Oh no *EDITED*
Chapter edited by the criticism of Enter Madness. I hope I made some parts better
Do you know the situation when you wish for something and it turned out not like you imagined it?
Well, me too.
My name’s NC and I’m 19 years old. I’m your average Brony, I watch the show every Saturday morning with some friends, my favourite ponies are Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy and I also got some figurines.
And like all Bronies, I wish for living in Equestria, because I’m sick of the violence in our world, why can’t life here be like in Equestria? I know it’s just a fictional place, but if we were just a bit more like them, life could be so much easier and peaceful.
I wake up just like every other morning, with no enthusiam to get up. But since I have no choice at all, I get up. After a little breakfast I get ready for work. With a sigh, I close the front door and head off to the company where I’m working.
On my way, I always look around to experience the beauty of nature:
The sky is so beautifully blue, the birds are singing, not a single cloud is on the sky, the sun is shining…
… and I have to spend all day sitting behind a table in a sticky office.
I always try to notice all the things mother nature has to offer, but I need to hurry so I won’t be late. I almost got fired once because I took my walk to work a little too long (I arrived over 30 minutes too late).
As I walk down the way, my eyes catch a little shop:
"Curiosities of the ancient world" as it says on the sign.
"Well, I still got some minutes, and a little look can't hurt."
I enter the the dimlighted shop, which is full of things you don't see every day:
Voodoo dolls, pendants ornated with teeth, miniature mummies, books who say they'll show things you witness in your nightmares only. But one particular item gets my full attention:
A golden shining oil lamp.
I reach out my hands to touch the lamp, but a voice from behind stops me:
"YOU TOUCH IT, YOU BUY IT!" I almost got a heart attack and turn around to find the source of the voice.
Behind a table in the back of the shop I see an old man, reading the news paper.
"Gee, grandpa! No need to yell!" I say to the old man. He respons with slowly looking up from his papers, saying with a husky voice:
"These artifacts are from the depths of the ancient world. Artifacts, who the world thinks are only fiction and I risked my life for finding each of them. And I can't sell those damn things if your little fingerprints are all over them!"
“Hm, I gotta say this thing looks rather interesting” I say while looking at the lamp.
"Ah, the Genie lamp!" says the old man.
"Excuse me?"
He gets up from his table and walks towards me with his hands behind his back.
"I found this lamp in the desert of Saudi-Arabia 20 years ago. It is said whoever rubs it will become the master of the Genie. But be careful, the locals warned me; they say Genies are evil spirits who will grant any wish their master give them, but they'll turn them around for their favour!"
A magical Genie lamp? Really?
"How much do you want for this little piece of trash?"
"30$"
"WHAT?! Way too much, gramps!" I say while heading for the exit.
"Fine, have it your way. But imagine, any wish you got may come true beacuse of this 'little piece of trash'." says the old man.
"Tell you what, I'll give to your for 20, if you promise to be careful!"
"20$ still seem to be a bit much, but this thing will look nice in my office!" I say while handing over some bucks.
"Thank you and come back soon!" says the old man in a happy tone.
Looking on my watch, I notice I still have 20 minutes before I have to arrive at work, so I decide to take a look on the old lamp: It is shining in golden tones when the sun beams hit it and words in an ancient writing are engraved all over it. Also, it got a nice amount of dirt on it. "Bet the old fart never cleaned it because he fears the 'evil Genie'."
After I while, I decide to rub the lamp to see if something would happen.
“I must look so stupid standing here rubbing a lamp.”.
Suddenly, the lamp begins to glow brightly.
“WHOA! WHAT THE HELL?!” I scream while smoke starts to emerge from the tip of the lamp.
The smoke manifests into a big, blue Genie with stinging crimsons eyes, black hair which is laced into a ponytail and he has a goat beard.
“Who dares to rub my lamp?” he says with a god-like voice.
“Th-th-that’d be m-m-m-e!” I say while lying on the ground, shaking.
He looks down at me.
“Oh? You little coward rubbed my lamp? HA! After 1000 years, all I get is a little pussy who is about to piss himself like he’s seeing a ghost” he laughs.
“Hey!” I yell at the Genie.
