Chapters Pact: Nullification : Lost
Everywhere seems to be empty.
Like half of the omniverse just picked up and left.
Like there was never anything here at all siding the evidence that something once was.
I close the gate to prevent any unnoticed fauna from joining me in the stable.
With a huff and a feeling of hopelessness, I sit against a wall.
This has been a lot.
This has been more than one person could ever handle.
I lean my head against the hard, cold stable wall.
A reminder of where I am.
Lost.
Always lost.
Unknowingly, I feel myself begin to dose.
No...I'm not done yet.
I'm not done being mad yet.
I'm not done...bitch...ing...
Pact: Nullification : Lost
“I realize”, I said in an unassuming tone.
Roseluck lounged in her chair, staring at the fire.
“You'll have to forgive me, Ryan. I'm a little mindfucked right now.”
I smiled, knowing the feeling inside and out.
“Take your time. I'm a little surprised too. You guys were a children's T.V. show back on my planet. Or in my reality. Not too sure if you're just on another planet or a different universe entirely. Usually, two things have to be on separate planes of reality in order to cross in such a weird way.”
The pony glanced over at me, her head never turning from the fire.
“You're a human. You're not supposed to be here. I mean, not to sound hostile or anything, but you literally shouldn't be here. It's impossible, or at least, it was. Well, I thought it was. I mean it's obviously not and I've been having weird feelings ever since last year and I ju-”
“Roseluck, my universe's reality has come to an end.”
The pony looked back to the fire.
“Terminus...”
I immediately snapped to attention.
“You know? Who told you? Did anyone tell you?”
She frowned, shaking her head.
“Sometimes words just come to me. Just like feelings. Just like THIS feeling. Terminus was one of them. It means 'end'. To stop.”
“That's exactly what happened to me. Exactly. A bunch of words and feelings that I didn't understand and then this. I hope you don't have to go through this.”
She shifted, laying her head on the arm rest.
“Popping up in places that I don't belong?”
“Most likely. It's different for everyone. I did a lot before I started disappearing.”
“How long do I have? Before it gets here?”
I brushed my hair back with my hand as I exhaled deeply, thinking.
“From the time I first had the thoughts, it took about four or five years.
She sighed.
“At least life won't be boring anymore.”
My hands went back in my pockets as I leaned forward, trying to get nearer to the fire.
“Boring?”
“Yeah. I was exiled from greater Equestria about six months ago.”
“What for?”
She smirked, but it quickly faded.
“ 'Enticing rebellion against the powers that be'.”
We were so similar that it almost hurt.
“I led a rebellion on my side of the universe too. Against a corrupt and violent government.”
She looked almost sickly, she looked how I felt. Out of place. Tired.
Yeah. Tired.
“Did you win?”
“No.”
“Neither did I.”
“Well, this is looking very familiar. Siding being banished.”
Roseluck sat up, her mane falling as she stretched in the chair.
“I'll get us some drinks, Ryan. We have a lot to talk about.”
Pact: Nullification : Lost
((This is what I wrote to. This is what it's set to. I also started putting speech in italics.))
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Roseluck returned with a tray yielding two half filled wine glasses. She wore the same solemn look that she had since we'd entered the cabin.
With a metallic thump, she sat the tray down on a small table betwixt the chairs.
"Humans drink, right? "
I took a glass and handed her the other as she mounted the chair.
"Yes. Sometimes more than we should. "
Roseluck took the glass and settled into her seat.
"How did you get here, Ryan? "
I thought for a moment.
She deserved to know what's been going on. With me, and with my world. It would be here in Equestria soon enough.
"The Terminus is real. Very real. It's when the 'rules' of life don't take effect anymore. When things like gravity and the consistence of matter are disrupted or cancelled out all together. It's when... "
She looked over.
"It's when what? "
It's when nothing matters anymore. It's when you lose everyone you've ever loved. It's when you wish you would just die. It's when you see everything dissipate right before your eyes. It's when you're bathed in the blood of the people that you would have given your everything for. It's merciless. It's cruel. It's a sick joke.
"Roseluck. "
"Rose, please. "
I sighed deeply.
