Chapters Time paradoxes and pink party ponies
Snips in Time
Monday morning
Snips had the weirdest feeling of Deja Vu, it was that feeling you get when you revisit the places of your childhood, only this was him literally visiting his childhood.
He wasn't worried, he had a plan and a direction, sure he could end up erasing himself from time, or erasing everything from time, or erasing time itself, but hey! At least It was summer right? Canterlot winters were just awful! Yet he had no idea that the same path he walked to school everyday as a colt would fill him with such dread one day.
So far going through his childhood memories he couldn't remember meeting his older self from the future. That meant he wouldn't get caught right? Maybe this whole thing would be a breeze and he would just trot in town like he owned the place, gather the items and remain unnoticed.
But something in his memories told him otherwise.
That nopony could walk into this town and remain unnoticed.
He just couldn't put his hoof to it, so he made his way towards the town in fear that at anytime somepony would jump him and demand to know who he is. Was it The Royal Guard or some kind of a city watch? He could not remember.
Then, as he approached the bridge that lead to town, he saw a familiar looking gingerbread house:
Sugarcube corner.
You cannot imagine the amount of fear Snips was filled at that realization, he scrambled off the bridge in panic and jumped into the nearest bush hoping that it wasn't too late. Yet the voice he heard while he was hiding there was like the cold embrace of hopelessness wrapping around his heart.
"Hi!" said the high pitched voice.
Of course it was Pinkie Pie, who had this habit of welcoming new ponies into town. Pinkie was relentless when it came to knowing new ponies, she knew everypony in town (including colt Snips) and Snips feared that, being such a pony expert, she would connect the dots immediately.
Snips liked Pinkie Pie as a kid, she was crazy and always did something hilarious and unexpected. She was, no doubt, still funny to be around with, but this only meant that it would be easy for Snips to get careless in her company and he knew that Pinkie wouldn't leave his company until she got to know him. To her, future Snips was a new pony yet to future Snips she was the bringer of doom.
Snips had to do the impossible.
He had to get rid of Pinkie Pie!
"Hi Pin..."Snips began. "Oh wait, I'm not supposed to know her name yet." Snips thought. "Uh..I mean hi you, who I've never met before." said the mysterious bush.
Pinkie Pie was having a great day, first she had woken up and had some cup cakes, then she went for a walk outside since the weather was so nice and now she had met this mysterious bush! Not to mention potential new friend! In her book everything was going perfectly, little did she know that the pony in the bush could end up destroying space and time itself.
"Pin? I'm Pinkie Pie not a pin silly! I've never seen you before so that must mean you're new! Whats your name Mr.Bush pony?"
Snips was really afraid! This meeting he was having with Pinkie Pie was never meant to happen. What if she was supposed to be saving somepony important right now? Or doing something that would affect the future? What if the greatest cup cake recipe of all time was erased from time because Pinkie was too busy talking with Snips instead of sitting at home coming up with the recipe like she was supposed to be?
Snips came up with a plan: he knew that Pinkie Pie wanted to welcome new ponies, so if he somehow convinced Pinkie Pie that he wasn't a new pony she would leave him alone right?
"Well, I think you know who I am Pinkie, I mean we...uh...just met yesterday! You haven't forgotten your new pal Mr.Shrubbery have you?"
Pinkie Pie was confused. How could she have forgotten a pony she had met before! Especially a pony that was hiding in a bush! Then she remembered helping Vinyl Scratch with a party yesterday and that party had lasted through the whole day! (and night too) She couldn't have met Mr.Shrubbery yet! The new pony was obviously playing tricks on her so Pinkie decided to play some ticks on the new pony as well.
"Oh yeah? Well Mr.Shrubbery, if we've met already, why don't you tell me who I am or what I do? If you're such a super fantastic friend surely you'd know!" she said.
At this point Snips was overwhelmed by the good memories of his childhood with Pinkie Pie's crazy antics, frankly he had missed the pink party pony and had hoped to meet her again one day so, without thinking, he answered the question rightfully.
"How could I forget who you are! You're Pinkie Pie, a baker in Sugarcube corner and the best baker in Ponyville! You're always hanging out with five of your friends and you're the funniest pony who ever lived." said the mysterious bush.
Pinkie was taken back by this. Mr.Shrubbery was right! He knew all these things about her, but how? Even his voice sounded distantly familiar. There was only one explanation: He had met her before, but when and where she could not remember at all! Had she forgotten meeting other ponies as well? Would she forget all of her friends!? Needless to say It was a terrible feeling and Pinkie couldn't help but feel sad and afraid.
"...Oh...I'm sorry Mr.Shrubbery but I cant remember you at all!" she said.
Snips could see through the branches how sad Pinkie Pie had suddenly become and It broke his heart to see his old childhood friend in such a state, especially when he was the one who caused it.
"Well...see you around..." Pinkie said and turned to leave.
Pinkie was looking miserable, she had downcast eyes and her mane had deflated. Snips was worried once again. Would letting her walk off all sad and lonely cause even more damage to the future then him stepping out and revealing himself to be a new pony? In the end it came to one Decision: past or not, Pinkie Pie was his friend and no way he'd let her walk off sad like that!
"Surprise!" he said and stepped out of the bush grinning smugly like he had just pulled the greatest prank of all time.
He expected Pinkie to immediately go "Hey! you're future Snips!" yet she never did. All she did was stare in confusion like she had met this pony before only she could not remember where. This made her senseless fear of forgetting all of her friends even worse!
"Hi Mr.Shrubbery, I'm sorry I cant remember you at all! Its like I've met you but I...just cant remember!" She cried in frustration.
"Nah, That was just a prank, I've never seen you in my life." Lied Snips.
Pinkie was even more confused and thought "So this is what Twilight feels like when we hang out."
"Sure, then how did you know all those things about me?" she asked still depressed.
Oh great, less then ten minutes in town and Snips was already beginning to seem like a stalking creep but then an idea struck him! There was one pony in town who could probably help him out in this situation.
"Well...you're a famous pony and stuff, so I've heard a lot about you from...Time Turner! You know him right?!" he said and hoped that Pinkie wouldn't fetch the time pony to confirm his claim.
Luckily for him, Pinkie chose to believe future Snips since, after all, being depressed wasn't much fun and getting answers from this pony would only leave her extremely confused. "It was a prank!" She thought, and besides, now she had a welcome party to plan!
"Okey dokey lokey!" She said as happy as before. "Lets try this again! Hi I'm Pinkie Pie, whats your name?"
This was Snips' chance! He had always wanted to have a cool name like "Spitfire" or "Soarin'"!
"Me? My name is Time Voyager!" he said triumphantly being very proud of his new, not so conspicuous, name.
"Nice to meet you Timey!" said Pinkie. "Welcome to Ponyville! Wanna be my friend? Huh? Huh?" She asked while breaking Snips' personal space with every "Huh?".
"Sure Pinkie, I'll be your friend." Said Snips annoyed that his fantastic name had been ruined "Timey? Really?" he thought.
Pinkie was naturally happier than ever and wrapped his hooves around "Timey". Snips didn't mind at all. Actually it was quite nice. He didn't remember Pinkie being so cute when he was a colt! Then he realized what he was thinking and blushed.
"Yay! This is so great! We're gonna have a party and everything, and I'll invite everypony and it'll be so much fun!" She said excited. Then she realized she was hugging a pony who she had just met moments ago and let go of Timey blushing "Heh, sorry, it just feels like I've known you for a long time, Weird huh?"
Snips however wasn't excited, he had just realized that a party where everypony would get to know him was probably the worst thing that could happen to him in this town. "NO!...I mean no, we wouldn't want that party just yet right? Uhh how about we have that party next month? Or maybe year? Or how about never?" He said while sweating bullets.
"Don't be shy Timey! I'm sure all the ponies will just love you!"
"Oh they'll love me all right!" thought Snips "So much so that they'll figure out who I am and the entire space time continuum will collapse! It'll be one heck of a party!"
"Pinkie. Wasn't there something you were supposed to do today? Something that you were going to do before we met?" Snips asked attempting to find out if the future had already been altered beyond repair.
"Nope! I don't make any plans! Life is more fun when you don't know whats going to happen right? Its like there's a surprise behind every corner! Like you Timey, I didn't expect to meet you at all!" said Pinkie while grinning wildly.
"Believe me, you were never meant to." thought Snips.
Snips was in trouble, he wasn't any closer in getting rid of Pinkie and, for some odd reason he couldn't explain, he didn't even want to get rid of her anymore! Just standing next to her and looking at that happy smile made his worried heart feel light again and all his problems just seemed to melt away. It was like he wasn't in the past anymore, where one mistake by him could destroy all of existence, but instead he had just met his old childhood friend who he had missed very dearly after such a long time.
And why was she so cute? She wasn't this cute back then!
"So Timey? Can we have your welcome party now, or right now!?" Pinkie said.
Snips blushed again when Pinkie came closer with every word and looked him right in the eyes. That pony had absolutely no regard for personal space it seemed. Snips was almost lost in those bright blue eyes but then he shook his head "This is ridiculous!" thought Snips "Its just Pinkie Pie! Why am I blushing like an idiot?"
As you can see the situation for Snips was quite hopeless, Pinkie would not give up on the welcome party, no matter how much he pleaded so he decided to do the next best thing and buy some time.
"You know what? A party sounds fantastic! How about you go prepare for it and I'll meet some other ponies?" he said.
"Yes siree bob Timey! This is going to be the best party for you! There'll be everything you like and..but how do I know what you'll like? Oh! I know! Wanna come help me prepare?" Pinkie asked and smiled in that cute way that made Snips' heart flutter.
It took all of his will power, but he managed to answer: "...No...but I'll see you later Pinkie..." tough he sounded quite sad.
"Aww don't be sad Timey! Go meet some other ponies! I'll get that party ready before you can say loco in a coco!" Pinkie answered. Then she turned around and zipped towards Sugarcube corner.
Snips stood there looking at the trail of dust she left behind and sighed. Then he slapped his head with a hoof "No! Focus Snips! What are you an idiot?" he said to himself. "Where was I again...right, the book, gotta get to the library and get that book from that uncool nerdy mare."
Snips arrived at the library which he remembered was the giant tree in the middle of the town. Inside he could hear a familiar voice that he instantly recognized. It was Twilight Sparkle! The same Twilight Sparkle who was that stuck up arch mage of Canterlot university, always giving Snips' brilliant exam answers the lowest scores! There she was inside that library and Snips had no choice but to walk in. He knocked on the door reluctantly and waited.
And then the door flung open.
Snips couldn't believe it! This must have been the wrong place or a different pony all together! Before him stood an purple goddess! A perfectly smooth lavender coat and a divine amazing flowing mane! She must have been the daughter of the ancient alicorn of love herself! He shielded his eyes from this beauty for he feared that if he stared too long he would die from sheer awe!
"You're...Twilight Sparkle...?" he gasped.
"Yes?" said the lavender goddess.
"But...you're so ho...you're so ho...you're so...thin!"
To be continued in:
From the space time continuum with love
From The space time continuum with love
Snips in Time.
Monday afternoon
Snips stood there staring in awe at the smoking hot babe standing before him.
"Hi!" said the goddess "I haven't seen you before."
Oh my gosh! She was talking to him, the pretty girl was talking to him! Quick, say something cool.
"I'm a Timey" No! Stupid!
"Hello Timey, I'm Twilight Sparkle! Are you looking for a book today?" she said.
Of course! She was a genius who immediately knew what he was looking for! And he didn't even have to tell her anything! Could such perfection even exist? Could he possibly hide his true identity from this master mind? Would he even care at this point?
"...Yes" Snips answered dreamily.
"You're in the right place then!" Twilight giggled "Come on in, I'll see what I can do."
Snips almost had an heart attack! The pretty girl had asked him to come inside her house?
"Can I...come inside?" He asked in disbelief.
"Well, It is a public library after all." answered Twilight.
This was it! Snips' life was now complete, he would spend the rest of his days here with this lavender beauty and the love between them would last until all of the world was gone and the age of the mortals had ended! He trotted inside the library with a huge grin plastered on his face.
"Sorry for the mess, my so called number one assistant was on clean up duty today but he overslept...that lazy dragon." Twilight muttered. "So what are you looking for Timey?"
"I'm not looking for anything anymore..." said Snips.
"What? But I thought you just said...? Oh well, if you'll need to find anything just ask me. I'll be by the reading table doing some research." Twilight said and trotted off back to her books.
Snips followed after her like an idiot and just stood next to her while Twilight read. Soon she felt awkward and turned towards Snips.
"Yes?" She asked annoyed.
Snips snapped out of his trance and shook his head. "Uh sorry, I was just...I was just interested in what you were researching!" he lied.
"Oh!" Answered Twilight and a smile returned to her face "I was studying self-levitation, you know how unicorns can levitate objects? I'm trying to find a way for unicorns to levitate themselves."
Snips knew this! He knew what to do! "Is that all?" He said. This was his chance to show off, so without a second thought he summoned a levitation spell and levitated himself off the ground. Twilight stood up in shock so fast that the books she was reading fell off the table.
"What? Where did you learn to do that!?" She said in awe. Snips quite enjoyed the attention the lavender mare was giving to him but then the question struck him and he realized what he had just done.
He had learned the self-levitation spell from a book.
A book written by Twilight Sparkle.
Ten years into the future.
And now he had taught the spell, that future Twilight would teach him, to the past Twilight Sparkle, before past Twilight Sparkle had even discovered the spell! Snips snapped back to reality and began to sweat bullets. Twilight noticed this and stared at him with narrowed eyes.
"I learned it...from a book." Snips said and he wasn't lying, only the book didn't even exist yet!
"Really? What was the book called?" Asked Twilight is suspicion.
Snips was really in it for now! His eyes were swatting around, unable to look straight into those lavender eyes. How could he ever lie to this beautiful mare?
"100 useful levitation spells for unicorns." he answered truthfully.
"Written by who?" asked Twilight.
The million bit question, the only one he couldn't answer truthfully or else the entirety of space and time would seize to exist! Luckily for Snips a purple dragon walked downstairs yawning.
"...Uhh what with all the racket?" he asked.
Snips recognized that it was Spike! But he was still so small it took him a while to connect the dots. Back in Canterlot university he couldn't even fit through a door yet here he was walking casually on steps inside a tree. Spike noticed Snips and then he saw how Twilight was staring at him.
"Hey Twilight, who's your new boyfriend?" Spike asked teasingly.
Twilight blushed and backed away from Snips.
All Snips could say was "Yes!!! Yes!!!"
Twilight gave him a glare "This is Timey, and no, he's not my "new boyfriend" I don't even have an old one!" Twilight said angrily.
"You telling me! You should really get out more." Spike said, enjoying how flustered Twilight had become.
"I don't see you walking around with a special somepony either!" Twilight said.
"Hey! I'm a dragon! And besides, I have a certain white mare just waiting for me out there." said Spike while he moved his eyebrows up and down.
"Keep dreaming, romeo!"
After being coldly reminded of his situation, Snips noticed that this was his chance! While the two friends argued he used a simple identification levitation spell (that he had also learned from future Twilight) and whispered the name of the book. Sure enough The Equestrian dictionary: 700 words of pony language explained by Ink Spots the unicorn floated over and he stuffed it into his scarf.
