Seitilibisnopser

by Gylden_Glør

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Random, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6
Length: 1972

Twilight has always experimented on living things with a hardened resolve. But will that change?

Twilight has always considered herself the purest of intellectuals.
She has never felt remorse for her studies, because she has never had anything to be remorseful on.
All dissections were performed upon organisms that had died of natural causes, and any experimentation on live animals has always been done with the help of Fluttershy, to assure the best possible conditions.
But now, she's found a strange something in her small town that she calls home. A something that may change her, and may change how she works, forever.

This is an idea I had out of the blue whilst watching Markiplier. (Yes, TwattyCake, I like Markiplier and I will mention him every chance I get. Deal with it.) It's essentially a reversal of Responsibilities, which is on my user page because it's by me. So I don't have to give credit for my own ideas. Suck it, copyrights!

Published 2012-11-16 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-16 23:40:01 UTC

The Thing

Twilight slammed the door to her library shut, and began frantically searching for her trusty dragon assistant.

"Spike? Spike!? SPIIIIIIIIIKE!?"

"What?" The young dragon asked, emerging from the entrance to the basement; his chest heaving. "What happened? Is Discord back? Chrysalis? King Sombra?"

Twilight shook her head to each one, and, instead, pulled out a bundle of cloths from her saddle. "I found...This, in a bed of petunias by the Mayor's office."

Spike eyed the lumpy linens doubtfully . "So...You found bed sheets?"

Twilight silently pulled back the layers of linen, to reveal...

"SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT IS THAT!?"

Before him was what seemed to be a living bag of flesh. It looked like a dragon, but at a glance, you could tell it was not, mostly due to a profound lack of scales. It had two stubby lets with five toes on each foot, and two stubby arms with five...claws? Talons? Thingies. Five thingies on each...Hand? Yeah, hand. And its stomach wasn't like pony or dragon, but a small bulb of...flesh, with a small indentation, the origins of which were a mystery.

Above its arms was a fat neck, and a grotesque face, with two eyes, a nose, and a mouth. It had no teeth, and strange ears. Atop its head was a shiny spot of, you guessed it, flesh.

The only part of its body that was covered by something that wasn't flesh was the pristine diaper between its legs.

"I don't know," Twilight said, backing away in repulsion. "But it's disgusting...Plus, it has a weird...Thing, between its legs...I put a diaper on it, because it kept peeing a pooping in my saddle. Speaking of which..." She took off her saddle, and dumped it in Spike's arms. The young dragon almost vomited due to the smell of urine and feces, but then remembered that Twilight had to wear that thing. "Could you clean that for me?"

"Sure, I'll get on it as soon as we find out what this thing is," he responded, carrying it over to a pile marked "Priority Laundry".

The telltale sound of magic warned Spike to duck and cover as hundreds of books flew to Twilight's attention, the lavender unicorn inspecting each and every one in increasing frustration.

She flung the books every-which-way, shouting in frustration. "None of my biology books mention this kind of thing!"

"How would you know? You flipped through ten of them before you threw them around the room," Spike responded with a disgruntled attitude. "Now I have to clean it all up again..."

Twilight sighed, and poked at the flabby organism with a hoof. "Maybe Celestia would know what it is..."

"What about Fluttershy?"

Twilight blinked, and grinned wide. "Of course! Fluttershy would know what it is!"

And, with that, she, and the thing, disappeared in a flash of light, leaving Spike to clean the room.

"Well...Just...Well." Spike grumbled. He couldn't think of anything clever to say, so he just let whatever he was trying to say dwindle into silence.

Fluttershy smiled as several of her small, furry friends frolicked in the basking light of the afternoon sun. It was truly peaceful, and-

A flash of light and a loud pop sent the timid Pegasus into "flee" mode, and she dove into a bush to her right. "Fluttershy?"

The butter Pegasus poked her head out in relief, and saw her lavender, horned friend.

"Hi, Twilight. Uh, if you don't mind me asking...Why are you here?"

In response, the lavender unicorn extricated the being from the bundles. It giggled and shrieked as she levitated it in front of Fluttershy.

"I was hoping you'd know what this thing is," Twilight explained, holding back vomit as the little...thing's arms wiggled.

"No, I...Oh, Celestia, what is this?" The butter Pegasus backed up as the organism reached out to touch her. Despite her love for all living beings, she couldn't get over the flab of this thing.

"Then Celestia it is then," Twilight sighed. However, before she could do that, a rainbow Pegasus swooped down, gracefully-

Crashing into the ground, tearing up a small bed of flowers as she did so.

"Sorry, Flutters," she said as she walked over. "I was just dropping in to-OH CELESTIA WHAT THE BUCK IS THAT THING!?"

She backed up, and tripped over her own tail. She continued pushing herself backwards, careful not to get too close.

"Are you...scared, Rainbow?" Twilight asked. The cyan Pegasus, rather than answering, bolted towards the organism and grabbed it, causing it to giggle and shriek in excitement.

"We should bring it to Celestia," Rainbow Dash declared. Her skin crawled as she felt the organism's fur-less skin move in her hooves, but she didn't dare let it show. "She'll know what to do. Get everypony else and meet me there!"

As the rash Pegasus took off, her tail was enveloped in a purple glow, and all her momentum ceased.

"No, we'll all together. We don't want to risk that thing hurting you, Rainbow."

