Let's Play! Vol. 01: MINECRAFT- with Luna, Celestia, and Cadence

by Jasper77W

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Cadance, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna
Length: 15259

Luna, Celestia, and Cadence play the famed MINECRAFT on Xbox 360

Luna, Celestia, and Cadence play the famed MINECRAFT on Xbox 360

*may contain objectionable language use, intentionally bad grammar and spelling and Engrish in general, royal princess shenanigans, and overall silliness.

Published 2012-11-18 11:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-26 02:19:09 UTC

Part 1

Let's Play! Volume 01: MINECRAFT for Xbox 360- with Luna, Celestia, and Cadence.

An MLP FanFic

"Is it even on? I can't tell." Celestia said, staring at her blank screen. She, Luna and Cadence were in the deep confinements of the games room in the Canterlot castles that Luna ordered to be built. The room had no lights on, and was only lit by the glowing HD TV screens. Suddenly the glow was amplified as Celestia's screen turned on, a beep echoing in the silence and indicating the Xbox 360 was on. "There it is."

"Please, put on your headphones, sister." Luna said, irritated. Her controller was levitating in a blue aura, the same aura that shrouded her glowing horn.

"Press 'X' to start." Celestia said read off the screen aloud. "Can somepony turn the lights on? I can't find 'X'."

"For hay's sake." Luna rolled her eyes. "It's on your controller! How the hay can you not see it?"

"It's dark, and the screen is stinging my eyes." Celestia said, peering at her controller and not able to see what was printed on the buttons.

"When are we starting? Are you two even on?" Cadence asked, frowning at her screen.

"I am. My sister hasn't made it to the loading screen yet though." Luna rolled her eyes. "You know, it's funny how I'm the one who went missing for over a thousand years and yet am the best at all the games we play."

"Except for chess." Celestia noted.

"Shut up."

There was a click and a beep. "Aha! I am on the loading screen." Celestia announced proudly. Luna just tapped the desk with a hoof impatiently, her glassy eyes staring at her screen and waiting for something to happen.

"Great. Can we start now?" Cadence picked up her controller.

"Hold on. One percent... Two percent... Three..." Celestia frowned at her screen.

"You know what-" Luna turned to Cadence. "Let's just start without her."

"Seven..."

Luna ignored her sister, starting the game.

"Alright. I spawned. Now where the hay am I?" Cadence looked around- she seemed to be in a wide opening. "What are we playing again? Because the graphics suck. Why is everything pixelated? Why is the sun a square?"

"Welcome to Minecraft." Luna said, walking forward. She looked to her left, where Cadence's character was just staring up at the sun. "I take it you haven't played this game before?"

"Twelve percent..."

"Yeah, I haven't." Cadence said. "Also, my hooves are square."

"Your hooves are cube." Luna corrected. "Also- they're hands, not hooves."

"So that's why I'm standing on my hind legs." Cadence switched to third person view.

"Ok- let's go get some wood first. Damn, this is a big field. Cadence- Oi! Cadence! Follow me or you'll probably die out here!" Luna said, walking towards a far patch of jungle. The field they were in stretched almost beyond view, surrounded by high cliffs- the only place to go was towards the jungle.

"Why does my skin have different colors? Like, my head is this dark brown, by body is green and my legs are blue. What's going on?" Cadence was running around in circles, pressing the 'jump' button for no apparent reason.

"Goddamnit..." Luna face-hoofed in real life.

Finally Cadence stopped babbling over the logic of the game, and followed Luna into the jungle.

"Are we apple bucking now?" she asked as she started hitting a tree with her fist.

"No." Luna said flatly, collecting a wood block she just mined.

"Aah!" Cadence squealed, jumping back as the block of wood she was punching earlier fell out into a smaller piece , seemingly floating above the ground. "What's happening? I didn't mean to do it! I broke the tree! How do I fix it?"

"Twenty percent..."

Luna let out an annoyed growl. "Just pick it up and put it back on, if you that's what you want."

"But how do I pick it up though?" Cadence asked, pressing the same button. All she did was punch a hole in the ground. "Aah! What now?"

Luna took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly in a controlled manner. "You see that left joystick on your controller there? Yeah, that... Now, just use it to move towards the the blocks... That's right... And once you're close enough, you automatically pick them up!" she said slowly, her tone as if addressing a small foal.

Cadence blushed. "So what's the objective in this game again?"

"It doesn't have one." Luna said simply, placing down a crafting table under a tree.

"Then why are we playing this game? There's no point!" Cadence said, randomly flicking the right joystick around. Her character was just a swirl of colors as she turned this way and that.

Luna ignored her. "Oop. Getting dark." she said, quickly running towards a cliff face with a wooden pickaxe.

"Thirty percent..."

It was raining too. Luna had already dug a hole in the cliff face of stone, and was hiding under the shelter. Cadence was running around wildly in the rain, jumping around with a dirt block in her blocky hand. Luna sighed, turned around and started mining again.

*Thirty minutes later...

"Ok. I've got a diamond sword now. Cadence-" Luna said, emerging from the cave she dug into the cliff- she then stopped dead as she saw what Cadence had done on the outside. "Is that... A replica of the crystal empire!!??" she frowned.

"Yep." Cadence said proudly, behind her towers and towers of diamond blocks rising high up into the clouds.

"How'd you... HUH!!??" Luna would've rubbed her eyes if she could in the game.
"Girls... I'm still stuck on thirty percent..."

"I... May have used some TNT..." Cadence said sheepishly.

*Ten minutes earlier...

Cadence placed down the last TNT block in the grass. Under the layer of grass, was a huge expanse of nothing but TNT. Cadence wiped the sweat from her brow in real life, letting out a relieved sigh that she finished placing everything down. It was getting dark again- and she needed to find flint and steel, even though she had no idea what that was. She'll just have to look around and mine everything to find out.

She heard a loud hiss behind her, and turned around. There was a tall green figure standing before her, hissing as it came closer on four stubby legs. And before she knew it, there was a loud boom and a loud 'OOOMF' from her in-game character. The words 'You died' flashed onto her screen, and she tilted her head to one side questioningly.

*

Luna was whistling as she dug through the layers of stone blocks with ease, her diamond pickaxe flashing. Suddenly a large amount of lag started filling up the game, and she paused. There were distant booms all over the place, and she looked up- this one action took her several seconds because of all the lag.

"The hay...?" she muttered, staring at the plain stone ceiling. Then her screen was filled with white bubbles of smoke, lagging so bad that they were all frozen in place.

Then the words 'You died' flashed onto her screen- there must've been a huge TNT explosion, and since Celestia was on thirty percent and she didn't place any TNT down...

"CADENCE!!" she roared.

*Present...

"Ah. I remember now." Luna said, her expression unreadably dark. "I lost my diamond pickaxe."

Cadence slowly backed away from Luna and into the Crystal Empire replica, wary of the glimmering diamond sword in Luna's hand.

"Don't try to run!" Luna yelled, holding down the sprint on her controller.

"Eeep!" Cadence squealed, turning around and also holding down the sprint. They ran through the labyrinth of crystal towers, none of them slowing down or even checking their hunger bar for that matter.

Then Cadence decided to exit the Empire and run into the vast plains, sprinting through the field of grass.

"Come 'ere!" Luna yelled, sword swinging and close behind.

"Eeeeep!" Cadence squealed again, checking behind her and running backwards.

"Argh!" Luna growled frustratedly as Cadence was only half a block out of range of her sword.

Then suddenly Cadence disappeared, falling down into the ground. Luna peered over the edge of the cliff, just in time to see Cadence's in-game character hit the ground and fall over; highlighted red. On the left side of her screen, the words 'ILuvShiningArmorXOXO hit the ground too hard' appeared.

"Well that was freakin perfect." Luna said. "Because that's how most movie chase scenes end, right? The hero chases the villain five freakin miles and then the villain falls off a cliff. Yep."

"I didn't see it." Cadence muttered. And then she raised an eyebrow. "Are you mining diamond from my empire?"

"I'm hitting a house with a pickaxe. But yeah." Luna said, quickly looking around her to make sure Cadence didn't respawn near her.

Cadence took in several deep breaths through her nostrils, staring at Luna menacingly in real life. Then she sighed, turning back to her screen. "You're dead to me."

"Yeah, like you're gonna-" Luna started, and her in-game character let out a loud 'OOOMF', jumping back as she lost almost half her hearts. "The hay?" she quickly hid behind a crystal tower.

"Pop your head back out again. I dare you." Cadence said.

"You stole my bow and arrow from my chest, didn't you?"

"I don't know. Maybe. There was just a chest with a furnace on top of the cliff. So I opened it." Cadence shrugged.

Luna cursed- the cliff was too far away, and there was a giant clearing in the middle. If she tried to get to Cadence, she'd be shot a few hundred times before she even reaches the cliff. And then she'll have to climb the cliff, and with only four hearts left- just a small drop could easily kill her.

"Should I just restart the machine?" Celestia asked. "Oh wait. Thirty one."

Luna looked around her- there were no trees or spiders or anything she could use to craft a bow and some arrows- although, there was a bunch of diamond. Maybe she could craft an inventory full of diamond pickaxes and dig her way out of the situation...
She started digging down, pickaxe flashing as she held down the button.

"OOP!" she let out a surprised yelp as the ground suddenly dropped out from under her, and she fell about twenty blocks down before hitting the ground and dying in the bottom of a cave. "GODDAMNIT!!" she had forgotten all about Cadence blowing up the entire bottom of the world.

Cadence laughed at Luna, seeing the words 'NightmareMoon0102 hit the ground too hard' appear on her screen.

"Nooooo! My diamond pickaxes!!" Luna cried, respawning somewhere else on the map.
"Where... Am I?" Celestia wondered, the game finally loaded. There were trees everywhere, and she was pointlessly circling one and swinging her fist at the air.

Luna face-hoofed. Not this again.

*Forty minutes later...

"Ok. Since we have nothing to do, let's go find a stronghold." Luna said, now inside an underground cave; lit only by a glowing fountain of lava.

"Stronghold? Where can we find that?" Celestia asked.

"Somewhere underground. Just keep digging around." Luna said, mining stone with her only diamond pickaxe left.

Celestia and Cadence were in a cobblestone house they built to avoid the monsters at night, a metal door sealing off the exit.

"Let's just start mining here then." Celestia said, looking down at the floor.

"In the house?" Cadence asked.
"Yes." Celestia said, already mining downwards towards the ground.

"I'll go get wood and make a ladder. Just in case you need to get back up." Cadence said, punching the button on the wall and opening the metal door.