Twilight, however, had noticed Snips scurrying around her precious books. "What are you doing?" she asked angrily.
"Just checking out a book." Snips said and grinned sheepishly. Then he remembered that there was one thing he had to make sure of before he could even think of leaving "Aren't you gonna finish that research?"
"Why bother! Somepony has obviously discovered the self-levitation spell already! Ugh...I worked for weeks for nothing!" Twilight answered.
Not good!
If Twilight never discovers the self-levitation spell, Snips will never learn it, and if he doesn't learn it, Twilight will discover it yet if she does Snips will learn it too and...jeez time travelling was complicated! Snips realized however that he was staring down at a time paradox! Twilight had to continue the research and finish it no matter what!
"It wasn't for nothing! Self-levitation is a revolutionary spell that will change the way we look at unicorns like, forever!" He said.
"Yeah? But somepony beat me to it." said Twilight.
Snips found himself in a corner once again, how could he not go on for five minutes without risking the existence of time itself? He looked for a way out, anything that could get him out of this situation with clear colors, yet there was nothing else to it.
"Remember what I told you...about how I learned the spell?" He asked.
"Yes, yes, you said you learned it from a book." Twilight said in a bored tone.
Snips sighed and lowered his head "Well I uh..." his felt his heart wrenching.
"I lied."
Snips lied that he was lying! The amount of lies was enormous! Lies everywhere! How could he! When would all the lies stop!? Why, Twilight? Why!?
Twilight stared at him dumbfounded. "What?"
"I...I learned the spell by myself while I was studying..." Snips said and looked around the pile of books Twilight had been researching. " Levitation...aero...dynamics? Levitation aerodynamics." he said confidently.
"Really? That's what I was just studying!" Twilight said.
"Yeah, yes! So now you can continue your research and learn the spell that nopony else has learned before, right?" Snips asked hopefully.
Twilight looked at him in confusion "Well...you have learned it."
Oh yeah, there was that. "Uh...I don't count." said Snips while grinning sheepishly.
"Yes you do! You must be somepony even more smarter than me! Who taught you? What school did you go to?" Twilight asked. Now she was really excited to get to know this new pony. Snips secretly enjoyed the situation yet he knew that the fate of the world was hanging in the balance.
"Well, I was taught by you actually " he thought. The situation was hopeless so Snips decided to just "buck it!"
"Here, let me show you." Snips said and trotted over to the table. he picked up a quill and wrote down the self-levitation spell on the parchment. That would have to do "There you go! I've never written it down anywhere or in any book and I never will so I hope that if one day, for some reason, you decide to write a book you'll put that spell in it and credit it to yourself."
"That was...oddly specific." Twilight said.
Then Snips noticed that Twilight was checking out his flanks! Maybe this whole thing wouldn't turn out to be so bad after all.
"You don't have a cutie mark."
Or maybe it would.
"Nope, been a blank flank my whole life, no cutie marks of any kind. Now if you'll excuse me I have some business to attend to." Snips said and made for the door. Twilight however wouldn't let him leave that easy so she stood in his way.
"You're not going anywhere!" she said.
Oh my gosh! Had Snips' seemingly unlimited knowledge of levitation finally overwhelmed her? Was she going to jump on him and they would finally kiss in passionate love!? Snips did not know for sure, but he did know one thing for certain: his body was ready.
"You just walk in here, claiming to be somepony named Timey who I've never met before, perform a complicated undiscovered spell right in front of me, get nervous when I ask you where you learned it from, lie to me, steal one of my books and you're a grown stallion who doesn't even have a cutie mark! And now you're expecting me to just let you walk off just like that?" said Twilight angrily. Ok, his body was not ready after all.
"Yes?" said Snips Sheepishly.
"No!" answered Twilight "You tell me right now who you really are and where you're from!"
Suddenly Spike chimed in "Oh come on Twilight!" he said "You just want him to stay because he's the only hot stallion you've ever met who's into magic research as much as you are."
"Yes! You're my man Spike!" said Snips.
The library fell silent at this statement. Even Spike was surprised.
"How'd you know my name?" Spike asked.
Snips was sweating like crazy again "Uh...Twilight told me?"
"No, I didn't" said Twilight.
Snips eyes swatted left and right again. Then he remember a line that would get anyone out of any situation imaginable.
"Cheese it!" he shouted to nopony in particular.
Snips teleported out of the library in a flash (a spell he had also learned from future Twilight) much to the surprise of Twilight Sparkle, since she was supposed to be the only unicorn, at the time, capable of teleportation.
"Come back here you book thief!" Twilight screamed yet it was too late, Snips was gone.
"Did you see that!? He teleported! I thought only you could teleport Twilight!" Spike said.
"So did I..." said Twilight " but I will find that weird stallion yet, if its the last thing I do!"
"Why? So you can kiss him?" said Spike.
"Spike!"
Snips had barely escaped from the situation but Twilight would no doubt want to get to know him even more now (a thought that he secretly enjoyed, a lot) so for the sake of space and time, he had to keep his distance from the only pony he had ever loved! Oh love is such a cruel mistress!
He teleported the rest of the way to the time machine for he dared not trot over there in case another pony would show up and risk the existence of the universe again.
Constant teleporting was demanding however, so an exhausted Snips stumbled over to the time lift and pressed the button
*DING* chimed the lift.
He trotted inside and shut the doors. "That was too close, way too close..." he said.
"Having a bad day?" asked the voice. It was Sparkle the computer who Snips had forgotten was the rogue AI inside the time machine.
"Oh yeah...you're here too." Snips said.
"Did you miss me?" Asked the computer teasingly.
"Not really..." sighed Snips. "Can you check something for me?"
"Like I have previously stated, I'll do anything for you master." the computer answered.
"Who's credited for the self-levitation spell in 100 useful levitation spells for unicorns by Twilight Sparkle?" he asked.
"Analyzing...A unicorn stallion that goes by the name of "Timey", no further information available." answered the computer.
"Fantastic...just fantastic..." Snips sighed even louder.
"Say Sparkle, you have a familiar name, who created you anyway?"
"Twilight Sparkle of The Sparkle Technologies" the computer answered.
"Huh...I think I just met your creator..." said Snips.
"Really? What was she like?" the computer said.
"A super hot babe!" Snips said without thinking, "I mean...a...totally boring nerd."
"Was she now? You know my artificial intelligence is largely based on the personality of Twilight Sparkle, just something to think about. Heck, Maybe we're the same in more ways then one, why don't you find out by, say, pressing the heart shaped button?" said the computer in the voice of Twilight Sparkle, Snips noticed.
"Still not pressing it" Snips said "Look, I got the book, what now?"
"Now you'll have to toss it into the fuel compartment." said the computer.
Snips opened the fuel compartment and tossed the book inside. With a puff of rainbow smoke the book was gone and the fuel gauge had filled up a little.
"Uhh I like it when you stuff things into me!" The computer said in Twilight Sparkle's voice.
"Aww jeez, really? Really!? You're going there!?" said Snips.
To be continued in:
Past noponies and future celeberties.
Past noponies and future celebrities.
Snips in Time
Tuesday morning
Snips woke up with a yawn and immediately winced in pain. The cold floor of the time machine wasn't the most comfortable sleeping spot but there was nothing else to it. Then he heard his stomach complain in hunger, he hadn't thought about eating at all! Then again, he had been quite busy with the risks of time travel to start thinking about daisy sandwiches.
"Sparkle 2000, what is our food situation?" he asked formally like a captain from Star Trot.
"Morning master! How was your sleep?" said the computer.
"Oh, just divine! I especially liked the cold metal feel of the floor and the wires running around here are just like cushions of comfort!" Snips said while he kicked around the wires like they had just poked him for seven hours and asked "does this annoy you?"
"Glad to hear it...oh my dear Celestia! I just had an idea, I'll just have to say this!" the computer said.
"I was watching you sleep." the computer whispered in Twilight Sparkle's voice.
"Hey! Stop that! Stop it!" Snips said annoyed but the computer simply laughed.
"About the food situation tough, we have some tea, in fact, we have a lot of tea." the computer said.
"That's it?" said Snips while he dispensed some good old fashion tea.
"Time Turner didn't seem to think that anything else was needed." the computer answered.
"Of course he didn't..." muttered Snips while he sipped the tea like a well behaved gentlecolt. "Give it to me straight Sparkle, what the next item on the list?"
"Authentic red silk from Tartarus." the computer said.
Snips would have spitted out his tea had he not expected something like this. "Red silk from Tartarus as fuel? How the buck does that even work?" he asked.
"Don't ask me, I did not build myself." said the computer.
"Well!" Snips said and stood up confidently. "All I gotta do is get some Tartarusian silk and grab some lunch, I would have said something along the lines of "easy right?" but who am I kidding?" he opened the door with a *DING* "See you later Sparkle...if you're still here when I return...or if any of us are still here when I return... or if I return at all...or"
"Get on with it!" the computer said.
"Right!" Said Snips and stormed outside before he could change his mind.
"Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day! Oh what a beautiful feeling! Everything's going my way!" sung Snips while he gaily skipped over to town. Don't blame him! What would you have done if you were a magical pony in a fairy tale land of dreams? Exactly the same that's what.
The day was simply perfect, the birds chirping in their usual way, the sun shining in its usual way, the trees rustling in the wind in their usual way, a filly crashing into Snips's side with a scooter in the usual way, Snips flying in the air and crashing into a pile of trash in the usual way. You know, all the usual things happened.
"Ugh sorry, there was something wrong with the wheel I guess..." the filly said. Snips crawled his way out from the trash pile groaning in pain. Then he spotted the orange filly and recognized her instantly! It was Scootaloo! The captain of The Wonderbolts!
"Oh my gosh! You're Scootaloo!" Snips said excited.
Scootaloo was naturally confused "Uh...yeah, that's me."
Then he noticed a white filly who had trotted over to the crash site. "Oh no...who did you crash into this time?" she said.
No way! It was Sweetie Belle! The world famous pop star from Ponyville!
"Oh my gosh!!! You're Sweetie Belle!" said Snips.
Sweetie Belle was also confused and she gave Scootaloo a glance that said "explain please". "I think he hit his head or something." Scootaloo whispered.
As you can see, Snips was quite excited to meet these future celebrities, with no regard to the fact that the fillies wouldn't be celebrities for at least another six years. He proceeded by shaking both of the fillies hooves like he had just met the princess herself. Needless to say the fillies had no idea what was going on.
"I can't believe it! Its really you! Can I have your autographs?" asked Snips.
"Autographs? Whats an autograph?" Scootaloo asked while she tilted her head to the side.
"Autograph is a document transcribed entirely in the handwriting of its author! Its a paper where a famous pony has written his or her name!" Sweetie Belle answered, smiling proudly.
"Way to go dictionary." Scootaloo said while she rolled her eyes.
"Don't laugh! Her absurd knowledge of dictionaries will help her write the lyrics to some of her best songs!" Snips said while he mindlessly defended his future idol.
"What?" Sweetie Belle squaked "I don't have any songs! I don't even like singing in front of an audience!"
"Why would you want our autographs anyway?" Scootaloo asked in suspicion.
"Why wouldn't I? You, Sweetie Belle, you're a famous pop star!" Snips said smiling.
"Huh?" said Sweetie Belle.
"And you Scootaloo, you're the captain of The Wonderbolts!" said Snips.
"Uh...I'm flattered I guess, but I can't even fly yet..." Scootaloo said embarrassed.
"But all of that is going to change when you're inspired by the death of..." Snips stopped his blabbering mouth just in time.
"Wait a minute..." Snips said and his brains did a back flip "Right! You haven't done any of that yet!"
Then he noticed that in front of him stood two clueless fillies who had no idea what he was talking about. Thank Celestia! If these fillies were as smart as Twilight Sparkle he would have been in some major trouble! He just stood there with a sheepish smile on his face and the silence lasted until it was broken by a high pitched voice.
"Snips, right?" said the white filly.
Sweet Celestia! They had figured him out faster then anypony he had met so far! Oh well, at least this terrible adventure was finally over! Snips hoped that the collapse of the universe wouldn't hurt too much when the white filly continued.
"You're related to Snips right? You look a little bit like him."
A wave of relief washed over Snips and he collapsed on the ground, partly from stress and partly from hunger. "Well, you could say that." he said.
"You ok mister?" Scootaloo asked worried.
"Hey! Lets help him out! Maybe we could try getting our cutie marks by being doctors!" Sweetie Belle suggested.
"Nah, it wouldn't be fair when Apple Bloom is stuck working at the farm and besides I think we tried that one already." Scootaloo answered. Then she noticed something unusual "What the hay? He doesn't have a cutie mark!"
Now Sweetie Belle noticed it too "Huh?! I've never met a pony this old without a cutie mark! Oh no...what if we'll still be blank flanks when we get as old as him too?" she said worried.
Both fillies decided that there was absolutely no time to waste.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DOCTORS! YAY!" they shouted in unison, all tough not as loudly, since the voice of a certain farm filly was missing. "We are doctors Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle" They said with a voice of authority "Tell me where does it hurt Mister....?"
Of course it had to be The Cutie Mark Crusaders: those three crazy fillies from Snips' childhood.
"Timey" Snips said reluctantly. "Look I'm just really hungry so...what if I just get to the nearest food joint and..."
"Nonsense!" said the crusader duo "A doctor never leaves her patient unattended! Doctor Scootaloo, let us escort this pony to the nearest source of food." Sweetie Belle said.
"Uh...what?" Scootaloo said.
"Help me get Timey to Daisy's sandwiches." said Sweetie Belle.
"Oh!" Scootaloo said smiling.
"No please! There is absolutely no need to...!" Snips said but it was too late, his blank flank had given the crusaders such a scare that they would not give up on any chance of getting their cutie marks today. Off he went into the crusaders carriage and Scootaloo sped towards the sandwich joint.
Snips was seated in the sandwich joint where he sat awkwardly. The scene was absolutely ridiculous, he was sitting in a table with two fillies, who wore sthetoscopes around their necks and sported the most serious expressions, like they were performing surgery at the moment. They stared at him with narrowed eyes and Sweetie Belle looked back and forth between him and and a notepad she was writing on.
"Do you have a cold?" asked Scootaloo.
"No, why would you think that?" Snips said.
"Because you're wearing a red scarf in summer." She said and pointed out the scarf around his neck.
Oh yeah, he was still wearing that.
"Do you have a next of kin?" asked Sweetie Belle in her best doctor voice.
"What? Why would I need that?" Snips asked worried.
"In case of emergency." said Scootaloo.
"We're just eating sandwiches." Snips said.
"Don't underestimate the danger of sandwiches! Dinky's mom ate a sandwich once and had a terrible tummy ache!" Sweetie Belle said.
"And Later it turned out... the sandwich was actually a sponge!" Scootaloo said dramatically like it was a mistake anypony would do.
"Well I hope this place serves actual sandwiches." Snips said while he chomped down on the bread. Then he had a funny thought, he was eating sandwiches, that to him, were actually over ten years old, "Expired much ?" he thought and chuckled to himself.
