would be a month, though I could probably figure out a way to give you two.”

Dash paused, and again examined herself. Her chest was so much broader than she was used to, but only her previous muscle mass was on it. “I just can’t give up this potential. Not this fast anyway...” Again her stomach growled, reminding her of why she was her to begin with. “Now how about that lunch?”

An Old Friend

Twilight rolled her eyes at the crass joke, but couldn’t stifle her snicker. “Discord, that was horrible.”

Still grinning, Discord cocked his head with a shrug. “I’m just saying-”

Discord’s expression went sober. Twilight’s gut sank as he spun to face some seemingly random spot on the ceiling. “No.” he whispered, the word more pitiful than any she’d heard. She opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but Discord was gone before she could form the words.

Blinking, Twilight cleared the stars from her eyes. Dread nagged at her. Whatever had happened, had to be bad. “Spike!” She’d send a letter to Celestia, then go check on Fluttershy.

“Spike!” she called again, trotting to her desk for quill and paper.

“What’s wrong?” Spike answered running into the room.

“I’m not sure. We need-”

The flash of Discord’s magic interrupted her. As her eyes cleared she found a gruesome scene on the stone floor. In a quickly growing pool of blood, Discord sat cradling a stallion. Or rather most of one.

The shivering creature was a mess of flesh either burned or pierced with ragged bits of metal. One leg had been torn from the shoulder, and exposed ribs showed things Twilight had hoped to never see.

The stallion whimpered.

“Shh..” Discord cooed with a tone Fluttershy would have been proud of.

Magic crackled around Discord as the blood on the floor slowly reversed it course, marching back into the wounds from which it fell. Twilight could feel reality ripple around her as one by one the shrapnel pulled free and rang against the floor. Discord was breaking rules that even he wasn’t supposed to break. A leg formed from aether, new flesh grew out of burned wounds. Soot fell away from the stallion as gashes closed and fur regrew—revealing his smokey coat to be ivory: a sharp contrast to the jet-black mane.

Discord smiled when the stallion gasped for breath. Reaching out with a paw, Discord covered the stallion’s wild eyes with a paw. “Sleep and forget,” he said, letting the stallion slump to the floor.

As the stallion fell to gentle sleep, Discord’s form seemed to lose its focus. His body faded translucent, and the tips of his tail unraveling into crackling mist. Looking down at the largest bit of shrapnel, Discord smiled as only he could. He gave Twilight a wink. With a grunt, he twisted and pulled at it till it looked like a misplaced unicorn horn.

Again reality twisted in the room, fighting Discord’s magic as he spat on the horn’s broad end then stuck it to the stallion’s forehead. Another wink of magic, and Twilight was looking at a steel-horned unicorn.

“I'm afraid that’s all I can do for him,” Discord said, studying his talons as they began to fade to smoke. “I’m going to have to go heal up from this for a while. Take care of old Tin Heart for me, would you?” he asked, patting Tin Heart’s mark of a wood ax and felt heart.

“Who is he?” Twilight asked, not sure who to be more concerned for.

With effort, Discord opened the door to his home plane. “The first one to try and be my friend. Even before Fluttershy. I never got to repay him. Tell Fluttershy I’ll be fine” A long yawn escaped him as he floated through the hole between worlds. “I just need to sleep this off.”

Reality within the room shifted, sensing Discord’s weakness, it slammed the portal shut.

“What just happened?” Spike asked.

“I have no idea.” Stepping closer to Tin Heart, she scooped him into her magic. "Go get a doctor. I'll put him in a bed."

Author's Note

What if ~~Q~~ Discord saved Data from death?

Alicorns are Sterile

Twilight sighed in contentment; a wonderful meal with engaging conversation. Eating at Celestia’s private table was the biggest perk of her new status. She’d only been an Alicorn for a week: she couldn’t call herself an equal, but she was no longer an outsider.

With a curious eye, she watched as Celestia turned from the table and levitated a little wooden chest. Taking it in hoof, she sat it besides her dinner plate and floated out two iridescent-blue vials. Uncorking one, Celestia consumed its contents as she passed the other to Luna; who did the same.

“What’s that?” Twilight asked.

“It is our foul-tasting salvation,” Luna said, before taking a sip of her tea to wash the taste down.

“It’s a zebra potion for birth control,” Celestia said, setting her cup down. “You’ll want to get some too. I would have given you some of our stock, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you with details that were not immediately relevant to you.”

Twilight’s face twisted in confusion. “But, alicorns are sterile?”

Luna stifled a laugh that threatened to maker her spit tea. Swallowing with effort, she let a warm laugh roll. “No dear Twilight, quite the opposite. We have no heats, because we are always in season.”

“B-but there is no record of you ever having foals: ever!”

Celestia patted the little chest with a smile. “Thanks to our good relations with the zebras, we haven’t in a very long time.”

