Caring for the sisters

by the-pieman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6432

The life of a royal guard having to deal with caring for two fillies, and having quite a hard time.

This is an attempt at a humorous fic that makes sense (not something people expect from me). The story is about a guard and the two young royal sisters as he tries to be their caretaker, not that they ever make it easy for him, whether intentional or not. Some ideas belong to Quantum_Shift, but the main premise belongs to me as well as most of the ideas. I am writing this fic for my enjoyment, and critiques are okay, but if nobody likes it (other than the mods of course) I'm not changing it.

Pic by mel rosey

Published 2012-11-19 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-20 05:22:06 UTC

Chapter 1

Neigh York.
East Broadway, just off of the Manehattan Bridge.
7:00 PM

I was in the old cafe, with a cup of joe, black, no milk or sugar, I liked it tough and surprising, like me.
I was sitting in the corner table, waiting for my contact when suddenly...

Oh wait, that’s the intro for my ‘murder noir’ fic.
Where’s the intro for my...

Oh right, here it is:

Here I am, a royal Canterlot guard, my job is to take care of the royal sisters. Good pay, fair hours, not a bad job. The problem is, I signed up to be a caretaker for two princesses, not be their *shudder* foalsitter. Don’t get me wrong, Celestia and Luna are sweet and adorable but quite a hooffull at times... okay all the time, but at least they like me.

CRASH!!

Crap, I’ve got to stop monologuing so much.
“Luna, get off the pantry shelf, you could hurt yourself!”

“How? I’ve got great balance, I’m not gonna fall.”

“That’s not the point young filly, now there is broken glass everywhere on the floor and up there, you could get cut.”

She giggles at my unintentional pun “Not if I’m careful, Cloudy!”

I sigh and fly up, grab the dark blue filly and gently put her back on the ground. I start cleaning up the glass. Luna seems mad, but even her grumpy face is cute, why is she so easy to forgive?

“Princess, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me ‘Cloudy’, my name is Cloud Dasher.”

“But that sounds boring, like you are.”

I roll my eyes “I’m here to care for you, not be fun, princess. By the way, where is your sister?”

Luna thinks for a few seconds “I dunno.”

That’s not good, who knows what either of them could get up to if unattended? I look at Luna, and pick her up before taking off. “Hold on Luna, let’s find Celestia.”

Luna just hops onto my back and grabs my mane, giggling at the ride “Wheeeeeeeeee! Go faster! Wheeeee!”

I can already tell this is going to be a long day...

Flying through the castle, I look for Celestia. Normally you’d think a white filly with a pink mane would be easy to spot, but the castle has so many bright colors, her being small can make her very hard to spot. I make a quick lap through some of the hallways and main stairways, but I don’t find her, so I check the other rooms, eventually returning to the pantry. I see something move out of the corner of my eye, and turn to see... a cookie jar? It was laying on it’s side and moving. Cautiously I strafed around it, keeping Luna covered by one of my wings while eyeing the jar suspiciously. Soon, I get to the other side of the cookie jar, and I see a little pink tail, munching sounds coming from inside. I sigh loudly and grab the tail in my teeth gently and pull Celestia out of the jar, she looks up at me a chocolate chip cookie in her mouth.

“Celly, can I have one?” Luna asks noticing the cookie. I put both fillies on the ground, and put the cookie jar back on the top shelf, how either of them get up there is beyond me. “No, no cookies, don’t spoil your dinner.” I take the cookie from Celestia, but then they both look at me with their giant eyes. Curse those eyes, why must they be so cute? WHY!? Obviously I give in and break the cookie into two halves, giving one part to each princess.

Once they are finished, I escort them outside to the garden. “Now you two can play all you want out here, but if anything happens to either of you, I want you to tell me, don’t try and fix it yourselves, understand fillies?” They agree, but not before calling me ‘Sir captain Worry-wart’, they then run off into the garden to play with each other. I watch them carefully, hoping that they can manage to stay out of trouble for at least an hour. Those two fillies can be so difficult, I don’t know why they thought it was a job for one stallion, how could any single pony handle two young fillies? Maybe I could try and get a partner, but who would want to help? The only reason I do this is for the money... and because the sisters are so dang adorable.

It is seven in the afternoon and the fillies somehow kept safe until their bedtime. After a lot of struggling and complaining, I finally got them to sleep, bath time is always a struggle, how can they run so fast on such stubby hooves? Sure they are a hassle during the day, but when they are asleep, I swear a pony could mistake them for angels, they are so cute it makes some of this trouble worthwhile.

