Then Everyone was an Alicorn

Chapters

This is Alicorn Country
Alicornville
Diary of a Princess
But I'm Normal!
Suspicious Closets and Broken Eardrums
Intermission: Discord
Terms and Conditions
Diary of a Princess, pt.2
Wizard
Intermission: Derpy
Ominous Warnings
Meeting
Intermission: Blueblood
Intermission: Chrysalis
Intermission: Vinyl and Octavia
Intermission: The Pie Sisters
Intermission: Doctor Whooves
Intermission: Garble
Back to Normal
Intermission: Cutie Mark Crusaders
Intermission: Colgate
Intermission: Iron Will
Alternate Ending- Problem Solved

This is Alicorn Country

Then Everyone Was Alicorns

A fanfiction by Cluelessbrony

Based on this comic by AniRichie-Art: http://anirichie-art.deviantart.com/art/COM-The-Experiment-337968684

Celestia's sun was shining bright in the sky. The birds in the trees were chirping, and a certain purple unicorn was pacing in her basement. Her goggles hung from her neck, swinging up and down with each movement of her body. Her dragon assistant, Spike, was sitting on a stool in the corner of the room, watching her with weary eyes.

"I'm sorry, what did you say you were doing again?" asked the dragon.

Twilight stopped her pacing and whirled around to glare at Spike. "I just told you, Spike! I'm about to perform the most groundbreaking spell in the history of Equestria, and you've already forgotten what I told you?"

Spike lowered his eyes to the ground. "Sorry..." he muttered.

Twilight sighed. "I'll explain it to you one more time. I found a book in a small hidden compartment in the library-"

"You just found a hidden compartment you've never noticed before?"

Twilight rubbed her chin. "Hm, that does seem pretty strange... I'll have to look into that later. Anyway! The book was written by Star Swirl the Bearded! Star Swirl claims to have discovered a spell that could turn you into an Alicorn, just like the princesses!"

"So, you're going to use this spell to turn yourself into an Alicorn? Isn't that blasphemy or something?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to stay that way," she told her assistant. "I'm just going to stay an Alicorn for a day to see what it's like and how it affects my magic, and then I'll turn myself right back. I won't even leave the house, nopony will ever know!"

Spike could think of multiple things that could go wrong, but decided to keep his mouth shut. If Twilight wanted to take the risk of performing this probably dangerous spell, he wouldn't try to stop her. The dragon got up off his stool and started walking upstairs.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Twilight. "Aren't you going to stay and watch me revolutionize magic forever?"

Spike shook his head. "I'm going to Rarity's. I don't feel like blowing up today."

Twilight placed the spellbook on the pedestal she had placed in the middle of the room. Earlier, she had cleared out all the other equipment from the basement. It was completely bare except for the pedestal, the book, and the lavender unicorn wearing the lab coat and goggles.

When the spell had specifically warned her to wear protective eye wear, she was confused and a little worried as to why such a thing would be needed. Being Twilight, she had opted to follow the instructions word-for-word.

She opened the spellbook to the page with the instructions. Complex magical formulas were scrawled all over the page. To any other pony, it would have looked like gibberish, but Twilight could read it. She was Princess Celestia's personal student, after all. She reached for her magic and formed it, casting the spell that would transform her into an Alicorn.

A ball of energy started to form in front of her face. She couldn't quite pin down what colour it was. One moment it would look blue, but then it would look red, or green, or purple. The strange part was that she couldn't tell when it was changing, if at all. It was as though the ball was all the colours at once...

Twilight gasped as pressure started to build up in her forehead. Beads of sweat started to form on her head, and her magic started to falter. Not now, Twilight thought, the spell is almost complete!

Twilight focused her magic. Slowly, she began to regain control of the spell. Almost... Almost...

All of Twilight's efforts were in vain. She lost control of her magic, and the ball of shimmering energy burst with a loud bang, knocking the pedestal and Twilight onto the ground. Twilight slowly started to drift into unconsciousness.

I guess this is why the book said to wear safety goggles..., Twilight thought, closing her eyes as everything went black.

Meanwhile, Sweet Apple Acres

Applejack tensed her muscles in preparation. Before her stood her foe, a large tree, with dozens of bright, shiny red apples hanging from the branches. The blonde mare sprang into action, intent on obtaining the bright red bounty from the tree. Her hind hooves impacted the trunk of the tree, causing the branches to shake and quiver. The apples fell from the tree and into some conveniently placed baskets.

Applejack smiled. Her last tree for the day, harvested. Applejack took off her hat, using it as a fan to cool herself, then placed it back onto her head to protect herself from the sweltering sun. The mare started trotting back to the farmhouse her and her family lived in.

Applejack stopped. The apples in the branches of her precious trees were shaking. "What in tarnation...?"

The ground started to shake underneath Applejack's hooves. Panicking, she galloped to her farmhouse, intent on finding somewhere safe from the earthquake.

Applejack suddenly stopped, looking for the first time in the direction of Ponyville. A purple shockwave was spreading through the town, originating from the library. "Ah should'a guessed this had somethin' ta do with Twilight..."

Applejack calmed down a little. Nothing Twilight would do would be dangerous. The mare continued to walk towards the farmhouse, but was stopped when something strong hit her in the back, sending her flying forward, knocking her unconscious.

Rainbow Dash performed another loop in the air. She was practising her aerial manoeuvres, as usual, in an attempt to make herself great enough to join the Wonderbolts.

Rainbow performed a barrel roll, smiling at the feeling of the wind on her face. One day, the Wonderbolts would be begging her to join, and when that day came, she wanted to be ready.

The wind suddenly changed direction, startling Rainbow into screwing up her concentration. The azure mare landed on a cloud, complaining. "Oh, come on! I scheduled northward wind today!" she shouted.

Her eyes trailed off towards Ponyville and widened in shock. A purple shockwave was blasting through the town, launching everypony it touched forward.

Rainbow Dash gasped, jumping off the cloud and zooming toward town.

Alicornville

Then Everyone Was an Alicorn

A fanfiction by Cluelessbrony

Based on this comic by AniRichie-Art: http://anirichie-art.deviantart.com/art/COM-The-Experiment-337968684

Rainbow Dash zoomed into town, leaving a rainbow contrail in her wake. The prismatic mare dashed through the streets-

And promptly got hit by the shockwave. Her wings locked, and she fell to the ground, landing with a thud. Rainbow grunted in pain and tried to stand up. Upon lifting herself off the ground, blood rushed to her head and she started to feel woozy. The mare promptly lost consciousness and fell back to the ground.

Twilight's basement

Twilight stood up, feeling sore all over her body. She was covered in soot and dust, residue of the explosion she had caused. Her lab coat was stained black. "I can't see! I'm blind!" Twilight exclaimed. She took off her goggles and threw them to the ground. They were covered in black soot, making them impossible to see through. "Oh..."

Twilight racked her brain, trying to remember what she was doing down in the basement in the first place. The mare noticed the now soot-covered spellbook and instantly remembered.

"The spell! Did it work?!"

Twilight started to check her body. She rubbed her sides, searching for Alicorn wings. All she found was her smooth coat, no abnormal appendages. Dang, she thought, that's disappointing...

The bookish unicorn decided to pack up her stuff and try again tomorrow. Walking over to the blackened spellbook, she activated her magic and tried to lift it. Nothing.

Twilight started to panic and slowly reached her hoof up to her forehead. Closer...

Closer...

Her hoof collided with her forehead. No horn.

Her horn was gone.

Applejack woke up with a groan. "What the hay happened...?" asked the orange mare. She tried to stand up, but fell over.

"Huh?"

She tried standing again, meeting the same results. She was confused. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't seem to keep her balance. The mare glanced at her legs. Nothing seemed to be wrong. But on closer inspection...

Applejack gasped. Her legs had grown a considerable amount in length in the time she was unconscious. She lifted up her leg and examined it. It was longer, yes, but it was also considerably thinner. It reminded her of somepony, but she couldn't quite place her hoof on it.

Applejack started to hyperventilate. What had happened to her? It must be Twilight who did this!, she thought. But why?

She decided to check her body for any more changes. She ran her hooves over her body, checking for oddities.

Head- Check

Neck- Check

Wings- Check

Wait...

Applejack felt her sides again. Sure enough, two feathery wings were lying flat on her sides.

No way..., she thought, Twilight turned me into a pegasus!

Applejack smiled. If Twilight could change her back later, this could be an interesting day. She had always wondered why Rainbow Dash loved flying so much, maybe now she could finally find out. Maybe Rainbow could teach her a few tricks. Rainbow would probably try to teach her her entire knowledge of pegasus history, because if there was one thing Rainbow Dash was, it was proud. She'd want to take her to Cloudsdale. She would work her flank off trying to get her to learn all of Rainbow's tricks...