"It's horrid. To see everyone go mad. To hear the voices of countless aeons all whispering to you at once. Some tempting, some saving. I've seen my father go mad and kill my little sister. My mother spontaneously became ill with Morgellon's disease and soon followed suit. The first day of the Terminus, the sky went out. No stars, no clouds, no sun, no nothing. It was impossible to see thirty feet ahead of you if there wasn't a streetlight. We went around with flashlights and guns, hearing nothing but the maddened screams of death and anguish. It was hell. "
Roseluck stared, her ears flattened and her head hanging low.
"I've had dreams about that. Ryan, I'm so sorry. "
I wiped my face with the sleeve of my peacoat.
"You're in the same boat that I was, Rose. "
The mare set her glass down and left her chair, trotting over to me.
"Come here... ", she said sweetly.
She leaned into me and wrapped her front legs around my neck as she rested her head on my shoulder. I felt the full effects of the loss that I had experienced wash over me. Everyone's dead now. It's just me.
Me and Rose.
"I've only had the dreams, Ryan, but I know. I've felt the fear. I know. "
We pulled away at the same time. She walked over to the fire to stoke it again.
"We shouldn't talk about it anymore. Sides, I need some more firewood. Care to come with me? "
I inhaled deeply and stood.
"Yeah. I'd like that very much. "
Pact: Nullification : Lost
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As we stepped outside I immediately looked up to see an aurora. Beautiful dancing hues of orange and blue. Rose trotted up next to me.
"They're the only good thing about this place. Most nights I just sit out here and stare...it helps me forget. "
"You're lucky. I wish I had something like this. "
The pony looked up at me and smiled.
"As long as you're here, you will. "
We sat there, in the snow, gazing at the heavens for what seemed like an eternity. Such finesse. Such power. This wasn't a frozen wasteland. It was a snowed in paradise. The trees glowed in pinks and purples, the waters shone like wet streets in a city, reflecting the show above.
I could live in this moment forever.
"Yeah...about that firewood. " , I heard Roseluck interject. She nudged me along to a small stump by the side of the cottage, "I'm not too good at cutting...and the machine I usually use is frozen over. All I have is an axe..."
I blew into my hands to ready them for the work ahead.
"That's fine. "
Rose smiled and ran off to a small shed. My eyes returned to the landscape. It was impossibly enchanting. The mountains in the distance appeared as if they had been painted with delicate and powerful stokes from a master artisan's brush.
I heard Rose come trotting up and saw her drop a wood-handled axe by my feet.
"Here ya go. I hope I don't seem pushy or anything...I just don't want us to be cold tonight. "
I took the axe from the ground and a log from a pile adjacent to the stump. With as steady a hand as I could manage, I sat the log on the stump and stepped back to raise the axe. Rose watched on as I struck the log; splitting it. For the first time in a long time, the cold wasn't here to kill me. It was just present to remind me that I am alive.
I picked up logs and placed them into a saddlebag that Roseluck had gotten from inside.
"That should be plenty. " , she said with a warm smile.
I smiled back, returning the kind gesture.
Roseluck finished putting as many logs in the bag as she could, as she walked under the straps and hoisted it up.
"Ryan, I'm really glad you're here. More than glad, I'm blessed. You've done more than you know. I know it's been a hard road, but I think you were meant to be here. With me... ", she grinned, tossing her mane out of her eyes, "Sounds a bit mushy, but, I believe it one hundred percent. I'm sure you'll see why soon. I'm sure we both will. This can't be pure chance. Nothing in this life is, you know. Everything happens for a reason. We're here for a reason. I can't wait to see why. "
I dropped the axe and stretched a bit as Roseluck trotted off into the house. My back hurt like hell, but it's always been that way. At least, ever since the rebellion. Ever since I had been thrown from a building. Ever since I had been tossed around by earth anomalies.
Thoughts that I didn't want to think. Thoughts of terror. Pure fear. Trying to fight off an oppressive government while surviving the collapse of reality. A situation I didn't care to be in again. A situation that I wasn't in now. This place was a reprieve. This place was an answered prayer. Roseluck was an answered prayer. A patch of desolate northern Equestria to hide away in. My own little slice of heaven. I couldn't help but happily sigh at the prospect that maybe...maybe this was it. Maybe Equestria wouldn't be subjected to the...no...I can't think like that. I know better.
As soon as I say that it won't happen, it will.