I head to my room and look at myself in the mirror. My hunter-green coat seemed alright, my silver mane slightly messy as usual, but one look at the rings under my grayish-blue eyes reminded me of how tired I was. Before going to bed, I look at my cutie mark (a pair of crossed feathers) which I had got for having such dextrous wings. I may not have been the fastest flyer, but my maneuverability alone had gotten me into the royal guard. I lean down, jump back, and do a triple backflip in mid-air, finishing with a side twirl before landing right on my bed.

“Ya still got it, Cloud Dasher, ya still got it.” I whisper to myself smugly before I get under the covers and go to sleep. Today was alright.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Help!” I get up as fast as I can almost tripping over my tail somehow and grab my spear, rushing to Luna’s room. I raise the weapon for a stab attack and open the door quickly to find Luna holding up a stuffed owl toy. I look to the side and aim my spear at... nothing. I check the room carefully, the window is closed and fine, nothing unusual. I go over and hold Luna to get her to stop crying. Eventually she does and I ask her what the problem is. She pulls her covers over her head and squeaks adorably, but this is no time to be distracted.
“Luna, speak up, what is the matter?”

“Th- th- there’s a m- m- m- monster in my closet!!”

“Really? Well where is it?” I ask sarcastically, but her reply surprised me a little.

“It’s right there!” She is pointing towards the closet, and I actually see something! A dark towering figure with huge teeth! I rush towards it but stop when I realized something, it’s not moving or making any sound whatsoever. I look at the ground and see a dragon toy, a shadow of it cast on the wall from Luna’s night light. I take the dragon toy and put it in her toy box and go over to the quivering pile of blankets that was princess Luna and look under the covers.

“It’s okay Luna, the monster is gone, I took care of it.”

She says thank you and hugs me. Yes, this job is almost always worth it.

Chapter 3

A/N: VERY VERY SPECIAL thanks to FanatiGeekBrony and BronyDJ, they are the reason the fic is continuing.

Well, my week off is almost over, just a couple days left so I decide to do something mature before spending the next seven days being a babysitter, I’m heading off to the pub.

I know what you’re thinking, “How could an alcoholic get a job as...” Well I’ll stop you there, because I’m NOT an alcoholic, just because you drink doesn’t mean you WILL get drunk, I’ve had beer and still been sober my entire life, you just need to be careful you don’t drink TOO much.

Anyway, I head to the closest tavern, The Cock and Pucker, a nice cozy little place. Well lit, a fireplace, nice music, and overall pretty clean. Hooray Canterlot, the land of the stuck-up and nitpickers, although this place is actually not very fancy, just cozy. I head over to the counter and order a drink, nothing strong or fancy.

I sit back, listen to the music and relax, and take a small drink from my bottle, this is great. I forget why I don’t come here very often, it seems odd but I don’t spend much time here even though I like it... then it hits me, or rather HE hits me. A hoof to my shoulder a bit too hard to be just friendly, but not intending much pain. Another guard from my squad, not one I like too much. I don’t come here much because the other guys come here often and give me crap.

“Hey, been awhile since I seen YOU around here, I thought you gave up on beer since you became the royal nanny!”

“I’m not a nanny, I’m a caretaker, and nopony said I couldn’t have a drink.”

“Well mister caretaker, shouldn’t you be making sure the rugrat princesses don’t drown in a puddle?”

“It’s my week off, and they’re not going to get hurt.”

“Of course not, they’ve got a great wetnurse, good thing you quit being a guard, you might have gotten hurt!”

Now he’s getting on my nerves. “I’m STILL a guard, I just happen to have another job on the side. If the call goes out, I’m gonna be out there fighting just like the rest of you, but until then, I take care of Luna and Celestia!”

“Yeah, second-rate soldier by night, and ‘Mommy of the Year’ by day, huh? What’s wrong Cloudy? Do you LIKE being a wussy little chicken?”

“...Leave me alone.”

“Or what, you’re gonna show me what you learned while watching a pair of snot-nosed little bra-”

“Shut up, @$$hole!”