Applejack started to hyperventilate. Rainbow was her friend, but there was no way she could spend that much time with her. Applejack had a farm to run, she can't spend all day goofing off in the sky! Taking deep breaths, Applejack calmed herself. She would just have to go to Twilight's library without being seen by Rainbow. Twilight would turn her back to normal, and Rainbow would never have to know. Simple!

Applejack jumped up. In her haste, she had completely forgotten about her lack of balance. She only made it a few steps before her long legs got tangled up, causing her to fall down. Her head smacked into a tree.

"Oof!"

The orange pony rubbed her now-throbbing head. Now that she remembered her lack of mobility, her plan started to seem less and less feasible.

Applejack tried to stand up. To her surprise, she couldn't. It felt like a weight pulling down on her forehead every time she tried to get her face off the tree. She kept tugging, but to no avail. She lifted one of her hooves to see what the big deal was. Rubbing the tree, she felt what must have been a branch, coming out of the tree, and attaching to... her forehead?

Wait a second...

This ain't no branch.

Rainbow Dash slowly regained consciousness. Where am I?, she thought. She wearily got to her hooves, muttering curses under her breath. "I'm gonna' kill Twi when I get my hooves on her..."

Rainbow Dash spread her wings, intent on flying to the library. She could see the library across the street, and prepared herself. She flapped her wings, not noticing that they had grown a considerable amount. Her oversized wings launched her into the air with much more force than she intended. She crossed the distance to the library and smacked face first into the oversized tree. "Ow..."

"Mah new horn got stuck in a tree!"

"What's the deal, I can barely fly anymore!"

"All my animal friends are scared of me now..."

Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie had immediately gone to see Twilight after dealing with their newly acquired parts, hoping their magically inclined friend would be able to help them. Well, all except two of them.

"Hey Twilight hey hey Twilight look at me I have wings and a horn I look like a princess wait does that mean I have magic now I could use magic to throw more parties I could have a magic party!"

Pinkie was ecstatic at her new transformation. Now she could spend time with Rainbow Dash in the sky, practice magic with Twilight, and generally have lots of fun with all her friends!

Twilight sighed as Pinkie rambled on about magic parties. She turned to Rarity. "You've been quiet," she commented, "How do you feel about all this?"

Rarity smiled at her friends. "Well," she started, "I don't see why you three are complaining. This look is simply fabulous! These wings are gorgeous! I look just like a princess!", she said, finishing with a small squee.

Applejack stepped up. "Er, Twi, I couldn't help but notice, uh..." she pointed to her horn. "Yeh seem to be missin' a little somethin'. How are yah gonna' change us back?" she asked.

Twilight looked at the ground and sighed. "I... I don't know. I think we're going to have to go to the princesses..." she said gloomily. "I'm so sorr-"

Twilight was interrupted by Pinkie Pie, who was leaning up against the window and looking outside. "Hey, girls, can we throw an Alicorn party for all the others?" she asked. When her friends looked at her with questioning faces, she clarified. "Look outside!"

The five others did just that. "Oh no...", Twilight muttered.

Outside the window, a crowd of multicoloured Alicorns had congregated outside the library, with varying looks of sadness and joy on their faces.

Diary of a Princess

Princess Luna's diary

Dear Diary,

Today has not been a very good day. Sister had been holed up in her room all day long, signing papers and ruling the kingdom. I wish she would spend some more time with me! She's been neglecting me ever since I returned. I asked again for her to let me help with the kingdom so that the work would be done quicker, but she refused. In all honesty, I don't think she trusts me. I'm her sister, she should trust me with all her heart! But no, I try to take over the world and stop the sun from rising forever one time and suddenly it's all "Oh, I don't know if it would be a good idea for you to help."

So here I am, writing in my diary all alone again, when I could be spending time with my sister. When I first came back, she had spent so much time with me for the first few weeks. I remember one time, she had been teaching me a new spell she had made during my banishment. I had failed so spectacularly! My entire bedroom had turned green. Everything! It took a week to return everything to normal. I've since magic-proofed my bedroom, because I don't want anything like that happening again. No magic could get in or out of these walls!

I have a new-

Wait, what was that? It sounds like there's a commotion outside my bedroom door. I must go for now to investigate, I shall continue writing in you once I return.

*The writing returns here, but is very messy, nearly illegible, as though the writer was under a great deal of stress*

Oh diary, you will not believe the things I have just seen! Upon exiting my bedroom, I see my night guards. But no, they are not as I remember them, they have changed. They have grown wings and a horn! I fear my dreams are coming true, and no matter how much I enjoy thinking of this at night, something is definitely wrong with the sight. I have looked out of my window, and seen the citizens of Canterlot. All of them have wings, all of them have horns!

This is bad news. Who knows how much mischief these ponies could get into with the powers of an Alicorn! I must see sister at once. I hope she'll know what to do...

Luna ran through the marble hallways of the castle, weaving and dodging through excited Alicorn nobles and servants. A familiar white Alicorn with a flowing blonde mane stepped into her path, blocking her. "Auntie Luna, look at me!" exclaimed Blueblood. "Isn't this new look marvellous? My horn is so long, and I can do so much with my magic!"

Luna screeched. She would be willing to talk with any other pony, but an excited Blueblood was not something she wanted to deal with. Blueblood prattled on, seemingly unaware of Luna's anguish.

"It's such a shame the commoners all have this look as well, though, isn't it? I kept telling Auntie Celestia we should segregate them so we wouldn't have to dirty our hooves dealing with them, but she refused to listen to reason. What are they good for, anyway? Well, it's too late to get rid of them now, I suppose."

Luna tried getting past Blueblood, but his outstretched wings blocked her path. "Look at my gorgeous wings! Aren't they fantastic?" he gloated.

Luna growled. Everypony else may be an Alicorn now, but she was still princess of the night. The dark mare gathered up energy in her horn and shaped it into a teleportation spell. She released it and felt the familiar tug of teleportation pulling on her. She had always likened it to getting pulled backwards in a giant slingshot, and getting fired towards the space she wanted.

She reappeared behind the boastful prince and continued her mad dash towards her sister's quarters. "Auntie, you didn't even look at all the new tricks I've learned! Auntie, come back!"

Luna took a right. He sister's room was in her sight now, getting closer by the second. Nopony else was in this hallway, and she had a clear path towards it. She skidded to a stop and banged her front hooves on the door. "Sister! Sister, let me in!" she cried. There was no response, but Luna could sense her sister was in their. Being immortal goddesses had its perks, one of them being a special connection with her sister.

She banged her hooves on the door again. "Sister, please, this is important!" she shouted. A muffled response from behind the door told her that her sister had heard her.

"Go away!" came the response from behind the door.

Luna stood there, mouth agape. Did her sister not realize what was going on? "Celly, it's an emergency! You need to let me in!" she shouted, pounding on the door for emphasis.

"No! You can't see me like this!"

Luna glared at nothing in particular. The nerve of Celestia, not even coming out of her room to deal with what could possibly be a national emergency! She prepared her magic and focused on the door. If there was one thing she had learned from a lifetime of mischief and fun at night, it was how to pick a lock.

The door opened with a click. Luna kicked it open. What she saw on the other side of the door shocked her to her very core.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

But I'm Normal!

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The scream echoed throughout the halls of Canterlot castle. The ponies in the hallways all looked up at the same time, startled by the sudden noise. Shrugging it off, the ponies of Canterlot continued to babble on to their friends about how great it was being an Alicorn.

Back at Celestia's quarters, a frightened princess of the sun desperately tried covering herself with blankets. "Luna! Don't barge into my room! Get out, get out, get out!" she cried from underneath her cloak of blankets.

Luna didn't know what to say to her. The sight before her was so horrible, so terrifying, so unnatural that she felt like she wanted to throw up.

Celestia was an Earth Pony.

Suppressing the urge to hurl, the dark mare stuttered out a question. "W-What happened to y-you?" she asked, horrified. Her sister got out from underneath her fort of blankets and glared at Luna.

"You happened!" she shouted. "You did this to me! Give me back my wings! My horn! How could you make me normal? Do you know what you've done to the kingdom, Luna?"

Luna tried and failed to hold in her anger. She had had nothing to do with this! Now her sister, who she had been trying so hard to connect with, who she had loved with all her heart, was blaming all of this on her?!

"What about the sun, Luna? We can't lower the sun!"

