And Then There Was That One Time That I Wiped Out An Entire Civilization

by EpicGuy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life
Length: 2943

The odds and ends of published ramblings and unreleased ones, with loads of uneeded shipping! Yay!

Because sometimes, an unlucky, foolish soul hands EpicGuy a keyboard.

And sometimes, stories are ripped to shreds by an editor (Or myself on dire occasions), and shoved out of the light, never to be seen again, until now.

This is a collection of fictions too short to publish, as well as drafts for already released stories or chapters. If needed, I'll add to the mix anything deemed "unworthy" to grace this site- for example, any kind of Sombra X Celestia shipping.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-18 21:28:55 UTC

With All My Heart- A Twilestia

Notes: N/A

Twilight Sparkle blinked slowly, her lithe body merely a highlighted shadow against the darkness of night. Her eyes were dilated to the point where their lavender irises were no more than the thinnest of stripes across the rim of black. She breathed quickly, like a scared animal, and her hooves tingled in the anticipation of being caught, of being seen in this fragile state.

“I can’t be seen,” she told herself softly, “I can’t turn back now. Not with all that I went through to get here.”

The unicorn mare’s words lingered in the air, laced with regret, but she still slunk forward with the agility of the slyest fox in the forest. Her hooves clopped quietly on the polished tiles as she went on her way.

Twilight Sparkle was not the type of pony to keep secrets to herself or hold back her opinions, but given the scenario, tonight was a different story. She felt like an entirely different mare, one with many years of hiding and lying under her belt. She felt like what she was doing tonight, in these tall, looming walls, was right-

-no, she knew it was right. Never before had her heart beat so furiously at the thought of looking upon her heart’s desire, inhaling it’s sweet scent and basking in it’s warmth.

“I must.”

She leaped up the grand stairway, the path gilded and glowing as if in the daylight. Her movements were subtle enough that she was not questioned by the passersby- though there were so few at this hour, so it didn’t exactly matter-  but merely regarded as the flittering of the moonlight on the paint.

Twilight Sparkle felt tears pool up in her eyes as the flight of stairs ended, and a hallway opened up for her. She yearned to touch the alicorn’s silky fur, burrow into the depths of her mane, and rest. The mental journey for them both would be long and difficult- she was a bright unicorn, intelligent beyond her years, and knew this well- but for herself, the physical adventure was almost at its completion. A sweet smile, like zap-apple marmalade fresh out of the container, graced her lips as she leaped up the stairway, two steps at a time.

Finally, she reached the gilded door of her master, her mentor, her everything. It seemed as majestic as ever despite the lack of sunlight. Within the pure white doors was the faithful co-ruler of Equestria, the queen of everything associated with daytime and warmth. Celestia, the all-powerful goddess and supreme beauty of the land. Twilight would have drooled if she were a lower-level pony.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, which let out a surprised gasp that morphed into a high-pitched squeal. The lavender mare cursed under her breath and slid into the room, hoping she hadn’t woken the royal. To her great satisfaction, Celestia hadn’t stirred.

Delighted yet dignified, Twilight Sparkle climbed into the bed of the alicorn. It was simply divine, and she instantly felt her hooves sinking into the mattress, which was most likely filled with the softest pegasus down. Before she could take another step, she found herself dragged through a tunnel of sheets and a fleece blanket before being dropped in a pool of shadow.

Her horn glowed a pale magenta, and she grinned as her surroundings began to glow before her. A wall of white was in front of her, with a dusty gray pillow beneath her rump, and above her head... a disgruntled magical being.

Celestia’s mane was a mess, and her crown (most likely forgotten by the princess) was lopsided and hung at the very edge of her ear. Dark circles were below her eyes, which were miniature, purple suns themselves and gave off a light of their own. “Twilight?” she asked, as if speaking through a thick haze.

She almost didn’t speak, but her inner student won out. “Yes, Princess Celestia?” she said softly.