“Oh my, you know a big-boy word! Congratulatio-”

I’ve had it. I punch him in the nose, sending him back a few inches. He looks surprised, then really mad. “Buddy, you’re dead.” He hits me back, and eventually we get into a typical slugfest. I’m losing though. Never was very strong. Oh well, I’m not giving up. I turn around leaving myself open and he takes the bait, shoving me forward to the floor. I get up very slowly as he gets closer, but timing is important. He lifts his hoof to hit me. Wings, don’t fail me now.

I buck him right as he’s open, hitting him right under his foreleg and use my wings to flip up, and I kick him in the chin. Haven’t done that kind of thing in a while, I’m really glad I still got it. I then grab the edge of a table and use my wings and hind legs to jump up quickly. This flips the table over and it hits him in the face. He spits out a tiny amount of blood, then makes a fast move with his hoof. I can’t see what he did, but he doesn’t waste time showing me. He has a beer bottle in his hoof which he slams against the overturned table’s leg, breaking the bottle.

He holds the sharp half-bottle up to my face. I’m unprepared for this kind of tactic, and it seems he knows this. Military school never covered barfights. Why couldn’t he have grabbed a spear? Those I understand, not weaponized glass. Crap.

“Alright, fine, you can fight, but you’re still a wuss. I’ll give you one chance to prove me right, and let you bail. What are you gonna do, Cloud Dasher? You gonna run, or try and be a hero?”

“I’m no hero, and neither are you, that’s pretty obvious. Fine, I at least know when I’m beat, I’m out of here.” He backs off and I walk past him to the door, but I turn back to him and give him a few words to think about. “You know what, Hopper? I may be a coward for running, but you’re a coward for relying on dirty fighting. Using a weapon on an unarmed opponent is just immoral.”

“Ya know what, Cloud? Bite me.” He holds up a wing and folds his feathers back, letting the longest one stick up.

I leave and head home, I hurt pretty bad and I don’t feel up to doing anything else. I hope tomorrow goes better.

I get up, and my legs and head hurt. A physical beating and a headache. B-E-A-Utiful. This is just fantastic. Oh well, no purpose whining about it, might as well get help. I head off to the health center, so-called because it’s too small to be a hospital but still just as effective.

I check in and I’m all fixed up before I know it, glad I didn’t break anything. Of course I don’t get a talking to because I’m a guard, and of course I’d get injured. Obviously I left out how I got hurt, but that’s not really important here, is it? I get out and I feel fine, though I do ache a bit if I strain myself too much, at least this should be healed by tonight.

Walking down the street, I guess I might do a bit of shopping. With 70 bits left, I can get something nice, but what? I think back to yesterday, before the fight. Hopper is such a jerk, I don’t like it when ponies insult me, but why did he have to say things like that about the fillies? What did they do to him? Last I checked, I’m the only guard who sees them. Maybe that’s why I’m so protective, I have to do all of it alone, not that I’m complaining. Perhaps I should get something for the sisters, I don’t have to, but I want to.

Except I don’t know what to get, what would they like? Clothes? Nah. A book? No, the castle library has plenty of children’s stories. Toys would do better I think, but what kind of toy? I go to a store and look around, I see some interesting things. I pick up this weird looking tiny... thing. It’s made of metal and glass like a telescope. A tag says it’s called a Kaleidoscope... huh, weird. I look through it, and it looks like somepony ran around the place going nuts with a bunch of paints and a hammer. Then I found out that it turns, making the place spin and change colors. Holy crap, that’s trippy. This is certainly... interesting, but definitely not what I’m looking for, unless I wanted to brainwash somepony. Hmm... Nah. What else is here?

A ball caught my eye. Why? It’s just a ball... wait. I read the tag:

The Tumble Orb, an excellent combination of transfiguration, physical manipulation, and telepathy magic. This is the result of a typical ball being expertly enchanted to have incredible properties. With the power of a thought, anypony can alter the Tumble Orb’s behavior. It can be light as air, or as heavy as a boulder. It can hit a wall and bounce off like rubber, or stick and not move. It can be squishy or solid, it can treat drag and friction however you wish, and it can even freeze in mid-air! The Tumble Orb can do anything at anytime, allowing for possibilities as limitless as your imagination!!

Interesting, maybe this is just what I’m looking for. Yeah, the girls will love this. So I buy it and wrap it up to give to them tomorrow, this can’t possibly go wrong.

To be continued, same pony-channel, probably not the same pony-time.