Oh. She had forgotten about that. I suppose that is a problem, she thought. She needed to prove her innocence before this got out of hoof. "Sister," she started, "If I had a spell that could take away your wings, your horn even, don't you think I would have used it against you all those years ago as Nightmare Moon?"

Celestia looked conflicted. "I... I don't..."

"Furthermore," she continued, "If you would just glance outside, you would notice that you are not the only one affected by... Whatever happened to do this to you." She pointed towards the window.

"You mean, everypony else has lost their horns? Their wings?" she asked, tentatively walking towards the window. Luna looked at the ground.

"Er, not exactly..."

For the second time that day, a high pitched scream was heard emanating from Canterlot Castle.

The crowd of ponies outside the library was steadily growing larger. Twilight gulped, unsure of how to deal with the situation. She couldn't just reverse the spell, she didn't have her horn anymore!

Think, Twilight... Who out there is as good as or better than me at magic?

A light bulb appeared above the mare's head. She swatted it away, sending it flying into a wall and smashing into small, glittering shards of glass. "SPPIIKKEE!", she shouted, "I need you to take a letter! Oh, and can you clean up that glass?"

Twilight looked towards the kitchen, waiting for the familiar purple dragon to step foot into the library. After a few moments, a purple appendage did cross the threshold, but not one they were expecting.

"Uh, Twi, I don't think your spell only affected ponies..."

Spike the Alicorn walked into the room, looking sheepish. The mares in the room looked on with shocked looks adorning their faces. Rarity blushed.

"Er, I can fix this!", shouted Twilight. "Spike! Take a letter!" she said, holding out a piece of parchment and a quill.

"Um... How?" Spike waggled a hoof in front of Twilight's face. "I don't exactly have hands anymore, y'know..."

"Uhh..." Twilight looked around the room. Her face lit up when she spotted Rarity. "Rarity! You're used to using magic! Can you take a letter?" she asked.

"How come you ask her, but you order me?"

"Be quiet, Spike."

Rarity smiled. "Of course I'll help you, dear." she said, accepting the offered parchment. Twilight cleared her throat and began to dictate.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

There has been a terrible, (or according to some ponies, wonderful) accident here in Ponyville..."

Luna and Celestia sat on the elder sister's bed. The night princess was rubbing the back of her now much smaller sister, whispering comforting words into her ear. "It'll be alright..." she said. "We'll find a way to fix this..."

Celestia sniffled, tears running out of her eyes. "B-but what i-if we c-can't?" she asked. "T-the s-sun will be s-stuck in the s-sky forever!"

Luna continued to rub her sister's back, unsure of what to say. A knock was heard on the window. Surprised, both mares looked towards the window and saw a grey Alicorn hovering there, mailbag wrapped hanging from her hooves, eyes facing different directions. "Letter for one Princess Celestia!" she called.

"Er... come in?"

The mailmare opened up the window and flew in, landing on front of the bed, seemingly oblivious to the crying princess. She dug into her mailbag and withdrew a rolled up piece of parchment, tossing it to Celestia and flying out the window again.

Celestia unrolled the scroll and read it aloud.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

There has been a terrible, (or according to some ponies, wonderful) accident here in Ponyville. After a spell gone wrong, (Which was totally not my fault, by the way), everypony in town appears to have been turned into... Alicorns. I'm sending this letter through the mail because apparently, every sapient creature in Ponyville has been affected, and this includes Spike.

Due to an...unfortunate side effect of the spell, I have been left incapable of reversing the spell. Please, Princess, come here and reverse the spell! I anxiously await your reply.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle"

New tears started to form in Celestia's eyes.

"What am I supposed to do about this!?!"

Suspicious Closets and Broken Eardrums

This story has made it into the featured box! I'm so proud! Thanks to everyone who reads this story, you're all great people for liking it!

The train ride to Canterlot took much less time than it usually did. Now that the train pulling ponies were at least double their previous height, it wasn't too difficult to spot the reason why.

It was the day after Twilight had sent her letter to the Princess via Derpy Mail. She had received the Princess's reply the morning after, thanks to her inconvenient lack of baby dragon. The letter had stated that Canterlot was affected by the spell to, and possibly the whole world. The whole world! Twilight had a hard time wrapping her head around that. How could her spell have affected such a wide area?

The train slowed to a stop in Canterlot. The trains station here was much more lavish than the one in Ponyville, with tall columns stone arches. Fancily dressed Alicorns were going about their business, doing whatever it is Alicorns did all day.

The six mares and former baby dragon trotted out of the station. Alicorns stopped to stare at Twilight, as though the possibility of somepony being an Earth pony was completely foreign to them. It's only been one day..., Twilight thought.

The familiar architecture of Canterlot helped put Twilight at ease. She had grown up here, learned magic here. They passed by several familiar landmarks, each one making her feel slightly better.

The Princess's reply had said very little, containing only a few sentences. I will be busy attending to some business that may be even more important than this Alicorn business. Please meet my sister in the palace, she will help you.

The mares arrived at the castle. When they came here before, the twisting spires of the castle seemed to pierce the heavens, standing as an awe-inspiring symbol of the Princess's power. Now, the spires didn't seem so intimidating.

Two Alicorn guards were standing on either side of the castle gates. Usually, the guards would be stony faced and serious, but now they were visibly trying to hold back smiles. Twilight could tell they were happy being Alicorns. She started to wonder if it was really that big a problem.

As they walked through the castle courtyard, she immediately changed her mind as the assembled Alicorn nobles looked down at her. They were frowning, and obviously didn't approve of her hornless, wingless presence. Twilight blushed and trotted ahead, into one of the smaller, abandoned corridors.

Her friends caught up with her, apparently having noticed what had made Twilight run out. "It's only been one day!" she growled. "They should show me some respect! I'm the one who turned them into what they are!"

"Dear, don't you worry about what they think," comforted Rarity. "They always think they're better than everypony else. Remember the Gala?" Twilight nodded. The Gala was not something she was going to forget any time soon.

Rarity used her magic to remove a large-brimmed hat from her saddlebags. "Here you go, dear," she said, placing the hat on Twilight's head. "This will hide the fact that you don't have a horn." She pulled out a dark purple dress, decorated with a star pattern. "This will hide your lack of wings!"

Everypony stared at Rarity. "Um, Rarity, why are ya' carryin' a dress Twilight's size around in yer' bags?" Applejack asked. Rarity rolled her eyes.

"In case of a dress emergency!" she answered, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Applejack rolled her eyes as Twilight put on the dress.

"Thanks, Rarity." she said. "Are we all set? Let's go see the Princess!"

Luna nervously paced around the throne room, not sure how to handle the situation. Twilight and her friends were due any second. How should she greet them, formally or casually? They did save her from herself, not to mention helping her on Nightmare Night. She decided to be casual.

A closet had been placed beside the throne, sticking out like a sore hoof. The mares would probably question what it was doing there, but she hoped not. She really hadn't thought of a way to explain that.

Her sister was currently hiding in the closet, waiting to hear the meeting that was about to take place. She had insisted on being hidden, as she hadn't wanted anypony else to see her as she was.

But Luna was nervous for more reasons than just social anxiety. She honestly didn't know how to fix this. She'd never even heard of a spell to turn regular ponies into Alicorns! Celestia probably knew, but that was irrelevant now.

One of the guards flanking either side of the doors cleared his throat. "The Elements of Harmony are here, Princess." he stated, voice echoing and reverberating through the large room. She covered her ears and cringed.

No need to shout, she thought. "Let them in!" she said. Luna made a mental note to cast a sound muffling spell over the throne room next chance she got.

The large doors of the throne room swung open, allowing entrance to the Elements of Harmony. Luna looked curiously at Twilight. She was wearing a large brimmed hat and a beautiful purple dress. Was she supposed to have dressed up for this occasion? Had she already messed up? Luna calmed down upon noticing that the others weren't dressed up either.

But something looked wrong with Twilight. She wasn't as tall as the others. In her letter, she stated that she was unable to perform the spell to fix everything...

Oh.

The closet was dark and smelled like sweat. Celestia had salvaged it from the servant's quarters, and did not want to think about what went on in here to get it smelling that way. She shifted in the small, cramped space, trying to get a comfortable position. Strange. I wouldn't even have been able to fit in here yesterday, Celestia thought.

The princess of the sun heard the doors to the throne room open, and the sound of hooves striking the floor as her protegé and her friends trotted in.

After a moment, she could hear Luna speak up. "'Sup, Elements of Harmony! How art thou today?"

Celestia facehooved. Luna must have decided to go with the casual greeting. Her sister continued. "There has been a terrible accident! But, you knew that already, of course..." She blushed, her social anxiety getting the better of her. "But, um, I am not blaming you or anything... Um...