Fate has a funny way of wanting to prove us wrong. If you say a ship won't sink, it will. If you say a plane will never fall, it will crash and burn. If you hope that your current situation won't go sour, it will end up in people dying.
Murphy's law.
Old Murphy couldn't have been more right. I'd seen it too many times in such a short span. It had cost me a lot, and hoping had become more and more of a foreign concept to me.
I turned to face the cottage. I only wish that this would be the end. I'd been so many places and done so much. DEA said that she would take me back to Darkarska so we could sort out the cause of all of this, but hadn't even attempted to contact me in any way for almost a half a year. Where had she gone?
Maybe it had gotten to Darkarska. Maybe she was dead. Maybe it was over. Maybe whatever started all of this, had decided that it was time that it stopped.
Was this victory? I had no home to return to. No Terra. No nothing. Maybe this was it. End of story.
Done.
There I was, telling myself the same old story. It was stupid to put all of my hopes into one world, one cottage, one pony. I knew better.
Or did I?
I would love to live here forever. To finally put down my guns and rest. To not have to worry about where I might wake up tomorrow, or if I'd wake up at all. No more pain. No more fear. Just a warm fire and a friend. Just some drinks in our hands, well, and her hoof, as we laughed. Laughed about everything. As we just didn't care. As we allowed the past to stay in the past, and the future to be what we made it. Splitting logs, stoking fires, strolling through the snow. It didn't matter. I was done.
I was sick and tired of trying to forget. Sick and tired of moving. Sick and tired or seeing people die.
I was done with it all.
Done with the Terminus, done with whatever caused it.
Fuck all of them.
I just want to rest.
I tried to keep myself from thinking that this was a peaceful ultimatum to a tragic story, but it was getting the better of me.
Then I saw it. There in the snow. The axe and two logs.
Sitting perfectly.
The double barred cross.
The symbol of DEA.
Her warning.
Her omen.
It was coming. It was on its way.
She was trying to tell me.
No time.
No hope.
It was coming...
My head swam with fear and pain. I felt it constrict my happiness and flush all warmth from my body.
Not now...not so soon. Please not now...
No choice.
Not even a prayer.
Terminus.
Pact: Nullification : Lost
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No. This isn't happening.
I stumbled back, staring at the double-barred cross before me.
"No! Fuck you! Not this time. Not again. No more....no more...."
I felt my heart lift out of my chest, the happiness fade into nothing, and the thoughts of sustainable peace fall apart.
No. Fuck this. Fuck this.
Fuck this.
I'm not letting this win. I'm not going to worry about this. I'm not bringing it up. I'm ignoring it.
I'm done.
I gnashed my teeth in anger and kicked out at the fate-formed omen, dismantling it.
The ax flipped over into the snow, and the two logs fell askew around it.
How's that for a sign?
With a huff and a quick turn, I was off to the front door of the cabin.
[...]
I turned the knob to the door, kicking the snow off of my shoes as I moved to enter.
"Ryan... " , I heard her soft voice say.
I opened the door further and looked over to the fireplace, only to see that it was unattended.
"Ryan...please come here... "
I crossed the threshold and gently closed the door behind myself.
"Where are you? ", I asked, trying to gauge the direction of the imminent reply.
"In the kitchen... "
Her voice sounded shorted. She was welling up. She was...crying?
I left the entry and walked further into the cabin, trying to look for a tile floor or some kind of light to identify the kitchen.
"Rose? "
I heard a choked sob, and then a sniffle.
I rounded a corner by her stairwell and saw her, sat at a table with a glass of wine, crying.
"Hey... ", she sorrowfully whispered.
I hastily made my way into the kitchen, sitting in an unoccupied chair across the table from her.
"What's wrong? "
She looked up at me, her eyes glassy and pink from crying. How long had I been outside?
"I looked into the fire...I couldn't help but... ,she choked back a word and cleared her throat, "I couldn't help but remember that night. The night when the guards came to my house. When they came to Ponyville. I was just stoking the fire, and....and... "
"What do you mean? "
She looked down to the table, her eyes distant as her face scrunched into a look of distraught hopelessness. She coughed up a whimper and began to sob uncontrollably.
"They took me outside...they....th-they took me from my living room and drug me outside. They already had everypony else out there. They...they had everypony that wanted to stop them from taking our rights...everypony that joined me. Then... "
Another pause.