"Aah!" Luna yelped, jumping back. She was mining a small tunnel through the ground when she suddenly hit air. "Found an underground valley." she said, standing on the edge and looking out towards a huge valley spanning out beyond view on either side. She looked down, estimating a fifty block drop.

Then she heard a loud POP behind her, and just as she turned around her character went 'OOMF' and jumped off the edge.

"GODDAMNIT!!! BUCKING HELL!!" she yelled.

"Funny how you died more times than the both of us combined." Celestia said, seeing the words 'NightmareMoon0102 hit the ground too hard' on her screen. "Plus that's like a crappy username."

"You can't say much. You know nothing about setting usernames." Luna said, clicking the 'respawn' button. "What was yours again? 'Molestia5000' was it?"

"It's my nickname on the internet. A lot of people call me that." Celestia said simply.

"Well it's a crappy name." Luna said. "You should have something like 'Your Mom'. At least that name is insulting when you're playing games like Halo. 'You killed Your Mom', 'Your Mom sniped you with a headshot', 'Your Mom bucked a cow.' so on so on."

"Whatever." Celestia said, continuously mining downwards.

"Well. Found this place again. And buck you skeleton archer!" Luna said, swinging her sword at the skeleton archer that caused her to fall off the edge earlier. This time she learned from her mistake, placing torches around the cave so monsters won't spawn nearby.

"Aaah! What's happening?" Celestia asked, and Luna didn't have to look at her screen to know what happened.
All Luna saw was Celestia's character drop from the high ceiling of the valley above, and fall down in a laggy motion down below. A second later the words 'Molestia5000 hit the ground too hard' flashed onto her screen.

"Dug too far, dumbarse." Luna laughed.

"I noticed." Celestia said glumly.

"What now?" Cadence asked, staring down the hole in the ground of the cobblestone house as Celestia respawned next to her.

"Get a bucket and dump water down the hole. You should be able to ride the water down and avoid falling." Luna said.

"Ok... Now to find water." Cadence said, and Luna's mind clicked.

"There's this glitch in the game." she started, trying her best not to giggle or laugh. "The water actually looks like lava. The two programs got swapped, so Lava has the characteristics of water and Water has the characteristics of Lava."

"Oh yeah right." Cadence muttered.

"Are you willing to risk it?" Luna asked, hiding her smile in the shadows.

Cadence considered it for a moment, stopping in the middle of a clearing. "No."

"Ofcourse. I'll just try to get to you guys... Hold on." Luna said, walking back the way she came and heading for the surface. She would not want to miss this.

A moment later they were all in the cobblestone house, the night dark outside.

"It annoys me how the sun and moon automatically move around." Celestia said, breaking the silence. "Alright. Let's make an elevator to get down there."

Cadence placed the block of lava in the hole, waiting for it to flow down into the valley below.

"I'm just going to go outside." Luna said, about to open the metal door when they heard a loud hiss from outside. "Oop! Creeper!" she panicked, running around the house.

"Where is it?" Celestia looked out the windows.

"Outside the door! It's right there!" Luna said as the green figure outside slowly approached. "But at least it can't come in... We have a metal door-"

There was a loud click, and the door opened, the creeper right outside walking in.

The princesses screamed, running around the tight confinements of the cobblestone house and unable to get away from the creeper. There was another hiss, and a loud boom as the words 'You died' flashed onto all their screens.

"Well that went perfectly." Luna said after a period of silence. "Now- why the buck was there a pressure plate outside that door?"

"Oh, is that what it was?" Celestia raised an eyebrow, squinting at the screen. "I thought it was a door mat."

"A door mat made of stone? Really?" Luna said.

"This game is ridiculous in the first place. Many things don't make sense in it- so how am I supposed to know?"

"Let's just go check on the house." Cadence said, walking out towards where the house should be. But they didn't spawn in it, meaning their beds probably got destroyed...

"Well that's not good." Luna said, staring at the huge crater in the ground and the several remaining floating blocks of cobblestone.

"Lava's still there. We can ride our way down." Celestia said, and before Luna or Cadence could say anything she ran right into the stream of lava.

Luna started laughing as Celestia sunk below the surface, unable to swim back up and on fire.

"Aaah! What's happening!? Why am I on fire!? Get me out!" Celestia yelled as her hearts started draining.

Then with one final 'OOMF', the words 'Molestia5000 tried to swim in lava' popped onto Luna's screen, and she and Cadence couldn't help but laugh aloud- embarrassing Equestria's ruler even further.

"I'm going to kill you Luna." Celestia said angrily, spawning somewhere distant on the map.

"Eeeeep!" Cadence squealed, her character bouncing into the lava shortly after she heard a pop behind her.

"Skeleton archer!" Luna yelled, swinging the diamond sword.

"I'm burning! HELP!" Cadence tried to swim up onto land, but the thick lava was holding her down. "Damnit." she muttered as she lost all her hearts.

"So... Now we have no shelter." Luna said, all alone at the remains of the house.

"Yup." Celestia said. "So much for finding a stronghold."

"I'm just going to find a cave. And stay there." Luna said.

"Wait for me-" Celestia came running through the darkness. And before she could react, Luna had already cut her down with her diamond sword. "What the buck was that for!?"

"You said you were going to kill me a second ago. It was self defense- I couldn't risk it."

"Stuff you!" Celestia moaned, back at the spawn. There was a wooden sign in front of her, and she squinted at it. "Congratulations... You died..." she read aloud. "Stuff you, Cadence!"

"Haha!" Cadence laughed, already joining Luna and heading towards the cave.

"Why does the moon do nothing to light things up...?" Celestia asked, looking about her in the darkness. "The moon sucks. The sun's better."

"Just because you get killed all the time in the dark doesn't mean-" Luna started, entering the cave. The last thing she saw before the casual message 'You died' was a swarm of arrows volleying out of the cave after several loud pops. "WHAT THE HAY!!!?? THERE'S LIKE A THOUSAND SKELETON ARCHERS IN THERE!!"

"So that's what they do..." Cadence mumbled thoughtfully, inspecting the pressure plates on the cave edge, the stone texture camouflaged into the ground in the dark.

"So that's what does what?" Luna asked.

"I saw these things called 'dispensers' while crafting, so decided to give them a go and filled them with arrows-" Cadence started.

"You arse." Luna muttered.

"Thanks for the diamond sword."

"Shut up."

There were several growls next to Cadence, and she turned to her left.

"Ah! NO! Go away!" she squealed as a group of zombies neared her, one of them stepping on a pressure plate.

A storm of arrows rained out from the dark depths of the cave, taking down the zombies and Cadence alike.

"Good job." Luna said, seeing the message 'ILuvShiningArmorXOXO was shot by arrow' on her screen.

"Like, can we stop killing each other now? We've got a stronghold to find." Celestia said, still at the spawn point as Luna and Cadence joined her.

"Well. It's as if we didn't start at all, since we lost all our stuff." Luna said, sighing frustratedly.

"Just start again." Cadence moaned.

Part 2

Sorry this took so long! I was working on my other projects cause I like writing action and dark stuff better. But here it is! Hope you all enjoy

"Aaaaaand let's try that again." Celestia, finally finding enough diamond to make a pickaxe.

"Well, we would've found a stronghold by now if Cadence didn't blow everything up last time." Luna said, heavily implying it was all Cadence's fault, who pretended not to notice.

"I found Scootaloo." Cadence said, looking down at a chicken. "Bak-bak-bak-bak-bak!"

Luna rolled her eyes. She was on the surface with Cadence, searching for supplies while Celestia was keeping all the diamond and ion to herself underground. They tried to steal some stuff off her last time... But turns out her cave was littered with pressure plates they decided best not to get near to.

"Found more coal." Celestia said, looking up at the ceiling and mining coal ore with her diamond pickaxe, the dark cave she was in only lit by the pond of lava next to her.

"Cadence, we could just use the diamond from the Crystal Empire-" Luna started for the fifth time, making little success since the last time.

"NO!" Cadence roared before she even finished.

Luna sighed, looking back at their cave. They had run out of stone pickaxes, so now were looking for more wood to make wooden ones, so they could then get stone and make stone ones. A dim glow came from inside the dark cave, the glow of lava.

Luna watched that glow for a while, her head continuously tilting to one side as she cooked up something sinister inside her mind. Then with a click her head jerked back to its normal position, an evil and excited grin on her face as she rubbed her hooves together. She quickly leaned towards Cadence, and tapped her on the shoulder. She looked at her, taking off her headphones. Luna whispered something in her ear, and they shared some giggles- Celestia was still oblivious to what was about to hit her.

*Twenty minutes later...

"Hey, sis." Celestia heard Luna say.

"Yes, Luna?" she asked, still mining around her cave.

"Look up."

"Wha..?" Celestia suddenly saw the area around her light up, and looked towards she ceiling. But instead of finding just plane rock, she was met with a face full of lava.

Luna had dug a hole through the ground, and poured lava down the hole.

"Ah! No! IT BUUUURNS!!" Celestia yelped, making her way out of the thick lava, her character on fire. She ran around, trying to find water- but she found none. In the heat of the moment(quite literally at that), she decided it would be fine to go splash around in the lava pond.

*

"Nice." Luna said flatly as the words 'Molestia5000 tried to swim in lava' flashed onto her screen. "Very nice."

"Once I respawn, I will kill the both of you-" Celestia said, then immediately shut up as she spawned. At first there was only confusion on her face, which turned to realization, and turned to utter anger.

She was in a 3x3 room, sealed off with only a torch and a sign inside. Worst part, the walls, floor, and ceiling were all made of obsidian. She peered at the sign.

"BUUUURRRRNNN" it read, and she made a temporal rage face. Instead of letting out the rage, she somehow managed to contain it; and started punching a block of obsidian with her hand.

"I'll get out of here eventually." she sighed frustratedly.

"Eventually." Luna said, and shared a laugh with Cadence.

*

So that carried on as Luna and Cadence found more supplies and invaded Celestia's cave. The diamond pickaxe was nowhere to be fond though, burned away in the lava.

"At least there's still a chest full of ion." Luna said, moving the contents of a wooden chest into her inventory.

Suddenly they heard Celestia roar and slam the controller down onto the floor.

"She must've found out that the room has five layers of obsidian..." Cadence whispered, a hint of a smile in her voice.

"Mmm-hmmm." Luna nodded, as if it wasn't a big deal and continued on taking everything she could find.

Night was quick to settle again, the entire world darkening. There were no torches outside, just complete darkness- or it was supposed to be that way.

"Torch light?" Cadence asked, standing on the edge of a cliff with Luna, overlooking the vast plains.