Celestia something shift underneath her. Uh oh, she thought. I probably should have emptied this out first...

"What's that closet doing there?" she heard Twilight ask. The items she was sitting on shifted again, threatening to fall over.

"Don't open it!" shouted Luna.

Very smooth, Luna.

Something underneath her moved again. She lost her balance, tumbling through the door and spilling out onto the floor.

Twilight jumped up in surprise. Her hat flew off her head with the sudden movement.

Celestia noticed her student's missing horn.

Twilight recognized the Earth pony in front of her as her princess.

Luna saw what was about to happen, and covered her ears with her hooves. She regretted not casting the sound muffling spell.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Somewhere far away, a pony with a window cutie mark opened a fortune cookie. You will come into a vast sum of money in your near future, it said.

Intermission: Discord

Discord sat in his stone prison, waiting. Waiting for chaos. Waiting for strife, waiting for disorder. Even a small skirmish would do.

The princesses had moved him to an unpopular part of the garden. Many ponies wondered why they didn't just lock him up in a vault, away from everypony else, away from the possibility of freedom. It's probably my devilishly handsome face, he thought.

Discord sighed. Mentally, of course, seeing as his mouth was encased in stone. Nopony ever walked by his statue anymore! It was depressing, standing still for all eternity, not even having anything to watch. Not to mention that strange flux of magic he felt yesterday, the one he couldn't even go investigate.

He heard a commotion coming from his right. "I'm telling you, Windy, this is too good to be true! We'll all turn back to normal soon, I'm sure of it."

Discord heard a second pony sigh. "Why can't you just accept that we're like this now? Everypony else is happy, why do you have to be so... different than everypony else?"

The second pony sounded like a mare. Discord would have smiled. This was a perfect chance for him to get enough chaos to free himself!

"Well, maybe I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life! I want everything to go back to normal!" the first pony said.

"This is a good thing! Ugh, why did I even marry you?!"

Discord could feel his stone prison start to crack. Soon, he would be free to cause as much chaos as he wanted!

"Oh, so you regret marrying me now?"

"I didn't say that!"

"But you meant it!"

"Well, maybe I did!"

He heard the sound of hoofsteps stomping away angrily. Another crack appeared in the stone, this time on his lion's paw. He flexed his paw. The stone cracked even more. Flakes of it started falling to the ground. With a massive heave, his entire right arm was free.

He used his right arm to break down the weakened stone that covered the rest of his body. A hit here, a whack there, and the stone was crumbling around him. "I'm free...", he said. "I'm free! Muahahahaha!" He burst into a fit of coughs. "Oh, I need to work on my evil laugh.... I am so out of practice..."

Discord snapped his claw and teleported away. He re-appeared at his desired location, the middle of Canterlot Castle. He narrowed his eyes, looking at all the ponies standing around in the room. "Now, little ponies, I am free again! Now you lives will be turned upside down with all my beautiful chaos! I'll... I'll..."

Discord trailed off as he noticed something wrong with the ponies. Had they gotten taller since he had last seen them? Why had they all turned into unicorns, and where'd they get the wings?

Wait...

The group of Alicorns turned to face the avatar of chaos, horns glowing. "Oh, crud..." mumbled Discord. He teleported back to the garden and got back on his stone altar. "I'll try again later..." he mumbled to himself.

With a snap of his claw, he was once again encased in his stone prison.

Terms and Conditions

"Well shucks, after all that screamin', you must be feelin' a little hoarse!"

Rarity smacked Applejack. "Never let me catch you saying that ever again," she threatened. "Just because almost everything in the world is a pun doesn't mean you have to stoop so low."

"Yes, m'am..."

"Twilight, what happened to you?" Celestia asked, wide-eyed.The look on Twilight's face mirrored the one on her princess's.

"What happened to me? What happened to you?"

Celestia frowned. "Your spell did this, but that's easy to understand. What happened to your horn?"

Twilight gulped. She was hoping to avoid having this conversation. Casting a spell that made your own horn disappear? It was incredibly embarrassing. "Well, I, er..." she sighed. "It disappeared when I cast the spell..."

"Hey, I think we have more important things to talk about right now!" said Rainbow Dash. "Like how we're going to turn everypony back to normal! I don't know about all of you, but for me, this is so not cool!"

Celestia nodded. "Right, right..." she said. "So far, Luna seems like our best bet at fixing everything." Everypony turned to look at Luna.

"Well, um, I do not know if I can perform the spell to turn everypony back..." she stated, a nervous sweat appearing on her forehead.

"Well, I'm sure you can learn it, Luna." Celestia encouraged. "You're fairly good at magic. You'll pick it up in no time."

Luna was about to open her mouth to respond, but stopped herself. This was the perfect opportunity to spend more time with her sister! A smile appeared on her face as she hatched her diabolical plan.

"There is one condition."

Everypony in the room looked at Luna in shock. "Luna, you're one of the Princesses of Equestria! There can be no conditions, this is your duty!" Celestia exclaimed.

"I said, there is one condition."

Celestia turned and addressed Twilight and her friends. "Can you please leave me with my sister? I would like to speak with her in private." she said.

Twilight nodded and left the room, her friends following. "Luna, this is your duty! You can't put a condition on it!" she shouted as soon as the doors were closed. "Do you have any idea how important this is? We can't even lower the sun until we fix everything!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "There's no need to worry so much, Celestia. Nopony has even noticed that the sun hasn't moved, and it's already been a day!"

She walked up to her sister. Celestia glared. "What is this condition of yours, sister?" she asked. Luna opened her mouth to reply, but Celestia interrupted. "If you say anything pertaining to eternal night, I swear to me I'll banish you again."

"I was going to say that I want you to spend more time with me," said Luna.

"I spend plenty of time with you!" said Celestia.

"No, you don't!" said Luna, "Whenever I ask to spend time with you you always say you're too busy, that running a kingdom is hard work!"

"It is hard work! I don't have time to waste!"

"Oh, so spending time with your sister is a waste?"

"I never said that!"

So the two immortal goddesses continued to fight like little schoolfillies.

Rarity wandered throughout the halls of Canterlot castle. They weren't needed to solve the problem at hoof, so she and her friends had decided to visit the sights in Canterlot. Pinkie and Rainbow went to visit Donut Joe's, Fluttershy went to see all the animals in the garden, and Applejack went out searching for the nearest farm. Rarity wondered how long it would take, seeing as there were no farms in Canterlot.

Rarity stopped to eye a tapestry hanging on the wall. It depicted a white unicorn slaying a massive dragon with nothing but his bare hooves.

"I see you've noticed the tapestry of my great grandfather" a voice behind her said.

Rarity turned to discover the identity of the voice. A white-coated Alicorn with a flowing blonde mane was standing behind her, a smug look on his face. The look on his face shouted "I'm better than you and I know it."

Blueblood.

Rarity frowned. "Your great grandfather?" she asked, feigning polite conversation. It was obvious the Prince didn't recognize her, and she didn't want to bring up his rudeness at the gala just yet.

Blueblood nodded. "Well, my great-great-great grandfather, actually. Hundreds of years ago, he slayed a mighty dragon that threatened to destroy Canterlot single-hoofed. After witnessing his act of bravery, the Princess gave him the title of Prince, and our family has been noble ever since."

Rarity doubted that had actually happened, and made a mental note to ask the princess about it later. "Was he a brave knight and a gentlepony?" she asked.

"Why, of course. The Blueblood family was famous for being brave yet kind," he answered.

"I wonder what happened to that" Rarity said.

"What? The Bluebloods are-"

Blueblood's sentence was cut off by a hoof connecting with his face. "You are the exact opposite of a gentlepony!" Rarity said. "You're lucky a hoof to the face is all you get!"

Rarity walked away, leaving a confused and hurting Blueblood behind her.

This hoof is getting a lot of action today.

Diary of a Princess, pt.2

Princess Luna's Diary

Dear Diary,

Today, 'Tia agreed to spend more time with me, and all it took was me promising to learn the spell to fix our problem! Once I'm done with that, we'll spend so much time together! I'm looking forward to it. 'Tia says she'll teach me about all the things I missed while on the moon. Did you know there is a machine that can make toast? I didn't! I remember when we needed to hold bread over a fire to make toast! Oops, I'm rambling...

The spell shouldn't be too hard to learn. It's only an advanced level spell. One that only two other ponies could ever perform, them being Starswirl the Bearded and Twilight Sparkle... Only the two most magically gifted ponies to ever walk the face of Equestria...