Celestia blinked once, as if she were thinking of a suitable punishment behind her heavy eyelids. She smirked devilishly, and Twilight Sparkle swooned. She was forever grateful that the midnight covered up her expression.

“You silly filly.” Celestia murmured, her yellow horn glowing. She picked up Twilight in a swish of telekinetic magic and snuggled her up to her body, wrapping her long, slender hooves around the unicorn. “Cadance may be the Element of Love, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tell when a pony’s seeing hearts.”

Twilight blushed deeply. She said nothing to her mentor.

“I feel I should confess something to you, my dearest student.” The force of which she said “dearest” made Twilight Sparkle’s heart heave, and she braced for what she had to say. “I...”

“...Yes?”

“I love you too, Twilight. With all my heart.”

The Ponylimpics, Ch. 1- A Draft

Notes: This is, of course, a draft of one chapter in my National Pony Writing Month entry. I wrote it before I could come up with a good ponification of London, and have not gotten around to editing it yet. You have been warned.

Twilight Sparkle levitated a cream-colored pamphlet into the air, where she opened the folds before showing it to Rainbow Dash. Her eyes were clouded with concern as she let her friend’s eyes pass over the words and photos printed within for the second time.

“I told you once, Twilight,” the pegasus began, “and I guess I gotta tell you again- there is nothing, not even a signed Daring-Do book, that will get me on a train to the Ponylimpics. No way.” She shook her head for emphasis and crossed her cyan hooves.

The unicorn frowned and gave the pamphlet another look, biting her lip to the point where it almost bled onto the oak floor. She took mental notes on which bulletpoints of information could aid her in a heated argument, which was sure to happen with a pony as feisty as Rainbow.

“But this is the Ponylimpics we’re talking about, Rainbow!” Twilight stressed the event’s name as she spoke. “The most important athletic event in the entire world! You could get recognized by the elite,  get a golden medal, or you could make history! Why ever would you not want to go?”

Rainbow Dash groaned and rolled her eyes, scratching a groove in a wooden plank below her fluffy tail with her hoof. “Just no, Twi. Final answer.” She smirked. “Did I win a million bits?”

The remark went right over the unicorn’s head as she organized the miscellaneous bits and pieces of insight found inside the pamphlet, which the pegasus had found on her doorstep a few days ago, stating she was eligible to compete for bronze, silver or gold in the Flying competition during the Ponylimpics. Even a studious mare like Twilight knew how big of a deal it was to even get an invitation, let alone qualify in a heat for a medal. She heard some ponies were so desperate for glory in their sport that they took extra jobs, trained long nights or disowned long-lived habits to simply get to the event, let alone win.

“You do know that none of the Wonderbolts were ever invited, right?” she asked.

Rainbow Dash stopped her digging just as a stray splinter pricked the soft skin around her hard hoof, drawing crimson blood into her rut and causing her to grimace slightly. “Repeat that again.” she said between clenched teeth. The splinter was tiny, but the pain it caused her already sore leg was momentous.

Twilight saw her chance to draw her friend in, and she smiled at the realization. “You know, Dashie, none of the Wonderbolts were invited to compete. They asked you to.”

Instead of beaming at the idea and crushing the door in extreme happiness, the pegasus gasped and she snatched the pamphlet away with a furious huff. “This is an outrage!” she cried as she leafed through the flaps. “Spitfire’s the best flyer on the team! She definitely got a medal!”

“Sorry, Rainbow, but that’s false.” Twilight added.

“What about Soarin’?”

“Nope.”

“Surprise? Mist Twister?”

“None of them got the slightest bit of attention from the committee. They were focused on you, and only you.”

Rainbow Dash lifted her head from the paper and stared, her face stoic, at the unicorn. “You’ve gotta be kidding, Twi. You’re joking. “

Twilight Sparkle saw her catch tug on the line, and she wasn’t about to let it swim away. “I’m just stating the facts, straight from the committee themselves. They commented on your technique and speed especially, saying that’s where you excel.”

