The Tales of a Dubious Traveling Soda Salesman

I lived a perfectly abnormal life. What I mean by this is that daily it was normal. I went to school, did homework, stuff like that. On the other hand I didn’t have internet, cable or any TV for that matter, or a cell phone.  I listened to vinyl records, ran a radio station, and acted. Needless to say, I was weird.

My group of friends, however were just as “weird” as me. They were all Bronies. Yup, that’s right, Bronies. If you’re reading this, you’re most likely a Brony. Well, good for you. I am not a Brony. Don’t jump to conclusions now, I’m not against Bronies or what they watch. I even think that MLP is a decent show, better than most cartoons today. I’m just not crazy about it, that’s all. IS THAT SUCH A CRIME?????!!!!! You won’t believe the hostility I get for not hating the show, but at the same time not loving it. Anyway, what happened should have happened to one of my friends, not me. But as I found out, luck doesn’t have favorites.

It was a day like any other; a Wednesday, I think. I had just gotten off the air, and I was about to reread “Gulliver’s Travels” when suddenly I was hit with a terrible migraine right above the left temple. Man did it hurt, so much that I fell right over. Within an instant, however, it was gone.

“Must have been a head rush …” I said to myself as I picked myself up. I was the only one home, so I figured a little snack would suffice before I read my book. Chocolate would do. As I opened the cupboard to where the chocolate was hidden a migraine whacked my right temple. This one being worse than the last, it threw me to the ground. Once again it passed within a moment. Sitting there on the floor I wondered what was causing the migraines. You’re probably thinking, if they were so severe, why didn’t I call for help? Let me take this time to explain something about myself. I am a man of many questions, meaning that I’m always asking questions all the time. It’s like a hobby of mine. anyway, more on that later. For now, let’s go back to me sitting on the floor.

“OW, what the heck is with my head? Oh well, where is  the chocolate?” I got the chocolate and was making my way to sit down and enjoy the simple sugary snack.

I didn’t get to do that, however, because halfway to my seat the mother of all headaches invaded my brain. I was forced to all fours. I could only endure the pain with my eyes closed. It only lasted a couple of seconds. As I let the headache ebb away a nice breeze passed across my face. With my eyes still closed I thought, “Wait a minute all of the windows are closed.” Then I heard a bird chirp off in the distance. I thought I heard the chatter of many people. My eyes, wanting to comprehend, opened. My head lifted, and before me was a city the size of New York. What’s more, it looked somewhat medieval…if it was done in Technicolor. I was at a loss for words to say the least. My eyes saw figures moving in and out of the city. I strained them, and they seemed to be horse like.

Like a bolt of lightning, I then realized what had happened to me. I usually don’t swear, but the only thing I could say was “Oh shit.”