Oh, who am I kidding? I can't learn this spell, it is too difficult! I don't have the heart to tell 'Tia, so I suppose I will just have to try my best, and hope she isn't mad at me. Maybe I can find another pony who can perform the spell?

Oh, I'll be right back. Somepony is knocking on my door.

I'm back, and in much lower moods. I opened the door to find that a messenger pony was on the other side, holding a big basket of fruit tied up with a ribbon. There was a note in it, and upon reading the note, my spirits was squashed like an insect on the underside of a pony's hoof. It was from Twilight Sparkle and her friends. I will not relate the entire note to you, but in short, it said that they, and everypony in Equestria, are counting on me. I feel like I could just lock my door and cry for days, I'm so overwhelmed.

Dear Diary,

It's been another day since the incident, and nopony seems to have noticed that the sun is staying still in the sky. Are the ponies of Equestria really so unobservant? If it were the moon in the sky, they would notice in a heartbeat. They'd probably form a mob outside the castle, waving around pitchforks and torches. Have I mentioned that actually happened to me once? But that's a story for another time.

I've made no headway learning the spell, but my spirits have risen somewhat, as I may have found a mare who will be capable of performing the spell. Well, I haven't found her yet, but I've learned of her. Her name is The Great and Powerful Trixie, and if she's telling the truth, then she is just the wizard we need! Her ad in the newspaper claims that she has vanquished the dreaded Ursa Major! Somepony with that skill must be able to perform the necessary spell!

Oh, I can hear 'Tia calling for me now. I'll write some more in you tomorrow, Diary.

Dear Diary,

I have made no headway in learning the spell, yet have made plenty of headway in locating the Great and Powerful Trixie! She was last sighted travelling from Manehattan to Trottingham. This was a day ago, she must still be on the road! I have sent a few night guards to locate her and deliver a message.

I have discovered a new food today, one that was invented during my absence. It's called pizza, and it is wonderful!...

*The rest of the excerpt is the day to day ramblings of the princess.*

Trixie's Diary

Dear Diary,

Today has been very good to Trixie! You will not believe what happened today! After performing her most successful magic act ever, Trixie was stopped on the road by a Royal Guard! Trixie knows what you are thinking, and no, she did not get arrested. The Guard was bearing a message from none other than Princess Luna! Obviously, the princesses realize Trixie's talents as a magician! Let Trixie tell you, being the most powerful pony in all off Equestria is much more difficult now that everypony is an Alicorn.

The letter stated that the Princess wants Trixie to travel to Canterlot at once to help her with an urgent assignment! Trixie is excited to get started! There is no wonder as to why the princess chose me, as Trixie is the most talented pony in all of the kingdom! Perhaps the princess shall make Trixie royal magician! Is that a thing, royal magician...?

No matter, Trixie is so powerful, they will make the role just for her to fill it!

Wizard

Trixie walked into the polished halls of Canterlot Castle, head held high. This was where she was meant to be, not some hick town where nopony can appreciate her true magical talents The high society and rich lifestyle of Canterlot drew her in, making her feel at home and welcome. Many ponies would fear it, but not Trixie. Trixie lived in the limelight. She had no doubt that she was accepted and loved in the rich city.

She ignored all the snooty ponies looking at her choice of garb and moved on. There was nothing wrong with her hat and cape.

Trixie looked around. The letter hadn't told her where to go once she reached Canterlot. She spotted a royal guard in his distinctive gold armour and walked up to him, clearing her throat. "The Great and Powerful Trixie orders you to tell her where she can find Princess Luna!", she said in her most awe-inspiring voice. It was lost on the guard, however. To him it was just much louder than regular speaking.

"Listen, lady, you can't just get an audience with the princess. You need to have an invitation or a petition."

Trixie grinned and whisked the letter from the princess out of her bag. "Will this do?, she asked. The guard took the letter in his magic and looked over it.

"Fine," he grumbled, flaring his wings in irritation. "Right this way."

Trixie followed the agitated guard through the hallway. She could tell he wasn't taking his job seriously. She wondered if he was new, or if his sudden transformation into an Alicorn made him not care. Trixie pushed the thought to the back of her head. It wasn't a thought about her, and therefore had no room in her head.

As she trotted through the halls behind the guard, she looked around at the lavishly decorated walls. Busts of famous ponies, portraits, murals, and tapestries were places throughout the hallway, giving it a rich feel. Of course, that was to be expected when one was in a palace.

The guard led her to a pair of large doors, flanked on either side by more guards. "This mare has an invitation from the princess", he said. The two guards nodded and used their magic to open the door. Unlike the one who had led her through the halls, they seemed to take their jobs more seriously.

Trixie trotted into the room, leaving her escort behind. The room appeared to be a sitting room, and was decorated with plenty of cool colours, ranging from purple to a dark blue. Plush seats were positioned all throughout the room, inviting Trixie to sit on them. A number of glass doors lined the far wall, opening up to a spacious balcony. A telescope was placed there, currently focused on the moon.

"I see you've made it. I was beginning to fear you hadn't got my message."

Trixie jumped up and whirled around in fright. Sometime during her investigation of the room, the princess of the night had entered. "When did you get there?", Trixie asked, panting.

The princess winked. "I'm the princess of the night. I can be pretty sneaky when I want to.", she answered. Luna trotted towards a plush armchair and sat down. "Please, take a seat.", she offered, gesturing to the chair opposite her. Trixie did as she was told and sat down.

The princess used her magic to open up a cabinet on the other side of the room, levitating out a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Would you like some?", she asked. Trixie nodded. Luna poured two glasses and gave one to Trixie.

"So, do you know why I sent for you?", she asked.

Trixie shook her head. "All Trixie knows is what you said in the letter.", she answered. The princess smiled.

"Before we start speaking of business, I think we should get to know each other more.", the princess said. Trixie blinked in confusion.

"Why would you want to know about Trixie?", she asked. "Surely you, the princess, has better things to speak about than Trixie!"

"Well, you seem like a kind, talented mare. I'm sure you have a lot of interesting stories to tell. I would love to learn all about you!"

Trixie cocked her brow in confusion. Is she hitting on Trixie?, she thought. Well, of course she is! Trixie is the most talented, beautiful mare in Equestria! Of course the princess would like a piece of her!

"Well, there is the one time Trixie banished the Wind Demon of Hoofshire..."

Author's note-

Luna isn't hitting on Trixie. Trixie just thinks everything is about her. Luna is trying to see if Trixie is suitable for the task she needs her for.

Don't worry, no shipping.

Intermission: Derpy

Derpy woke up with a smile. Today was going to be another good day! Ever since she had turned into an Alicorn, her motor skills and hoof-eye coordination had been improving! Things had been going great for her lately.

She rolled out of bed and trotted to the bathroom. The mirror in her washroom beckoned to her. She stared at her reflection, noticing all the features of her now unfamiliar body. She supposed it wasn't too bad. After brushing her teeth with some sore joint cream, (the tube of cream looked a lot like the tube of toothpaste!), she walked downstairs for breakfast. Maybe she had something sweet to get rid of the taste of relief cream out of her mouth.

After munching on a muffin, she grabbed her mailbag and left her door, only to immediately return. "Sorry Spot, I almost forgot to feed you!", she shouted. She flew into the kitchen, grabbing her dog's bowl just in time for the animal in question to come running around the corner. The small, black and white spotted pup panted happily. Derpy smiled and started to fill the bowl up from a large brown bag.

Derpy heard a door close behind her. She turned around and spotted her roommate, Carrot Top, looking at her with a disapproving glare. "Derpy, I don't think dogs are supposed to eat whole, unwashed potatoes.", she said, gesturing to the bag Derpy was emptying. The grey mare looked at it.

"Oh.", she muttered, putting the potatoes back in the bag and placing the bag back in the cupboard. She grabbed the dog food and started to feed Spot again. "I didn't notice that was potatoes. But in all fairness, I think it's chocolate you're thinking of that dogs can't eat.", she said.

Carrot Top rolled her eyes. "Either way, let's stick with the dog chow.", she muttered.

After feeding the dog and waving goodbye to Carrot Top, Derpy made her way back outside. The sun was shining bright. Now that she thought about it, hadn't the sun been shining brightly for a while now? Oh well, she thought. I'm sure the princess has a good reason.

Derpy took flight and made her way to the post office, waving to every pony she saw. "Hi Lyra!", she called out, waving to the mint mare in question. Lyra rolled her eyes and gave a half-hearted wave back. Derpy smiled. Everypony was so friendly! Life was good.

She made it to the post office and opened the door. "Well, time to get to work!"

I just wanted an excuse to write this joke-

I had to change it from razor blades to potatoes because Derpy wouldn't feed a dog razors.