The sandwiches were delicious! Suddenly Snips felt revitalized and full of energy. This just might turn out to be a good day! Heck, So far everything had went out without too much trouble (compared to yesterday when he had barely escaped) so he leaned back, forgot about the authentic silk from tartarus and decided to enjoy the summer, he had already enjoyed ten years ago, for a second time. (The day was about to take a turn for the worse however as you soon will see.)
Still, he couldn't believe he was sitting in a sandwich joint with The Sweetie Belle and The Scootaloo!
"So, Scootaloo, ever thought of being the captain of the wonderbolts?" he asked casually.
"Well...yeah it would be great I guess." she said. "but I think some other pony, much awesomer than me, has that goal in her sights already!" she said excitedly.
"Oh yeah? Whos that?" Snips asked.
"Rainbow Dash of course!"
Snips spat out his food and coughed violently.
"Rainbow Dash!?" He asked,
"Yeah, Rainbow Dash! Whats wrong with Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo asked.
"Nothing!" Snips said and bit deeper into the sandwich hoping that he would never have to meet the rainbow maned pegasus.
Snips didn't have much luck tough. Right at that moment, said cyan pegasus, with the said rainbow mane, swooped over to the table. It was Rainbow Dash in the flesh.
"Couldn't help but overhear someponies talking about good old awesome me! And who do I see sitting here but my number one fan Shootanloot! Mind if I have that?" Rainbow Dash said and simply stole Scootaloo's sandwich. She was about to speed off when she saw the new pony sitting there, staring at her with an expression of horror.
"You're Rainbow Dash!" said Snips.
"So you've heard of me? Whats wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost or something." Dash said.
Snips couldn't answer, he simply watched, so Scootaloo took advantage of the silence.
"What are you doing Rainbow Dash? Practicing some new awesome tricks?" Scootaloo chimed in.
"You bet Squirt!" Rainbow answered proudly. "Try outs for The Wonderbolts flight academy are tomorrow! Gotta polish those moves, not that I wouldn't get in without training tough! I'm just going for the extra points."
Snips spat out his food again. "The Wonderbolts flight academy!?" he said.
"Whats up with this guy? Does he have some kind of a "must repeat everything Rainbow Dash says" decease? Not that I can blame him tough, I mean, who wouldn't want to repeat my timeless sayings?" Rainbow Dash said.
The fillies snickered at this, Snips however didn't laugh at all, he knew better.
He knew that Rainbow Dash would die in that academy.
A trick would go terribly wrong during one of the training sessions.
And her death would inspire Scootaloo to take up her idols dream and finish what Rainbow had started.
And Scootaloo would become The Captain of The Wonderbolts.
And here Rainbow Dash was, alive and breathing, right in front of him, thinking she still had a future and a long life ahead of her, and here he was with a terrible knowledge that he couldn't share with anypony. He looked into those rose colored eyes, so full of life, and his heart wrenched in pain and all the happiness and hope he had felt simply disappeared in an instant.
"Whats wrong Timey?" Sweetie Belle asked worried.
Snips hadn't noticed but he was almost crying, tears were forming in the corners of his eyes yet he realized how weird it must have seemed so he attempted at wiping his eyes with a hoof.
"Its nothing, I just...have to think." he said.
"Its all right, you can tell us! Maybe we can figure something out." Sweetie Belle answered.
How he wished he could just tell them everything... yet he couldn't.
"Its fine, really." he answered.
Time could be altered right? He could save Rainbow Dash right? Or would he just have to sit there and remain silent knowing that this pony was going towards her death?
"Sheesh...what a loser...crying in the middle of the day like that, all of sudden, for no reason...well, catch you later Shootanloot!" Rainbow said and stormed off with Scootaloo's sandwich.
"There she goes. " thought Snips with sorrow.
"Isn't Rainbow Dash just awesome? Did I tell you about the time she said my dance moves were cool?" Scootaloo said looking after the Cyan dot in the horizon.
"Like a million times." Sweetie Belle said.
"She said that huh?" Snips said.
"Yeah! This one time when I was practicing dancing for the school talent show shew flew by and said "You have some real talent kid! I bet you'd make it to The Royal Canterlot theater school for gifted pegasi in a sinch!" " Scootaloo answered.
"Would you like that?" Snips asked.
"Like what?" Scootaloo said confused.
"Like to be a dancer?" said Snips.
Scootaloo was silent for a moment, but then she answered "Well...yeah it would be cool..." she said "its kind of...my dream you know." she whispered.
Snips could feel the tears forming again in the corners of his eyes.
"Ugh, would you stop that? Just spit out whats bugging you already!" Scootaloo said.
That's it! He couldn't take it anymore! The heck with time and space! He would save Rainbow Dash and she could fulfill her dream of being The Captain of The Wonderbolts and Scootaloo could attend The Royal Canterlot theater school for gifted pegasi and fulfill her dream of becoming a dancer! It was the perfect plan! Nothing could go wrong and everypony would be happier for it! It was up to him and him alone to save the future!
Snips stood up confidently and all the traces of his sadness were gone. "I can do it!" He said and pumped his hoof.
"Do what!?" Scootaloo asked, surprised by the way that Snips' mood had taken a full one eighty.
"Save Rainbow Dash!" Snips answered and stormed off.
Both fillies looked after him in confusion until Scootaloo rolled her eyes.
"Pfft!" said Scootaloo while she smiled smugly "See Sweetie Belle? Rainbow Dash is so awesome that It took less then five minutes for this guy to go heads over hooves for her."
"Yeah..." said Sweetie Belle. "But he still left without paying..."
Just then the waiter came over for his payment. Both fillies just shrugged in defeat.
"Sigh...just point us to the dishes."
To be continued in:
Can you rewrite time with a broken pen?
Can you rewrite time with a broken pen?
Snips in Time
Tuesday afternoon Celestia's and Luna's reign Year 0
So, If you thought that anypony could just walk up to Rainbow Dash and have a little chat with her about clouds or something you'd be wrong. She was fast, I mean really fast, so fast in fact that she didn't even hear Snips screaming after her when she zipped by.
"Rainbow hey! Rain...Ra...oh for Luna's sake! Come on! Stop!" Snips shouted.
Rainbow paid no heed to these calls, after all, she had plenty of training to do in order to enter the academy of her dreams. By afternoon, no Rainbows of any kind had been saved but Snips did gallop all over the place, all day, it made him quite tired, but then again, he was used to outrageous amounts of running, since he spent so much time with The Doc.
He had attempted at shouting something like "Free tickets to a Wonderbolts show right here." but that had gained him some unwanted attention from the numerous Wonderbolts fans in Ponyville, he had to give them a sheepish smile and inform them that there was, in fact, no tickets of any kind in his possession.
After a few more hours of running and cursing Snips stomped his hoof in anger. "Arrrrrgggghh!"
"Darling, please!" said a voice behind him. "Stop this needless running and shouting immediately!"
Snips whipped around and saw a familiar white unicorn with that familiar purple mane. It was Rarity, the CEO and top designer of the "Rarity fashion" brand. Of course at the moment she wasn't any of those things yet, and Snips was careful not to react like he had just met another famous pony again.
"You're Rarity!" he said excited. Way to go Snips.
"Why yes! Yes I am." Rarity answered beaming with pride. "You've heard of my designs then? I can tell you have an eye for fashion, That scarf is simply smashing! And to wear it during summer? How rebellious! I do believe we have not met Mr...?"
"Timey!" Answered a high pitched voice.
It was Sweetie Belle who Snips had met moments before.
"Hi, Sweetie Belle." said Snips.
"You've met this stallion before?" Rarity asked and raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, he's trying to catch Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo thinks he has a crush on her." Answered Sweetie and smiled slyly.
"Huh? No! I've just got something important to tell her!" Snips answered.
"Like that you like like her?" Sweetie said.
"Now, that quite enough Sweetie Belle! Its fine Mr.Timey, everypony in this town has been in love with Rainbow Dash at least once." she said and shrugged.
Snips simply gave up and decided to roll with it, it was much more simpler than trying to explain that he was from the future and that, if Rainbow gets accepted to the academy, it would lead her to her death.
"OK, I'll admit it, I have a huge crush on Rainbow Dash. I mean, I cant possibly continue on living if I don't get to talk to her right now." he said in a very unconvincing monotone voice.
Rarity however, being the romantic she was, giggled in delight like a school filly. "Well! That simply won't do!" She said dramatically "We must find a way for this young man to admit his affection for his true love!"
Sweetie Belle was pretty excited too, the thought "maybe I can get a cutie mark in matchmaking!" ran through her head.
Snips on the other hoof was regretting saying, what he said, immediately when the two white unicorns turned to him. Rarity cleared her throat and regained her composure. "Now, Mr.Timey how should we begin?"
"Uhh...maybe you could forget everything I just said?" he said sheepishly.
"Nonsense dear! Rarity wont simply stand by, while a young stallions heart yearns to quench the thirst for his true love!" Rarity said.
"Oh, oh! I know! Maybe Twilight can help us! She's super smart!" Sweetie Belle suggested.
"NO!" shouted Snips "I mean, no, she's busy studying right? We shouldn't bother her."
"I must say! You have a surprising amount of knowledge about Twilight yet, I do believe I've never seen you before." Rarity said.
"Well, you know, Twilight is the personal student of Princess Celestia, Rainbow Dash is a...fastest flier in town and you're a fashion designer I've heard about in the future...the past! I meant the past!!" Snips attempted at explaining himself.
"Don't worry, he's a weird pony sis, but he's nice." Sweetie Belle whispered.
"Yes, Pinkie and him would get along very well..." Rarity answered. "Well you're certainly a mysterious pony, and I might not have a full understanding of the situation...but there is one thing that I do understand, and it is love!" She posed dramatically once again. "Come, Mr,Timey, I have a plan!"
Snips followed after Rarity and her sister. They hid in a nearby bush and watched as Rainbow did his usual aerial stunts and spins above them.
"Isn't hiding from her kind of defeating the purpose?" Snips asked confused.
"Shh!" Rarity hissed. "Now, the best way to gain a mares attention is through jealousy, Just like Jack the stallion in "Galloping in the sunset of love", you must hit on another mare while Rainbow is watching."
"Uhh...you sure? I don't think those novels have anything to do with reality." Snips said nervously.
"There!" Sweetie Belle said and pointed at a gray pegasus sitting in the park enjoying some muffins.
"Perfect! She's a pegasus and even her mane style is similar to Rainbow's! The jealousy should drive Rainbow mad." said Rarity. "OK Timey, go get em."
"What? You can't just expect me to hit on some random pegasus in a park!" said Snips.
"Well, we can always ask Twilight to help us, if my methods aren't good enough for you." Rarity said and wiggled her eyebrows.
Snips huffed and trotted over to the gray pegasus with the yellow mane, he waved at her and gave his best smile.
"Hello miss." He said.
The gray pegasus was quite friendly however and was delighted to see a new pony in town.
"Hi! I'm Ditzy Doo, who are you? You want a muffin?" she asked and offered a muffin to Snips, he noticed that her golden eyes were pointing in different directions and that made her look quite goofy.
"Uh...I'm Timey." said Snips nervously.
The gray pegasus giggled at the name "Timey? As in Timey-wimey?" she asked.
"Huh, that's funny! That's what The Doc always says when he explains complicated time travelling theories." Snips pondered aloud "which I guess aren't just theories anymore" he thought.
"You know The Doctor?!" Ditzy asked excited
"You know The Doc?" he asked.
Snips was surprised, he had seen this gray pegasus delivering mail during his childhood, but he had not seen her with Time Turner.
"Sure do! We're always doing exciting timey-wimey stuff together, the other day we...oh, heh, I'm not supposed to tell you. Hey! You're trying to catch Rainbow Dash right?" She said out of the blue.
"Yes! But how the hay did you know that?" Snips said stunned.
"Don't worry about it! I think I can help you out with that whole catching Rainbow business, here." Ditzy pulled out a cloud from nowhere and handed it over to Snips.
"Huh? A cloud?" Snips asked confused.
"Yep! You know how to cast the walk on clouds spell right?" Ditzy said.
Snips nodded.
"Good! I want you to get on the cloud." Said the gray pegasus.
Snips did as ordered and got on the cloud after casting the spell. At this point Rarity trotted over confused. "What on earth are you doing? You were supposed to be kissing already!" she said annoyed.
"Snips here is going to ride this cloud to the sky and then jump off, forcing Rainbow to save him from death." Ditzy said proudly.
"Whaaaa...?" said Snips.
"Its the only thing she cant ignore, and besides, she loves being a hero." Ditzy said.
Snips swallowed nervously but at that moment he remembered those rose eyes looking at him, so full of life, so full of dreams, extinguished too early if he didn't find he's courage "I'll do it." he said.
"He's will was set...and only death would break it. " Rarity recited a quote in her mind from one of her books and her eyes sparkled dreamily "To go such lengths for love...Rainbow is such a lucky girl." she gasped dramatically once again.
"She won't have much luck if I don't do this..." Snips muttered.
Ditzy gave the cloud a nudge and off he went to the sky. At this point Snips realized he could have just asked Ditzy to fly over to Rainbow and ask her to come down, too bad he was already halfway there.
Everything had went pretty much as planned, the cloud floating upwards with a shaking unicorn was enough in itself to catch Rainbow's attention but then the damn fool had jumped off for no reason! Naturally she flew over and caught the crazy stallion from the air before it was too late.
"What the hay!?" Rainbow shouted angrily. "Are you trying to get killed? Whats wrong with you?!"
"It was her idea." Snips panted and looked around for Ditzy Doo, the gray pegasus however was nowhere to be seen.
Rainbow misunderstood this, "Rarity's idea?"
"No, it was my idea." Snips said between breaths.
"Your idea? Ugh! I don't have time for this!" Rainbow said annoyed.
"Rainbow, please!" Rarity said "This young stallion bravely risked his life only so he could have a few chosen words with you!" she said, once again quoting some romance novel in her collection.
"Just to talk to me? Look, I know I've had some crazy fans in the past but..."
"Listen!" Snips cut her off. "Whatever you do, you cant go to The Wonderbolts academy!" he said with a dead serious expression on his face.
"Huh? What do you mean dweeb? You think I don't have what it takes?!" Rainbow asked angrily.
"NO! You cant go! Your life depends on it!" said Snips.
"Damn right my life depends on it! My path towards being a Wonderbolt begins from there!" Rainbow said.
"OK, somehow I'll have to convince her to give up on her life's dream without telling the truth...think Snips, think!" he thought in desperation.
At this point Sweetie Belle had also trotted over. "Timey! Did you tell Rainbow you have a crush on her already?" Sweetie Belle asked.
The silence between the three ponies was so thick it could have been cut with various kitchen utensils.
Rainbow simply said: "What?"
"Darn, I forgot that." Snips said.
Rainbow's expression had changed from annoyed to boasting "Well! That explains everything! I mean what kind of a stallion wouldn't risk his life for me?" Rainbow said proudly "Gotta admit that was pretty brave, I'll give you my autograph or something."
"No!" Said Snips and took hold of Rainbow's shoulders. "You have to understand! You can't go to The Academy or you will...you will..."
"I will what? Become a Wonderbolt?" She asked.
"You'll...I...I can't tell you but its bad" he said.
Rainbow would have shook him off, had it not been for the expression on his face that drilled right into her mind. This stallion was dead serious, he was fearing for her life and he had meant every word.