"Probably a village." Luna said.

"Village? Who built it?" Cadence asked, peering at the bright spot on the horizon.

"Computer generated." Luna started heading down, jumping from block to block down the side of the cliff. "Let's go check it out."

"OK- eeep!" Cadence squealed.

All Luna saw was a slight blur fall past her screen, and a loud crack and 'OOOMF'.

"Nice." she said to the words 'ILuvShiningArmorXOXO hit the ground too hard' on her screen.

"I need more practice rock climbing." Cadence said, respawning in the obsidian room with Celestia. "Hey." she said rather awkwardly.

Celestia just glared at her angrily, only two blocks into the obsidian wall.

"Guess I'll be checking out this village on my own then." Luna said, running off towards the light spot. Suddenly she saw a tall dark figure turn around in front of her, its purple eyes staring menacingly at her. "ENDERMAN!!!" she screamed, quickly running off in the opposite direction.

Purple spots started appearing on Luna's screen, and a second later the Enderman had teleported in front of her, in its hands held a dirt block. With a single attack it took away a quarter of Luna's health.

"AAAAH!" she yelped, jumping back and running away. There were purple spots appearing here and there occasionally, telling her that the Enderman was right behind her.

She ran towards the village, being the only place where she might make it indoors and shut the Enderman out. Sure, it could teleport in- but if she stands just outside its attack range on the other side of the door, it might keep trying to walk through it.

She was at the the edge of the village now, and she jumped onto the wooden blocks keeping the water of a small wheat farm in. She quickly ran up to a house, opened the door, got in, and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Phew." she said, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. The Enderman was right outside, standing against the door and staring in. Now she had to take care of it somehow... But all she had was an ion shovel she salvaged from Celestia's cave.

SCREW IT.

She hit the Enderman with the shovel, and with a flash of purple bubbles it disappeared.
"Oh sh-" Luna quickly turned around, already swinging the shovel.

She hit the Enderman again, and once again it teleported away.

"AAARRRGGHHH!!!" Luna growled frustratedly, swinging the shovel at everything she looks at.

*Two hours later...

Luna huffed and puffed, her hooves aching from repeatedly slamming the button. Finally the Enderman had died, and she stood victorious in the village.

"The hay happened here?" Celestia asked, approaching Luna with Cadence.

"There was a fight." Luna said, pulling on a hard-out poker face. The village had been torn apart, holes ripped in the walls and everything completely demented.

"Huh." Cadence said, raising an eyebrow out of suspicion.

"So. Stronghold." Luna quickly diverted the topic. "We should probably just start from Celestia's cave. Since it's already unground."

"Right." Celestia said. "We already started." she threw Luna a diamond pickaxe.
"Huh." Luna said, picking up the pickaxe.

*

"You barely started." Luna said, looking at the cave that seemed pretty much the same. Just some holes in the walls where diamond used to be. The cave was still lit only by the pool of lava in the middle of it. "Any ideas on how to go past this?" she gestured at the lava.

"Get mining." Celestia said, trying to dig around it. "Damn- all there is here is just stone. Should probably save this diamond pickaxe for later- NOOO!!" she yelled as she pressed the wrong button, tossing the pickaxe into the lava.

For minutes they just stared at where the diamond pickaxe had evaporated in the lava.

"Good going. I'm moving on." Luna said, keeping on digging where Celestia left off. Cadence moved to join her while Celestia continued staring at the lava.

"Well. That sucks." she finally moved, using only her stone pickaxe.

Within a matter of minutes they managed to work their way around the lethal and consuming pool of lava.

"Look what I found here." Luna said, peering into a much larger cave. "Looks like the bottom of that valley earlier." she peered up at the edges. "Wait. It is." the sun was already up, and at the top there was a small hole with light pouring through where Celestia committed suicide earlier.

"It just feels so weird, the sun and moon automatically going through the cycles." the princess of the day said.

"If only the real world could be like this. I could sleep in." Luna said, walking into the valley.

"I think we should put torches down." Cadence pointed out. Only a few columns of lava lit up the vast valley- plenty of darkness for evil critters to spawn.

"Come on. There's nothing here-" Luna's eyes widened as she heard a loud hiss behind her. She screamed, jumping away. The explosion ripped through several layers of stone ground, leaving Luna huffing and puffing from the sudden scare. "Half a heart..." she breathed. "Half!"

"Yeah. Let me help you with that." Celestia hit her sister, and NightmareMoon0102 was slain by Molestia5000.

"Buck." Luna said, back at the spawn.

"There has to be a stronghold somewhere here." Cadence said, looking along the valley walls and placing down torches. "We should make a small house here and set the spawn."

"Good idea." Celestia said, starting by placing down blocks of cobblestone that overflowed her inventory.

*

"Im going to start hunting for food. You girls'll probably starve to death down there. Here, birdie birdie birdie..." Luna said, having acquired a bow and quite an impressive number of arrows.

"You can eat the animals!?" Cadence's eyes widened in horror and disgust.

"It's not really graphic, so it's all goods." Luna said, pulling the bow string all the way back and slowly creeping towards a chicken, still unaware of her presence. There was a loud pop as she let the arrow go. "Now I need a furnace." she said as she picked up the meat.

"Just carry the meat back to the house. We have one." Cadence said, sitting beside a burning furnace; trying to make glass. Somehow there was a bit of sand down here, so- why not?

"Got it. Damnit- it's getting dark again." Luna said, looking up at the moon. She would've lowered it again if she could. Just hunt down this last pig...

She started creeping towards the animal, oinking away at the night air and jumping around for no particular reason. Luna was hidden behind a dirt block, the crosshairs trained a little above the pig. She slowly shifted to the side to get a clearer shot, and released the button. The arrow arced through the air- bullseye.

Luna cheered, but a little bit too loudly- she didn't hear the quiet hisssssssssssss behind her.

Her screen exploded with white bubbles of smoke and boom that almost ruptured her eardrums. She screamed, leaping back and throwing the controller into the air. Her headphones fell off and clattered to the ground. The back wheels of the wheelchair caught in the furry carpet, and she toppled over and fell on her back.

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaayyy." she said, getting up and levitating her chair to the correct orientation. She picked up her controller, and was tempted to press 'exit to main menu', but decided against it. In fact, her hoof was hovering over the 'X' button when she changed options and slammed it down.

"Hurry Luna. Our hunger bars are kinda depleting." Cadence said.

"Shuddup." Luna said irritably.

After a few minutes of tracing her own steps(evident in the missing blocks in the tree trunks), she managed to find her stuff where it was in a large crater.

"Goodie." she said, picking up her items. This time she wasn't about to let her guard down. Now to find that stupid cave and live at the same time... Shouldn't be too hard for an experienced player of such.

*

"Girls girls girls girls!" Luna said, quickly running into the house and closing the door behind her, eyes wide and wild.

"Yay! Lulu's here." Cadence grinned, clapping her front hooves together.

"I... Made it!" Luna looked behind her.

"What- weren't you expecting it?" Celestia raised an eyebrow, then suddenly jumped back as a zombie poked its head through the closed door. "That's just one zombie though. Let me take care of it." she said, opening the door and slashing the zombie back with her stone sword.

Luna quickly closed the door. "Not ONE zombie! TWENTY zombie!"

All they heard were Celestia's brutal screams as the zombies slaughtered her- not quite the other way around.

"Does she have any diamond?" Luna asked.

"Nope." Cadence said as the screams dragged on.

"Then keep the door closed." Luna said, turning her attention back to the closed door. Soon, as the screams abruptly ended; the words 'Molestia5000 was slain by zombie' appeared.

"Good luck getting your stuff back. I recommend a bow and arrow." Luna said.

"Stuff you." Celestia said.

"Not sure what I did wrong." Luna said simply, moving to the furnace and cooking some meat.

"I'm going to start mining again." Cadence said, and somehow Luna for the first time noticed the big gaping hole in the middle of the house, guarded by a trapdoor so no mobs could climb from the depths and wreck havoc in the house.

By now they already have their beds placed down, so the spawns are set. Celestia spawned inside the room, glaring at Luna.

"Screw it. I'm going to try get my stuff." she said, running out the door. A few seconds later she reappeared inside the room. "Buck."

"Good job." Luna clapped.

"Who cares. Got infinite lives." Celestia said, storming out once again.

"Oh well. Bye." Cadence said, opening the trap door and descending into the cave below.

"Me follow." Luna said, closing the trapdoor behind her.

They descended into the darkness. The cave was pretty small, only several blocks across.

"K. I'm going to dig this way-" Luna hit the stone wall to her right. "And you dig down."
"Why do I dig down?" Cadence whined.

"Dunno. But you should." Luna said.

So they continued. Cadence stared warily at the floor beneath her character's feet, but decided to start mining anyway- which she soon regretted.

Luna heard a loud yelp behind her, and turned around. Funny thing is, there was only a hole in the ground and no Cadence. And no death message popped up either.

"Cadence?" she called out, slowly approaching the hole. Light was flooding out of it, and she already knew what was inside before she peaked in. "Cadence?" she peered over the edge.

"Holy... Cow..." Cadence said, standing on one single block of stone amidst a sea of lava with no visible end.

"Wow. That's just... Incredible." Luna said, watching some sparks leap from the lava and jump around.

"No, I mean- there actually is a cow down here." Cadence said, looking at something Luna couldn't see from her angle. Seconds later a loud 'MOOOO' was heard. Luna quickly shook her head.

"Do you have anything to get back up here?" she asked.

"I got nothing!" Cadence said, sorting through her inventory. Only her diamond pickaxe remained amongst boxes and boxes of emptiness. "I emptied everything I didn't need out so I would have space for other stuff!"

"Smart." Luna said, and even she couldn't tell whether or not she was being sarcastic.

"Gimme some stone blocks!"

"Right. Here-" Luna said, then started making a gurgling noise as she threw a stream of stone blocks down at Cadence. She made a vomiting sound, as the character in the game looked like it was vomiting stone blocks.

*Five minutes later...

"I-I really think that's enough." Cadence said, standing on one single stone block filled up by other blocks. Her inventory was full of stone, and way more than she needed. She looked up at the still pouring stream of blocks. "You can stop now."

"Okay." Luna said, going back to mining.

Then something clicked in Cadence. Where the buck did she get all this?

"I... I got my stuff back!" Celestia announced, climbing the ladder and coming into the cave. She accidentally fell, and with only half a heart left; immediately was killed. "AAH! You know what!? Buck this game. I need a cookie." she said, dropping her controller and storming out of the room without even clicking 'respawn' first.