Luna nodded. “We had quite a few before then, but the records have been lost. But don’t worry, the potions are here for you when you need them.”

“I know how much the idea of getting pregnant scares you, Twilight. But I trust these potions, so you need not fear,” Celestia said placing the chest back on the shelf. Poor Twilight had a crippling fear of pregnancy. Celestia guessed she was the only virgin among her friends. Any other pony she would have handed the potions to immediately.

Turning back to the table, Celestia realized Twilight had turned rather pale, and seemed to be struggling to stay upright.

“Are you alright?” Luna asked before Celestia could get the words out.

“I thought alicorns were sterile,” Twilight said to the floor.

Luna eased up from her seat, and walked around the table to Twilight. “It’s a common misconception, keeps the nobles for trying to bolster their bloodlines.”

“I’ve had sex seven time in the last three days... ”

Luna jolted. That was a bit impressive.

“How did you not get a bladder infection?” Celestia asked.

Twilight cradled her head in her hooves. “I’m pregnant, I just know it.”

“It’s okay Twilight,” Luna said, placing a wing over her. “Lets go down and visit Doc Frost Hooves.”

“You’re pregnant,” the doctor said, casting his blue magic over the vile of blood.

Twilight giggled, threw up in the bucket she was clutching, then giggled some more.

“In other good news, your swab came back clean. No urinary tract infections,” the doctor continued.

“Wash before and after, drink lots of cranberry juice,” Twilight mumbled.

Frost Hooves nodded in agreement to Twilight’s words. “I’ll have some prenatal vitamins waiting for you at the desk,” he said before leaving the room.

With a nervous giggle, Twilight pulled the bucket closer to her chest. Staring into the void between Celestia and Luna, she worked her jaw several times before speaking. “I wanted to for so long, I was afraid. Then poof, one day I was sterile. Let’s celebrate, I thought,”

Celestia rested a wing over Twilight back. “It’s not that bad. The first nine months are kinda fun, the last three can be a bit uncomfortable. Plenty of mares your age have foals, and you’re not going to have to worry about it slowing down you carer.”

Twilight shrugged, that was a small concession. She was a princess now, having a foal would affect that little. Still the thought of the rapidly dividing zygote in her womb disturbed her.

“My I ask who the father is?” Luna asked

Setting the bucket down, Twilight slid to her hooves. “Ponyville’s watchmaker. He’s a really sweet guy, good at math. We’ve flirted since I moved to Ponyville. Finally got brave enough to ask him out at Pinkie’s post-coronation party, party. Needless to say I pushed things a bit fast.”

Walking out of the room, Twilight picked up the little bottle of vitamins waiting for her on the recopenist’s desk. Reading the label, she frowned till making the effort to smile at the poor receptionist sitting in front of her. “Thank you,” she told the mare, brofer tucking the bottle away.

“Ponies will have to be told, and decisions will have to be made,” Celestia said, using her magic to hold the door open for the three. “They can wait for now though. Take a week to let the idea settle in. Gather your friends and family around you.”

“Do not hesitate to count us among those friends and family,” Luna added.

Twilight smiled at Luna’s words. “I think right now, I’d just like to go back to Ponyville. I owe it to Time Turner to tell him first.”

Stepping off the train, Twilight sighed. This was going to be a long day. The guards had tried to take her home by chariot, but she needed time to think. The long droning trip in the train had been a little piece of normal that she need.

She needed a bath before anything else. Hot water to sooth her tension, and washout the smell of vomit from her coat. Collecting her magic around her, Twilight winked out of existence, appearing in front of her library. She reached for the door, but paused. There was a little note pinned to it. Pulling out the pin, she floated the note closer to read.

r = a(1-cos θ)
Time Turner

“Aww... ” Twilight cooed.

Five Unexpected Conversations.

Twilight groaned, wincing away from the sun-lit window.

“You okay?” Spike asked.

“Yeah.” Twilight levitated an icy glass of dark tea to her lips. “Just estrus kicking in.”

Spike laughed. “I got so used to you being a stallion, I’d forgotten about that.” He paused to giggle at the memory. “You could always see if Applebloom can figure out how to make that potion again.”

“Ha ha,” Twilight said, her ears laying back. “One month as a stallion was enough for me. I'm lucky we found a cure.”

“Oh, come on.” Spike opened the icebox to refill Twilight’s moon tea. “You were enjoying it there at the end.

“Thank you, Spike.” A whimsical smile stretched across Twilight’s face as she held her glass out for Spike to fill. “And yeah, I did enjoy that last week.”

“Well,” Spike closed the icebox, then walked back to the backpack he'd sat on the kitchen table.. “While you’re hiding from the sun today, I think I’m going to hang out with Sweetie Belle. They said something about going swimming,” he said before hefting the pack onto his shoulders and heading towards the door.