Chapter 4

Today is the day I go back to the castle and see little Celestia and Luna, and I have a gift for them. The Tumble Orb is really odd, mainly because the advertising actually wasn’t lying. I thought it’d be like everything else I had to carry: heavier than it looks, probably by twenty pounds. As soon as I picked it up, I felt like I was back in military school in the weight room. By pure force habit, I wished it wasn’t so heavy, when *bampf* it was so light I had to check the box to make sure it was still there, and it was! I think the girls will have fun with this, they’ve always been pretty creative.

I walk up to the castle and open the door, and call out for the princesses.

“Hey! Celestia! L- *OOF*”
As soon as I set hoof in the door and make myself known, I am immediately assaulted by a pair of filly-shaped missiles. I am on my back with both of the girls laying on top of me and giggling like crazies. It’s odd, they always seem to miss me when I’m gone for the week, maybe it’s because they’re just excitable.

Celestia and Luna jump off of my barrel, and let me get up. They are still laughing and rolling on the floor, then Celestia notices I have something, a little blue and pink box. She stares at the box, trying to guess what could be inside, studying it with a hard look.

Luna noticed her sister had stopped laughing and was wondering what she was so focused on, when she saw the box too instantly becoming incredibly curious as well. However, unlike her sister, Luna was a bit more rambunctious and less patient. She started jumping up and down around me, a huge smile on her face.

“Whatsinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?
What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?
What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?
What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?
What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?
What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?Whatsinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?
What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?
What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?
What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?What’sinthebox!?”

As cute as the bouncing filly was, she was starting to get a little bit annoying, so I held up the box and opened it, pulling out the Tumble Orb. I set it on the ground and smile.

“Girls, I figured I’d get you something so I bought this for you two to play with, do you know what it is?”

Celestia walked up to it first.
“It’s a... ball?”

“In a way, yes, but in other ways it’s not. Do you know what it’s called?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t. How about you Luna?”

“Nope, I dunno.”

I then tell the curious little fillies about what the Tumble Orb can do and how it works. Needless to say, they are enthralled. Celestia pokes it with her hoof slowly and the Orb hardly moves, disappointing her.

“It won’t work, are you sure it’s not just a ball?”

Before I can reply, Luna jumps towards the Orb excitedly.

“Let me try. Whoah!”

As soon as Luna landed on the Orb, it flew back quickly, hit a tree and headed back at high speed. It was headed right for Celestia, if it hit her at that speed it would... uh oh. I’m already heading into the castle to get the first-aid kit, but something was wrong. It was too quiet, what about the impact? I look back, and I see a shocked Luna, her eyes as big as dinner plates. Following her gaze, I see Celestia curled up, eyes shut tight and hooves covering her head. The Tumble Orb is just barely an inch away from her, frozen in midair. She slowly uncovers herself and opens her eyes, sighing loudly in relief. She sits back, her entire body shivering. I pick her up and take her inside, Luna following behind me, still visibly rattled.

“C-C-Cloudy?”

“What is it, Celestia?”

“Th-That was scary.”

“I know, I was scared too.” I hold her closer.

“I don’t want to play with that thing anymore.”

“I understand, I should have made sure we could use it safely first, it’s all my fault.”

Luna speaks up “It’s kinda my fault too, but at least you were able to stop the Orb, I know I couldn’t...”

“Luna is right, we should be glad that you are unhurt, this could have been much worse, you are okay, right Celestia?”

“Y- Yeah, and I don’t blame anypony, none of you meant to, but I still don’t like that Orb.”

“Yeah, until then though, practicing with it slowly would be a smart move, that way nopony will get hurt for real.”

I really think that could have gone better. No, I KNOW it could have gone better. I’m so stupid, why did I think that they could use the Tumble Orb safely without any actual experience? Learning from our mistakes is important, but I never want to risk hurting either of the girls, or even scaring them like that again.

So I put the Orb in a safe place, and decided that maybe we should just relax, which both of the sisters agreed to without any hesitation, we spent the rest of the day just playing board games and relaxing. I’ve learned my lesson and I vow to be more careful with the girls from now on, and now that I’ve made sure to be aware of possible accidents, our worst experiences are behind us.

But if that’s true, why do I have the feeling things are going to get so much worse? Oh well, that’s why I’m a guard, if anything happens, I’ll be prepared for it. ...Right?