"Cadence! Psssst- Cadence!" Luna whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Don't come up here yet! Put this down there first- then come up!" Luna tossed something down the hole.

Cadence saw the item appear in her inventory, processed Luna's instructions, and immediately had a sinister smile creep onto her face. She put down two stone blocks in the lava, and laid down Celestia's bed. She quickly jumped up, and made a tower that carried her up to the top.

"Is it done?" Luna asked, still digging through the layers of stone.

"It is." Cadence said with evil glee.

"Good. Now help me mine."

Suddenly water gushed out of a hole they mined in the wall, flooding into the narrow corridor. The torches placed on the ground were washed away, and almost instantly everything went black.

"Well... This is... Kinda dark." Cadence said, hearing the slushing of water as she and Luna were washed back into the cave- which was a dark mass right now.

"Shuck." Luna muttered as she heard the loud and angry growl of a recently spawned zombie right next to them.

Celestia came back into the room, still munching on a cookie as she sat down and clicked 'respawn'.

"Huh." she said once the map loaded, standing on her bed and in the middle of a near endless sea of lava. "What is a cow doing here?

Part 3

"LLLLLEEEEETTT'SSSS PLAAAYYY!!!" A male voice boomed across the dark room, and all three alicorns leapt out of their seats.

"What the hay was THAT!!??" Luna looked around the darkness, her eyes wide with panic.

"Is there anyone else in here?" Celestia raised an eyebrow, scrambling to her hooves and putting her chair upright. Her horn glowed, illuminating the room. There was nothing but the closed door and the dim glow from their monitors and controller indicator lights.

"Well I guess it's nothing then. Let's continue, aye." Cadence said, quickly dismissing the odd encounter.

"For some reason I have the word 'X-Ray' in my head." Luna rubbed her head, frowning. Then she dismissed it as nothing and put on her headphones.

"You're wearing them backwards again." Celestia pointed out to Cadence as she put hers on too.

"No I'm not." Cadence raised an eyebrow, getting back in her seat.

"Yes, you are. I can see it." Celestia said flatly.

"Well it's more comfortable this way." Cadence shrugged, and Celestia shook her head.

"Alright. Picking up where we left off...." Luna clicked her shoulders and hooves, and picked up her controller.

"Oh yeah. Luna." Celestia's expression dimmed.

"Yes, dear sister?" Luna smiled in a sickly nice manner.

"Get me out of here." Celestia said, looking up from the bottom of the pit, on her bed and amongst a sea of lava.

"What's that?" Luna giggled. "I can't hear you!"

"Get me out of here."

"Magic word."

"No."

"Nuh-uh. Then you ain't getting out of there." Luna would've made a troll face if she knew how to wrinkle up her entire face.

"Fine." Celestia almost snarled. "Get me out of here, PLEASE."

"Nnnnnope." Luna laughed, and started humping the air above the only opening to the cave.

"B-b-but-"

"I didn't say the magic word would work." Luna started dancing around the opening.

"Luuuunaaaa...." Celestia whined.

"Oh, fine. You need stuff to get back up here right?" Luna grinned. "Here, have a bunch of wood." She said, and her in-game character started letting loose a barrage of vomiting. She made a gurgling noise to go with it as hundreds of wood blocks were thrown down the opening.

"Cool. Tha-" Celestia picked up the blocks, and it took a slight second for her eyes to adjust to the items in her inventory. But when they did... "LUNA!" She yelled.

"Something wrong?" Luna asked.

"Fences. How the buck, am I supposed to climb up with FENCES." Celestia growled.

"Dunno. Figure that out yourself." Luna laughed, sealed up the opening, and went to go keep mining with Cadence.

"Hey Luna. We ran out of food again." Cadence said, punching the stone blocks with a diamond pick axe.

"What!? HOW??" Luna yelled. "I GOT SOME A MINUTE AGO!!"

"I got hungry." Cadence said. "So I ate it all. Now go make a sandwich."

Luna looked at her hunger bar. It wasn't exactly in the best state.

"Note I can't make sandwiches in this game." She said. "And even if I did manage to make one, it would be for me."

"Please?" Cadence tried.

"There we go." Luna said, going to fetch her bow and arrows.

"HOW COME IT WORKS WHEN CADENCE SAYS IT!?" Celestia felt like wrangling Luna's neck, as per usual with these two royal sisters.

"Cause Cadence is cuddly-wuddly." Luna said, and strangled Cadence with a hug.

"Alright. One, is your sister not? And two, am I missing anything?" Celestia raised an eyebrow.

"No, and no." Luna grinned. "Oh yeah. Since this is a princess slash alicorn meet up, why isn't Fluer or Twilight here?"

"Pffffft. Twilight? She's too busy doing all the work that I can't be bothered doing. And Fluer's probably busy hogging Fancy Pants." Celestia said.

Awkward silence fell upon the room, in which only clicks of controllers were heard.

"So, basically this is the forever alone meet up." Luna said slowly, and her sister nodded.

"Speak for yourselves." Cadence said proudly, drawing annoyed glances from the siblings.

"Alright. I'm outside." Luna said, choosing not to reply to Cadence. "Here, little critters. Moooo..." She started, creeping around in the tall grass.

"Stop, Luna. It's getting really creepy. Sooner or later I'm gonna start thinking you're a real carnivore." Cadence noted, then from the corner of her eye saw a bit of Celestia's screen. Curiosity taking over, she peered over. "You've been awfully quiet. Watcha doin?"

"Building a bridge." Celestia replied, somewhat proudly. "Used the bed as a step, and now I'm on the fence posts. Tease it..." She muttered, concentrating on her screen and controller. She was placing down the fence posts and building a bridge to the little platform where the odd cow was. The posts weren't touching the lava, so technically- from experience anyway- they shouldn't catch fire.

"Clever." Cadence nodded with a 'not bad' expression on her face, and returned to her screen. More mining and punching stuff.

Luna gasped. "I found cow." There was an obvious sound as she pulled the bow into full tension.

"Luna."

"Yes?"

"STAHP."

"Nope." Luna said, and released the bow. "Ooh MARK NUUUTT!!!" She yelled, then frowned at herself. The other two turned to look at her. "Why did I even say that? WHAT THE HAY DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!??? Oh well. Beef for... Lunch? If I get back in time. Otherwise it's dinner. Oh wait- it's gonna be dinner." She sighed as the sky started turning orange, the area around her darkening and accompanied by a certain degree of lag. "Just wait for me to get back. Need more meat."

"Yeah. Just don't get killed." Cadence said- a bad omen.

A few minutes later...

"Ha! I finally built this damn bridge!" Celestia said triumphantly, and was just about to step down onto solid land when she heard a loud 'MOOOOO'.

Something brown flashed onto her screen, and she saw that she was being pushed.

"NO COW NO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!???" She yelled, but it was too late.

"Moooo."

"Molestia5000 tried to swim in lava. Really? What happened to the bridge?" Cadence raised an eyebrow.

Celestia faked a sob. "Why... Cow... Why.... I thought we were friends...."

Cadence held a hoof up to her throat and coughed. "Your sister killed my family." She said in a thick stallion's voice, mimicking her idea of a cow.

"Then banished to the moon she shall be." Celestia said jokingly, pressing the respawn button.

"Alright. I got enough stuff now-*HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*"

The hissing sound made Luna's spine shiver, and in her panic she ran right into the creeper.

There was a loud boom, and sand blocks flew everywhere they exploded into small white bubbles of smoke.

"Oh... My... God...." Luna was left panting from the adrenaline rush and the scare. She looked up, making sure there were no more on the sand plains. "Half a heart.... HALF! How did I survive that..." She sighed, turned around and started singing. "I'm alive, I'm alive I'm ali- buck! BUCK! YOU MOTHER BUCKER!! BUCK BUCK BUCK!!" She started screaming curses at her monitor, stomping on the ground.

"Well." Cadence said. "NightmareMoon0102 was pricked to death. That must've been pleasant."

"I BUCKING TURNED AROUND AND IT WAS RIGHT THE BUCK THERE!!!" Luna raged, flinging her controller about. Cadence ducked down just in time to avoid getting hit in the head.

"Buck you cow." Celestia said, having respawned and climbed over the bridge again. She punched the cow as it drew near, which was a bad idea since it was immediately driven crazy and started running in circles. "Wait- no no NO! Buck." She cursed as she was knocked into the lava again. But as she started taking damage, she also started punching the cow. It didn't do much though, but in the end it fell in with her. "Damn right." She said.

"Am I the only one who doesn't have some tragic death lingering around me?" Cadence raised an eyebrow. "Ooh. More diamond."

Luna and Celestia looked at each other, and nodded. They said no more.

Celestia finally made it to the other end without cow-tastrophe striking, and let out a sigh of relief. Now she just had to follow this cave and see where it would take her.

"You know what I have problems with?" Luna said, building something in the cave that Cadence was in. She put down a switch, and started punching it around even if it did nothing. "Switches. That's what I have problems with."

"What kind of problems?" Celestia asked, still wandering through the tunnel.

"I'm fine with this one, where you can see the effect. But the digital ones on my phone that say either 'on' or 'off'."

"Yeah, well; what about them?"

"I can never tell what it means." Luna said, and Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Like, it says 'on' on the switch, what the hay does it mean? Does it mean 'press to turn on', or does it mean 'this is on'? Knowing which one makes all the difference."

"Usually it means 'this is on'...." Celestia said slowly.

"Yeah, but what if it means 'press to turn on'? And I accidentally left it 'off' the entire time?"

"You know, all I can think of is how hilarious it would be if somepony changed the button to arm our secret stash of nukes to one of those switches. Luna would go crazy over whether or not the nukes are armed." Celestia chuckled, and Luna threw a poisoned look at her.

"What, so she blows up half of Equestria because of her confusion?" Cadence laughed.

"Anyhow..." Celestia sighed. "Darn it, it's freakin dark in here." She said. There was practically no light in this part of the tunnel. "I feel like I've been going up for quite a while now- might be able to just dig my way...." She started punching the ceiling, expecting it to be stone. But instead, she heard a loud crunch and the next thing she knew her health bar was draining.

Must've punched one of those suspended sand ceilings- and now all the blocks were coming crashing down on her. She tried jumping and walking around to get out of the sand, but it wasn't working as the entire area was made of it.

"Son of a mule." She muttered as the message 'you died' flashed onto her screen.

"Molestia5000 suffocated in a wall. How the hay did you manage to do THAT?" Cadence looked at her incredulously.

"I. Don't. Know." Celestia murmured through gritted teeth.

"How about we give you a peaceful respawn and you do all the digging and mining and work for us?" Luna laughed.