“Have fun,” Twilight replied as Spike turned to leave. She rolled her eyes and smiled at the unmistakable imprint of condoms in one of the bag’s pockets.

Honestly, two months ago, she would have freaked out at the sight, but a month as a stallion had changed a lot of her thoughts on sex.

She started to go search for a good book to keep her company in the basement, but the sound of Spike talking to somepony at the front door made her pause.

“Fluttershy is here,” Spike called back.

“Oh!” Twilight brightened, her ears focusing forward. “I’m in the kitchen, Fluttershy.”

The door closed. Spike’s footsteps were gone, but the timid gate of Fluttershy could be heard gradually coming nearer.

“Hey Fluttershy!” Twilight greeted as she entered the room. “Started your heat too? Want some moon tea?”

“Umm... No.” Fluttershy looked about the room before meeting Twilight’s eyes. “That’s kinda what I need to talk to you about.”

Twilight only answered with a confused look.

“I didn’t start my heart this month, because I’m pregnant.”

Silence hung over the room. Twilight worked her jaw trying to speak. “It’s mine.” she finally said. No point in asking. She knew well Fluttershy had only had sex with one stallion last month.

Fluttershy nodded.

“I...” Twilight looked to her own flank with bewilderment. “I should have been sterile. I shouldn’t have had any spermatogonium.”

“Well.” Fluttershy took a breath. “I even got the blood test from Nurse Red Heart, it seems you weren’t.”

Twilight hung her head. “I'm sorry.”

Two wings enveloped Twilight in a warm hug. “Don’t be,” Fluttershy said, laying her neck against hers.

“You’re not upset?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy pulled back just enough to look into Twilight’s eyes. “Not at all. I was worried you’d be upset.”

The worry on Fluttershy’s face ached Twilight's heart. “No.” Twilight shook her head. “I’m a bit confused, but I couldn’t be mad.”

“Really!” Fluttershy said, her voice ringing with happiness. “You’re okay with me having your foal?”

Twilight couldn’t help but smile at the joy shining in Fluttershy’s eyes. “I think you’ll be a great mother.”

“Oh, thank you!” Fluttershy squeezed Twilight into a hug. “I think you were the only stallion I could ever really relax around. I didn’t know if I was ever going to have foals.”

Twilight returned the embrace. “I’m glad you’re happy. We should-”

Rarity’s voice interrupted her. “Twilight,” Rarity sang out from the grand hall. “I have the most incredible news!”

Fluttershy and Twilight separated from their embrace just in time to see Rarity dance into the room.

“Fluttershy, Twilight, Isn't life just wonderful?” Rarity sang, prancing towards them.

Twilight shared a smile with Fluttershy, then looked back to Rarity. “Yeah, it’s a pretty good day. What has you in such a good mood?”

“Well.” Rarity slid a chair back for the kitchen table, then sat with a dramatic pose. “That night of passion we shared, it has felt me carrying a little princess,” she said resting a hoof on her belly. “Oh!” her eyes lit up with excitement. “Or a little prince! Wouldn't that be exciting! I will have to sketch out some designs for a little royal colt.”

“You’re pregnant too?” Fluttershy asked before Twilight could.

“Too?” Rarity asked.

“I found out yesterday,” Fluttershy answered.

Rarity squealed, clapping her hooves in delight. “Let’s raise them like siblings.”

“Hey Twilight.” Rainbow Dash said, flying into the room with a disgruntled expression.

Twilight hid her face behind her hooves. “Oh no...”

“You want to tell me again about how you’re not able to get a mare pregnant?” Dash asked landing beside Fluttershy.

“I’m so sorry.” Twilight mumbled through her hooves.

“Na...” Dash waved off the apology with a hoof. “I was kinda pissed at first, but then I figured if I ever was going to have a foal, now was probably the best time. It really won’t affect my flying carrier right now, and I’m young enough to spring back.” She smiled and flared her wings. “It’ll be fun teaching my little squirt how to fly, and my parents will be more than happy to foalsit.

Rarity fainted.

Fluttershy checked on Rarity, then looked to Dash. “Twilight got us pregnant too.”

“Oh cool!” Dash said. “I’ll have a whole little flock to teach.”

“Who ya teaching what?” Applejack asked, walking into the room.

Dash pointed a wing towards Twilight, who curled up on the floor at the sight of Applejack. “Twilight knocked the tree of us up that night.”

“Make that the four of us.” Walking over to Twilight, she patted her on the withers. “Welcome to the family.”

“Thanks...” Twilight managed to say.

“Hey Twilight!” Pinkie cheered, bouncing into the room.

Twilight hid her head under her wing. “Oh no.”

“Guess who’s got a bun in the oven!”

“I’m uh...” Twilight forced herself back onto her hooves. “I’m going to be right back.”