Chapter 5

It’s been three days since the accident with Celestia, and the three of us are starting to get the hang of controlling the Tumble Orb. It’s obvious that practice is necessary to using the Orb, or it becomes a potential extreme safety hazard, not to mention scary. Celestia is still a bit nervous about being too close (‘close’ meaning about two meters) to the Orb, but that’s understandable, at least she hasn’t been traumatized. Luna on the other hoof, was quick to want to play with the Orb again, and she’s gotten good at it. She can bounce it around and slow it down, but she seems to avoid making it speed up while it’s in the air, I guess she doesn’t want another close call.

It’s odd, I think a warning label or SOMETHING should be put on the toy, after all, Luna almost inadvertently (not to mention literally) knocked Celestia’s block off, or at least hit her with enough force to cause possibly lethal brain damage... wow, that got dark fast, thank you imagination, that’s quite the interesting mental picture... think of something else, think of something else.

I turn and look towards Celestia and see she has actually started playing with the Orb, very carefully of course, but at least she’s trying. It’s floating in the air and Celestia is making it move back and forth, then lets it drop and it bounces up and down. It really isn’t affected by drag or friction at all, it keeps hitting the ground without bouncing lower or slowing down, it’s not even bouncing at an angle. I don’t know how those unicorns did it, but for once, something works exactly as advertised.

Luna is staring at the Orb, watching it go up and down, then she jumps at it. She grabs the Orb and actually supports her weight without slowing down at all, and Luna seems to be having fun bouncing. Luna then moves the Orb around while still holding on, resulting in a very cute sight involving Luna bouncing around the room on the Orb, which is almost as big as she is. Now that is adorable. She starts bouncing pretty high though, and while she may be having fun, I start imagining Luna slipping off, or gravity pulling her underneath the Orb and being pushed into the ground by the Orb. I think at this point being a killjoy will be warranted.

I focus on the Orb, using my mind to stop it. Unfortunately, I’m a bit agitated by the possible danger and stop the Orb. Immediately. Which pushes Luna into the air. She’s a bit too surprised to remember she has wings. I fly up and catch her before she picks up too much speed, and place her on the ground.

“That was close.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

“So you’re alright?”

“Yup, but that was weird. How’d that happen?”

Then I realized it. I saved Luna from a possible accident, that I caused. Damn.

“Uh, well, you were going pretty high and I thought you might get hurt, so I uh, stopped the Orb. I just thought I should keep you safe.”

“Well, you could’a just said something, I’m not a foal.”

What else can I do? I facehoof at my own stupidity “Right, sorry.”

“It’s okay, Cloudy. Hey Tia, you wanna play catch?”

Celestia may be okay around the Orb, but she still seems hesitant to play with it, if the rather nervous look on her face is any indication. Luna must notice this, and she tries reassuring her sister.

“Come on Tia, we can take it slowly at first, then go faster when you’re ready for it.”

Oh jeez, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh, they’re just fillies, they don’t know what an innuendo is, don’t laugh, don’t laugh. Keep control, stay calm, you’re a guard, you’ve been trained in ‘staring blankly at nothing for hours’ 101. You can do this!

“...Cloudy? Are you alright?”

“Uh... yeah, sure, of course Celestia, I’m perfectly fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re making really weird faces.” Whoops

“Oh, uh, nevermind. I’m okay, just play. Give me a minute.”

I leave. My mind is dirty, I need to clean my head... Oh man, now I’m doing it! Okay, calm down, focus on the job, er, task at hoof. I need to watch the princesses and stay focused. Here we go.
I go back to the girls and I see them tossing the Orb back and forth, the Orb moving through the air at different speeds and occasionally making odd angles in it’s path. I think the girls are finally getting the hang of it. Good, if they just be careful, they can play and nopony will get hurt.

Author's Note

I know this took a long time, but I finished it after a bout with writer’s block. This chapter is the last one where the Tumble Orb will be the center point, but it will still be mentioned and make appearances, I am not getting rid of it. I have no idea what should happen next and I am open to suggestions, but they may not be used (if anyone even offers ideas).

I would like to point out that although this chapter used humor based on impure thought and implications of sexual references, this fic is still rated Everyone because the jokes are neither important to the main story, nor are they used frequently. Examples of children’s shows that make occasional dirty jokes include: The Looney Tunes, Animaniacs, Disney, and even Friendship is Magic.
These are just examples and there are actually a lot more shows. (If you were unaware that the aforementioned shows made dirty jokes, then it is possible that:

A. You were too young to understand them at the time.
B. You are dense.
C. You don’t understand innuendos very well.
D. Your mind just isn’t perverted enough.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Chapter 6

I woke up in my room at the castle, luckily since my job is looking after the princesses, I sleep in the castle, rather than some barracks, what with me being a guard and all. Anyway, I wake up, and head to the main hall, where the two fillies arrive shortly after, but something’s different. They’re not smiling. Uh oh.