"I uh...is there something you know about The Academy that I don't?" she asked.
Great! She was starting to believe him! Snips felt his hopes raising.
"There you are!!!"
Snips let go of Rainbow and turned around, he felt his hopes crumbling to a pile of rubbish.
It was Twilight Sparkle, a very angry looking Twilight Sparkle.
"Don't even attempt at teleporting away! I've got a tracking spell on you!" she shouted.
Snips took that advice to the heart, turned around and ran off in a speed that Rainbow could not believe. Twilight went after him, puffing with anger.
The two friends stood there looking at the dust Snips and Twilight had left behind them.
"Well! Looks like Twilight has her sights on our dream stallion already!" Rarity said.
"Seriously." Rainbow huffed and rolled her eyes "You read way too much love novels."
To be continued in:
Purple velvet in the fabric of time
Purple velvet in the fabric of time
Snips in Time
Tuesday afternoon
Snips was rolling around at the speed of sound, he had places to go and he had to save Rainbow. Too bad that he was being chased by an overly intelligent unicorn. Granted, Twilight wasn't usually the fastest of runners, but you'd be surprised how fast somepony could run when they were fueled with rage and curiosity.
Twilight was closing in, fast, too fast and Snips was pretty much screwed at this point, luckily for him a certain orange mare was rolling in with a cart of apples! Perfect! He grabbed the side of the cart and gained a questioning look from the mare pulling it. Then he flipped the cart over like flipping tables, causing an avalanche of apples to roll under Twilight hooves. Twilight was thrown off balance as planned and she collapsed on the ground with an "Oof!"
Snips felt his luck had finally turned.
"What in tarnation!? Whaddya think you're doing?" the orange mare said. Snips hoofed off once again, leaving a trail of dust behind him. "Why you...Come 'ere!!" she yelled after him.
"Ugh, get that book thief Applejack!" Twilight said.
"Forget yer books! Nopony tosses mah apples and gets away with it!"
"Are you kidding me?" thought Snips. The orange mare was as fast as a fricking wonderbolt! "I'm sorry! I'll pay for your apples tomorrow! Stop chasing me!!" he yelled to no avail.
"We'll have peace when you answer for the fruit slaughter of The Ponyville market, and for all the apples that lay dead there!" she yelled.
Snips galloped to a construction area and gained the glares of the workers there when he zipped past them, nearly causing lethal work place accidents every three seconds. Applejack was unfazed by this however and she hopped over the numerous workers and metal beams skillfully. Snips had only managed to slow himself down!
That would have been the end of Snips the time traveller, but at that moment he noticed a pile of wooden boards and came up with an idea, a brilliant plan where his hoofboard skills would save his flank! He grabbed the board with a levitation spell and hopped on it with his hind legs. The board didn't have any wheels tough.
Wheels? Where he was from, they didn't need wheels.
Thanks to future Twilight's excessive research of levitation, Snips was a master of the simplest spell a unicorn could learn. He levitated the board he was standing on and blasted off on his floating, makeshift hoofboard.
"Aww yeah!! I cant believe this is working!!" He yelled.
Applejack was so surprised she stopped on her tracks and simply stared in awe.
"What in the red silky morning slippers of Celestia!?" asked Twilight who had galloped over and joined Applejack in an annoyed yet surprised stare.
"I dunno he jumped on one of these boards and flew off with it! Since when did Ponyville workers use flying boards as construction material?" Applejack said confused.
"Since never!" said Twilight "That pony levitated the board, and used it as a ride."
"He did what now? Just who is he?" Applejack asked.
Snips hoofboarded across the town like he owned the place, completely forgetting that numerous ponies would see a technique, that would not be invented for another five years.
A certain mint colored pony caught sight of this display however and she could not believe it! A completely never seen before pony was floating around on a piece of wood with no effort, but more importantly, he was standing on his hind legs and doing something nopony had ever heard of.
There was only one explanation for this: This pony was not from this universe!
Snips didn't even have time to blink when he was tackled by the mint colored mare. He rolled on the ground and came to halt with the mare unicorn looking down on him, sporting an expression that he could not describe.
Snips recognized this pony as well, it was nopony other then Lyra Heartstrings.
"You!" she said suddenly.
"Aah! Yes! Me!" said Snips.
"You're not from around here, are you?" said Lyra.
"No, I'm uhh...from Canterlot...wait why did you tackle me!!?" Snips said annoyed.
"Oh, I saw the way you we're standing on two legs and doing something very unpony like! You're a human in Equestria right!?" she asked.
Lyra was an author in the future, she had written a long line of successful fantasy novels, based on mysterious creatures of her own creation called humans, the way she described this fictional world of humans was so detailed and so deeply imagined that it could have been real, the books were super popular and had spawned movies, merchandise and other trinkets based on the human mythology. Snips had heard that she was a little bit crazy tough, stating that the stories were actually real and not fantasy, like I said: crazy "but so are all great artists" thought Snips.
At this point Lyra was standing right above Snips and she was looking at him questionably.
"No, sorry, I'm a one hundred percent pony, but hey! If I see any humans I'll tell you." he said sheepishly.
"Aha!" Said Lyra.
"What?"
"You didn't even ask me what a human is!" she said.
"Oh come on! Everypony who doesn't live under a rock knows what a human is!" Snips said.
"You are!" said Lyra "You are a human! Tell me, what was your life like before you came to Equestria? Did you work at an dead end job? Have a miserable life? Did you look at us from that television thing?"
"What?! No! I was born here in Equestria!" Snips said.
"Oh really? When and where exactly?"
"In 992 of Celestia's reign, Ponyville hospital." Snips said without second thought.
Lyra rubbed her chin with a hoof and pondered what Snips had said for a while.
"Huh? You're telling me you're eight years old?" she said.
Snips was sweating nervously when he realized that he had just managed to get into timey-wimey trouble again.
"I meant that was the year when...when...that thing happened that I meant when I said that year." he said sheepishly.
"Oh! I get it! You've been in Equestria for eight years since you arrived from the human world? Perfect...just perfect" A disturbing grin was forming on Lyra's face and Snips felt himself shaking in fear. Then as Lyra reached out for the nearby hollow tree that contained the "human capture net", she was interrupted.
Twilight Sparkle had caught up with the hoofboarding thief and she marched over with huff and puff. Snips was so freaked out by Lyra, that when he saw the purple unicorn approaching, he felt so much relief that he didn't even attempt at running away.
"Twilight! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes..." he said.
"You...haah...stay...phew....right there..." she panted in exhaustion.
Then Snips took a good look at Twilight and was instantly mesmerized with the sight of this purple beauty, sweating and panting before him, he did as he was told and stood there with a dumb look on his face.
"Oh..hi Twilight...I didn't see you there..." he said.
"You just called out my name!" said Twilight angrily. "OK...look, Can you just...tell me who you are...I mean really?"
Snips opened his mouth when he was interrupted.
"He's a human!" Lyra said and pointed at him.
"..." said Twilight
"..." said Snips.
"A what!?"
"A human, a creature from another universe! They look at us from a machine called "television" and know all our ways! But don't let him fool you, He's just been turned into a pony!" Lyra said confidently and shook Snips around like she was expecting a mask fall off his face.
Twilight remained quiet for a while until she said:
"That...that just might explain a few things." she said.
"Oh, come on!!" said Snips.
"Whatever the case! You're coming with me! To the library!" Twilight said and grabbed hold of Snips. Naturally He blushed furiously when the lavender mare of his dreams took hold of his hoof (and his heart at the same time.)
"What...what are you going to do to me?" he asked nervously.
"First I'm gonna run some tests on you to make sure you're a real stallion."
Snips gasped. "...Wow...promise that you'll be gentle?" he said.
"Oh! I'm going to be as rough as I want with you!" Twilight said in anger.
"Yes!!" said Snips.
"Oh my gosh! Can I come too?" Lyra said in excitement.
Snips blushed even more, this was going to be one heck of a day.
"Sure, lets go hook this "creature" up." Twilight said,
And hook him up they did. Snips was taken to the library and attached to a variety of contraptions that included everything that you'd expect from Twilight's machines. Needless to say it wasn't what Snips had expected, yet everything went smoothly for Snips. The machines indicated that, he was indeed, a normal, unicorn stallion from Equestria. Things got bad however when they got to the lie detector.
"Well..." said Lyra. "Sure the machines couldn't prove that he's human...but that might be because the transformation is just too perfect! However! He cant lie to us about his true identity!"
Lyra had passed some notes to Twilight about "humans" and she had prepared a list of questions for him.
"Timey, do you know what a "human" is? Answer truthfully." she simply asked.
"Uhh...No?" he said.
The machine beeped, indicating that the answer was a lie. As you all probably know, Snips wasn't a human, but he had read future Lyra's books about them twice. This meant that he had an absurd knowledge of the creatures, even tough, at the time, the idea of humans was supposed to exist only in Lyra's head.
"Aha!" said Lyra triumphantly. "I knew it!"
Snips was in trouble again and he knew that the machine would beep through all of the questions and he would find himself in The Canterlot extra terrestial research center before he knew it. Once again he had to go through with an unpleasant route.
"No, Lyra!" he said and the mint unicorn looked at him curiously. "I know that because...I'm interested in humans as much as you are." which wasn't a lie, Lyra's books had made him quite curious. "I've been researching if they're real myself!" which was also true, since he had read the books he had attempted at finding out wheter they were actually real or not.
The machine did not beep, not a single sound came out of that thing and Lyra just stared at him. Snips was surprised, was she crying?
"I thought...I thought nopony else would understand...that I would always be treated like a crazy pony..." she said in tears of joy. "Even Bon Bon thought I was crazy! You're the only pony who understands!" Lyra said and then she hugged him deeply.
Snips felt awkward at this sudden approach from the mint colored unicorn and he chuckled nervously.
"Twilight! You must let him go, he's the only true friend I have, who has seen what I've seen." said Lyra in a dead serious tone.
"True friend? You just met him half an hour ago!" Twilight said.
"Twilight! True friendship is not measured in the time you spend with your friends but in the way you spend it!" Lyra said, then she stood up on a chair and spoke:
" When we honestly ask ourselves which pony in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hoof. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." said Lyra.
"Whoa...you just completed my entire study of friendship in one speech!" Twilight said.
"Oh buck!" thought Snips.
"And you just convinced me that Humans are real after all! I'm gonna go back to Canterlot university and prove it to them!" said Lyra.
"Oh hay!" thought Snips.
"And I'm gonna..." said Pinkie Pie.
"STOP!" said Snips "Stop this right now! Twilight your study of friendship is not over! And Lyra, you wont go to Canterlot University and you wont prove them anything! and you Pinkie you wont do...whatever it is that you do! And I'm gonna leave, save Rainbow Dash and get out of here before everything we know and love is destroyed!"
Snips panted in anger and all the ponies in the library remained silent. Then Pinkie Pie spoke up.
"Wow you sure are angry Timey...perfect...timing!" Pinkie snickered to herself. "Because I just set up your welcome to Ponyville party here in the library! That should cheer you up!"
At that moment the library was changed in an explosion of confetti and streamers to the most wackiest party that had ever existed. Random ponies of all kinds poured into the library in an unstoppable stream of colors and Snips lie detector apparatus was suddenly replaced with a party hat.
"Oh hey! Its that board surfing pony!" he heard the whispers in the crowd.
"Isn't that the pony who was in love with Rainbow Dash?"
"Nah, Spike told me Twilight had a crush on him."
"I heard he murdered apples!"
"And I heard that the entire universe will collapse in five seconds" said Snips.
To be continued in:
I bought some apples in the future!
I bought some apples in the future!
Snips in Time
Tuesday afternoon
The library was a total mess, Pinkie's party explosion had done its job. Twilight Sparkle was shocked but not as shocked as Snips, this day would, no doubt, be recorded in history books as the wackiest party that Ponyville had ever seen.
Snips would go home, pick up the nearest history book and it would read: "On that day nurse Red Heart, who was supposed to discover the cure for hoof rot, was too busy partying in a party that was never meant to happen, thanks to an time travelling idiot called Timey, also as a side note: the universe ceased to exist."
Well, maybe that wouldn't happen, there was no way he was getting home after all.
Oblivious of the panicking unicorn stallion Pinkie hopped over with sugar and spice and wrapped her hoof around "Timey".
"Helloooooooo Timey!~ Let me introduce you to some of my pals!" she said "There's Apple Cider, Caramel, Red Gala, Ace, Baritone, Bell Perin, Berry Punch, Cherry Berry, Davenport, Forest Spirit, Red Heart, Ginger Gold, Carrot Top, Mr.Greenhooves, Herald, Icy Drop, Lavenderhoof..." Pinkie went on for hours and hours and hours "...just to name a few!"
"Hello!" said Snips. "My name is: I don't exist, so go away!"
The ponies looked confused.
"Pfft! Don't be so shy Timey! He's just shy everypony!" Said Pinkie.
"Ohh!" said the party ponies and attacked Snips with a barrage of questions like "whats youre name?" or "where did you come from?" or "are you actually a time traveler?", well they didn't ask the last one, but they might as well have, because Snips couldn't take it.
Just when he was about to crack under pressure and tell them absolutely everything tough, Pinkie grabbed him along and introduced him to her closest friends.
"This is Fluttershy!"
Fluttershy blushed and hid behind her mane with an "eep!" Before Snips could say anything however, he was dragged over to a very familiar looking orange mare.
"And heres Applejack, she's a farme..."
"You!" interrupted the orange mare in question.
"Uhh...happy apple cart tossing day?" Snips said sheepishly.
"There aint no such thing as a apple cart tossing day you vermint! You ruined over forty of mah apples! They were worth at least...uhh...something around two thousand bits!" She said angrily.
"You're apples cost fifty bits a piece!?" Snips said in awe.
"Ugh!...I dunno! But you still owe me! You better pony up the dough right now!" said Applejack.
Snips reached out for his wallet and...realized that he didn't have a wallet. "Do you...take credit?" he said sheepishly.
"No!" said Applejack, and in a blink of an eye she lassoed and hogtied Snips. "But I do take some fresh working meat to the farm till you pay your debts!"
Then she threw the helpless stallion on her strong back and trotted away with him. Pinkie, Twilight and Lyra looked after them eyes wide when Pinkie heard somepony ask.
"..does this mean the party is over?"
"Well!" said Twilight "Looks like Timey is busy, so I guess we can't celebrate a destructive party, in my library, without my permission may I add, I think that you shoul..."
"Twilight, catch!" interrupted Pinkie and threw a party hat at Twilight. The hat landed right on Twilight's face
"Twilight caught the party hat party!!" yelled Pinkie and the ponies in the library went "Way to go Twilight!"
And then they celebrated till nightfall.
While he was helplessly bouncing up and down on the orange mares back, Snips realized that Applejack had just saved him from the overly curious ponies of the past!
"Thanks a lot Applejack!" he said. "you really helped me out there."
"Don't you try smooth talking to me! You're going to buck apples till you drop to pay for that cart load o apples!" said Applejack.
"Sure" said Snips, planning to teleport away as soon as Applejack had untied him, but then she simply dropped him on the ground and put a round metal object around Snips' horn with a *click!*
"Hey! Not so rough! What is that?" Snips said while he looked at his horn cross eyed.