"Nnnngh." Celestia murmured, not even listening to Luna and keeping her eyes on the screen.

"How about we give you a peaceful respawn and you find five diamond ore blocks for us?"
"Nnngh."

"How about I shove my horn up your arse?"

"Nngh. Wait, what?"

"What are you even doing?" Luna peered curiously at Celestia's screen.

Celestia was in the cave again, but it would seem she found something...

"Girls." She said, her character looking up at the ceiling of the cave. The sand had fallen away to reveal something they'd been looking for all night... Stone bricks. "Oh my good holy self. I found a dungeon."

Luna stared at her screen for a short second, then leaned back to hers. "Wait there."

"Diamond sword... Armor... Bow and arrow..." Cadence murmured to herself, punching open a few chests back at what they now call 'HQ', which was the stone house at the bottom of the valley. She emptied her inventory, then packed it up with weapons and equipment.

Luna followed her example, but instead of storing her mined blocks she just dumped them down a hole in the ground and left them to burn up in the lava below.

"Now, to get down there." Cadence muttered. She should have enough diamond armor to survive the drop, she'll just need to be able to recover health later on. For that she had a ton of cooked pork chops to eat. "Alright..." She took in a deep breath. "Let's hope I don't miss the platform. Three, two, on-EEEEP!!" She squealed as Luna punched her with a fist and knocked her into the hole in the floor. She fell straight through, and landed with a crack and an 'oomf' at the bottom, safely away from lava.

"Did you make it?" Luna called from high above.

"Half a heart! I got pork chops though." Cadence yelled back.

"How do earth ponies and unicorns even survive without wings?" Luna wondered to herself, and followed Cadence down the opening. There was a loud crack as she landed on the stone, but held. She quickly ate a few cooked meats and recovered some health.

"To the dungeon!" Cadence sang and hopped on the fence bridge Celestia had made.

Luna followed, using her gamer experience and running across the narrow bridge with relative ease. That is, until she took an arrow to the knee and her character tripped and fell into the lava.

"The buck...?" She barely reacted when all her health drained and her equipment was left to burn in the lava.

"Mwahaha." Celestia said, throwing the bow and arrows back at Cadence who gave them to her earlier. "Cadence did it."

"I HAD ALL MY DIAMOND EQUIPMENT!!! THAT I WAS MINING AND SAVING UP FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS!!" Luna screamed at the respawn button. "WHY THE BUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!???"

"Um, revenge...?" Celestia went for that, but didn't take her eyes off the screen.

"Uh, aunt...?" Cadence said, nudging Celestia on the elbow. "Celestia."

"What?" Celestia groaned, irritated. Cadence pointed at Luna, and she looked up. "Uh-oh."

Luna's eyes were hidden under the shadow of her mane, and her horn was glowing a dim light-blue. Celestia and Cadence could see the shadows behind she stirring, shifting and turning as if they had a life of their own. Then Luna lifted her head just a slight bit, and her eyes glowed a brilliant white that out-shone all the screens in the room and lit up the darkness in front of her.

"THOU INCOMPETENT TROLLS-" she spoke normally, but somehow her voice was louder than fifty megaphones combined. Even as she said this, her horn was glowing an even more intense and brighter blue than ever before. And its area of effect was increasing as well- the light slowly breaking away from her horn. Celestia and Cadence could only watch dazed as the furniture around them floated into the air, and started circling Luna in a storm of material. "-THOU SHALL TASTE THE NIGHT'S WRATH!!" She yelled, her voice splitting between high and low vocals all at the same time.

*

Chrysalis heard a dull 'boom' in the distance, and looked up from her usual routine of sulking in the desert wilderness in which she currently controlled with her changeling subjects. She watched as a small fireball exploded out the side of Canterlot, flinging several chunks of building material down the cliff. Then the explosion was followed by a loud siren, one that was often heard when tsunamis were approaching. The whaling was faint all these miles over here, but still audible.

"You, come over here." Chrysalis waved lazily at one of her changeling commanders. He fluttered down next to her, standing at full attention. "Remind me... Did I order a bomb strike on Canterlot? I don't remember anymore..."

*

Several days later...

There was a gentle knock on the door to Celestia's bedroom. The princess of the sun looked up with an annoyed grunt- she already knew who was behind the door. "Come in." She said.

"Heeey sis..." Luna sang sheepishly, with a big cheesy grin on her face as she opened the door a slight bit and peered in. "You getting better?"

Celestia was lying on her queen-sized bed, her left back leg in a thick cast and suspended from the ceiling. Half her face was covered in bandages, and so were her wings and parts of her front legs. Her usually vibrant and colorful mane was much less vibrant and colorful today.

"No." She said in reply to Luna's hopeful question, her horn glowing as she lowered a piece of paper from her eyes with a levitation spell.

Luna's grin turned to something uncertain as she saw her sister's blank and angry face.

"Soooo..." She mumbled. "What ya read'n?"

"Complaints." Celestia said, and with a flutter of paper brought the sheet back up to her eyes. "Need to account for about three hundred broken windows in the local area because of an 'unidentified shockwave', and need to repair the castle. About twelve k altogether."

"Nothing we can't repay in taxes.... Right?" Luna tried, but the angry glare she got from her sister was none less furious than that of the burning sun's. "Alright... Uh.... How's Cadence?"

"Resting." Celestia replied, slightly muffled by the bandages. "That's what she tells me anyways. I can't be so sure... I keep hearing these continuos banging noises next door though."

"Has Shining Armor been over recently?"

"It's the bloody Easter holidays. He's off duty for the time being. Why-" then realization dawned on what little still showed through her bandaged face. "Ooh..... Right."

"Yeah. So... I'll just be leaving you to your rest... And... Expenses..." Luna said, gingerly backing out the door.

"Hold it Luna-" Celestia said, and Luna froze. "You were responsible for all the damage caused. You should be paying for all this."

"But I don't have any money left after that shopping spree at comic con!" Luna wailed.

"I know." Celestia said matter of factly. "That's why you have two options. Either sell all your video games(which should be just enough to compensate that twelve thousand bits), or..."

"Or...?" Luna asked hopefully.

"You could do some labour work."

"I'll pick the labour." Luna said immediately.

"You sure? I haven't gone into the details yet-"

"Nothing touches my video games." Luna said definitely.

"Alright then..." Celestia sighed, and face-hoofed. Although it hurt, it was a gesture she simply had to add in. "We're running out of boulders to randomly throw into Ponyville and halt construction there... So, I need you to go to the moon and mine me some more."

Later that day as the sun went down Twilight Sparkle noticed the craters on the moon had once again formed a familiar figure....

Author's Note

Hey guys! Part 3. It's been four months hasn't it.... Ah well. Might write more of it later

Part 4

"OH MY GOD WAT IS HAPPENING-"

"STOP HITTING ME-"

"I CAN'T SEE!"

"LUNA? LUNA IS THAT YOU?"

"WHERE AM I!?"

"CREEEEEEPEEERRR!!"

boom.

*

Earlier...

"So it's been a while." Luna said, wriggling the control stick. Then she caught Celestia and Cadence's glares, and pulled on a straight face. "And that was due to no one's fault. At all. No one's." she said with a huff.

"So technically we did find a dungeon. We just didn't do anything." Celestia said, once again giving Luna that glare.

"We still gotta explore it." Luna noted. "Lead zee way!" She hit her sister with a pickaxe.

"Oi!"

Cadence stood under a tree some fifty blocks away. They were on the surface, in an open area with a small forest off to the side. It was quite a peaceful scene as she panned her view around the grassy plains- cows and sheep here and there, with a few chickens running about. The sun shone down over the few trees growing in the vast emptiness, with the odd cactus in a small circle of sand. She kept panning, taking in the full view.

Then she spotted the two sisters fighting it out with wooden pickaxes out in the distance, each trying to score critical hits by jumping up. It looked kinda peaceful, oddly enough, since she couldn't hear the 'OOMF's from over here.

She held down the left trigger and gobbled down an apple with a satisfying series of crunches.

Finally Celestia's form fell, and Luna was seen swinging her axe at the sky in triumph, running in circles around where Celestia dropped her stuff. Just a few wooden blocks and the pickaxe that she tried to slay her sister with.

"Goddamnit!" The goddess of the sun cursed. "I thought we were going to the dungeon!"

"We were! But you hit me!"

"YOU HIT ME FIRST YOU MOON-HEADED PRICK!"

The argument and tension was starting to seep into real life as the two waved their hooves threateningly at each other, yelling insults.

"GuuUUuuys..." Cadence groaned over their consistently rising amounts of yelling. "Are we gonna go explore the dungeon or what?"

"Yeah, sure; but Luna has all my stuff!" Celestia finally stopped making gestures at her sister and pressed respawn. Her name tag popped up a little behind the forest.

"You have three wooden blocks and a wooden pickaxe." Luna said, opening her inventory.

"Just- GIVE THEM BACK!" Celestia came charging out of the woods.

"WAAIIT wait wait..." Cadence stepped between the two, just to avoid them killing each other again. The two stopped either side of her, growling menacingly at each other. "Okay. Luna, put her stuff on the ground and back away."

"Grrrrr..." The moon princess spat out the three wooden blocks and pickaxe, crouched, and slowly backed away- swinging her pickaxe at the air a few times with menace. "Grrr..."

Cadence made way for Celestia as she retrieved her items. Once she did, Luna stood up and tucked her pickaxe away, the tension seemingly floating away.

"Lead. The way." She growled, then waved her fist around for a bit.

"Hit me again and I'll shank ya mate-" Celestia started.

"Oh for-" Cadence groaned. "Wait, it's dark now?"

"...Crap."

*

"Does NOPONY have a torch? Like, really?" Luna remarked, following Celestia's name tag. She could barely see anything in front of her, and since no one thought to bring a source of light with them- they were left stranded in the night.

They followed each other's tags, running about and waiting for the night to pass.

"Man... I hear things." Celestia muttered, the soft growl of a zombie echoing in the night.

"AH!" Luna cried out as her character was struck. She lost a few hearts, and quickly looked around for her attacker. Her sights rested on Celestia. "How dare you attack me when my back is turned!"

Cadence whistled a soft tune to herself as she tucked away the bow.

"Ack! Luna! Stop hitting me!"

"YOU HIT ME FIRST-"

"Okay, okay! Just... STOP!" Celestia ran around in circles. Luna tried following her tag, but kept running into trees.

*

The two sisters and their cousin continued on, the two main monarchs of Equestria having lost most of their hearts in a brawl. The night still remained, however.

"AH! CELESTIA!" Luna lost another few hearts.