“Cloudy?”

“Uh, yes Luna?”

“We’re tired of being in the castle all the time, we wanna go outside.”

“And the gardens don’t count.” Celestia quickly added.

Well, it could be worse. Sighing, I decide giving them a bit of freedom would be a good thing. “Alright, but only under a few conditions.”

“Oh, fine, what are they?” Celestia asks rolling her eyes. Luna looks a little impatient.

“First, I must be with both of you at all times. Second, if you need something or want to go somewhere, ask me first. Third, under no circumstances should you go anywhere I can’t see you.” I take a breath. “I know it sounds stupid, but I just want you to be safe, no harm should ever come to either of you. Besides, if I can’t do that much, what kind of caretaker would I be?”

“A bad one, who’d get fired.”

“Right you are Celestia, and nopony wants that. Let’s go now.”

Luna jumped up on my back “Yay, we get to go outside!!”

And when we get outside, I notice that I overlooked something. Today was not a normal day. Today was a special day. Today was Hearts and Hooves Day. I don’t know how the fillies will react, seeing the holiday for themselves, but however they react, I can only hope I will live through it easily.

“Hey Cloudy?”

“Yes Luna?” I turn to the dark blue filly sitting on my back.

“Do you have a special somepony?”

Crap.

This was not something I expected, but I didn’t know that today was Hearts and Hooves Day. The problem is obvious, I’m a guard. While I am a caretaker, I’m still a guard and must be ready to move if I am called to arms. Love doesn’t help at all when you’re a guard, but that’s obvious. If you’re in love, you sometimes get distracted. If a guard is distracted, then he will not perform well in action, which means I could either get hurt by whomever I’m trying to stop, or get ejected by an official. Neither situation is good, so I just decided to avoid romance so I’d never have that problem.

Here’s the problem, that might not sound like a good reason to a filly, so what can I say to explain why I’ve never tried to get a marefriend? One idea popped into my head, but with all my time with the sisters, I’ve learned to avoid certain statements. I’m pretty sure that ‘I haven’t found the right mare’ isn’t the best answer, so now I have to think... Maybe the truth? Meh, worth a shot.

“I don’t have a marefriend because I’m a guard, and having a special somepony would make my job harder.”

Luna scrunched up her face. “That sounds like a dumb rule.”

“It’s not exactly a rule, it’s really more of a guideline.”

Celestia had a rather thoughtful look on her face, and it worried me. I need to say something fast.

“Besides, since I don’t have a marefriend, I get to spend more time with you two.” Well, at least it was honest, I really do like caring for Celestia and Luna a lot.

Celestia stopped thinking about my guideline statement, but she still had something to say. That filly is quite a planner. “Why couldn’t she look after us with you?”

Uh oh, I have to come up with a reason, and make it believable. Come on brain, what do I say?
“I don’t know.”
Thanks a lot brain, why did you have to reply out loud?

Needless to say, I was a bit unsettled, although I probably wasn’t in the best position at the moment. I’m chaperoning two fillies that will grow up to rule this entire land, introducing them to something created solely from the idea of loving companionship. I’ve never even kissed a mare, and as soon as I started my training as a guard, I pretty much threw away the possibility of ever having a marefriend.

“There are lots of rules that seem stupid, but they are intended to keep us safe even if it costs us a bit of happiness. I don’t like it either, but safety is important, right?”

Celestia sighed, replying with a mumble. “Yeah, I guess.”

Luna just had a little pout on her face, looking unhappy and adorable.

I decided it was time to move on to another subject. “So now that we’re in the main district, what do you want to do first?” I watched as the fillies began thinking of what fate would befall me, I silently hoped that I would be able to endure.

Celestia and Luna, still being young, hadn’t really planned much further than going outside. As they thought, I could almost see gears turning in their heads. These little ponies were very imaginative and though their cute faces and wings gave the impression of angels, I understood all too well that they were a chore at times, but they were still angels. Very small, energetic, excitable, and curious angels.