"Just something I picked up from Twi's house, a magic lock! And I have the key! It should keep all fancy-smanchy magic blocked till you're done with the job." Applejack answered.
"What?! You can't do that!" Snips said.
"I just did! Now lets get to the farm and get started, and you might be done by next year!" said Applejack angrily, then she picked up her helpless victim again and off to the farm he went towards a life of sweat and hard labor.
So Snips bucked some trees and bucked some trees again, he couldn't even use magic to help with the job! Again he was glad that he had spent so time with The Doc, all that running with him had made his hind legs relatively strong.
Still, the job sucked, all he did was buck and buck and buck and...dear Luna he couldn't take it anymore! But Applejack's guarding eye was ever watchful, not to mention she held the key to his magic lock.
He had met a stallion that went by the name of Big Machintosh working on the orchard with him and thought "at least I have somepony to chat with" but no! That red pony was silent as a rock and had a vocabulary of two words! Applejack didn't provide him with any company either, the images of innocent bruised apples all over the road were still fresh in her mind.
As you can see, Snips time on the orchard was quite miserable, then on one day, he finally got to speak to somepony when he was approached by a yellow filly with a red mane and a cute little bow. She was wearing saddlebags and it looked like she was on her way to school. "Hi! I'm Apple Bloom! You're Timey right?" said the filly.
"Well...hello there Apple Bloom...yeah I guess I go by that name nowadays." Snips said tired.
"Scootaloo told me about you! You're that pony who has a crush on Rainbow Dash? Or was it Twilight? It wasn't Applejack was it?"
"I've been many things nowadays..." said Snips.
"Weird...you're bucking apples for us now?" Apple Bloom asked.
"I've been doing many things nowadays...but its not "nowadays"!! Its...its...uhh...yesterdays!!" Snips said annoyed "Arrgh! What am I doing!? How the hay did I end up here?!"
"You did the unthinkable and tossed Applejack's apples and made her mad." Apple Bloom simply answered.
"Yes, but it was an accident!" Snips said.
"No, I'm pretty sure she told me that you just ran over, took a look at the cart, grabbed the side and flipped it over." Apple Bloom said.
"Well, is there any way of getting out of here!?" Snips said.
"Buck some apple trees?" said Apple Bloom.
"Any way of getting out of here, while still keeping my sanity?" asked Snips while he wiped the sweat from his brow.
"You can always just pay the debt of five thousand bits to Applejack." Apple Bloom answered.
Snips almost fell over in shock.
"Five thousand!?" he coughed. "That mare is awful at math!"
"Yeah, but she's convinced that it was at least five thousand bits, and when Applejack is sure of something, theres no turning her head around." said Apple Bloom knowingly.
"...well thats it then." Snips said defeated.
"Yeah, unless you win the Ponyville lottery, you're not going anywhere." said Apple Bloom.
"...Wait...what did you say?"
"You're not going anywhere" said Apple Bloom "but you probably meant the part about the Ponyville lottery."
"I did" said Snips.
"Sorry, but I sure aint buying you a lottery ticket with the bits I get around here!" Apple Bloom said, then she waved her hoof. "See you later Timey, I'm going to school."
At that moment a wide grin formed on Snips lips, he had a plan! A crazy plan that might just work!
"Wait! Apple Bloom! Can you get me some paper and a pen?" he asked.
Apple Bloom was curious about what Snips was planning so she fetched the items from her saddlebags. Snips wrote on the piece of paper and hoofed it over to her. "Now don't read it!" he said. "Do you know a colt named Snips? A short unicorn, looks, extremely, distantly, just a little bit like me, but don't get any funny ideas?"
"Uhh...well yeah, I do know him." Apple Bloom said.
"Good! Could you pass this note to him in school?" asked Snips.
"...I don't think I can" Apple Bloom said "the other ponies might think I'm passing a love letter to him or something...and he's ugly!" she said shruddering.
Snips sighed and lowered his head in depression.
"Ugh...you think I'm ugly?" he mumbled.
"What? No, you're handsome mister, but Snips is ugly." Apple Bloom said and smiled.
"...Okay...can you do it anyway?...please." Snips said with his head still lowered.
"Fine, I'll dare Scootaloo to do it." Apple Bloom said and with that she was off.
Later that day Apple Bloom returned from school to meet Snips on the orchard again. Apple Bloom couldn't wait to find out what Snips was planning and she told him that the note had made it to colt Snips
Everything had went as planned then, even tough Snips suddenly had weird memories of Scootaloo having a crush on him in school, oh well!
"So? What now Timey?" Apple Bloom asked curiously.
"Hold on..." Snips said, he reached his hoof behind his ear and...
He pulled out an old, folded, yellowed piece of paper, the same piece of paper that Apple Bloom had given him in the morning. He opened the paper and there they were! The lottery winning numbers!
"I can't belive it! I did it! I kept the paper safe for ten years!!" thought Snips.
Apple Bloom stared in awe "Is that the paper I gave you? But how is it all old and yellow now? How'd you do that!?" she asked.
You might be asking the same question as Apple Bloom, but unlike her, you'll get to know what happened. Snips had written a message to his colt self that simply read.
Hello Snips!
Write the winning numbers of tomorrows lottery on this piece of paper! The Great and Powerful Trixie demands it! And don't tell anypony about it! It better remain a secret or The Great and Powerful Trixie will rain her revenge on you! After that make sure to keep this paper behind your ear for as long as I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, come to retrieve it.
Don't you dare lose it before I do!!
Your idol: The Great and Powerful Trixie!
Colt Snips had done as asked, he wrote the winning numbers of tommorows lottery on the paper and hid it behind his ear every day in fear of The Great and Powerful Trixie, and then, ten years later, the present Snips had the paper!
Confusing? Lets just say its all timey-wimey and leave it at that.
"Man, I sure loved that show pony mare as a kid" Snips said to himself.
"What pony? What are you talking about!?" Apple Bloom asked confused.
"Who cares! Lets get a lottery ticket! I'm feeling lucky!" he said and stood up triumphantly.
"We still can't afford that!" Apple Bloom said.
"Don't worry, I always carry some extra bits in my scarf" Said Snips.
And so Apple Bloom convinced Applejack to give Snips a little break, (it wasn't like he wanted to escape with the magic lock still stuck on his horn) and they went to the lottery office. There he confidently smacked some of his scarf hidden bits on the table.
The mare on the desk looked at the bits cross eyed and rolled her eyes.
"Is this some kind of a joke?" she asked.
"What? Whats the matter?" Snips said, his good mood draining away.
"Well, supposedly these bits came out of the mint ten years in the future!" she said. "Nice try pal, next time you make a forgery, try to get the year on the coin right...and whats with the picture on these things? Luna and Celestia are both on the coin?"
"Oh yeah, they didn't make the coins with Luna until year 1 of Celestia's and Luna's reign" Snips remembered.
Then he realized that he was being accused of money forgery and could soon find himself in Ponyville jail.
"Heyy!! I sure got you! Happy Celestia pranking day aahahah." Snips laughed nervously. "How about I take those maneopoly coins back from you and I'll go get the real bits?"
The mare on the desk raised her eyebrow in suspicion, but it seemed that she was simply too bored and uniterested in her job to care, so she let Snips walk off with the future bits.
"Where the hay did you get bits like that anyway?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Forget the bits! We're gonna need some real money, fast!" said Snips.
At that moment Applejack arrived to fetch her worker back to the farm
"OK, time to get back to work.." she said but she was interrupted when Snips threw himself on the ground before and pleaded:
"Applejack! Please! You gotta give me some bits so I can buy a lottery ticket and pay back your debt so I don't ever have to buck anything again!" he said.
"Lottery tickets? Those things are just a bunch of hooey! Nopony ever wins." Applejack huffed.
"No! I have the winning numbers! All I need is the ticket." Snips pleaded.
"You have the winning numbers? How the hay could you have the winning numbers?" said Applejack and picked Snips up from the ground and looked him straight in the eye "you better not be lying to me." she said in a dead serious tone.
Snips looked straight into those emerald eyes.
"Trust me, its the honest truth, I have the numbers." he said.
Applejack was taken aback by this and she let go of Snips.
"You sure?" she asked.
"Absolutely sure." Snips said confidently.
Applejack looked at Apple Bloom, then she looked at Snips and sighed, Snips simply handed over the paper with the numbers. "The prize belongs to you, that should pay off my debts." he said.
Applejack stood there silent for a moment and then she sighed even deeper. "Fine..." she said, and much to the surprise of Snips and Apple Bloom, she pulled out the key and opened the magic lock on Snips' horn, the lock fell off with a cling.
Snips looked at her dumbfounded.
"You're letting me go?" he asked in disbelief.
"Sure, you can go Timey." Applejack said.
"Aww yeah!" Snips cheered and galloped off as fast as he could.
Apple Bloom and Applejack watched him go until he was out of sight.
"Why'd you let him go sis!? He must have lied! He couldn't possibly know what the numbers are going to be!" Apple Bloom said in frustration.
"I dunno...I can tell when a pony is lying, and it seemed like an obvious lie..." Applejack said "...but when he said that he knew the numbers, I couldn't help but feel that he was telling me the honest truth."
"You let him go because you felt he was telling the truth?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Eeyup!" Applejack simply answered.
"Aww..." Apple Bloom said "and I was starting to like him too."
"I'm sure we'll see him again." Applejack snickered "now come on! We got a lottery to win!"
To be continued in:
We just met tomorrow!
Snips in Time
Wednesday morning
Snips woke up the next morning to the cold embrace of the time machine floor.
The previous day he had simply trotted in, shut the door and collapsed on the floor exhausted, this didn't stop the time machines AI: Sparkle, from asking questions that, by now I'm sure you all know, had something to do with hearts and buttons.
"Morning master! How'd yesterday go?" Sparkle asked.
"Terrible...I met a bunch of new ponies I should have never met, and messed up the time lines like crazy..." said Snips
"Right, did you get the red silk?" the computer said.
"The what now?...oh yeaaah...that..." he answered "I forgot."
"You need to focus master, you also forgot that you were supposed to press the heart shaped button, first thing in the morning." Sparkle informed.
Snips groggily reached out for the button but halted in midway. "...almost had me there for a second." he said tired, and streched out, which caused his bones to snip and snap like that of an old pony.
"Well, that floor is doing wonders to you it seems." said the computer.
"Marvels" said Snips.
"I wouldn't worry too much tough, you can always just use the scarf." the computer stated.
"...huh?" Snips sighed.
"Yes, the scarf around your neck is made of authentic red tartarusian silk" said the computer.
Snips would have done something drastic at this point, but he was simply too tired and too much in pain from sleeping on the time machine floor, so he simply said: "You didn't mind telling me this before I left?"
"I wouldn't want to part you from the only fashionable piece of clothing you own!" said the computer.
"I'm so gonna install a virus in you if we get back..." Snips said annoyed.
"I understand." said the computer "after all, I want my master to look his best, we'll save the scarf for the last!"
"Fantastic, whats the next item then?"
"Oh, its simple really." said the machine.
"What is it then!?" Snips said his patience growing thin.
"Just stuff a thunder cloud from Cloudsdale in the fuel compartment."
Snips thought about this for a while and huffed.
"Sparkle, look at my sides." he said.
"Yes?" the computer said obliviously.
"You see any fricking wings!?" he asked.
"Uhh...no?" the computer said sheepishly.
"Then pray tell, how do I get up there, grab a cloud and bring it here!?"
"I don't know" the computer said. "Surf a rainbow up there or something."
That's when some pieces of Snips' memory clicked back together and his eyes widened. "...can you check something for me"
"As I have state..."
"Good, check a pony named Rainbow Dash from the future records." he interrupted.
"Huh?...There are...no records of Rainbow Dash in the future." the computer stated.
"Of course there isn't..." Snips said. "because she dies" he thought.
Snips stormed out of the time machine as fast as his pony legs would allow him to go. He had forgotten! How could he have forgotten!? Rainbow Dash was still in danger, and to top it off, the tryouts for The Wonderbolts Flight academy, The academy where she would die, were today!
So once again he rolled around at the speed of sound, and in his haste, he forgot to ask where the tryouts were, and he had no idea where he was going. The most important thing, it seemed, was simply to go!
His constant running had made many Ponyvillians to believe that Snips was some kind of a marathon pony, nopony knew where he lived tough but they had seen that he simply ran into the direction of the forest in the evening and they assumed he kept running in circles through the night until, in the morning, he simply turned around and ran back into town.
Snips had a case of "run into random ponies because youre an idiot who doesn't look where he's going" and he stumbled into an equally clumsy pony on the road. Snips was quickly on his hooves again and moved to help the mare he had accidentally tackled. Then he noticed it was the same familiar grey pegasus he had met yesterday!
"Ditzy! Good to see you!" Snips said "Listen...I need help with Rainbow Dash again, the tryouts are today and..."
"What?...Who are you? How do you know my name?" said the grey pegasus flustered.
"Who am I? We just met yesterday! I'm Timey." he said confused.
"Sorry...I don't know you" Ditzy said sadly.
"But..what about...The Doctor, you know The Doctor right?" asked Snips.
"Doctor? No, I'm fine, really, this happens to me all the time...even though its usually me who crashes into others instead of being crashed into." Ditzy chuckled. "I'll be going now!" she said and turned around to leave.
"Huh? Wait! Ditzy!" Snips said and went after her.
"Hmm? Whats the matter?" she asked.
"You honestly don't know The Doctor?" Snips said extremely confused.
"Its ok! I don't need a doctor" she said and blushed "are you...are you really that worried about me?"
She didn't know him! The pegasus he had met yesterday wasn't the same one standing before him at the moment! Then who was it? It could have only been the same pony, there was no mistaking those eyes or that voice, still at the time they met, she knew The Doctor, but now she had no idea...could it be...no, that's impossible.
Still, Snips assumed it would be safe to ask for help from this pegasus, who knew The Doctor...or would know him at some point at least.
"Can I ask for a favor Ditzy? Do you know Rainbow Dash?" he said.
Ditzy was suddenly taken away from her day dreaming "Huh? Yes, she's the weather team captain." she said disappointed.
"OK...listen to me...she's in terrible danger." he said.
"What? How!?" Ditzy said panicked "We need to tell Twilight!"
"No! We can't tell Twilight or anypony else!" Snips hissed "Look, Rainbow is going to be at The Wonderbolts flight academy tryouts today and they're going to accept her...but...we can't let that happen no matter what."
"How do you know that?" Ditzy said and whispered as well.
"I just do, trust me." he said.
Ditzy was quite confused, but what she did understand was that Rainbow Dash was apparently in danger, and that this pony was trying to save her. Sure it didn't seem like the most convincing tale, but Ditzy was bored that day and a crazy adventure with a cute stallion didn't seem like such a bad idea. Besides, he seemed distantly familiar, like they had actually met before after all.
"OK, I'll trust you, what's the plan?" she asked.
Snips was taken back by this. "Wait, you'll trust me, just like that?"
"Sure, you're not lying right?" she said.
"Well, no but.." Snips stumbled.
"Then whats the matter?" said Ditzy.
Snips smiled, now he could see why Ditzy would know The Doc someday.