“Stop it.”

“Fame, glory, maybe even recognition by the Wonderbolts?” She could practically hear her friend foaming at the mouth in the background. “Why wouldn’t somepony like you want to jump on that chance?”

Rainbow Dash thought long and hard about her words, and by instinct starting to dig again with her other hoof. All of those were valid points, but what if something horrible happened in the process? What if- she dismissed the thought quickly- she lost?

“Fine, Twi.” she said flatly, slumping her shoulders.

Twilight reeled in her prize, which was all she dreamed of and more. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash. I promise you won’t regret the decision.” She dismissed the pegasus, telling her to break the news to the others and remind them to pack their bags in order to leave on time tomorrow.  She reluctantly agreed to her terms and quickly took flight once out of the threshold.

As the last bit of her long rainbow tail disappeared into the wide sky, Twilight slammed the door so hard the hinges squeaked and a thin cut appeared in the sturdy wood. She smiled coyly and hopped happily around the floor, letting her mane flow around her shoulders and bounce across her lean back. “Yes! Finally!” she cheered as she leaped. “I’m going to London!”

As the thick sheets of precipitation, twinkling as each droplet hit, descended upon the train in harsh waves, Pinkie Pie giggled from within the warm clutches of the velvet seat she bounced upon. Her droning cackles of laughter intertwined in strange harmony with the sudden strikes of thunder that boomed often enough to get on Rarity’s thin nerves.

“Enlighten me, Twilight Sparkle,” the unicorn gazed across the train car at her friend, who was decked out in the traditional colors of the home of Ponylimpics, “and refresh my memory. Why must I put up with Pinkie here?”

“Wee!” Pinkie interjected, doing a flip.

“Because I finally get a chance to go to London and I’m not going to-“ Twilight paused and blushed. “I mean, because it is important that we cheer on Rainbow when she goes to compete.”

Rarity rolled her eyes and pointed a hoof at the pegasus in question, who was spread out across her seat, head hung over the side, snoring. “It doesn’t exactly look like she’s thankful.” she snorted.

Applejack, whose seat was placed in front of Pinkie’s, turned around and raised an eyebrow at her performance. “Don’t forget, ya gotta add the little twirl right before ya land for some extra points.” she commented.

Pinkie Pie was already in the air, at the climax of her leap when the advice reached her ears. “Okie dokie lokie, Applejack!” The magenta mare went through her routine again, taking great care to avoid any mishaps, and twirled her slender body one last time just before her extended hoof touched the plush seat. A few petty claps came from Fluttershy and Applejack, the later whistling.

“Perfect!” she exclaimed, giving a firm pat on the back as she passed.

Rarity raised an eyebrow at her friend’s enthusiasm. “Not to be rude, Applejack, but why would you give out advice on how to get ‘points’ to random ponies?”

“Pinkie’s random, that’s for sure,” Applejack answered smugly, “but she needs the advice for when the competition starts. She’s gotta mighty fine routine, but that little twirl? The judges’ll be shoutin’ ‘encore! Encore!’”

“Judges?” Twilight asked. She looked up on her thick book, entitled “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to London.”

“The gymnastics competition, Twi! Surely you two know about the gymnastics portion of the Ponylimpics. It’s always so much fun to watch ‘em twist into pretzels and leap from the high bar to the low one.”

Twilight fought back a giggle. Rarity outright burst out laughing, rolling around on her seat while daintily cawing. “Pinkie? Ponylimpics?” The thought made her splutter her next remark. “That’s the silliest thing I’ve heard since Celestia running for the role of ‘editor of Playcolt magazine!’”

Twilight, albeit a little reluctantly, completely destroyed her barricade of stoicism and began to roll on the floor of the train car, her oversized red, white and blue glasses sliding across her nose. Her frenzied giggles made it hard to say a single syllable, let alone a sentence.