"What? I'm over here!" Celestia cried out, ten blocks away and searching for anything that could be of use. "What happened?"

"Someone hit me..." The moon princess pouted. "Wait, if you're over there; and Cadence in behind me... Who the hell is this?"

"Grrrrrr." The zombie said.

"OH MY GOD ZOMBIE-"

"WHERE? WHERE!?"

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

"I DON'T HAVE MY HORN!"

"DIE ZOMBIE SCUM!" Luna cried, swinging her pickaxe as hard as her character possibly could. She was taking hits as well. "AAAH I'M GONNA DIE!" She mashed the right trigger furiously.

"Where the hell did all these zombies COME FROM!?" Celestia cried. Then her screen turned red and the two oh-so-familiar options popped up. "Phuck, I'm dead."

"Huh?" Luna looked at her pickaxe in confusion, then at the words 'Molestia5000 was slain by NightmareMoon0102' by the side of her screen. "What?"

"Grrrrr." The zombie repeated, giving the half-hearted Luna a soft nudge. A number of wooden blocks, stone, and other items exploded across the night.

"NightmareMoon0102 was slain by zombie." Cadence announced, then put an arrow in the zombie's head. The second one dropped it, and she hid the bow again before any of the sisters saw her.

"Damnit Luna!" Celestia screamed as she respawned and spotted what killed her.

"What? You were hitting me too!"

The two brawled it out for a while at their spawn point, then continued on their path towards Cadence's tag. By the time they made it, the sun had risen again.

Cadence made a few sound effects as she 'dropped' all of the sisters' stuffs.

"BLARGBLEBLARGH-" She ran in circles, her character looking skyward and vomiting up wood and the like. She was reabsorbing some of the dropped items as she ran around, throwing them out again half a second later for the others to pick up.

Having recollected their items, the trio once again sets off to re-find the found dungeon. Celestia leads them to the valley, the one containing their cave which then houses their... House. If that box of miscellaneous blocks could even be called that.

"I'm getting memories." Celestia commented, peering down the hole in the floor that she was once trapped in. The sea of lava was still there, with her bridge made from fence posts and several stone blocks still standing.

"I can see a problem here." Cadence whistled.

Luna looked up. "We have to go down there, don't we?"

Celestia nodded.

The trio stood by the one-by-one hole in the ground, contemplating. How to get down there without getting killed...

"Water?" The sun princess suggested.

"Yup." The other two nodded.

*

"Hey I got sixty-four sand." Luna reported. Their plan to dump water down the hole and ride to safety had been cancelled when Celestia went down first and was pushed into the lava by a strong current. The two others decided to come up with a different plan involving the game's physics regarding sand blocks whilst waiting for Celestia to return.

"Alrighty, take two." Celestia said, now with an empty inventory. "Hey, uh... Guys? Can I have, like, a tool?"

"Hold on." Cadence placed down a crafting table, and began working away. Celestia waited, tapping her hooves impatiently while Luna started chucking sand down the hole. Finally the pink princess picked up her crafting table, slowly backed away, and threw something at Celestia's feet.

*

A few minutes had passed and Celestia was still chasing Cadence around the cave with the wooden hoe provided by her. Luna hummed to herself as she finished filling up the hole in the ground.

"Guys! I'm done!"

The two stopped to look at her. The glow from the lava pit below was sealed off by a block of sand. The trio stood by the one-by-one block, once again silent.

"So... Who's going first?" Luna looked around at the others.

"Let's all go together. Otherwise it'll take too long." Cadence suggested. "Wait, actually; you and Celly go first. I'll go see if I can find some diamonds around here- I remember there was some, I just didn't mine it."

"Right. You do that. Come on sis!" Celestia stood atop the sand block, mining it down a few.

"Bye tia!" Luna cried, giving Celestia a single hit. It knocked her off the sand pillar, flying into the abyss of lava and screaming "LUNA WHYYYY". Celestia could still hear her sister's maniacal giggling as she slowly burnt to death in molten rock.

"Ugh." She sighed. "I had nothing anyway."

It took them awhile, each of them having to go one at a time and reconstruct the sand tower with each turn. Eventually they all made it down however, and Cadence volunteered to stay behind and construct a ladder for them to use later.

"I went collecting resources when you guys were getting down. I'll meet you at the dungeon." She waved, building a stone tower as a base for the ladders to cling to a little to the side.

The sisters simply shrugged, and Celestia started walking across her bridge of fence posts. Luna followed, wary of all the lethality around them.

They navigated the caves on the other side for a bit, mining a few blocks here and there for later. Whilst trying to locate the dungeon, they also got into an argument regarding Twilight's coronation.

"What's the point of promoting her? I thought you already had everything covered." Luna remarked, absorbing a cobblestone block.

"Well, it's kinda lame if you're an alicorn but not a princess. Plus, now that she has wings; she'll have plenty of awkward moments to deal with instead of constantly bothering me. Also, I have less work now." Celestia replied primly.

"Too bad Flash Sentry's in the crystal empire." Luna muttered.

"I can have him transferred! Like, personal bodyguard; maybe?" Cadence called out.

"Well if THAT isn't going to create a rave with the bro-"*HISSSSSSSSSSS*

Luna retorted with her own 'OOOOOOOOOOOOH' and smacked the creeper across the face with a block of dirt. It bounced back to her sister and exploded.

"One heart left. Great." Celestia said, pixelated white smoke fading away around her.

"Hey guys I got the ladder set!" Announced the pink pony princess.

"Then get down here!"

"No! I need to shear some sheep! We still need beds!"

"Fine! Just... Hurry up!" Luna went back to mining.

"You'll be missing out on a lot!" Celestia agreed. "Hey sis I found the entrance!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah! I can hear skeletons and stuff in there!"

"Alright... Hold on, got mah iron sword out."

"There it is..." Celestia peered up at a large wall made of stone bricks. Moss slithered along some of them, the growling of zombies and jiggling of skeletons ever present as waves of echoes traveling through the wall.

"What treasures do you think lie behind it?" Luna nodded towards the wall.

"Who knows." Celestia whispered. "Gold, diamonds! Armor! Swords! Make it grand... But they won't be easy to get."

"Shall we see what evils guard these treasures, sister?" Luna readied her sword, putting on her helmet.

Celestia nodded. The cave was dark, lit only by the two torches they placed down. It cast an eery orange glow over the ancient brick works as Luna placed a dirt block against the wall. She then carefully planted a TNT block atop of it, positioned dead center on the structure.

Celestia nodded again, and Luna lit the charge. The two sisters quickly scurried to the sides, Luna switching back to her sword. The bright orange block of explosives flashed, its fuse slowly depleting.

"BREACH AND CLEAR!" She shouted as the TNT charge went off. A loud 'BOOM' rang through the caves, white smoke pouring out from the center of the explosion. Cobblestone dropped from destroyed blocks, littering the floor like debris. Luna lost half a heart in the process, but she had many more.

However Celestia, it would seem; stood a little too close.

"Well now." Luna let out a sigh of frustration, staring at her sister's scattered items on the floor. An arrow whizzed past her helmeted head, and she reverted her attention to the dungeon. "CHAARGE!" She screamed, running in.

Skeletons poured out with their zombie friends to greet her, rounds and rounds of rudimentary projectile fire raining down over the moon princess as she dodged and weaved.

A few quick slashes with her sword knocked the mobs back. A few more killed the first wave. One of the zombies died from friendly fire.

Something exploded off to the side. Must've been a creeper. No matter, it only took away two hearts.

She switched to her secondary- the flint and steel. Celestia arrived shortly, sucking her sword off the ground with a loud 'pop' and assisting her sister in the fight.

Finally they finished off the last of the mobs, and were now standing back to back in an empty dungeon room with bits of bone, arrows, rotten flesh and spider eyes littering the floor. Their horns were strained from repeatedly applying magic to their right triggers.

"Woo!" Celestia cheered after a minute or so.

*

"Damn... It's freakin dark in here." Luna mumbled, slowly proceeding down a hallway. Not that she had a choice, she was kinda stuck in cobble web. And so was Celestia, slowly moving behind her.

"I can't see shet." Celestia agreed, watching her step. You never know when silverfish might randomly pop out and screw you over.

"Hey! There's something ahead. Stairs, maybe?" Luna peered at an area of even darker darkness in front of them.

"Where? Where?" Celestia shuffled past, and the both of them reached that patch at the same time.

Too bad for them it was just a hole dug straight down into the earth.

"OH MY GOD WAT IS HAPPENING-"

"STOP HITTING ME-"

"I CAN'T SEE!"

"LUNA? LUNA IS THAT YOU?"

"WHERE AM I!?"

*HISSSSSSSSSSS*

"CREEEEEEPEEERRR!!"

"Oh my GOD-"

An explosion rattled their controllers. The 'you died' message popped up on nopony's screen, and the sisters were still holding their breaths when the smoke faded.

"Holy shet. What. The phuck." Luna panned her view around the new cave they discovered. She saw nothing but Celestia's tag.

"Are you alright?" Her sister asked.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm good." Luna stumbled around for a bit. "Where... Are we...?"

"I haven't got a clue." Celestia murmured. "Hey, looks like we can go that way."

"Hold on." Luna switched to her flint and steel, making a small fire. They were not expecting what came next.

"Whoa..."

"The hay is this..."

They were inside a large cavern, directly in the center of it. The hole they fell into was right above them. Stone seemed to be the only type of block around here, lining the walls and creating a solid barrier.

"This thing shouldn't have been spawned by the system, right?" Celestia looked around.

"Dunno. It could've been." Luna started mining. "C'mon, let's find a way back up to the dungeon. No sense staying in a cave."

*

Cadence stepped past the hole in the ground that leads to the lava pit. The ladder has been constructed, but going down to meet up with the sisters isn't part of her plans as of now. She was headed to the far wall.

She stepped on a hidden pressure plate, and waited. The stone wall before her rumbled then parted, blocks folding down into the sides to create a clear path over seven blocks wide and five blocks high. As the stones parted, they revealed the hidden pistons beneath.

She walked past them, stepping on another pressure plate and closing the gateway behind her.

She stood on a small ledge, overlooking a pit of bubbling molten rock. Torches lined the sides of the cavern to provide additional lighting.

The crystal princess pressed a button off to the side, and a path of diamond blocks popped out from the pit of lava beneath- piston powered once again. They led to the wall on the far side, where a small two-by-two door of stone popped open.

Cadence made her way across the bridge, the diamond blocks sinking back into the lava after she steps on them. She went inside the doors, and they were instantly sealed shut- closing the secret entrance once more.