Also, I gave Derpy a dog for the sake of this joke.

Ominous Warnings

"Then, Trixie cast the Amniomorphic spell, banishing the demon to the deepest pits of Tartarus!"

Luna clapped her hooves together. "Tell another story!", she shouted, nearing the volume of her Royal Canterlot Voice. Trixie grinned. This was going off without a hitch! If the princess had a crush on her, her social ranking would skyrocket! Ponies hundreds of miles away would travel to Canterlot to watch her magic shows! Yup, this was definitely an opportunity for Trixie.

Trixie started to tell the tale of the time she had fought a pride of manticores with nothing but her magic and her wits. Of course, it never actually happened, but the princess didn't need to know that.

Just then, a knock was heard from the door. Trixie and the princess looked over. "Come in!", called the princess of the night. The door swung open, revealing a messenger who obviously wasn't taking his job very seriously. Was everypony nowadays slacking off in their jobs now that they all had better things to do?

"I have a letter for you,", he said, tossing the letter to the princess. He didn't stick around to see her look of disbelief at his lack of manners. The princess regained her composure and opened the letter.

Dear Luna,

I'm sorry, but I won't be able to come and help you learn the spell today. Delegates from Saddle Arabia have finally made their was here. They must be confused as to why they suddenly grew wings and horns! Can you manage on your own today?

Love,

Celestia

She wouldn't be able to come today? But she already came today, Luna thought. She glanced over at the clock. She had been speaking with Trixie all night, and the hour hand was pointing firmly at the eight.

"Well, Trixie, I think it's time to get down to business.", she stated. The azure Alicorn across from her nodded. Using her magic, Luna lifted a spellbook from across the room and floated it over towards Trixie.

Trixie looked down at the book. It was old, incredibly so, and the pages were yellowing. The cover was made of leather, and Trixie didn't even want to think about where that leather must have been acquired. Using her magic, she opened up the book. Complex spells and notes were jotted all over the pages, giving the book a well used look.

Luna pointed at the book. "There is a bookmark in it, open up to the marked page.". Trixie did as she was told. The page in question was covered in the most complex spell she had ever seen. Trixie doesn't know if even she can do this!

"I won't even bother asking you if you've noticed anything different with eveypony,", she said, "but I will ask you this- Have you noticed that the sun hasn't fallen for days now?"

Trixie looked outside. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember the last time she saw the stars shining in the sky. Was it a side effect of whatever happened to change everypony? She voiced her question to the princess, who only lowered her head and sighed.

"You could say that. Everypony turned into an Alicorn like me and my sister as a result of a spell. The spell originated in Ponyville and travelled outward, affecting the whole world. Now, I won't tell you who cast the spell-"

"Was it Sparkle?"

Luna was silent for a moment. "Yes. It was Sparkle."

Trixie nodded. "That explains why everypony is an Alicorn now. Tell Trixie why the sun hasn't lowered."

As Luna relayed the tale of what had happened the last few days, Trixie started to grow more and more uneasy. She could tell where this was going, and she didn't like it. Not one bit. She didn't even care if the princess had a crush on her anymore, she just wanted to get out of here before the princess asked her the inevitable question.

"...and that's why I need you to turn everypony back to normal."

There it was. The question. She didn't want to turn everypony back to normal, she was happy the way she was! Everypony was happy! She voiced her opinion.

"Tell me this, Trixie-", the princess said. "Will everypony still be happy when all the crops burn and we starve? When all the water evaporates? When all the ice from the Crystal Empire melts and floods the coastline?". The princess leaned towards Trixie.

"Will they all be happy when they're all dead?"

Meeting

Trixie walked grumpily through the halls of Canterlot Castle. "Oh, why did Trixie even agree to helping her?" she moaned. "This sucks! Trixie doesn't want to go back to normal!"

She sighed. She had just gained all these new powers, she didn't want to give them up already. The azure mare had just learned how to fly, she wanted to experience a Wonderbolts show in Cloudsdale! She wanted to have a tour of the weather factory, she wanted to soar through the air...

She was so preoccupied in her moping around that she wasn't paying attention to where she was headed. Her head impacted with something soft and fleshy, knocking her on to her flank.

"Ow ow ow!" she said, rubbing her horn.

"Eep!"

Trixie looked up towards the source of the noise. Standing before her was a purple pony wearing a dress and wide-brimmed hat, rubbing her flank. Trixie's horn had poked her.

"You should watch where you're standing! Ponies like Trixie could hurt themselves!"

The hatted mare looked up at Trixie. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed. She started to turn around, but did a double take. "Trixie? What are you doing here?"

Trixie eyes the mare in suspicion. "How do you know Trixie's name? Are you following her? Trixie appreciates fans, but going so far as to stalk her seems a tad much, don't you think?"

The purple mare rolled her eyes. "Trixie, it's me, Twilight. From Ponyville."

Trixie raised a brow. "Trixie doesn't know anypony by the name of Twilight," she said. The hatted mare growled and muttered something under her breath. "Trixie didn't catch that. Stop wasting her time!" she snapped.

"Apparently, you can't even bother to remember my first name. It's me, Sparkle."

Trixie went wide-eyed. "Ohh!" she exclaimed. "Sparkle! Trixie heard that this is all your fault and you may have accidentally doomed Equestria to death! Nice one!"

Twilight looked at the ground and kicked a hoof, embarrassed. "Yeah..."

"Well, good job on that one, Sparkle! Did you know that you failed so spectacularly that the princess called me to Canterlot for the sole purpose of fixing your mistake?"

This was new information to Twilight. "R-really?" she stuttered. Trixie nodded, and the purple mare sighed. "Great, I failed something so hard they had to get an amateur to fix my mistakes..."

Trixie glared. "Trixie is not an amateur!" she screamed. "She will prove it to you! I challenge you to a magic duel!"

"I would love to take you up on your offer, Trixie, but... I can't right now. I'm... busy."

Trixie scoffed. "There is always time for The Great and Powerful Trixie! Prepare yourself, Sparkle!"

"I-I just can't right now!"

Trixie glared. "You will duel Trixie right now!" she shouted. Using her magic, she lifted Twilight into the air and shook her, hoping to snap her into her senses. Surely, nopony in their right mind would decline the chance to spend any amount of time with Trixie, even if they were going to get their flank kicked in a duel. The vigorous motions of the shaking caused Twilight's hat to fly off her head, revealing her missing horn. Trixie gasped.

"Sparkle! Trixie doesn't wish to alarm you, but... Oh, whatever. Sparkle, somepony stole your horn."

Twilight glared. "You think I don't know that? Please Trixie, just leave me alone." Trixie rolled her eyes.

"Fine. But for future reference, you are no fun at all."

Trixie collapsed on the bed Luna had graciously offered her. She was still disappointed that she would have to give up her new wings, but her mood had been lifted by her chance meeting with Sparkle. To think, Sparkle had lost her own horn! It was laughable, the way fate turned out. Maybe, when this was all over, the Princess would banish Sparkle, and take Trixie on as her student? Trixie smiled. That would be great. The mare used her magic to lift the bed sheets and snuggled in.

Tomorrow, she would get to work learning that spell.

Intermission: Blueblood

Blueblood sighed as he sank deeper into his bubble-filled bath. His day had been tough, and he had earned this. That mare who he had never met before had insulted him, and even worse, she had slapped him! He was a prince, princes don't get slapped! He had half a mind to find out who she was and ask auntie Celestia to let him execute her. That would show her!

All this revenge plotting was making Blueblood thirsty. Picking up a bell with his magic, he shook it a few times, producing a clear sound. The bell was used for summoning his servants, and sure enough, the sound of hooves started to come from down the hall. The door opened up, revealing a white-coated servant with a brown mane. Her cutie mark was a feather duster.

"Yes, Prince Blueblood?" she inquired. Blueblood motioned with his hoof to a glass that was standing on a nearby counter. This servant is not worth wasting my precious energy speaking to, he thought. The servant nodded and picked up the glass in her chestnut-coloured aura of magic. It wobbled a bit, a nervous look appearing on her face. That's right, wasn't she an Earth Pony before?

The glass stopped wobbling, and the mare wiped her brow. After taking a quick bow, she trotted out and left to refill his drink. Took her long enough. He had been counting her time in his head, and she had gained a whole two seconds on her serving time. Heads would roll for this.

The servant returned a few minutes later, holding a glass of iced tea in her magic. She placed it on the counter, giving Blueblood a small bow and turning around. "Ah ah ah," Blueblood said, "You can't leave just yet. Does it have a straw?"

The mare nodded. "Yes, prince Blueblood."

"Two ice cubes?"