She inhaled deeply and sucked back some tears.
"...then they asked if I was the one that did it. If I was the one organizing the plan to move on Canterlot. "
I looked across the table at the pony. My eyes transfixed on hers.
"What happened? "
She looked from the table, to me; a confused and hurt expression spreading across her face.
"Seafoam and Lyra stepped out of the crowd...and said 'Yes. That's her'. They sold me out. They were the two mares that I trusted most. The ones that had helped me build the protest. They just...sold me out. The guards hit me, kicked me, beat the shit out of me in front of everypony and then hauled me off. I got to watch my house set on fire...and then Lyra's...and then Seafoam's. "
It hit me.
This was almost exactly what had happened to me. This wasn't just my story, this was a re-occurring story. This was OUR story now.
"Rose, I know what you went through... "
"How...? "
I sighed, running my hand through my hair.
Roseluck sniffled, pushing her glass of wine to me.
"Tell me."
Pact: Nullification : Lost
((Shit is going to kick the fuck up in the next chapter. Enjoy the last bit of pretty music, comment on how you felt, and get ready for the end.))
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I took up the glass and downed its entire contents.
This is a story that I hate telling. I can almost feel the excitement of running through the fallen streets of Georgia on a summer day again.
"Rose, I used to be an average person, doing average things. Working a nine to five job as a carpenter. Then, slowly, an entity began to present itself to me. Through signs in life. Through things all around me. Ideas began to pop in my head, words, images, feelings. This entity was trying to communicate with me in a way that wouldn't make me immediately question my sanity. This entity called itself DEA; or, Goddess. "
Rose ignored everything else, taking a deep interest in what I had to say. Which was good. Because if that double-barred cross had anything to say, she'd need to know all that she possibly could.
"DEA told me, through signs in life and thoughts in my head, that a series of events would soon occur. That the end of things was on its way, with an unimaginable force. See, our government was already failing. It was beginning to take the rights of our people. It was trying to rule us, not lead us. Like here. "
The mare nodded slowly, "I can almost see what's going on here...finish, please. "
I returned the nod.
"I was to start a resistance. It was to be called The New Republic of America. I started it, the group took off, and we began to set up tactics and ideas pertaining to what we would do if the Federal Government got out of hand. I was apprehended outside of my home before the take-over began. Literally, right before they began to round up citizens and deport them to detainment camps. I was sold out by one of my best friends, and I also watched my house burn to ash. "
Yeah. I watched it swallow my family. My mother, my father...my little sister. I watched those flames lick up the side of my house with a rage that I had never know in my life, and would never know again. I watched my every reason for living die in a billow of smoke. I felt the sting of their ashes litter my body.
I wiped my eyes before I got choked up at all, and immediately caught myself.
"I was detained, but the New Republic wasn't. They ambushed the APC I was in, and saved me. Not that it mattered that much. The next day, everything in the damn sky went out. No stars, no sun, nothing. Just pitch black unless you had some kind of artificial light. Then the terminus came. "
"The Terminus... " , Roseluck repeated.
"Everything went to shit. To say the absolute least. Death went from being two steps away, to constantly in our faces. Lamp posts would swing wildly into the ground and make a bloody smear out of anyone that went too close, things would fly around and TRY to hit us, the ground would open up and swallow people...it was almost impossible to survive. That went on for almost 3 days before I began to randomly show up in different places. "
The mare nodded, looking me dead in the face.
"And now you're here. "
"Yes. And now I'm here. And I think that the Terminus has made its way here as well. "
She thought for a moment. Her eyes tracing grout lines in the tiled floor as she pondered.
"I'm ready. If it's coming, then I'm ready. I'm ready to die. I have nothing to live for...but Ryan... "
"Yes?
"Don't leave me...please. Please don't leave me here to die alone... "
I saw it. The darkening feel of impending doom.
It's like being on the business end of a rifle that just shot. You feel the pound of the firing pin against the button, the explosion of the gunpowder, and the thump of the escaping shell in your ribcage. You hear the deafening 'crack', and your ears ring.
You can feel it, see it, smell it, and maybe even taste it, but it doesn't really make sense until you hit the ground and see the blood.
The stars evaporated into nothing, the aurora was mercilessly murdered, and I felt the cold creep up through the floor.