Soon... She thought, emerging into a large round room. The room was well lit, pictures hung on the walls, and some trees grew from blocks of grass.

In the center of it all was an enchantment table surrounded by bookshelves, perfectly aligned with the tall domed ceiling above.

She walked up to it, bringing out her precious diamond sword. Words and magical glyph marks swirled out from around a book which hovered above the table, drawing out some experience points from her character. They merged, fusing together and slowly sinking into the sword.

ILuvShiningArmorXOXO picked up her freshly enchanted and quite frankly now overpowered sword, watching its magic glimmer under the torchlight.

Soon.

Part 5

"Night hath arrived. This is our chance, we shall strike now when she is unaware!" Luna whispered, switching from a dirt block to a sword as she slowly advanced towards the Crystal Kingdom, its protective shield shimmering under the starlight.

"I can still hear you." Cadence's voice carried through the door, and Luna sighed and turned her microphone off.

It had been many nights since Princess Cadence's betrayal of the two sisters. Ever since she had slain them both while they weren't looking and looted their blocky corpses, Princess Luna and Princess Celestial have held a grudge against her. And thus a war began.

In the real reality, with pillows and mattresses and rage and alicorn levitation magic, they managed to ironically banish the Princess of Love to her bedroom. It became her fortress, and the door had remained locked since then, only ever opening for a certain prince- but that is not of relevance!

"Now, Luna, I have sixty-four ladder, we can probably climb the tower up to the balcony and shank her in her bed..." Celestia said.

"I can still hear you." Cadence replied, again. Probably because the one thing separating their two rooms in reality was nothing but an old wooden castle door. "And you'll never catch me."

"I want my diamonds back! And my magic wand!" Luna growled.

"It's a stick."

"Give it back!" She yelled, none the less.

"Not unless you can make me. You can't even make it through the shield! Ha!" Cadence exclaimed, though her voice was a little muffled through the door.

"Oh no. What will we do." Luna said sarcastically, and there was a loud 'tink' as glass broke.

"Dammit." They heard Cadence say. Apparently a shield made of glass was only aesthetically functional, and even then only on some basic level.

Cadence had really repurposed the Crystal Empire into one heck of a fortress. five retries later with four traps set off and one unexpected visit from a zombie pigman, the sisters had to devise a functional strategy of some sort, which basically consisted of everything except charging straight down the middle- which they have been doing for the past thirty minutes, as stubborn as a pair of goats.

"Okay. Here's the plan. We have wooden swords, just... Survive up to where we last were, get all our stuff again, and we can keep working from there." Luna sighed. She was tempted to just stay in that bed. Or storm into the other room and throw Cadence out the window, but a less physically violent option will do.

They had set their beds just outside the kingdom, and so far they haven't even been able to make it to the castle in the center yet.

"Slow down and watch for traps..." Luna warned, crouched low and holding up her oak sword defensively. She turned around to check on Celestia. "Don't you have a bucking sword?"

"I... Didn't have time..." Celestia murmured, her character slowly turning and looking towards the ground. Then she looked up, still holding a solid block of wood. "I can still club things to death."

"Look, just... Stay out of trouble." Luna sighed and rolled her eyes, continuing on down the center road.

Then she saw an arrow come flying off the balcony of the castle, and it struck her in the belly. Her character 'OOMF'ed and leapt back a few spaces, missing a few hearts.

Cadence continued shooting arrows at them from the balcony, silently watching.

"Go go go-" Luna ushered, turning left and quickly hiding in an alley way.

She looked up at the balcony, or at least where it should be, but 'ILuvShiningArmorXOXO' wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"She must be crouching..." Celestial murmured.

"Damnit..." Luna cursed, staring at the edge of her world. Really, she thought the five times they'd crossed over here would've fixed this chunk loading issue already. But oh well... She can at least survey what's ahead by looking through the unloaded world.

Not too far away was a building. It had been cut in half because of the glitch, and she could see lots of bookshelves in there. And a small balcony of sorts, a very well decorated interior.

"Looks like a library... We might be a able to cross through there. I mean, at least we won't have her shooting arrows up our butts anymore." Luna muttered, striding towards the other side, having been adequately fed up with waiting for the world to load.

"NightmareMoon0102 hit the ground too hard. Well alright." Celestia read aloud, staring down at Luna's corpse all the way at the bottom of the world amidst her angry screaming and Cadence's unrestrained giggling. "Well, you gotta give her that one though..."

"No! I ain't giving her BUCK!" Luna yelled. Sure, whatever. Brilliant troll. Haha.

"Should I wait for you?" Celestia turned to look back at the way they came, from the open road. "You know what I can probably build a bridge."

A few moments later...

"Yeah? How'd that work out for you?" Luna asked sarcastically, the words 'Molestia5000 hit the ground too hard' appearing on her screen.

"She ah... Sniped me off my bridge..." Celestial replied. She sounded less angered and more disappointed and defeated.

They managed to make it back to that alley a few minutes later, but this time Luna came prepared.

She checked her inventory- bucket of water, plus four stacks of sand.

They managed to traverse the fake chunk error with much more ease than their previous attempt, which rested as an unfinished single-file bridge of wooden blocks, with several
arrows embedded in them.

Though they still had to dodge fire from the balcony, when they were building up to ground level again the library gave them cover from Cadence's deadly barrage of arrows.

"She's being awfully quite." Luna noted as they quickly sprinted through the library.

"Wha-? Of course not! I mean, I'm not doing anything suspicious... Or anything..." Cadence denied.

Luna went up the stairs and charged at the exit, ignoring the zombies around her. It'd take them forever to fight through this mess.

"God- PHUCK-" She grumbled, having hit a pressure plate that links to the door, but also instinctively hit the door with her sword- making it open and close again and causing her to face-plant into it. She backed away to open it, but did the exact same thing again and stepped over the pressure plate. She ended up pulling out an axe and chopping the door down instead.

She emerged onto a separate road. The main castle was still visible, but a few nearby buildings gave her adequate cover.

"Celly?" She called out in hushed tones, looking around her in the dark.

"LUNA HAAAAAALP-" Celestia cried, running out of the doorless doorframe, followed by every zombie in the library ever. It might've been a bit more of a frantic chase if the zombies weren't moving at the speed of snail.

"Just hit them back! Jaysus!" Luna rolled her eyes impatiently, quickly fending off the zombies with a shovel. It was really more to knock them back than to actually kill them.

They made it to another door, and managed to get through and close it behind them without too much trouble this time.

*

Cadence broke one last dirt block with a satisfying crunch. The night sky greeted her, and she looked behind her to make sure the sisters hadn't noticed she had been digging a tunnel out of the empire. She had started digging down at the base of the tower, so hopefully they won't find out until they fight their way to the castle. She did play cautious and fill the entrance in, so they shouldn't be able to find it without a lot of mining around.

She sighed in relief, staring off at the empire, barely visible over several hundred block lengths of trees. She checked her inventory, pulling out a compass.

Time to do this.

*

"OH NOES-" Luna leapt back just in time as an arrow whizzed past her. "Hey! You missed!"

"Pop your head out again Luna I dare you." Cadence replied, and what appeared to be a warning shot hit Luna's cover.

"Cover me sister!" Luna hissed, sprinting out of cover.

Celestia aimed and fired. The castle was quite far away, she couldn't quite tell where Cadence was- she had to trace the return fire.

"Ow. You got me. You can stop now." Cadence said.

"Cadence please." Celestia murmured, as a few arrows hit near her. "Ow!" A few of her hearts disappeared. "OW-"

"I bucking hate you." Luna muttered, her eyes briefly flicking over Celestia's death message.

"Luna..."

"I'm kidding I love you." Luna sighed, went back to a side road and started mining through one of the buildings in an attempt to get closer while staying protected.

A few moments later she managed to chip away one of the solid blocks of diamond.

"Well okay... I'll just be leaving..." She murmured, slowly backing away from what appeared to be a house stuffed full of TNT. She had to be careful not to trip the switch, wherever it was. It probably also meant the other houses were similar, if not worse.

It was a shame she didn't think to bring a crafting table with her, since there weren't any trees here in the crystal kingdom. She could probably use that, some sticks, and make herself a set of diamond tools, what with the over-abundance of the material in this part of the world and all.

"Hey sis, you mind bringing me some wood when you come over?" She said.

"Yeah. Sure. Okay." Molestia5000 replied.

*

This is the spot, Cadence thought to herself, staring at a 1x1 space on the ground in the middle of nowhere. It had taken her far too long to get here, but it was where the compass points.

She suppressed a giggle to herself as she switched from the compass to a stack of obsidian.

*

"So how's Twilight doing?" Luna asked, as she carefully disarmed a trip wire that was probably attached to all sorts of bad things.

"Oh you know. Dealing with all the shite that I can't be bothered with." Celestia murmured with absolute honestly. No really, what point was there in lying? "They haven't written me a friendship report in a while... I feel like times are really changing nowadays."

"Really? But the wings you threw on her were totally fine?" Luna cast her a flat eyed gaze.

"Look, you had to admit that was well played. Now that she has more power everypony can go bother her instead of me. Mostly. Plus she deserved it, completing Starswirl's spell and all." Celestia shrugged, crafting a diamond pickaxe.

They were silent for a moment as they equipped themselves. There was enough diamond here to make a full set of armor. Plus five million more.

Luna put on her diamond helmet, then frowned.

"Wait, what the buck was Starswirl's spell meant to do in the first place?" She turned to look at her sister.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, initially it jumbled up the cutie marks of the Elements of Harmony- and then Twilight corrected it. And then you made her an alicorn and nothing more on the spell happened. So did she fix it, or did she just... Diffuse it?" Luna asked.

"I... She definitely fixed it..."

"Right, so what the hell did the spell do?" Luna growled in frustration.

After a few minutes of thinking about it, Celestia just shrugged.

"I dunno."

Luna looked like she was going to press on for more answers, but she rolled her eyes and started towards the castle again.

"Okay." She stated, and no further questions were asked.

*

"Where is it, where is eeet?" Cadence hummed to herself, searching around the forests outside the empire's glass 'shield' dome. It had to be around here somewhere... She circled around the perimeter of the kingdom, doing her best to search in the dark. But luckily, the sun was rising again.

*

"Alright! We made it!" Luna declared, waving her sword triumphantly in the air. It would have a better effect if the blood of all the mobs she had slain could show on the sword, in which case, it would be crimson with a hint of lime. Because brutal cave spiders.

"No you haven't." Cadence rejected.