They trotted over to the tryouts where many ponies were running around. The place was a large field where a bunch of seats, and stands selling Wonderbolts merchandise, formed a circle, and In the middle of that circle, pegasi practiced the standard array of aerial stunts and moves.
Rainbow Dash however, was far from "standard aerial stunts." Her moves were absolutely ridiculous in scale and delivery, she was really pushing herself too far to convince the judges and even the smallest mistake could send her crashing to her doom. It was understandable since only one pegasus was chosen from each town of Equestria.
Snips could see why they accepted her into the academy, but he could also see why it would lead her to an untimely demise.
"It's too late to sabotage her performance now that she's here in front of the crowd..." Snips whispered to Ditzy "The only way we can stop her now...is for somepony else to be better than her."
"But look at them! The other pegasi stand no chance!" Ditzy said.
"No...but you just might." Snips said deviously.
"What? Me? But I can barely fly straight, let alone do stunts like that!" Ditzy said blushing.
Now, as you all know, levitation was revolutionalized by Twilight Sparkle in the future, allowing for a wide array of levitational tricks, and as a result, pegasi tryouts would be heavily guarded for any magical aid.
At the time Snips was in however, levitation was only advanced enough for an unicorn to levitate another pony in the air, and this was not seen as much of help when doing stunts.
Snips was a pony of the future tough, and he knew exactly how to propel things with the speed of sound using levitation, here it would come in hoof. Granted he had only practiced with rocks and he had not levitated other ponies like that, first time for everything!
"Don't sweat it...I can give you some magical aid and boost your moves with levitation." Snips said.
"Levitation? That won't be much of a help, even Twilight can't levitate pegasi to do stunts." said Ditzy in disbelief.
"No she can't, but I can, just flap your wings and smile, I'll do the rest." Snips said with such confidence that anypony would have believed him.
Ditzy believed him too, much to her surprise "Fine..." she said, and she trotted over to the sign in counter.
"Name?" said the Wonderbolt on the counter in a bored tone.
"Ditzy Doo."
The Wonderbolt raised her head and looked at the grey pegasus in front of her. "You sure? You don't look like you can even see straight." she said surprised.
"Excuse me?" Ditzy said angrily.
"Its your funeral kid, move out to the circle with the other pegasi." said The Wonderbolt who clearly felt she didn't need to show any respect to these "wannabes". Suddenly, with no warning, she slapped a paper with a number on Ditzy's flank. Ditzy scowled at her but kept going.
Meanwhile Snips had taken his place in the crowd and attempted to find the most conspicious place there was. Unfortunately he ended up bumbing into nopony other then Twilight Sparkle herself. Snips blushed furiosly when he saw the purple beauty once again "I'll never get used to that" he thought.
"Twilight! I mean...Twilight what are you doing here?" he said awkwardly.
"I'm here to cheer for Rainbow Dash of course!" She said smiling "You know...I'm still not entirely sure who you are exactly...tell me...what are you doing here?"
"Oh nothing!" said Snips nervously. "Just watching the show."
"...You better not be trying anything funny..." Twilight hissed "I'm watching you..."
Snips heart lept and he blushed! Twilight was watching him ! This was amazing...no wait! Of course the most magically talented unicorn had to be there when Snips was attempting to cheat using, just that, magic!
Ditzy was trotting around, smiling nervously. "Places everypony!" shouted The Wonderbolt from the counter.
The circle was cleared of pegasi and they moved to the waiting area to wait for their turns. Ditzy hoped that Rainbow wouldn't notice her but, to her bad luck, her turn was right after Rainbow Dash!
No matter how much Ditzy attempted at hiding behind her mane like Fluttershy, Rainbow trotted over to her.
"Derpy?" said the raspy voice, using Ditzy's infamous nickname.
"Hi, Rainbow! You're uh...last? I thought you'd be first in the line since...you've been waiting for this for weeks now." Ditzy said nervously,
"Well, I might have skipped sleep a couple of times, and I might have had a little unvoluntary nap in the morning, and I might have come here pretty late, which is why I'm last on the line." answered Rainbow.
"Well...good luck then!" Ditzy said smiling.
"Thanks I guess...but you're not supposed to be here you know." said Rainbow and then she noticed the number on Ditzy's flank "Wait...you're the last in line?"
"Yeah, I'm uh..." Ditzy said.
"You?" asked Rainbow in desbelief.
"Whats wrong with that?" said Ditzy.
"Pfft! You can't even fly straight!" Rainbow said and then, much to Ditzy's annoyment, she collapsed on the ground with laughter "What are you gonna do? Crash on the judges so they accept you? Baahahaha!!"
Ditzy was fuming with anger but said nothing, after all, Rainbow was right, she wasn't much of a flier. Still she wouldn't be insulted like this! But just when she was about to open her snout for a come back, the judges called out for the first contestant.
Snips was sweating nervously, Twilight wasn't looking at him at the moment so he tried out if he could magic something without her noticing. Much to his luck Snips' magic was colored light blue, which made it blend perfectly with the sky and would make it hard to see when the stunts began.
Still, as soon as a single sparkle flew out of his horn to levitate a nearby empty soda can, Twilight was on him. "What are you doing Timey?" she said suspiciously.
"Just levitating this can?" he said.
"Levitating an empty can?" said Twilight.
"Gotta keep the nature clean of trash right?" said Snips and smiled sheepishly.
"Sure" Twilight answered and drilled on to him with her eyes. "but you better not be levitating anything else..."
Snips chuckled nervously and looked out for an distraction. He couldn't find any.
Finally Rainbow was called out for the tryouts and she flew as expected, stunningly and without any flaws! The crowd was simply amazed by the way she pulled off the most dangerous moves and regained her altitude when it seemed she was about to crash. Even Snips was in awe, yet he hoped that Rainbow's show would last longer and give him some time to think of a plan, no such luck presented itself however and soon it was Ditzy's turn.
Ditzy trotted over to the circle nervously and watched the numerous ponies staring at her from the crowd. She swallowed nervously and took to the air waiting for Snips to start the show. Nothing happened
Snips just couldn't get rid of Twilight! She was right there watching him at all times like a hawk! Poor Ditzy was in trouble however, she was awkwardly just flying in front of the crowd with a desperate expression on her face. Rainbow was snickering uncontrollably and soon the judges had had enough.
"Miss Doo, I think thats quite enough, unless you show us some stunts right now, this test is over."
Snips was running out of time, he looked at Twilight and then he looked back at Ditzy.
She had trusted him! Ditzy had trusted him and now he was about to let her down! Snips came up with an idea, a thing that would surely distract Twilight. Sure It would probably lead her to hate him forever yet there was no alternative. Snips was determined, he would not let Ditzy down.
"Twilight." he said in a serious tone.
"Hmm?" said Twilight and turned to look at him.
"I'm sorry." said Snips
And right at that moment he activated the levitation spells and planted a kiss right on Twilight's snout. Twilight eyes widened in surprise and she was definately not paying attention to Snips' magic, neither was Snips tough.
Ditzy flung around the air like a ragdoll and she screamed and flapped her wings furiously. She flew backwards, sideways and turned around in a ninety degree angle just when she was about to hit the ground in high speeds. The judges stared in awe, Rainbow's laugh died like flowers in winter and the crowd cheered! Ditzy's moves were out of this world!
Snips' magic ended, Ditzy did a couple of backflips and accidentally landed on the ground right on her hooves, eyes spinning. "She is our mare!" said the judges "such disregard for the laws of physics have never been seen before!"
Snips broke out of this kiss, turned to look at Dizty being cheered by the crowd, nodded and with lighting speed he made his escape.
For a moment Twilight was too stunned to even say anything "...oh wow" she finally said.
Snips returned to the time machine with a huge smile plastered on his face. "I kissed Twilight!" he thought and opened the door.
He didn't even bother saying hello, he just said: "Check the records for Rainbow Dash!"
"Rainbow Dash" said the computer "The founder of a popular stunt group called: The Prismaticbolts."
"Wait, what?" Snips said surprised.
"The records say that after being rejected from joining The Wonderbolts stunt group, at the year 0 wonderbolts tryouts, she decided to simply start her own stunt flying group, which evolved into The Prismaticbolts, currently the most popular aerial stunt group in Equestria." the computer said.
"Whoa..." Snips said. "I did that?"
"Did what?" asked the computer confused.
"Nothing..." Snips said in relief, Rainbow Dash was saved then, still he didn't want to ask what had happened to the other ponies he had messed around with or he could find himself in a situation like this again, start fixing things and end up breaking more then fixing.
Sometimes, not knowing the future, was a better option.
"Did you get the thunder cloud?" the computer asked.
"The what now?...oh...horsefeathers!"
To be continued in:
Zap to the future.
Snips in Time
Wednesday night
Snips had had enough of walking around in Ponyville in broad daylight for everypony to see! The night seemed like the best option to venture out to get the thunder cloud, and besides, the only way he could reach it was by levitating himself, and the ponies of Equestria were not yet ready to see a flying unicorn.
Stepping outside he could see that the land was covered in a shroud of pale light. The moon watched over the world from the endless vastness of the night sky. Out there, every single flickering star housed a solar system full of mystery and possibly life, wonderous places that nopony would ever have the chance to see, yet it filled their dreams with hope and curiosity.
On that night, two dreamers were gazing upon them in hopes of capturing what they were looking for. Twilight Sparkle and Lyra Heartstrings, the other quenching her curiosity, the other seeking her dreams. It was as if all the secrets of this world were presented in front of them, and all they had to do was reach out to catch them.
Yet what they saw was far from mystery, a silhouette of a flying unicorn against the pale moon, both mares thought that it could have been no other then Princess Luna herself, the noble yet once fallen princess of the night. Twilight Sparkle felt doubt in her heart when she noticed that the moon princess was not only shorter but she lacked visible wings and seemed more masculine then before.
She shook her head in protest, even that stallion could not be so skilled in levitation! Meanwhile a mint colored unicorn was humming to herself in joy. Once again that stallion was doing something very unpony like, something that she was sure, only certain bipedalled creatures could do.
Luckily for that stallion, neither mare could fly, which meant they could not confirm their suspicions.
Snips was getting quite tired of flying however and he cast the well known spell that would allow unicorns to walk on clouds. He sat on the nearest cloud and lowered his head in defeat. He had no idea where Cloudsdale was! Sure he had heard of the place as a colt, and sure he had seen it during the day floating above Ponyville, but this cursed darkness would not allow him to see it!
At that moment the actual Princess Luna herself, flew over to the flustered stallion for she was also drawn in by the mysterious sight of a flying unicorn.
Tall and proud she was, a majestic alicorn from an age of old, and graceful was her flight, and flawless was her shape, as if she had been one with the night sky since the worlds creation. And as Snips gazed upon her, not only did he feel admiration but respect for this being, that had been here before him, and that would be here even after his time on this world was long gone.
So full of sadness were her eyes and so full of memories of a time long forgotten that even Snips felt his heart grow heavy and without thinking he bowed deeply as Luna landed before him.
"It is a night full of surprises indeed, for we did not know that unicorns were yet capable of levitating themselves! Pray tell little pony, what is thy name?" said Luna in a voice that was both proud and high, like a thunder in the mountains.
"Timey?" squaked Snips in fear.
"Well met Timey son of Equestria! I am Luna Princess of the night." she said adressing herself in the more modern term of "I" instead of "we"
"Yes, I am aware of that." Snips whispered fearing that Luna could tell that he was not of this time.
"You are? We are pleased, for most unicorns would think that we are still Nightmare Moon, still you seem unlike "most unicorns" we have met so far, for were unicorn hooves not meant to remain on the earth? What has brought you to this cold night sky?" she asked.
"Uhh...I'm lost." he said truthfully.
Luna laughed at this "Lost? Quite a place you have gotten yourself lost into!" she said and then she laid herself down next to Snips which caused him to blush furiously. "Alas, it seems we are not so different, for I am lost too...in a way that you might understand."
"Wha-what do you mean?" said Snips.
Luna sighed and looked at the night sky with a longing gaze "Full of sadness and longing have been my dreams of late, for I am not a pony of this age, my time is long gone, and I have not adapted like my sister." she said.
"Your time is long gone, what time?" Snips said confused.
"I can tell you, if you would care to listen" said Luna and she turned to look at him.
Snips simply nodded, slowly.
Then he listened while Luna spoke in her clear voice of the creation of Equestria and of the alicorns of old, she told him about the forging of the elements of harmony and of Discord, who at that time was not yet named and did not seem evil, and how he ensnared the alicorns of old and stole their knowledge of magic and how the power was too much for him to control and it drove him mad.
"It was at this time" said Luna "when the alicorns of old chose Celestia and I to seek out the elements of harmony and it was at that time when they gave their remaining powers to two mortals and left this world and the world would never see such grace and power again."
Snips simply nodded again.
Luna continued her tale of the quest of freeing the world of Discord, which will not be retold here for it is a long tale full of war and deeds both good and evil, and as she spoke, Snips heard of wonders that had long ago left this world and he listened in awe.
Then after mortals had proven their valor and courage in defeating Discord, Luna and Celestia were the only alicorns remaining, and it fell on their hearts to rule over the land. A great city was built called the Everfree and in the middle of that city lay The Royal sisters palace where Luna and Celestia, still young and foolish, lived.
She told him how they were unable to unite the three races of ponies, unicorns, pegasi and the earth ponies and how Everfree became an unicorn city when the pegasi left to the white streets of Cloudsdale, and when the earth ponies moved out to the wild, seeking new lands to inhabit.
Then evil crept back to Equestria and Luna was seduced by it's promises of power to unite the pony races, and she built, in secret,The Night tower on the side of The Canterlot mountain where she bred an army of batponies to take over the land. Celestia named her "Nightmare Moon" and in another tale of glory and death, Celestia gathered the elements of harmony once more and united the pony races to defeat the dark armies of Nightmare Moon.
The Everfree city was destroyed and in it's place grew a cursed forest full of memory and anger, of the souls of the many ponies that had perished there. Canterlot was built from the remains of the night tower, and Luna was sent to the moon where she spent many bitter years lingering in regret while the rest of the world moved on without her until all that remained of the world of old was her sister.
And that's where Luna ended her tale which Snips had carefully listened to, and tough she spoke briefly the morning sun was already creeping up from the horizon.
"And such is the life of an alicorn, full of bittersweet memories of ages long gone, yet full of hope of the new exciting things to come. Even this long talk I've had with you, is to me but a brief moment in time, for your tale will end, yet mine will go on for an uncount amount of years." said Luna in a voice that made Snips feel sad.
"But...why tell me all of this?" he asked.
"Because you and I are both not of this time, and you of all mortals should understand my troubles." Luna said.
Snips stood up in fear "you knew?!" he asked.
"I have not lived so long to be fooled so easily!" she laughed "I have seen many foals in my life, and such is time for me that it is only a blink of an eye when they are already full grown. I can tell what foals will look like when they are adults and you are Snips of Ponyville are you not?" Luna asked.
Snips was about to answer but he was interrupted.
"You do not need to answer, for the ways of the future are better kept secret" Luna said "Still, you must return to your own time as soon as you can, I can tell your heart is not that of evil, yet time is not to be meddled with!"
"Can I still ask for a little help from you Princess?" Snips asked his voice quivering.