"Yes, prince Blueblood."

"Does it have any lemon in it?"

"Um... no, prince Blueblood."

Blueblood scoffed. "What?! No lemon?! Bring it back, fix it!" he shouted.

The mare looked afraid. "Y-yes, prince Blueblood! Right away, prince Blueblood!" she stuttered out. She picked up the glass and scurried out of the room.

"The nerve of some ponies! What type of barbarian drinks iced tea without lemon?! Do I look like a peasant?"

Blueblood picked up a rubber ducky that was floating around in his bathtub. Using his magic, he flung it at the door, expecting it to bounce off. However, everything did not go according to plan as the door open, revealing the servant walking in with the glass of iced tea in her magic. The bath toy collided with her face, causing her to lose control of her magic. The glass fell from her grip, but was caught by Blueblood's golden yellow aura.

"For the record, I'm not sorry. Also, you dropped my drink, and are fired."

The mare burst into tears. "Please, sir, I need this job! I have a foal, I can't afford to be unemployed!" she cried, desperately trying to get her job back. "I only just learned magic! I'm sorry I dropped it, it won't happen again!"

Blueblood rolled his eyes. Typical. Everypony he fired always whined for their job back. He had heard plenty of "but I have a foal!"s, and plenty of "Please, I need this job to pay for my mother's medication!"s. A pony had once offered him a emu in exchange for a maid's position. What would he even do with an emu, anyway?

But Blueblood was feeling compassionate today. "Fine, you may keep your job. But expect double shifts and a pay cut."

Well, compassionate for Blueblood's standards, anyway.

"Thank you, sir! I won't let you down!" the servant exclaimed. Blueblood nodded his head, waving her away with a hoof. He took a sip of his iced tea. He spit it out immediately, however.

"Hold up!" he shouted just as the mare turned to leave. "You didn't replace the ice cubes! I can't drink lukewarm iced tea! It's not called warmed tea, is it? No! Replace it! Do it again!" He threw the glass at the maid, who just nodded and ran back down to the kitchen. "Imbecile," he muttered.

After a few minutes, she came back up with a fresh glass, looking annoyed and gritting her teeth. "Here you go, prince Blueblood. I hope everything is to your liking," she spat out.

Blueblood just took the glass and lifted it to his lips. He took a sip with a thoughtful look on his face. "Hmm... I'm not sure what it is, but it doesn't taste like it should. Fix whatever it is. Chop chop! What's your name, anyway? I need to know your name if I want to fire you, after all."

"My name is Feather Duster! Not servant, not peasant, and definitely not stupid filly! Go ahead and fire me, I'm sick of this stupid job anyway! I've had enough of you!"

Blueblood glared and gritted his teeth. "How dare you talk to me that way! I am your superior, you're not allowed to address me as that!"

Feather Duster just glared back. Suddenly, a smile spread across her face, and she lifted up a hoof. "What are you do-"

Feather Duster proceeded to knock Blueblood unconscious.

Blueblood wearily opened his eyes. "Ugh, my head..." he muttered. He looked around. He appeared to be in his walk-in closet. He also appeared to be hanging upside down from the ceiling. With duct tape. The prince let out a scream.

"Help me!" he shouted.

The light flicked on, revealing Feather Duster and the rest of his maids, servants, and helpers, all grinning wildly. "Hello, princey!" Feather said.

"Get me down from here!" demanded Blueblood.

"Sorry sir," she said, "but I did tell you I wouldn't let you down!"

With that, the helpers filed out of the closet, turned off the light, and closed the door.

Intermission: Chrysalis

Nothing has changed in the changeling lands because Chrysalis and all other changelings are already just little Alicorns.

The end.

Hey people, it's me, the author. If you want to see an intermission with a certain character, now is the time to suggest it. The story's reaching its end, and once it's done, no more intermissions! Last chance, folks. Suggest in the comments below.

Intermission: Vinyl and Octavia

"Turn that music down!"

"What?"

"I said, turn that music down!"

"I still can't hear you!"

Octavia growled. She had walked into her apartment to find her clueless room-mate was playing music way beyond the acceptable level. Vinyl had cranked the volume all the way up to eleven, just to frustrate Octavia. The stereo system didn't even have an eleventh setting, but Vinyl had used her magic to create one just for the purpose of getting on Octavia's nerves.

Octavia used her regrettably still amateur magic to unplug the stereo system, but to no effect. The system continued to blast out music. She'd be the first to admit, Vinyl had some creative uses for her newly enhanced magic skills. She still wanted some peace and quiet, though.

Octavia ran up to the sound system and lowered her head. She may not be very good at magic, but any fool could use her horn for what she was about to do.

A jolt of electricity ran up her horn as it impaled the stereo. Her mane stood up on end, and she could smell smoke. Oh well, she thought, at least there's some peace and quiet.

The silence was shattered as the remains of the stereo system exploded.

Octavia was sitting in the doctor's office, rubbing her ears. "Well, miss Philharmonica, it looks like just a little bit of ear damage. Nothing serious. However, you will have a ringing in your ears for the next few days."

"Huh?"

HAHA IT'S FUNNY 'CAUSE IN THE END SHE HAS TO HEAR LOUD NOISE ANYWAY.

Intermission: The Pie Sisters

Blinkie Pie swung a pick axe in her magic, breaking apart a rock. Inside shone a glittering gem, which she pocketed. Rock farming was rewarding work. It was made even easier by their new-found ability to use magic. "How are you doing, Inky?" she asked.

Her sister, Inky Pie, looked up. "Very good. Thank you for asking."

Then the day continued on as normal because Pinkie Pie's family is boring.

I only wrote this because someone asked for it in the comments. Don't hate me. Seriously, how am I supposed to work with such boring characters?

Intermission: Doctor Whooves

Doctor Whooves leaned against the door, fumbling with the sonic screwdriver in his mouth. "'Ow does 'is fing even work?" he mumbled, trying to find the setting that locks doors. After a moment, he found it and locked the angry Dalek that was following him outside. He sighed in relief.

"Exterminate! Exterminate!" the Dalek behind the door said.

Doctor Whooves wiped his brow with a forearm. This was harder than he thought it would be. You see, he hadn't been Doctor Whooves for very long. Just a few short days ago, he had been Sepia Tock, the Ponyville clock-maker.

Everypony in town had always believed he was some sort of gallivanting adventurer called 'The Doctor'. This was absurd, of course- he was just Sepia Tock. Sadly, though, nopony believed him when he said so. He would be stopped on the street, asked about his latest adventure. He was getting sick of it.

Eventually, he had realized that nopony would ever believe him when he said he wasn't the Doctor. So, when he had gained the powers of an Alicorn, he thought it would be a good idea to become the Doctor.

He was wrong.

It had only been a few days since he had used his magic to pop a sonic screwdriver and a TARDIS into existence, and he had already had twelve near-death experiences. First, he was shot at by a Cyber-Mare, then, he had almost been burned to death by a Pyrovile! He rubbed the sore spot on his side where the burn was still healing. Maybe he should go home?

He could see the shadow of a Dalek coming around the corner in front of him. It must have stopped trying to open the door and gone around! He made up his mind. He would go home.

After he stopped the Daleks from invading Equestria.

Intermission: Garble

(For those who don't know, Garble is the name of the red teenage dragon from Dragon Quest.)

"Ah! We're pansy ponies!"

Garble and his group of delinquents ran around in a blind panic, occasionally slamming into each other. One of them lifted a gem up to his mouth and tried to take a bite, breaking his teeth in the process. "We can't even eat gems!" he shouted. "We'll starve!"

One of the dragons let out a loud burp. "Our burps are pansy pony burps! There isn't even any fire!"

"Ah! My arm! It's burning! I didn't know lava hurt this much!"

When they all calmed down, they invented a sport that involved jousting with your horn, kicking a ball around, and throwing others into a pit of lava. They called it murderball and it was widely acclaimed as the most amazing sport in the history of sports.

Back to Normal

"I can't do it!"

Trixie had been trying for hours to even start to understand the spell, but to no avail. It was just ridiculous! She was even starting to believe the pony who created it just wrote a bunch of random words and number on a page and called it magic. "This is ridiculous! Nopony can learn this spell!" she complained.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Twilight Sparkle did it." she said.

Trixie glared. "Sparkle..." she muttered menacingly.

A knock was heard on the door. "Come in!" Luna called. The door swung open, revealing her sister and Twilight.

"Hello Princess, we just came to check up on you and your new... student." Twilight greeted. She cast a suspicious glance at Trixie, who returned the favour.

"Sparkle..." the mare muttered again, confusing Twilight.