"We're standing right here." Celestia stated, though they couldn't really see Cadence since they were below the tower, where the crystal heart chamber should be. It was there, but it was static and extremely crudely made. Literally just three diamond blocks arranged in a kinda-sorta-close-enough heart shape.

"Alright let's get up there and shank her with diamonds." Luna announced, spun in a circle for a bit, then frowned. "I uh... Where's the entrance?"

The tower stood on four legs. Whereas the real tower had doorways on the legs and stairs within, this minecraft version had none.

"Oh yeah. I forgot to put those in. Oops." Cadence murmured.

"Really? Well how the hell are we meant to get up there?" Luna seethed.

"Well... I mean, you aren't." Cadence replied, and Celestia mumbled her agreement:

"It's true."

"Well alright but..." Luna looked around. "God, earth ponies SUCK." She cursed. No wings, no magic. Great. It's not like brute strength'll be getting her anywhere with this one.

They'll just have to try slowly mining and replacing their way up to the balcony, which; they were fully aware Cadence could kill them from at any moment.

It took them ten minutes to get past the initial legs, at which point they were able to mine inwards and emerge in the interior of the castle. Bucking finally.

"You actually laid down the carpet. In the proper pattern." Celestia said, staring at the ground.

"Well you know. I had time." Cadence shrugged.

"We're coming to get you Cadence! You can't escape justice!" Luna yelled, charging further into the castle and valiantly slaying five zombies because she forgot about tripwires again.

They made it to the balcony, and she knocked down the door with an axe.

"RAARG- Where is she?" She stopped, swinging her axe aimlessly because there was no one here.

"Oh goddamnit." Celestia sighed, staring at the rows of arrow filled dispensers in disapproval. They were wired with red stone in a way that would allow them to fire periodically, and because of the various elevations and placements of the dispensers it would make it as if each shot was different, even though from a distance they all appear the same.

"WHERE IS SHE!?" Luna roared a little, breaking the circuitry in anger.

"Not telling." Cadence said.

"I WASN'T ASKING YOU!" Luna yelled, throwing a pillow at Cadence's door. She heard the thump and couldn't help a squeaky giggle.

"So you're asking me? How the buck am I supposed to know?" Celestia seemed offended.

"NO- I WASN'T- I WASN'T ASKING ANYONE!" Luna felt like clawing her face off. All that work to get here, for nothing.

They walked back into the main hall area again, Luna looking down, somewhat defeated.

"Hey, maybe-"

"Don't talk to me." She mumbled. Then she shook her head vigorously. No! They've come too far! "Damnit, we have to catch her! YOU HEAR ME CADENCE? WE'LL GET YOU!"

"Sure." Was Cadence's response, after a few seconds.

"Alright, sis. There's only one other door here." Luna growled, looking around the main hall. "She had to have gone through there. She had to have." She said.

"Okay." Celestia said, following suit.

"CHAARRGE!" Luna yelled, swinging her sword at nothing in particular. This time she actually took note of the pressure plate, and intentionally fought her instincts to press the 'open door' button.

But she rammed face-first into the door anyway.

"Wut...?" She asked, confused as ever, then she heard the hissing and looked down. "Awww phuck..."

The pressure plate wasn't linked to the door at all. Instead, it was attached to probably five hundred tones of TNT within the walls of the castle.

"Oh well." She said- at least they had cleared a path up to this point. They just had to speed run back here.

It was daytime already, but... When she respawned, everything was as dark as Pinkie Pie's soul.

"I... What..." She looked around herself at the walls of obsidian.

"D:" Celestia had a similar reaction. Though what ensued from her was less violent.

Cadence laughed somewhat maniacally as she sprinted away, two more beds added to her inventory.

"CADENCE YOU- CADENCE- I-" Luna was at a loss for words, and Celestia quietly ate popcorn in a corner as she fumed. "Oh you are so dead."

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? You can't- AH! AAH! LULU- PLEASE! STAHP!"

The doors to Cadence's room had been blasted off its hinges, and Luna was brutally clubbing the princess of love over the head with a cushion.

"LUNA-! CELLY! HALP ME!"

"N͎̳̖̯̰͠Ò̜̦̳̟̻̝Ṕ̺̤O҉͕͈̠͓̟̰N̛̪̜͍Y̘̪̜̝̳ ̪CA̫͇̮͖̩̕Ṋ̗̯͈͔̬ ̵S͎̲̳͉̜̺A̩̮̺̪͙͕V͓̤̖͠ͅE͖͉̖͇̠ ̹͝Y̘̝̺͔̯̜͚O͎̹͖͔U̞̫̦̕ NOW!̷͖̣"̞̭̦̳͈̘̥ L̨un̷a r͜oar͢e̵d͝,͘ co͟ntinuing͢ th̷è ͝rel͡en̕t̡le͝s̨s ̛a̧t̸t̡ac̢k.͜

"CELLY-----"

"҉͏͍͚̝͍̲̳̝̳̪͕̲̭̺͚͈̦̳͖̀͘͟Ń̷̴̳̝͔̼̦͟͞o̹͈̤̞̙̙̣͉̣̩̖̼͘͜ͅP̸̧͏̴̨̭̠̜̯̲̪̼͓̩ͅO̴̵͉̫̳̝͚̺͓͉̥͈̰͙n̛̳̜̹̰̹͓̝̬̗̹̹͓̯͉̹̖̤͝Ý̷͕̩̮̟̼̻̪͘͝ͅ!̢̛͇͕̰̘͇̺̼̱͝͝!!!͏̷҉̵̜̺͎̟͇̦̯͉͍͝ͅ"̢͖̖̲̲̰̥̘͚̼͕͠͠ͅ ̙͖̗́ ͠͏̢̻̱̭͎̕͜ ̛̟͕͔̺͍̮̙̗͍̪̗̹̦͇͎̙͓͘͝͠ͅ ̡̢̛̗͓͔̝̫̝̗̞̺̙̞̫̭̥̥͔͞ ͚͇̘̩̹̣̻͈̼́ ̸̛̞̳̱̜͚̘̳̥̤̙͇̬̭̝̦̦̬̩͍̕͠ ̵̨͇̮̗͔̞̫̫͓͈̜͓̬̳̲ ̸̸̡̧̺͙̜͍̲̯͎̲̩̯̥̬́ͅ ̧͏͙̟̟͕̰̙̪̣̪͉̫̱͍̻̲ ̛͠҉͏͓͕͓̺̣̦͎̗ ̝̺̯͙̦͚̺͘͢ ̧̡͉͔̭̲͖̙̕ ̕͟͏̥̣͎̩̜͓̟ ̛̣̮̩̲̫͔̞̜͕͉̫̰̞̥͖̗̙͢͝ͅͅ ̴̧̠͙̟̞̮͈̳̪͟͡͝ ̡͏̴̵̷͓̞͔̞ ̨҉҉̪͓̪̝̟ ̧͝͏̠̝̜̝̟̥̩ ̕͏͕̝̙͙̙̲̙̲͖̭͔͢͠ ̷̢̥̟̘̲̪͎̝̗̯̕ͅ ̶̸̡̯̦̩̩̠̺̮͉͓͈̪̤̪̺͕͉͍͢ͅ ̵͍̪̠̼̟̺͍̻̝̼͉̫͚͚͚̫̀͜͠͞ ̛͠͏̟̼͉̤̮̠͔̞̘ ̸̢̗̮̠̦̼͎͚̦̪ ͢҉̴̟̱̬͎̤̟͎̗̹͎̤̫͇̟̗̳̯̩͇́̀ ̷̀͏̬̺͚̣́͟ ̡͠҉̙̳̲ͅ ̕͏̛͔̟̳̗͚͓͖ ͏̶̢͓̘̜͕͕͡ ̶̛҉͙̳̲̰̟͉̗͚̯̼̩̫̺̫̦͡ ̶̷̨̢̞̰͎̼̯͇͙̬͉̼̹̟̮̼͕̻ͅ ̷͚͉̫̝͕̠̩̕͞͞ ̷͟͏̗̰͈͙̺ ̶͉̯͉̼̞̲̝̥͈̮́̀ ̵̘͍̻̰̱̙̲̩̖̘̝͇̤ ̢̛͔͈͎̹̦̰̼̤̩͙̪̲͕̠̭͎̰͖͞͡ͅ ̵̴̨̨̼̬̟̗̗͙͜ͅ ̛̪͔̖͓͕͕̥̬͕͎̣̝͖̘ ̶̷̧͍͕̱̞̗̱̞̟̥͇͖̜̳́͜ ̶̙̭̭͚͕̟̹͟ ̢̤̻͈͉͍̖͖̀́͡͠ ̨͍̤̘̬̺̬̘̤̲͇͔̱̲͘ ͔͕̮̱͎͇͍͚͓̺͍̼͔̰͓͓͈́̀͞ ̤̣͚̺͕͇̣̻̗̖̳͍̲̻͕̫̜̟̱́͘͢͡ ̹̥̠̱̭͚͝ ̶̢̯͍̺̰̣̗͎̠̞̰͍̰͍ͅ ̛̭̳͖͇̯̮͎͉̝̙̠̝͓̹͍͔͈̫͘͢͜͠ ̡̥̮̥̲͇͟͢ ̵̩̤͓̺͉͉̬̬̻̪̘̩̜̕͟͜ ̶̧̛̹͚̭̺͖̖̮͢ ̵͓͖̖̮͇̮͈̺̝͇͕͍̝̜͠͠ ̵̸̨͓͖̖̳̟͚̝͓̥̤̳͓̲͇̘͖̻̫͜͡ ̶҉͔̼̲̲̘̟̀͟ ͈͈̘̞͈̜͕͖̲͈̭̠͇͞ ̨҉҉̪͓̪̝̟ ̧͝͏̠̝̜̝̟̥̩ ̕͏͕̝̙͙̙̲̙̲͖̭͔͢͠ ̷̢̥̟̘̲̪͎̝̗̯̕ͅ ̶̸̡̯̦̩̩̠̺̮͉͓͈̪̤̪̺͕͉͍͢ͅ ̵͍̪̠̼̟̺͍̻̝̼͉̫͚͚͚̫̀͜͠͞ ̛͠͏̟̼͉̤̮̠͔̞̘ ̸̢̗̮̠̦̼͎͚̦̪ ͢҉̴̟̱̬͎̤̟͎̗̹͎̤̫͇̟̗̳̯̩͇́̀ ̷̀͏̬̺͚̣́͟ ̡͠҉̙̳̲ͅ ̕͏̛͔̟̳̗͚͓͖ ͏̶̢͓̘̜͕͕͡

Author's Note

why anyone ever reads this thing is beyond me but thanks for all the support