“Gee, take a joke, man!” The Genie says annoyed.
“So, do I get this right? I rubbed the lamp, so you have to grant me any three wishes I got?” I ask.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down dude” says the Genie “Who said you get three wishes?”
“What? I thought Genies always grant three wishes!”
“Well, dude..”
“Don’t call me so, I’m not your ‘dude’ I’m your master!”
“Whatever. You see, the thing is this: I got a little tired of this whole Genie thing, so you little twerp only get one wish, got it? And don’t you dare come with ‘I wish for more wishes’, ‘cause if you do that I’ll kick your ass, got it?”
I reply with a simple nod.
“Good. So, what doth thy heart desire, master?” he asks mockingly.
“I wish to live in Equestria” I say after thinking for about a minute.
“Excuse me?” the genie asks confused.
“You know, Equestria? The place where the ponies from ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ are living?”
He looks at me for while and starts to laugh.
“Pfft, are you kidding me?! You’re a grown man and you’re watching a show for little girls? HAHAHAHA! You’re even more pathetic than I thought!”
“Shut up!” I yell with my face turning red of anger. “I said my wish, now grant it you ass!”
He looks at me with an evil smile “Your wish is my command, master.”
He snapps his fingers and the world around me turns black.
I slowly begin to wake up, finding myself lying in the Everfree Forest.
“Wow, this place is really as creepy as they describe it in the show” I think while looking around.
Spooky looking trees over here, poisonous plants other there, mischievous sounds everywhere. But most importantly, everything looks so BIG. I don't remember trees being that tall. Maybe everything is a bit bigger here, they don't call the show "My LITTLE Pony" without a reason.
I'm filled with joy. “I can’t believe I’m actually here! This is the best day of my life!”
Suddenly, I hear a voice in my head: “Well, master, how do you like it?”
“This is awesome!"
“Good to hear! Now, why don’t you walk to that lake over there to get a look on your new self?”
Wondering what he means by that, I try to get up, only to notice that I’m not a human anymore.
I got turned into a pony.
“Oh sweet Celestia, this day is getting better and better!”
After some time to figure out on how to walk on four hooves, I manage to get to the lake to see my new self.
All joy I felt before vanished at once.
In the lake staring at me is the picture of a one month old unicorn foal with brown fur, cream mane and tail and blood red eyes. I shake my head in fear, hoping this wasn’t me. I become more horrified as I see the reflection doing the exact thing.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” was what I wanted to say, but only a single “Gah” comes out of my mouth.
My eyes widen. I try again to say something, but again only a single “Gah” comes out.
“Nonononononono!”
I hear a laugh in the back of my head.
“HAHAHAHAHAHA! How do you like it, master?” says the Genie.
Boiling with anger, I shout back at him “THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED, YOU DICK!”
“Tsk, tsk,” he scolds “Little colt, watch your language” he says with a sadistic smirk on his face.
“I don’t know why you’re so angry, I granted your wish as you said.”
“I DIDN’T WISH TO BE TURNED INTO BABY! I SIMPLY WISHED TO BE IN EQUESTRIA!”
“And I granted your wish to be here.” He says. “However, you never said HOW you wanted to look like when you arrive here. So, I decided to turn you into this little foal. You look soooooooooo cute!
“WELL THEN, GET ME BACK TO MY WORLD. I’D RATHER BE IN A WORLD THAT’S NOT AS PEACEFUL AS THIS THAN BEING A BABY!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
My eyes widen, as I say in a shocked tone: “What did you say?”
“As I told you, master, you only get ONE wish. And I granted ONE wish.”
“Does that mean I have to remain like this?"
“Eeyup.”
I fall on my butt, not believing it. "I have to spend my life being a baby?"
“Well, my job here is done. Ta-ta” Says the Genie before vanishing from my thoughts.
“Wait!” I cry, but it was too late…
It is a beautiful morning at the Carousel Boutique. Rarity slowly opens her eyes, lets out a yawn and gets up. She trots to bathroom and begins to comb her purple mane, until she got the look she likes. After that, she adds some make-up and bushes her teeth. Walking out of the bathroom, humming a happy tone, she knocks at Sweetie Belle's door.