"...only once, but after that we must not meet again until the time is right" said Luna.
Snips told Luna about the thunder cloud he needed and Luna nodded knowingly, then she flew off and soon returned with a said cloud encased in pale white light.
"I have made it so you can move this cloud with your hooves even tough you are not a pegasus...remember, you must return to your own time immediately, we know that you are here, and we will be watching." Luna said and poked Snips with a hoof.
Snips smiled sheepishly "Understood, thanks." he said.
Then Luna bid him farewell and flew off leaving Snips there to stand on the cloud and to ponder for a while what had just happened. Luna had just suddenly told him the true history of Equestria! Was it because she needed to get it off of her chest or because she knew that he was a time traveler, and that he could find out what had actually happened anyway? Or that if he went to those times he would know what not to mess up? Or was it a warning of some sort?
Still he had what he needed for now and he made his way back to the time machine, levitating through the morning sky with a thundercloud in tow.
Applejack had woken up early in her usual way and she was proudly watching as the new lottery money purchased barn was being painted by Apple Bloom. That stallion had not lied, the numbers were correct and they could finally afford all the new things that they badly needed for the farm, Applejack thought she would have to find that stallion later and thank him properly...and maybe find out how'd he know the numbers.
Then she gazed upon the sky and saw the said stallion flying away with a thundercloud hanging on his hooves.
"What the hay? He was a wingless alicorn all the time? That explains a lot." she said shrugging.
Snips made it back to the time machine and stuffed the enchanted thunder cloud into the fuel compartment. Then he sat down for a while and sighed "That was certainly one magical night" he said.
"Looks like you found the thunder cloud!" the time macines AI: Sparkle said.
"Yes...yes I did, Sparkle we need to get back to the future soon, whats the next item?" said Snips.
"Whats the hurry?" said Sparkle "how was your night?"
"I don't know" said Snips "It all felt like...like it was all just a dream."
"Met the mare of your dreams did you?" said the computer teasingly.
Snips wasn't annoyed however, he felt sad "All I met was an old sad mare who will never meet the love of her dreams." he said "and if she does, she'll lose her dream in a blink of an eye."
"Well, aren't you full of riddles and poetry today" said Sparkle. "Still I should probably tell you that the time has come for the finding of the toughest ingredient to find!"
"Oh yeah?" said Snips "What's that?"
"The zap apple of course!" the computer said.
"The zap apple!?" said Snips
"Yes, and the season for zap apples was two weeks ago here." Sparkle said almost amused.
"Then...where the hay can I get my hooves on one of those fruits?" asked Snips.
"Don't know" said Sparkle "maybe you can just ask around town to find out."
"You still wont let me have that disguise kit?" Snips asked.
"Heart shaped button." Sparkle said simply.
"Say good bye to the universe then!" said Snips and trotted out of the time machine on another mindless adventure.
To be continued in:
Gotta get zap in time.
Snips in Time
Wednesday morning
"What do you mean ""There ain't no zap apples here sugarcube"" "? Snips asked while he imitated the country mares famous accent.
"Thats just what it means, all zap apples were squashed to jelly and fed to Pinkie a week ago, I understand zap apples are mighty good but why do ya need it so badly?" Applejack said while she bucked some trees. "Careful, here they come."
Snips was running around with a basket on his head, he was meant to catch the apples in the basket yet it wasn't as easy as it sounded, so he busted out the levitation magic and the apples flew into the basket with no effort.
"Huh? That's convinient! Maybe I should hire a unicorn assistant here someday, say... ya'll interested?" said Applejack with a nod of her hat.
"Not really, all I wanted was the zap apple...I need it." Snips said defeated.
Applejack sighed and walked over to him "Look, sugarcube, if I could help you, I would, after all you've done for us, it's the least I can do." she said and gave him a hug "Thank you."
Snips was confused once again, and he realised that he had been confused a lot lately. "...uhh...what did I do?" he said sheepishly.
"The lottery! Ya gave us that whole price even when you didn't need to!" Applejack said "and we could finally pay all our debts to Filthy Rich and his company, the farm belongs to family again..."
"Oh...I saved the farm that wasn't supposed to be saved?...thats bad" Snips thought.
Then Applejack let go of him and put her hoof on his shoulder. "And you're always welcome in the Apple family, Timey."
Snips smiled and blushed, well maybe it wasn't that bad "always?" Snips asked.
"Always" Applejack said without knowing what that meant to time travelling Snips.
"Well!" said Applejack breaking the moment "I heard that Twi was looking for ya, something about ""first kisses"" but I'm not sure, she's always over reacting!" Applejack chuckled.
Snips suddenly remembered his quest and what Luna had said. He shouldn't get too attached to this time he would have to leave. Twilight must never find him!
"Applejack, I beg you! I'll do anything for a zap apple! anything! " he said in desperation.
"Anything? Even risk your life?" asked Applejack. "cause...well I shouldn't probably tell you this, but I think you'll find out eventually anyway so...OK" she said and pointed at a direction of a looming forest. "Many, many years ago, my granny went into that forest and found the first of zap apples...now...I'm not sure, but I think you might find some there yourself too, even tough the season is over."
Snips looked at the direction of the forest, it was dark, uninviting and had an atmosphere of utter horror. "That forest?" he said and he could remember what the forest was called only he hoped it was not so "what's it called?" he asked.
"The Everfree forest." said Applejack.
Of course it had to be that forest, that same place Luna had said was "a cursed forest full of memory and anger, of the souls of the many ponies that had perished there." man, she sure was one fancy talker.
"I have to go in there?" he asked in fear.
Snips stood at the entrance of the forest, the time machines AI had been nice enough to give him some saddlebags so he could collect the apples.
It didn't make much difference to the fact that the forest was, simply put, cursed! He could feel eyes watching him at all times as he walked past the first of the trees that led inside the woods of terror, Snips knew that this is where The city of Everfree had stood and this is where the armies of Nightmare Moon and Celestia had fought for the freedom of Equestria.
All that remained was supposedly wandering souls of the dead, full of regret and anger, and more then happy to make living ponies join their ranks. He trotted deeper and deeper into the forest all the while eyeing the treetops for those darn fruits he needed, yet the further he went the harder it became to see as the forest became dark and the trees became taller.
After a while he could swear that he saw shapes of ponies moving between the trees, whispering in the wind as they went, he immediately thought that coming here was the worst idea he had ever had.
He looked around desperately for the apples so he could leave as soon as possible but all he saw was ruins, large old ruins of marble stone and he quickly went inside. It was a white palace where large pillars of marble stood to support a large dome like ceiling, and the walls were covered with writings of the alicorn language, and in the glass paintings, faded yet stil distinquishable, were pictures of heroic deeds of old.
At the other end, opposite from the door, was a throne of dark blue stone and on that throne sat, hanging on a silver chain, a white horn shaped like that of a crecent moon.
As Snips saw the horn he felt a sudden urge to take it and blow on it, he could not explain it but the horn drew him near and as he reached out to touch it, the horn was unaturally cold, still as if he was moving against his own will, he put it around his neck, lifted the horn, closed his eyes and blew on it and the sound it made echoed through the empty halls.
Snips opened his eyes, he could see something he did not expect, it was daylight!
He looked around himself and saw that the palace seemed new, like it had been rebuilt in the few seconds he kept his eyes closed. "What...is this?" he said out loud.
Then he trotted over to the newly appeared door and opened it.
Outside was a city! A white city of marble where majestic towers stood tall and on top of them, banners of Equestria fluttered in the wind. The streets were filled with ponies walking around minding their own business, Snips couldn't remember getting into the time machine yet here he was in Everfree city!
"How...how am I here?" he said.
Then he noticed something quite weird, there was something wrong with all the ponies there, all of them lacked something they shouldn't.
All of them were blank flanks.
Then again, so was seemingly Snips at the time, his flanks had been covered with strong dye.
"Hello!" he said to the passing ponies.
They all turned to look at him simultaneously, death in their eyes and suddenly the sky darkened and the city began to decay, large black stones flew from the skies destroying everything in their path and the tall towers of the city crumbled to dust.
"It's Nightmare Moon! Nightmare Moon! Our doom has come!" yelled the ponies staring at him, and they too began to decay, taking a form that of black, oily, shadows, their bodies were riddled with holes and out of those holes poured red light that also covered their eyes.
"HOLY HAY!!!" Snips yelled in fear, he turned around and galloped back inside the palace, the monster ponies shambled after him, slowly but steadily.
Snips could smell the decay and death behind him that would take him too if he did not find a way out.
The citizens of Everfree poured inside and they approached him as he climbed on top of the throne.
"Stay with us!" they said "We would not like it if you leave."
A sea of red and black death below him, Snips realized that the cursed horn was still hanging on his neck!
He struggled to remove it "come on! COME ON!" he yelled in fear and just when one of the monsters caught his hind leg and pulled him down he ripped the horn off and he fell on the empty cold floor of the palace ruins.
The monster ponies were gone, the palace was in ruins once again and everything was, as if nothing had happened. Snips lay there for a moment, panting in fear and then he stood up on his shaky hooves. There on the floor next to him lay the white horn on a silver chain and he dared not approach it again or gaze upon it for too long. He had to leave now!
Snips galloped outside and kept running until he could not remember where the ruins had been, the forest was whispering to him all the while, and the shapes of ponies he thought he saw last time were now clear as day, rows of ghostly royal guards silently fought against thousands of batponies between the trees.
Finally after running for hours, he saw the exit! Light poured from between the trees and Snips almost had hope that he would live through the day after all! If only there was nothing waiting for him in ambush...
Then he was caught! A terrible yellow creature from the depths of tartarus, stood in his way and he fell over. "eep!" said the monster, not the most monster-like yell he had ever heard but this forest was evil and mysterious and nopony could tell what kind of horrors it held.
He stood up to look at the terror in the eye, it was a yellow pegasus mare with a pink mane and she did not seem terrible in any way, quite beautiful in fact, he thought. Yet nothing in this forest was as it seemed and Snips was already scared to the bone by his experience in the palace, this mare was no doubt, another trap!
"Stay back! Stay back you monster!" he yelled and made his horn glow threateningly.
The "monster" cowered in fear and hid behind her mane "I'm sorry" it whispered in a sweet voice. Then Snips noticed a familiar yellow filly with a red mane standing next to the "monster". It was nopony other than Apple Bloom.
"Timey! You're okay...Applejack told me you went to the Everfree forest, I convinced Fluttershy to help me find you, she knows this forest like her own backyard and..." she said but then she noticed how shaken Snips was.
"You saw...them ...didn't you?" Apple Bloom asked mysteriously.
"Them?" asked Snips. "you mean crazy zombie ponies!? Yes, I saw them!"
Apple Bloom looked thoughtful "So...it wasn't a dream after all" she said and then her expression was that of fear.
Snips had had enough at that moment tough "zap apple! I need a zap apple, and I need it quick!" he said.
"Umm..." said the supposed "monster" who was named Fluttershy "I know where you can get that." she whispered in fear.
"Where!?" said Snips.
"In the Everfree forest?" Fluttershy said carefully.
"Oh no! I am not going back there, ever again and I mean never, ever again!" Snips said, his voice shaking.
"I can get it for you...if thats fine with you..." Fluttershy said.
"No! I am not letting you go there, or anypony else!" Snips said. "This place is pure evil! Fence it! Burn it! Seal it in a permanent force field!"
"..but my animals live in there.." Fluttershy said sadly.
"Live? Live in there?! Nothing lives in there! There is nothing in there, only death! There is no life in the void!!" Snips rambled on, Apple Bloom understood and she knocked him out cold with an, you guessed it, apple to the head.
"Apple Bloom! What did you do?" Fluttershy gasped.
"Trust me Fluttershy, this is the only way. Now let's take him to the hospital." Apple Bloom said.
Snips woke up in a bed of white sheets...sweet! He couldn't even remember what sleeping in a real bed felt like! Apple Bloom was there, and so was Fluttershy. Then he remembered what had happened "Whats going on?! Where are the monsters?" he said.
"Monsters?" said Apple Bloom "You uhh...you just passed out at the farm and we brought you here" Apple Bloom smiled innocently, Fluttershy shuffeled her hooves nervously and smiled as well.
"Wait...it was a dream?" Snips said.
"Yes!" said Apple Bloom "Just a dream, all the monsters, all of it."
"But...I didn't even tell you what the dream was?" said Snips in desbelief.
Apple Bloom's eyes narrowed "or did you?! Dun dun duuun!" she said while making the dramatic sound effect.
"No, I didn't" Snips simply said.
"Yes you did, Fluttershy hoof him over his saddlebags and lets go." Apple Bloom said nervously.
Fluttershy tip hoofed over and quickly gave Snips his saddlebags, then she left with Apple bloom. The saddlebags felt quite heavy it seemed, so Snips took a peek inside, only to be blinded with rainbow colored light.
It was a zap apple!
"To be continued in:
Next floor: The future"
Snips in Time
Wednesday afternoon
It had been quite the journey for Snips, first he had met with the crazy pink party pony and survived, then he stole a book from Twilight's library, met with future celeberties, done slave work at Applejack's farm, flew around with self levitation, hoofboarded across the town, talked with the mysterious Princess Luna, ran away from zombie ponies in The Everfree forest and made Ditzy the captain of The Wonderbolts and saved Rainbow Dash's future and so on and so on.
Needless to say, the time lines were probably quite different from before and this made him afraid. The zap apple was in his saddlebag, the time machine was fuelled up and the time had come to finally leave.
Unlucky for him tough, he was running once again. Outside the hospital waiting for him was no other than Twilight Sparkle herself!
"Come back Timey! I just want to talk with you!" Twilight yelled after him.
Snips ran even faster, enough with destroying times rightful course!
Once again Ponyvillians were met with the sight of the marathon stallion and once again he was being chased by something, they yelled after him and instinctivly Snips turned around to look only to trip over his own hooves and fall over.
Twilight caught up with Snips quickly, she stood next to the stallion lying awkwardly on the ground.
"You got me! Whaddya want?" he said annoyed.
"Timey!...you...finally..." Twilight panted while Snips stood back up.
"I just wanted to say..." Twilight sighed and wrapped her hooves around Snips "That I...I think I love you"
NO! This was definately bad! Worse than bad, terrible! This could not be happening!
"No you don't!" said Snips while he backed away in panic "You don't love me cause...you forgot one thing!"
"Whats that?" Twilight asked still sporting a sly smile on her face.
"WHAT THE HAY IS THAT!?" Snips said and pointed behind Twilight.
She turned around in confusion and saw nothing only to turn back to Snips to see him running off again.
He ran until he was out of town and there, on a patch of grass outside of town Twilight saw a mysterious metallic box, the doors opened with a *DING* and the stallion ran inside much to the confusion of the unicorn. "Well, he cant escape from there" she thought.
Snips went into the time machine Twilight still after him, using his magic and a stick he punched in the right numbers in panic. "Whats going on?" said the computers AI.
"Causing relationships in the past, very bad for the future, must escape, no time to explain." Snips huffed, opened the fuel compartment and inside went the zap apple and the scarf.
With a burst of electricity and rainbow smoke the machine sprung to life, The numbers on the floor counter spinned, the time cauges spun around wildly, rainbow colored steam rose from the fog machines and the screen on the tea dispenser informed that it was almost out of tea.