The lights, the slowly increasing drone. The screams of a dying reality. The twisted orchestral introduction of an even more twisted and wicked show.
That was indeed a cross in the snow.
And this was happening.
In the few moments that I had, I took Rose's hoof in my hand.
"I hope I ended up here just to die, with you. "
Crack...
This is it. It's here.
Time to get to work.
Pact: Nullification : Lost
Terminus :: 1
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My gut dropped a million miles an hour as I felt it begin.
Blind.
We're blind.
Rose screamed as the cabin came to life. A chair threw itself against the wall with enough force to go clean through a cabinet door. The others soon followed, flying out from under the table, and into walls. I could hear the very earth outside ripping itself up like a psychopath in a cell.
The walls splintered and caved in, plates threw themselves at us.
"ROSE. FOLLOW ME. NOW! "
The words resonated around us, distorted and frayed, repeating themselves maddeningly. Rose cried out and fought her way through the kitchen with me.
I was bleeding. Already.
I stumbled and tripped, Roseluck on my heels, as I tried to get back to the living room in hopes that the fire had not already engulfed it.
Without a sound or transition of any kind, I was outside.
"ROSE?! ROSE! "
I heard her scream my name as she sprinted towards me.
"RYAN! I'M HERE. "
Her words floated away in the arising wind; nothing more than static and half-intelligible noise.
The sky turned a shade of sick green, lending a small amount of light.
I spun around quickly in the snow to see Roseluck skid to a stop right next to me.
"Ryan! What the fuck just happened! Where are we?! "
"Just stay as close to me as possible. Do NOT leave my side. "
Rose was breathing heavily, panicked.
There is no way to prepare for something like this, no way to survive it.
I quickly stood, surveying what was around me. Equestria itself was cracking and spraying dirt and mud in all directions, a small deer attempted to run across a worn down trail, but was quickly killed by grass that had shot up from the ground directly underneath it.
The sky screamed and the droning was becoming louder, now so deep that I could feel it shaking the planet.
"Rose! We need to ge- "
Before I could finish my sentence, I was standing in a small town, under a streetlight. Ponies on the sidewalks looked me over with intense curiosity and fear.
"Ryan, I'm here! "
Rose had popped up only 10 yards or so away from me, and quickly rejoined me.
"We need to find somewhere that we can...Lyra...? "
A teal pony, only about five feet away from me, with white hair looked about herself, confused.
"Rose, you're not supposed to be he- " the pony attempted to say, before being savagely crushed and beaten by the streetlamp beside of me.
Blood sprayed itself on everyone nearby as I tackled Roseluck out of the pole's reach.
Another pony was hit, breaking one of her legs, and leaving her hip as an unrecognizable, bloody dangling mess. She attempted to drag herself away, but was smashed over and over again by the lamp, which was now no more than a broken light and bent shaft.
The streets tasted blood almost immediately as the ponies scattered.
Shingles from a nearby shop embedded themselves in the back of a purple pony's head as houses all around us began exploding in intelligent shrapnel.
Everywhere, ponies were beaten, crushed, impaled, gashed, gored and severed as Rose and I ran down the middle of the street.
We had to find somewhere.
We would die in mere seconds if we didn't.
Pact: Nullification : Lost
((This format only continues to chapter 5. Stick with it.))
So here I am.
I awoke in a far too familiar way; face down on the ground.
This was different though.
Face down...
...face down in snow.
This place was a confusingly hued and cold parcel.
Almost like a pink...or a bright and saturated purplish yellow.
There was no wind, but a far-too-present biting cold that surrounded me on all sides.
I hoisted myself up with my arms, slowly gazing out at the landscape before me.
With a push, I was on a knee, trying to take it all in.
Before me sprawled weeping willows radiating cool color tones, and placid waters.
Off from my left there was a powerful yet faint orange glow.
My breath bellowed out on from of me; a smoky and opaque cloud.
I have no idea where I am.
But that's usually the case.
I stood, my feet sinking slightly into the snow as I brushed myself off and stuck my hands into my coat pockets.
With a shiver, I ventured forth into the still and empty air. An eerie feeling about me. So dark, yet...
...the glow of the trees...a light in the distance.
I pulled my jacket around me as tightly as possible.
To the light I go.
The Terminus has had a funny way of not ending anything.