I wished that they’d start off easy. Considering I didn’t have a map of the town and was running on memory alone, I hoped they would choose a place I knew, I’d try and get a map there.

Luna tapped on my fore-hoof and looked up at me, and she asked the last question I would expect.

“Where do you live?”

Someplace I knew well, a place where I knew I could get a map. Oh how I hate irony.

“Well alright, but it’s not very impressive, don’t expect too much.”

The walk there was rather uneventful aside from the holiday reminders around town. Eventually we got to my house, in all its glory. Its wooden, ragged, somewhat slanted, poorly insulated, weather-worn glory. Possibly the worst place in this section of town, it was a very far cry from the castle. I awaited the fillies’ response; ready for whatever negative criticism came to their young royal minds.

Celestia was the first to respond. “That must be rather easy to live in.”

She was kind, it even sounded sincere. “The castle looks so much better though. Really, Celestia, how does my home compare to yours?”
This time, Luna spoke up. “Well, it’s small, the castle is huge. I sometimes worry if I’m going to get lost in all those rooms.”

That was unexpected. As was the rest of their comparisons. The princesses went back and forth, listing the benefits of my puny little home.

“You don’t have to get a ladder to reach the top shelf.”

“Walking from your room to anywhere else will take less than a minute.”

“Looking up at the ceiling won’t make you dizzy.”

The listing continued, and once they stopped, I felt better about my situation. “Thanks girls, I still don’t think it’s very impressive, but I’ll admit it does have it’s good points.”

We walked inside, the door making a squeaking noise on it’s worn hinges as I opened it. The noises didn’t stop there as the wooden floor made occasional creaks. It was definitely in need of fixing, that much couldn’t be argued. Another thing that couldn’t be argued was the excitement of a certain pair of fillies as they saw something they had never seen before. They moved through rooms quickly, amazed at how small a room could be and still serve its basic purpose. As they ‘inspected’ everything, seeing how the lower-class lived, I went to my room and found a map of Canterlot after a bit of searching. Putting the map in my saddlebag, I walked out of my room and began searching for the princesses. I don’t care how small an area is, when those two want to hide, they can disappear completely. I wasn’t terribly worried since I knew the worst thing that could happen is that they find a spider, but finding them was important nonetheless.

Chapter 2

Well, It’s my week off. Yeah, I do care for the royal fillies, but only every other week. They have someone else do it when I’m not, or unable to do so. I hardly know ‘em though, seeing as they’re only around when I’m not. I don’t even know who they are or if they’re a mare or stallion! I’ve never bothered to ask the fillies because it never really seemed to matter, and they don’t talk about them. I guess they aren’t a guard because if we both get called away on a matter of Canterlot’s protection, the fillies will be left all alone and that’s just asking for trouble. I guess it shouldn’t matter if I know who they are, but I’ve grown attached to the girls and I don’t want anything bad happening to them... oh what am I saying? If the pony was hired to look after the sisters, of COURSE they’re trustworthy. I didn’t exactly APPLY for the job, I was just told I was the best candidate due to my spotless record as a guard and my willingness to put anypony else’s safety before my own no matter the situation or the consequence. And since I’d be getting paid to be a guard AND guardian, I’d get a pretty good amount of income, so I took the job. I just forgot that a royal caretaker does more than protect, he has to serve and... take care of them.

Not that this job isn’t worth it, sometimes I forget that I get money to do this and I feel like I’m getting rewarded when I get to see little Luna and Celestia smile and laugh. I swear, you could be the most stone hearted, cruel, selfish pony ever and yet those girls could melt your heart in seconds. But it’s my job to make sure that nopony like that or worse gets within 100 meters of the royal sisters, and I’ve got the military experience to back that up... maybe THAT’S why they hired a guard.

Aw, thinking about the fillies makes me want to see them, but it IS my day off from work, so unless I get a call about the platoon needing backup, I’ve got the week to myself and my bi-weekly 80-bit salary. The problem is, I don’t know what to do...

A/N: This is it mares and gentlecolts! With an entire week off and 80 bits to spend, YOU get to decide what Cloud Dasher does with his time. Please note that I’m only going to pick TWO suggestions, and only ONE suggestion per person.

Also, I already have plans for the other employee/caretaker so any suggestions involving them will NOT be accepted.

It seems that I've only gotten a few suggestions. I KNOW you are reading this, so SUGGEST something. Remember everypony, no suggestions = no more chapters!!!