Pinkie blinked, watching Twilight stagger off into the next room. “She okay?” Pinkie asked.

Dash gave Pinkie a smile. “She’s just a little overwhelmed. Seems that night we talked her into helping us with our heats, ended up with all five of us pregnant.”

“Oh!” Pinkie bounce on her hooves. “So we're like, a heard now, and Twilight’s our stud.”

Applejack chuckled. “Kinda, except no sex, since she an’t got that equipment anymore.”

“That is a bit of a problem,” Rarity said as Fluttershy helped her back up. “I don’t care to go celibate and finding a stallion when you have a foal already isn’t easy.”

Fluttershy nodded. “It was good sex, too.”

“Meh...” Dash shrugged. “Had better, had worse.”

“Cut me some slack,” A male voice said. “It was my first time, I was nervous.”

“Twilight?” the five asked in unison.

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “I kept some of the potion so I could research it. But what the hay. If I’m going to the the father of five, I may as well be a stallion too.”

Who are You?

“Who are you?” the voice rumbled from the darkness. Luna spun to face it, but even her eyes could not pierce that blackness. Pacing within the circle of light, she dared not trespass into the shadow.

“Who are you!” the voice demanded this time.

“I am Luna!”

“No. That is your name,” the voice said in either disappointment or boredom; Luna couldn’t tell.

“Who are you?” it asked again.

Luna squared her posture, glaring towards the voice. “I am Princess Luna, sovran of Equestria, and incarnate of the moon.”

Thunder racked Luna’s body as the voice bellowed, “No!”

“That is your title.” The voice explained. “What others call you when they dare not use your name. Now, who are you? Nightmare Moon perhaps?”

“No! That... was what I called myself when I was wrong.”

“So you were Nightmare Moon, but now who are you?”

“I.. do not know.”

“You move the heavens, and rule a nation, but do not know who you are?” The voice seemed truly concerned with this situation.

Luna sat in silence, her eyes tracing the line where light met black. A circle of light in a sea of black. It was unfortunately familiar.

“I do not move the moon, I guide it. And I do not rule the ponies, I protect them,” Luna said absently, more to herself than the voice. Still, she awaited the scolding for another errant answer, but only silence came.

A crooked smile came to Luna’s face with a laugh, “I am a shepherdess”, but sad eyes still traced the circle that held her. “Surrounded by my flock, I am alone in the night.”

Time for a House Raising

Time for a House Raising

Rainbow Dash landed on the Apple porch, and let herself in. Taking a seat in the vestibule, she began to peel off her flight suit; taking time to relax and savor the sounds of dinner being prepared.

“Oh, Hey Dash. How was work?” Applejack asked.

“It was fine. Is Mac in yet?” Dash rose to her hooves, and hung the uniform on its peg.

Applejack nodded. “He’s in the kitchen.”

Following Applejack through the living room and into the kitchen, she found Mac in the middle of cooking for the family. Turning away from the stove, Big Mac smiled at her; a wooden spoon still in his teeth.

“I’m pregnant.”

Mac fainted.

Applejack hit the floor second, only because her sides cramped from laughing. Clutching her ribs, she grimaced in pain, but her laughter only came harder.

Between the thud and the bellowing laughter, it was no surprise that she didn’t hear Applebloom and Granny Smith come down the stairs; only becoming aware of them when Granny patted her on the withers as she walked by.

Pulling the spoon from her limp grandson’s grasp, she stirred whatever was on the stove, giving it a critical eye. “Guess we’ll have a house raisin’ in the spring,” she mused to nopony in particular.

“I’m going to be an aunt!?” Applebloom cheered.

Dash sighed and ran a hoof through Applebloom’s mane. “Looks like it.”

Applejack’s cackles faded to snickers as she pulled herself up off the floor. Limping from the cramp, she wandered into the living room.

The hard rap of spoon against the pan brought Dash’s attention back Granny Smith. Again she tapped the spoon to shake off the cooking barley. This time Granny’s gaze met hers, then drifted to the limp stallion.

Shaking her head, Dash took a glass from the cupboard, and the bottle of applejack from its hiding spot. Splashing some into the glass, she held it over Mac’s muzzle. The thick fumes of the frost-jacked cider jolted Mac awake. Shaking his head and coughing, he found his hooves and slowly sat up. Pouring a bit more applejack into the glass Dash looked longingly into the glass, before setting it on the counter next to Mac.

Taking the glass of golden spirits, Mac moved over to the table and sat down, chuckling as his face twitched.

“Applebloom,” Granny called. “Help me get dinner on the table.”

With dinner on the table, Applejack reemerged with her reading glasses on, and a monstrously thick book on her back. Taking her seat at the table with the rest of the family, she laid the book down next to her plate. It was then Dash recognized it as a Seers&MoreBuck catalog.