Pinkie stared back at her friends with a look of sadness and depression, and her mane went slack against her head. She looked as if she was going to cry.

“Aw, don’t cry sugarcube,” Applejack cooed, patting her on the back, “They just don’t know how much ya want this.”

The Earth pony sniffled, then in one quick movement her mane regained its normal proportions and she laughed heartily, the noise shaking the train.

“Ba ha ha!” she guffawed. A single, salty tear moved down her cheek, but not for the reason Applejack expected.

“Oh, and I want to compete in a Fencing event!” Rarity mocked between howls. When she saw the pink mare had suddenly stopped, she arranged herself in the seat and organized her mane. “Wait, you’re serious?”

“Yeah!” Pinkie hopped gracefully onto the seat, performing little hops and twirls with ease. “I’ve always wanted to be a gymnast-ist, ever since I was an itty-bitty filly!”

She launched herself up to the ceiling, which was held up by long sections of bronze tubes and rods. Grasping one in her mouth, she completed three flips before dismounting the current one and flying onto the next. “And now I have my chance!” she exclaimed between twirls.

As the final bar rapidly approached her, Pinkie Pie angled her back hooves and bucked the mechanism with a force that caused a huge gape to open in the rock-solid metal. She was sent back to her seat with the force not unlike a Sonic Rainboom, leaving Rarity and Twilight speechless. Applejack looked on with a smug grin.

“See? She can beat anypony in gymnastics, just ya see!” she vowed, leaning against the window as she drank from a jug of Apple Cider. A few stray sprays of the liquid were lodged in the coarse fur surrounding her cheeks as she removed the clay jug from her lips, belched, and set it back on the velvet seat until it was needed again.

From the back of the car, Fluttershy’s nimble head popped out from behind Rainbow Dash’s seat, her mane, as it always was, in a perfect heart-shape. Her eyes darted from side to side, the pupils as small as possible, as she tried to find the strength to speak.

“Um... Guys?” she whispered. They had resumed talking amongst themselves.

“Twilight? R-rarity?” Fluttershy squeaked. “Applejack? Pinkie?”

None of them answered, as the unicorns had begun a long-winded discussion about London and Applejack had her mug in her mouth as she trained Pinkie. Everypony was so occupied with their current actions that they only heard a feeble buzzing in the background, beyond the pouring of rain and crash of thunder.

“I have something to say...” The pegasus raised a hoof, hoping the activity would be easily recognized among the commotion and hoopla. Still no eyes were on her.

“Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing,” she thought.

“I really want to compete in-”

“-at the Ponylimics, if you don’t mind.”

A clap of thunder spliced her single sentence into two, removing the most important word she spoke. The following lightning lit up her crestfallen, dejected face.

Applejack lapped the remains of her cold drink from the jug and looked behind her shoulder at their surroundings, mostly made up of a barren field that had collapsed with the weight of the cascading droplets. A few weeds were scorched by the close lightning that threatened to set the field ablaze, but the effect was little to none as the rain, once more, foiled the fire’s plans before it got out of hand.

“Looks like a mighty nice storm ah-brewin’.” she commented. A gust of wind made the great car shiver, and a wide-eyed Rarity nodded solemnly.

As she continued to scan the area, Applejack sighted a pinprick of light, tiny yet dazzling, in the far off distance. Directly ahead of the speeding train, the field’s vast stretch of grass slowly began to transform from dirt to pebbles, then finally to a straight path of cement that acted as a shield to the rain where the single light source was located. A few ponies, their manes limp by their sides, were sprinting along the road towards the light as if it were their only priority. A few wore thick tracksuits emblazoned with the Equestrian flag, a depiction of Celestia raising the sun with earthy orange accents. Although the natural reaction to running in a storm, the wind whipping your fur would be depression, perhaps with fury for missing a train, the ponies that the train passed were smiling, their eyes milky and thoughtful as they fantasized about the light.

“Girls,” Applejack called them over to the window, motioning to the light, “ah think we’re in London.”