Outside Twilight saw the metallic box spinning around wildly, rainbow colored lightning bolts were flying everywhere and the grass around the box singed.
Then the box stopped for a moment until it blasted off into the sky with a *BOOM* and faded into nothingness. The blast knocked Twilight over and she stared in awe at the empty spot where Timey and his metallic box had once been.
Monday morning
Snips stood up from the floor and wiped some sweat off his brow.
"Did we make it?" he said shruddering.
He did not wait for an answer but instead opened the doors with a *DING*
"Well!" said the brown stallion outside "10 minutes right on the clock! I'd say the time machine works then!"
It was nopony else then Time Turned or The Doc himself! "Doc!" Snips said and gave the brown stallion a hug.
"Huh? You're acting like we haven't seen each other for a long time?" said Time Turner confused.
Snips broke out of the hug "Its been a while" he said.
"A while? You just went ten minutes in the future as we planned! See?" Time Turner said and pointed at his hoof clock "Just ten minutes since you left."
"Just ten minutes!?" Snips asked confused. Then he realized that to Time Turner, he had actually been gone for only ten minutes!
"...right...ten minutes." Snips said sighing.
"Is everything all right?" asked The Doc raising his eyebrow.
Snips looked around him at The Canterlot park, there on the side of a building hung a huge picture of Rainbow Dash and the words "The Prismaticbolts" were written underneath it.
Snips smiled "Oh yeah, everything is great." he said.
"You didn't touch the heart shaped button did you?" The Doc suddenly asked.
"What? No...what does that button do by the way?" asked Snips.
"We...we'll leave that for the future." The Doc said nervously.
Snips looked around him once more, everything seemed to be normal save for the picture of RD "Nothing has changed here then?" he said.
"Changed? Why? You think that ten minutes of time travel can change something? Silly Snips." The Doc said laughing.
"Good...very good." sighed Snips.
"Now, off you go to The Canterlot university then, the lesson on human anatomy by professor Lyra Heartstrings should begin in fifteen minutes and you should be there, wouldn't want to get scolded by arch mage Trixie again would you?" Time Turner said.
"...what?" said Snips.
"Also dont forget to get some food when you get back, sweet apple acres apples I guess...since they dominated the markets there isn't much else to buy..."
"huh?" said Snips.
"And Did I tell you that Ditzy Doo, The captain of the Wonderbolts will be visiting us today? Better put on your fanciest suit." said The Doc.
"Seriously?" Snips said.
"On that note, can I get my scarf back? I would like to wear it during Princess Twilight Sparkle parade." asked The Doc.
Snips sat down on the cold snow and sighed, then he turned around and looked longinly into the horizon, opened his mouth and poured out the greatest desire in his heart:
"...I'm getting some pizza."
The End
Snips in time
Monday morning
The room was filled with a cacophony of ticking, all over the walls hung clocks from the four corners of the world, golden clocks, wooden clocks, jelly clocks and clocks made of unspeakable things like dried up ketchup.
Anyone trotting in could tell that this house belonged to Time Turner: That crazy time obsessed stallion, who some other ponies had given the nickname: "Doctor Whooves".
Then somepony did trot in when the lock on the door clicked and opened. A grayish opal unicorn stallion with orange hair stepped inside.
"Hey Doc! You in here?"
It was Snips, who many in Ponyville remembered as a short stubby colt with a funny voice. In the past ten years he had grown out to be a fine young stallion. A tall fellow with a clean row of white teeth (that would make Colgate proud) completed with a spiky mane that said "Dude! lets do something wild!" and a stylish red scarf that was a part of the "Rarity" brand stallions wear, he had previously borrowed it from Time Turner for a job interview.
Yes, one could say that Snips was quite handsome and completely unrecognizable by those who had last seen him ten years ago (it was like that feeling when you meet that fat girl in your school ten years later and she turns out to be a total hottie) only his cutie mark and weird eyebrows remained as proof that this was indeed the same stubby colt from Ponyville.
"I brought some pizza!" he called.
No answer.
Time Turner, or Doctor Whooves, or The Doctor, or whatever he was called on that day, seemed to be absent much to the annoyment of the unicorn.
He dropped the boxes containing the cheesy treats on the table and trotted inside.
"Hey Doc! You mind if I use your experimental, advanced, sound system?"
No answer.
Perfect.
Snips punched in the newest DJ-Pon3 that he had in his "radical" saddlebags and set the volume as high as possible.
He stood there, hoof above the play button, shaking in anticipation.
"Oh man...this is gonna be so rad!"
He clicked the play button and...
*WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB*
One would later say that the amount of wub heard that day broke all the existing wub scales and was the talk of every living thing within a one thousand mile radius from the source.
Snips however had almost fainted yet being the irresponsible young stallion that he was, all he could say was:
"Dude...that was just...whoaaa!"
Fantastic, and, of course, all the clocks in the house lay in ruin. While Snips looked at the clock carnage thinking "Well...I'm bucked." the phone rang. He picked it up with his unicorn magic and listened.
"Judging by the amount of wub I just heard I'm pretty sure you're in my house Snips." said the voice of a very familiar brown stallion.
"Yeah Doc uh...there was a short circuit...thing? Of some kind..." Snips answered.
"Oh I bet! Everypony knows that every time something short circuits it makes the sound of a Vinyl Scratch song!" was the angry reply.
"Yes...its pretty weird, huh Doc?" Snips chuckled.
He attempted at fixing a wooden clock from Neighzerland but the whole thing just crumbled to dust with a distinctive sound.
"Uhh...there goes my Neighzerlandish clock..." the phone sighed.
"No, no! The clocks are fine! Everything with the clocks is just...fine, how are your clocks?" Snips said.
"Good!" grumbled Time Turner "Look, at the moment I don't care, I need you to do some testing in Canterlot park right now! Bring some apples and a drinking straw!" The Doc said and hung up before Snips could ask any stupid questions.
Time Turner didn't care if his clocks got busted? Snips knew immediately that this was big, no, huge! Whatever Time Turner had cooked up had to be something out of this world!
He trotted outside to the cold streets of winter time Canterlot and summoned a simple teleportation spell. With a flash of light he picked up some apples, a drinking straw and appeared in Canterlot park.
"Hey Doc! I brought the..."
Snips was interrupted however when The Doc just grabbed the apples and straws and fed them to a silver colored metal box sitting in the middle of the park.
Snips stared in awe at the apparatus.
"Is that...is that an elevator cab?" he asked.
"Why yes! Yes it is! I built an elevator!" answered Time Turner while he scurried around the cab.
"You built an elevator...in the middle of Canterlot park?" asked Snips dumbfounded. Then he asked something stupid just to annoy Time Turner "You know its missing the elevator shaft right?"
The Doc wrapped his hoof around Snips' shoulders and spoke to him like he was talking to an idiot who thought butterflies were actually made of butter "Oh Snips my old friend, the only elevator shaft this cab has is..." Time Turner waited for dramatic pause "...Is time itself!"
Snips was not that surprised, he had seen craziness like this from him before.
"Okay...you built an elevator cab in the middle of Canterlot park and you think it travels through time?" Snips said.
"Exactly!" said The Doc "A lift takes you up to the different floors of a building right?"
Snips nodded slowly.
"All I did was create a lift that goes through the different floors of time! Here let me show you."
Before Snips could point out how utterly ridiculous the concept of a time travelling elevator was, The Doc punched the button on the elevator cab.
*DING!* chimed the elevator.
Snips looked at The Doc and rolled his eyes.
"What? It is a lift after all!"
The doors rolled open revealing the interior that was filled with wires, bunch of weird apparatuses Snips could not recognize, a screen from the local Sparkle Technology store and a keypad with numbers.
"This is the time lift!" proclaimed The Doc "You type in the year, or the time floor as I like to say, you want to go to here and the direction, past or the future, here. This is the emergency button and that's the tea dispenser." he said while showing off the different features of the dashboard.
Then he walked over to his saddlebags and picked up something that pulsated with electricity and rainbows. He walked over to the fuel compartment and carefully dropped the thing inside. (and by carefully we mean he threw the thing in like he was making cup cakes.)
The "time machine" sprung to life and streams of rainbow colored smoke poured from the depths of the fuel tank.
"What the hay was that Doc?" Snips asked.
"That..." said the Doc "Is the zap apple I need to create the 1.21 wingpower rainboom that makes time travel possible." he said matter o factly.
"Wait, wait, wait!" said Snips "You telling me that this sucker...is zap apple juiced?"
Time turner slammed the compartment shut with a grin "Righto! now, all I need you to do is jump in and travel ten minutes into the future!"
Snips was pretty confused by all of this yet it was not the first time Time Turner had attempted at building a time machine. This time would, no doubt, be no different from the last times since all those times the time machine had done nothing to travel through time with time related machines that it had at the time...of time.
"Sure! See ya in ten minutes!" he said and hopped in for the amusement of The Doc, fully aware that this would, no doubt, be yet another bust. Let me make it clear to you: he had absolutely no doubts of any kind.
Snips scanned his eyes over the dashboard where everything was written in the good old language of talking magical ponies. Number ten was already typed in by Time Turner.
"All you have to do is press "minutes" and "future" he heard the muffled voice outside the box say."Easy" he thought and reached out to press the buttons.
Now there's one funny thing you should know about ponies, one thing that Snips forgot at that moment: Ponies don't have fingers.
Now, when he reached out to press the buttons all he managed to do was slam his hoof on the dashboard pressing every single button simultaneously.
The elevator jerked downwards and Snips flew off the floor. Needless to say, he did not like the feeling of floating yet he did like the sweet elevator music that sounded off from the speakers.
The numbers on the floor counter spinned, the time cauges spun around wildly, rainbow colored steam rose from the fog machines and the screen on the tea dispenser informed that it was ready to dispense tea at any given time.
Poor Snips was flailing around the air when he heard a loud *BOOM* and then, without warning, everything just stopped resulting in Snips slamming on the floor when gravity was restored.
"Jeez that hurts." he tought while picking himself up. He stumbled on to the door and opened it with a *DING*.
"Hey Doc..." he said " I don't think tha..."but whatever he was going to say was cut short by the sight he saw. Outside the cab was summer, Canterlot was looming in the far distance and in the horizon there lay a very familiar looking town, that same town he had moved away from nine years ago, weirdest of all, it still had that same town house which had been demolished, also over nine years ago.
It was Ponyville, the town of Snips' childhood exactly the same as it had been all those years ago. Snips rubbed his eyes, looked and rubbed his eyes again.
"It cant be" he thought.
"But it frickin is...!"
Then he turned around and looked at the steaming metal box sitting on the grass, there was a number on the top of the cab, a number where the floor number should have been, it was a nice ten years in the past, then it all clicked. The time machine was real, he was there, past Ponyville right before his eyes.
"Whoa Doc..." he said, "this is heavy..."
He rushed back inside the time machine in panic, no way was he going to live his crappy childhood again!
"OK, calm down , you've got a time machine, you can just go back and...have some pizza!" he thought while he frantically looked around for the manual.
When the manual was nowhere to be seen he pressed randomly at buttons.
"This is the emergency button right?"
*BEEP*
A cup fell down and filled with some hot liquid and sugar.
After a particiluary comfortable tea session Snips punched the obviously big red emergency button.
"Snips!" the computer crackered in a female voice.
Snips was startled and he jumped, nearly pouring the tea all over his face.
"Is that an AI voice of a hot babe?" he asked.
"That is correct." said the computer. "I am Sparkle 2000 of the Sparkle Technology artificial intelligence creation program. Time Turner the stallion is my master and you are Snips, my masters assistant for the past five years. The master I have does not know me in this time stream... analyzing...I have concluded that you are now my master."
Snips rubbed his head in confusion "Uhh...ok so what can you do to help me?"
"Oh!" said the computer "I'll do anything for my master" she said "and I do mean anything...master."
Snips took a step back, these Sparkle AI's were always given too much freedom. Snips had heard rumors that their creator wasn't fond of enslaving anything capable of intelligent thought always stating that "friendship is magic" even if that friendship was between you and a computer. "Aww jeez...you're not gonna go all wild AI on me are you?"
"Oh master... I would never do such a thing...unless of course you'd want me to"
"What are you gonna do? Kiss me with wires?" Snips said jokingly.
"Time Turner has seen to that, do you see that heart shaped button?" said the computer.
Snips looked around.
"All right, I see it."
"Press it"
"What does it do?" said Snips.
"It opens..." the computer said "...the secret compartment" it whispered.
"You can keep your secret compartment!" Snips said while he scrambled away as far as possible from the button."Look, computer, what I need to do is get back to the future!"
"Oh just call me Sparkle, master."
"The future. Now!" said Snips in a serious tone.
"Sparkle" gave up and answered in its usual computer voice: "To get back to the future you will need to fuel up the time machine. You'll have to find different basic fuel source items like apples and drinking straws and toss them into the fuel compartment." said Sparkle.
"The items don't happen to be in the time machine?" said Snips fully aware that he might have to revisit the town of his childhood.
"No, but I have located the nearest town of Ponyville which has the needed items."
"Great!" said Snips.
Then he stood there waiting for answers but the computer said nothing.
"So...what are the items?"
"I'll tell you..."The computer answered."but only If you press the love button!" Snips couldn't believe it! The AI was going rogue!
"No! I'm so not pressing anything" he said.
"Well, good luck finding the items then!" the computer huffed.
"What! Are you kidding me?!"
"The love button, press it."
"I'm like your master right? I command you to tell me!" Said Snips.
The computer said nothing.
"Cmon...Sparkle" Snips said in a pleading tone. Apparently he pulled the right wires since the computer answered.
"Fine!" said the computer "but I'll only tell you one item at a time."
"What! Horsefeathers!"
"Horsefeathers?" asked the Sparkle confused "What you'll need first is the Equestrian dictionary: 700 words of pony language explained by Ink Spots the unicorn." the computer said.
Great, the first item in the list had to be some rare book. Snips went through his childhood memories and remembered that there was a library somewhere in town back when he was still a colt. It was run by some nerdy mare or something, totally uncool.
"I think I know where to find that!" he said confidently.
"One more thing" said the computer "You can not mess with the time here. Do not interact with your past self, don't do anything that could change the timeline and most importantly nopony here must find out who you are or where you're from!" The computer was being dead serious.
"Let me guess...the space time continuum and collapsing have something to do with this?" asked Snips.
"Something along those lines." said the computer.
"How am I supposed to go anywhere then? The ponies here know me! Well not me but the past me, who is me but not me and...uhh..." Snips took a little break and collected himself "We have the same cutie mark!"
A hose fell from the ceiling and, without warning, it sprayed grayish opal dye on Snips' flanks, he yelped but the cutie marks were hidden.
"I like it when you scream like a girl" the computer laughed.
"I did that girlish scream on purpose, thank you very much" said Snips confidently.
"Sure."
"What about the rest of me? I still look a lot like, well, me!"
"No worries! We have a disguise kit in the time machine just for that!" the computer said happily.
"Where is it?" Snips asked hopefully.
"Just press the love butto..."
"Thats it, I'm leaving."
To be continued in:
Time paradoxes and pink party ponies