"Luna, you did not tell me you would be getting somepony else to learn the spell." Celestia stated. "I don't think outsourcing is a very good idea."

"You're not my real mother! You can't tell me what to do!"

Twilight scratched the back of her head. "She's not your mother at all. Right?" she said, unsure. "Hey, who are your parents, anyway?"

Celestia looked at her student. "That's a question you don't ask, Twilight. For that, you go to the dungeon." Two guards trotted up to Twilight and grabbed her, dragging her along.

"What?! Why?! Please, no!" she screamed.

"Trixie, you can be my new protege." Celestia said, smiling at Trixie. Trixie raised her hoof into the air.

"Yes!"

Luna growled and glared at Celestia. "Hey! She's my student! You can't have her!" she said. Celestia just rolled her eyes.

"I can do whatever I want, I'm a princess."

"So am I!"

"Hmm..." Celestia hummed. "It seems we are at an impasse. This problem must be dealt with appropriately."

Celestia and Luna stood back to back, holding flintlock pistols, Luna in her magic, and Celestia in her mouth. Trixie was standing off to the side, overseeing the duel.

"Remember," she said, " ten paces, turn, and fire. Whoever lives gets me as their student."

The two princesses nodded. "Begin!" Trixie called out, prompting the princesses to move. One step, two steps, three steps. A nervous sweat was breaking out on all three of the ponies present. Four steps, five steps, six steps. The outcome of this duel would decide the fate of Equestria.

Seven steps...

Eight steps...

Nine steps...

Bam!

"They're dead! They're both dead!" Trixie cried, watching the bodies of the two Alicorns drop. However, they didn't stay dead. The two princesses got up, brushing the dirt off their coats.

"What, you thought we were dead? Alicorns can't die, silly. We settle all our arguments like this."

Trixie stared, wide-eyed, before shrugging. Everypony started dancing and everyone in the world had a giant party.

Berry Punch groggily opened her eyes. "That was the weirdest dream I have ever had..." she muttered. She glanced at the empty bottle of wine in her hoof, and threw it across the room.

"I really need to stop drinking before bed."

AUTHOR'S NOTE-

Well, that's it. That's the end. It was all a dream. Now, before you all shout 'But Clueless! You can't end it like that!' you need to remember: I started writing this as a joke, and never intended for it to get so popular. This was the ending I had planned fro the start. I even had the duel scene planned out a week before I started writing the story.

Okay, now, if you feel like it, you can thumbs down this story or un-favourite it or whatever it is you feel like doing.

Intermission: Cutie Mark Crusaders

"Are ya' sure this is a good idea?"

Scootaloo looked towards her friend, Applebloom in particular. "Of course it is! We're Alicorns now! What could go wrong?"

Sweetie Belle looked nervous. "I don't know about this. Don't you think this is kind of a dangerous idea?" she asked.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on! This is totally safe!" she said, waving her hoof over to her latest cutie mark-obtaining idea. Applebloom looked at it with nervous eyes. She panned her vision over the giant ninety degree angle ramp, the flaming hoops, and the shark tank.

"I really think this is a bad idea. At least replace the giant trampoline at the end with a pile of hay!"

"Chickens..." commented Scootaloo. What's the worst that can happen riding down a ramp in a scooter, jumping through several flaming hoops, over a shark tank, and landing on a trampoline? She was about to jump on her scooter and attempt it when an aggravating and all to familiar voice came up from below. The trio looked down to find Diamond Tiara and her sidekick, Silver Spoon.

"Hey Blank Flanks! Are you still trying to earn your Cutie Marks?" Silver Spoon shouted from below.

"Yeah, and we're gonna get 'em!" shouted Scootaloo. "We're all Alicorns now, we could do so many cool things we couldn't do before!"

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, everypony knows you're all going to get Cutie Marks about trying to get your cutie marks! What a useless special talent!" she said. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon burst into laughter.

A thoughtful look appeared on Applebloom's face. "Wait a second," she said. "Why didn't I ever think'a this before? What even are your special talents? Wearin' a tiara? What kinda' special talent is that?"

Scootaloo burst into laughter. "I bet Silver Spoon's special talent is spooning!"

Diamond Tiara opened her mouth, about to respond, but couldn't think of anything to say. The two bullies ran off.

Author's Note

I know, I know, it's a short one this time. I have a reason for this. I really, really wanted to get out my opinion of DD and SS's useless Cutie Marks, except I wasn't planning on including any of the characters in this intermission into the story. So I slapped in a little comedy and hope against all hope you don't all find where I live and make me write more satisfying chapters at gunpoint.

Been there, done that, it's not as awesome as it sounds.

Intermission: Colgate

Colgate dashed out into the streets and spread her wings, flying to the roof of her dental clinic. "I'm tired of all of you! None of you ponies take your dental hygiene seriously!" she shouted at the crowds assembling below. They all looked up at her, wide-eyed and frightened. Was Colgate going crazy?

Colgate opened up the paper bags she was carrying with her magic. Hundreds of toothbrushes flew out and circled her. The crowd below gasped in shock. What was she planning to do? The dentist threw her head back, cackling maniacally. With a flash of her horn, the toothbrushes launched themselves at the surrounding crowds.

The ponies on the ground screamed. Their beloved dentist had lost it! Sadly for them, while they were screaming with their mouths wide open, the toothbrushes flew into their mouths and vigorously started to brush.

"Nooo!" Carrot Top screamed, "My teeth! They're being cleaned!"

The crowd of ponies stopped screaming. "This... this isn't so bad, I guess." the crowd muttered. "Thanks Colgate!"

Colgate looked up to the sky and puffed out her chest. "You are very welcome, Citizen! Colgate, up-up- an away!" she cried as she spread her wings and flew up into the sky, higher than the clouds, and into the sun.

This isn't canon.

Also, expect short intermissions for all of your suggestions every half hour or so. Starting tomorrow.

Intermission: Iron Will

"Do you want to drop your doormat ways? Do you want ponies to stop pushing you around? If so, all you need to do is take Iron Will's self help program. If you're not satisfied, you. Pay. Nothing!"

Ponies of all colours crowded the stage, eagerly awaiting the seminar to come. Iron Will's self help seminars were legendary in Equestria, and they were willing to spend anything to get cured of their doormat-syndrome.

Which probably proved how much they needed to stop being doormats.

"Do you want to be an amazing Alicorn like Iron Will?" the minotaur-turned-Alicorn roared. The ponies in the crowd looked around in confusion.

A lime coloured pony lifted her hoof. "But we already are Alicorns!" she said.

Iron Will rolled his eyes. "I mean, do you want to be amazing Alicorns! Emphasis on amazing!"

The crowd cheered. "Come on everypony, stomp your hooves!" he called out. The crowd did as instructed, stomping their hooves on the ground, causing it to rumble. "Okay everypony! What do you do if somepony treats you like a pushover?" Everypony in the crowd mumbled to each other.

The same lime green pony from before raised her hoof. "Politely ask them to stop?" she asked. Iron will rolled his eyes.

"No! Repeat after me! Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once over!"

The crowd repeated it enthusiastically. The lime mare raised her hoof again. "What is it now, lady?" he asked, exasperated.

"What if you don't want to give them the once over?"

"Just get out of here, lady."

Alternate Ending- Problem Solved

"I can't do it!"

Trixie had been trying for hours to even start to understand the spell, but to no avail. It was just ridiculous! She was even starting to believe the pony who created it just wrote a bunch of random words and number on a page and called it magic. "This is ridiculous! Nopony can learn this spell!" she complained.

Luna rolled her eyes. "Twilight Sparkle did it." she said.

Trixie glared. "Sparkle..." she muttered menacingly.

A knock was heard on the door. "Come in!" Luna called. The door swung open, revealing her sister and Twilight.

"Hello Princess, we just came to check up on you and your new... student." Twilight greeted. She cast a suspicious glance at Trixie, who returned the favour.

"Sparkle..." the mare muttered again, confusing Twilight.

"Luna, you did not tell me you would be getting somepony else to learn the spell." Celestia stated. "I don't think outsourcing is a very good idea."

"I'll be honest with you, sister. I'm not sure I can learn the spell..." Luna said, shamefaced.

Twilight trotted up to Luna and Trixie. "Maybe I can talk you through it? I'm sure with us working together, you can learn this spell in no time at all!"

Luna cast the spell an hour and a half later. "Wow, that was actually very simple." she noted.

Twilight nodded. "I'm just glad to have my horn back!" she said with a laugh.

Not very far away, every pony who had previously been flying with their Alicorn wings fell to the ground as they reverted back to normal. The doctors in Ponyville all retired rich the next day.