I'm beginning to wonder if it was just a way to throw me in the weirdest places until I eventually died.
DEA would be looking for me, and maybe I'd be here longer than 2 hours.
I begin my passage, pushing a tree branch away from my face as I approach the water's edge.
I look out to see a few rocks that form a strangely convenient stepping stone bridge.
I step out and quickly hop across the rocks to the other side of the pale moat.
The low hanging willows and autumned spruces speckle the powder ground before me.
With haste, I trek on through the cold and silence.
The light.
A gate.
Stables.
I see it off, just a little ways against a small hillside.
Flakes of snow spot the ground, and obscure my view to a glimpse of a glow.
I shiver and press on, hoping to find some kind of shelter there.
A lamp.
That's where it was coming from. A warm yellow glow amidst the cold and dark terrain.
I approach the gate, and gently push it aside to enter.
Empty.
Pact: Nullification : Lost
With a sudden jolt, I avoid sleep.
At least...I think so.
Or was it the voice?
A faint...voice?
I stand, and with a fleeting foot, run to the gate and throw it open.
Off in the distance I can see it. Some small shape.
Calling out...to?
I open the gate, shutting it quickly behind me.
“Hey! Hey you!”
The figure turns.
“Hey!” , I call out, “Hey! Wait a second.”
The quadruped silhouette turns to face me.
“Who...you...what...can-”, it replies.
I begin to walk closer, avoiding a hasty approach so as to not be perceived as a threat.
The creature maintains its ground. A lantern in its mouth.
Surely it's not...
“You're a...”
“Are you a...?”
The creature looks me over, its small toboggan and scarf masking its appearance.
“You're a human...” It states in a muffled female voice, almost dropping the lantern.
“Yes...yes I am. You're a...well...” , I began.
The creature looked about itself, confused and taken aback, it set the lantern in the snow before it
as it readied for a reply.
My mind searched for the right words.
“...you're a pony.”, I said.
The stare lasted forever, the furred pony in front of me staring into my eyes as it wondered.
“You're a human...you don't...”
I knelt down, trying to remove the frightening aspect of an already strange situation.
“Where am I?”
The pony retrieved its jaw from the ground and swallowed hard as it looked around again, seemingly to be momentarily confused as to where it was.
“You're in the northern mountains...I mean...you're in Equestria.”
The pony stepped closer to me.
“Aren't you like...cold?”
I didn't answer.
Equestria. Ponies. My Little Pony?
This is ridiculous.
Either this place has existed all along or I've gone mad.
Maybe the Terminus has gotten the best of me.
Maybe this is it.
No.
I searched myself, patting all around my neck and collar until I finally felt it.
The cross.
This is real.
Equestria is real.
Pact: Nullification : Lost
I looked dead in the pony's large, bright eyes.
“Yeah...I'm cold as hell.”
She gestured with a hoof as she took up the lantern in her mouth again.
“~Come wiff me, you can't be sheen.~”
I stood and followed, the stagnant cold of the world around me began to pick up a bit as a chilling breeze danced over my shoulders.
This was happening.
A lot of people back on Terra would have died for this opportunity,
and here I am.
The end of reality has its perks.
We crossed a small bridge to a cottage. It was rather large to be housing ponies, and was equip with a fireplace (I noticed the chimney).
We came to the front door and the pony sat the lantern at my feet.
“Hold that while I open the door.”
I took the lantern up as the equine took a key from her scarf and stuck it in the lock.
~Click, click~
“Come in, quickly.”
I obeyed and entered the cottage.
“This is pretty big for a pony...” , I marveled.
“Well, I wanted cathedral ceilings so my loft would be warm at night, but I guess they're just standard for you.”
The pony blew out the lantern and trotted over to stoke the already burning fire.
She looked over her shoulder at me as I stood at the door, looking the cabin over.
“Please, sit.”
I snapped out of my daze, walked over to the pony at the fireplace, took a seat in one of two chairs facing the open flame, and began to blow on my bare hands for warmth.
She set the fire poker down next to the granite hearth and sat in the chair adjacent to me.
Another stare.
Another silence.
Passive thoughts.
Two confused and racing minds.
“My name is Roseluck.”
“Hello Roseluck. I'm Ryan.”
“You're very far from home, Ryan.”