The cyan Pegasus huffed in anger, and glared at her unicorn friend. "Seriously? I can take care of myself with some little weird thing!"

Twilight frowned, keeping the rash mare grounded with concentration and magic. "We don't know what it is, nor what it can do. We've got to make sure nopony gets hurt." She extricated the thing from Rainbow Dash's hooves, and placed it back in her saddle. "I'll wait for all of you at the train station. Rainbow Dash, go get everypony and meet me there."

Rainbow Dash saluted, and flew off to get the other ponies. Twilight and Fluttershy took off towards the train station, the two of them mindful of the thing in the unicorn's saddle. They were awarded many strange glances as they passed various ponies, mostly due to the laughing thing in Twilight's saddle.

When they finally reached the station, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack were already there. In a response to her questioning glance, Rainbow Dash told Twilight that "lover boy was helping Rarity with her jewelry for their five second trip to Canterlot."

After a half hour, Rarity trotted into the station, and Spike crawled in, precariously balancing several bags on his small back. They all wordlessly boarded the train, as Twilight's expression warranted no conversation. Once they were all on, Twilight removed the organism from her bag, and plopped it down on the table in the center of the compartment.

Rarity moved back in disgust, frowning at the organism. Applejack stuck her tongue out in nauseated disgust, and Pinkie Pie merely cocked her head in curiosity.

"Whatever is this thing, Twilight?" Rarity asked, her voice wavering dramatically. "It's simply...Disgusting!"

Twilight sighed, and simply left the organism to its own mechanisms as the train started to leave the stations. "I don't know. That's why we're going to Canterlot. Now, nopony talk to me; I have to make a report for Celestia about this thing and what I know about it so far..."

Her friends remained respectfully silent as she took out a paper and quill, and began to document any and all observations she could make at the time. By the time she was done, the train stopped again, and the friendly shine of Canterlot filled the train.

The friends exchanged no words as they ran through Canterlot, and to the legendary castle. It took a mere smile from Twilight for the guards to let them through, as each and every one knew her by name.

They sprinted to the Princess' throne room, and were immediately greeted with the utmost hospitality by the two Princesses.

"Twilight! What a pleasure to see you! And your friends! What brings you here, my faithful student?" Celestia exclaimed in excitement.

"What are you doing here?" Luna demanded, frowning at the seven ponies in front of her. "Can't you tell we're busy?"

Celestia sighed, and smiled at her student. "Don't mind my sister; she's very cranky today. Now...What brings you-What is that?" Celestia cried as Twilight presented the strange organism. Twilight frowned, and placed it before the princesses, who both retreated from it as if it were cancerous.

"I was hoping you would know," Twilight responded, "but I guess that's a moot point now."

Luna frowned in an expression of utmost disgust, and poked at the being with her hoof. "This thing disturbs us," she muttered, before moving behind Celestia for protection.

Twilight walked up to Celestia, and presented her report.

"It seems to follow the mannerisms of babies," she dictated, "and is roughly the same size of a baby pony. This leads me to believe that it is a baby of whatever species it belongs to.

"Secondly, its body is covered in fur-less skin, which leads one to assume that its internal body temperature is greater than that of ponies.

"It has four appendages, all ending in hands and feet, with twenty digits in total. Due to the presence of a head on this side of the body," she continued, pointing at various points of interest, "we can assume that these digits are used for balance, and these ten are used for gripping objects.

"I have not been able to execute any medical examinations as of yet, so I do not know of its vital organs, nor its chemical composition.

"Lastly, it seems almost as though its skin is slightly loose on its body, as if it has not grown into it yet."

Celestia nodded,and calmed by a wide margin. "As always, things become less scary when we understand them," she sighed. "Now, Twilight, our medical examiners are rather busy as of late, as they're all in the Crystal Empire, documenting how the Crystal Ponies' organs function. So, if you wouldn't mind, could you maybe bring this back to your library and examine it there?"

Twilight nodded, and eagerly scooped it up with her magic. "Okay, Princess. You know how much I love examining things!"

Celestia nodded, and, with that, dismissed them from her chambers. As they left, Rainbow Dash sighed in exasperation. "Why did we need to be here? I mean, seriously, you could've done that yourself."

"I didn't know whether it would end up being a threat or not," Twilight explained. "And besides, I didn't want to be alone with this thing."

Rainbow Dash sighed again, and took off towards PonyVille. "I'll be taking a nap in the clouds if you need me!" She cried over her shoulder. The other ponies sighed, and started the trek back to the train.

The entire time, Twilight organized her thoughts and made a plan for her examinations, lost in her beloved world of intellectuals.

Note from the Author

Okay, so I want you guys to be honest.
No, I'm not asking "omg did you like it? omg can you boost my self esteem?"
No, I'm asking because if you don't like it, I'm not going to waste my time writing it.
If you like it, and if enough people are genuinely interested in what this may hold in store, then I will consider continuing the story.
But, if people fervently dislike the idea, the execution of the idea, and the possible future for this story, then I won't bother writing any more for it, because that would be a waste of my time. I'm in three AP Classes - three of the five college classes I'm in - and I'm taking an SAT tomorrow, (depending on when this is approved, I may have already taken it), so I'm pretty sure a waste of my time isn't exactly a positive, nor something I can really afford.
So, like it, dislike it, and tell me why. If it receives enough thumbs ups and enough comments asking for a continuation, I will continue it. But, if it gets disliked, or just dwindles away into obscurity, I won't bother.