"Sweetie Belle, darling, it's time to get up!"
A grunt from inside comes as the only response.
"Oh, come now darling, you have to get ready for school!" Rarity says while walking into the room of the filly.
"But I don't wanna!"
"Sweetie Belle, I'm disappointed! How do you ever want to be successful if you don't go to school? It is very important for you!"
"But it's sooooooooooooooooooooo boring, especially history!" says the white little unicorn in a whiny tone.
"I know darling, I had to go through it, too. But look at me now, I'm one of the most successful fashion designers, and without a proper education, you won't bring it anywhere in this world."
"I guess you're right" sighs the filly, getting up.
"And I'll make waffles for breakfast~!" sings Rarity.
"YAY! WAFFLES!" says Sweetie Belle as she bolts out of the room.
"She's such a sweetie! I can't wait to have children of my own." she chuckles, walking down the stairs.
After a tasty breakfast, Sweetie Belle is packing her saddle bags for school.
"After school Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and I are going to crusade for our Cutie Marks," says the filly "and we plan to sleepover at Applejack's. If that's okay for you."
"Of course darling, I don't mind it," Rarity says "but please promise me not to go into the Everfree Forest."
"OK" says Sweetie Belle and heads for school.
With a smile on her face, Rarity goes to her working table, looking through the order from Sapphire Shores.
“Hm, I sure got a lot of stuff to do. Sapphire Shores ordered 20 new dresses for her upcoming tourney and somehow I have the feeling diamonds won't do it."
Looking through her design scrolls, an idea hits her.
“I~DEA!” she shouts and pushes the scrolls away.
“Oh, how could I be so blind? Diamonds on a dress for Sapphire Shores are too common and boring! I want something new and exotic! But what to use?”
She walks pondering through the room, waiting for an idea to hit her again. She looks at the Everfree Forest, and she got it.
“HA! I got it now!” She quickly grabbs her saddle bags.
“Why didn’t I see this before? Zecora’s mystical artifacts will look nice as motives on Sapphire Shore’s dresses! Maybe she’s willing to let me draw them!”
As she trots through Ponyville, aiming for the forest, she sees Spike walking towards her.
“Hey Rarity!” he joyfully says.
“Why, hello there darling! How are you this morning?” she says to the little purple dragon.
“I’m fine, thanks! Twilight just wants me to tell you that she invites you over for dinner this evening. “
“ Oh, thank you Spike. I’d be happy to join you two” she says with a smile. “I just need to do some things in the Everfree Forest, I’ll come as quickly as I can!”
“Th-the Everfree Forest?” he says in fear.
“Yes Spike, the Everfree Forest”
“B-b-but it’s d-d-dangerous in there!
“Oh, come now Spike! I’m aware of the dangers, but don’t worry. I won’t stay long”
“A-a-are you s-s-sure about it?”
“Yes I am Spike. Sapphire Shores just made an order for 20 dresses and diamonds wouldn’t make them special. But it’s so sweet of you that you’re concerned about me”
She gives him a kiss on the cheek, which makes him faint.
She chuckles as she continues walking towards the dark forest.
She regrets her decision of going here.
“Oh Celestia, WHY? WHY DO I HAVE TO MAKE EVERYTHING EXTRAVAGANT?” She thinks while walking through the darkness, with only her horn spending her light.
“Why can't I just make them with diamonds? They’re at least safe to get!”
Abandoning the idea of having Zecora's artefacts as decorations for the dresses, she turns around to leave.
But suddenly, her ears catch a noice from the distance.
“Hm? What could that be?" She says to herself.
She starts walking towards the noise, which sounds like a babbling baby.
As she moves away a branch, she saw in fact a foal stomping on the ground, babbling “GAH! GAH! GAH!”
"What is a foal doing in this horrbile place? Oh that poor thing, look how sad he is."
“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” I try to shout while stomping on the ground with my forelegs.
“Why does life hate me so much? What did I do that I deserve such a grim fate?!”
Suddenly, I witness something walking towards me. I look up, only to see a white unicorn mare with purple hair and beautiful blue eyes known as Rarity.
“Oh, my sweet darling! What is a cute little colt like you doing here?” she says dramatically.
“Help me!” was what I want to say, but only a “Gah” comes out. Her horn starts to glow, as a blue aura appears around me, levitating me into her forelegs.
“Oh, don’t worry my poor little thing. Mama Rarity will get you out this dreadful forest!”
She give me a kiss on my forehead and levitates me into one of her saddlebags.
“I can walk on my own!” I try to get out of the saddle bag, but she stops me with one of her hooves.
“Hush, my little one!” She says motherly. “I don’t want you to get hurt!”
No matter what I try, she simply won't let me out of that bag. Seeing that resistance is futile, I stay in the bag, murmuring to myself.
“That’s a good little colt!” Rarity happily says and pads my head.
“Now, let’s get out of here!”
How can anyone endure her? I mean, she talks like a waterfall! On our way to her home, she just doesn't want to shut up!
"My poor little thing, how could your parents be so mean to you? I know I wished for children, but not like this! Don't you worry, Mama Rarity will take good care of you"
Just great. I wish to be in Equestria and end up being a foal and my least favourite pony of the Mane 6 decides to be my mother.
After I while we finally arrive at her home, the Carousel Boutique. She enters the store and puts the saddle bags down on the floor. I slowly crawl out of the saddle bag, looking through the room. This place is huge!
“Wow! This place is bigger than I thought!” I think and look at all the dresses and mannequins.
“WA-HA-HAAAAAAA!” I hear someone yell. I turn around to see a shocked Rarity.
“Oh my sweet, poor little darling! Look how dirty you are!”
I look at her confused and proceeded to look at my body. Oh boy, am I dirty. It was too dark back in the forest to witness it, but here in the lightened room you can see it perfectly.
“It looks like somepony needs a bath!” Rarity sings with a happy tone.
“No fucking way!” I try to run. Too bad Rarity witnesses it and her magic stops me.
“Ah, ah! I simply can’t let you little darling be so dirty!” she says as she trots into the bathroom, me floating behind her.
We enter the room and I see alot of beauty products: Creams, powders, mascara, eyeliners, perfumes, the list goes on.
"No wonder Spike fell in love with her. I wonder how long she stays here every morning."
I hear a bathtub being filled with water and I see where this is going. She lifts me over the tub and releases her magic, causing me to fall into the water. I feel how she pours lavender-smelling shampoo over my head, and begins to scrub me.
“Now darling, hold still! I don’t want to hurt you!” she says while I try my best to flee from her. No use. Her magic holds me no matter what I try.
“Oh, why must you be so stubborn?”
She continues to scrub all over my body, and after about 30 minutes the procedure finaly ends.
As she rubbs me dry with a towel, I notice a smile on her face.
“My, now you look much better sweetie!”
“Whatever!” I sigh.
Suddenly, she levitates me onto a table.
“Ugh, what now?” I think as I look up to see what she’s doing. My eyes widen with shock as I see her approaching me with a diaper.
“OH NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!”
“Thank Celestia I still have some of these after I foalsitted Pound and Pumpkin Cake," Rarity says to herself. "Why did Pinkie have to eat all those cupcakes? I told her she would get a tummy-ache." She turns to me with a smile on her face.
"Now, darling, hold still”
I try again to run away from her and was almost down the table, but her a blue aura engulfs me again and brings me back onto the table.
“Ugh, darling what am I going to do with you?” she says annoyed. “Can’t you see I just want your best? Now, hold still”
My manliness is suffering. All through the process she keeps saying how cute I am.
Finally, that embarassing part ends as she levitates me off the table into her forelegs and hugs me.
“WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?” I wiggle in her forelegs.
“I bet you’re only so cranky because you’re hungry! Wait, just let me get you some milk.”
We walk into the kitchen where she puts me into a highchair. While I try my best to get out, she prepares a bottle with milk. It wasn’t too long as she approaches me with the it floating next to her.
“Now, be a good colt and open your mouth!”
"No way."
“Come now, you have to drink!” she says as she tries to put the tip of the bottle into my mouth. I turn my head away, trying to avoid it, but in the end she succeeds to get me to drink
“Aw, that’s a good colt!” Rarity happily says.
Fuck my life.
